| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Ahh, smokinghot.com/deborah. | 辣到冒烟了，黛博拉 |
| [00:04] | Gorgeous! Gorgeous! | 美极了，真是美极了 |
| [00:06] | Someone get me a bloody spoon, | 谁快拿根汤匙给我 |
| [00:08] | ’cause I’m eating up what you’re serving. | 因为我想把你吃光光 |
| [00:10] | Look at that. Yummy. | 瞧你，真是秀色可餐 |
| [00:11] | That’s fucking tasty. | 艳光四射 |
| [00:13] | Just give us five minutes, OK? | 给我们五分钟，好吗？ |
| [00:14] | We’re just gonna adjust for the next setup. | 我们要调整下一个布景 |
| [00:16] | – Whoo! – Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [00:17] | OK, fierce. | 好，真是太猛了 |
| [00:19] | You gotta teach me how to take a photo like that. | 你得教我怎么那样拍照 |
| [00:21] | Chin down, ears forward, eyes up. | 缩下巴，双耳朝前，眼睛向上看 |
| [00:24] | And hum the national anthem. It keeps the jowls tight. | 哼国歌，可以收双下巴 |
| [00:26] | OK, think I’m just gonna stick with,”Here, let me take it.” | 好，我想我还是说＂来，让我拍＂ |
| [00:30] | OK. I got great news. | 好，我有好消息 |
| [00:31] | We are officially on the books for your test show | 敲定下下周的周五测试 |
| [00:33] | – two weeks from Friday. – Great. | 你主持的效果 －太好了 |
| [00:35] | We shouldn’t even have to do a test show. | －我们应该根本不用测试 |
| [00:37] | I mean, I say we force the network’s hand. | 可以来个霸王硬上弓 |
| [00:39] | What if I tweeted something like “Deborah got the job”? | 我可以发推文说 ＂黛博拉确定是主持人了＂ |
| [00:42] | I mean, the network’s never gonna backtrack | 如果已经众所周知 电视网 |
| [00:43] | if it’s already out there. | 不可能说不是你 |
| [00:45] | OK, that’s genius. | 好，这个点子太天才了 |
| [00:49] | Kayla, do not tweet anything, OK?We are so close to the finish line here. | 凯菈，不要推文，好吗？ 我们只差临门一脚 |
| [00:51] | It’s down to Deborah and the X Games guy.You know that. | 现在只剩黛博拉 和那个极限运动的家伙，你知道的 |
| [00:55] | – OK, calm your nuts. | 好啦，别著急 |
| [00:56] | Anyway, it’s perfect timing for the test show because it’s exactly | －总而言之，现在测试时机正好 －对，时机正好 |
| [00:58] | when the Meena Elahi piece will run. – That’s right. | －因为米娜伊拉希的报导那时会登 －对 |
| [01:02] | – Wait.Meena Elahi’s the journalist you’ve been talking to? | 等等，采访你的记者是米娜伊拉希？ |
| [01:04] | She’s amazing. | 她超棒的 |
| [01:06] | She’s taken so many people down. | 她扳倒了好多人 |
| [01:09] | But you, you, she will lift up. | 但你…她会把你捧上天 |
| [01:13] | She–she’s going to Berkeley, right? | 她要去柏克莱，对吧？ |
| [01:15] | Yep. She’s gonna meet you Friday. | 对，她周五会跟你见面 |
| [01:17] | She’s gonna be with you the whole weekend. | 整个周末都跟著你 |
| [01:18] | Hold on.This weekend is Palm Springs. | 等等，她周末要去棕榈泉 |
| [01:21] | No, this weekend, Deborah’s getting | 不对，黛博拉周末 |
| [01:23] | her honorary doctorate from Berkeley. | 要获颁柏克莱的名誉博士学位 |
| [01:24] | – No. – Yes. | －不对… －对哦… |
| [01:26] | – No. – Am I double booked? | 我的行程是不是重叠了？ |
| [01:28] | It–it was not in the shared Google Cal, see? | 那个没有写在共享的谷歌行事历里 看 |
| [01:30] | It was not in the shared Google Cal! | 没有写在共享行事历里 |
| [01:32] | I texted you about it, dork. | －阿呆，我有传简讯给你 －才没有 |
| [01:33] | – No, you didn’t. – Yeah, I did. | 明明就有，就在… |
| [01:35] | It’s right–OK, shit. All right. | 要命， – 好吧 |
| [01:37] | I texted Damien Plumber, | 我是传给戴米恩水电工 |
| [01:39] | who I think is a plumber I used, | 我猜他是我找过的水电工 |
| [01:41] | because I’m scrolling up, | 因为我往上滑 |
| [01:42] | and I’m seeing a clogged toilet. | 就看到堵住的马桶 |
| [01:44] | – There it is. – I–I was sick, but you know. | －水落石出了 －我那时生病了，但是… |
| [01:47] | Deborah, you headline Palm Springs Pride every year. | 黛博拉，棕榈泉同志大游行 你每年都是挂头牌 |
| [01:50] | And this year, we have the House of Vance activation. | 今年我们还有凡斯之家的促发活动 |
| [01:52] | Yeah, but she can’t miss Berkeley. | 对，但她不能不去柏克莱 |
| [01:54] | It’s a huge deal. | 那可是大事 |
| [01:55] | And “The New Yorker’s” gonna be there. | 纽约客会去采访 |
| [02:00] | You’re gonna handle the activation. | 促发行动交给你 |
| [02:01] | I will go to Berkeley. | 我去柏克莱 |
| [02:02] | I’ll fly back in time for the show. | 再飞回来表演 |
| [02:04] | And we’ll do both. | －这样就能两头兼顾 |
| [02:05] | – It’ll be great. – OK. | 没问题的 －好 |
| [02:08] | OK, that can work. | －好，应该行得通 |
| [02:09] | Works for us too, as well. | －我们也没问题 |
| [02:11] | It’ll be fun. | 会很好玩的 |
| [02:12] | You can bring a friend. | 你可以带个朋友来 |
| [02:14] | OK, Deb. Ready for you, mama. | －小黛，我们准备好了 |
| [02:15] | OK. | －好 |
| [02:19] | All right, let’s do it.Sensational. | 好，开始拍，太美了 |
| [02:23] | Oh.Boom. | 很好 |
| [02:33] | It was just a really exciting and stimulating place to go to school, you know, | 那是个很让人兴奋激刺的校园 |
| [02:38] | especially at that time with all the anti-war protests | 尤其那个时候有很多反战示威和… |
| [02:40] | and that sort of thing. | 诸如此类的活动 |
| [02:45] | Oh, that building there, | 那栋建筑物 |
| [02:47] | that is the first place I was ever on stage. | 是我生平第一次登台的地方 |
| [02:48] | At that Jamba Juice? | 那个坚宝果汁的摊位？ |
| [02:50] | Well, it was a blackbox theater then. | 那时候是黑箱剧场 |
| [02:52] | But there were a lot of fruits! | 但确实是有很多＂水果＂ |
| [02:55] | Oops. | 说错话了 |
| [02:56] | Uh, oh, Meena, I meant to ask you, with this profile, | 米娜，我想问你 |
| [02:59] | are you including one of your famous | 你会在报导中加入 |
| [03:01] | caricature illustrations? | 你著名的漫画吗？ |
| [03:02] | I love those. | 我好喜欢那些漫画 |
| [03:04] | I always wanted a giant head and a tiny body. | 我一直想要大头小身体 |
| [03:05] | – Ha! – Well, that’s art department. | 那是美工部门的事 |
| [03:07] | It’s not my purview. | 我管不著 |
| [03:11] | Uh, Meena, I just want to say, | 米娜，我只想说 |
| [03:12] | I loved your piece about how white people | 我好喜欢你那篇 关于白人 |
| [03:15] | have gentrified jokes about white people. | 中产阶级化白人笑话的报导 |
| [03:17] | So 2012 me. | 我２０１２年就是那样 |
| [03:20] | I found that fabulous as well. | 我也觉得很精彩 |
| [03:22] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [03:23] | A lot of white people liked it, which is interesting. | 很多白人都很喜欢 我觉得很有意思 |
| [03:26] | Mm. Mm-hmm. | 嗯 |
| [03:28] | Yo, are you– are you Deborah Vance? | 你是黛博拉凡斯吗？ |
| [03:31] | Why, yes I am. | －对 |
| [03:33] | No cap? | －真的吗？ |
| [03:34] | None at all. | －千真万确 |
| [03:35] | Dude, I told you. | －老兄，我就说吧 |
| [03:37] | You’re, like, mad cute. | 你超辣 |
| [03:39] | Like, you should come to Chi Phi Beta’s party tonight. | 今天来我们兄弟会的派对 |
| [03:41] | We got a keg and, like, six couches in one room. | 我们有一桶啤酒 有个房间里放了和六张沙发 |
| [03:44] | Uh, I think my Jell-O shot days | 我喝果冻酒的日子已经结束了 |
| [03:45] | are behind me, boys–sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [03:47] | Well, let me know if you change your mind. | 改变主意的话跟我说 |
| [03:48] | My name’s Chris, | 我叫克里斯 |
| [03:50] | and I’m trying to show you a good time. | 保证让你玩得尽兴 |
| [03:51] | Oh, Chris. | 克里斯 |
| [03:55] | I could be their age, right? | 我看起来跟他们同年吧？ |
| [03:58] | Well, you do own the same shorts. | 他那条短裤你有同款 |
| [04:02] | I’m just playing with you! | 闹你的啦 |
| [04:03] | – Oh. – Oh.Love this girl. | 我爱死她了 |
| [04:06] | Yeah, we’re kidding. | 是啊，我们很要好 |
| [04:08] | Oh, that’s me. | 是我的闹钟 |
| [04:09] | Yeah, I gotta go do that interview | 我要去接受 |
| [04:11] | at the college radio station. | 大学电台的采访 |
| [04:12] | Meena, I’d ask you to tag along, | 米娜，我很想找你一起去 |
| [04:14] | but I don’t want you to get jealous, | 但又不希望 你因为 |
| [04:15] | me talking to another reporter. | 我跟别的记者谈而嫉妒 |
| [04:17] | Would you say jealousy plays a big role in your life? | 你觉得嫉妒在你人生中 扮演了很重要的角色吗？ |
| [04:21] | No. | 并没有 |
| [04:22] | Um, OK, I’ll see you guys. | 好，那就晚点见了 |
| [04:25] | I’m gonna hit the dining hall. | 我去食堂看看 |
| [04:27] | Hey, do you mind if I tag along? | 我可以跟你去吗？ |
| [04:28] | Maybe we could talk? | 也许我们可以聊聊？ |
| [04:30] | Oh, um, yeah, sure. | －好啊，没问题 |
| [04:32] | Great. | －太好了 |
| [04:38] | So yeah, after the special came out, | 特辑推出后 |
| [04:40] | I left and went to LA. | 我就离开去洛城了 |
| [04:42] | Oh, so you left and then you came back? | 所以你离开后又回来了？ |
| [04:44] | Well, I’m just here temporarily. | 我只是暂时回来 |
| [04:46] | Deborah freed me to pursue other work. | 黛博拉放我找别的工作 |
| [04:48] | Freed you? | －＂放你＂ |
| [04:49] | Sounds like you were her prisoner. | 听起来好像囚犯 |
| [04:50] | Oh, no. No. | －不是… |
| [04:51] | It was actually really cool and selfless of her. | 她这样做很好，很无私 |
| [04:53] | I mean, she pushed me, | 她鞭策我 |
| [04:54] | and that led to me getting a job at “On The Contrary.” | 所以我才会去 ＂反而言之＂工作 |
| [04:57] | I’m co-producer now. | 我现在是共同制作人 |
| [04:59] | Oh, but if I get a title bump before this goes to print, | 若报导刊登前，我的职称又往上调了 |
| [05:02] | how would I get in touch? | 要怎么联络你？ |
| [05:03] | Shoot you an email or… | 写电邮给你还是…？ |
| [05:05] | Can we get off the record here a sec? | 可以私下聊两句吗？ |
| [05:09] | Sure. | 好啊 |
| [05:11] | Look, Ava, I don’t have an agenda here. | 听著，艾娃，我没什么图谋 |
| [05:14] | I don’t go into a piece with an angle, | 我写报导时不会有预设立场 |
| [05:16] | and I want to portray Deborah | 我想如实呈现黛博拉 |
| [05:18] | as the complicated person she is. | 复杂的真实面貌 |
| [05:20] | But a lot of what I’ve found out about her | 但是我查到的很多资讯都显示 |
| [05:22] | does indicate she is not the easiest person to work for. | 帮她工作并不容易 |
| [05:25] | Did you talk to the elves? | 你跟圣诞小精灵谈过了？ |
| [05:27] | – What? – What? | －什么？ －什么 |
| [05:29] | No, I don’t–I don’t know. | 没事，我也不知道… |
| [05:30] | Uh, I talked to a hairdresser | 我问过一位美发师 |
| [05:32] | who requested time off for his wedding, | 他因为结婚，所以要请假 |
| [05:34] | but Deborah couldn’t guarantee his job | 但黛博拉说不保证会保留他的职位 |
| [05:36] | because she “couldn’t predict the market.” | 因为她说她＂无法预测市场＂ |
| [05:41] | Yeah, um… look. | 对 是这样的 |
| [05:43] | Deborah can be tough, for sure. | 黛博拉有时确实很严厉 |
| [05:45] | But that’s ’cause she has really high standards | 但这是因为她对自己 |
| [05:46] | for herself and everyone else. | 和别人的要求都很高 |
| [05:48] | But if you can meet those standards, | 但如果你能满足那些要求… |
| [05:51] | she’ll take care of you. | 她绝对不会亏待你 |
| [05:54] | OK. | 明白 |
| [05:57] | Do you think Naomi Fry would like me? | 你觉得娜欧蜜佛莱会喜欢我吗？ |
| [05:59] | It’s “Nomi,” so… | 是＂诺蜜＂，所以… |
| [06:01] | “Nomi.””Nomi,” get to know me. OK. | ＂诺蜜＂…诺言甜如蜜，好 |
| [06:07] | But all sales are electronic, | －真的会死掉 |
| [06:08] | and so we cannot accept quarters. | 所以… －当然 |
| [06:10] | Thank you, king. | 你没问题的 |
| [06:13] | OK, that clip-on bidet in the bathroom turned me out, | 洗手间的坐浴盆打动了我的心 |
| [06:16] | – so I will be needing one. – Got it. | 我们得买一个 – 明白 |
| [06:18] | Listen, you don’t have to stay here while I’m working. | 听著，我工作时 你不用留在这里 |
| [06:20] | I can meet you afterward. | 我可以结束后再去找你 |
| [06:21] | It’s actually kind of fun. | 这里还满好玩的 |
| [06:23] | – Hey. – Hi. | 嘿 -你好 |
| [06:25] | Would Deborah sign my bottle of Fen-Phen? | 黛博拉能在我这瓶芬芬上签名吗？ |
| [06:27] | I’ve had it since the ’90s from when she used to sell it. | 这瓶是我１９９０年代买的 那时她还是代言人 |
| [06:31] | To the best of my recollection, | 就我记忆所及 |
| [06:32] | Deborah never sold Fen-Phen and is therefore | 黛博拉没有卖过芬芬 |
| [06:34] | not liable for any cardiovascular complications | 所以不用为你可能有或可能没有的 |
| [06:35] | or issues you may or may not have experienced. | 心血管并发症或疾病负责 |
| [06:37] | And unfortunately, she’s not here today. | 很不幸的，她今天没有来 |
| [06:40] | – What? – Oh, no. | －什么？ －糟糕 |
| [06:42] | I thought the whole fucking point was that this was | 办这个活动的目的 |
| [06:43] | a shoppable house and she was gonna be here | 不就是来现场买东西 |
| [06:45] | to sign anything that we purchased. | 然后让她在上面签名吗？ |
| [06:46] | I know. It was my idea. | 我知道，这是我提出来的企划 |
| [06:48] | And again, my apologies. | 再度向各位致歉 |
| [06:49] | But if you come to the show tomorrow, | 但如果明天来看表演的话 |
| [06:51] | I’m making sure she does a signing session afterward. | 我会让她在结束后办签名会 |
| [06:53] | I’m gonna be on G then, | 那时候我会吃安眠药 |
| [06:55] | and I don’t want to meet her like that. | 那个样子不能见她 |
| [06:56] | Can’t you just not do G? | 你不能不吃安眠药吗？ |
| [06:59] | No. | 不行 |
| [07:03] | Happy Pride. | 同志游行日快乐 |
| [07:04] | Yeah, sorry about him. | 我代替他向你道歉 |
| [07:06] | But I think we’re gonna go to the Ace | 但我们应该会去王牌玩 |
| [07:08] | if you want to come. | 要来吗？ |
| [07:10] | Oh. | 哦 |
| [07:12] | I’m–I’m actually here for work, but thank you. | 我是来工作的，但是谢谢你的邀约 |
| [07:15] | Yeah, OK. | 明白，好 |
| [07:17] | Maybe next time. | 那改天 |
| [07:20] | – Have fun. – Yeah, you too. | －祝你工作开心 －也祝你玩得开心 |
| [07:21] | Watch out. | 小心 |
| [07:25] | If you need me to run the iPad | 如果你要我负责控制平板 |
| [07:26] | so you can go catch a dick, | 让你去勾搭男人… |
| [07:27] | – please let me know. – No. No. No. | －不要… －拜托告诉我一声 |
| [07:29] | – Ooh. – I can’t go there. | 我不能做这种事 |
| [07:30] | I do not hook up with Deborah fans. | 我不能勾搭黛博拉的粉丝 |
| [07:32] | It’s–it’s too weird. | 太奇怪了 |
| [07:34] | Mm, right. Don’t shit where you eat ass. | 也对，兔子不吃窝边草 |
| [07:37] | Exactly. | 说得对 |
| [07:40] | Forgot the beauty of unlimited refills. | 我忘了无限追加有多爽 |
| [07:42] | Love a freeze-dried fruit, you know what I mean? | 我最爱冷冻干燥的水果 懂我的意思吗？ |
| [07:44] | I have a boyfriend. | 我有男朋友 |
| [07:48] | OK. | 好 |
| [07:51] | What?If we’re gonna leave water at the border | 如果要在边界放水 |
| [07:54] | for these people, we might as well | 给这些人喝 |
| [07:55] | leave Spanish-to-English dictionaries too. | 不如也放几本英西字典 |
| [07:57] | Hey, hey, my peers. What you watching? | 同辈们，你们在看什么？ |
| [07:59] | Uh, this stand-up. | －看一个脱口秀喜剧演员 |
| [08:01] | – Deborah Vance. – Love her. | 黛博拉凡斯 －我好喜欢她 |
| [08:03] | I guess someone made a supercut | 好像有人把她的 种族歧视 |
| [08:04] | of all her shitty, racist jokes. | 笑话剪接成合集了 |
| [08:06] | What? | －什么？ |
| [08:07] | Hey, Berkeley, is this your girl? | －柏克莱，这是你们的女生吗？ |
| [08:09] | A majority of cars sold in America are made in Asia. | 在美国售出的车辆中 有一大部分是在亚洲做的 |
| [08:12] | Asians making cars? | 亚洲人做汽车？ |
| [08:14] | That’s like Polish people making light bulbs. | 简直像波兰人做电灯泡一样 |
| [08:16] | – Shit. – Oh, my God, she sucks. | －要死了 －天啊，她好差劲 |
| [08:18] | So fucked up they’re giving her an honorary degree. | 他们要颁发名誉学位给她 实在太过分了 |
| [08:21] | Right? | 是啊 |
| [08:22] | Mm, nasty, nasty stuff. | 好恶毒… |
| [08:24] | I heard the new stuff is good, though, randomly. | 但我听说她的新笑话很不错 |
| [08:27] | Where did I–yeah. | 是在哪里听说的呢？ |
| [08:29] | There–was any of the, like, progressive,feminist stuff in there, or no? | 那里面有没有开明女性主义的笑话？ |
| [08:32] | – No. – No, no. | －没有 －没有… |
| [08:33] | I think they have that coming. | 后面应该会有 |
| [08:34] | She’s doing that. | 她现在都讲这种的 |
| [08:35] | That’s–but would you guys excuse me? | 请恕我失陪 |
| [08:40] | Oh, well, I certainly wasn’t conservative, | 我绝对不是保守主义者 |
| [08:43] | but I didn’t love living with hippies. | 但也不喜欢跟嬉皮住在一起 |
| [08:46] | However, I do love a good alfalfa sprout. | －不过苜蓿芽沙拉很不错 |
| [08:47] | Hey, Deborah! | －黛博拉 |
| [08:48] | Sorry, can I just grab you for a second? | 抱歉，可以借一步说话吗？ |
| [08:50] | Just want to ask you something about your speech. | 我有讲稿的问题要问你 |
| [08:52] | Sorry. Work thing. | 抱歉，是公事 |
| [08:54] | Please excuse us for– for a minute. | 请恕我们失陪一下 |
| [08:56] | What is the matter with you? | 你是怎么回事？ |
| [08:58] | Hello? Hello? Hello? | －有人在吗… |
| [09:00] | – OK, come on. – What are you doing? | 快来 －你在做什么 |
| [09:01] | – Let go of me. – Hey, listen to me. | 放手 – 听我说 |
| [09:02] | So little problem. | 有个小问题 |
| [09:04] | Someone made a supercut of some of your | 有人把你以前那些问题笑话 |
| [09:06] | more problematic older material, | 做成大全集 |
| [09:08] | and it’s gaining traction, and apparently, | 开始在网路上传开来了 |
| [09:10] | some students are planning to protest your ceremony. | 显然有些学生 打算在你的学位典礼上抗议 |
| [09:14] | OK, which minority group is upset? | 好，是哪个弱势团体在不爽？ |
| [09:16] | OK, not great that you have to ask that. | 好，你得问这个问题显然很不妙 |
| [09:19] | And also, I don’t think “minority” | 而且我想＂弱势＂这个词 |
| [09:20] | is the proper term anymore. | 已经不再恰当了 |
| [09:22] | – What are they called? – No, don’t say “they.” | －那要叫他们什么？ －不行，不能说＂他们＂ |
| [09:24] | Oh, I thought everybody was “they” now! | －我以为现在大家都是＂他们＂了 |
| [09:26] | No, that’s a different thing. | －不对，那是另一回事 |
| [09:28] | OK, just– | 好吧 |
| [09:29] | oh, God, this is just the worst possible timing. | 天啊 时机真是太不凑巧了 |
| [09:32] | For you to be held accountable for your actions? | 要你为自己行为负起责任吗？ |
| [09:34] | Yes! | 对 |
| [09:36] | I am inches away from my fucking dream job. | 我离我梦想中的工作 只剩下最后一步了 |
| [09:38] | Hey, I think you’re getting off pretty easy, OK? | 只是这样算不错了 |
| [09:41] | You’re lucky that Zsa Zsa Gabor shit is only available on VHS. | 幸亏莎莎嘉宝的笑话只出了录影带 |
| [09:44] | I mean, it was textbook slut-shaming. | 那是典型的荡妇羞辱 |
| [09:46] | Well, she was a slut. | 她就是荡妇啊 |
| [09:47] | Oh, my–well, and that’s– but that’s fine. | 我的天…是荡妇也没关系 |
| [09:49] | Oh, God. OK, look. | 我的天啊，好，听著 |
| [09:51] | Just–we gotta squash this. | 我们得把这件事压下来 |
| [09:53] | I guess. | 大概吧 |
| [09:54] | Or you could just apologize. | －或是你可以道个歉 |
| [09:57] | Uh, no. | －不行 |
| [09:58] | Deborah, the jokes weren’t great. | 黛博拉，看些笑话真的不好 |
| [10:00] | You wouldn’t do them today. | 换做是现在的你绝对不会说的 |
| [10:01] | No. You never apologize for a joke. | 不行，绝对不能为笑话道歉 |
| [10:04] | I’m a comedian. | 我是喜剧演员 |
| [10:06] | I was just doing my job. | 我那时候也只是在工作 |
| [10:08] | OK, OK. | 好… |
| [10:09] | Look, it’s just some of the students, right? | 只有某些学生不爽，对吧？ |
| [10:12] | Yeah. | －对 |
| [10:13] | OK, OK. | －好… |
| [10:14] | Then all I have to do is, you know, | 我只要在校园 |
| [10:15] | curry favor on campus with the other students. | 讨好其他学生 |
| [10:18] | You know, drown out the dissenters. | 压倒那些异议分子 |
| [10:19] | Make the minority voices a minority. | 让弱势族群的声音成为弱势 |
| [10:22] | That could go right in the supercut. | 那个会被剪进大全集 |
| [10:24] | I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do. | 我有办法了 |
| [10:25] | We will go to that fraternity party tonight. | 今晚咱们去兄弟会的派对 |
| [10:27] | I’ll buy them supplies. | 我会带补给品过去 |
| [10:29] | And I will do that student improv show | 而且会应邀参加学生的 |
| [10:31] | that I was invited to do. | 即兴演出 |
| [10:32] | It’s the perfect opportunity to make myself look good. | 这是为自己加分的大好机会 |
| [10:34] | OK.Deborah, | 是这样的，黛博拉 |
| [10:36] | improv has never made anyone look good, OK? | 即兴演出从来没有 为任何人加过分，好吗？ |
| [10:43] | Write that down. | 把这句话写下来 |
| [10:58] | Jimmy. | －吉米 |
| [10:59] | Hey, sorry I have to be a little bit quiet. | －抱歉我得小声讲 |
| [11:00] | I’m in a cancer center. | 我在癌症中心 |
| [11:02] | I’m about to run lines with a client who’s getting chemo. | 等等要跟做化疗的客户对词 |
| [11:04] | He booked a role, which is cool. | 他争取到在ＣＷ节目中 |
| [11:06] | It’s on the CW show. | 演出的机会，这是好消息 |
| [11:07] | We hope it’s gonna recur. | 希望会再出现 |
| [11:08] | The role, not the cancer. | 我指的是角色 不是癌症 |
| [11:10] | OK. | －好 |
| [11:11] | So first, I just wanted to call | －我首先要再度 |
| [11:12] | and apologize again about Kayla. | 为凯菈的事道歉 |
| [11:14] | I gave her a stern talking to. | 我很严厉地训了她一顿 |
| [11:16] | She was wearing earbuds the whole time, but I tried. | 她从头到尾都戴著耳机，但我试过了 |
| [11:20] | You know, what else can I do? | 我还能做什么呢？ |
| [11:23] | I also wanted to let you know about something | 我也要跟你说电视网觉得 |
| [11:25] | the network flagged about Deborah’s merchandising deals. | 黛博拉的销售活动有问题 |
| [11:28] | What do you mean? | －什么意思？ |
| [11:30] | Obviously, they’re extremely protective | －电视网当然非常保护 |
| [11:31] | of their advertisers, | 自己的广告主 |
| [11:33] | and they’re concerned that if Deborah were to become host, | 他们担心如果黛博拉当了主持人 |
| [11:36] | she might be the face of a competing product, | 可能会成为竞争商品的门面 |
| [11:38] | whether that be through a one-off deal or anything on QVC. | 不论是一次性合约 还是任何购物台的商品 |
| [11:45] | Wow. | 哇 |
| [11:47] | OK. | 好吧 |
| [11:49] | And obviously, that might not even be an issue, | 可能只是雷声大雨点小 |
| [11:50] | but I just wanted to give you the heads-up in case. | 但我还是想先让你知道，以防万一 |
| [11:52] | And I appreciate that, Jimmy. | 谢谢你，吉米 |
| [11:54] | I actually have my hands full over here, | －我现在很忙 |
| [11:55] | so I’m gonna have to jet. | 就先讲到这里吧 |
| [11:56] | OK. Cool. | －好，没问题 |
| [11:58] | Well, have a fun, safe, and very queer weekend. | 祝你有个好玩，安全 又充满＂同＂趣的周末 |
| [12:01] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [12:05] | All right, everyone, may I have your attention, please? | 请各位注意一下 |
| [12:07] | We will be ending the activation a little bit early. | 我们要提早结束促发活动 |
| [12:09] | This is now the official afterparty. | 这现在正式成为续摊派对了 |
| [12:12] | Tell all your friends. | 请大家告诉大家 |
| [12:13] | Turn up the music. | 音乐太大声点 |
| [12:14] | A drink. A drink. | －我要酒 －来了 |
| [12:16] | Thank you. | －谢谢 |
| [12:17] | Got you. | －没问题 |
| [12:19] | Oh. | 哦 |
| [12:21] | – All right. – I need eight more. | －好喔 －我还需要８杯 |
| [12:24] | Don’t throw things on the floor. | 东西不要随地乱丢 |
| [12:26] | -I promised to perform… – What? | －我答应表演… －怎样？ |
| [12:29] | Hello? | 你们好啊 |
| [12:30] | Ms. Vance, it is such an honor. | 凡斯小姐，真是太荣幸了，我是赞德 |
| [12:32] | – I’m Zed. – Hi, Zed. | －赞德，你好 －这是不可思议的麦蒂 |
| [12:34] | And this is Marvelous Maddie, Gregarious Greg, | －爱交际的葛瑞 －幸会 |
| [12:38] | Jolly John, Coolio Caroline, | 欢乐约翰，酷利欧卡洛琳 |
| [12:40] | Raunchy Rain, and Sacrilegious Sarah. | 低级瑞恩和渎神莎拉 |
| [12:43] | OK. | 好的 |
| [12:45] | You done improv before? | －你有过即兴演出的经验吗？ |
| [12:46] | – No. – Totally fine. | －没有 – 完全不成问题 |
| [12:48] | So how this is gonna work is basically, | 基本的运作如下 |
| [12:50] | we’re gonna get a suggestion from the audience, | 我们会请观众提出建议 |
| [12:52] | and then you’re gonna tell a story | 你再根据观众的建议讲一个故事 |
| [12:53] | based on that suggestion, | 我们会根据这个故事 |
| [12:54] | and then we’re gonna improvise scenes based on that story. | 即兴编排一些场景 |
| [12:57] | And feel free to jump in and join the fun at any time. | 欢迎你随时加入，跟我们同乐 |
| [12:59] | Fun. | －真好玩 |
| [13:01] | So whenever you’re ready, we’ll warm up. | －等你准备好，我们就开始热身 |
| [13:03] | OK. Great, great. | 好，非常好… |
| [13:04] | I’ll just be right there. | 我马上过去 |
| [13:06] | OK. | 好 |
| [13:07] | When they ask for audience suggestions, | 他们要求观众提出建议时 |
| [13:09] | I want you to say “pediatric AIDS.” | 我要你说＂儿童爱滋病＂ |
| [13:13] | What? | －什么？ |
| [13:14] | I want you to yell “pediatric AIDS.” | －我要你大叫＂儿童爱滋病＂ |
| [13:16] | See, this way I can talk about my charity work | 这样我可以当著米娜的面 谈我做的慈善 |
| [13:18] | in front of Meena without sounding self-aggrandizing. | 又不会让人觉得在自我吹嘘 |
| [13:20] | You just gotta set me up. | 你只要帮我做球就好 |
| [13:22] | OK, here. Take my purse. | 来，帮我拿包包 |
| [13:24] | And do not use my lipstick. | 不要偷用我的口红 |
| [13:26] | I know you’re using reverse psychology | 我知道你想用逆向心理学 |
| [13:28] | to get me to wear lipstick. | 让我涂口红 |
| [13:31] | Well, it was worth a shot. | 我想说值得一试 |
| [13:33] | Oh, have you played Big Booty before? | －你玩过大屁股吗？ |
| [13:36] | – Can’t say as I have. – Totally fine. | －没有耶 完全没问题 |
| [13:38] | Uh, we’ll just do a little Zip Zap Zop. | 我们做一下＂有思意＂练习，有 |
| [13:41] | – Zip. – Zap. | －意 －思 |
| [13:42] | – Zop. – Zip. | －有 －意 |
| [13:43] | Zap. | 思 |
| [13:45] | The answer is no. | 答案是＂不行＂ |
| [13:47] | OK, so the thing with improv is we try not to say no. | 即兴演出的重点是 试著不要说＂不行＂ |
| [13:52] | Instead we say “yes and” ’cause improv’s all about | 而是说＂对，而且…＂ 因为即兴演出就是要倾听 |
| [13:54] | listening and respecting your fellow improvisers, so… | 并尊重其他即兴演出的演员 |
| [13:58] | Well, are there any other warm-ups maybe we could try? | 有没有别的热身练习？ |
| [14:02] | Oh, yeah. | 有啊 |
| [14:04] | Eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. | |
| [14:06] | Six, five, four, three, two, one. | |
| [14:07] | Three, two, one, three, two, one, three, two, one. | |
| [14:08] | Farm! | 农场 |
| [14:13] | Take your hands off my princess! | 手别碰我的公主 |
| [14:16] | – Arr, shiver me timbers. – Wild Wild West. | －我的妈呀 －蛮荒大西部 |
| [14:18] | OK. OK. OK! OK! | 好… |
| [14:20] | High. | 你好 |
| [14:22] | Camp. | 夏令营 |
| [14:24] | High camp Ba Da Da! | 你好，夏令营 |
| [14:27] | Deborah, is it worth it? | 黛博拉，你至于吗？ |
| [14:29] | Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Is it worth it? | 你至于吗… |
| [14:33] | Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Is it worth it? | 你至于吗…、至于吗… |
| [14:48] | OK, everybody. We are Bearprov. How you feeling tonight? | 各位，我们是熊熊剧团 你们今天晚上好吗？ |
| [14:52] | OK, make some noise for our guest monologist | 请热烈欢迎我们的客座独白者 和喜剧界传奇人物 |
| [14:55] | and comedy legend, Deborah Vance! | －黛博拉凡斯 －我爱你 |
| [15:03] | Whoo-hoo! Whoo! | 哇哦 |
| [15:04] | Yeah! | 耶！ |
| [15:07] | OK, I just need a suggestion. | 好，请各位给我一个建议 |
| [15:09] | – Problematic comedian. – Pineapple. | －问题喜剧演员 －凤梨 |
| [15:10] | Oh, AIDS. | 爱滋病 |
| [15:12] | I heard pineapple. | 我听到凤梨 |
| [15:17] | Pineapple. | 凤梨 |
| [15:20] | Pineapple reminds me of another prickly subject– | 凤梨让我想到另一个敏感议题 |
| [15:23] | pediatric AIDS. | 儿童爱滋病 |
| [15:42] | – Hey. – Hey. | -你好 -你好 |
| [15:53] | This is already better than improv. | 这已经比即兴演出好玩了 |
| [15:57] | Ooh, uh, 5 bucks each. | １个人５块钱 |
| [16:00] | OK, this is for me, her, | 好，这是我，她 |
| [16:02] | and everybody in line behind us! | 和所有在后面排队的人的入场费 |
| [16:07] | Deborah Vance loves to party. | 黛博拉凡斯热爱狂欢 |
| [16:10] | Thank you. Oh, and they’re with us too. | 谢谢，他们是跟我们来的 来吧，各位 |
| [16:11] | Come on, fellas. | 没问题 |
| [16:14] | Hi. Hi. Oh, watch out. | 小心 |
| [16:16] | Your mother’s here. Ha. | 你妈来了 哈 |
| [16:17] | Look who fucking came. | 看看是谁大驾光临了 |
| [16:19] | – Deborah fucking Vance. – Ooh, hi. | 黛博拉凡斯 – 你好 |
| [16:21] | You look amazing. | 你好美 |
| [16:22] | This is my friend Ava. | －这是我朋友艾娃 |
| [16:23] | Oh, hey, cool. What’s up? | －你好 |
| [16:25] | What are you drinking tonight, huh? | 你今晚要喝什么？ |
| [16:27] | Come on. | 来吧 |
| [16:28] | Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. | 走，走，走 |
| [16:34] | – Go, Deborah! – Yeah! | 黛博拉 |
| [16:37] | Go, go, go, go, go. | 走，走 |
| [16:40] | Who wants to order pizza? On me! | －谁想叫披萨，我请客 －万岁 |
| [16:43] | Or should we just say fuck it and order Chez Panisse? | 要不要干脆叫帕尼斯外卖？ |
| [16:46] | No, no, no. Pizza, pizza. | 不要，还是叫披萨… |
| [16:47] | I hope to see you at my ceremony tomorrow. | 我明天的学位典礼你们可要来啊 |
| [16:54] | How old do you think I am? | 你觉得我几岁？ |
| [16:55] | I have a boyfriend. | 我有男朋友 |
| [16:59] | Love it. | 超爱 |
| [17:01] | I love it. | 我喜欢 |
| [17:03] | Hold my wig. All right. | －扶住我的假发 －好 |
| [17:09] | Chug, chug, chug, chug, | 喝… |
| [17:10] | chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! | 喝…喝 |
| [17:40] | I know all four of you are graduating, | 我知道你们４个人快毕业了 |
| [17:42] | so you need to learn about wines. | 所以要学点葡萄酒的知识 |
| [17:45] | There’s Brunello. | 有布鲁奈罗 |
| [17:47] | There’s Barbaresco. | 有芭芭莱斯科 |
| [17:49] | And then there’s the king of Italian reds, Barolo. | 再来是意大利红酒之王，巴罗洛 |
| [17:55] | Huh? Nice mouthfeel, right? | 很顺口吧？ |
| [17:58] | You know, Chris knows a little something | 顺不顺口克里斯最懂了 |
| [17:59] | about mouthfeel, huh? | 是吧？ |
| [18:01] | Oh, oh! Yes! Yes! | 太好了… |
| [18:04] | See? We all make jokes, right? | 我们都会开玩笑，是吧？ |
| [18:07] | Ooh! Oh. | 哦，哦 |
| [18:08] | It’s Jimmy on the phone. Jimmy Junior. | 是吉米，小吉米 |
| [18:10] | He used to be with Latitude. | 他是纬度公司的人 |
| [18:11] | He’s very good. | 非常专业 |
| [18:13] | Hey, it’s our manager! | －经纪人大人来电了 |
| [18:14] | Jimmy! | －吉米 |
| [18:16] | Oh, gosh. | 这… |
| [18:18] | There’s nobody in there. OK, Jimmy. | 这里没有人，好，吉米 |
| [18:20] | I’m sorry for the late-night call, | 抱歉这么晚打电话给你 |
| [18:21] | but something’s going on at the network, | 但是电视网出事了 |
| [18:23] | and they canceled your test show. | －他们取消了你的测试 |
| [18:24] | – What? – Yeah. | －什么？－对 |
| [18:26] | – Fuck. – No. No. Why? | －天杀的 不可能，为什么？ |
| [18:27] | – Did they say why? – I don’t know. | 他们有说为什么吗？ 我不知道 |
| [18:29] | It could be because of this supercut | 可能是好几个人 |
| [18:30] | a bunch of people have sent to me. | 寄给我的那个大全集 |
| [18:31] | But I’m trying to get to the bottom of it, | 但我正在查 |
| [18:32] | and I’ll call you as soon as I do. | 一有答案马上告诉你 |
| [18:34] | OK, call– call me as soon as you know. | 好，知道原因后马上告诉我 |
| [18:36] | Yeah, I just said I would. | 对，我刚刚就说了 |
| [18:37] | And then get me the info for that crisis PR woman | 再查一下我吃艾蒙豆腐 帮我摆平的 |
| [18:40] | I used when I groped Elmo. | 那个女公关的电话 |
| [18:41] | OK, to the best of my knowledge, | 据我所知 你没有 |
| [18:43] | you did not grope any “Sesame Street” characters. | 吃任何芝麻街人物的豆腐 |
| [18:44] | But yeah, I’ll send you Jana’s info, OK? | 但我会把珍娜的电话传给你，好吗？ |
| [18:47] | Call me! | －打给我 |
| [18:48] | OK. I’ll call you. Bye. | －好，我会的，再见 |
| [18:50] | Can’t believe this is happening now! | 竟然在这个节骨眼发生这种事 |
| [18:52] | I know. It’s really bad timing. | 是啊，时机真的很不凑巧 |
| [18:55] | I finally get an ounce of relevance. | 我终于有了一丁点重要性 |
| [18:57] | I’m this close. | 眼看就要成功 |
| [18:59] | And they just want to take it away from me again. | 而他们又想夺走这一切 |
| [19:02] | I’m–I’m sorry to say this, | 我也不想这么说 |
| [19:04] | but, I mean, you’re not the only victim here. | 但你不是这里唯一的受害者 |
| [19:07] | Oh? Oh, really? | 是吗 |
| [19:09] | Who’s the other victim? | 另一个是谁？ |
| [19:10] | Someone who was offended by a joke? | 某个因为笑话而不爽的人吗？ |
| [19:12] | – Many jokes. – I’m sorry. | －是好多个笑话 －抱歉 |
| [19:14] | People are too easily offended now. | 现代人太容易被冒犯了 |
| [19:16] | If you don’t like a joke, don’t laugh! | 如果不喜欢我的笑话，不要笑就好了 |
| [19:19] | They’re not. | 他们没有笑啊 |
| [19:20] | This is insane. | 这简直是发神经 |
| [19:21] | Me! I’m being taken down by a liberal mob. | 我耶 我居然被自由派暴民下架了 |
| [19:24] | Me, who was the first person to be fined by the FCC | 我可是第一个因在电视上讲堕胎二字 |
| [19:27] | for saying the word “abortion” on TV! | 而被联邦通讯委员会开罚的人 |
| [19:30] | – Why come after me? – Hey, hey. | 为什么对我穷追猛打？ |
| [19:32] | This is not a value judgment on your entire being. | －这不是对你个人的价值评判 |
| [19:35] | Oh, really? | －真的吗？ |
| [19:36] | They’re–they’re just upset | 他们只是因为 |
| [19:37] | about some mistakes you made. | 你犯的某些错误而不高兴 |
| [19:38] | Jokes I made. | 是我说的笑话 |
| [19:40] | Jokes that everybody was doing at the time. | 那时大家都说这种笑话 |
| [19:42] | Yes, and the jokes were hurtful and shitty. | 对，那些笑话伤人又差劲 |
| [19:46] | Both things can be true. | 这两件事并不冲突 |
| [19:48] | You get to be rich and famous for making jokes, | 你因为说笑话而名利双收 |
| [19:50] | and people are allowed to have their reactions to them. | 而人们有权对那些笑话做出反应 |
| [19:53] | I mean, why not use your comedian brain | 为什么不能发挥你的喜剧长才 |
| [19:54] | to fight through your defensiveness | 克服你的怒气 |
| [19:56] | and think outside of yourself? | 跳脱自己思考？ |
| [19:58] | Isn’t that what good comics do? | 优秀的喜剧演员不都是这样吗？ |
| [20:01] | Why don’t you just apologize? | 你为什么不道歉算了？ |
| [20:02] | No. | 不行 |
| [20:04] | Never apologize for a joke. | 绝对不能为笑话道歉 |
| [20:06] | Yeah, you keep saying that, but why not? | 对，这句话你说了好几遍 但是为什么不行？ |
| [20:09] | Because… | －因为… |
| [20:12] | you just don’t, OK? | －谁在里面？ |
| [20:14] | Good one. | －好理由 |
| [20:15] | Besides, if I apologize, | －反正就是不可以，好吗？ |
| [20:16] | it’ll just add fuel to the fire. | 而且道歉只会火上加油 |
| [20:18] | Deborah– | －黛博拉 |
| [20:19] | I can’t be woke. | －我没办法觉醒 |
| [20:20] | – I’m exhausted! – OK. | 我精疲力尽了 好 |
| [20:23] | I know this feels like the end of the world, | 我知道这感觉像是世界末日 |
| [20:26] | but it really isn’t. | 但真的不是 |
| [20:27] | No one’s actually canceled. | 没有人会真的被取消 |
| [20:29] | Don’t you lecture me. | 少训我 |
| [20:33] | I was canceled before there was even a name for it. | 我早在这个名词出现之前就被取消了 |
| [20:35] | They only gave it a name after | 当这事发生在有权有势的男人身上时 |
| [20:37] | it started happening to powerful men. | 才有了＂取消＂这个名称 |
| [20:39] | Problem is, I don’t have the time | 问题是我没有时间 |
| [20:40] | to go to Europe and wait it out. | 到欧洲去避风头 |
| [20:43] | I don’t have any time! | 我已经没有时间了 |
| [20:46] | And I certainly don’t have the time to stand here | 更没有时间站在这里 |
| [20:47] | debating it with you. | 跟你辩论 |
| [20:50] | I have a Barolo decanting downstairs. | 我在楼下有一瓶巴罗洛在醒酒 |
| [20:54] | Deborah, I just think apologizing is the right thing to do. | 黛博拉，我只是认为你该道歉 |
| [20:57] | Hello? | 有人吗？ |
| [20:59] | It’s so easy for you to say what’s right or wrong. | 你评断是非很简单 |
| [21:02] | It’s never that simple. | 但事情永远没有这么单纯 |
| [21:04] | One day, you’ll understand that. | －总有一天你会明白的 |
| [21:05] | Can someone open the door? | －拜托开门 |
| [21:13] | Nice. | 好耶 |
| [21:18] | Up, up, up, up! | 该起床了 |
| [21:20] | Time to get up. The day looks fabulous! | 今天又是美好的一天… |
| [21:22] | Up, up, up, up– | 起床，起床 |
| [21:28] | Contacts… | 联系人 |
| [21:30] | D, D, D, D, D. | 黛，黛… |
| [21:32] | Deborah. | 黛博拉 |
| [21:37] | Deborah, yes. | －黛博拉… |
| [21:38] | What are you doing? | －你在做什么？ |
| [21:39] | Are you going through my phone? | －你在偷看我的手机？ |
| [21:40] | Nope. | －没有 |
| [21:41] | 725840392… | |
| [21:43] | Oh, my God, are you trying to memorize Deborah’s number? | 天啊，你在背黛博拉的电话号码？ |
| [21:45] | 3972584… | |
| [21:47] | – 22, 19, 500. – Stop. Stop it. | －２２，１９ ３，别说了… |
| [21:50] | – 25,600– – No, 725– | |
| [21:53] | 8, 6, 7, 5, 3, 0, 99. | －不是，７２５８… －６００，６７５３０ |
| [21:56] | – Stop! Please, just stop. – Seven, purple– | －５…拜托你别说了 －９９，７，圈圈，聊天 |
| [21:57] | Why are you ruining this for me? | 为什么要这样害我？ |
| [21:59] | This is why I don’t hook up with Little Debbies. | 所以我才不勾搭小黛比 |
| [22:01] | Oh. | 哦 |
| [22:02] | You’re a monster. | 你是禽兽，这个床单的密度 |
| [22:03] | And there is no way that these are 800 thread count sheets. | 也绝对不是８００支，再见 |
| [22:06] | – Goodbye. – Oh, you little bitch. | 你这个小贱人 |
| [22:11] | Oh, my God! | 我的天啊 |
| [22:13] | I’m never drinking again. | 我再也不喝酒了 |
| [22:17] | Ms. Vance. | 凡斯小姐 |
| [22:19] | Hi. Gloria from the dean’s office. | 我是院长办公室的葛洛莉亚 |
| [22:21] | – Oh, hi. – Hi. | 哦。你好 -你好 |
| [22:23] | Um, I am so sorry, | 很抱歉 |
| [22:25] | but we are going to have to cancel the ceremony. | 但是我们必须取消今天的典礼 |
| [22:28] | What? Why? | 什么，为什么？ |
| [22:30] | There are a number of groups that are planning on protesting | 有几个团体打算抗议 |
| [22:33] | due to a video of your material that’s been circulating. | 你在网上流传的一段影片 |
| [22:36] | Well, this is the first I’m hearing of this. | 这还是我第一次听说这件事 |
| [22:39] | After the Condoleezza Rice incident, | 莱斯事件后 |
| [22:41] | we realized it was better to cancel | 我们发现最好取消 |
| [22:42] | to avoid any potential violence. | 以避免发生暴力冲突 |
| [22:44] | Smart. She might kill someone. | 聪明，她可能会杀人 |
| [22:46] | We do still plan to offer you the degree, | 我们还是要颁发学位给你 |
| [22:49] | just in a closed-door ceremony. | 只是要择期举办 |
| [22:51] | At some point. | 不公开的仪式 |
| [22:52] | Fantastic. | 真是好极了 |
| [22:54] | Also, you have been invited to a town hall | 还有你受邀参加学生联盟 |
| [22:57] | being hosted by a coalition of students tomorrow. | 明天主办的市民大会 |
| [22:59] | You can go if you like. | 你想去的话可以去 |
| [23:00] | Could be a good opportunity to hear their grievances. | 正好可以听听他们的不满 |
| [23:05] | Again, I’m so sorry. | 再次向你致歉 |
| [23:09] | I don’t know, town hall could be a good idea. | 不知道，出席市民大会 可能是个好主意 |
| [23:11] | Absolutely not. | 绝对不要 |
| [23:13] | I spoke to my crisis PR woman this morning. | 我今天早上 跟我的危机女公关谈过了 |
| [23:15] | She said do not engage at all. | －她说不要做任何回应 －好… |
| [23:17] | OK, OK. Please, stop yelling at me. | 拜托不要对我大呼小叫 |
| [23:20] | I’m too hungover to argue. | 我宿醉太严重，没法跟你辩 |
| [23:30] | Deborah. | －黛博拉 |
| [23:31] | I’m not gonna make it to Pride. | －我去不了同志游行了 |
| [23:33] | What? | －什么？ |
| [23:34] | No, no, there’s just too much going on. | －不，现在事情太多了 |
| [23:36] | And you know, apparently, I need to lay low. | 显然我得保持低调 |
| [23:39] | All right, I told, like, 200 gay men you were coming. | 好，但我跟２００名男同志说你会来 |
| [23:42] | It’s fine. They’ll get over it. | 没事的，他们会释怀的 |
| [23:43] | No, they won’t, actually. | 错了，他们不会释怀 |
| [23:45] | I told you this was important. | 我跟你说过这很重要 |
| [23:46] | Marcus, I do not need this right now. | 马可斯，我现在不想受这种气 |
| [23:48] | This weekend has been a– | －这个周末根本是… |
| [23:49] | I don’t want to hear it. | －我不想听 |
| [23:50] | OK, I want you to hear me, but of course you don’t, | 好吗，我要你听我说 但你当然不会听 |
| [23:52] | because you don’t fucking listen. | 因为你从来不听我说 |
| [23:58] | You know what? Forget it. | 算了 |
| [23:59] | I’ll cancel. Bye. | 我会取消的，再见 |
| [24:15] | – Can I grab a lemon? – Go for it. | －我可以拿个柠檬吗？ －请便 |
| [24:19] | Oh, hey. | 嘿 |
| [24:22] | Deborah’s not gonna be able to sign anything. | 黛博拉没办法帮你签名 |
| [24:23] | She’s not coming at all. | 她不来了 |
| [24:25] | Really? | 真的吗？ |
| [24:26] | She never misses Pride. | 同志游行她从来不会缺席 |
| [24:28] | Well, can’t blame her. | 也不能怪她 |
| [24:31] | She’s had a hell of a year. | 她今年够呛的了 |
| [24:33] | Cheers to that. | 为这个干一杯 |
| [24:34] | You can kind of blame her. | 你可以怪她的 |
| [24:37] | You OK? | 你还好吗？ |
| [24:39] | I mean, I don’t know you. | 我不认识你 |
| [24:40] | This could be your personality. | 也许你天生就是这么暴躁 |
| [24:42] | I’m just pissed off. | 我好生气 |
| [24:43] | She owes us so much, | 她亏欠我们这么多 |
| [24:44] | and she’s letting everyone down, again. | 现在又再度让所有人失望 |
| [24:46] | Well, this is what happens. | 这很正常 |
| [24:50] | You can’t stop being a fan now that she’s got more of them. | 你不能因为现在粉丝变多 就不再当她的粉丝了 |
| [24:54] | We loved her before anybody else did, | 我们比别人更早爱她 |
| [24:57] | and she loved us before anybody else did. | 她也比别人更早爱我们 |
| [25:00] | That’s not nothing. | 这是很重要的 |
| [25:02] | We–we just have to share her now. | 只是我们现在必须跟别人分享她 |
| [25:06] | But doesn’t that make you mad? | －这不会让你生气吗？ |
| [25:07] | No. | 不会 |
| [25:09] | It just means we were right all along. | 这只表示我们看人的眼光很准 |
| [25:13] | But nobody’s ever gonna know Deborah like we do. | 不会有人比我们更了解黛博拉 |
| [25:16] | She’s a survivor, like us. | 她是幸存者，跟我们一样 |
| [25:19] | Well, she’s always looking out for herself, so yeah. | 她永远只为自己著想 所以你说得没错 |
| [25:24] | You know, first time I saw her, | 你知道吗，我第一次看到她时 |
| [25:27] | she was performing at a bowling alley. | 她在保龄球馆演出 |
| [25:30] | It was right after the divorce, but she was so funny about it. | 那时候她刚离婚，但她却能幽默以待 |
| [25:34] | And I–I was howling. | 我快笑死了 |
| [25:36] | She was at rock bottom, | 那时她在人生的低谷 |
| [25:38] | but somehow, it felt like she was on top of the world. | 但是一副睥睨天下的气势 |
| [25:41] | She made me feel like I could be on top, like– | 她我觉得我也能爬上巅峰 |
| [25:46] | like I could laugh at all the… | 觉得我也能笑看 |
| [25:49] | sad things that were happening to me too. | 发生在自己身上那些悲伤的事 |
| [25:53] | Yeah, when I first saw her, | 我第一次看到她的时候 |
| [25:55] | my dad had just died. | 我父亲刚刚过世 |
| [25:59] | I’m sorry. | 我很遗憾 |
| [26:01] | Well, I’m glad you don’t feel left behind. | 我很高兴你没有觉得自己被丢下 |
| [26:04] | Sometimes, left behind is good. | 有时候被丢下是件好事 |
| [26:07] | Cher wrote the “Believe” album at 55. | 雪儿５５岁时 才写了她的专辑＂相信＂ |
| [26:10] | Did she show up at Pride that year? | 她那年有来同志大游行吗？ |
| [26:13] | No.But we got the “Believe” album. | 没有，但我们有了那张专辑 |
| [26:17] | Sometimes good things come from letting go. | 有时候放手会带来 |
| [26:23] | And letting go is actually | 美好的结果 |
| [26:25] | the theme of “Strong Enough” from the “Believe” album. | 放手其实是＂相信＂专辑中 那首＂坚强＂的主题 |
| [26:32] | Snap out of it! | 打起精神来吧 |
| [26:37] | At the tone, please record your message. | 请在哔声后留言 |
| [26:40] | Roy, it’s Marcus. | 罗伊，我是马可斯 |
| [26:42] | Give me a call when you get this. | 听到留言后请打电话给我 |
| [26:43] | I’ll be coming to QVC next week, | 我下周会去购物台 |
| [26:45] | and I’d like to talk. | 想跟你谈谈 |
| [26:53] | If we’re gonna leave water at the border for these people, | 如果要在边界放水给这些人喝 |
| [26:56] | we might as well leave | 不如也放几本 |
| [26:57] | Spanish-to-English dictionaries too. | 英西字典 |
| [27:00] | Clarence Thomas put a pubic hair | 汤玛斯在安妮塔希尔的 |
| [27:02] | on Anita Hill’s can of Coca-Cola, | 可乐罐上放了一根阴毛 |
| [27:03] | which I find disgusting. | 我觉得好恶心 |
| [27:05] | She should be drinking Diet Coke. | 她应该喝健怡可乐才对 |
| [27:09] | An NBA player had sex with 6,000… | 一个美国职篮球员 跟６０００个女人… |
| [27:18] | All right, let’s all begin. | 好，我们开始吧 |
| [27:20] | Thank you for joining us. | 谢谢各位光临 |
| [27:22] | Sharing this marketplace of ideas, right. | 共享这个理念的市场 |
| [27:25] | Hey, are you in my foreign policy section? | 你是我外交政策的来宾吗？ |
| [27:28] | No, but oh, my God, | 不是，但是… 天啊 |
| [27:30] | I cannot tell you how much that means to me. | 你这句话 对我的意义太重大了 |
| [27:33] | I have a girlfriend. | 我有女朋友了 |
| [27:35] | What? | 什么？ |
| [27:36] | Damn. Y’all are wifed up. | 天啊，你们怎么全都有主了 |
| [27:38] | Uh, ma’am, please. | －女士，拜托一下 |
| [27:40] | – Let’s get started. – Sorry. | 我们要开始了 －抱歉 |
| [27:42] | Now, this isn’t a public flogging. | 这不是公开鞭刑 |
| [27:45] | This is a dialogue for acknowledging harm | 而是一场对话承认伤害 |
| [27:48] | and fostering empathy. | 和培养同理心 |
| [27:50] | But first, Deborah, would you like to start us off? | 但首先…黛博拉，你要先开始吗？ |
| [27:54] | Sure. | 好 |
| [27:58] | Thank you for coming. | 谢谢各位的光临 |
| [28:01] | I–I had a speech prepared, | 我准备了一篇讲稿 |
| [28:03] | but I think I owe you more than my explanations. | 但我想该说的不只是解释 |
| [28:08] | I am sorry. | 我真的很抱歉 |
| [28:12] | I looked back at those jokes, and I’m embarrassed. | 我看了以前那些笑话 觉得很不好意思 |
| [28:16] | I wish I could donate a library | 我希望能捐赠一座图书馆 |
| [28:18] | or buy you all ice cream or something. | 或是请大家吃冰淇淋什么的 |
| [28:21] | Make it all go away. | 让这一切都消失于无形 |
| [28:23] | But I can’t. | 但是我做不到 |
| [28:26] | Right? | 对吧？ |
| [28:31] | OK, um… | 好… |
| [28:33] | I think I’ll just listen. | 我想我就听你们说好了 |
| [28:36] | Because I’ve said enough. | 因为我说的已经够多了 |
| [28:38] | And to be totally honest, | 而且老实说… |
| [28:42] | I’m really afraid of saying the wrong thing. | －我真的很怕说错话 |
| [28:45] | Good. | －很好 |
| [28:47] | OK, then. | 那好 |
| [28:50] | Let’s open up the floor. | 现在开放发言 |
| [28:52] | Would anyone like to share? | 有人想分享吗？ |
| [28:55] | You in the striped sweater. | 穿条纹毛衣那位 |
| [28:58] | What’s up, Deborah? | 你好吗，黛博拉？ |
| [28:59] | You don’t know me, but we actually | 你不认识我，但是 |
| [29:01] | have some stuff in common. | 我们有个共同点 |
| [29:02] | We’re both obsessed with 9/11. | 那就是都对９１１很执迷 |
| [29:06] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [29:07] | You got about 20 minutes’ worth | ９１１至少给了你２０分钟 |
| [29:09] | of raghead and terrorist jokes out of it, | 关于头巾佬和恐怖份子的笑话 |
| [29:11] | and what my family got was harassed. | 而我们家则是被骚扰 |
| [29:15] | 9/11’s the reason my elbow’s ashy. | ９１１是我手肘粗糙的原因 |
| [29:17] | ‘Cause TSA still confiscates my lotion. | 因为运输安全管理局 还一直在没收我的乳液 |
| [29:22] | Here’s the thing. I’m not even Arab. | 是这样的，我甚至不是阿拉伯人 |
| [29:24] | My family’s Punjabi. | 我们家来自旁遮普省 |
| [29:25] | So on the one hand, it does take the edge off | 虽然当你发现种族主义者 |
| [29:29] | when you realize how dumb racists really are. | 这么蠢时 会松一口气 |
| [29:32] | But on the other, it’s like, damn, dudes, | 但你又会忍不住想叫他们 |
| [29:35] | buy a shower curtain | 买个有世界地图的 |
| [29:36] | with the world map on it or something. | 浴帘什么的 |
| [29:40] | Anyway, just thought you should know. | 总之，我只是觉得你该知道 |
| [29:42] | Thank you.Anyone else? | 谢谢，还有人吗？ |
| [29:45] | Uh, you in the grey shirt. | 穿灰上衣的那位 |
| [29:48] | Hi. Uh, yeah. | 哦，耶 |
| [29:49] | I just wondered if you could address | 我想请你回应一下 |
| [29:50] | some of your ableist material. | 你关于残障歧视的笑话 |
| [29:53] | I–I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [29:54] | What is ableist? | 残障歧视是什么？ |
| [29:56] | Why do I write the emails if she doesn’t read ’em? | 她不看的话，我写那些电邮干吗？ |
| [30:00] | Your jokes that made fun of people with disabilities. | 你那些取笑残障人士的笑话 |
| [30:03] | Oh, right, yes. | 这样啊，明白 |
| [30:05] | As someone that has dyslexia, | 身为有阅读障碍的人 |
| [30:07] | or as you called it, “lysdexia,” | 或是你所谓的＂读障碍阅＂的人 |
| [30:11] | yeah, I just thought maybe you’d like to speak on that. | 我想也许你愿意解释一下 |
| [30:14] | Oh, to be honest, I didn’t realize | 说老实话 我并不知道 |
| [30:16] | dyslexia was a disability. | 阅读障碍是一种残障 |
| [30:19] | “Deborah Vance is by no means | 黛博拉凡斯绝对不是 深夜秀主持人 |
| [30:22] | “the obvious choice for late night. | 最显而易见的选择 |
| [30:24] | “Her missteps are numerous and not entirely forgivable. | 她行差踏错的次数多不胜数 而且不是全都可以原谅 |
| [30:28] | “No doubt there will be more. | 今后也想必还会犯更多错 |
| [30:30] | “But for all Vance’s typical boomer-ness, | 但是尽管凡斯是个典型的婴儿潮人士 |
| [30:34] | “there’s a curiosity that goes beyond age | 她拥有一种超脱年龄 |
| [30:36] | “and taps into something more human: | 而且更触及人性的好奇心 |
| [30:40] | “our desire to understand each other. | 那就是我们了解彼此的欲望 |
| [30:43] | “Or as her writer Ava Daniels put it, | 或是如她的写手艾娃丹尼尔斯所说 |
| [30:49] | “‘A hack is someone who does the same thing over and over. | ＂老江湖是不断炒冷饭的人＂ |
| [30:53] | “‘Deborah is the opposite. | ＂而黛博拉恰恰相反＂ |
| [30:55] | “She keeps evolving and getting better.’ | ＂她不断演化，变得更好＂ |
| [30:59] | “Watching Vance say the wrong thing | 看凡斯在电视上说错话 |
| [31:01] | “makes for entertaining TV, | 娱乐性十足 |
| [31:04] | “but watching her engage is even better. | 但是看她与人互动更精彩 |
| [31:07] | “It’s hard to say if she would be the perfect host. | 很难说她会不会是完美的主持人 |
| [31:10] | “But what she may offer us is something more interesting, | 但她能提供的是更有意思的东西 |
| [31:14] | “someone trying to connect with humanity | 某个努力与自己人性连结 |
| [31:17] | “in her attempt to connect with her own. | 进而与所有人连结的人 |
| [31:21] | And that’s worth watching.” | 而这绝对值得一看 |
| [31:23] | I mean, for a Meena Elahi article, | 以米娜伊拉希的标准来说 |
| [31:26] | that’s like a rave. | 这可是美言盛赞 |
| [31:28] | – Is it? – Yeah. | －真的吗？ －对 |
| [31:31] | Um, what– what are people saying? | 那…读者的反应如何？ |
| [31:34] | Let’s see. | 我看看 |
| [31:38] | This one guy wants you to talk to his parents for him. | 有一个人要你帮他跟父母沟通 |
| [31:42] | Ooh. OK. | 好吧 |
| [31:44] | This one woman is saying you’re a nasty, racist bitch. | 有个女人说你是个种族歧视的恶婆娘 |
| [31:49] | Couple of those. | 有几个人这么说 |
| [31:51] | Lot of engagement, though. | 回响很热烈 |
| [31:52] | That’s good. That’s really–wait. | 这是好事，真的…等等 |
| [31:56] | Shit. | 可恶 |
| [31:57] | What? | 怎么了？ |
| [32:00] | Looks like Kayla… | 到底怎么了？看来凯菈 |
| [32:02] | did actually tweet that you got late night. | 真的发文说 你是深夜秀的主持人了 |
| [32:04] | No. No– | 不要… |
| [32:08] | It’s really blowing up. | 已经疯传了 |
| [32:09] | Jimmy, what the hell happened? | 吉米，搞什么鬼？ |
| [32:11] | I fucking told her not to do that! | 我明明叫她别发文 |
| [32:13] | She’s not gonna force their hand! | 电视网不会著她的道 |
| [32:14] | This is just gonna backfire! | －这样只会造成反效果 |
| [32:16] | I’m actually pulling up to your house right now. | －我已经快到你家了 |
| [32:17] | – You’re here? – Yes. | －你来了？ －对 |
| [32:21] | Is she insane? I know. I’m so sorry. | 她疯了吗？ 我知道，真的很抱歉 |
| [32:23] | If I wasn’t fucked before, I am now. | －若我之前还没完蛋，现在肯定完蛋 |
| [32:24] | She shouldn’t have tweeted that. | －她不该推文… |
| [32:27] | The hell was she thinking? I’m gonna kill her! | 她在想什么？ 我要宰了她 |
| [32:28] | Listen. | 听我说 |
| [32:29] | The network canceled your test show | 电视网取消测试 |
| [32:31] | because they realized the guest spot was the test. | 是因为发现上次客座主持就是测试了 |
| [32:35] | It’s you, Deborah. | 是你了，黛博拉 |
| [32:38] | You got late night. | 你拿到深夜秀了 |
| [32:41] | What’s going on? | －怎么回事？ |
| [32:42] | You’re scaring the dogs. | －你吓到狗狗了 |
| [32:46] | I got it. | 我拿到了 |
| [32:48] | I got–I got late night. | 我拿到…深夜秀了 |
| [32:50] | – What? – What? | －什么？ －什么？ |
| [32:52] | – Oh, my fucking God! – Oh, my God! | 我的天啊… |
| [32:53] | Oh, my God! | 天啊 |