| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:41] | – Get a warrant. – You know I don’t need one. | －去申请搜索令啊 －你明知道我不用申请 |
| [00:43] | I saw you refilled your pond. | 我看到你重新灌满了池塘 |
| [00:44] | That puts you way over your monthly allowance. | 光是这样就远超过 你的每月额度了 |
| [00:46] | – So sue me. – We have! | －告我啊 －我们提告了啊 |
| [00:48] | You owe $150,000 in fines this year alone. | 你光是今年 就欠了１５万元罚金 |
| [00:50] | Which I have paid! | 我已经付清了 |
| [00:51] | I don’t need this constant harassment! | 别一直上门骚扰我 |
| [00:53] | Wayne Newton’s got seven fountains! | 韦恩纽顿甚至拥有七座喷泉 |
| [00:56] | Could you remind Ms. Vance that, legally | 请你提醒凡斯女士 |
| [00:59] | she cannot stop me from checking her water meter? | 就法律上 她无法拒绝我查水表 |
| [01:01] | And could you please remind this “water cop” | 那请你提醒这位＂水利警察＂ |
| [01:03] | that I have more pressing issues to attend to | 我还有很多迫切问题要处理 |
| [01:06] | like taking an unnecessarily long shower? | 例如洗一个没必要的长澡 |
| [01:14] | If you come around the side, I can unlock the gate from the back. | 你从侧门来的话 我会去后面帮忙开门 |
| [01:17] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [01:25] | – Hot… – Thank you. | －很烫‥ －谢谢你 |
| [01:26] | – Accidentally touched the lip. – Okay. | 我不小心碰到杯口了 好的 |
| [01:29] | Think that’s a hair, okay. | 这应该是根头发吧？ |
| [01:33] | Kayla? What is in this coffee? | 凯拉？ 咖啡里加了什么？ |
| [01:36] | Half-and-half and sugar. | 半奶半奶油和糖 |
| [01:37] | – Well, Splenda. – Okay. | －是善品糖 －好的 |
| [01:39] | A couple of Splendas. | 加了一些善品糖 |
| [01:40] | That’s not sugar. It’s all chemicals. | 那不是糖，是化学物质 |
| [01:42] | – Yeah. – And I take natural sugar. | －对 －我要天然的糖 |
| [01:43] | – Yeah, brain… – All right… | －对，我的脑子‥恍神了 |
| [01:45] | F-A-R-T. | －好啦 |
| [01:48] | Is your phone ringing or something? | 是你的电话在响吗？ |
| [01:50] | I don’t know. Let’s find out. | 不知道耶，我接接看 |
| [01:53] | Jimmy Lusaque Jr.’s office. Jimmy speaking. | 小吉米拉萨克的办公室 我就是吉米 |
| [01:56] | Hey, buddy, how’s it going? | 兄弟，你好吗？ |
| [01:58] | Did you get that dog I sent you? | 收到我寄去的狗了吗？ |
| [01:59] | Yeah, I don’t need another dog. | 收到了，但我不需要另一只狗 |
| [02:01] | I have one and he hates me. | 我已经有一只了，它讨厌我 |
| [02:02] | What’s going on with you? | 你是怎么了？ |
| [02:03] | Why do you keep sending me Petfinder links? | 干嘛一直传给我领养狗的连结？ |
| [02:05] | Well… | －因为我很寂寞，亲爱的 |
| [02:07] | – I’m pretty lonely, my man. – That’s sad. | －太惨了 |
| [02:09] | How’s it going archiving for Deborah? | 帮黛博拉建档的工作 进行得如何？ |
| [02:11] | So painful. | 太痛苦了，她最棒的经历 |
| [02:12] | The coolest thing she’s ever done | |
| [02:13] | is co-host New Year’s Rockin’ Eve in 2000. | 就是在２０００年共同主持了 新年摇滚夜 |
| [02:17] | 2001 wasn’t as good, but I don’t know. | ２００１年就没那么好了 我也不知道为什么 |
| [02:20] | Maybe that’s just ’cause I knew 9/11 was coming. | 可能是因为我知道 接下来有９１１事件吧 |
| [02:22] | Come on, Deborah’s done plenty of cool stuff. | 别这样 黛博拉有很多很棒的经历 |
| [02:24] | I mean, she started the gay cruise trend. | 是她带起了同志邮轮风潮 |
| [02:25] | You love LGBTQAI+ stuff. | 你喜欢多元性别和性向议题啊 |
| [02:28] | Speaking of which, how’s Ruby? | 说到这个，露比好吗？ |
| [02:30] | Well, we broke up three months ago. | 我们三个月前分手了 |
| [02:32] | – So I think you’ll have to ask her. – I’m sorry. | 所以你大概得问她 |
| [02:35] | Hey, look, if you’re just calling to shoot the shit | 抱歉，听着 如果你只是打来闲聊 |
| [02:37] | love you, bless you, but I’ll call you back. | 爱你喔，祝你好运 不过我等等再打给你 |
| [02:39] | All righty, ciao. | 好啊，再见 |
| [02:40] | Okay, ciao for now. | 好，先挂掉啦 |
| [02:42] | – Here you go, prince. – Thank you so much. | －给你，王子 －非常感谢你 |
| [02:45] | Yum! | 很好喝喔 |
| [02:47] | – ‘Kay. – Not “yum,” weird and bizarre. | 一点都不好喝，味道好怪异 |
| [02:50] | – What is in this one? – Honey! | －这杯加了什么？ －蜂蜜啊 |
| [02:51] | You said natural. It comes from bears. | 你说要天然食材 这是熊采集来的 |
| [02:53] | – Kayla… – Knock, knock. | －凯拉‥ －有人在吗？ |
| [02:55] | Michael! Hi! | －麦可，你好 |
| [02:57] | Daddy! Daddy’s at work! | －爸爸，在上班的爸爸 |
| [02:59] | So how’s my baby girl doing? | 我的宝贝女儿表现如何？ |
| [03:01] | She’s unbelievable. Really special, special. | 她太棒了，真的非常特别‥ |
| [03:05] | You know, she specifically requested to be on your desk. | 她特别要求要为你工作 |
| [03:08] | – She did? – Yeah. | －是吗？ －是啊 |
| [03:10] | You almost got stuck with some Harvard nerd | 你差点就要应付 哈佛毕业的书呆子 |
| [03:12] | always bragging about his Fulbright. | 成天炫耀自己获选 加入傅尔布莱特计划 |
| [03:15] | God, that would have been so annoying! | 天啊，那我会被烦死 |
| [03:21] | – Let’s go do lunch! – Absolutely, sugar plum. | －我们去吃午餐吧 －好啊，小甜心 |
| [03:24] | – Hold down the fort, Jimmy Junior. – You got it, Michael. | －看好办公室了，小吉米 －好的 |
| [03:26] | – “Hold down the fort, Jimmy Junior!” – Okay. | －＂看好办公室了，小吉米＂ －好的 |
| [03:28] | Could you bring back lunch for me, please? | 可以麻烦帮我买午餐吗？ ＂凯西凡斯＂ |
| [03:48] | Hello? | 有人在家吗？ |
| [03:54] | Oh, shit. | 糟糕 |
| [04:00] | Donate. | 捐出去吧 |
| [04:02] | Oh, do you like these? | 你要这件吗？ |
| [04:04] | Not my style. I like a pant with a stirrup. | 不是我的风格，我喜欢踩脚裤 |
| [04:08] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [04:09] | Mom! | 妈妈 |
| [04:11] | I mean, come on! | 拜托 |
| [04:14] | – This is… this sucks! – No… | －这也太丑了 －不会‥ |
| [04:16] | It’s chic. It’s very elegant. It’s very Gina Lollobrigida. | 这很时尚，非常优雅 很有珍娜露露布丽姬的感觉 |
| [04:20] | Who? No. | 那是谁？ |
| [04:21] | This is.. I look like an asshole. | 不行，这让我看起来像个浑球 |
| [04:23] | Just give it to stupid Marcus, or donate it. | 送给笨马可斯吧，不然就捐出去 |
| [04:25] | Some things are too nice to donate. | 有些东西太棒了，捐不得 |
| [04:27] | Well, not this. | 这件可不是 |
| [04:29] | Okay, look, I’ll take your heirlooms if you promise to wear | 听着，我会接收这件传家宝 |
| [04:33] | one of my chokers on stage, and a big one. | 前提是你答应我 会戴我的颈链上台，大秀才行 |
| [04:35] | Now, the dress is working, you know? | 这件洋装很适合你啊 |
| [04:37] | What’s not working is your eyebrows. | 你的眉毛才不对劲 |
| [04:39] | – What? – Mom! | 什么？ 妈妈 |
| [04:40] | I keep telling you, you’ve got to extend them | －我一直叫你用眉笔画长一点 |
| [04:42] | – a bit with a pencil. – Oh, my God. | －我的天啊 |
| [04:43] | Right there, they just kind of peter out. | 你的眉毛到那边就不见了 |
| [04:45] | Pencil, a little pencil. | 稍微画一下就好 |
| [04:46] | I’ve been using the serum. It just takes time. | 我一直都有涂精华液 只是需要点时间让它生长 |
| [04:48] | Josefina, can you, please? | －约瑟菲娜，帮我说句话好吗？ |
| [04:50] | I’m just here for a blazer. | －我只是来拿件西装外套 |
| [04:52] | I told you, you were gonna regret over-tweezing in the ’90s. | 我早跟你说过你会后悔 在９０年代拔掉太多眉毛 |
| [04:55] | The only thing I regret from the ’90s is not getting frickin’ emancipated. | 我在９０年代唯一的悔恨 就是没有大解放 |
| [04:59] | You know, DJ, I have had a morning with the water cop | 黛洁，我一整个早上 都在应付水利警察 |
| [05:01] | so don’t start with me. | 所以别找我麻烦 |
| [05:03] | I’m sorry you mismanaged your pond! | 我很遗憾你没管好自己的池塘 |
| [05:05] | I don’t mismanage my pond. I pay people to manage my pond. | 我当然有管好自己的池塘 我都请人来管理了 |
| [05:08] | Then you mismanaged the people who manage your pond. | 那你就是没管好 帮你管理池塘的人 |
| [05:10] | What are you doing? | 你在干嘛？ |
| [05:12] | Yes, you. I can see you in the mirror. | 对，就是你 我可以透过镜子看到你 |
| [05:16] | Sorry, special delivery. Just… this came for… | 抱歉，我送快递来 这是寄给‥ |
| [05:19] | I… I can just leave it by the door. | 我可以‥放在门边就好 |
| [05:23] | Who’s it from? | 谁寄来的？ |
| [05:24] | I… I think it’s from your sister? | 应该是你妹妹吧？ |
| [05:27] | Oh, shit. | 糟糕 |
| [05:30] | Throw it out. And don’t come back up here again. | 扔掉 别再上来这里 |
| [05:34] | Okay, sorry. | 好的，抱歉 |
| [05:42] | Hey. | |
| [05:45] | If it would make you feel better | 若这样能让你比较好受 |
| [05:46] | I’d be happy to take your diamond tennis bracelet. | 我很乐意接收你的钻石网球手环 |
| [05:51] | I told you, you’ll get that when I’m dead. | 我说过了，死了才会留给你 |
| [05:53] | Okay. | 好啦 |
| [05:56] | I will be reaching out when I know the penalty | 确认罚金之后再跟你联络 |
| [05:59] | and I’ll be back in, like, a month. | －我大约一个月后会再来访 |
| [06:00] | – I’ll be here. – Good to know. | －我不会跑掉 |
| [06:02] | – Have a good day. – You too. | －很好，祝你有美好的一天 －你也是 |
| [06:07] | Who was that? | 那是什么人？ |
| [06:09] | It’s just Wilson. He’s such a pain in our ass. | 那是威尔森 一直跟在我们屁股后面找麻烦 |
| [06:11] | “Our ass”? You and Deborah share an ass? | ＂我们屁股＂？ 你跟黛博拉共用一个屁股吗？ |
| [06:15] | Is there something I can help you with? | 有何贵干吗？ |
| [06:16] | Oh, yeah. | 对了，她要我把这个扔掉 |
| [06:17] | She told me to throw this away, but should I? | 但我该丢掉吗？ |
| [06:19] | – It’s from her sister. – Wait, what? | 这是她妹寄来的 等一下，你说什么？ |
| [06:23] | You brought this to her? | 你把这个拿给她吗？ |
| [06:24] | Yeah, she was so nice about it. Sweet woman. | 对，她态度超和善 真是亲切的女士 |
| [06:28] | Kathy’s never sent anything before. | 凯西从没寄来任何东西 |
| [06:30] | I can’t believe she’s not curious. | 她竟然不好奇内容是什么 |
| [06:32] | Well, her husband left her for her own sister | 她丈夫为了她亲妹妹跟她离婚 |
| [06:33] | and then Deborah burned down his house | 然后黛博拉烧了他的房子 |
| [06:35] | so let’s call it a sore spot. | 这是她的伤心事 |
| [06:36] | Yeah, but she makes jokes about it constantly. | 对，不过她一直拿这件事开玩笑 |
| [06:39] | Plus that was, like, a hundred years ago. | 而且这都多久的事了 |
| [06:40] | Well, I guess you’ve got it all figured out. | 我想你都很清楚了 |
| [06:42] | – You… you’re not gonna open it? – No. | －你不打开看看吗？ －不要 |
| [06:45] | What if there’s a gift card in there? | 万一里面是礼品卡呢？ |
| [06:47] | She said throw it away. | 她说了要扔掉 |
| [06:49] | And I believe you have some archiving to do. | 而且你应该还有些 建档的工作要做吧 |
| [06:51] | And I’d like it done soon. We’re putting together | 愈快完成愈好 |
| [06:53] | a “Best of Deborah” DVD for the anniversary show. | 我们要做＂黛博拉精选辑＂光碟 周年秀要贩售 |
| [06:55] | Yeah, I’ll get right on that. A lot of money in DVDs right now. | 好，我马上弄 现在光碟市场正好赚 |
| [06:59] | Sorry, I just don’t love running tech in the basement all day. | 抱歉，我只是不喜欢 整天待在地下室操作仪器 |
| [07:03] | Well, we do have a gig later, so I’m sure | 我们之后有一场表演 |
| [07:05] | you’ll get to display your genius there. | 到时候你肯定有机会一展长才 |
| [07:09] | Great, I’ll be by the water heater if you need me. | 太好了，要找我的话 我就在热水器旁边 ＂黛博拉凡斯，金钱宝贝＂ ＂轻松小品＂ |
| [07:29] | I love being in London. | 我喜欢待在伦敦 |
| [07:31] | But everything is so different here. | 但这里的一切都迥然不同 |
| [07:33] | You know, in America, if I wanna drive | 你也知道，在美国 |
| [07:35] | on the wrong side of the road | 如果我逆向行驶 |
| [07:37] | I gotta get in the car with Billy Joel. | 得跟比利乔伊共乘 |
| [07:41] | No, really, I don’t love cooking, but I do hate it. | 说真的 我不喜欢煮饭，真的很讨厌 |
| [07:45] | Last night, I tried to make collard greens. | 昨晚，我试着做羽衣甘蓝 |
| [07:48] | This morning, I woke up to a cease-and-desist | 今天早上起床就收到 |
| [07:50] | from the NAACP. | 全美有色人种协进会的禁制令 |
| [07:54] | Damn! | 要命 |
| [07:58] | Now, her career is going up in flames | 现在她的事业付之一炬 |
| [08:00] | faster than my ex-husband’s garage. | 烧得比我前夫的车库还快 |
| [08:03] | Duraflame. | ＂杜拉燃料＂ |
| [08:05] | Starts faster, burns longer. | 起火快，烧得久 |
| [08:08] | Take it from me, someone who really knows | 听我的准没错，我可是放火专家 |
| [08:11] | how to set the night on fire. | |
| [08:13] | Now, the pilgrims had the right idea. | 现在这些清教徒想通了 |
| [08:16] | Oh, oh, get over it. | 算了吧 |
| [08:17] | Oh, yeah, like you wouldn’t grab Patrick Swayze’s ass. | 对啦，别装得好像你不想 抓一把派屈克史威兹的屁股 |
| [08:20] | Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and I do care. | 吉米折断了玉米，我很介意 ＂露比罗杰＂ ＂我想你＂ ＂我也想你＂ |
| [09:31] | Oh, f**k, no! | 可恶，不会吧 |
| [09:46] | Okay, I think what we have here is a pretty classic | 我想我们之间有着 |
| [09:49] | generational misunderstanding, you know? | 典型因代沟造成的误解 |
| [09:51] | It’s very normal for people my age to send nudes. | 对我这个年纪的年轻人来说 传送裸照很平常 |
| [09:55] | It’s… it’s about having agency over our sexuality. | 这代表我们主掌自己的性欲 |
| [09:59] | Oh, I’m not judging you. | 我没有批判你 |
| [10:01] | I mean, I just don’t think you need to send a boy a nude | 我只是认为你不需要 传送裸照给男生 |
| [10:03] | just because he asked you to. | 就只因为他开口要 |
| [10:05] | Okay, well, for your information, it was a girl | 好吧，先告诉你 对象是个女生 |
| [10:07] | and she didn’t ask me to. | －而且她没要求 |
| [10:08] | Oh, no. | －不会吧 |
| [10:11] | Just do it when you’re off the clock. | 下班再传吧 |
| [10:13] | Would you do that if you worked in a bank? | 如果你在银行上班会这么做吗？ |
| [10:14] | It depends, am I the president of this bank? | 看情况 我是这间银行的总裁吗？ |
| [10:17] | ‘Cause then I’m probably a white-collar criminal. | 因为如果是这样 我可能是白领罪犯 |
| [10:19] | I’m doing way worse than sending nudes. | 我会犯下比传裸照更严重的事 |
| [10:20] | No! | 不是 |
| [10:22] | You read more like a junior teller. | 你看起来更像菜鸟出纳员 |
| [10:25] | Just don’t do it on my time | 别在上班时间 |
| [10:28] | or in my chair. | 或在我的椅子上传 |
| [10:31] | It’s an antique. | 那可是骨董椅 |
| [10:33] | Deal. | 说定了 |
| [10:37] | – Hey. Was traffic all right? – Yeah, not bad. | 交通状况还好吧？ |
| [10:40] | Are they ready? | 还不赖，准备好了吗？ |
| [10:41] | Yeah, Phil from corporate and the photographers are inside. | 好了，公司派来的菲尔 和摄影师都到了 |
| [10:43] | Do you want to do touch-ups in the bathroom? | 你要去洗手间补妆吗？ |
| [10:44] | – Yeah, sure that’s fine. – All right. | －好啊 －好的 ＂盛大开幕＂ |
| [10:48] | Wait, what? A pizza place? | 等等，搞什么？ 我们要去比萨店吗？ |
| [10:51] | What I’m I supposed to be doing here for you? | 我在这里能帮上什么忙？ |
| [10:53] | It’s a grand opening. So there’s press. | 这是盛大开幕仪式，台下有媒体 |
| [10:56] | So pitch me some one-liners and some bits. | 帮我写一些一句笑话或业内趣事 |
| [10:59] | Like about pizzas and calzones? | 关于比萨和披萨饺吗？ |
| [11:02] | They don’t have calzones. | 他们没卖披萨饺 |
| [11:04] | A gig’s a gig, honey. | 秀就是秀，亲爱的 |
| [11:06] | Hello, my “Little Debbies”! | 大家好，我的小黛比们 |
| [11:10] | Hey, bitch, you know where to sign me! | －贱人，你知道要签哪里 |
| [11:11] | Hey, how are you? Oh, honey, I’m so glad you’re better. | －你好吗？ 亲爱的，很高兴你好多了 |
| [11:15] | Jesus, I can’t believe this is what she’s doing today. | 天啊，她今天的工作竟然是这个 |
| [11:18] | The opening of a pizza franchise? Is it seriously worth it? | 连锁比萨店的开幕仪式？ 这工作真的值得接吗？ |
| [11:21] | It’s worth about a hundred grand and some stock. | 报酬是十万元加上一些股票 |
| [11:24] | – A hundred grand? – And some stock. | －十万元？ －加上一些股票 |
| [11:26] | Jesus Christ, that’s like my mortgage for, like, two years. | 我的天啊，这笔钱 差不多能付我两年贷款 |
| [11:29] | Or is it four? | 搞不好能付四年？ |
| [11:32] | You’re a homeowner? | 你有房子吗？ |
| [11:34] | Yeah, I own a townhouse in LA. | 对，我在洛杉矶有间联排别墅 |
| [11:37] | An amazing city I am no longer in. | 很棒的城市 但我现在不住那边了 |
| [11:39] | Are you renting it? | 租出去了吗？ |
| [11:41] | No, ’cause I don’t know when I’m gonna be back. | 没有，因为我搞不好 随时都会回去住 |
| [11:44] | All right, put your address into Zillow. | 把地址输入这个房地产程式 |
| [11:46] | This is my curse. I can’t just sit and watch | 我就是无法眼睁睁 |
| [11:48] | someone miss an opportunity like this. | 看别人让这样的好机会溜走 |
| [11:51] | Just glad my grandfather isn’t around to see me | 幸好我祖父不在这里 |
| [11:52] | help some white girl make passive income. | 看我帮一个白人女孩 获得一些被动收入 |
| [11:55] | This is cute. | 房子很不错 |
| [11:57] | Oh, you paid too much. | 你买贵了 |
| [11:59] | Yeah, I know. | 是啊，我知道 |
| [12:00] | All right, I’m gonna help you rent this. | 好吧，我帮你租出去 |
| [12:03] | – I’ll make some calls. – Really? Man, that’s… | －我来打几通电话 |
| [12:06] | that’s actually really nice. | －真的吗？ 你人真的太好了 |
| [12:07] | – Oh, I will be taking a monthly fee. – Okay. | 我每个月都会收手续费 好喔 |
| [12:12] | Oh, you have service. I don’t. | 你的手机有讯号啊，我的没有 |
| [12:14] | There’s no way I could log in to my Instagram on your phone, right? | 我不能在你的手机上 登入社群网站吧？ |
| [12:16] | – Absolutely not. – Okay, thanks. | 当然不行 好吧，谢谢 |
| [12:20] | – Damien? – Sorry. I don’t have unlimited data. | －戴米恩，你呢？ －抱歉，我的网路不是吃到饱 |
| [12:24] | – One, two, three! – Okay. | －一，二，三 －好啦 |
| [12:29] | Hey, my Little Debbies, pizza’s on me! | 我的小黛比们，大家好 比萨我请客 |
| [12:35] | Hey, do you guys have Wi-Fi? | 这里有无线网路吗？ |
| [12:37] | It’s not set up yet, but they do next door at Gun Universe. | 还没开通，不过隔壁的枪店有 |
| [12:41] | – Great. Do you know the password? – “Lock her up.” | 太好了，你知道密码吗？ 密码是＂把她关起来＂ |
| [12:46] | The signal’s stronger outside. | 外面讯号比较强 |
| [12:48] | Hey, stop flirting. Get over here. | 别打情骂俏了，快过来 |
| [12:52] | – Do you have anything for me? – Yes. | －你帮我想到什么笑话了吗？ －有 |
| [12:54] | Okay, so I once did a 25-tweet thread | 我曾发了一条 有２５则推文的推文串 |
| [12:57] | from the perspective of my Lexapro and it did really well | 以我的抗忧郁药的角度写成 反应非常好 |
| [13:00] | so I’m thinking, what if you do something | 所以我想说若从比萨食材的角度 |
| [13:02] | from the perspective of the pizza ingredients? | 来说一段脱口秀如何？ |
| [13:04] | You know, like, what if the cheese and pepperoni have history? | 例如，如果乳酪和腊肠 有过爱恨纠葛呢？ |
| [13:08] | What? | 什么？ |
| [13:09] | Or, I don’t know, toss the dough in the air | 不然把面团抛向空中 |
| [13:13] | try to get it to land on your head? | 让它掉在你头上呢？ |
| [13:15] | Great. | 很好 |
| [13:17] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [13:20] | You think these are big now? | 你觉得这样够大了吗？ |
| [13:22] | Wait till they rise! | 等它们发起来再说吧 ＂照片，已读＂ |
| [13:31] | F**k. | 可恶 |
| [13:35] | Man, that smells good! All right, step right up. | 天啊，太香了 |
| [13:38] | Anybody, don’t be shy! What are you having? | 好了，大家过来吧，别害羞 你要吃什么，腊肠？ |
| [13:39] | – Pepperoni! – Hey, so I can have a friend | 我找朋友去布置你的房子 |
| [13:40] | stage your place, but he needs a key to get in. | 不过要有钥匙才进得去 |
| [13:43] | Oh, you know what? My ex actually has a key | 我前女友有备份钥匙 |
| [13:44] | but can I use your phone to call her? | 能借我电话让我打给她吗？ |
| [13:46] | I don’t have service. Like, it’s not going through | 我手机没讯号 |
| [13:48] | – with my calls, I just… – All right, fine… | －怎么都打不通，我只是‥ －好啦‥ |
| [13:49] | – Just make it quick. – Thank you so much. | －快点打完 |
| [13:51] | – I really appreciate it. – Yeah. | －感谢你，太感激了 |
| [14:00] | Hi, it’s Ruby. Leave a message. | 你好，我是露比，请留言 |
| [14:03] | Hey, it’s Ava. | 你好，我是艾娃 |
| [14:04] | So, first of all… | 所以，首先‥ |
| [14:07] | just go ahead and disregard the picture I sent you. | 请直接无视我寄给你的照片 |
| [14:10] | So just don’t even… | 不要‥对，不要‥ |
| [14:12] | yeah, don’t even like it didn’t even happen. | 就当这件事没发生过 |
| [14:14] | I’m calling, actually, because you have a key | 其实我打来是因为 |
| [14:17] | to my apartment, and I need it. | 你还留有我公寓的钥匙 |
| [14:19] | So if you could just call me back | 我需要那把钥匙 所以如果你能回电就‥ |
| [14:20] | that would be… Oh, that’s probably you. | 可能是你打来了 ＂水利警察威尔森＂ |
| [14:25] | Okay, no, it’s not. | 好吧，不是你 |
| [14:27] | Oh, you know what? You’re probably not picking up | 可能因为是陌生号码你才没接 |
| [14:29] | ’cause it’s a weird number. I’m gonna hang up | 我挂电话后传讯息给你 |
| [14:30] | and text you that it’s me. I’m gonna call you right back. | 表明身份再打给你 |
| [14:34] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [14:41] | – Who is this? – Ava. | 你哪位？ 我是艾娃 |
| [14:44] | Oh, God. It’s Fabriziana. | 天啊，我是法布里奇安娜 |
| [14:46] | Oh, hey, what’s going on? | 你好吗？ |
| [14:47] | I’m only picking up Ruby’s phone because it keeps going off. | 因为电话响个不停 我才帮露比接 |
| [14:50] | – You just ruined a take. – Oh, shit. | 你毁了一场戏 |
| [14:51] | My bad. I’m sorry. | 糟糕，是我不好，抱歉 |
| [14:53] | Is it true you’re working for Deborah Vance? | 你真的为黛博拉凡斯工作吗？ |
| [14:57] | Yeah, I mean, it’s kind of research for something | 对啊，我是在做研究 |
| [15:01] | that I’m working… A project. | 为了我在进行的一个‥计划 |
| [15:03] | So you’re writing for her QVC show? | 所以你要帮她写 购物台节目的剧本吗？ |
| [15:06] | No, she’s actually a very successful comedian | 不是，她其实是位 非常成功的喜剧演员 |
| [15:10] | with a historic residency. | 有着丰富的驻场演出经历 |
| [15:11] | Ava, she needs jokes on side salads! | 艾娃，她需要附餐沙拉的笑话 |
| [15:16] | Well, we’re rolling again, so… | －又要开始拍摄了，所以‥ |
| [15:19] | Yeah, us too. I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later, bye. | －对，我们也是，我得挂了 晚点聊，再见 |
| [15:26] | A very happy client. | 客户非常满意 |
| [15:28] | Here, you missed a call from the water guy. | 拿去，你错过了一通 水利家伙的来电 |
| [15:30] | Oh, Deb, what if we get a photo with you, like | 小黛，我们拍张照如何？ |
| [15:33] | with the pizza on fire, you know? | 背景是着火的比萨 |
| [15:36] | – That’s hilarious! – Don’t do that. | 太爆笑了 别那么做 |
| [15:40] | – Excuse me? – It’s degrading. | 你说什么？ 那样会拉低格调 |
| [15:43] | Degrading for who? | 拉低谁的格调？ |
| [15:45] | You? | 你啊？ |
| [15:47] | Oh, and you’re telling me what’s degrading? | 你想跟我谈格调吗？ |
| [15:50] | See, I knew were judging me for that nude. | 你看，我就知道 你想批判我拍裸照 |
| [15:53] | Okay. You don’t have to. | 好啦，你不一定要拍 |
| [15:55] | – No… I think it’s funny. – Really? | 不会‥我觉得很有趣 |
| [15:58] | ‘Cause I think if you thought it was funny | 是吗，如果你真觉得有趣 |
| [15:59] | you would have opened that package this morning. | 早上就会打开那个包裹 |
| [16:11] | This is what I do. | 这就是我的作风 |
| [16:13] | If you have a problem with it, you can just f**k off. | 如果你有意见的话，就给我滚 |
| [16:16] | Simone! | 西蒙，在我脸上涂点煤灰 |
| [16:18] | Now, let’s do some soot | 头发梳高一点 |
| [16:20] | tease the hair up a little bit. | ＂我不明白这个命运游戏＂ ＂快把我逼疯了＂ |
| [16:41] | – Is she gonna kill me? – Well, that wasn’t great. | －她会杀了我吗？ －看来不太妙 |
| [16:44] | And unfortunately for you, her afternoon just freed up | 对你来说雪上加霜的是 她下午的时间刚空出来了 |
| [16:46] | and she does not like idle time. | 而她不喜欢有空闲 |
| [16:52] | So the St. Jude’s people | 圣裘德那边的人 |
| [16:54] | rescheduled today’s Skype for next week. | 把今天的视讯会议延到下周 |
| [16:56] | Oh, okay. So then what? | 好的，然后呢？ |
| [16:59] | It looks like you have the rest of the afternoon off. | 看来你整个下午都没事了 |
| [17:15] | Okay, I’m sorry for what I said, but I was just in a really… | 我要为刚才说的话道歉 －不过我刚刚处在一个非常‥ |
| [17:17] | – Pull over. – What? | －靠边停 干嘛？ |
| [17:26] | Come on! | 来吧 |
| [17:34] | That’s right, that’s the Luxor light. | 没错，那是乐蜀酒店之光 |
| [17:35] | It’s the strongest light beam in the world | 是全世界最强的光线 |
| [17:37] | could be seen from over 300 miles away. | ３００哩外就看得见 |
| [17:39] | Now, that’s bright. | 没错，非常亮 |
| [17:41] | All right, listen up, y’all. This doesn’t happen often | 各位听好了 这种事不常有 |
| [17:43] | but when it does, it’s always a treat. | 不过一旦发生，大家就有福了 |
| [17:47] | Ladies and gentlemen, I’m pleased to present | 各位女士先生 我很荣幸向各位介绍‥ |
| [17:50] | the Queen of Sin City herself, Ms. Deborah Vance, y’all! | 这座罪恶城市的女王本人 |
| [17:56] | Hey, you guys, thank you! | 黛博拉凡斯小姐 谢谢各位 |
| [17:59] | Thanks, sweetie. Thank you… | 谢谢你，亲爱的，谢谢 谢谢你‥ |
| [18:03] | You know, I have lived in Vegas for almost 30 years. | 我住在拉斯维加斯将近３０年了 |
| [18:06] | I have a story for every corner you can see. | 你看到的每个角落都有我的回忆 |
| [18:09] | I mean… oh, that telephone pole | 我是说‥那根电线杆 |
| [18:11] | my daughter once wrapped her car around that pole | 我女儿有一次开车直接撞上去 |
| [18:14] | and I had to pay to replace it. | 我还得赔钱换一根新的 |
| [18:16] | Of course, I’m not the first person to pay | 当然，这座城市里 |
| [18:18] | for stiff wood in this town. | 花钱买硬木头的人多得是 |
| [18:19] | What? | 怎样啦？ |
| [18:21] | Now, that’s Vegas for you. | 这就是拉斯维加斯 |
| [18:22] | You, sir, what do you do? | 先生，请问你做哪一行？ |
| [18:23] | – I’m a doctor. – Oh, I love doctors. | －我是医生 －我爱医生 |
| [18:26] | Some of my most intimate relationships | 我有好几段最亲密的关系 |
| [18:28] | have been with doctors… | 对象都是医生 |
| [18:30] | at my physical. | 在体检的时候 |
| [18:33] | No, seriously, if you have the right health insurance | 说真的，健康保险保得好 |
| [18:35] | there is no need to date. | 没有约会也没烦恼 |
| [18:39] | Hey, you, the sad little girl with the big hands | 那边那位有着一双大手的 悲伤小女孩 |
| [18:41] | where are you from? Yeah, her in the blue. | 你是哪里人？ 对，穿蓝衣服那位 |
| [18:46] | – Los Angeles. – Oh, Hollywood. | 我是洛杉矶人 好莱坞 |
| [18:49] | You know what they say. | 大家都说那里的人 |
| [18:50] | Everybody there is so vapid and obsessed with image. | 全都很愚蠢又顾影自怜 |
| [18:52] | Well, clearly not. | 很明显并非如此 |
| [18:54] | You know, just asking for a friend | 这是帮我朋友问的 |
| [18:56] | which landscaping company did your hair? | 你的发型是哪间园艺公司做的？ |
| [18:59] | Oh, I kid… I actually know this young lady. | 开玩笑的‥ 其实我认识这位年轻女士 |
| [19:04] | She is a new employee of mine. | 她是我的新员工 |
| [19:08] | But she did tell me that a joke I do is degrading to me. | 不过她确实告诉我 我开了一个会拉低格调的玩笑 |
| [19:12] | And I thought, “Well, that’s rich,” because this morning | 我心想太可笑了 |
| [19:15] | I found her taking a nude selfie. | 因为今天早上 我才看到她裸体自拍 |
| [19:19] | Oh, no, don’t get too excited. | 别这样，别太兴奋 |
| [19:21] | I haven’t seen breasts that pale and sad | 我上次看到 那么苍白又垂头丧气的胸部 |
| [19:23] | since I toured the Tyson Chicken factory. | 是之前去鸡肉工厂参观的时候了 |
| [19:26] | She never toured the Tyson Chicken factory. | 她才没参观过鸡肉工厂 |
| [19:28] | Folks, you should have seen her running around all day | 各位，你们应该看看 她整天跑来跑去 |
| [19:30] | refreshing that little phone. | 不断刷新手机 |
| [19:32] | Didn’t get one response to that nude. | 结果那张裸照完全没得到回应 |
| [19:36] | – Ouch! – Can you imagine? | 你能想像吗？ |
| [19:38] | I mean, that would be like going up to Harvey Weinstein’s hotel suite | 这就像去到 哈维温斯坦的旅馆套房 |
| [19:41] | and him saying, “You know what? Let’s just find a conference room.” | 却只得到一句 ＂这样吧 我们去找间会议室＂ |
| [19:47] | Oh, the trouble with gingers… | 红发女人的问题就是‥ |
| [19:49] | Do you think if I jumped, I’d die, or just break my legs? | 你觉得我跳下去会死 还是只会摔断腿？ |
| [19:52] | Vegas, you know, we’re like Mecca | 拉斯维加斯其实就像麦加 |
| [19:54] | but instead of Muslims, we attract people | 不过我们吸引的不是穆斯林 |
| [19:56] | with bad tattoos and low credit scores. | 而是身上有丑刺青 信用评分又很低的人 |
| [20:02] | Barry, Cara, Mommy’s home… | 巴瑞，卡拉，妈妈回来了‥ |
| [20:05] | You want a treat? Let’s get a treat. Come on, here we go… | 你们要吃点心吗？ 去拿点心吧，走吧‥ |
| [20:09] | Oh, hey, thanks for the key. | －谢谢你的钥匙 －什么？ |
| [20:12] | – What? – Your friend put the key | 你朋友把钥匙放在你公寓门垫下 |
| [20:14] | to your apartment under your mat. | |
| [20:15] | My guy said your stuff is mostly in boxes | 我朋友说你的东西都还没拆箱 |
| [20:17] | so he put them in storage. | 所以都放进仓库了 |
| [20:18] | And I should have it rented by next week. | 下周应该就能租出去 |
| [20:19] | Oh, okay. | 好的 |
| [20:22] | “Thank you, Marcus. You look so good today, Marcus.” | ＂谢谢，马可斯＂ ＂你今天好帅喔，马可斯＂ |
| [20:26] | That girl. Just no class. | 那女孩真没家教 |
| [20:35] | Hey, did you get the key? | 你拿到钥匙了吗？ |
| [20:37] | Yeah, I got it. | 拿到了 ＂六号片场＂ |
| [20:41] | You really shouldn’t have sent that photo. | 你真的不该寄那张照片 |
| [20:43] | – But you said you missed me. – I do miss you. | －不过你说你想我 －我确实想你 |
| [20:46] | As a friend. | 以朋友的身份 |
| [20:47] | I’m back with Kelly, and you know that. | 我跟凯莉复合了，你也知道 |
| [20:49] | Well, she didn’t make you happy the first time | 她第一次并没能让你幸福 |
| [20:52] | so I was just reading between the lines. | 所以我只是读出了你话中有话 |
| [20:53] | Ava, dude. | 艾娃，朋友 |
| [20:55] | – I’m having déjà vu. – What? | －我有种似曾相识的感觉 －什么？ （西语） |
| [21:00] | I hate when you yell at me in Spanish! | 我最讨厌你用西语吼我 |
| [21:03] | I’m not that far in Duolingo. | 我在语言学习软体 还没到那个等级 |
| [21:05] | This is exactly why we broke up. | 这就是我们分手的原因 |
| [21:07] | You think that you know everybody better than they know themselves. | 你总觉得你比每个人 都更了解他们自己 |
| [21:11] | Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry, I… | 你说得对，我很抱歉，我‥ |
| [21:14] | I’m sorry. I just… | 对不起，我只是‥ |
| [21:19] | I’m just having a really hard time, you know? | 只是最近很难熬，你知道吗？ |
| [21:21] | I wanna work on stuff that’s… I don’t know, meaningful. | 我想做一些‥ 我也不知道 更有意义的事情吧 |
| [21:25] | I’m just spending my days writing for this woman | 而我只是在花时间 帮这个女人写笑话 |
| [21:27] | who… she just kicks people when they’re down | 她只会落井下石 |
| [21:29] | including herself. | 对她自己也是 |
| [21:31] | Well, that must be hard on you. | 那你一定很难受 |
| [21:36] | How’s your dad doing? | 你爸爸好吗？ |
| [21:37] | He’s… alive. | 他‥还活着 |
| [21:41] | Okay, back to what’s actually important. | 好了，言归正传吧 |
| [21:44] | So I’m hearing that you didn’t like the nude? | 所以你的意思是 你不喜欢那张裸照吗？ |
| [21:47] | Is that possible? | 这有可能吗？ |
| [21:49] | No comment. | 不予置评 |
| [21:52] | Hey, if you’re in Vegas | 如果你在拉斯维加斯 |
| [21:53] | you really need to start wearing sunscreen. | 那真的应该开始擦防晒乳 |
| [21:56] | Well, yeah, but then I would have to start washing my face at night | 对，不过这样 我晚上就得开始洗脸了 |
| [22:00] | – and you know I’m not gonna do that. – Right, of course you’re not. | 你知道我不会这么做 对啦，你当然不会 |
| [22:04] | Anyway, how are you? | 总之，你好吗？ |
| [22:06] | I’m actually great | 我过得很不错，不过我得挂了 |
| [22:07] | – but I do have to go. – Okay. | 好吧 |
| [22:10] | Bye, Ava. | 再见，艾娃 |
| [22:12] | Bye. | 再见 |
| [22:19] | Oh, my God! | 我的天啊 |
| [22:30] | Shoes off. | 鞋子脱掉 |
| [22:57] | Oh, and we got a call about a regional corporate retreat | 我们接到电话 |
| [22:59] | for ADT Security. They’re looking for an MC. | 说保全公司的区域员工研习会 需要一位主持人 |
| [23:02] | Any other letters I should know about? | 还有其他该告诉我的资讯吗？ |
| [23:04] | “K,” as in 50K. | ＂酬劳＂，五万元 |
| [23:08] | What do you think? | 你觉得呢？ |
| [23:10] | I think it should be 75. But I can get ’em there. | 我认为７万５千元才合理 我有办法谈到那个价 |
| [23:17] | – Book it. – Love. | －接下来吧 －太好了 |
| [23:20] | And that’s all I have for you today. | 今天的工作汇报结束 |
| [23:23] | Marcus, what would I do without you? | 马可斯，没有你我该怎么办？ |
| [23:26] | I think you’d be fine. | 我觉得你也会很好 |
| [23:29] | Oh, you know what? Have the grounds guys | 叫园艺工人降低洒水器水量吧 |
| [23:31] | cut back on the sprinklers. | |
| [23:32] | I don’t want to ever have to see that water Nazi again. | 我不想再看到那个水利纳粹了 |
| [23:35] | Sure. | 没问题 ＂黛博拉，这些是你的东西 请打电话给我，凯西＂ ＂黛博拉凡斯大突破＂ ＂电视界当红女主持 黛博拉凡斯能缔造历史吗？＂ ＂时代杂志＂ ＂黛博拉来了＂ ＂１９７６年９月５日＂ 好了 ＂黛博拉凡斯深夜秀 未播出首播集＂ |
| [25:12] | Ladies and gentlemen | 女士先生们，欢迎收看 |
| [25:14] | welcome to “Late Night with Deborah Vance.” | ＂黛博拉凡斯深夜秀＂ |
| [25:17] | Now, please welcome the one, the only, Deborah Vance. | 掌声欢迎独一无二的 黛博拉凡斯 |
| [25:25] | Thank you… | 谢谢大家‥ |
| [25:27] | Now, do not adjust your TV sets. | 别转台 |
| [25:30] | This is “Late Night,” and yes, I am a woman. | 现在是深夜 而且没错，我是女人 |
| [25:34] | I know it’s very confusing. | 我明白大家都很困惑 |
| [25:36] | My accountant didn’t even know what to put on my tax returns | 我的会计师甚至不知道 怎么帮我填纳税申报单 |
| [25:38] | so he just wrote “mouthy broad.” | 所以他只写了＂长舌妇＂ |
| [25:42] | But I really love being in charge. | 但我真的很喜欢大权在握 |
| [25:44] | My very first order of business was to make sure | 我的首要任务 |
| [25:47] | the workplace was safe for all the ladies. | 就是确保工作环境 对所有女性来说都安全 |
| [25:50] | So on day one, I gave every man a pair of mittens… | 所以在第一天 我就给每个男人一双手套 |
| [25:54] | and every woman a gun. | 并给每个女人一把枪 |
| [25:58] | And that was just the start. | 这只是第一步而已 |
| [26:00] | Next, I instituted a breastfeeding room. | 接下来，我坚持要辟一间哺乳室 |
| [26:04] | The only problem was | 唯一的问题是 |
| [26:05] | those executives were really hungry. | 那些行政主管真的很饿 |
| [26:08] | But I actually do think about this show | 不过我真的把这个节目 |
| [26:10] | the way I think about my babies. | 当成我的孩子 |
| [26:12] | I conceived both with Merv Griffin. | 两样都是跟梅夫格里芬生的 |
| [26:15] | Knowing Merv, he’s gonna wanna cancel it | 我知道梅夫一定会想在 |
| [26:17] | in the first trimester. | 首个孕期就取消这个节目 |
| [26:19] | Oh, get over it. | 算了吧，现在堕胎合法 |
| [26:22] | Abortion is legal now, thanks to Roe v. Wade. | 多亏了罗诉韦德案 |
| [26:26] | And thank God, ’cause back in Berkeley | 谢天谢地，因为在柏克莱 |
| [26:27] | all we had was “sophomore v. staircase.” | 大二学生要流产 只能从楼梯摔下来 |
| [26:44] | Before we… | 节目结束前，我有话想说 |
| [26:45] | before we say goodbye there’s something I just want to say. | |
| [26:50] | Tonight has been the honor of my life. | 今晚是我这辈子最荣耀的一夜 |
| [26:55] | It’s always been a dream of mine, and… | 这是我长久以来的梦想 |
| [26:58] | I’m just so… oh, I’m such a big baby. | 我非常‥我真是不成熟 |
| [27:01] | Yeah, get over here… | 过来吧‥ |
| [27:03] | I’m just so proud to host this show | 我很荣幸能主持这个节目 |
| [27:06] | and I’m even more proud to share it with my family. | 更自豪的是能和我的家人 分享这一切 |
| [27:11] | Frank, my husband. | 我的老公法兰克 |
| [27:14] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [27:15] | And Kathy, my sister and my best friend | 还有凯西 我的妹妹，也是我最好的朋友 |
| [27:18] | and to that little munchkin who’s in your arms. | 还有在你怀里的那个小家伙 |
| [27:25] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [27:27] | Okay, all right. Hang on. | 好的，等一下 |
| [27:29] | Yeah? Okay, come here, baby. | 是吗？ |
| [27:31] | Come here… | 宝贝，过来‥ 好了，你会说＂明晚见＂吗？ |
| [27:33] | Oh, all right. Can you say | 明晚见 |
| [27:35] | – “See you tomorrow night”? – See you tomorrow night! | 待续 谢谢观赏 |