时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:00] | Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience. | 《燃情克利夫兰》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的 |
[00:05] | Oh, look at our baby. | 看我们的小宝贝 |
[00:06] | He’s so depressed. | 它好郁闷啊 |
[00:10] | Maybe we should just take him back to the vet. | 也许我们应该再带它去看兽医 |
[00:12] | No, the vet said he was fine, physically. | 不用 兽医说它身体没事 |
[00:14] | Well, maybe he’s just sad | 也许它只是很难过 |
[00:15] | because Joy looks like a bone he can’t chew on. | 因为乔依像一根它不能咬的骨头 |
[00:27] | Or maybe because for every one of our years, he ages seven. | 或者是因为人类每度过一年 它相当于老了7岁 |
[00:31] | That would depress the hell out of me. | 那反正会让我郁闷死的 |
[00:36] | Hello, Victoria. | 你好 维多利亚 |
[00:37] | Your dog needs help. | 你家的狗有病 |
[00:38] | Oh, we were just saying that. And you are? | 我们刚刚正在说这事呢 你是哪位 |
[00:42] | I’m Sally, your next door neighbor. | 我是莎莉 住你隔壁的邻居 |
[00:45] | I was your nurse when you were in the hospital. | 你住院时 我是你的护士 |
[00:47] | I made you a lasagna when you gave away your kidney. | 你捐肾时 我为你做了千层面 |
[00:49] | You gave me a makeover. | 你帮我做过形象改造 |
[00:50] | Oh, not recently, I hope. | 从效果来看 很久前的事了吧 |
[00:55] | Well, you’re making this easier. | 你让这事好办了 |
[00:57] | Here’s a bill. | 这是账单 |
[00:58] | Your dog got into my house, | 你家的狗跑来我家 |
[00:59] | chewed through the electrical cord on my crockpot, | 咬烂了炖锅的插头线 |
[01:02] | and the sloppy Joe ended up on the floor. | 牛肉酱[邋遢乔]摔在了地上 |
[01:04] | All right, I literally didn’t understand a word you just said. | 你说的话 我一个字都没明白 |
[01:08] | Is sloppy Joe your husband? | 邋遢乔是你的老公吗 |
[01:11] | Yes, Victoria, sloppy Joe is my husband. | 没错 维多利亚 牛肉酱是我老公 |
[01:14] | And my kids are pork and beans. | 我的孩子是猪肉豆[波克和比斯] |
[01:17] | Yes, I’ve seen them. | 是的 我见过他们 |
[01:20] | Sally, we are so sorry. | 莎莉 太对不起了 |
[01:23] | We will take care of it. | 我们会付钱的 |
[01:24] | – Thank you. – Okay. | -谢谢 -不客气 |
[01:25] | George, you can’t chew through cords. | 乔治 你不能咬插头线 |
[01:27] | You could kill yourself. | 你会没命的 |
[01:29] | Oh, my God, what if he was trying to kill himself? | 我的天 如果它的确是想自杀呢 |
[01:31] | Is he that depressed? | 它郁闷到这程度了吗 |
[01:32] | What are we gonna do? | 我们该怎么做 |
[01:34] | Maybe we should call that lady | 也许我们应该找电台那位 |
[01:35] | that talks to animals on the radio. | 可以和动物对话的女士 |
[01:37] | Yeah, she comes to your home, | 真的 她来你家 |
[01:38] | interviews the family, | 采访家里人 |
[01:39] | and then tells you how to fix the problem. | 然后告诉你如何解决问题 |
[01:41] | Then a week later, you go on her show | 一周后 你上她的节目 |
[01:42] | and you tell her what happened. | 告诉她结果如何 |
[01:43] | In the meantime, maybe there’s something | 在此期间 也许我们可以做些什么 |
[01:45] | we can do to cheer him up. | 让它开心起来 |
[01:47] | What do I do when I need cheering up? | 我需要开心的时候会做什么呢 |
[01:49] | He can’t do that, Joy. | 它做不了那事儿 乔依 |
[01:50] | He’s been fixed. | 它已经被阉了 |
[02:09] | Yeah, and how does that make you feel though? | 好吧 这事让你有什么感想 |
[02:12] | What’s he saying? | 它说什么 |
[02:13] | – Do you do that often? – What? | -你经常这样做吗 -什么 |
[02:15] | Interrupt him. | 打断它 |
[02:17] | Milo, would you please take George in the kitchen | 米洛 麻烦把乔治抱去厨房 |
[02:19] | while I have a word with his people? | 我要和它的家人谈谈 |
[02:21] | Yeah. | 好的 |
[02:22] | All right. Let’s go, boy. | 好啦 我们走 小家伙 |
[02:25] | Your dog is extremely traumatized. | 你们的狗心理受到了极大的创伤 |
[02:27] | You see, animals soak up emotions, | 动物会吸收人的情绪 |
[02:30] | both good and bad. | 好与坏都会 |
[02:32] | So, I believe that he is just reacting to the anxiety | 我相信它只是对这家里已经存在的 |
[02:35] | and depression that already exists in the home. | 焦虑与郁闷作出反应 |
[02:37] | What are you saying? So we’re the problem? | 你说什么 我们是问题源头吗 |
[02:39] | Well, this is a very unusual | 你们这样的生活方式 |
[02:41] | family arrangement you have here. | 相当与众不同 |
[02:42] | I mean, three grown sisters living with their mother? | 三位成年姐妹与母亲同住 |
[02:47] | Oh, she’s not our mother. | 她不是我们的母亲 |
[02:54] | You know what? | 这样吧 |
[02:55] | Let’s try a quick assessment here. | 我们来快速评估下 |
[02:56] | Melanie, I want you to pet me like you pet George. | 梅兰妮 你来像爱抚乔治那样爱抚我 |
[03:03] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[03:06] | Okay, I’m gonna stop you, ’cause that’s just sad. | 我得让你住手 太悲催了 |
[03:11] | You’re going through something, aren’t you? | 你在经历什么事 对吗 |
[03:13] | Oh, my God, maybe it’s me who’s depressing George. | 我的天 也许让乔治郁闷的人是我 |
[03:16] | You see, I just– I just got over a pretty serious illness. | 我刚刚熬过了一场重病 |
[03:18] | Yes, he mentioned that. | 是的 它提过 |
[03:24] | Well, I-I feel, I don’t know, | 我感觉 我也不知道 |
[03:25] | like I was spared for a reason. | 我能逃过一劫是有原因的 |
[03:26] | But I don’t know what that reason is. | 但我不知道是什么原因 |
[03:27] | And I-I guess I’m feeling a little lost. | 我想我感觉有些迷惘 |
[03:29] | Maybe George is picking up on that. | 也许这点影响了乔治 |
[03:31] | I’m so sorry. | 太对不起了 |
[03:31] | Oh, don’t be, Melanie. | 别道歉 梅兰妮 |
[03:32] | It’s not you, it’s me. | 不是你 是我的错 |
[03:34] | And I’m not just saying that because | 我这样说并不只是因为 |
[03:35] | it’s the dramatic thing to do. | 这可以让我献上狗血的表演 |
[03:39] | I’m a recent widow, | 我新近守寡 |
[03:41] | and I am still depressed about that. | 我还没从阴影中走出来 |
[03:43] | I mean, I’d like to start dating again, | 我也愿意重返情场 |
[03:45] | but it’s so hard to find a nice, normal guy. | 但要找一位普通的好男人太难了 |
[03:47] | Oh, come on. | 不是吧 |
[03:49] | Cleveland’s filled with nice, normal guys | 克利夫兰到处都是普通的好男人 |
[03:51] | who’d love to go out with you. | 他们肯定都乐意和你约会的 |
[03:52] | You ever date guys who aren’t movie stars? | 你曾经和不是电影明星的男人约会过吗 |
[03:54] | You mean like agents or directors? | 你是说经纪人或导演吗 |
[03:58] | Not if I can avoid it. | 能不约就尽量不约 |
[04:01] | Are you sure it’s not Joy? | 你确定不是乔依的原因吗 |
[04:03] | She depresses me. | 她都能让我郁闷 |
[04:05] | Me? | 我 |
[04:07] | If anyone, it’s you. | 要说是谁也是你 |
[04:08] | When you spoke to George, | 你和乔治聊天的时候 |
[04:09] | did he use the words, “crone,” “hag,” “fossil”? | 它有没有说”丑婆娘” “母夜叉” “粪坑石”之类的词 |
[04:14] | No, but this unattractive sniping | 没有 但这种毒舌互掐 |
[04:16] | is a perfect example of the tension | 正是狗狗很敏感的 |
[04:18] | that dogs are sensitive to. | 紧张感的绝佳例子 |
[04:20] | Oh, we’re not sniping. | 我们没互掐 |
[04:21] | – No, that’s how we talk. – Yeah. | -我们说话就这德性 -没错 |
[04:24] | We keep things loose and easy. | 我们让气氛保持轻”松””随意” |
[04:26] | Which was Joy’s nickname in high school. | 那正是乔依高中时的绰号 |
[04:32] | Said the woman who was cave-schooled. | 上原始人学校的老太有什么资格说 |
[04:38] | Oh, my God, we do do it. | 我的天 我们的确互掐 |
[04:40] | Listen. This isn’t anyone’s fault, okay? | 听着 这不是哪个人的错 |
[04:42] | You’re all to blame. | 你们全有责任 |
[04:45] | Joy, Elka, you need to be more polite to one another, | 乔依 爱尔卡 你们要对彼此礼貌些 |
[04:48] | even when the dog isn’t around. | 哪怕小狗不在身边也一样 |
[04:50] | Victoria, you need to find yourself | 维多利亚 你要为自己找位 |
[04:52] | a nice, normal guy, okay? | 普通的好男人 好吗 |
[04:55] | And Melanie– sweet, innocent, | 梅兰妮 甜美天真 |
[04:57] | naive, dumb-as-a-duck Melanie. | 幼稚蠢到家的梅兰妮 |
[05:03] | Melanie, you need to find a purpose to your life. | 梅兰妮 你需要找到人生的目标 |
[05:06] | Better get going, Dr. Deb. | 得走了 德布医生 |
[05:07] | We have an appointment with a private client. | 我们和一位客户约好了 |
[05:09] | Yes, yes. | 是的 |
[05:09] | If you ladies will excuse me, | 女士们 失陪了 |
[05:12] | I need to see a horse about a man. | 在下”辞告”了 |
[05:13] | 原句为See a man about a horse 为礼貌告辞语 她故意说反了 | |
[05:19] | Here’s my number. | 这是我的号码 |
[05:20] | So if you have any questions about anything, | 你在任何方面有任何问题 |
[05:22] | just feel free to call. | 随时打我电话 |
[05:24] | Is Dr. Deb always so strange? | 德布医生总是这么奇怪吗 |
[05:27] | Um, actually, in the world where people talk to animals, | 其实在懂动物语界 |
[05:30] | she’s pretty normal. | 她挺正常的 |
[05:33] | Milo, come here, boy! | 米洛 快来 小家伙 |
[05:37] | She has her quirks. | 她有她的怪癖 |
[05:45] | Hey, did you have fun at the park? | 你在公园玩得开心吗 |
[05:46] | Did you meet any nice, average guys? | 有没有碰到普通的好男人 |
[05:48] | I met an undercover policeman. | 我碰到一位卧底警察 |
[05:50] | Sounds promising. | 听起来有希望啊 |
[05:51] | Wait, how did you know he was undercover? | 慢着 你怎么知道他是卧底 |
[05:53] | Well, I needed to find out | 我想弄清楚 |
[05:53] | if he was ordinary and not rich, | 他是否普通而且没钱 |
[05:55] | so I asked him how much money he had | 我问如果他想找人约会 |
[05:57] | and if he was looking for a date, | 他有多少钱 |
[05:58] | and he arrested me for suspected prostitution. | 他以涉嫌卖淫将我逮捕 |
[06:03] | I need a drink. | 我要喝一杯 |
[06:04] | – Funny you should say that. – Why? | -你这话还真有趣 -为什么 |
[06:06] | I say that five times a day. | 我一天会说上五次 |
[06:08] | Funny, because I just got a job today | 有趣是因为我今天找到份工作 |
[06:11] | as a bartender at stormi’s. | 在暴风餐厅做酒保 |
[06:12] | – Bartender? – Stay with me. | -酒保 -继续听我说 |
[06:15] | I was thinking, when in my life | 我在想 我这辈子 |
[06:17] | did I feel the most fulfilled? | 什么时候觉得最充实 |
[06:18] | And it was when my kids were young | 是我孩子小的时候 |
[06:20] | and I was giving them advice. | 我给他们建议 |
[06:21] | I like giving advice. | 我喜欢给别人建议 |
[06:23] | So then I realized, maybe that’s my purpose. | 于是我意识到 也许这是我的人生目标 |
[06:26] | Well, bartenders do give advice. | 酒保的确爱给人建议 |
[06:28] | And here’s my first bit of advice: | 我的第一个建议是 |
[06:30] | Come with me to the bar tonight. | 今晚和我一起去酒吧 |
[06:31] | There’s a ton of average guys there. | 那里有数不尽的普通男人 |
[06:33] | Fives as far as the eye can see. | 放眼过去全是5分档次的 |
[06:37] | Oh, and I’ll card you out loud. | 我收你的卡时大声报名字 |
[06:38] | I’m in. | 我去 |
[06:42] | Oh. I didn’t know you’d be here. | 我不知道你会在这里 |
[06:45] | I didn’t know you’d be here. | 我不知道你会在这里 |
[06:46] | Hey, I thought you guys were supposed to be getting along. | 你们两个不是要和睦相处吗 |
[06:49] | We tried all morning not to snipe at each other, | 我们今早一直忍住不要互掐 |
[06:51] | and knowing we can’t snipe at each other | 知道我们不能互掐 |
[06:53] | only made us snipe at each other more. | 却导致我们掐得更厉害 |
[06:55] | Well, you can’t run away from the problem. | 你不能逃避问题 |
[06:56] | The problem is 92 years old. I think I can. | 问题已经92岁高龄了 我觉得我能逃得开 |
[07:02] | We are doing this for George. | 我们这样做是为了乔治 |
[07:04] | Now come on. Come join us at the bar, | 走吧 和我们一起去酒吧 |
[07:06] | and you guys can have dinner together– | 你们可以共进晚餐 |
[07:07] | just the two of you. | 就你们两个 |
[07:08] | It’s easy to get along with people you dislike. | 和不喜欢的人相处很容易 |
[07:10] | Just say the opposite of what you’re thinking. | 心里想的 反着说出来就行 |
[07:13] | Well, I can do that. | 我能做到 |
[07:15] | Me too. | 我也是 |
[07:17] | You know, Elka, I can stand you. | 爱尔卡 我可以忍受你 |
[07:21] | And your outfit is so appropriate for your age. | 你的衣服 太适合你这个年纪了 |
[07:26] | That’s funny. | 真好笑 |
[07:28] | Let’s go, young lady. I’m driving. | 走吧 小姑娘 我开车 |
[07:31] | Oh, good. You’re an excellent driver. | 太好了 你是个优秀的司机 |
[07:35] | And your reading every billboard out loud | 你大声地读每块广告牌 |
[07:37] | makes me want to keep myself alive. | 让我想好好活下去 |
[07:54] | Does this taste a little sweet to you? | 你觉不觉得太甜了 |
[07:58] | – No, it’s good. – Oh, great. | -不 很好 -太好了 |
[08:00] | Here’s your Manhattan. | 你的曼哈顿鸡尾酒 |
[08:04] | Give me a shot of anything. | 随便给我来杯烈酒 |
[08:06] | Oh, things aren’t going well with Elka? | 和爱尔卡相处不顺利吗 |
[08:08] | No, the opposite thing is too easy to translate. | 没错 反话太容易被解读成正话了 |
[08:11] | She just called me a choosy virgin. | 她刚叫我挑剔的处女 |
[08:13] | I told her I’d like to unchoke the life into her. | 我告诉她我想把生命力灌进她的脖子 |
[08:17] | Keep ’em coming. | 续杯 |
[08:18] | Ooh, are you sure about that? | 你确定吗 |
[08:19] | That’s your fourth one. | 这已经是第四杯了 |
[08:21] | Hey, I need a few drinks so I can go home | 我得喝几杯 这样才能回家 |
[08:22] | and be nice to the old lady. | 对老婆[老太太]客气点 |
[08:23] | Tell me about it. | 感同身受 |
[08:27] | You know, it sounds like you could use a little advice. | 话说 听起来你需要听听建议 |
[08:31] | Oh, I’m glad you’re back. | 我真高兴你回来了 |
[08:33] | I missed you. | 我想你了 |
[08:35] | And I you. | 我也一样 |
[08:38] | By the way, not that this is a contest, | 顺便说下 不是说这是比赛 |
[08:40] | but I will win. | 但我会赢的 |
[08:41] | You will insult me before I insult you. | 你会先出口伤我 |
[08:44] | I don’t think so, Joy. | 我不这么认为 乔依 |
[08:47] | Oh, dear. | 天呐 |
[08:49] | My soda’s gone flat. | 我的汽水没汽了[平胸] |
[08:53] | Nice try. | 想得美 |
[08:55] | You must think I was born… | 你一定当姐是… |
[08:59] | Yesterday. | 昨天才出生吧 |
[09:02] | I’m sorry, Elka. | 不好意思 爱尔卡 |
[09:03] | But I’m not gonna be that easy. | 但我不会那么轻易上当[随便] |
[09:07] | I see. | 明白了 |
[09:09] | Would you be a dear | 帮个忙好吗 |
[09:11] | and hand me that leathery, old bag? | 把那个旧皮包递给我[丑老太婆] |
[09:19] | Oh, why is this so hard? | 为什么这么难 |
[09:23] | But since we can’t insult each other, | 既然我们不能吐槽彼此 |
[09:25] | how about we scratch each other’s itch | 不如我们吐槽自己 |
[09:27] | and insult ourselves? | 让对方听着过瘾吧 |
[09:29] | How would that work? | 要怎么做 |
[09:30] | Well, uh, I could say | 我可以说 |
[09:32] | I use my giant man hands | 我用我巨大的男人手 |
[09:35] | to hold my skanky one-night stands | 抓住我那些放荡的一夜情 |
[09:38] | against my pathetic boy boobs. | 来表达对我平胸的不满 |
[09:42] | That sort of thing. | 类似的 |
[09:44] | Okay, your turn. | 到你了 |
[09:47] | All right. | 好吧 |
[09:53] | I got nothing. | 我无槽可吐 |
[09:56] | Nothing? | 无槽可吐 |
[09:57] | There’s thousands of things wrong with you. | 你这人的槽点数都数不清 |
[09:59] | Insult yourself, you crotchety piece of bat jerky. | 快吐槽你自己 你个反复无常的老肉干 |
[10:03] | I win. | 我赢了 |
[10:09] | It’s just that my wife finds fault in everything that I do. | 无论我做什么 我老婆都能挑出错 |
[10:12] | You know, let me ask you something. | 我问你一件事 |
[10:14] | When was the last time you gave your wife flowers for no reason? | 你上一次无故送花给你老婆是什么时候 |
[10:17] | I don’t think I’ve ever done that. | 我好像从没这么做过 |
[10:18] | Exactly. | 正是 |
[10:19] | Now there’s a flower shop around the corner. | 街角就是花店 |
[10:21] | Go there, spend too much, go home, | 去那里 花大价钱买花 回家 |
[10:23] | and then tell your wife three nice things | 然后告诉你老婆三件 |
[10:25] | you know will melt her heart. | 你知道会融化她心的事 |
[10:27] | And you know what? | 这样吧 |
[10:29] | Take this. | 这个送你 |
[10:30] | I’ll give it a try. Thanks. | 我会试下 谢谢 |
[10:33] | I’ve been helping people like that all night. | 我一晚上都在这样帮人 |
[10:35] | Really? The bar’s pretty empty. | 是吗 酒吧没什么客人嘛 |
[10:37] | Oh, well, there were more people here earlier. | 之前有不少人 |
[10:39] | But I told one guy to go home | 但我告诉一个男人要回家 |
[10:41] | and spend more time with his son. | 多陪陪儿子 |
[10:42] | And I told a group of college kids | 我告诉一帮大学孩子 |
[10:43] | that sitting around and drinking all night | 坐在这里整晚喝酒 |
[10:45] | would ruin their lives. | 会毁了他们的一生 |
[10:45] | And they listened to you? | 他们听你的了吗 |
[10:47] | Well, they left. | 反正他们走了 |
[10:49] | Melanie, your trial period is over. | 梅兰妮 你的试用期结束了 |
[10:51] | Oh, and I’m hired? | 你会雇我吗 |
[10:53] | Oh, it rhymes with hired. | 答案和”雇”是押韵的[开除] |
[10:55] | Look, the point of bartending is to encourage more drinking, | 酒保工作的意义在于鼓励饮酒 |
[10:59] | not telling people they’ve had too much | 不是告诉人们他们喝多了 |
[11:00] | or they should be home with their families. | 或是应该回家陪家人 |
[11:02] | Wait a minute. | 慢着 |
[11:03] | Where’s that bottle of chateau margaux I put aside? | 我放一边的那瓶玛歌庄园酒呢 |
[11:06] | Oh, well, I gave it away. | 我送人了 |
[11:07] | But it was to save a man’s marriage. | 但是为了拯救一个男人的婚姻 |
[11:09] | I wish I could fire you again. | 要是能再开除你一遍就好了 |
[11:14] | I’m sorry, honey. | 太遗憾了 亲爱的 |
[11:15] | How about we all head home and call it a night? | 我们都回家休息吧 |
[11:18] | No, I-I’m gonna stay, | 不 我要留下 |
[11:19] | you know, for George’s sake. | 为了乔治 |
[11:21] | I think I should take another stab | 我想我应该尝试下 |
[11:22] | at finding a regular guy. | 找一个普通男人 |
[11:23] | – Oh, good luck with that. – Have fun. | -祝你好运了 -玩得开心 |
[11:27] | Beer, please. | 请来瓶啤酒 |
[11:33] | Hello, I’m also drinking beer. | 你好 我也喝啤酒 |
[11:38] | Wow, I didn’t expect to run into Victoria Chase here. | 没想到会在这里碰到维多利亚·蔡斯 |
[11:41] | Oh, don’t think of me as a famous, glamorous actress. | 别把我看作是迷人的著名女明星 |
[11:43] | No, I’m just a nice, average girl | 我只是一个普通的好女人 |
[11:46] | having a beer with a nice, average guy. | 和一个普通的好男人一起喝啤酒 |
[11:48] | I’ve often been described as average. | 经常有人说我是个普通人[正常身材不肥] |
[11:53] | So, what do you do for fun? | 你平常娱乐做什么 |
[11:55] | Oh, you know, the four “b”s– | 四个B |
[11:57] | beer, barbecue, bowling, batting cages. | 啤酒 烧烤 保龄球 棒球挥棒练习 |
[12:00] | You’re perfect. | 你太完美了 |
[12:01] | Never heard that before. | 这话倒是从未听过 |
[12:05] | Well, I never thought I’d say these words: | 我从未想过我会说这句话 |
[12:07] | I went bowling and I think it’s something I could be good at. | 我去打了保龄球 我觉得我能成高手 |
[12:11] | You realize you didn’t knock over a single pin? | 你应该知道自己一个球瓶都没击倒吧 |
[12:14] | Well, that’s not really the point of bowling, is it? | 保龄球的意义并不在于此 不是吗 |
[12:17] | It kind of is. | 其实就在于此 |
[12:19] | – You’re cute. – Oh, and you are fun. | -你真可爱 -你真有趣 |
[12:26] | Oh, it’s just my annoying neighbor, | 是我那烦人的邻居 |
[12:27] | Julie or Susan or– | 朱莉或是苏珊 |
[12:29] | I don’t know, something like that. | 不知道 类似的名字 |
[12:30] | – Sally? – Yeah, that’s it. | -莎莉吗 -是的 |
[12:31] | How did you know? | 你怎么知道 |
[12:32] | – Because that’s my wife. – What? | -她是我老婆 -什么 |
[12:36] | You’re sloppy Joe? | 你就是邋遢乔吗 |
[12:40] | Open up, Victoria. I know you’re in there! | 开门 维多利亚 我知道你在家 |
[12:42] | Uh, just a minute. | 稍等 |
[12:43] | I’m loading the dishwasher. | 我在把碗筷放进洗碗机里 |
[12:44] | – That’s a thing, right? – Yeah. | -有这回事对吗 -是的 |
[12:46] | Why didn’t you tell me you were married? | 你为什么没告诉我你结婚了 |
[12:48] | I didn’t think I had to. | 我没觉得有说的必要 |
[12:49] | I’m your next door neighbor. | 我就住你隔壁 |
[12:51] | I’ve never done anything like this before. | 我以前从未做过这种事 |
[12:53] | Why did you come on to me so strong? | 你为什么要那么露骨地勾搭我 |
[12:55] | But I didn’t come on to you. | 但我没勾搭你啊 |
[12:56] | You said, “hello, ” and you asked me a question. | 你问我好 然后问我问题 |
[12:58] | Last time a woman did that, I married her. | 上次有女人这样做 结果我娶了她 |
[13:05] | Hi. Here’s another thing your dog ruined, | 你好 你的狗又毁了一样东西 |
[13:07] | my favorite crocs. | 我最爱的卡路驰鞋 |
[13:09] | Well, when you wear shoes that look like chew toys, | 你穿的鞋像狗用咀嚼玩具 |
[13:11] | what do you expect? | 你还指望怎样 |
[13:13] | Look, I’ll write you a check for $6. | 我给你写张6块钱的支票 |
[13:17] | Sally, honey, there you are. | 莎莉 亲爱的 你在这里啊 |
[13:18] | What do you want? | 你有什么事 |
[13:19] | I saw you talking to Victoria, | 我看到你在和维多利亚说话 |
[13:21] | and I thought, | 我想着 |
[13:21] | “hey, there’s only one woman I’m attracted to over there, | “那里只有一个女人能吸引我 |
[13:24] | and I need to have her now.” | 我现在就要拥有她” |
[13:26] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 |
[13:27] | But the kids are halfway through spongebob, | 但孩子们看《海绵宝宝》已经看了一半了 |
[13:28] | so we only have time for bottoms off. | 只够时间脱裤子 上衣保留 |
[13:30] | Ah, damn, you’re sexy. | 见鬼 你太性感了 |
[13:38] | So we all failed and George is worse. | 我们都失败了 乔治更郁闷了 |
[13:40] | Well, it’s hard to find a purpose. | 找人生目标太难了 |
[13:42] | I read somewhere that on people’s deathbeds, | 我曾经看过 人在临终之际 |
[13:44] | their biggest regret is never having | 最遗憾的就是 |
[13:46] | found their purpose in the world. | 从未找到人生在世的目标 |
[13:47] | Thanks, Melanie. | 多谢你了 梅兰妮 |
[13:49] | Now I’m picturing my deathbed. | 现在我能看到我临终场景了 |
[13:51] | And I’m lying there all alone | 我孤单地躺在那里 |
[13:52] | because I never found love again after Emmet. | 因为自艾米特之后 我再也没找到爱 |
[13:55] | Sure, the press is there, | 当然了 会有媒体环绕 |
[13:56] | but that’s cold comfort. | 但这种安慰根本没用 |
[14:00] | And now, with the years flying by so fast, | 现在时光飞逝 |
[14:02] | death is right around the corner. | 死神即将到来 |
[14:04] | And sure we can fake it with Botox, | 外表可以用肉毒杆菌掩饰 |
[14:05] | but our insides know. | 但我们内在的器官知道 |
[14:09] | I know my liver does. | 反正我的肝知道 |
[14:11] | I’m probably aging faster than any of you. | 我可能比你们都老得快 |
[14:14] | What if I end up in a home with Elka, | 如果我最终和爱尔卡在一家养老院怎么办 |
[14:16] | and we spend our final days | 我们最后的日子 |
[14:18] | blinking angrily at each other? | 就是愤怒地冲对方眨眼 |
[14:21] | Don’t worry. I already have “dnrj.” | 别担心 我已经有了DNRJ |
[14:25] | What’s a “dnrj”? | DNRJ是什么意思 |
[14:27] | “Do not room with Joy.” | “不和乔依同住一间房” |
[14:32] | Or maybe it’s, “Do not resuscitate Joy.” | 或者意思是 “不要对乔依实施心脏复苏术” |
[14:37] | Oh, now listen to us. | 听我们说的这些话 |
[14:38] | No wonder George is depressed. | 难怪乔治那么郁闷 |
[14:40] | What are we gonna say on the radio tomorrow? | 明天我们去电台要说些什么 |
[14:42] | Well, I’ve recently learned a little something | 我最近学到了一招 |
[14:45] | about saying the opposite of what you’re feeling. | 把感受反着说 |
[14:48] | – You’re an idiot. – Hey! | -你个白痴 -喂 |
[14:51] | I’m doing the opposite thing. | 我在说反话 |
[14:56] | Ladies, your dog George Clooney | 女士们 你们的狗乔治·克鲁尼 |
[14:58] | has been suffering from depression. | 一直被郁闷困扰着 |
[15:00] | One week later, ladies, how’s it going? | 女士们 已经一周了 进展如何 |
[15:02] | Fantastic. | 非常棒 |
[15:03] | I found a regular guy | 我认识了一个普通男人 |
[15:04] | who introduced me to the bowling cages. | 让我知道了保龄挥棒练习笼 |
[15:10] | And Elka and I are so close. | 爱尔卡和我好亲密 |
[15:12] | We’re finishing each other’s– | 我们会完成彼此的… |
[15:14] | meals. | 剩饭[接句子] |
[15:18] | Yes, meals. | 没错 剩饭 |
[15:20] | 白姨曾是这个 接句子真人游戏节目的常客 | |
[15:20] | You’ve never played match game, have you? | 你从没玩过”配对游戏”是吗 |
[15:24] | And I found my purpose, I really did. | 我找到了人生目标 真的 |
[15:26] | I know. | 我知道 |
[15:27] | George told me that he’s never been happier. | 乔治告诉我 它从未如此开心过 |
[15:30] | His words, not mine. | 它的原话 我没瞎掰 |
[15:34] | Oh, George told you all that, did he? | 乔治告诉你的是吗 |
[15:36] | He certainly did, bark for bark. | 当然 逐吠逐吠 |
[15:40] | No, he couldn’t have said that. | 不 它不可能说这些 |
[15:41] | Why not? | 为什么不可能 |
[15:42] | Because everything we said was a lie. | 因为我们说的全是谎话 |
[15:44] | He’s miserable. We’re miserable. | 它痛苦 我们痛苦 |
[15:47] | You’re a fraud. You can’t talk to animals. | 你是个骗子 你根本不懂和动物对话 |
[15:49] | Of course I can. | 我当然可以 |
[15:51] | Oh, yeah, I see what happened. | 我知道是怎么回事了 |
[15:53] | See, sometimes animals, | 有时候动物吧 |
[15:55] | in an attempt to protect their owners, | 为了保护它们的主人 |
[15:57] | will often spin the truth in a positive direction. | 经常会把真相转变成积极的方向 |
[16:01] | Yeah. | 没错 |
[16:04] | Also, the words for depressed and happy | 而且 在狗语里 郁闷和快乐两个词 |
[16:07] | are very similar in dog. | 太接近了 |
[16:12] | Oh, God, what the hell am I doing? | 老天 我这是在做什么啊 |
[16:15] | I am so tired of this. | 我已经厌倦这样了 |
[16:17] | So you can’t talk to animals. | 所以你根本不会和动物对话 |
[16:19] | Nobody can talk to animals. | 没人能和动物对话 |
[16:23] | This is so not what I wanted my life to be. | 我要的人生根本不是这样的 |
[16:26] | Well, what did you wanna be? | 你想要的是什么 |
[16:29] | I wanted to be a veterinarian. | 我想做兽医 |
[16:33] | But that school takes five years. | 但上学要五年 |
[16:35] | And by the time I graduate, I would be 45. | 我毕业时 已经45岁了 |
[16:39] | Oh, poor baby. | 可怜的小屁孩 |
[16:43] | Well, in five years, you’re gonna be 45 no matter what you do. | 无论你做什么 五年后你都会变成45岁 |
[16:47] | So wouldn’t you rather be 45 and a vet? | 既然如此 你不希望45岁时是兽医吗 |
[16:49] | I never thought of it like that. | 我从未这样想过 |
[16:52] | That’s really good advice. | 这个建议真不错 |
[16:55] | I’m gonna do it. | 我要这样做 |
[16:58] | Uh, we have a call. | 有电话打进来 |
[16:59] | No, I am out of here, Milo. | 不 我走了 米洛 |
[17:01] | Actually, it’s for Melanie. | 是找梅兰妮的 |
[17:03] | For me? Oh, okay. | 找我吗 好的 |
[17:07] | Hi, this is Melanie. | 你好 我是梅兰妮 |
[17:09] | First of all, Melanie, | 首先 梅兰妮 |
[17:10] | I thought the advice you gave Dr. Deb was really good. | 我觉得你给德布医生的建议非常好 |
[17:13] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
[17:15] | How can I help you? | 我能怎么帮你 |
[17:16] | My husband Derrick came home last night | 我老公德里克那晚回家 |
[17:18] | with flowers and a bottle of wine for no reason. | 无缘无故送我花 还带着红酒 |
[17:22] | I guess that means he’s having an affair, right? | 我想这意味着他有外遇了 对吗 |
[17:25] | Or maybe he’s just trying to tell you | 或许他只想用那瓶玛歌庄园酒 |
[17:28] | he appreciates you with that chateau margaux. | 来向你表达他对你的感谢 |
[17:31] | I’m guessing. | 我猜的 |
[17:33] | You know what? Why don’t you just cut the guy some slack? | 知道吗 你不如放他一马 |
[17:36] | And if you have to criticize him, | 如果你一定要批评他 |
[17:37] | do it after sex. | 就在做爱后 |
[17:39] | That way, he associates criticism with pleasure. | 这样的话 他就会把批评与欢愉联系起来 |
[17:44] | Thank you, Melanie. I’ll try that. | 谢谢你 梅兰妮 我会试试 |
[17:47] | Okay, you’ve got three more callers. | 好吧 又有三个人打进来 |
[17:49] | But we gotta go to a commercial break. | 不过得先播广告 |
[17:50] | There’s copy there, right on the desk. | 桌子有稿子 |
[17:52] | – What? – Right on the desk, | -什么 -就在桌子上 |
[17:53] | – right there. – Oh, okay, okay. | -就在那里 -好的 |
[17:56] | This portion of… | 本节目… |
[17:58] | Well, whatever is going on here | 不知道这节目到底是什么 |
[18:00] | is sponsored by Olay regenerist micro-sculpting cream. | 由玉兰油新生塑颜金纯面霜赞助播出 |
[18:05] | Ooh, “visible wrinkle results start day one.” | 哎呀 使用第一天可见除皱效果 |
[18:08] | Hey, this stuff sounds really good. | 这东西听起来真不错啊 |
[18:10] | That’s my last freebie. | 这是我最后的赠品 |
[18:17] | Oh, my God, you guys. | 我的天 姐妹们 |
[18:18] | I was just talking to the G.M., | 我刚跟GM谈过了 |
[18:20] | which means general manager, | 就是总经理 |
[18:21] | and he’s gonna give me my own slot, | 他会给我属于我的档期 |
[18:22] | which means my own show. | 就是我自己的节目 |
[18:24] | So all I need now is a board op, which– | 现在我只需要一个监制 |
[18:27] | yeah, I don’t know what that means. | 我不知道这是什么意思 |
[18:29] | Uh, that means me. | 就是说我 |
[18:31] | So I have one. | 我有一个了 |
[18:32] | Now it’s only on a trial basis, | 现在只是试播 |
[18:34] | but I am officially in the radio business. | 但我正式进入电台界了 |
[18:36] | Oh, Melanie, that is fabulous. | 梅兰妮 太棒了 |
[18:39] | Whoa. Hey, buddy. | 嘿 小家伙 |
[18:42] | Oh, come on. You were supposed to stay in the booth. | 走吧 你应该待在里面 |
[18:45] | Yes, you were. | 是的 |
[18:46] | Oh, look at George Clooney. | 瞧我们家乔治·克鲁尼 |
[18:47] | Okay. | 去吧 |
[18:50] | He’s so happy. | 它好开心 |
[18:52] | Maybe he wasn’t depressed. | 也许它不是郁闷 |
[18:53] | Maybe he just needed a friend. | 它只是需要朋友 |
[18:55] | – Wow, they sure seem to like each other. – Yeah. | -它们似乎挺喜欢对方的 -是啊 |
[18:57] | You know, I’d be happy | 其实 我很乐意 |
[18:58] | to bring him over for a playdate sometime. | 偶尔带它过去和乔治玩 |
[19:00] | Wow, what a nice guy. | 真是个好人 |
[19:02] | Yeah. Nice, regular guy? | 是的 普通的好男人吗 |
[19:06] | Kinda like I tried to tell you last week, | 就像我上周想告诉你的 |
[19:07] | when I said maybe you should | 我当时说你应该 |
[19:08] | date nice, regular guys. | 跟普通的好男人约会 |
[19:10] | Oh, I missed that. | 我当时没懂 |
[19:13] | But yes, I would love to go out with you– | 是的 我很乐意和你约会 |
[19:16] | uh, I wanna say, Frodo? | 你的名字是弗雷多吗 |
[19:20] | – Milo. – Milo. | -是米洛 -米洛 |
[19:23] | Hey, if we didn’t depress George, | 话说 如果我们没让乔治郁闷 |
[19:24] | we didn’t do anything wrong. | 那我们就没做错什么 |
[19:26] | We can go back to the way things were. | 我们可以回归以前的状态了 |
[19:28] | Come on, I’ll buy you a cup of coffee, | 走吧 我请你喝咖啡 |
[19:29] | you old biddy. | 你个啰嗦老太 |
[19:30] | Coffee with a tart. Sounds good to me. | 咖啡加馅饼[荡妇] 听起来不错 |