| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | Sneaking out in the morning without saying goodbye? | |
| [00:09] | I thought you just did that to aspiring backup dancers. | 我以为你只会那样对待 追梦的伴舞舞者 |
| [00:13] | I’m not leaving just yet. | 我可还没要离开 |
| [00:15] | I’m not making you breakfast, if that’s what you’re after. | 要我替你做早餐的话 门儿都没有 |
| [00:19] | There is a story coming out today | ＂评论报＂今天会刊出一则新闻 |
| [00:23] | in the Review-Journal that MC Ludwig | ＭＣ路德维将取代你 |
| [00:26] | is taking over your slot at the Palmetto. | 在帕美托赌场驻场表演 |
| [00:30] | – What? – I’m sorry. | 什么？ 我很遗憾 |
| [00:33] | I’m literally naked here. | 我还全裸躺在这里 |
| [00:36] | I just wanted to tell you myself before you heard it someplace else. | 我是想亲口告诉你 怕你从其他地方听闻 |
| [00:41] | Your 2,500th show is gonna be your last. | 你的第２５００场秀 将是最后一场 |
| [00:44] | What about the… pictures that I have, the photos? | 那我手上那些照片呢？ |
| [00:47] | I’ll take the hit. | 我愿意接受抨击 |
| [00:49] | I have a contract for two more years. | 我的合约还有两年 |
| [00:51] | And I’m buying you out of it. You’ll get your full penalty. | 我出钱解约，你会拿到违约金 |
| [00:54] | This wasn’t just my decision. I have a board to answer to. | 这不是我个人决定的 我得对董事会交代 |
| [00:57] | You know, you didn’t have to have sex with me | 你不必为了减轻打击就跟我上床 |
| [00:58] | to soften the blow. | |
| [01:00] | You’re not that good in bed. | 你床技也还好 |
| [01:02] | No. Look, I wanted to tell you last night | 我昨晚就想告诉你 |
| [01:04] | but then one thing led to another, and… | 但事情接二连三 |
| [01:07] | as much as I enjoyed it | 虽然我很享受 |
| [01:10] | this wasn’t part of the plan. | 但这不是计划好的 |
| [01:14] | You can go now. | 你可以走了 |
| [01:17] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [01:20] | I am truly sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [01:36] | Ava! | 艾娃 |
| [01:39] | – Get up! – How’d you get in here? | －起床 －你怎么进来的？ |
| [01:41] | I paid for the room. I have a key. | 我出的钱当然有钥匙 |
| [01:42] | Get up, we have a whole new hour to write. | 起床，有一小时新内容要写 |
| [01:44] | Wait, what? | －等等，什么，我要先尿尿 |
| [01:45] | – I have to pee. – No. No time. | －没时间了 |
| [01:47] | Marty is buying me out of my contract. | －马提要付钱解我约 －糟糕 |
| [01:49] | – Oh, shit. – We’re gonna do all that | 这次周年表演我们要搬出 |
| [01:50] | unfunny confessional stuff that we’ve been talking about for the anniversary show. | 之前在说的无趣忏悔笑料 |
| [01:53] | It’s gonna be the whole thing. | 把这个当作主轴 |
| [01:54] | – Unfunny? – And it’s gonna be so splashy | －无趣？ －这次一定要够轰动 |
| [01:56] | that another casino will want me | 别的赌场就会签我 |
| [01:57] | and I can tell Marty to go f**k himself. | 我就能叫马提去死一死 |
| [02:00] | Why are you still in bed? | 你怎么还在床上磨蹭？ |
| [02:01] | A full new hour? | 一小时新内容？ |
| [02:03] | D, that show is two weeks away. | 黛，距表演还有两周 |
| [02:04] | First of all, you will absolutely not call me D. | 首先，不准叫我黛 |
| [02:07] | And secondly, yes, I know. It’s a time crunch. | 再者，我知道时间很紧迫了 |
| [02:09] | So come on, grab… the pile. | 快点拾起你的东西 |
| [02:12] | You’re gonna be staying at my house till we’re finished. | 写完之前你要住在我家 |
| [02:14] | Also, you’re gonna start getting up every morning at 7.00. | 还有之后每天早上七点起床 |
| [02:16] | Piece of advice. | 给你良心建议 |
| [02:17] | If Kelly Ripa’s day is already over | 凯莉里帕的一天都结束了 |
| [02:19] | and yours hasn’t even started, you’re in trouble. | 你的一天却还没开始 那你就没救了 |
| [02:22] | What is this? | －这是啥？ |
| [02:23] | That’s my bra bucket. There’s no storage here. | －那是我的内衣篮 |
| [02:25] | No… no, this. | －这里没地方放 －不是‥我说这个 |
| [02:27] | Oh, that’s my matcha latte station. | 是我的抹茶拿铁小茶栈 |
| [02:29] | You’re not bringing that. | 这玩意儿不准带 |
| [02:31] | – Move your ass! – Okay! | －快点动起来 －好啦 |
| [02:40] | So then I started taking diet pills. | 所以后来我开始服用减肥药 |
| [02:42] | But they gave me such terrible headaches | 但我因此头痛得无法入睡 |
| [02:44] | I couldn’t sleep, but I’ll tell you what. | 但我告诉你们 |
| [02:45] | I didn’t miss a second of the OJ trial. | 辛普森案审判我全程看了 |
| [02:47] | Come on, you’ve seen the grape lady. | 你一定看过葡萄姑娘 |
| [02:49] | – I’ve never heard of her. – Okay. Look at this. | 我从没听过 好吧，你看 |
| [02:52] | These buckets are filled with grapes… | 篮子里都是葡萄了 |
| [02:53] | – Okay, fine, you pick. – I want to get sushi. I love | －好吧，你选 －我想吃寿司 |
| [02:56] | – the crab roll from that place. – No. | －我好爱那家的螃蟹寿司卷 －不要 |
| [02:58] | No. That was Alan Alda’s birthday. | 那天是亚伦艾达生日 |
| [03:00] | Who’s that? | 他是谁？ |
| [03:05] | – That’s horrible. – I can’t breathe. | －真是可怕 |
| [03:06] | – Stop. – Play it again. | －我不能呼吸了，住手 再播一次‥ |
| [03:11] | Best two out of three. | 三战两胜 |
| [03:14] | Yes! Crab roll, here I come, baby. | 太好了 螃蟹寿司卷，宝贝我来了 |
| [03:16] | Well, I hear this snap sound. | 我听到碎裂声 当下我就知道骨折了 |
| [03:18] | And I knew that the bone was broken. | ＂写灵媒诈欺我的故事？ 黛，留言＂ |
| [03:29] | Oh, my god. | 天啊，他们忘记送螃蟹寿司卷 |
| [03:31] | They forgot the crab roll! | |
| [03:34] | We’ve been working all day. | 我们工作一整天 |
| [03:35] | You haven’t laughed this hard once. | 你都没笑这么夸张 |
| [03:37] | No, I don’t do insult humor. | 不行，我不搞侮辱喜剧 |
| [03:38] | You insult my hands all the time. | 你一天到晚侮辱我的手 |
| [03:41] | – That’s observational humor. – Oh, my god! | －那叫日常观察喜剧 －天啊 |
| [03:45] | Hey, is it okay if I leave my eyes open? | 我眼睛睁开没关系吧？ |
| [03:47] | – Oh, definitely not. – Why didn’t you tell me? | 当然有关系 |
| [03:49] | You’re young. You’ll be fine. | －你怎么不早说？ －你还年轻，没事的 |
| [03:51] | Hit. | 加牌 |
| [03:53] | – Twenty-one. – Ava wins! | ２１点，艾娃赢了 |
| [03:56] | You don’t always have to sound so surprised. | 你不必每次都讲得这么讶异 |
| [03:59] | Why are you guys going to Sacramento? | 你们为什么要去沙加缅度？ |
| [04:00] | Can’t you just practice it here? | 不能在这边练习就好吗？ |
| [04:02] | ‘Cause if it works there, it’ll work anywhere. | 如果那边能成，到处都能成 |
| [04:05] | Fun fact… | 冷知识 |
| [04:06] | Sacramento is home for one of the only female serial killers. | 史上的少数连环女杀手中 有一位家乡在沙加缅度 |
| [04:12] | What? I know feminist shit too. | 怎样？ 我的女权知识很足 |
| [04:14] | You know, I always thought it was so bizarre | 我一直觉得 |
| [04:16] | that Sacramento is the capital of California. | 加州首都是沙加缅度超奇怪 |
| [04:18] | It’s like Albany being the capital of New York. | 就像奥巴尼是纽约州首都 |
| [04:20] | It feels like someone tried to guess which cities | 仿佛有人在两百年前 |
| [04:22] | were gonna be important, like, 200 years ago | 就在猜哪些城市会变重镇 |
| [04:24] | and now everyone’s afraid to admit that they were wrong. | 但现代人不敢承认前人错了 |
| [04:27] | You know what’s crazy? | 夸张的是 |
| [04:28] | I just listened to that whole thing, and I agree with you. | 我听你讲完竟然有同感 |
| [04:30] | That is crazy. | 是很夸张‥ |
| [04:31] | That is crazy. | ＂老家＂ |
| [04:42] | – Hi. – Hey, kiddo. | 喂？ 喂，孩子？ |
| [04:45] | Oh, Dad, hi! | －爸，你好 |
| [04:46] | – How’s Sin City? – It’s all right. | －万恶城市还好吗？ |
| [04:48] | – How are you feeling? – Great! | 还行，你身体还好吗？ |
| [04:50] | I was just thinking, maybe I could come visit. | 很好啊，我刚刚在想‥ 也许我可以去找你 |
| [04:53] | See your comedian’s show. | 看看你的喜剧表演 |
| [04:55] | You know, I had Woody Allen records back in the day. | 我以前还有伍迪艾伦的唱片 |
| [04:58] | You gotta get rid of those. | 请务必要丢掉 |
| [05:00] | All right, so what’s a good weekend? | 好，那你哪一周方便？ |
| [05:03] | Are you sure you should fly, Dad? | 你确定能搭飞机吗，爸？ |
| [05:04] | – What does Mom think? – Well, you know her. | 妈妈怎么说？ |
| [05:07] | Remember when she wouldn’t let you drive to the mall till you were 19? | 你懂的，记得她要你十九岁 才能开车去购物中心吗？ |
| [05:10] | Yeah, but that was a hectic parking lot and a huge van. | 记得，但那座停车场很满 |
| [05:14] | You know, you’re talking about flying cross-country | 我开的又是大厢型车 |
| [05:17] | a couple months after having a stroke. | 你是想在中风两个月后长途飞行 |
| [05:19] | I’m telling you, I’m fine. | 我就说了我没事 |
| [05:21] | So do you use Travel-o-city.com? | 话说‥ 你用不用线上旅游网站？ |
| [05:27] | You think that’s legit? | －你觉得安全吗？ |
| [05:28] | Yeah. It’s legit, yeah. | －是安全的，对 |
| [05:31] | Hello, period. | 你好，句点 |
| [05:33] | Can’t wait to see you tonight, period. | 等不及今晚见面了，句点 |
| [05:36] | Winky face. | 眨眼表情符号 |
| [05:39] | Delete. | 删除 |
| [05:40] | Delete winky face. | 删除眨眼表情符号 |
| [05:42] | Oh, my god! | 天啊，我一直都很好奇 |
| [05:44] | I’ve always wondered, literally | 到底有谁会用语音输入 |
| [05:46] | who on Earth uses voice to text, and it’s you. | 结果你会用啊 |
| [05:49] | This tracks so hard. | －果不其然 |
| [05:51] | Shouldn’t you be in Sacramento? | －你不是要去沙加缅度？ |
| [05:53] | Yeah, we’re leaving in 20. | 对，我们二十分钟后走 |
| [05:54] | You know, I always thought it was so weird | 我一直觉得加州首都 |
| [05:56] | how Sacramento is the capital of California | 是沙加缅度很奇怪 |
| [05:58] | like how Albany is the capital of New York… | 就像纽约州首都是奥巴尼 |
| [05:59] | – I hope it’s worth it. – What? | 希望这一切都值得 什么？ |
| [06:02] | Do you know she made me clear her schedule | 你知道她叫我取消 |
| [06:04] | for the last two weeks? | 这两周的行程吗？ |
| [06:05] | And Deborah’s built a loyal audience for years. | 黛博拉数年来累积忠实的观众群 |
| [06:09] | And that’s the foundation of our business, so… | 那是我们工作的基础 |
| [06:12] | this whole soul-baring thing sounds very off-brand. | 所以这种袒露心扉的事 听起来很没效益 |
| [06:17] | I guess, but… isn’t that kind of the point? | 大概吧，但‥ 这不就是重点吗？ |
| [06:21] | Potentially alienating her fans, no. | 冒险疏远观众，不对 |
| [06:23] | I’m not sure that should be the point. | －这不应该是重点 －好吧 |
| [06:25] | Okay, well, the new hour was her idea. | 新作品是她提的 |
| [06:27] | And I think it’s great she wants to change. | 她想改变是好事一桩 |
| [06:30] | Oh, and Deborah’s gonna change? | 黛博拉会改变？ |
| [06:33] | – Okay. – Ava, let’s go! | 最好是 艾娃，走了 |
| [06:45] | Delete winky face. | 删除眨眼表情符号 ＂哈哈喜剧俱乐部＂ |
| [06:57] | Oh, they always smell like this. | 这里味道一如从前 |
| [06:59] | – Bad? – Yeah. | －很臭？ －对 |
| [07:03] | Oh, wow. | 天啊 |
| [07:06] | Oh, god. | 天啊，我当时好紧张 |
| [07:08] | Oh, god. I was so nervous then. | |
| [07:12] | I’d been doing stand-up less than a year. | 我做独角喜剧不到一年 |
| [07:14] | But people knew you from your show, right? | 但看你节目就认得你吧？ |
| [07:16] | Not as a stand-up, though. I really had to prove myself. | 但不被当成独角喜剧演员 |
| [07:19] | Every joke had to hit. | 我必须证明自己能耐 每个笑料都要够好 |
| [07:23] | I kind of miss that, you know, having to earn your laughs. | 我挺想念那段时光 须努力赢得笑声 |
| [07:26] | When you get big, there’s no sense of excitement, you know? | 红了之后就不刺激了 |
| [07:29] | No risk that people are gonna hate you. | 没有冒险被讨厌的机会 |
| [07:30] | Hey, hey. | |
| [07:33] | Plenty of people can still hate you. | 还是有很多人会讨厌你 |
| [07:36] | That was good. | 接得好 |
| [07:37] | Oh, wow. | |
| [07:41] | I don’t think they’ve changed the carpet since I was here. | 我看地毯从以前就没换过 |
| [07:44] | There she is, Deborah Vance. | 她来了，黛博拉凡斯 |
| [07:46] | What’s going on? | 你好吗？ |
| [07:49] | Boom. Good to see you. | 幸会 |
| [07:51] | Drew Higgins. I’m hosting tonight. | 德鲁希金斯，今晚的主持人 |
| [07:53] | So I usually do my full set at the end | 我通常会在尾声搬出我的段子 |
| [07:55] | but can’t tonight ’cause you’re here | 但今晚不行，因为你莅临了 |
| [07:57] | real legend, which is very cool. | 真正的传奇人物 这太酷了 |
| [08:00] | Maybe I’ll croak halfway through | 不如我就闹到一半 |
| [08:01] | you can have the last half hour, how’s that? | 最后半小时让你？ |
| [08:03] | That… that’d be great. | 那就太好了 |
| [08:05] | So I’ll take a light at 15 and another one at 5. | 一个聚光灯十五勒克斯 另一个五勒克斯 |
| [08:08] | Okay. I will tell the booth, I guess. | 好，我再告诉控制室 |
| [08:11] | Oh, and there’s a greenroom in the back. | 后面有休息室 |
| [08:12] | – Yeah. – You can drop all your shit there | 东西可以放在那边 |
| [08:13] | and don’t f**k it up. | 别搞砸了 |
| [08:17] | Words to live by. | 人生箴言 |
| [08:19] | I know that is not Deborah Vance! | 不可能是黛博拉凡斯吧 |
| [08:23] | No, honey! | 不可能的 |
| [08:24] | That famous bitch wouldn’t be caught dead | 那个出名的八婆 |
| [08:27] | in a hellhole like this. | 不会死在这种鸟地方吧 |
| [08:28] | Oh, life is cruel, Francine. | 人生很残酷，法兰欣 |
| [08:30] | Life is cruel. Let me look at you. | 让我看看你 |
| [08:34] | You’re incredible. | 你美得不像话 |
| [08:36] | – Well, I better look good! I’m rich! – How? | 当然要美啊，老娘有钱 |
| [08:39] | Well, let’s grab a table and talk some shit. | 我们去坐下来聊是非 |
| [08:42] | Come on! | 走吧 |
| [08:45] | Hi, I’m Ava. | 你好，我是艾娃 |
| [08:54] | – Hi. – Nina, where is it? | －喂？ －妮娜，东西呢？ |
| [08:56] | Dennis! Jesus! | 丹尼斯，得了吧 |
| [08:58] | It’s right next to the Kleenex! | 就在卫生纸旁边 |
| [09:00] | – Mom? – Christ. | －妈？ －要命 |
| [09:01] | Dad’s saying he’s coming to visit you. | 你爸说要去找你 |
| [09:03] | Are you crazy? He cannot come to visit you. | 你疯了吗？ 他不能去找你 |
| [09:06] | Yeah, that’s what I thought. | －我也是这样想的 |
| [09:07] | – I never… – I mean, it’s ridiculous. | －太夸张了 |
| [09:08] | You know that he’s not well. | 你也知道他不舒服 |
| [09:09] | I mean, it can’t happen. It just can’t happen! | 这绝对不行‥ |
| [09:12] | Calm down. I’m agreeing with you. | 冷静，我同意，我没要他来 |
| [09:14] | I didn’t ask him to come. | |
| [09:16] | He just seems to think that he can. | 他似乎觉得自己没问题 |
| [09:17] | Yeah, well, you know, he’s in denial. | 对，他在自欺欺人 |
| [09:19] | He can’t even lift his left arm. | 连左手臂都举不起来了 |
| [09:20] | Yesterday he snapped at me when I told him to let your cousin | 昨天他对我暴怒 |
| [09:23] | put the cover on the outdoor couch. | 我叫他让你表亲帮忙 把户外沙发套起来 |
| [09:25] | You guys got an outdoor couch? | 你们买了户外沙发？ |
| [09:28] | It’s IKEA, we’ll see. | 宜家买的，品质等着瞧 |
| [09:29] | Listen, why don’t you come home this weekend | 不然你这周末回来住个一周 |
| [09:31] | and stay for a week? | |
| [09:33] | He’ll get to see you. He’ll forget all about this trip thing. | 他可以见到你，忘记出远门的事 |
| [09:36] | And then we can get you in with Dr. Taline for your physical. | 我们再帮你安排 找塔林医师做物理治疗 |
| [09:39] | Mom, I’m 25. | 妈，我２５岁了 |
| [09:40] | I can’t see a pediatrician anymore. | 不能再去看儿科 |
| [09:42] | Plus, I can’t just drop everything and fly across the country. | 何况我没办法马上 放下手边的事飞回去 |
| [09:45] | Dr. Taline is wonderful, and your father… | 塔林医师很厉害，你爸‥ |
| [09:48] | I know you told him he can’t travel, but I don’t know, tell him again. | 你跟他说过不能出远门 不然再告诉他一次 |
| [09:51] | – I can’t find it! – Christ on the cross, Dennis! | －我找不到 －该死的，丹尼斯 |
| [09:54] | I said it’s right next to the Kleenex! | 我说就在卫生纸旁边 |
| [09:58] | – Ava… – Okay. | －艾娃 －好‥ |
| [10:00] | He’ll listen to you. I love you. | －他会听你的，我爱你，再见 |
| [10:01] | – I gotta go. Bye. – I’ll see you… Hey… | －我得挂了，再见 |
| [10:04] | Goddamn it! That neighbor’s dog! | 真该死，邻居家的狗 |
| [10:11] | Hello! | 你好 |
| [10:13] | Baby, charcuterie! | 宝贝，有熟食冷肉盘 |
| [10:15] | Mom, what are you doing here? | 妈，你怎么来了？ |
| [10:16] | I DMed you last night. | 我昨晚私讯你啦 |
| [10:19] | I ordered the Royal Rumble on pay-per-view. | 我在付费电视上 订了＂皇家摔角大战＂ |
| [10:21] | On my TV? I offered to get you cable. | 在我的电视上？ 我说过要帮你订有线电视 |
| [10:23] | Baby, quit acting brand-new. | 宝贝，第一天认识我吗？ |
| [10:24] | You know I’m a cord cutter. Where’s the remote? | 你知道我受不了有线电视月费 |
| [10:27] | Okay, Mom, you can’t be here right now. | －遥控器在哪里？ －妈，你现在不能待在这里 |
| [10:28] | Says the boy who squatted in my uterus for ten months? | 在我子宫蹲十个月的家伙说啥？ |
| [10:35] | Oh, shit. | 这样啊 |
| [10:46] | Okay. Mom, this is Wilson. | 好，妈，这位是威尔森 |
| [10:48] | Wilson, my mother, Robin. | 威尔森，她是我妈罗苹 |
| [10:49] | – Oh, hi. – Hi. | 你好‥ |
| [10:52] | Okay, I love him. | 我喜欢这小伙子 |
| [10:54] | – Marcus, don’t f**k this up. – Mom. | 马可斯，别搞砸了 妈 |
| [10:56] | – Hon. What’s it, Wilson? – Yes. Yeah. | 亲爱的，你叫威尔森？ －对 |
| [10:59] | – Come sit. – Oh, thank you. | －过来坐 谢谢 |
| [11:01] | Wilson… you like weed? | 威尔森 |
| [11:04] | Oh, yes, but I’m good right now. | 你喜欢大麻吗？ |
| [11:07] | – Thank you. – Okay. | －喜欢，但现在不必，谢了 －好 |
| [11:09] | Well, we are just about to watch the Royal Rumble! | 我们正要看＂皇家摔角大战＂ |
| [11:12] | – We’re not. – Wait, WWE? | －才没有 －等等，ＷＷＥ？ |
| [11:15] | I was obsessed with the divas in middle school. | 我中学时好爱ＷＷＥ丽人冠军赛 |
| [11:18] | – Really? – Oh, my god. | －真的吗？ －天啊 |
| [11:19] | Ivory, Lita, Jacqueline. | 艾芙力，丽塔，贾桂琳 |
| [11:22] | Oh, and Trish Stratus? Oh, she was everything. | 还有翠许斯特雷徒思 她根本举世无双 |
| [11:24] | Child, now, that girl had quite the chest. | 孩子，那妹子的胸部可大了 |
| [11:28] | That chest postponed my coming out. | 她胸部害我至少晚一年出柜 |
| [11:30] | – I swear, for at least a year. – Stop it, girl! | －少来了，姐妹 |
| [11:32] | Okay, all right, I think Wilson and I | －好了 |
| [11:34] | actually are going to go out for dinner. | 我看我跟威尔森出门吃晚餐吧 |
| [11:37] | – All right. Okay. – Yes. | －好啊，好吧 －对‥ |
| [11:38] | Well, Robin, it was a pleasure to meet you. | 罗苹，见到你我很高兴 |
| [11:41] | And the next time we get together | 下次见面我们再聊贝拉双娇 |
| [11:42] | we’re gonna talk about the Bella Twins. | |
| [11:44] | Do you know that they had their baby a day apart? | 你知道她们的小孩 生日只差一天吗？ |
| [11:45] | Now, that’s some crazy shit. | －超夸张，是不是？ |
| [11:47] | – It was crazy. – It was crazy, right? | －很夸张‥ |
| [11:48] | – Good night, good night, Mom. – Okay, I’m not the only one. | －晚安，妈 －不是只有我这样想 |
| [11:49] | – Good night. – Have a good time! | －晚安 －出门好好玩 |
| [11:52] | Get ready to rumble! | 准备来摔角 |
| [11:54] | I know, I can’t believe it. | 对啊，真不敢相信 |
| [11:57] | How do you two know each other? | 你们俩怎么认识的？ |
| [11:59] | We used to see each other at all the clubs. | 我们以前常在俱乐部看到彼此 |
| [12:02] | But I never spoke to Ms. Deb. | 但我都没跟黛博拉小姐说话 |
| [12:04] | – She was scary. – What? | 她令人生畏 |
| [12:07] | – Me? – No. | －什么？ －我？ |
| [12:09] | Plus, she was the lady from the TV show. | －不可能 －而且她是电视名人 |
| [12:11] | At that time, I was dating this jerk. | 当时我跟一个混帐交往 |
| [12:14] | And one night, after a really bad set | 有天晚上表演很糟糕 |
| [12:18] | I was practically carrying him to my car. | 我还扛着他回我车上 |
| [12:21] | He was a blackout drunk. | 他经常喝到断片 |
| [12:23] | And Ms. Deb helped me load him into my back seat. | 黛博拉小姐帮我一起扛他上后座 |
| [12:27] | Should have been in the trunk. | －早知道扛进后车厢 |
| [12:28] | Oh, yes! | －没错 |
| [12:30] | She told me to drop his ass. | 她叫我甩了他 |
| [12:32] | And after I did, she took me on tour with her. | 我照做之后 她带着我一起巡回 |
| [12:36] | It was just so I could drive in the carpool lane. | 因为我想开上高乘载车道 |
| [12:39] | You bitch. | 你这八婆 |
| [12:41] | You ladies ready to order? | 小姐们准备好点餐了吗？ |
| [12:43] | Can I get a coffee with… do you guys have oat milk? | 我想点咖啡，有燕麦奶能加吗？ |
| [12:46] | No. | 没有 |
| [12:49] | Do you have soy? | 那有豆乳吗？ |
| [12:50] | No, sorry. | 没有，抱歉 |
| [12:51] | Oh, god! | 天啊 |
| [12:53] | The entitled millennial is gonna have to drink 2%. | 特权满满的Ｙ世代 不得不喝减脂牛奶了 |
| [12:57] | Emergency! Somebody get an EpiPen! | 出事了，快拿肾上腺素注射笔来 |
| [13:05] | Oh, god, that is rich. | 天啊，真好笑 |
| [13:07] | Tell me, what exactly do people think millennials are entitled to? | 告诉我 请问Ｙ世代有什么特权？ |
| [13:11] | Oh, god, here we go. | 天啊，要开始了 |
| [13:12] | Expensive-ass health care? | 贵到不行的健保？ |
| [13:14] | The planet ruined by ignoring climate change? | 无视气候变迁 导致环境恶化？ |
| [13:18] | Yeah, the only thing millennials are entitled to | Ｙ世代唯一有权享受的 |
| [13:20] | is our future grandchildren | 是我们未来的孙子‥ |
| [13:21] | running around the desert hellscape | 在地狱般的沙漠跑来跑去 |
| [13:23] | sucking shriveled dicks for water or whatever. | 吸干瘪的老二来取水 |
| [13:26] | And also, most importantly, I’m Gen Z, okay? | 最重要的是我是Ｚ世代 |
| [13:30] | There are millennials who are, like, 40. | 有些Ｙ世代已经四十岁了 |
| [13:34] | So what about black? | 那黑咖啡可以吗？ |
| [13:38] | Yeah, that’s great. Thank you. | 好，可以，谢谢 |
| [13:43] | You know, I would have been | 其实我很乐意跟你妈一起呼麻 |
| [13:45] | more than happy to smoke weed with your mom. | |
| [13:47] | Oh, god, you would have got nothing because she hogs it all. | 天啊，你一口都呼不到 她会全部吸光 |
| [13:50] | Are you guys close? | －你们很亲吗？ |
| [13:51] | We are now, but when I first came out | －现在很亲 |
| [13:52] | she was way less supportive than my Dad, weirdly. | 但我刚出柜时 奇怪的是她比我爸更反对 |
| [13:55] | And after he died, she went way too far in the other direction. | 在他死后，她矫枉过正 |
| [13:58] | I mean, she got me poppers for a stocking stuffer one year. | 她有一年在我圣诞袜里 放情欲芳香剂 |
| [14:01] | – No! – Yes. | －不会吧 |
| [14:02] | And, oh, get this, the other day | －真的，还有啊 |
| [14:03] | I overheard her telling her friend that I’m a vers top. | 前几天我听到她跟朋友说 我是＂不分偏１＂ |
| [14:06] | – Wait, did you tell her? – No! | －你告诉过她？ |
| [14:08] | Oh, god. | －没有，天啊 |
| [14:12] | You know who finally died? | 你知道谁终于死了吗？ |
| [14:14] | Ira. | 埃拉 |
| [14:17] | Now, there’s someone I’m gonna have to try to avoid | 等我下地狱后要回避他 |
| [14:18] | when I get to hell. | |
| [14:20] | I was gonna call you about his funeral | 我本来要打给你 说他丧礼的事 |
| [14:22] | but then I remembered your rule. | 但我想起你的原则 |
| [14:24] | – I don’t do funerals. – No funerals. | －我不参加丧礼 －不搞丧礼 |
| [14:26] | Who was Ira? | 埃拉是谁？ |
| [14:28] | Ira… | 埃拉啊‥ |
| [14:30] | Ira was the proprietor of this club. | 他以前是这间俱乐部的老板 |
| [14:32] | We would have to slide onto the stage with our backs against the wall | 我们都得贴着墙壁走上台 |
| [14:36] | so he wouldn’t grab our asses on the way up. | 才不会被他偷摸屁股 |
| [14:40] | – Oh, my god, ew. – Oh, that was nothing. | 天啊，恶心 没什么啦 |
| [14:43] | I’m convinced he and Cosby had the same pharmacist. | 我相信他跟比尔寇斯比 都找同一位药剂师 |
| [14:46] | Now, you know he used to make the new girls sit on his lap | 你知道他会让新妹子 |
| [14:49] | before he would give them their paychecks? | 坐在他腿上再发薪水吗？ |
| [14:50] | That’s why they called him Old Saint Dick, you know. | 所以他才被叫圣诞老二 |
| [14:55] | – Well, anyway, he’s dead now. – Oh, god. | －总之他死了 －天啊 |
| [14:59] | Dessert, anyone? | 有谁想吃甜点？ |
| [15:01] | – Rock climbing in toe shoes. – No. | 穿分趾鞋去攀岩 |
| [15:03] | Okay. | －不要 －好 |
| [15:04] | We don’t wear toe shoes for rock climbing. | 我们攀岩不穿分趾鞋 |
| [15:06] | But, yes, I do own a pair. | 但我确实有一双 |
| [15:07] | Well, you do you, I don’t kink shame. | 尽管做自己 我不批评怪癖的 |
| [15:09] | Oh, there’s no shame. My toes are beautiful. | 没什么好羞耻，我的脚趾很美 |
| [15:12] | Yes, they are. God. | 的确是，天啊 |
| [15:14] | You know, I’m actually going to Zion next week to go bouldering. | 其实下周我要去 锡安国家公园玩抱石攀岩 |
| [15:17] | Oh, great. | 那很好啊，我没去过 |
| [15:18] | I’ve never been. It sounds lovely. I’d love to go. | 听起来不错，真想去去 |
| [15:20] | Oh, great. | －那好啊 |
| [15:21] | Oh, wait, I’m sorry. | －抱歉，我不是那意思 |
| [15:22] | I didn’t mean to just… I meant sometime. | 我是说之后找时间 |
| [15:25] | I didn’t want to just fully invite myself to your trip. | 我可不想不请自来 |
| [15:28] | – Unless… – No… Okay. | －除非你‥ |
| [15:29] | So, I wanted to invite you. | －没事，我确实想邀请你 |
| [15:30] | I just didn’t want to seem like I was coming on too strong. | 我只是不想表现得太积极 |
| [15:33] | So you want to come? | 你要一起去吗？ |
| [15:36] | Well, it’s not like anybody’s gonna miss me at work | 反正工作也闲着 |
| [15:37] | so… yeah, let’s do it. | 好啊，我们一起去 |
| [15:41] | You are going to love it. | 你一定会喜欢的 |
| [15:43] | Nothing as far as the eye can see, and, like | 一眼望去一片荒芜 |
| [15:45] | there’s barely any cell service, no distractions. | 几乎没有讯号，没人干扰 |
| [15:48] | Just us. | 就只有你我 |
| [15:49] | Cool, cool. | 很好啊‥ |
| [15:53] | I… You know, I’m just gonna wash my hands | 我趁主菜来之前去洗个手 |
| [15:55] | before the entrées come. | |
| [15:56] | – Okay. – Be right back. | 好 马上回来 |
| [16:02] | Oh, that’s good. | 真好喝 ＂代客泊车服务＂ |
| [16:07] | Hey, could you hurry, please? | 可以请你快一点吗？ |
| [16:09] | – Yep. – Thank you. | －好 －谢谢 |
| [16:25] | Yeah, sorry, could you… | 抱歉，可以请你再停回去吗？ |
| [16:27] | could you actually park it again? | |
| [16:29] | – For real? – Yeah, sorry. | －你认真的？ －对，抱歉 |
| [16:32] | – Here. – Thank you. | 给你，谢谢 |
| [16:42] | Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [16:46] | So… camping. | 那么‥露营 |
| [16:50] | How do I protect myself from bears? | 我遇到熊要怎么保护自己？ |
| [16:53] | You can’t. | 你没办法 |
| [16:55] | It’s okay. I’ll protect you. | 没关系，我会保护你 |
| [16:58] | I’m much bigger than you. I think it’s up to me. | 我体型比你大，那得看我了 |
| [17:00] | You’re gonna protect me? | 你会保护我？ |
| [17:02] | No, we’re both gonna die. | 不会，我们都会死 |
| [17:05] | God. | 天啊 ＂哈哈喜剧俱乐部＂ |
| [17:10] | Okay, so I’m gonna go from DJ’s first overdose | 好，从黛洁第一次用药过量 |
| [17:12] | to the broken foot and then do a callback | 再换到脚骨折段子 |
| [17:14] | to DJ’s second overdose, okay. | 再回到黛洁第二次用药过量 |
| [17:17] | So, I’m gonna close with… | 所以结尾‥ |
| [17:19] | I don’t know, the hysterectomy scare or double foreclosure? | 要子宫切除恐慌 还是双重法拍屋？ |
| [17:22] | I mean, really, which do you think is punchier? | 你觉得哪个段子更有力？ |
| [17:25] | Sorry, what? | |
| [17:26] | Hey, will you pay attention, please? | －抱歉，你说什么？ －请你集中注意力 |
| [17:29] | I’m just thinking about that Ira guy. | 我只是在想那个叫埃拉的家伙 |
| [17:31] | What are you gonna do? | 我们还能怎么样？ |
| [17:32] | Okay, so I know we planned on ending with double foreclosure | 我知道原本计划 以双重法拍屋来结尾 |
| [17:36] | but is hysterectomy stronger? | －但子宫切除会不会更好？ |
| [17:37] | I know it was, like, the time and everything | －我知道都过去了 |
| [17:39] | but I’m still… I’m just mad for you. | 但我只是替你感到生气 |
| [17:41] | Well, if I’m not upset about it, you shouldn’t be. | 如果我不气，你也不应该生气 |
| [17:43] | Yeah, but I mean, it’s upsetting, you know? | 对，但这种事很令人不适 |
| [17:46] | Like, I’m really glad that you weren’t affected | 幸好你当时没受到影响 |
| [17:48] | but I’m sure a lot of other women were | 但我相信很多女性都受到影响 |
| [17:50] | and, like, stopped doing comedy | 然后放弃喜剧表演 |
| [17:52] | ’cause they were scared of, you know | 因为她们害怕在休息室 |
| [17:54] | getting finger-blasted in the greenroom or whatever. | 被人性侵之类的 |
| [17:56] | I was affected. You know | 我当然受到影响了 |
| [17:58] | it pissed me off that I had to deal with that | 遇到那种事让我很生气 |
| [18:00] | and then he gets to take credit for me? | 他还能靠我沾光 |
| [18:01] | Put my photo up on his f**king wall? | 把我的照片挂在他该死的墙上 |
| [18:03] | But life goes on. Now, which is funnier | 但人生还是得过 所以哪个比较好笑？ |
| [18:05] | double foreclosure or hysterectomy? | －双重法拍屋还是子宫切除 |
| [18:07] | – Double foreclosure. – Thank you. | －双重法拍屋 谢谢你 |
| [18:13] | I’m sorry, I don’t mean to, like, victim blame at all. I’m just… | 抱歉，我不是想责备受害者 |
| [18:17] | I’m just wondering, like | 我只是好奇‥ |
| [18:19] | don’t you think you should have maybe reported him? | 你不觉得当初应该报案吗？ |
| [18:23] | Ira owned most of the good venues on the West Coast. | 埃拉坐拥西岸大多数的好场地 |
| [18:25] | It was a real boys’ club. | 这行根本男士俱乐部 |
| [18:26] | I couldn’t afford to burn that bridge. | 我不能冒险切断这条生路 |
| [18:29] | Oh, so you were just looking out for your own career, then? | 所以你以职涯为优先考量？ |
| [18:34] | – What are you accusing me of? – Nothing. | －你想指控我什么？ －没有 |
| [18:35] | I helped a lot of people. | 我帮过许多人 |
| [18:38] | I wasn’t perfect, but I did what I could. | 我并不完美，但我尽力了 |
| [18:39] | Yeah, but then you got rich and famous. | 对，但你出人头地后应该揭发他 |
| [18:41] | You could have come after him then. | |
| [18:43] | Instead, you just worked your way up the ladder and then… | 结果你只是继续爬名利的梯子‥ |
| [18:45] | Oh, god. | 天啊 |
| [18:47] | Now you’re accusing me of being a ladder puller? | 你在指控我自私自利？ |
| [18:49] | Please! Just by getting up on that stage | 得了吧，我站上那舞台 |
| [18:51] | I gave other women more than I ever had. | 替女人铺了以前没有的路 |
| [18:54] | Forget the ladder, I built a marble f**king staircase! | 还讲什么梯子 我根本盖了大理石楼梯 |
| [18:57] | It’s not my job to carry people up it. | 把人扛上去不是我的工作 |
| [19:01] | If you’re not gonna help, you can just leave. | 你不帮忙可以直接离开 |
| [19:05] | Also, you’re wrong. Hysterectomy’s funnier. | 还有，你错了 子宫切除更有趣 |
| [19:08] | I’m closing with that. | 我要以这个收尾 ＂这班机好吗？＂ |
| [19:28] | – Hey. How’s it going? – Hi. | －喂，你好吗？ －喂？ |
| [19:29] | So how’d that flight look? | 那个班机如何？ |
| [19:31] | Oh, and does your hotel have a party pool? | 你的饭店有派对泳池吗？ |
| [19:34] | Yeah, it’s basically a giant toilet. | 有，其实算是巨型马桶 |
| [19:36] | But, Dad, I’m sorry. You can’t come to visit me. | 但是爸‥ 抱歉，你不能来找我 |
| [19:40] | Oh, come on, I told you. I feel up for it. | 好了，我不是说了吗？ 我觉得我可以 |
| [19:43] | No, it’s not that, really. | 不是那样子的，我只是很忙 |
| [19:45] | I’m just… I’m just really busy. | |
| [19:47] | I’m working for Deborah, and… | 我在黛博拉手下工作 |
| [19:51] | also, I have another super secret project | 我还有个不能泄露的机密企划 |
| [19:53] | I’m not even actually allowed to talk about | |
| [19:56] | and I’m not gonna have a lot of free time. | 我没什么空闲时间 |
| [19:57] | Hey, that’s not a problem. | 没关系 |
| [19:59] | I can gamble all day, and then we can just | 我可以赌博一整天 |
| [20:01] | go out for dinner… or lunch, even. | 然后我们出去吃晚餐 |
| [20:03] | – What time’s your lunch break? – Dad, I told you. | 或午餐也可以，你午休几点？ |
| [20:05] | Writing is not, like, a nine-to-five thing. | 爸，我说过了 写手工作不是朝九晚五 |
| [20:07] | I don’t have a lunch break. | 我没有午休 |
| [20:09] | I’m sorry. I can’t. | 抱歉，我没办法 |
| [20:11] | Well, okay. All right. | 好吧‥ |
| [20:13] | Good thing I didn’t buy the… buy the flight. | 幸好我还没订机票 |
| [20:17] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [20:21] | Okay, well, I’ll let you get back to work. | 好吧，我让你回去工作 |
| [20:26] | Love you, bean. | 爱你，小豆子 |
| [20:29] | Love you too. | 我也爱你 |
| [20:36] | Vance, you’re on deck. Crowd is hot. | 凡斯，准备上场 |
| [20:38] | Everyone’s crushing. No presh. | 观众很热情 |
| [20:41] | – Yo. – Hey. | 表演都不错，没压力 |
| [20:42] | Great set. Crowd loved you. | －讲得真好，观众很爱你 －谢了 |
| [20:44] | – Thanks! – Lesson learned for me. | 我学了一课 |
| [20:45] | I should start wearing low-cut shirts if I want to do that well. | 想跟你一样好要穿低胸上衣 |
| [20:48] | Well, you don’t have tits like mine, so… | 但你没有我的胸部 |
| [20:51] | Well, believe me. | 相信我 |
| [20:52] | I would do anything for your tits. | 我愿为你的胸部赴汤蹈火 |
| [20:54] | – ‘Sup, bro? – Oh, don’t tell me | 兄弟 |
| [20:56] | that’s bitch-ass Jack Junior up in the house. | 不可能是贱人小杰克莅临了吧 |
| [21:16] | Thanks so much. Good night. | 谢谢大家，晚安 |
| [21:19] | All right. | 好，继续给小山姆鼓掌 |
| [21:20] | Guys, keep it going for Little Sammy, huh? | |
| [21:23] | Let him hear it. Come on! Yeah. | 掌声热烈一点，来嘛 |
| [21:25] | Don’t let him around your kids, but that is one funny f**ker. | 别让他接近你家小孩 那家伙幽默到爆 |
| [21:29] | All right, guys, we have a special headliner tonight. | 各位，今晚有特别的领衔表演者 |
| [21:32] | Don’t get too excited. It’s not Chappelle. | 别太兴奋，不是查普尔 |
| [21:36] | A lot of people say she’s a crazy woman | 很多人说她是疯女人 |
| [21:38] | but I’d never say that | 我从不这么说 |
| [21:40] | ’cause I think the term “crazy woman” is redundant. | 因为＂疯＂在此是赘字 |
| [21:44] | You know? It’s like saying “free gift” | 就像说＂免费礼物＂ |
| [21:45] | or “gay male flight attendant.” | 或＂同性恋男性空服员＂ |
| [21:48] | Right? | 是不是？ |
| [21:50] | Anyway, she’s got an incredible set | 总之她的表演很精彩 |
| [21:51] | and I think she’s gonna tell some jokes too. | 应该还会说点笑话喔 |
| [21:54] | So you know who she is. You love her. | 你们都认识她，肯定爱她 |
| [21:58] | Your great-aunt really loves her. | 你们的姑婆更是爱死她 |
| [22:00] | Make it loud for the OG female comedian | 掌声欢迎女性喜剧演员元老 |
| [22:03] | Deborah Vance! | 黛博拉凡斯 |
| [22:13] | Thank you. | 谢谢‥ |
| [22:15] | That guy! What a comic. | 那家伙真是好笑，仿佛似曾相识 |
| [22:18] | I’m getting déjà vu. | |
| [22:20] | Where is he? Drew, where are you? | 在哪里，德鲁，你在哪里？ |
| [22:22] | Oh, there he is. | 他在那里 |
| [22:23] | Hey, do you know who George Carlin is? | 你认识乔治卡林吗？ |
| [22:25] | Hell yeah. | 当然了 |
| [22:26] | You remind me… | 你就像他有一次在休息室拉的屎 |
| [22:28] | of a turd he once left in a greenroom. | |
| [22:32] | Tell me, when you take an STD test | 告诉我，你做性病筛检时 |
| [22:34] | does it just say “yes”? | 结果只写了个＂确诊＂吧？ |
| [22:37] | I think she’s got a crush on me! | 糟糕，她暗恋我喔 |
| [22:38] | There aren’t enough roofies in the world. | 给我吃再多强暴丸都不可能 |
| [22:42] | A horse tranq couldn’t get me to give you a high five. | 给我注射马匹镇静剂 我也不想跟你击掌 |
| [22:45] | I got a horse tranq guy if you want to kick it later. | 你想跟我搞的话 我有镇静剂的门路 |
| [22:50] | Yeah. Funny guy. | 真好笑‥ |
| [22:52] | So let me tell you all what’s going on here. | 我告诉大家这是怎么回事 |
| [22:55] | He’s pretending to flirt with me. | 他正假装和我调情 |
| [22:58] | So I have two options. | 所以我有两个选择 |
| [22:59] | I can, you know, shoot him down and not play along | 我可以泼冷水，不配合 |
| [23:02] | but then I’m a bad sport and not funny and a cold bitch | 但那样我就是经不起玩笑 |
| [23:05] | et cetera… | 不有趣，是个冷酷婊子之类的 |
| [23:06] | And if I do that, then it’s awkward | 那样做的话现场会很尴尬 |
| [23:08] | and it’s gonna be hard to win you back, right? | 我就很难赢回观众的心了吧？ |
| [23:10] | Or I do play along | 那如果我顺势配合他 |
| [23:14] | which, let’s face it, is easier | 咱们老实说吧，这样更轻松 |
| [23:15] | and I’m sexualizing myself on his terms… | 但我也是随着他把自己性化了 |
| [23:19] | that guy wearing the pleather hoodie. | 那个穿着塑料皮革连帽衫的家伙 |
| [23:24] | It’s real. It’s real leather. | －说得好 －这是真的皮革‥ |
| [23:25] | – It’s real. – So then my whole set | 然后我的整个表演 |
| [23:28] | becomes entirely about a stranger who I find disgusting. | 就会被恶心的陌生人抢走锋头 |
| [23:35] | God. | 天啊 |
| [23:38] | You know, no matter how long you’re away | 不管离开这里多久 |
| [23:39] | you come back, there’s always a Drew who’s gonna | 回来后总会有德鲁那种人 |
| [23:41] | talk about your tits when he brings you out onstage. | 在带你上台前先对你胸部作评论 |
| [23:43] | Death, taxes, and this f**king guy. | 死亡，税收，还有这该死的家伙 |
| [23:55] | I wasn’t gonna do this. | 我本来不打算这么做 |
| [23:59] | I was gonna try out some new stuff tonight. | 今晚我本想尝试些新东西 |
| [24:03] | I didn’t want to be the butt of the joke. | 我不想沦为笑柄 |
| [24:05] | Because, quite frankly | 因为坦白说 |
| [24:06] | I’m exhausted from beating everybody else to the punch | 我总是捷足先登也是会累的 |
| [24:09] | but then you came up here and did it for me. | 但你却上台把我当笑话 |
| [24:11] | F**k you. | 去你的 |
| [24:16] | Why do you do that? | 你干嘛做这种事？ |
| [24:19] | I don’t know your set | 我不知道你的表演内容 |
| [24:20] | but I am sure that you have nothing to say | 但我很确定你要说的话 |
| [24:24] | that hasn’t already been said on this stage a million times. | 在这舞台上已出现过一百万次 |
| [24:28] | When will you just stop? | 你什么时候才要闭嘴？ |
| [24:31] | Seriously, what will it take to make you just stop? | 说真的，要怎样你才肯闭嘴？ |
| [24:35] | Sixty-nine million. | ６９００万 |
| [24:38] | Right? | |
| [24:41] | Yeah. Man, he’s clever. | 好喔，可真机灵 |
| [24:43] | Well, no, I’m not gonna do that | 那是不可能的，不如‥ |
| [24:45] | but how about… 1.69 million? | １６９万 |
| [24:55] | I’m not joking. | 我是认真的 |
| [25:00] | You’re all my witnesses. | 你们都是见证人 |
| [25:03] | I will write this man a check | 我会给这个男人一张支票 |
| [25:06] | if he swears never to set foot in a comedy club ever again. | 只要他发誓不再踏进喜剧俱乐部 |
| [25:12] | You think he should take the deal? | 你们觉得他该接受吗？ |
| [25:18] | – Are you for real? – Yes. | －是认真的吗？ －是 |
| [25:22] | Unless, you know, you think you’re gonna | 除非你觉得自己能靠喜剧赚更多 |
| [25:23] | make more than that from your comedy career. | |
| [25:27] | I think he should take it. | 我觉得他接受比较好 |
| [25:32] | – Take the money, bitch! – Take it, bitch! | －收钱啦，贱人 －收下，贱人 |
| [25:38] | – All right. – All right! | 好吧 |
| [25:42] | All right, Drew, come on up here. Come on. | 好，德鲁，上来 |
| [25:44] | You guys are recording this, right? Right? | 你们都在录影吧？ |
| [25:46] | I can’t get rid of ’em all, but I can get rid of one. | 无法完全铲除害虫 至少能杀死这只 |
| [25:49] | Okay, now, my very, very good lawyers | 我的顶尖律师团会拟订合约 |
| [25:53] | are gonna draw this all up. | |
| [25:55] | And we’ll shake on it. Okay? | 咱们先握手达成共识，行吗？ |
| [25:57] | I, Deborah Vance, will give Drew $1.69 million | 我，黛博拉凡斯 会给德鲁１６９万美元 |
| [26:03] | so long as he agrees to never set foot on a stage ever again. | 只要他同意不再踏上任何舞台 |
| [26:13] | – Can I do a podcast? – No. | －可以开播客节目吗？ －不行 |
| [26:17] | And if you break the rules, you pay me back double. | 毁约的话，钱要双倍偿还给我 |
| [26:23] | Do it. | |
| [26:33] | Good for you, Drew. | 做得好，德鲁 |
| [26:35] | Invest wisely, and you’ll never have to work again. | 好好投资以后就不必工作 |
| [26:37] | But if you do, I’m sure you’ll be | 但万一还是得工作 |
| [26:39] | the third-funniest guy in your office. | 相信你会是办公室第三好笑的 |
| [26:41] | Now get the f**k off my stage. | 现在给我滚下台 |
| [26:55] | – Seriously. – That was… incredible. | －真是的 －刚刚太精彩了 |
| [26:59] | No, it wasn’t. | 才不精彩 |
| [27:01] | I was supposed to try the new material tonight. | 今晚本来要尝试新内容 我搞砸了 |
| [27:02] | – I blew it. – Oh, my god. | 天啊，谁还管新内容 |
| [27:03] | Who gives a f**k about the new material? | |
| [27:05] | That was raw and honest. | 你说的话自然又真挚 |
| [27:07] | You told the truth. It was amazing. | 你说出真相，棒极了 |
| [27:10] | It did feel really f**king good. | 感觉确实挺爽的 |
| [27:13] | Debbie. | 小黛 |
| [27:17] | Kathy. | 凯西 |
| [27:18] | Could we just talk for just a few minutes, please? | 可以跟我聊一下吗？ 拜托 |
| [27:24] | Ava, wait in the car. | 艾娃，去车上等 |
| [27:31] | Holy shit. | 我的妈呀 |
| [27:33] | F**k, f**k, shit, oh, my god, f**k, holy shit. | 该死，要命，可恶 妈呀，死定了 |
| [27:37] | F**k. | 天杀的，惨了 |
| [27:39] | Shit. | |
| [28:04] | How was that? | 聊得还好吗？ |
| [28:05] | – Fine. – Oh, great. | 还行 太好了 |
| [28:19] | Watch out! | 小心‥慢一点 |
| [28:20] | Watch out! Slow down! | |
| [28:22] | Jesus Christ! Damn it! | 我的老天爷 |
| [28:24] | – Deborah! – I knew she’d move. | －可恶 －黛博拉 我知道她会闪开 |
| [28:27] | Never forgive, never forget, baby. | 不宽恕也不忘恨，宝贝 ＂帕美托赌场饭店＂ |
| [29:04] | – Kayla? – Oh, my god, sissy! | －凯拉 －天啊，姐妹 |
| [29:06] | Oh, my god, I just had a full conversation | 我刚刚跟别人聊得好开心 |
| [29:08] | with somebody who wasn’t you. | |
| [29:10] | So I had to FaceTime you. Hello. | 所以我得跟你视讯，你好 |
| [29:12] | Are you okay? Do you need help? | 你还好吗，要帮忙吗？ |
| [29:14] | Why are you calling me? What… | 你打给我做什么？ |
| [29:16] | Oh, god. | 天啊 |
| [29:17] | Do you know the British show The Bitter End? | 你知道英国节目 ＂苦痛结局＂吗？ |
| [29:20] | Yeah, it’s so good. Why? | 知道，很好看，为什么问？ |
| [29:22] | So the creators are making a new show | 他们的创作团队要做新节目 |
| [29:24] | and I told them all about you | 我跟他们说到你在赌城的经历 |
| [29:25] | and your experience in Las Vegas | |
| [29:27] | and they want to meet you, girlfriend! | 他们想跟你见面，姐妹 |
| [29:29] | Oh, my god! What? | 天啊，什么？ |
| [29:31] | That’s amazing! | 真是太好了 |
| [29:33] | Can you believe? I’m like, okay | 你敢信吗？ |
| [29:35] | I’m making things happen for other people. | 我竟然真的在帮人牵线 |
| [29:38] | Wait, wait, you told them about me? | 等等，你跟他们讲到我？ |
| [29:40] | I mean, Jimmy told me to take more initiative | 吉米要我主动一点 |
| [29:43] | so I sent them your stuff and they loved it. | 我把你的作品传过去 他们爱死了 |
| [29:46] | They’re, like, totally freaking out. | 爱到无法自拔 |
| [29:48] | They want to meet you before they go… | 他们想先见见你 |
| [29:49] | Across the pond again. | 再回到大西洋彼岸 |
| [29:51] | Holy shit. | 我的妈呀 |
| [29:53] | Yeah, so don’t tell Jimmy | 对，别告诉吉米 |
| [29:54] | but can you be in LA Friday morning? | 你周五早上能到洛杉矶吗？ 待续 谢谢观赏 |