时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:51] | And finished. | 读完了 |
[00:52] | How is it? | 怎么样? |
[00:53] | No, don’t tell me. | 不 别告诉我 |
[00:55] | Yeah, okay, tell me. | 好了 说吧 |
[00:56] | No, don’t. | 不 别说 |
[00:58] | Yes, tell me. No. | 说吧 别说 |
[01:00] | Oh, God. Wait. | 天呐 等一下 |
[01:03] | I thought you threw your Valivan out? | 你不是把特效安定都扔了吗? |
[01:06] | Found these in the couch. | 从沙发缝找到的 |
[01:07] | Well, you should consider yourself lucky. | 你应该觉得自己很幸运 |
[01:10] | All Nick did was write a tell-all book. | 尼克只是写了一本私生活的书 |
[01:13] | Most husbands, the first thing they do when they get out of prison | 大多数丈夫出狱的第一件事就是 |
[01:16] | is murder their ex-wives. | 谋杀前妻 |
[01:18] | It’s mostly about prison | 这本书主要写了监狱生活 |
[01:20] | and his relationship with that guy Tortilla Chip. | 和一个叫玉米饼的家伙的感情 |
[01:24] | -Blowtorch. -Right. | -焰枪 -对 |
[01:25] | Of course, there is a Grace chapter. | 确实有写格蕾丝的章节 |
[01:28] | Oh, God, I’m gonna throw up. | 天呐 我要吐了 |
[01:31] | But I can’t waste the pills. | 但我不能浪费药片 |
[01:33] | No, you come off really well. | 不 你在里面的形象很好 |
[01:34] | In fact, you come off much better in this book | 事实上 你在这本书里的形象 |
[01:37] | than you do in my book about you, | 要比在我的书中好得多 |
[01:39] | which is more of a complex portrait of a difficult woman. | 我的书里 你是一个很难相处的复杂形象 |
[01:43] | Can we deal with Nick’s book first? | 能不能先说尼克的书? |
[01:45] | So there’s nothing that could embarrass me? | 那里面没有让我难堪的内容? |
[01:47] | No. | 没有 |
[01:48] | Nothing that will horrify me or irritate me? | 没有什么能让我害怕 或者让我生气的内容? |
[01:51] | Well, there is one sentence that does strike the reader. | 的确有一句话让读者印象深刻 |
[01:55] | Just tell me the damn sentence, Frankie. | 赶紧告诉我那句话 弗兰基 |
[01:57] | At the end of the Grace chapter… | 在讲述格蕾丝的章节最后… |
[02:00] | which has a lot to recommend it, | 这一章很精彩 |
[02:02] | Nick says, | 尼克写道: |
[02:03] | “Ultimately, my relationship with Grace | “最后 我和格蕾丝的关系 |
[02:07] | was the one mistake I wish I hadn’t made.” | 是唯一一个 我希望自己没有犯下的错误” |
[02:13] | Ouch. | |
[02:14] | Yeah. | 没错 |
[02:16] | I wasn’t expecting that. | 这我真没想到 |
[02:18] | But it can’t be true. | 但这不可能 |
[02:20] | Why would he say that? | 他为什么会这么说? |
[02:22] | Well, dramatically, it does work. | 这样的确有戏剧性效果 |
[02:24] | Oh, great. | 那真棒呢 |
[02:27] | You said the chapter had a lot to recommend it? | 你说这一章很精彩? |
[02:29] | Oh, Grace, | 噢 格蕾丝 |
[02:30] | the sex in it is amazing. | 性生活描写得非常精彩 |
[02:32] | He wrote about our sex life? | 他写了我们的性生活? |
[02:34] | Yes. | 是的 |
[02:36] | I thought you said there was nothing to embarrass me. | 你不是说里面没有 会让我尴尬的内容吗? |
[02:38] | There isn’t. | 不尴尬 |
[02:39] | You come off like someone who’s very, very good at sex. | 你在书里是一个活儿很好的人 |
[02:43] | And it’s hard to write about that, but he does it really well. | 尺度很难把握 但他处理得很好 |
[02:47] | That can’t be Nick. | 那不可能是尼克写的 |
[02:48] | He must have a ghostwriter. | 他肯定有个代笔人 |
[02:50] | Well, whoever wrote it knows how to get a lady going. | 不管是谁写的 这人知道如何让女人性奋 |
[02:53] | The part when you and Nick have sex for the last time? | 你和尼克最后一次性生活那一部分? |
[02:57] | I need two scoops of that before I check out. | 在我大限之前我可得尝尝滋味 |
[03:00] | Frankie, I told you I kept getting whacked by his ankle monitor. | 弗兰基 我跟你说过 我一直被他的脚踝监视器打 |
[03:03] | The sex that night was terrible. | 那一晚简直糟糕透顶 |
[03:05] | I’m serious, Grace. | 我说真的呢 格蕾丝 |
[03:07] | I need to experience intimate human touch | 我需要最后一次体验 |
[03:12] | one last time. | 亲密的人类接触 |
[03:16] | Are you free tonight? | 你今晚有空吗? (今晚开放麦) |
[03:22] | So my wife claims she’s allergic to my semen. | 我妻子说她对我的精液过敏 真的 |
[03:27] | -I’m serious. | |
[03:29] | Takes two Benadryl before oral sex. | 口交前得吃两片抗过敏药 |
[03:31] | And it works. | 还挺管用 |
[03:32] | She falls asleep every time. | 她每次都直接睡着 |
[03:34] | But then we got pregnant | 但之后她怀孕了 |
[03:35] | and baby came out good and everything. | 宝宝也顺利出生什么的 |
[03:37] | So I’m not buying her sperm allergen theory. | 所以我不信她那套过敏说辞 |
[03:42] | I’m starting to think what she’s actually allergic to is blow jobs. | 我开始觉得她只是对吹箫这件事过敏 |
[03:45] | And… | 但是… |
[03:47] | …who can blame her? Nasty business, that. | 谁能怪她呢?这活不好干啊 |
[03:51] | -Oh! | |
[03:54] | Oh, my God, my wife is actually calling right now. | 天呐 是我妻子打来的 |
[03:57] | And she thinks I’m at the gym, | 她还以为我在健身房 |
[03:59] | so if everybody can just shut up real quick? | 各位能不能赶紧闭上嘴? |
[04:04] | Thank you very much, everybody. I’m Bud. Have a good night. | 感谢各位 我是巴德 祝各位今晚愉快 |
[04:08] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
[04:10] | Dude. I can’t believe it, | 哥们 我真不敢相信 |
[04:12] | but you’re, like, super fucking good at this. | 你真的太擅长做这个了 |
[04:15] | -Amazing, man. -Thanks. | -厉害啊 兄弟 -谢谢 |
[04:16] | -But we gotta get the hell out of here. -No, no, no. | -但我们得赶紧走了 -别啊… |
[04:19] | Mingle with your fans. | 和你的粉丝交流交流 |
[04:21] | The lady sitting next to me, she almost fell out of her chair. | 坐在我旁边的那女人 笑得差点从椅子上掉下来 |
[04:25] | Thank you very much. | 多谢了 |
[04:27] | I wasn’t joking about Allison thinking I’m at the gym, and I went on late, | 艾莉森以为我在健身房这事 我没开玩笑 这么晚我还没回去 |
[04:30] | so I’m sure she’s wondering where the hell I am. | 我敢肯定她在想我跑哪儿鬼混了 |
[04:33] | Why does your wife think you’re at the gym? | 你老婆为什么以为你在健身房? |
[04:36] | If she finds out I’m doing stand-up, she’ll kill me. | 如果她发现我在做脱口秀 她会杀死我的 |
[04:39] | She thinks I’m happy being the funny lawyer at the office. | 她以为我喜欢在办公室里当滑稽律师 |
[04:42] | It is tricky, careful work lying to the women who love us. | 对爱我们的女人撒谎 是一件棘手而细致的工作 |
[04:47] | I’m totally here to cover for you should the need arise. | 如果需要的话 我完全可以为你打掩护 |
[04:50] | Well, it’s arisen. | 我太需要了 |
[04:52] | I also told her you’re my trainer. | 我还告诉她你是我的教练 |
[04:55] | What? Why? | 什么?为什么? |
[04:56] | -Make it more believable. -Believable? | -让这件事更可信一些 -更可信? |
[04:58] | No, everybody knows I am an excellent motivator | 人人都知道我很会激励别人 |
[05:02] | and in impeccable shape. | 而且身材无可挑剔 |
[05:03] | And you are not. | 而你不是 |
[05:07] | What are the results? | 你想达成什么目标? |
[05:08] | Are you bulking? Are you cutting? | 你是在增肌还是在减肥? |
[05:10] | -Like, what are you even doing right now? -I’m lying to my wife. You’re gonna help. | -而且你现在到底是在干什么? -我在向我老婆撒谎 你得帮我 |
[05:14] | You have a workout with her tomorrow at 9:15. | 明天9点15你要和她一起锻炼 |
[05:17] | Come on. | 走了 |
[05:23] | Hi, Jacob. | 嗨 雅各布 |
[05:24] | Maybe this sounds weird, | 也许这听起来很奇怪 |
[05:25] | or maybe it’s weird that it’s not weird, but it’s probably weird. | 或者奇怪得让人并不觉得奇怪 但可能就是很奇怪 |
[05:28] | Are you still living in Santa Fe? | 你还住在圣达菲吗? |
[05:31] | ‘Cause I’m sort of looking for one last roll in the hay, | 因为我希望最后来一次激情夜晚 |
[05:34] | and as I recall, you were always a lover with extraordinary gifts. | 在我印象里 你一直是一个功夫了得的床伴 |
[05:40] | I’m sorry, I have who here? | 不好意思 你是谁? |
[05:43] | Ask me what I’m wearing. | 问问我穿的什么! |
[05:46] | Okay, fine. I’ll have an order of the Szechuan dumplings, | 好吧 我点一份麻辣水饺 |
[05:50] | the tofu lo mein and… | 一份豆腐捞面 还有… |
[05:53] | what are you wearing? | 你穿得什么? |
[05:55] | Hello? Ping? | 喂?平? |
[05:59] | Hi. Sol? | 嗨 索尔? |
[06:02] | Um… | |
[06:04] | Never mind. | 算了 |
[06:11] | Never mind, I said! | 我说算了! |
[06:17] | It is my understanding that the Constitution of the United States | “我的理解是美国宪法 |
[06:20] | allows everybody the free choice between… | 允许每个人在… |
[06:25] | Between– | 在… |
[06:27] | Shit! | 妈的! |
[06:28] | Between freedom and death. | 在自由和死亡之间自由选择” |
[06:33] | “Between cheesecake and strudel.” | “在芝士蛋糕和馅饼之间自由选择” |
[06:36] | Really should have gotten that one. | 真该记住这句话 |
[06:39] | Maybe if I had some cheesecake. | 如果能吃点芝士蛋糕就好了 |
[06:41] | Robert! | 罗伯特! |
[06:42] | It came! | 来了! |
[06:44] | It’s here! | 东西到了! |
[06:45] | Sol, my love, | 我亲爱的索尔 |
[06:46] | can we address | 我们能不能 |
[06:48] | what I’m sure is a beautiful shark-tooth necklace a bit later? | 一会儿再拆这个 我猜一定是条漂亮的鲨鱼牙项链吧? |
[06:51] | I’m having a hell of a time with these lines. | 这些台词很难背 我正饱受折磨呢 |
[06:53] | Funny you should mention that. | 你正好提到这个 |
[06:54] | I think I can help. | 我觉得我能帮上忙 |
[06:56] | Meet the QX17G. | 见识一下QX17G |
[07:00] | Are we really back on this earpiece-app-phone-thing? | 我们竟然还是要用 这个可以连手机的耳机吗? |
[07:03] | It’s state-of-the-art! | 这是最先进的一款! |
[07:05] | I’ll be able to hear everything you hear and respond with your lines in real time. | 我能听到你所听到的一切 并实时回应你的台词 |
[07:09] | Honey, we barely have command over our toaster, | 亲爱的 我们连烤面包机都不怎么会控制 |
[07:13] | let alone something that appears to be on loan from the CIA. | 更别说这种 像是从中情局借来的东西了 |
[07:16] | All you have to do is put it in your ear, | 你只要戴到耳朵里 |
[07:19] | tap once to turn it on, twice to turn it off. Cinch. | 按一下是开 按两下是关 很简单 |
[07:23] | I don’t know, Sol. | 我不好说 索尔 |
[07:25] | It feels inauthentic. | 感觉很不靠谱 |
[07:26] | You know how seriously I take my craft. | 你知道我对待艺术有多认真 |
[07:30] | Oh, please. All the pros do it. | 得了吧 专业人士都这么干 |
[07:33] | Robert De Niro, Jack Nicholson, Scott Caan. | 罗伯特·德尼罗、杰克·尼科尔森 斯科特·凯恩 |
[07:40] | Is it comfortable? | 舒服吗? |
[07:42] | Oh, my God, I can hear you. | 天呐 我能听见你说话 |
[07:43] | I’m in the room. | 我就在你旁边 |
[07:54] | Grace. | 格蕾丝 |
[07:55] | Nick. | 尼克 |
[07:56] | Thank you for agreeing to discuss your tome. | 谢谢你愿意来跟我谈谈你的巨作 |
[08:00] | I don’t know what “tome” means, but then again, I’m not a writer. | 我不知道“巨作”是什么意思 反正我不是个作家 |
[08:03] | H. W. Wallingford. | H.W.沃灵福德 |
[08:06] | I’m a wordsmith. | 我是个词匠 |
[08:07] | The pen is my hammer, | 笔是我的铁锤 |
[08:09] | the blank page, my anvil. | 白纸是我的铁砧 |
[08:11] | Fucking take it easy. | 能不能别这么戏精 |
[08:13] | Just stand behind me. | 站我后面去 |
[08:15] | -Here, sit. -My ghostwriter. | -坐吧 -我的代笔人 |
[08:17] | He’s been following me around. | 他一直跟着我 |
[08:19] | He doesn’t grow on you. | 他不太招人喜欢 |
[08:21] | I cannot believe how much you lied in that book. | 我真不敢相信你在书里撒了那么多谎 |
[08:24] | I really did have a submarine race with James Cameron. | 我真的和詹姆斯卡梅隆 进行了一次潜艇比赛 |
[08:27] | Who cheats, by the way. | 而且他还作弊了 |
[08:29] | I’m referring to the part | 我指的是 |
[08:31] | where you say our marriage was the one mistake you wish you hadn’t made. | 你说我们的婚姻 是你唯一后悔犯下的错误 |
[08:34] | So you saw that? | 你看见了? |
[08:35] | Yeah. | 是的 |
[08:37] | And I’m now suing you for libel. | 我现在要以诽谤罪起诉你 |
[08:39] | Well, I’m fairly sure that it’s not libelous if it’s how I feel. | 我很肯定这不是诽谤 这是我的真实所感 |
[08:43] | It’s not how you feel. | 这不是你的真实所感 |
[08:44] | He does not regret being married to me and I can prove it. | 他不后悔和我结婚 我能证明 |
[08:47] | Okay. Slow down. | 好 说慢点 |
[08:49] | Fine. Prove it. | 好 证明吧 |
[08:50] | You were happy when we were together. | 我们在一起的时候你很幸福 |
[08:54] | Just ’cause it didn’t end the way you wanted | 只是因为不是你希望的结局 |
[08:56] | doesn’t mean all the rest of it was terrible. | 不代表除此之外的部分也很糟糕 |
[08:58] | -I disagree. -Oh! | 我不同意 |
[09:00] | -You can’t disagree! -I just did. | -你不能不同意! -我就是不同意 |
[09:03] | The prison therapist said | 监狱里的心理治疗师说 |
[09:04] | -you can’t tell me how I feel. -If he knew what he was talking about, | -你不能告诉我我的感受 -如果他知道自己在说什么 |
[09:07] | -he wouldn’t be in prison. -He’s not an inmate… | -他就不会进监狱了 -他不是囚犯! |
[09:10] | anymore. | 现在出狱了 |
[09:11] | Frankie, would you tell Nick how grateful he is | 弗兰基 你能告诉尼克 |
[09:14] | to have been married to me? | 跟我结婚他很不胜感激吗? |
[09:16] | Oh, yeah, yeah, grateful. | 噢 没错 不胜感激 |
[09:18] | Who are you, Bow-Tie? | 你是谁 打领结的帅家伙? |
[09:20] | H. W. Wallingford. | H.W.沃灵福德 |
[09:22] | And you must be Frankie. | 你一定是弗兰基 |
[09:23] | Hmm. I was hoping I’d get a chance to meet you. | 我一直希望能有机会见到你 |
[09:26] | I gotta tell you, you did a hell of a job on the sex scenes. | 我告诉你 你描写激情场面真是一绝 人人都说要写你所熟悉的东西 |
[09:29] | Oh. They say write what you know. | |
[09:32] | -But I disagree. | 但我不同意 |
[09:34] | Is it just me | 只是我这样觉得 |
[09:36] | or could you cut the sexual tension in here with a spoon? | 还是这里的性张力真的一触即发 |
[09:41] | She’s funny too. | 她还很幽默 |
[09:43] | How about if we stop beating around the bush | 我们要不要别再拐弯抹角 |
[09:45] | and try what’s on page 43? | 直接试试43页的内容 |
[09:48] | God, get out of here. | 天呐 快滚 |
[09:54] | You’re right. He doesn’t grow on you. | 你说得对 这人真不招人喜欢 |
[09:59] | Hey. Sup, dawg? | 嘿 好姐妹? |
[10:01] | You ready to get swole? | 准备好健身了吗? |
[10:03] | I know you haven’t been working out with Bud. | 我知道你没有和巴德一起健身 |
[10:06] | -How? -So you admit it. | -你怎么知道? -你承认了 |
[10:07] | What? No. | 什么?没有 |
[10:09] | How, though? | 但你怎么知道的? |
[10:10] | Oh, God. You two are stupid. | 天呐 你俩太蠢了 |
[10:12] | First and foremost, | 首先 |
[10:13] | you’ve been working out every night for weeks | 你们已经连续好几周每晚都出去健身 |
[10:16] | and the man is still sentient pizza dough. Plus, I track his phone. | 但他还是胖得像个发面团 而且我还追踪了他的手机 |
[10:19] | Oh. | |
[10:21] | Drag. | 完蛋 |
[10:22] | Last night, he was at some bar called Goofy’s. | 昨晚他去了个叫做高飞的酒吧 |
[10:25] | I assume it’s Disney-themed. | 我想估计还是迪士尼主题的 |
[10:26] | Which is weird. But not weird enough to lie about. | 的确很怪 但也用不着撒谎 |
[10:29] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[10:31] | Bud and I have not been working out together, obviously. | 很显然我和巴德的确没有一起健身 |
[10:34] | But I have no idea why he asked me to cover for him. | 但我也不知道他为何要我给他打掩护 |
[10:37] | I don’t believe you. | 我不信你 |
[10:39] | Look, there is no way that Bud would be at a bar, alone, late at night. | 听着 巴德绝对不会深夜独自在酒吧 |
[10:44] | You know he doesn’t like drinking around men. | 你知道他不喜欢在男人身边喝酒 |
[10:47] | He’s scared someone will challenge him to darts. | 他害怕有人向他挑战掷飞镖 |
[10:49] | Exactly. | 没错 |
[10:50] | And, you know, those tracking apps are always finicky. | 而且你知道这些追踪软件 总是不那么精准 |
[10:54] | Here, let me see. | 来 给我看看 |
[10:56] | He’s probably at the place next door. | 他可能是在隔壁 |
[10:58] | Yep. See? Holiday Inn Express. | 看见了吗?智选假日酒店 |
[11:01] | Why would Bud go to a hotel? | 巴德为什么要去酒店? |
[11:03] | I don’t know. To get a hotel room? | 我不知道 去开房? |
[11:08] | Oh, my God. | 我的天呐 |
[11:10] | It all makes sense. | 这一切都说得通了 |
[11:12] | It does? | 是吧? |
[11:13] | Why would he get a hotel room unless he was–? | 他为什么要开房 除非他… |
[11:16] | Is Bud cheating on me? | 巴德出轨了? |
[11:18] | Uh… | |
[11:20] | You told my wife I’m having an affair? | 你告诉我老婆我出轨了? |
[11:22] | What? No. | 什么?怎么会 |
[11:23] | You’re misunderstanding. | 你误会了 |
[11:25] | I implied it. | 是我暗示的 |
[11:26] | Look. Don’t worry, okay? | 听着 别担心好吗? |
[11:29] | I told her she cannot confront you unless she has hard evidence. | 我跟她说除非她找到确凿证据 否则不能当面问你 |
[11:33] | And since you’re not having an affair, | 既然你没有出轨 |
[11:36] | there is no evidence. | 那就没有证据 |
[11:37] | You’re off the hook. The plan is airtight. | 你就会没事的 计划无懈可击 |
[11:39] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么呢? |
[11:42] | This is a disaster. | 简直是场灾难 |
[11:43] | She’s gonna be watching me like a hawk. | 她会紧紧盯着我一举一动的 |
[11:45] | I’ll be a prisoner in my own home. | 我就好像住在自己家里的囚犯 |
[11:48] | Which reminds me, you should know she’s tracking your phone, | 你提醒我了 你要知道她在追踪你的手机 |
[11:51] | which means you’ll be a prisoner outside your home too. | 也就是说你在外面也是囚犯 |
[11:53] | I’m so fucked. | 我完蛋了 |
[11:56] | You’re fucked? | 你还完蛋了? |
[11:57] | I lost two clients today. | 我今天失去了两个客户 |
[12:06] | Hey, Dad. | 嘿 爸爸 |
[12:07] | Hello, sweetheart. | 你好 乖女儿 |
[12:09] | I’m so glad the cheesecake is here. | 我很高兴芝士蛋糕来了 |
[12:12] | And you. | 你也来了 |
[12:14] | Well, I just thought I’d pop by and bring you your cheesecake | 我就是想过来给你带个芝士蛋糕 |
[12:17] | in order to avoid my problems. | 这样就可以逃避我的麻烦 |
[12:19] | Yeah, I heard what’s going on between you and Mal. | 我听说你和玛洛的事情了 |
[12:22] | So you know it’s bad? | 你知道事情很糟糕吗? |
[12:23] | Well, you have done many horrible things to her. | 你的确对她做了许多可怕的事 |
[12:28] | Granted, but this might be the straw that killed the horse… | 当然 这件事可能是 杀死大马的那根稻草… |
[12:33] | or whatever. | 大概是这个说法吧 |
[12:35] | I guess the straw is poisonous? | 我猜因为这根稻草有毒? |
[12:37] | Why don’t you just apologize? | 你为何不直接道歉呢? |
[12:39] | Because I suck at it, | 因为我做不好 |
[12:41] | and if I’m going to apologize, I want it to work. | 而且如果我要道歉 我希望能有好的结果 |
[12:47] | I wonder… | 我想知道… |
[12:49] | if you’ve thought about saying something | 你有没有想过说一些 |
[12:52] | that draws on a lifetime of love and sisterhood? | 关于一生之爱或者姐妹情深的话? |
[13:00] | Dad? Blink if someone made you say that. | 爸?如果是有人逼你说这些 你就眨眨眼 |
[13:07] | See? It works. | 看见没?成功了 |
[13:09] | What the fuck is happening? I don’t like it. | 什么情况?我不喜欢 |
[13:11] | I don’t like it either. | 我也不喜欢 |
[13:13] | Sol got me this ridiculous earpiece to help me with my lines for the show. | 索尔给了我这个可笑的耳机 来帮我准备演出的台词 |
[13:16] | It’ll never work. | 这不会有用的 |
[13:17] | -It just did! -Oh! | 刚刚就成功了 |
[13:19] | Who brought cheesecake? | 谁带的芝士蛋糕? |
[13:22] | -Dad– -Pipe down, Robert. | -爸… -冷静点 罗伯特 |
[13:24] | We’re not talking cheesecake right now! | 我们现在没在说芝士蛋糕! |
[13:27] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
[13:28] | What were we talking about? | 我们在说什么? |
[13:29] | Yes, I know it’s hard to concentrate with cheesecake around. | 我知道有芝士蛋糕在身边 是很难集中注意力的 |
[13:34] | That’s right. | 没错 |
[13:35] | I’ve gotta stay focused. Excuse me. | 我得集中注意力 失陪 |
[13:40] | Just tell Mallory she’s your North Star | 你就告诉玛洛琳她是你的北极星 |
[13:44] | and the last thing you want is for her to be angry at you. | 你最不希望的就是她生你的气 |
[13:47] | Then you tell her why you were wrong | 然后告诉她你错在哪里 |
[13:50] | and then tell her you’ve learned a lesson. | 你已经吸取了教训 |
[13:54] | Great. You can just say that for me. | 太好了 你可以替我说 |
[13:56] | And maybe bring a bottle of cheap merlot with you. | 也许你还可以带瓶便宜的梅洛红酒 |
[13:59] | That’s not how it works. | 这样不行的 |
[14:05] | What if you apologize with me? | 那如果你和我一起道歉呢? |
[14:08] | This technology is for good, | 这项技术是为了做好事 |
[14:11] | not for evil. | 不是做坏事 |
[14:13] | Well, that’s not been my experience with technology. | 在我看来科技可不是这样的 |
[14:17] | And true, we’re deceiving Mallory, | 我们的确在欺骗玛洛琳 |
[14:19] | but we’re also helping me. | 但这是在帮我 |
[14:24] | And isn’t that the good-est thing of all? | 这难道不是最大的善行吗? |
[14:29] | Before we get started, I’d just like to ask you a few questions. | 在我们开始之前 我想问你几个问题 |
[14:33] | Sure. | 好 |
[14:34] | Are you married? | 你结婚了吗? |
[14:36] | Uh, only to my work. | 只与工作一生相伴 你有什么疾病要告诉我吗? |
[14:38] | Uh, any diseases I should know about? | |
[14:41] | Just diabetes. | 只有糖尿病 |
[14:42] | Excellent. | 太好了 |
[14:44] | Well, now that we got that out of the way, | 既然我们已经没有后顾之忧 |
[14:47] | I just love your little bow-tie. | 我真的好喜欢你的领结 |
[14:49] | Really? | 真的吗? |
[14:50] | -You know, most women do not– -Let’s have an experience, H. W. | -大多数女人都不… -让我们经历难忘一夜吧 H.W. |
[14:54] | One you’ll remember for the rest of your life, | 你会铭记一辈子 |
[14:56] | and one that I will remember… | 我会铭记… |
[14:58] | for a week, | 一星期 |
[14:59] | give or take. | 差不多吧 |
[15:03] | Look, Frankie– | 听着 弗兰基… |
[15:04] | What else do I have to do? Are you gonna be my last hurrah or what? | 我还要做什么? 你到底要不要做我的最后激情? |
[15:09] | Mm-hm. | |
[15:13] | Frankie, at my last book signing, | 弗兰基 在我上一次的签售会上 |
[15:15] | a gaggle of ladies accosted me with high hopes of a harem. | 一大群女人都跃跃欲试 很想跟我尝试一次闺房之乐 |
[15:21] | -Hmm. -Yeah. | 是啊 |
[15:22] | And I’m gonna tell you what I told them. | 我告诉你我跟她们说了什么 |
[15:25] | That there’s a motel across the street with handrails in the shower? | 街对面有家汽车旅馆淋浴间有扶手? |
[15:29] | No. | 不是 |
[15:31] | No. What I told them was, “If you want to get in here, | 不 我告诉她们:“要想享受这里 |
[15:36] | then you’ve got to get in here first.” | 先要惊艳这里” |
[15:39] | Tell me your story. | 告诉我你的故事 |
[15:41] | Get ready for a roller coaster, | 准备好心跳加速吧 |
[15:43] | because Frankie Bergstein has a hell of a life story. | 因为弗兰基伯格斯丁的人生故事 可是精彩至极 |
[15:52] | Sol, you there? | 索尔 你在吗? |
[15:53] | That’s an affirmative. | 没问题 |
[16:00] | Hey, girl. | 嘿 姐妹 你在这儿干什么?爸爸呢? |
[16:01] | Ugh. What the hell are you doing here? Where’s Dad? | |
[16:04] | He asked for a cheesecake. | 他想吃芝士蛋糕 |
[16:06] | Okay, you’ve been tricked. This is an apology ruse. | 你被骗了 这是为了道歉的小计谋 |
[16:09] | -What the fuck, man? -I know, I know. | -搞什么? -我知道… |
[16:12] | And you have every right to be upset. Just please hear me out. | 你完全有资格生气 但你听我解释 |
[16:15] | There’s something I want to say. | 我有话要说 |
[16:18] | There’s something I want to say. | 我有话要说 |
[16:21] | Something I’ve needed to say for a long time. | 这是我一直想说的话 |
[16:25] | All right, let’s have it. | 好吧 说来听听 |
[16:27] | So for my whole life… | 在我这一生中… |
[16:30] | You’ve filled my heart with light and joy because you are… | 你让我的心充满了光明和喜悦 因为你是我的… |
[16:35] | My North Star. | 北极星 |
[16:37] | And sometimes, it’s hard for me to admit that. | 有时我很难承认这一点 |
[16:43] | And I know what I did with Stewie and the Eye Butter was… | 我知道我对斯蒂威做的事 和眼部黄油的事情… |
[16:46] | Really wrong. | 真的错了 |
[16:48] | But I think when I do things like that, it’s about… | 但我想我做这样的事情是因为… |
[16:51] | My own lack of self-esteem? | 我缺乏自尊? |
[16:55] | And I just want to say… | 我只是想说… |
[16:56] | That I love you… | 我爱你… |
[16:58] | And I’m sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
[17:05] | You are the wind beneath my wings. | 你就是我的翼下之风 |
[17:14] | Sol? | 索尔? |
[17:16] | You went to Sol for coaching, didn’t you? | 你找索尔帮忙了 对不对? |
[17:21] | Yes. | 对 |
[17:22] | I did. | 没错 |
[17:24] | Because I wanted to get it right. | 因为我想好好道歉 |
[17:27] | Because I care. | 因为我在乎 我就知道你不会用正常语气 引用《莫负当年情》里的话 |
[17:28] | You… I knew you wouldn’t quote Beaches unironically. | |
[17:33] | I mean, just for that, I forgive you. | 就冲这点 我原谅你 |
[17:36] | I can’t imagine how hard that must have been. | 我无法想象你有多煎熬 |
[17:38] | Right? | 是吧? |
[17:40] | It is so annoying. It was like an apology from a Muppet. | 太讨厌了 就像一个提线木偶在道歉 |
[17:43] | So annoying. | 太讨厌了 |
[17:44] | The man was wearing a Joan Baez T-shirt and chef’s pants the other day. | 前几天他穿了一个琼贝兹的T恤 和一条厨师裤 |
[17:47] | In public, unabashedly out in the world like that. | 在公共场合就那样穿 也不知道羞愧 |
[17:50] | At least he wasn’t listening to Joan Baez. | 至少他当时没听着琼贝兹的歌 |
[17:52] | If I have to hear “Sweet Sir Galahad” one more time… | 如果再让我听一次 《加拉哈德爵士》… |
[17:56] | Have you seen the picture of Rachel Maddow he keeps in his wallet? | 你看见他钱包里 雷切尔玛多的照片了吗? |
[17:59] | Which one? | 哪一张? |
[18:03] | And hey, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, | 而且我不知道你有没有注意到 |
[18:06] | but has he been a little short with Dad lately? | 他最近对爸爸很苛刻 |
[18:09] | Yes. He’s actually been kind of a prick. | 对 好像个混球 |
[18:12] | A little while ago, he cut Dad off pretty harshly for, like, no reason. | 不久之前 他无缘无故地严厉打断了爸爸的话 |
[18:17] | I can hear you. | 我能听见 |
[18:22] | Crap. | 坏了 |
[18:25] | You have to admit you were happy. | 你得承认你当时很幸福 |
[18:28] | Oh, my God. Fine. Whatever. | 天呐 行 随便吧 |
[18:29] | You want me to cut that sentence so badly? I’ll cut the sentence. | 你这么想让我删掉那句子? 那我就删掉 |
[18:32] | Great. Thank you. | 很好 谢谢你 |
[18:34] | You happy now? | 你现在开心了吧? |
[18:36] | No. | 不 |
[18:37] | Why not? | 为什么? |
[18:38] | Because I want you to want to cut the sentence. | 因为我想让你自己真心想删掉那句子 |
[18:41] | I said I’d cut it. What does it matter? | 我说了我会删掉 是否真心有什么关系呢? |
[18:44] | Because you’ve been divorced three times, | 因为你离过三次婚 |
[18:47] | you embezzled millions of dollars, you’ve gone to prison, | 挪用了上百万美金 进了监狱 |
[18:50] | you’ve lost your company and your reputation. | 失去了公司和名誉 |
[18:53] | How could I be the one mistake you wish you hadn’t made? | 我怎么会是 你唯一希望没有犯过的错误呢? |
[18:58] | Because none of those other mistakes hurt like this one. | 因为其他错误都没有像这个一样伤人 |
[19:02] | Do you know how… humiliating… | 你知道 我有多羞耻… |
[19:10] | it was to wake up every morning knowing… | 每天早上醒来都记起… |
[19:13] | that you loved Frankie more than you loved me? | 你爱弗兰基胜过爱我? |
[19:17] | To know that I wanted to share my life with you, | 我想跟你分享我的人生 |
[19:21] | but you wanted to share it with somebody else. | 而你却想和别人分享 |
[19:24] | So sorry if I consider that a mistake… | 所以很抱歉我将这看作一个… |
[19:28] | I wish I hadn’t made. | 我希望没有犯下的错误 |
[19:33] | The truth is, I knew I wanted to be with Frankie. | 其实我知道我想和弗兰基在一起 |
[19:39] | I also knew right from the start | 而且我从一开始就知道 |
[19:42] | I shouldn’t have married you. | 我就不该嫁给你 |
[19:47] | I’m sorry I hurt you. | 很抱歉我伤害了你 |
[19:50] | I guess that was the one mistake I wish I hadn’t made. | 我想这是我希望自己 没有犯的一个错误 |
[19:56] | Grace, I’ll change the stupid sentence. It’s really not a big deal. | 格蕾丝 我会改掉那个句子 真的没什么大不了的 |
[19:59] | No, it’s the truth. | 不 事实就是如此 |
[20:02] | But there is another sentence I would like to talk to you about. | 但还有个句子我想跟你谈谈 |
[20:07] | Oh, Jesus. | 天呐 |
[20:08] | How could you say that the last time we had sex it was great? | 你怎么能说我们最后一次性爱很棒? |
[20:12] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么? |
[20:14] | It was amazing. | 就是很棒 |
[20:17] | Mind-boggling. | 难以想象 |
[20:19] | I didn’t care for it. | 我不这样认为 |
[20:20] | You had such a big orgasm you knocked the Gaviscon off the night table. | 你高潮爽到 把床头柜上的胃药都踢下去了 |
[20:24] | It was a cramp. | 那是我抽筋了 |
[20:25] | I was low on potassium. | 我当时比较缺钾 |
[20:28] | Why didn’t you eat a banana? | 你为什么不吃个香蕉? |
[20:31] | I thought we had this wonderful, passionate last time. | 我以为我们上次充满激情 美妙非凡 |
[20:38] | It had a kind of… | 当时有点… |
[20:40] | a desperate feel to it. | 迫切绝望的感觉 |
[20:43] | I’d just gotten out of prison. | 我刚从监狱出来 |
[20:45] | I think the desperation was two people… | 我觉得绝望是因为两个人… |
[20:51] | trying to hold onto something they both knew was already gone. | 还试图抓住一些 他们自己知道早已失去的东西 |
[21:23] | You want to take another crack at this? | 你想再抽筋一次吗? |
[21:26] | Sure. | 当然 |
[21:28] | I had bananas with my Total this morning. | 今早我就着复合维生素吃了香蕉 |
[21:37] | That’s weird. | 好奇怪 |
[21:38] | Coyote told me to avoid empty carbs and dairy. | 凯奥迪避免吃高热量食物和奶制品 |
[21:41] | Must be on different programs. | 肯定是计划不一样 |
[21:42] | I’m bulking up for the summer. | 夏天快来了 我要增增肌 |
[21:45] | -Hi, hi. -Hi. | -你们好 -你好 |
[21:46] | I don’t mean to bother you. | 我无意打扰二位 |
[21:48] | I just wanted to say you were so great last night. | 我就是想说你昨晚表现太棒了 |
[21:51] | Oh. | |
[21:53] | You were together last night? | 你们昨晚在一起? |
[21:54] | -Over at Goofy’s. -I think you’re confused, lady. | -在高飞酒吧 -我想你搞错了 女士 |
[21:57] | You didn’t see me. | 你看到的不是我 |
[21:59] | I sure did. | 肯定没错 |
[22:02] | Nope. Must be the other Black guy in San Diego. | 不 一定是圣地亚哥的另一个黑人 |
[22:05] | His name’s Kevin. Go bother him. | 他叫凯文 去招惹他吧 |
[22:07] | Wow. | |
[22:08] | White people, right? | 白人 真的是 |
[22:10] | Oh, my God. | 天呐 |
[22:11] | I’m so sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
[22:13] | I swear, I’m not one of those– I’m not a… | 我真的不是那种…我不是… |
[22:17] | I’m so sorry. | 很抱歉 |
[22:21] | No. I know what’s going on. | 不 我知道怎么回事 |
[22:24] | And her, Bud? Really? | 巴德 你选了她?当真? |
[22:27] | You’re banging strange women who look vaguely like me | 你和看上去长得像我的陌生女人 |
[22:30] | at the Holiday Inn Express? | 在智选假日酒店鬼混? |
[22:31] | Jesus Christ! | 天呐! |
[22:33] | What? No. | 什么?没有 |
[22:35] | You think my mistress would approach me in front of my wife at the grocery store? | 你觉得我的情人会在杂货店 当着我妻子的面接近我? |
[22:39] | I wouldn’t date an idiot, babe. I’m a divorce lawyer. | 我不会跟个傻子约会 宝贝 我是个离婚律师 |
[22:42] | Can you imagine the tricks I’ve learned over the years? | 你知道我这么多年学了多少技巧吗? |
[22:45] | -This is how you’re defending yourself? -No good? | -你就是这么为自己辩解的? -不太行吗? |
[22:50] | -I was in Chicago in ’68 during the DNC. -Right. | -68年民主党全国委员会我在芝加哥 -是 |
[22:55] | But I went to get a hot dog when all the shit went down. | 但是我去买热狗的时候 一切都急转直下 |
[22:59] | Last hot dog I ever ate. | 那是我最后一次吃热狗 |
[23:01] | I knew the instant I saw him he was mine and I was his. | 我一看到他就知道 他是我的 我是他的 |
[23:06] | He was such a happy, talkative baby. | 他以前是个那么开心和善谈的孩子 |
[23:09] | When he cooed, he sounded like a coyote. | 他咕咕叫的时候 听起来就像一只土狼 |
[23:11] | Oh, it was really something. | 那真是厉害 |
[23:14] | We kept his African name, though. | 我们留下了他的非洲名字 |
[23:16] | Nwabudike. | 瓦不迪克 |
[23:18] | I was too embarrassed to tell anyone I left the lens cap on | 我站在那个长满青草的小山上时 |
[23:22] | -when I was standing on that grassy knoll. -Well, okay. | -我不好意思说我没有关上镜头盖 -好吧 -弗兰基? -怎么了 H.W.? |
[23:24] | -Ah. Frankie? -Yes, H.W.? | |
[23:27] | You’re a wonderful woman. | 你是个很棒的女人 |
[23:29] | I see that clearly now. | 我现在明白了 |
[23:32] | Skip to the end. | 直接说结局吧 |
[23:33] | Okay, the end… | 好 结局… |
[23:37] | The end? | 结局? |
[23:39] | I’m not sure I have a really good ending. | 我不确定我是否有一个好的结局 |
[23:42] | Well, all the more reason to live life now. | 现在更有理由把握人生尽情享受了 |
[23:46] | Help me take my shoes off. | 帮我把鞋脱了 |
[23:48] | Oh, this is bad. | 这太糟糕了 |
[23:49] | What, you’re not good with shoelaces? That’s okay. Neither am I. | 你不擅长解鞋带吗?没事 我也不会 |
[23:53] | No. I’m starting to worry… | 不 我开始担心… |
[23:56] | that my life has built to nothing. | 我的人生毫无建树 |
[23:59] | No, no, it’s fine. You’ve lived a fine life. | 没事的 你过得还不错 |
[24:01] | I didn’t want fine. | 我不想只是“还不错” |
[24:03] | And now it’s too late to change it. | 现在已经来不及改变了 |
[24:06] | The clock is ticking. | 时间在流逝 |
[24:08] | What? No, no, no, you’re good. | 怎么会?不…你很好 |
[24:10] | I’m not. | 我不好 |
[24:11] | I’m good, so let’s go. | 我很好 所以我们来吧 |
[24:13] | Oh, H.W., enough. | H.W. 行了 |
[24:16] | Nobody’s getting laid tonight. | 今晚没人能上床 |
[24:20] | Okay, but you were lying about the working out. | 但你的确在健身这件事上撒谎了 |
[24:22] | I’m not, like, imagining that, right? | 这不是我自己乱想吧? |
[24:25] | Okay, yes. I was. | 好吧 我的确撒谎了 |
[24:28] | But why? | 为什么? |
[24:29] | I am so sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
[24:31] | And I promise I’m gonna leave you alone. | 我保证之后不会再打扰你们 |
[24:33] | It’s just that I’m a comedy manager | 只是我是个喜剧经纪人 |
[24:36] | and I thought you were this comedian I saw at an open mic. | 我认为你是我在开放麦之夜 看到的那位喜剧演员 |
[24:39] | He was so funny and kind of sweet, | 他既幽默又帅气 |
[24:41] | and I have to book slots for this Amateur Night that Jimmy Kimmel’s doing. | 我必须为此预定 吉米坎摩尔办的业余爱好者之夜 |
[24:44] | But I am so sorry to both of you. | 对二位我真的很抱歉 |
[24:48] | So embarrassing. | 太丢人了 祝二位今天愉快 |
[24:49] | Um, you two have a good day. | |
[24:53] | Wait. | 等等 |
[24:55] | That was me. | 那就是我 |
[24:57] | I am that incredibly talented comedian you saw at Goofy’s. | 我就是你在高飞酒吧看到的 极具天赋的喜剧演员 |
[25:02] | I’m Bud. | 我是巴德 |
[25:04] | -What? | -What? -什么? -什么? |
[25:06] | Little bit more of a James Corden guy, but you can tell Jimmy that I’ll be there. | 我虽然更喜欢詹姆斯柯登 但告诉吉米我会到的 |
[25:10] | Then why did you call me a racist when I complimented you? | 那我称赞你的时候 你为什么说我是种族主义者? |
[25:12] | To cover my lies to my wife? | 为了掩盖我对我妻子的谎言? |
[25:15] | Well, you’re disgusting. Goodbye. | 你真恶心 再见 |
[25:23] | I can’t read you right now. | 我现在读不懂你表情 |
[25:24] | Are you mad about the weeks of deception or excited about Kimmel? | 你是因为几周的欺骗而生气 还是因为坎摩尔而激动 |
[25:32] | Girls, I see you’ve brought cheesecake. | 姑娘们 我看你们带了芝士蛋糕 |
[25:36] | How about I order us a few pizzas, we make a cheesy night of it? | 我点几个披萨 咱们过个芝士之夜如何? |
[25:39] | That sounds great, Dad, but I have four kids I have to feed. | 听起来不错 老爸 但我还有四个孩子嗷嗷待哺 |
[25:43] | And I have a bird I have to kill. | 我还有只鸟要去杀 |
[25:46] | Okay, we’ll do pizza another night. | 好 那我们改天再吃披萨 |
[25:48] | Anyway, if you’ll excuse us for just a minute, we have to talk to Sol. | 能不能等我们一会 我们要跟索尔谈谈 |
[25:52] | Sol, your friends are here. | 索尔 你的朋友们来了 |
[25:58] | Glad to see you girls are back together again. | 很高兴看到你们姐妹又和好如初 |
[26:02] | And all it took was a raucous referendum on all the ways in which I fall short. | 这只需要对我的短处 进行一场尖锐吐槽 |
[26:09] | Sol, we are so sorry. | 索尔 我们很抱歉 |
[26:12] | We were just blowing off steam. | 我们只是在发泄压力 |
[26:14] | We didn’t even mean the things we were saying. | 我们说得那些话都不是真心的 |
[26:16] | I love Joan Baez. | 我爱琼贝兹 |
[26:19] | And chef’s pants. | 还有厨师裤 |
[26:21] | That elastic waistband is everything. | 那条松紧带闪耀全场 |
[26:24] | Look. | 听着 |
[26:26] | I know I’m not your kind of guy. | 我知道你们不喜欢我这种类型 |
[26:29] | I know you find me silly | 我知道你们觉得我很傻 |
[26:31] | and maybe even a little self-indulgent, fine. | 或者甚至有些任性自我 没关系 |
[26:36] | But to borrow from La Cage, “I am what I am.” | 但借用《一笼傻鸟》中一句台词: 我就是我 |
[26:42] | I just can’t believe you think I mistreat my husband. | 我就是不敢相信 你们竟然觉得我对我的丈夫不好 |
[26:45] | I love your father more than anything in this world. | 我爱你们的父亲胜于这世上的一切 |
[26:50] | And I’m the one who takes care of him. | 我是那个照顾他的人 |
[26:55] | The one who is going to take care of him. | 是那个以后都要照顾他的人 |
[26:58] | No one is doubting that you love him, Sol. | 没人怀疑你对他的爱 |
[27:00] | But you have been pretty rude to him lately. | 但你最近的确对他有些苛刻 |
[27:03] | Brianna, I was trying to protect him. | 布丽安娜 我是想保护他 |
[27:07] | He was repeating himself. | 他老在重复自己的话 |
[27:09] | I didn’t want you to notice. | 我不想让你们注意到 |
[27:11] | That’s just Dad being Dad. | 爸爸经常那样 |
[27:13] | And you’re not curious as to why he needs the earpiece? | 你们不好奇他为什么需要耳机吗? |
[27:16] | Please, he’s always forgetting important stuff. | 拜托 他总是会忘记重要的事情 |
[27:19] | Like our names. | 比如我们的名字 |
[27:22] | This isn’t anything new, anything we need to be worried about. | 这不是什么新鲜事 我们根本无须担心 |
[27:27] | I thought so too. | 我本来也这样以为 |
[27:30] | I thought so too, but… | 我本来也这样以为 但是… |
[27:33] | Have you cheered up that sad sack yet? | 你们把那个可怜虫哄高兴了吗? |
[27:36] | I saw you brought cheesecake. | 我看你们带了芝士蛋糕 |
[27:38] | How about I order us some pizza, we make a cheesy night of it? | 我点几个披萨 咱们过个芝士之夜如何? |
[27:49] | That’d be great, Dad. | 那太好了 爸爸 好 |
[28:03] | -Whoa. -Yeah. | |
[28:05] | Now, that? | 这才是 |
[28:07] | That was a last time. | 这才是最后一次该有的样子 |
[28:12] | So glad we ended like this. | 很高兴我们能这样结束 |
[28:19] | And I hope, one day, you’ll be able to see the good in our relationship. | 我希望有一天 你能看到我们关系中有益的一面 |
[28:24] | I gotta say, this really helped. | 我得说这事对此很有帮助 弗兰基是一个迷人 但让人搞不懂的女人 |
[28:27] | Wow. That Frankie is a fascinating but confounding woman. | |
[28:33] | -H.W., write this down. -Okay. | -H.W. 把这个写下来 -好 |
[28:36] | “Ultimately, marrying Grace was the one mistake I wish I hadn’t made. | “最终 和格蕾丝结婚 是我希望自己没有犯下的错误 |
[28:42] | -But I’d make it all over again.” | 但这个错误我会反复再犯” 我的大限就在下周四 |
[28:45] | Uh, my death date is next Thursday, | |
[28:49] | and I’m realizing my life has added up to nothing. | 而且现在意识到我的人生毫无意义 |
[28:55] | I have no ending. | 结局虚无 |
[29:03] | That’s my cue. | 这意味着我该走了 |
[29:10] | Dude. | 哥们 |
[29:13] | Can you leave? | 你能不能走人? |