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我为喜剧狂(30 Rock)第6季第13集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月10日 By jubentaici_movie_user 我为喜剧狂(30 Rock)第6季第13集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
目录
S01E01
S01E02
S01E03
S01E04
S01E05
S01E06
S01E07
S01E08
S01E09
S01E10
S01E11
S01E12
S01E13
S01E14
S01E15
S01E16
S01E17
S01E18
S01E19
S01E20
S01E21
S02E01
S02E02
S02E03
S02E04
S02E05
S02E06
S02E07
S02E08
S02E09
S02E10
S02E11
S02E12
S02E13
S02E14
S02E15
S03E01
S03E02
S03E03
S03E04
S03E05
S03E06
S03E07
S03E08
S03E09
S03E10
S03E11
S03E12
S03E13
S03E14
S03E15
S03E16
S03E17
S03E18
S03E19
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S03E21
S03E22
S04E01
S04E02
S04E03
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S04E05
S04E06
S04E07
S04E08
S04E09
S04E10
S04E11
S04E12
S04E13
S04E14
S04E15
S04E16
S04E17
S04E18
S04E19
S04E20
S04E21
S04E22
S05E01
S05E02
S05E03
S05E04
S05E05
S05E06
S05E07
S05E08
S05E09
S05E10
S05E11
S05E12
S05E13
S05E14
S05E15
S05E16
S05E17
S05E18
S05E19
S05E20
S05E22
S05E23
S06E01
S06E02
S06E03
S06E04
S06E05
S06E06
S06E08
S06E09
S06E10
S06E11
S06E12
S06E13
S06E14
S06E15
S06E16
S06E17
S06E18
S06E19
S06E20
S06E21
S06E22
S07E01
S07E02
S07E03
S07E04
S07E05
S07E06
S07E07
S07E08
S07E09
S07E10
S07E11
S07E1213
时间 英文 中文
[00:03] Why did I just receive these viewer essays on the subject “why I love tgs?” 我怎么收到 观众就为何喜爱TGS写的征文
[00:08] – please tell me it’s not- the annual tgs viewer walk-on contest. – 拜托这千万别是 – TGS年度观众跑龙套大赛
[00:12] It’s great promotion,lemon. 这是不错的宣传 Lemon
[00:13] We found that if someone is actually on nbc,they’re 4% more likely to watch it. 我们发现如果某人上了NBC荧屏 就会多4%的可能观看节目
[00:17] Really?We’re doing this again?After what happened last year? 是吗? 去年弄成那样今年又来这套?
[00:20] ****
[00:20] – Gassy patsy,you can’t eat – Keep the white house white. – 放屁虫 你不能吃 – 让白宫保持白净
[00:25] You know who enters these walk-on contests?Weirdos. 知道谁参加龙套大赛不? 怪胎
[00:28] Read the essays,lemon.It’s not going to kill you. 读读文章吧 Lemon 看看又不会死
[00:30] Oh,really?’cause this one is typed on the inside of a bloody halter top. 是么? 这篇还印在 一件血淋淋的露背胸衣上呢
[00:34] Just pick one.And while you’re at it,which one of these ties do you prefer? 挑一篇看吧 既然来了 看看喜欢那条领带呗?
[00:38] I thought you said a man should never wear pastel unless he’s a black guy on easter. 你不是说除了复活节的黑人 男人绝不能戴粉色系么
[00:41] usually,but I’m going on the today show to talk about avery, 话是这么说 但我要上今日秀谈谈Avery
[00:44] and I need to tone down my natural aura of strength and sexual dominance. 强势和雄风得削弱点儿
[00:48] Which wasn’t going to happen with the tie I was going to wear. 本打算戴上的领带可帮不上忙
[00:52] Oh,my. 哎哟喂
[00:55] So,uh,what is the news with avery? Avery有什么消息?
[00:56] Uh,there isn’t any,and that’s the problem. 没什么消息 这才是问题关键啊
[00:58] The u.n.Is useless,the state department is full of democrats, 联合国无能 国务院全是民主党
[01:02] and as it turns out,amnesty international is nothing but a company that makes and sells candles. 然后国际特赦组织只不过是个 制造销售蜡烛的公司
[01:07] That explains all the vigils.That is a good scam. 难怪喜欢守夜来着 这骗局真绝
[01:10] It’s been a year,and the media have moved on. 都一年了 众媒体已经放弃了
[01:12] Media is a plural noun.Put this tie on. 只有一家媒体才对 戴这条吧
[01:14] I have to find a way to get avery’s story back on the front page. 我得想办法把Avery的事情拉回头版
[01:17] Fortunately,I run a network with a news division, 很幸运 哥管着一家有新闻部门的电视台
[01:20] and I will do whatever it takes to keep avery’s plight in the public eye. 我会尽全力让Avery的遭遇 不淡出公众视线
[01:23] Even… Go and see matt lauer’s band. 就算去看Matt Lauer(The Today Show主持)的 乐队演出也愿意
[01:27] It’s blues rock,lemon. 那是蓝调摇滚啊 Lemon
[01:29] It’s called… Rhythm and news. 名叫…韵律和新闻
[01:36] Lemon,no. Lemon 住手
[01:54] 30 Rock Season 6 Episode 13
[01:59] Sir,I’ve been thinking. 先生 我一直在想
[02:01] I know I’m a big shot now with my suits and a desk lamp that I control, 自己如今虽是西装革履坐办公室的大人物
[02:06] but I just want you to know I will always be a page at heart. 但请你明白 我内心永远是个听差
[02:11] Even if I did just receive a fancy award at my new job. 哪怕刚在新部门领了一份丰厚的奖金
[02:15] On behalf of the mother standards department,i,gaylord felcher, 代表XX监察部 本人Gaylord Felcher
[02:18] present you with the “employee of the week” award. 给你颁发”本周最XX员工奖”
[02:21] Let’s give it up for this bag of. 把这包发给这XX吧
[02:26] So what can I get for you? 您有何吩咐?
[02:28] And hazel’s on it,tracy. Hazel就会去办滴 Tracy
[02:31] Kenneth,can I speak with you? Kenneth 单独谈谈?
[02:32] Can you?You just did. 单独? 你这不就是单独谈么
[02:37] What’s your problem? 你怎么回事?
[02:39] Oh,my,well… My parents were technically brothers- 这…我父母其实是兄弟…
[02:42] Look,I’m trying to do my job here.Tracy’s my responsibility now. 这里是我负责 Tracy现在是我的职责范围
[02:45] I take care of him. 他由我照顾
[02:47] Oh,well,I’m sorry,ms.What’s-her-name, 抱歉 不知名小姐
[02:50] but I’ll always be there for Mr.Jordan. 我会一直陪着Jordan先生
[02:53] He has a special place in my heart. 他在我心占着特殊地位
[02:55] Just like nana parcell,my heartworm. 正如Parcell奶奶 我的心头肉
[03:01] Hey,jack.What are you still doing here?Your segment was bumped. Jack 你还在这干什么? 你的节目被砍了
[03:05] What?Why? 什么? 为什么?
[03:06] You guys doing another hard-hitting expose on how to plan a staycation with your cyber bully? 你们又在利用网上恶言相向 强有力地报道如何宅家?
[03:11] No,it’s real news for once.There was a mine collapse in china. 这次真有新闻 天朝发生一起矿井坍塌
[03:14] Turns out,to keep labor costs down,all the miners there are babies. 为削减劳工成本 那里所有矿工都是娃娃
[03:17] They pay ’em in yogurt. 他们用酸奶当工资
[03:21] God.Remember when we used to be the world leader in baby cuteness? 老天 还记得咱曾经是萌宝的领军不?
[03:25] I can’t compete with that. 这我没法比啊
[03:26] Also,adult dogs can’t fit in the baby mines, 还有 成年狗进不去小矿井
[03:29] so they’re lowering down puppies to bring in supplies. 所以他们换小狗送物资
[03:33] Hey,thanks for coming to see my band last night. 感谢昨晚来我的乐队捧场
[03:35] Yes,I didn’t expect you to play for four hours. 是啊 我可没想到你们唱了4小时
[03:42] Hey,dummies,I need you guys to write a sketch 傻瓜们 给我写个剧本
[03:44] with a non-speaking part for whoever wins this dumb contest. 里面要有获胜者的角色 但没有台词
[03:47] And do not write another sketch about krang from teenage mutant ninja turtles. 别再写关于忍者神龟里Krang的小品了
[03:51] No one knows who krang is.It would be a waste of time to talk about krang on television. 没人知道什么是Krang 在电视上提Krang就是浪费时间
[03:56] No more krang! 不许再有Krang!
[04:04] – Liz? – Krang!What the hell,hazel? – Krang! 你在搞什么 Hazel?
[04:07] Can I ask your advice,woman to woman? 我能向你讨教嘛 女人和女人之间的交流?
[04:09] Are you sure?’cause I took one of those 你确定? 我可是参加了”你是何种八婆”
[04:11] “which gossip girl are you?” quizzes,and it said I was the dad’s guitar. 的小测试 答案却是我是爸爸的吉他
[04:15] Please.You are so amazing. 拜托 你棒极了
[04:17] This place is such a boys’ club,but you boss them around like an amazon warrior queen. 这地方就是个男人的地盘 但你却像个亚马逊族的女皇一样指挥着他们
[04:22] And look at your body.Your rack is like,”pow!” 看看你的身材 样子就好比”来吧”!
[04:26] – hazel,what is the question? – It’s kenneth. – Hazel 你想问啥? – 是关于Kenneth的
[04:29] He’s not a page anymore,but he keeps trying to do my job for me. 他不再是个听差了 但他总是干扰我
[04:33] And when I confronted him about it,he was so condescending. 而我和他对质时 他又很傲慢
[04:36] He laughed at me,and then he undressed me with his eyes. 他嘲笑我 然后用目光除去我的衣服
[04:40] And then he had his way with me.With his eyes. 接着用他的方法对付我 就是他的目光
[04:43] – The male gaze. – Yeah. – 男性凝视目光 – 对
[04:45] They’re all a bunch of gays. 他们应该都是弯的
[04:47] No,kenneth is sweet,but he’s still a man. 不 Kenneth人很好 但他仍然是个男的
[04:50] And in our society,men get praised for just taking whatever they want. 我们所处的世界 男人处心积虑就能得到表扬
[04:55] But what do people call women who are tough and ambitious? 但人们是怎么称呼那些强势又有进取心的女人呢?
[04:57] Leslie or courtney? Leslie或者Courtney?
[04:59] What?No.A bitch. 啥? 不对 答案是贱人
[05:01] Well,you may be at the bottom of the totem pole now,but you’re in the game. 现在 你或许处在等级制度里的底层 但你并没有出局
[05:05] So play it like a man and don’t let anyone try to stop you. 像男人一样去战斗 别让任何人阻止你
[05:08] Just like the karate kid – Hilary swank,karate kid iv. 就像”功夫小子4″里的Hilary Swank一样
[05:14] I want you to be my mentor. 我想让你成为我的导师
[05:16] Julie-san,fighting not good. Julie桑 打架不好
[05:20] But if must fight,win.Kesuke miyagi,karate kid iv. 但如果不得不战 一定要赢
[05:24] I accept! Kesuke Miyagi 我接受你了!
[05:28] You listen to me,blitzer. 你听好了 Blitzer
[05:29] Either cnn gets back on the avery jessup story, 要么CNN能重提Avery Jessup的遭遇
[05:32] or I’ll tell everyone your real name,steel hammerhands. 否则我就告诉所有人你的真名Steel Hammerhands
[05:36] Hello?Steel?Mr. Hammerhands? 喂? Steel? Hammerhands?
[05:42] Jack.I have an important actor request. Jack 我提一个很重要的演员申请
[05:44] This is not really a good time,jenna. 现在不是时候 Jenna
[05:46] I want you to hire a giant to stand in the background 我想让你雇一个巨人站在背景里
[05:48] of every scene I’m in to make me look daintier. 这样每一个镜头我都会显得很精致
[05:50] It works.It’s why lamar odom married that giant kardashian girl. 会有效果的 就好比Lamar Odom 娶了那个女巨人Kardashian
[05:53] I run a tv network,and I still can’t get my wife’s story on the air. 我掌管一个电视台 但我却不能播放我老婆的遭遇
[05:59] The world may have forgotten about avery,but I haven’t. 世界或许已经遗忘了Avery 但我没有
[06:03] Sometimes at night,I sit here in the dark,drinking scotch,staring at that doorway, 在夜晚 有时候我会在黑暗中 喝着威士忌 凝视着门口
[06:08] hoping against hope that she’ll walk as if nothing ever happened. 希望她出现 就像没事发生过一样
[06:12] “i’m home,jack. “我回来了 Jack
[06:14] And I brought back a bunch of oriental sex powders. 还带回来一些东方春药”
[06:17] ” I know how you can get avery back on television. 我知道怎样才能让Avery上电视
[06:20] Her story has everything! 她的故事很有内容!
[06:22] Blondeness,kidnapping,a villain with an accent. 是个金发 被绑架 一个有口音的坏人
[06:25] It’s the perfect tv movie.I should know. 是最佳的电影题材 我了解的
[06:28] I played italian party whore in the amanda knox story. 我在”Amanda Knox的遭遇”里 演过一个意大利派对妓女
[06:31] A tv movie-jenna,I don’t want to trivialize this ordeal. Jenna 我不想让电影把这段苦难淡化了
[06:34] But those movies get results. 但是很有效
[06:36] Every kidnapped woman I’ve ever played has been released. 每一个我演的被俘女人都被释放了
[06:38] Well,it would allow me to control the story. 那我要操手运作了
[06:41] Well,you better hurry,jack.Oxygen is already working on a movie about the baby miners. 那你得抓紧了 Jack Oxygen频道已经开始筹划婴儿矿工电影了
[06:45] Then we’ll have to slow them down. 咱得拖住他们
[06:46] Gabriel… Send a bunch of pies to the oxygen network. 给Oxygen送几个大馅饼过去
[06:56] Excuse me,ms.What’s-her-name.What’s that? 我说 不知名女士 那是个啥?
[06:58] Not that it’s any of your business,but tracy’s jaw is tired from pretending to be pac-man. 与你无关 Tracy装吃豆人 装得腮帮子疼
[07:04] So I’m making it easier for him to eat. 这样好让他吃东西少费劲
[07:07] No!No! 不!
[07:09] He can’t eat that junk.He just got his cholesterol down to triple digits. 他可不能吃这破东西 胆固醇刚降回三位数
[07:13] Get off my ass,parcell.I’m doing my job. 滚开 Parcell 姐工作呢
[07:17] You think you can push me around just because you have a penis? 怎的 长个小JJ了不起啊?
[07:20] I definitely have a penis. 那个哥绝对有
[07:21] You think I’m some delicate little girl who’ll do whatever you say? 你以为姐弱不禁风 你说啥就听啥哇?
[07:25] Well,I’m not delicate.I’ve been in tons of car wrecks. 我可不弱 姐撞车都撞了好几回了
[07:29] Hazel,I just peed this.Could you take care of it for me? Hazel 我刚尿在这玩意上了 帮我照看一下好咩?
[07:32] Sir!I am resuming responsibility for your care. 先生! 我要恢复原职
[07:36] You are in dire need of a getting-your-act-together montage. 你严重需要恢复本色
[07:41] * down so low,don’t know what up is * *消沉的厉害 起呀起不来*
[07:44] I’m sorry,tracy.You wanna be bossed around by this trailer park hitler? 抱歉 Tracy 你想被个冒牌小胡子呼来喝去?
[07:49] Or do you wanna do whatever you want with a sexy,fun bitch who just bought you a pinata? 还是有个性感的搞乐小妞陪着 她给你买彩罐 想干嘛就干嘛?
[07:55] Awesome! 好得很!
[08:04] Ms.Lemon,do you have a moment or are you busy regretting your life choices, Lemon女士 您是闲着呢
[08:08] for example,missing your window for having children? 还是忙着吃后悔药 比方说错过了生孩子?
[08:10] Get to the point,kenneth. 有话直说 Kenneth
[08:12] It’s hazel.I’m trying to help her,but she’s gone crazy. 都怪Hazel 我想帮她 结果她却越发人来疯
[08:16] You can’t handle the fact that a woman is doing your old job.What a world. 来个女人干你干的活儿 你受不了是吧 这是什么世道
[08:20] I bet even hillary clinton has to put up with this crap 想必Hillary Clinton 也得忍受
[08:23] from whoever was secretary of state before her. 前任国务卿的这些屁话
[08:25] – You mean condoleezza – Shut up. – 你是说赖斯女士嘛 – 闭嘴
[08:26] Look,I believe in hazel.I happen to be her mentor. 听着 我相信Hazel 我还是她导师呢
[08:29] So to quote Mr.Miyagi,”leave girl alone or you deal with me,surf shop owner.” 引用Miyagi一句 “别去烦那姑娘 要么就来找老娘我”
[08:36] Hey,sweetie.How was your day? 嗨 亲 怎样啊?
[08:38] Not even half over,hazel. 还早着呢 Hazel
[08:41] I still have to read all these essays. 还得把这些文章读完
[08:43] – Okay. – Look at you. – 好吧 – 瞧瞧你
[08:45] You’re a whirlwind – In charge in the board room… And the bedroom. 叱咤风云 运筹帷幄 公司 男人都搞定
[08:49] Sure. 是哈
[08:50] You’re a modern,dtf type woman whose whole vibe says,”yeah! 时髦又性感的现代女性 气场十足 仿佛在呐喊
[08:55] Dig sex and I’m not gonna apologize for it. “没错 我喜欢爱爱 没啥不好的”
[08:58] ” Okay,here’s a little bedroom tip. 好 给你个枕边小贴士
[09:01] Put a bag of popcorn in the microwave beforehand. 嘿咻之前往微波炉里放包爆米花
[09:04] That way,when you’re done,you have a treat. 完事儿就有好吃的啦
[09:07] I wish I had your emotional intelligence. 我要有你这情商就好了
[09:10] My boyfriend razmig and I have hit a little rough patch. 我男友Razmig跟我出了点小问题
[09:14] Okay.Lay it on me. 跟我说说
[09:17] Well,I went home this afternoon to get some, 下午我回家想小亲热一下
[09:20] and I found razmig banging the fattest chick I’ve ever seen. 结果发现Razmig跟个胖妞乱搞 还从没见过这么胖的
[09:24] And you know,I used to weigh 800 pounds. 以前我怎么着也有800磅
[09:27] Stop right there.You didn’t hit a rough patch. 打住 你这可不是小问题
[09:29] He cheated on you.You have to dump him immediately. 他背着你乱搞 应该马上踢了他
[09:32] What?How can you say that? 怎么能这么说?
[09:34] Hazel,i’m trying to help you. Hazel 我可是想帮你
[09:35] By asking me to break up with the man I love? 那就让我跟我爱的人分手?
[09:37] Helping me would be teaching me how to spice things up. 帮我俩升个温啥的才叫帮我
[09:40] Like by greeting him at the front door wearing nothing but false teeth. 比如在门口迎接他 啥也不穿 只戴副假牙
[09:45] I’m very disappointed in your mentorship,liz. 我对你这个导师很失望 Liz
[09:47] If this were two years ago,I would sit on you till you died. 要换做两年前 老娘非活生生坐死你
[09:55] *** 选角 不要假发
[09:56] No wigs. 选角 不要假发
[09:57] I said no wigs. 都说了不要假发
[10:00] You’re not a lead,gabe.At best,you’re a featured extra with no lines. Gabe 你不是主角 撑死演个没台词的路人甲
[10:04] Do you understand? 懂了没?
[10:06] Hey,gabe. 嘿 Gabe
[10:09] Lemon,would you be interested in writing the screenplay for the greatest love story ever told? Lemon 有没兴趣来写 有史以来最伟大爱情故事剧本?
[10:13] You mean lois lane’s love affair with journalism?I said it. Lois Lane和记者的爱恨纠葛? 我就说了怎么着 (超人和女记者)
[10:17] Avery and me. 我是说Avery和我
[10:18] I’m producing a television movie to get her back in the headlines. 我要制作一部电视电影 让她重登头条
[10:21] For obvious reasons,i’m fast-tracking the project. 显然 我需要赶进度
[10:24] The script is due on monday. 剧本周一得交
[10:25] Monday?I guess I won’t be able to go to the gym this weekend. 周一? 看来我这周末没法去健身啦
[10:28] I know it’s short notice,but I would consider it a personal favor 我知道这很突然 但你就看在我的面子上
[10:31] after six years of listening to you complain about how there are so few women on death row. 想想我听你抱怨了6年 为啥被判死刑的女人这么少
[10:35] Is a coincidence,or is the system sexist? 只是巧合? 还是制度有性别歧视呢?
[10:38] Speaking of our amazing dynamic,I have taken on a mentee of my own,jack – A page named hazel. 说到我们间的火花 我也收了个徒弟 一个叫Hazel的听差
[10:44] You’re a mentor?But that makes me a grand-mentor. 你成导师了? 但这样我就成曾导师了
[10:47] And I’m still so young. 可我还年轻啊
[10:48] Don’t worry.I already messed it up. 别担心 我已经搞砸了
[10:50] I told her to break up with her awful boyfriend and she got really mad at me. 我叫她和她�潘磕杏逊质� 她超气
[10:54] Often,the best way for a mentee to learn is for you to let her fail. 通常要让徒弟有长进 你得让她吃苦头
[10:57] Wait,does that mean you’ve done that to me?When? 等等 意思是你以前也对我干过? 啥时候?
[11:00] I think the crowd at the apollo might welcome a change of pace. 我想阿波罗剧院的观众会欢迎 一些改变的 (著名的黑人剧院)
[11:03] You’re right.You should do it. 说得对 快去吧
[11:06] Sometimes,they have to learn the hard way. 不经历风雨怎能见彩虹
[11:07] If hazel rejects your advice,let her. 如果Hazel拒绝了你的建议 随她去吧
[11:09] She’ll get there on her own 她自己会明白的
[11:11] just like you did after the crowd at the apollo chased you into the river. 像上次你被阿波罗剧院的观众 追到河里去之后
[11:14] Okay,I understand the irony of what I’m about to say,but I reject that advice. 我意识到接下来的话有多讽刺 不过我拒绝你的建议
[11:20] Don’t worry,I’ll bring you back a t-shirt from successtown. 别担心 我会从”成功镇”给你带纪念衫的
[11:23] My groin! 我的腹股沟!
[11:27] – Mr.Jordan!- K-dog.You were wrong. – Jordan先生! – K宝 你错了
[11:30] They do still make crossbows. 弩还有的卖的
[11:32] You let him buy a crossbow?And a motorcycle? 你让他买了只弩? 还有摩托车?
[11:36] No,kenneth,I let him buy a motorcycle ramp and no motorcycle! 不 Kenneth 我只让他买了摩托车斜坡 没买摩托车
[11:45] Can I help you?Tracy’s very tired.He didn’t sleep last night. 有啥能帮你的? Tracy很困了 昨晚一晚没睡
[11:48] Why not?If he doesn’t get at least 14 hours a night,he starts to go crazy. 为啥? 他一天没睡足14小时会疯的
[11:53] We on a show within a show!My real name is tracy morgan! 我们都活在戏中戏里! 我的真名叫Tracy Morgan!
[11:56] Well,tracy wanted to go clubbing. Tracy要去夜店啦
[11:58] And I don’t know if you know this,kenneth,but night clubs are open at night. 不知道你知不知道 Kenneth 夜店是在夜里开的哦
[12:02] You didn’t let him drink,did you? 你没有让他喝酒吧?
[12:04] Mr.Jordan can’t mix alcohol with his medication. Jordan先生的药不能和酒混用
[12:07] I’m not an idiot,kenneth.I took him off his medication. 我又不是傻瓜 我把他药停了
[12:10] You what?Why are you doing this? 什么? 你为什么?
[12:12] Because liz told me to. LIz叫我干的
[12:15] Having access to tracy is an opportunity,and I’m taking advantage of it. 和Tracy接触是我的机会 我得利用起来
[12:19] Did you see page six today? 看到今天的第六版了吗(八卦娱乐版)?
[12:21] Those are my toes he’s sucking on. 他吸的是我的脚趾哦
[12:23] ******* Tracy Jordan城中”脚战”
[12:24] And he did not want to. 还不是自愿的
[12:36] Jack!
[12:39] What the hell is this? 你什么意思?
[12:42] Where did you get that? 你从哪搞来的?
[12:43] Donna from casting and I are friends. 选角部门的Donna是我朋友
[12:45] Well,not so much friends as I own a magnet that can scramble her pacemaker. 也不尽然 我有块磁铁 可以扰乱她的心脏起搏器
[12:48] Jenna,you are not playing avery. Jenna 不会让你演Avery的
[12:50] Why not?This movie was my idea! 为啥? 这电影的点子是我出的!
[12:52] I appreciate that.You can play a korean party whore. 这我感激不尽 可以让你演个棒子夜店放荡女
[12:57] I just don’t think you can capture avery’s essence. 你没法抓住Avery的灵魂(essence)
[12:59] That’s ridiculous.I posed bottomless in essence. 搞笑呢 我可是在Essence杂志全裸出境的
[13:03] Jenna,avery is worldly.Traveled.She went to yale. Avery干练老道又见过世面 还在耶鲁上的学
[13:07] Oh,I see.You think I’m stupid, 懂了 你嫌我笨
[13:10] just because my college got tipped over by those miami heat fans. 就因为我大学被热火队球迷给砸了? (热火队球迷出了名的 “热情”)
[13:13] I didn’t say stupid.Jenna,there are many kinds of intelligence. 我没说你笨 聪明有很多种
[13:16] Practical,emotional,and there’s actual intelligence,which is what I’m talking about. 实用型的 情感型的 还有我正在说的真正的智商
[13:21] I want this part,jack.It’s a guaranteed emmy nomination. 我要这角色 Jack 这是个艾美提名直通车
[13:25] I’m sorry.I’ve made up my mind. 抱歉 我已经做决定了
[13:28] Very well. 好吧
[13:30] But let me ask you this,jack. 那我这样问你 Jack
[13:32] Would a dumb person be able to think of something amazing to say as she leaves? 一个笨蛋在临走前能说出厉害的话吗?
[13:42] Liz,we have a show in four hours.Have you still not picked a contest winner? Liz 还有4小时就直播了 你选出比赛赢家没?
[13:47] Fine,i’ll just pick one at random. 那我随便选个好了
[13:49] It’s joren van der sloot.
[13:51] We can’t fly someone from peru now.There’s no time. 哪有时间从秘鲁空运个人来啊
[13:56] Oh,hazel,we need to talk. 噢 Hazel 我得和你谈谈
[13:57] I’m busy,liz.Tracy wants me to page from in las vegas this weekend. 忙着勒 Tracy要我这周末去拉斯维加斯工作
[14:01] Is this dress appropriate for watching pornography with penn jillette? 和(魔术师)Penn Jillette看A片 穿这裙子还合适吧?
[14:04] Okay,normally we don’t encourage tracy to go to vegas, 通常我们不建议Tracy去拉斯维加斯
[14:07] because of his gambling addiction and his fear of magic. 因为他有赌瘾 以及魔术恐惧症
[14:10] But maybe a weekend away from razmig is a good thing. 不过你离开Razmig一个周末也是好事
[14:13] No.Razmig’s coming with me. 不 Razmig和我一起去
[14:15] What?Who is this,hah-zel? 啥? 这是谁 Hah-zel?
[14:16] I no permit you talk other woman. 我不准你和其他女人讲话
[14:18] Okay,I’m putting my foot down. 好吧 最后的忠告
[14:20] This guy is no good for you and I order you,as your mentor,to dump him. 你跟这个家伙没好下场 我以你导师的名义命令你 甩了他
[14:24] You don’t know what you’re talking about,liz. 你开始胡言乱语了 Liz
[14:26] Razmig is amazing.He makes me laugh. Razmig很好的 他总能让我笑
[14:29] Oh,where is toilet pail?Razmig must make mud. 茅房在哪里? Razmig要拉臭臭了
[14:34] Razmig!
[14:35] – Hazel,no.I’m not letting you – Let her fail,liz. – Hazel 我不能任由你… – 让她摔跟头去吧 Liz
[14:38] Let her get there on her own. 让她自己去折腾吧
[14:41] You know what,fine.You’re right,I’m wrong.Go,be with razmig. 好吧 你是对的 我错了 去和Razmig好吧
[14:46] Thank you,liz.It takes a big woman to admit she’s wrong. 谢谢你 Liz 能承认错误的女子才是大女子
[14:51] You are a big woman.You have pictures?Fat nudes? 你是个大女子? 你有照片么? 丰满果照?
[15:02] I need your help,ms.Maroney. 我需要你的帮助 Maroney小姐
[15:04] Absolutely. 没问题
[15:06] Oh,I thought you were someone famous. 哦 我以为你是哪个名人呢
[15:08] You sound a lot like reese witherspoon.What do you want? 你的声音像Rreese Witherspoon 你要干嘛?
[15:11] I’m afraid if Mr.Jordan goes to las vegas this weekend,he’s gonna die. 我害怕如果这周末Jordan去了维加斯 他的性命会不保
[15:15] I’m not hearing my name,kenneth. 我没听到我的名字 Kenneth
[15:17] – So I thought you – Oh,thank god.That took forever. – 所以 我觉得你- – 哦 谢天谢地 等了我一世纪
[15:20] I thought you could teach me how to get around hazel. 我觉得你可以教我 怎么躲开Hazel
[15:24] If I could just get one minute alone with Mr.Jordan- 我只需和Jordan先生独处一分钟-
[15:27] You can convince him he’s wrong.Yes! 你就可以让他知道 他错了 哦也!
[15:30] But how do you get his attention? 但是你怎样博得他的注意呢?
[15:33] All the world’s a stage,kenneth.Just play the part. 世界是个大舞台 Kenneth 演好你自己的角色
[15:38] Play the part? 演好自己的角色?
[15:42] ************** 参加比赛的幸运观众参与演出
[15:48] ********
[15:50] Ms. Lemon.If it’s not too late, Lemon 如果不算太迟的话
[15:52] I would like the essay contest to win a role on tgs with tracy jordan. 我想参加征文大赛 以获取和Tracy Jordan在TGS同台的机会
[15:57] No,kenneth,you can’t enter.The contest isn’t open to nbc employees. 不行 Kenneth 你不能参加 这个比赛不对NBC雇员开放
[16:00] I know,ma’am-maw. 我知道 大姐
[16:02] Which is why I just quit my job at standards and practices. 所以我刚刚辞去了标准服务部的工作
[16:06] I may hate you right now,you little,but damn it I respect you. 我现在也许会贼-哔-恨你 你个小-哔- 但是我贼-哔-尊重你的意愿
[16:11] Kenneth,you know this is just to be a non-speaking extra,right? Kenneth 你知道这只是个没台词的配角的吧?
[16:14] I know.But have you ever loved something so much 我知道 但是你难道没有过为爱牺牲一切的时候吗
[16:18] that you would sacrifice anything for it?
[16:21] Nope.But you know what,this is perfect. 没有 但是这样正好
[16:23] Because then I don’t have to pick some crazy person, 我就不用在那些疯子里面选人了
[16:26] and I know you won’t do anything weird on the air. 我知道直播的时候你不会出什么状况的
[16:28] – I’m kenneth! – Get to wardrobe,contest winner! – 我是Kenneth呀! – 快去更衣室 竞赛获奖者!
[16:32] This is gonna be a great show. 这将是一集碉堡了的节目
[16:40] – Hello? – Hi,it’s charles from the u.n. – 喂? – 你好 我是联合国的Charles
[16:43] We found your wife and I dropped her off at the office. 我们找到了你夫人 我把她送到了你的办公室
[16:46] She should be there right about now. 她现在应该马上到了
[16:51] Jack,it’s me.I’m home. Jack 是我 我回来了
[16:54] – No,you’re not my wife. – How could you say that,darling? – 不 你不是我妻子 – 你怎么能这么说呢 亲爱的?
[16:58] – I’m avery jesbert. – Jenna? – 我是Avery Jesbert
[17:00] No,don’t turn on the light. 不 别开灯
[17:03] Surprised? 惊喜吗?
[17:04] Let’s set aside how idiotic that plan was, 先不说你这计划有多傻缺
[17:08] and imagine a world where it actually worked. 就当有这么个平行世界 而你这主意真的把我糊弄过去了
[17:11] I appreciate your feedback. 很感谢您的好评
[17:12] If I had believed you for one second,I would’ve been devastated,heartbroken! 如果我有那么一秒钟真的信了 我整个人就废了 心都碎了!
[17:16] You wanna talk about devastation? 你跟我谈什么叫废了?
[17:18] How do you think I felt when you told me I couldn’t play avery? 你觉得你告诉我 我不能演Avery的时候 我是什么感受?
[17:21] You are a monster.What you have done here today,it’s-it’s… 你这个坏人 你今天的所作所为…
[17:26] The second cruelest thing that anyone has ever done to me. 是别人对我做过的第二残忍的事情
[17:29] Do you know what the cruelest is? 想知道最残忍的那件事是什么吗?
[17:31] When I went to the bathroom on the hood of your car before I thought of this plan? 在我想到这个计划之前 我在你的车引擎盖上尿了一泡??
[17:33] Avery had me committed to a mental hospital Avery把我送进了精神病院
[17:35] so she and her college roommate could use my yankee tickets on opening day. 这样她和她的大学室友 就可以用我的扬基队球票了
[17:38] That’s a nice story,jack,but I don’t hear my name in it. 故事讲的不错 Jack 但是我没听到我的名字
[17:42] – You – Finally. – 你 – 终于
[17:44] You may not have avery’s grace and acumen, 你可能没有Avery的优雅和敏锐
[17:47] but you do have the one thing that makes her so special- 但你确实有她的一个特质
[17:50] Her ruthless pursuit of self-interest. 她对个人利益无所顾忌的追求
[17:53] It’s the heart of capitalism. 这是资本主义的核心
[17:55] And the beautiful black heart of my wife. 也是我妻子美丽的黑心
[17:59] Jenna,you have avery’s essence.Congratulations. Jenna你有Avery的精髓 恭喜
[18:04] The part is yours. 这个角色是你的了
[18:06] You won’t regret this.We’re gonna get her home,jack. 你不会后悔的 我们会把她救回家的 Jack
[18:10] Now if you’ll excuse me,I have a female condom to take out. 现在我得失陪了 我有个女性避孕套得拿出来
[18:13] Unless… Going once… 除非…来一次…
[18:17] Four,three- 四 三…
[18:22] Ladies and gentlemen,a message from the president of the united states. 女士们先生们 来自美国总统的一条消息
[18:26] Goo-goo,ga-ga,my fellow ah-meh-ri-cans. 咕咕嘎嘎 我的米国人民
[18:30] Okay,he’s never been worse. 他这次真是史无前例得糟
[18:33] – Is kenneth supposed to enter? – I love you,sir. – 这里该Kenneth上场吗? – 我爱你 先生
[18:36] – Ken,where have you been? – Damn it. – Ken 你跑哪儿去了? – 坏了
[18:38] I’ve been here all along.I never left.And I never will. 我一直都在这儿 我没离开过 也不会离开
[18:41] – Go to commercial. – They told us we can’t do that any more. – 切广告 – 这招再也行不通了
[18:44] – What? – I quit my job to be here,Mr.Jordan. – 什么? – 我把工作辞了过来的 Jordan先生
[18:47] It was the only way I could get around hazel. 这是我唯一可以避开Hazel的方法
[18:49] You quit your job for me? 你为了我辞职了?
[18:51] I’m not just gonna sit by and watch you destroy yourself. 我不会袖手旁观 让你毁掉自己
[18:55] ’cause I would do anything for love,but I won’t do that. 因为我为了爱什么都愿意做 但我不会做的
[19:00] The girl in that video was hot in an early ’90s kind of way. 那视频里的姑娘 用90年代初的标准看还挺辣的
[19:06] Now… Take your medicine. 现在…吃药
[19:10] This has been a message from the president of the united states. 以上是来自美国总统的一条消息
[19:16] Tough night? 难熬的一晚?
[19:18] Come on,lemon.The show was all right. 拜托 Lemon 节目还行了
[19:20] What about the sketch with the guy who was worried about his sexual performance? 某男子担心自己床上表现那个小品 不错吧?
[19:23] That was a real commercial for an erectile dysfunction drug. 那个是真的治疗阳痿的药物广告 不是小品
[19:26] Well,I laughed.So,uh,how did things shake out with hazel? 反正我笑了 Hazel的事怎么样了?
[19:30] Not great.My way,which is still the right way,didn’t work. 不怎么样 我的方法虽然是正确的方法 但不奏效
[19:33] So just to see,I did your thing. 所以为了试试看 我用了你的方法
[19:35] Good.You let her fail. 很好 你让她吃亏
[19:37] That’s how the banking industry learned its lesson. 银行业就是这样学乖的
[19:40] And now they’re doing amazing,and everyone’s honest. 现在他们好极了 每个人都很诚实
[19:43] – Your thing didn’t work either. – Are you sure? – 你的方法也没奏效 – 你确定?
[19:52] Mentoring is not an exact science. 当导师不是一门精确的科学
[19:56] Why aren’t there more female serial killers? 为什么连环杀手里没有更多女的?
[19:58] – What does that say about our society – Liz! – 这体现了我们这个社会的什么…
[20:00] Oh,here she is.She’s here. 哦 她来了 在这儿呢
[20:03] Liz,I was watching the show fall apart while razmig gave me a prison tattoo of his face, Liz 我看到节目演砸了 Razmig当时想用自制工具把他的脸纹到我身上
[20:08] and I heard your voice.I finally heard everything you said to me. 我听到了你的声音 我终于听懂了你对我说的一切
[20:12] “hazel,you’re a beautiful flower.”let yourself bloom. “Hazel你是朵美丽的花 绽放吧”
[20:16] “what are you doing this weekend,hazel?Are there still bath houses?Let’s go to one! “你这周末打算干什么 Hazel? 还有澡堂开着吗? 咱们去吧!”
[20:20] – ” I never said any of that,but – you were right all along. – 这些我都没说过 但是… – 你一直都是对的
[20:23] You knew I was making the wrong choices.But you let me fail. 你知道我做了错的选择 但你让我吃次亏
[20:27] With razmig,with tracy. Razmig的亏 Tracy的亏
[20:29] Yes,I was definitely on top of that tracy thing. 是的 我完全是故意导演了Tracy那出
[20:31] You were teaching me the whole time,and all the while lighting a fire with that hot ass. 你一直都在教导我 一直用那火辣的屁屁点亮明火
[20:36] I’m… Jack. 我是… Jack
[20:39] I’m your grand-mentor.liz? 我是你的导师爷
[20:43] She’s beautiful. 她很美
[20:52] This next lady is white haven,pennsylvania.Okay! 下一位姑娘来自宾州White Haven哟!
[20:55] Please welcome to the stage leminem! 有请Leminem!
[21:02] * ahhh,do the sprinkler * * 啊哦 单腿转圈 *
[21:05] * do the sprinkler do the sprinkler * * 单腿转圈 单腿转圈 *
[21:08] * do the sprinkler * * 单腿转圈 *
[21:09] * here we go,here we go * * 咱来呀 咱来呀 *
[21:12] * white haven,p.a.,apollo theater * * 宾州White Haven 阿波罗剧场 *
[21:14] * come together * * 相聚一堂 *
[21:15] * have you ever thought about the women of the world * * 你有没有想过世界上的女人 *
[21:18] * teen moms,grandmoms,even little girls * * 少女妈妈 姥姥奶奶 甚至小女孩 *
[21:22] go,white haven! 一起加油 White Haven!
[21:27] 30 Rock Season 6 Episode 13
我为喜剧狂

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