时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:02] | ******* | 我们为什么打架? |
[00:04] | **thing deep within each of us,that compels us to settle disagreements with our fists? | 我们内心深处有股怎样的力量 迫使我们用拳头摆平异见? |
[00:09] | Whatever it is,it’s there right from the beginning. | 不管它是何物 总伴随拳架始终 |
[00:12] | Okay,okay,okay. Stop fighting! | 够了 够了 够了 别打了! |
[00:14] | Why? | 为什么? |
[00:15] | Because it’s stupid and juvenile. | 因为打架很很蠢很天真 |
[00:17] | We’re six. We are stid and juvenile. | 我们才六岁 我们就是很蠢很天真的 |
[00:23] | Okay,okay! | 别打了 别打了! |
[00:24] | Kids,I’ve only been in one fight in my life. | 孩子们 我这辈子只打过一回架 |
[00:26] | And this is the story of how it happened. | 这个故事讲的就是打架缘由 |
[00:28] | Now,as you know,I recently had been left at the altar. | 你们知道 额最近在婚礼上被人甩了 |
[00:31] | And the worst thing about getting left at the altar? | 在婚礼上被人甩了最可悲的是什么? |
[00:33] | I mean,aside from actually getting left at the altar,was what came next. | 除了在婚礼上被人甩了这事以外 还有其他的更悲的事 |
[00:37] | A steady unrelenting unbearable stream of pity. | 就是那一股滔滔不绝的无休无止的 令人无法忍受的同情洪流 |
[00:41] | Vodka cranberry. Gin and tonic. | 伏特加红加伦 汤利水 |
[00:45] | Scotch and soda. | 威士忌和苏打水 |
[00:49] | Um,thank you. | 多谢 |
[00:53] | Could I see a menu? | 我可以点菜了吗? |
[00:55] | Ted,Im going to go get you a menu… | Ted 我这就去给你拿一份菜单… |
[00:59] | but I promise you I will come back. | 而且我保证我一定会回来的 |
[01:05] | Okay,we have to start going someplace else. | 好了 我们要换个地方吃饭了 |
[01:08] | At this bar,I’m always going to be the guy who got left at the altar. | 在这个酒吧 我总是被看做 一个在婚礼上被甩了的可怜虫 |
[01:11] | That sucks! | 太讨厌了! |
[01:13] | Good times. | 美好的时光啊 |
[01:15] | – We lost Barney. – What do you mean? | – 我们就当 Barney不存在好了 – 你什么意思? |
[01:16] | There’s a girl over there in a tight red sweater. | 那边有个穿着紧身红毛衣的妞儿 |
[01:19] | So he’s not listening to a word anyone’s saying. | 他听不下我们说的任何一个字的 |
[01:21] | Right,Barney? | 对吧 Barney? |
[01:22] | Give me a break! | 别理我! |
[01:24] | See,he figured out a while back he could fake an entire conversation | 瞧 等他回过神来 就能编出一长串的鬼话 |
[01:26] | just by saying titles of black sitcoms from the 70’s and 80’s. | 只需说说七八十年代 那些讽刺喜剧的片名就行了 |
[01:30] | What’s happening? | 怎么了? |
[01:31] | Hey,Barney,want to go upstairs and do stuff to me that I won’t even let Marshall do? | 嘿 Barney 想到楼上对我做些 我都甚至不会让Marshall做的事吗? |
[01:37] | different strokes. | 我俩不是一水准的 |
[01:41] | What the hell is this? | 这到底怎么回事 ? |
[01:42] | I’ve told you kids about Doug,right? | 孩子们 我跟你们提过Doug的 对吧? |
[01:44] | I haven’t? Oh,well… | 没有嘛? 哦 那好吧… |
[01:46] | Doug Martin was a bartender at MacLaren’s. | Doug Martin是MacLaren’s酒吧的酒保 |
[01:49] | He was always kind of around. | 他总是会在人周围晃悠 |
[01:50] | – Have… you met Ted? – What? No,no,no. | – 你… 有没有见过Ted? – 什么? 别 别 别 |
[01:52] | We’re not playing “Have you met Ted?” | 我们今天不用这招 |
[01:54] | Am I dead? Am I dead? | 我死了没? 我死了没? |
[01:57] | Tonight… I pick up a lesbian. | 今晚 … 我要钓一个拉拉 |
[02:00] | Anyway,three things you need to know about Doug. | 你们必须知道关于Doug的三件事 |
[02:03] | The first thing is that Doug had a bi … | 第一件是Doug有点暴力倾向… |
[02:06] | just crumbled,so he’s on the ground,right? | 脑袋破了 他倒在地上 知道吧? |
[02:08] | And we’re just kicking him! He’s making that face,all shaking. | 我们死命踢他! 他的整张脸啊 都在抽搐 |
[02:12] | So,anyway,what we did was we left him there. | 然后 我们最后做的 就是把他扔在那里 |
[02:16] | Top you off? | 给你满上? |
[02:18] | The second thing is that he was weird about his hair. | 第二件就是他对自己的发型神经过敏 |
[02:22] | – What? – What? | – 怎么? – 怎么? |
[02:24] | Are you looking at my hair? | 你盯着我的发型看吗? |
[02:26] | Uh,no,sir. I-I was not. | 没有 老兄 我没有 |
[02:29] | It’s a toupee. | 假发又怎么了 |
[02:32] | Is that funny? You want to laugh it up? Is it funny,guy? Is it? | 好玩嘛? 你们想取笑一番吧 伙计们? 对吧? |
[02:35] | I’ll tell you what,why don’t you,why don’t you grab it? | 我想说 你干嘛不来抓一把? |
[02:37] | – Excuse me? – Go ahead,grab it. | – 什么? – 来吧 来抓一把 |
[02:38] | Grab it right off my head. Go ahead. | 把它从我头上抓下来 来吧 |
[02:41] | Huh,you don’t want to grab it? | 你不想抓吗? |
[02:42] | Come on. Come on,go ahead and grab it,huh? | 来吧 来吧 来抓一把? |
[02:45] | Want to grab it off my head? | 想把它从我头上抓下吗? |
[02:46] | Grab my toupee right off my head. | 把我的假发从头上抓下吧 |
[02:53] | I like you guys! | 我喜欢你们! |
[02:56] | But the third thing is that he was very loyal to his regulars. | 第三件就是他对常客非常忠心 |
[02:59] | There they are! | 你们来啦! |
[03:00] | – Hey,you guys want your booth? – Oh,no. | – 嘿 你们想要做平常的那桌吗? – 哦 不必了 |
[03:02] | – We’re fine over here. – Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. | – 我们坐这儿挺好的 – 真的? 真的? 好吧 |
[03:04] | Maybe a little too loyal. | 可能忠心的过头了 |
[03:05] | Oh,no,it’s fine,it’s fine. | 哦 不必了 这样挺好的 |
[03:07] | Okay,you two lovebirds! | 好了 你们老两口! |
[03:08] | Les take this somewhere else– booth’s reserved. | 去别处慢用吧– 此桌已被预定了 |
[03:11] | Let’s go! Now! Come on! | 走吧! 马上! 快点! |
[03:13] | Let’s see some htle,Father. Up you get. | 动作快点 神父 快走吧 |
[03:15] | Okay,guys,here we are! | 好了 伙计们 搞掂了! |
[03:18] | So,that’s Doug. | 这就是Doug其人 |
[03:19] | What the hell is this? | 这TM怎么回事? |
[03:20] | Oh,um,well,some guys are sitting in our booth. | 哦 有人坐着我们的桌子呢 |
[03:22] | But you know what? This is fine. | 但你瞧 没事的 |
[03:28] | Let’s go,I’ll take care of it. | 行了 我来搞掂它 |
[03:30] | Oh,boy,there he goes. | 哦 天啊 他过去了 |
[03:39] | Ladies,if you’ll please adjourn to your usual booth. | 女士们 敬请回到你们老位子去 |
[03:42] | Gentlemen,I will require your assistance outside. | 先生们 我需要你们到外边给我帮个手 |
[03:44] | Our assistance with what? | 帮个手干嘛啊? |
[03:45] | We’re going to go out in the alley and fight those guys. | 我们要出到走廊去 和那群家伙干上一架 |
[03:48] | What’s happening now? | 现在是怎么回事? |
[04:02] | How I Met Your Mother Season04 Episode10 | |
[04:04] | I’m sorry,did you just say we were gonna… | 抱歉 你刚才说我们要… |
[04:05] | Look,those guys are being inconsiderate,okay? | 瞧 那些家伙目中无人 对吧? |
[04:09] | So we’re going to go outside and cave in their skulls,okay? | 所以我们要出去 打得他们满地找牙 好吧? |
[04:12] | This will be fun! | 真会很爽的! |
[04:16] | He wants us to fight? | 他要我们去打架? |
[04:17] | Like,with our hands and stuff? | 赤手空拳的? |
[04:20] | And feet maybe? I don’t know what the rules are. | 脚也许也用上吧? 我还真不知道其中规则 |
[04:23] | Wow,a fight. Should we go out there? | 哇 打架耶 我们要出去吗? |
[04:26] | Come on,Ted. There’s only three this you’ll ever see me fight: | 得了吧 Ted 要想看我打架只有这三种情况: |
[04:29] | the stubborn clasp of a bra,Sexual harassment charges– nine for nine– | 难缠的胸罩扣子 指控我性骚扰–没一次告成功的 |
[04:35] | And the urge to vomit when I see someone wearing brown shoes with a black suit. | 还有当我看到有人穿着黑色西服 搭配棕色皮鞋让我作呕时 |
[04:42] | Marshall? Marshall? | |
[04:42] | Dude,fighting is for losers. We’re civilized guys. | 伙计 打架是丧家犬的事 我们是文明人 |
[04:45] | Civilized guys don’t fight. | 文明人是不打架的 |
[04:47] | Unless it’s with lightsabers. But that’s like three to five years away,so… | 除非武器是绝地武士的激光剑 但这至少也是三五年以后的事了 所以… |
[04:50] | Well,that’s not true. | 嗯 那可不见得 |
[04:52] | Robin,I’m on the forums every day. | Robin 我天天逛论坛的 |
[04:54] | Three to five Thanksgivings from now,I’m going to be carving e turkey with Old Green. | 至少要再过3-5个感恩节 我才能拿着绿色激光剑切割火鸡 |
[04:59] | No,I’m saying there are plenty of legitimate reasons to get in a fight– | 不是的 我说的是打架有很多正当理由– |
[05:02] | it might not be pretty,but in certain situations,you gotta do what you gotta do. | 可能不是很多 但是特殊情况 你只能这么办了 |
[05:07] | Right,I forgot. She thinks fighting’s sexy. | 好吧 我差点忘了 她觉得打架很性感 |
[05:10] | No,I do not! A lot… | 不 我才没有! 是非常性感… |
[05:13] | Look,I come from a culture of hockey players. | 瞧 我受曲棍球队员精神影响很深 |
[05:15] | If a guy can throw down,it’s somewhat way hot. | 如果有人把对方撂倒 这还真蛮性感的 |
[05:20] | And scars,hello! | 还有伤疤 天啊! |
[05:22] | If a guy’s got a scar,he’s got a Robin. | 身上如有疤 Robin心随他 |
[05:24] | And if he’s missing teeth? I’m missing my pants. | 嘴里缺颗牙 我裤子都脱下 |
[05:29] | I’m missing my wisdom teeth. | 我拔了几颗智齿的 |
[05:31] | Outpatient procedure. | 一般的门诊手术 |
[05:33] | Local anesthesia. Whatever. It ain’t a thing. | 局部麻醉 管他呢 不值一提 |
[05:38] | Look,maybe we should go out there. | 瞧 也许我们真该出去 |
[05:40] | I can’t believe we’re even having this discussion. | 真难以置信我们还讨论这种话题 |
[05:43] | Ted,you’re 30; you’re too old to act like this. | Ted 你都30岁了 要打架你忒老了点 |
[05:46] | I was 30 and in those 30 years I’d been punched once. | 我30岁了 在这30年里我被揍过一回 |
[05:50] | There’s a very simple explana… | 我简单解释一下… |
[05:53] | There was that thing at camp. | 还有夏令营那一次 |
[05:54] | Today,we’re going to braid friendship bracelets. | 今天 我们来编织友谊手镯 |
[05:58] | In college,I studied some Kung Fu. | 大学时 我学了点功夫 |
[06:07] | And well,there was some other stuff. | 还有一些其他玩意 |
[06:13] | The thing with the goat wasn’t for another few months. | 关于这只羊的事 过了几个月就解决了 |
[06:15] | The point is,I had never been in a fight. | 问题是 我从没打过架 |
[06:17] | – I’m going out there. – No! | – 我要出去 – 不! |
[06:19] | Dude,listen to me,please,trust me,I’ve been in plenty of fights. | 伙计 请听我讲 相信我 我打架无数 |
[06:22] | It’s really nothing to be proud of. | 这没什么值得骄傲的 |
[06:25] | Who did you get in a fight with? | 你和谁打架? |
[06:27] | My brothers. | 我亲兄弟 |
[06:30] | Yes,I’m sure that was quite a rumble in the Eriksen rumpus room. | 没错 我敢肯定Eriksen那混乱的房间里 可展开过一场混战啊 |
[06:35] | I love brotherly horseplay! | 我爱兄弟胡闹! |
[06:36] | Here comes the tickle monster! | 挠痒怪物来啦! |
[06:38] | Noogie patrol! | 揉死你! |
[06:41] | Wait,wait,wait! Timesies! Timesies! | 慢着 慢着 慢着! 暂停! 暂停! |
[06:44] | Cocoa break. | 热可可时间到了 |
[06:49] | Oh,cocoa break. | 哦 热可可时间 |
[06:52] | Okay,it’s clobbering time. | 好吧 打架时间到了 |
[06:54] | Ted,don’t do this; you’re a nice guy. | Ted 别这样 你是个好人 |
[06:57] | That’s your best quality. | 这是你最好的品德 |
[06:59] | Is it? | 真的吗? |
[07:00] | ‘Cause I seem to remember this nice guy getting dumped by his fianc\e for a Tae Kwon Do instructor. | 因为我看到这个老好人被未婚妻甩了 投奔到跆拳道教练那儿去了 |
[07:04] | Look,this may sound crazy,but I think I need to do this. | 瞧 这很疯狂 但我想我必须这么做 |
[07:07] | I-I think this is an experience I need to have. | 我…我想我需要有这样的经历 |
[07:11] | I’m going. | 吾往矣 |
[07:16] | Me,too! | 我也去! |
[07:19] | Guys… | 伙计们… |
[07:21] | take a good look at this face,because the next time you see it, | 好好看看这张脸 因为下次你们再看到它时 |
[07:24] | it will be disfigured in the hottest possible way. | 它已经被毁成最性感的样子了 |
[07:28] | Because that’s who I am– I’m a man. | 因为我就是这样的– 我是一个男子汉 |
[07:31] | I like to fight and mix it up and get all dirty. | 我喜欢打架 摆平对方 清理一切 |
[07:35] | Can you find a wood hanger for this? | 你能帮我找个木钩挂起来吗? |
[07:42] | Whoa,what happened here? | 哇 怎么回事? |
[07:43] | I know,right? | 我就知道 对吧? |
[07:45] | Who’s not looking at my toupee now,huh? | 现在谁还敢不看我的假发 哈? |
[07:47] | – Look what we did to these guys! – We? | – 瞧瞧咱们给他们好看! – 咱们? |
[07:49] | Yeah,”we.” Come on,man,we’re a good team. | 没错 “咱们” 来吧 伙计 我们合作得不错 |
[07:52] | Nice work boys! We did it! | 干得好 小子! 我们赢了! |
[07:54] | No,no,no,you did it. We didn’t do anything. | 不 不 不 是你干的 我们啥也没做 |
[07:57] | Okay,yeah,yeah,sure,I just beat up three guys by myself. | 好吧 没错 当然了 我一个人把他们三打趴了 |
[08:02] | You guys. That’s good. | 伙计们 太棒了 |
[08:03] | You and you– free drinks for life. | 你 还有你–终身免费喝酒 |
[08:12] | He thinks we were in this fight with him. | 他认为我们帮他打架了 |
[08:14] | We were in this fight with him. | 我们确实帮他打架了 |
[08:17] | And now we are going to go in there and tell everyone the legendary tale of how we beat up some guys. | 现在 我们回到屋里 告诉大家 我们把这些家伙撂倒的传奇过程 |
[08:22] | And everyone is going to think it’s great and everyone is going to sleep with me again. | 大家都会觉得这真太帅了 排着队来和我上床 |
[08:26] | Dude,come on,no one is gonna believe we were in a fight– look at us. | 伙计 得了 没人会相信我们打架了的 –瞧瞧我们身上 |
[08:29] | Oh,that’s a good… | 哦 打得好… |
[08:32] | What are you doing? | 你干嘛啊? |
[08:33] | What I should’ve done a long time ago. | 干我早该干的事 |
[08:34] | – What? – I don’t know,I just hit myself in the eye! | – 什么? – 我也不知道 我刚打了自己的眼睛! |
[08:37] | I don’t even know what I’m saying– | 我甚至都不知自己在说什么了 |
[08:40] | I throw an awesome right hook,by the way. | 我使出了完美的右勾拳 顺带一提 |
[08:43] | – Okay,are you ready? – To go back in? | – 好了 你准备好了没? – 回屋去吗? |
[08:45] | No,for this. | 不 接我一拳 |
[08:48] | God! You just punched me in the nose! | 天啊! 你刚打了我的鼻子! |
[08:50] | Are you crying? | 你哭啦? |
[08:51] | Yes,I’m crying! | 没错 我哭了! |
[08:52] | You just punched me in the nose! | 你刚打了我的鼻子! |
[08:55] | Oh,that’s going to swell up real good. | 哦 这肿的形状真可爱 |
[08:56] | You’re going to look like Owen Wilson. | 你看着像Owen Wilson (大鼻子演员) |
[08:57] | Okay,let’s get back in there. | 好了 咱回屋里去吧 |
[08:58] | Okay,but just,let’s just play this down,okay? | 好的 但是低调一点 好吧? |
[09:01] | I don’t want this to turn into a big thing. | 我不想搞得轰轰烈烈的 |
[09:05] | and takes his shoe off! Hits him in the mouth… Hey,there they are! | 然后把鞋子脱了! 打他的嘴… 嘿 他们回来了! |
[09:09] | The guys that got my back! | 帮了我一把的战友! |
[09:24] | You two got in a fight. Really? | 你俩打架啦 真的? |
[09:27] | Uh,no,Barney punched me and himself in the face to make it look like we got in a fight. | 没有 Barney给我和他自己各一拳 看着像是我们打架了 |
[09:30] | Come on,Marshall! | 够了 Marshall! |
[09:33] | Wow,look at your eye. | 哇 瞧瞧你的眼睛 |
[09:36] | You look like a badass. | 你看起来像个坏家伙 |
[09:38] | I’m surprised to see you had it in me. | 我真惊讶从我心底看到了坏坏你 |
[09:40] | You. Had it in you. | 呃…是从你心底 看到了你自己 |
[09:43] | Do you… want to touch it? | 你…想摸摸吗? |
[09:51] | Oh,my God,it’s warm! | 哦 天啊 还是暖的! |
[09:55] | Victory drinks! | 庆功之酒! |
[09:57] | Free! Free! Free! Free! | 免费!免费!免费!免费! |
[10:01] | 7.50 | 盛惠7.5美元 |
[10:03] | Why do I have to pay? | 为啥我要给钱? |
[10:05] | ‘Cause you don’t got my back. These guys got my back. | 因为你没有陪我打架 他们可是跟我并肩作战的 |
[10:08] | You know what,Doug? I will gladly pay. And you know why? | 好吧 Doug 我给得心甘情愿 知道为啥不? |
[10:11] | Because that’s what grownups do. | 因为这才是成年人做的事 |
[10:12] | They pay for their drinks,and they don’t get into fights. | 喝酒给钱 而且不打架 |
[10:15] | You know what I was doing,while you guys were out there being immature? | 当你们在外面打架的时候 知道我在干嘛吗? |
[10:17] | – I’ll tell you what I was doing. – Your nails? | – 让我告诉你们吧 – 修指甲? |
[10:21] | No.I was doing– | 不是 我在– |
[10:22] | The relationship quiz in this month’s Cosmo? | 做Cosmo杂志上的情感测试? |
[10:25] | No.I was doing– | 当然不是 我在– |
[10:26] | Your best not to cry when Big came back for Carrie at the end of the Sex and the City movie? | 看欲望都市看到 Big重回Carrie身边时强忍住不哭? |
[10:30] | – No. – Spoilers much? | – 不是 – 别那么损好不好? |
[10:32] | No. I’ll tell you what I was doing– | 才不是呢 让我告诉你们吧 我在– |
[10:34] | The captain of the football team because he gave you his promise ring | 穿着露背晚装在返校节上 美美的向橄榄球队长献身 |
[10:36] | and you look so pretty in your open back Homecoming dress? | 因为他拿着戒指跟你求婚? |
[10:42] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
[10:45] | I hate those guys! | 那些家伙太讨厌了! |
[10:47] | Acting like they’re the manliest guys in the universe, | 装作好像宇宙间 最有男子气概的人那样 |
[10:49] | like they’re Crocodile Dundee and David Hasselhoff. | 装什么鳄鱼邓迪 海岸救护队的David Hasselhoff |
[10:52] | Those are the manliest guys in the universe? | 他们很有男子气概吗? |
[10:55] | I don’t understand why they’re getting all this attention. | 真的不知道他们怎么会这么受欢迎? |
[10:57] | I mean,I’m the real hero here. | 我是说 我才是真英雄呢 |
[10:59] | Mm,yeah,you are. | 没错 你真是个英雄 |
[11:00] | I’m serious,woman. Put it back in your pants. | 我是说真的 婆娘 把腿挪开 |
[11:04] | Marshall,you’re the man every boy should grow up to become and every girl should marry. | Marshall 你才是男孩子的学习榜样 女孩子的梦中情人 |
[11:11] | You know what? | 你知道吗? |
[11:13] | I have two kids in my class who won’t stop fighting. | 我班里有两个整天打架的孩子 |
[11:15] | If you come to school tomorrow and tell them your story of choosing the path of nonviolence, | 如果你明天能来我们班 跟他们讲一下今晚你反对暴力的故事 |
[11:20] | it might really set them strait. | 或许会让他们醒悟过来 |
[11:22] | And save me having to get up early to make a lesson plan. | 我还不用早起备课了呢 |
[11:26] | All right. Okay. I’ll set them straight. | 好吧 就这么定了 我要让他们醒悟 |
[11:30] | – You’re a wuss. – What? No! | – 你真是个软脚虾 – 啥?才不呢! |
[11:34] | Mahatma Panda and Martin Luther Koala are telling you kids this story to illustrate– | 熊猫Mahatma 跟考拉Martin Luther的故事告诉你们– |
[11:38] | To illustrate that you’re a wuss? | 告诉我们说你是个软脚虾? |
[11:41] | Why didn’t you just fight those guys? | 你怎么不直接揍翻那些家伙呢? |
[11:43] | Were you scared? | 你害怕了吗? |
[11:45] | What? Pssht! No! I wasn’t scared! | 啥玩意儿? 没可能 我才不会害怕呢! |
[11:49] | I’ve been in plenty of fights,okay? | 我可是个打架王 知道不? |
[11:51] | You’re huge! | 你身型很巨大啊 |
[11:52] | You must weigh like a thousand pounds. | 肯定有一千磅重吧 |
[11:56] | Okay,first of all,I’m wearing a baggy sweater,and it has horizontal stripes. | 第一 我今天穿的衣服比较肥大 还是横纹的 |
[12:03] | And I also– and I had a salty lunch… | 我还–我今天的午饭吃得比较咸 |
[12:05] | And so I’m retain– You know what? Shut up! | 而且我还没– 算了 闭嘴! |
[12:07] | Wuss! | 软脚虾! |
[12:15] | Wow,so,you just beat those guys up? | 你们就这么揍了他们? |
[12:19] | Just? | 就这么? |
[12:21] | Oh,Amanda,were it so simple. | Amanda 可没这么简单的 |
[12:24] | You see,hand to hand combat is about so much more than | 知道吗 徒手格斗不单单是 |
[12:27] | just administering brute force on your opponent,right B? | 把拳头狠狠地 挥到你对手脸上就行的了 是不? B |
[12:30] | You know it! | 可不是 |
[12:31] | It’s a science. | 这可是一种拳术 |
[12:34] | The sweet science,as it were. | 考究的艺术哦 |
[12:36] | Wait,I’m confused,what did those guys do to deserve it? | 等等 我想问一下 那些家伙干了什么? |
[12:39] | – Well,this may sound petty,but they sat in ourooth. – They sat in our booth. | – 都是些小事情 他们坐了我们的专座 – 他们坐了我们的专座 |
[12:45] | – And nobody… – Nobody. | – 没人可以… – 没有任何人 |
[12:47] | sits in our booth. | 可以坐我们的专座 |
[12:53] | Are you going to beat those guys up? | 你们要揍翻他们吗? |
[12:59] | yes,we are going to beat those guys up. Ted,come on. | 当然 揍翻那些家伙 Ted 上 |
[13:06] | You two. Our booth. Get out. Now! | 你们两个 这是我们的专座 滚 立刻滚! |
[13:10] | What are you doing? | 你在干嘛? |
[13:11] | Relax,we got Doug. Big Doug’s got our backs. | 放宽心吧 有Doug在 他会帮我们撑场的 |
[13:13] | Yeah,Doug’s not here tonight. | 想得美 今晚Doug不在 |
[13:15] | Can I get you guys anything? Drinks? Cash? | 有什么可以效劳的吗? 要喝的? 要钱? |
[13:17] | Those two girls over there? | 还是那边俩女孩? |
[13:19] | Are you Ted Mosby? | 你就是Ted Mosby? |
[13:21] | Um,uh,yeah,I am. | 没错 我就是 |
[13:23] | And you’re Barney Stinson? | 而你就是Barney Stinson? |
[13:25] | They’ve heard of us. | 他们听过我们的威名 |
[13:26] | It’s cool,guys. | 没事儿 伙计 |
[13:28] | We’ll,uh,let you leave with your asses unkicked. | 呃… 乖乖滚出去 我们不会为难你们的 |
[13:31] | This time. | 下不为例了! |
[13:33] | A’ight? | 知道不? |
[13:35] | What’s,uh,what’s this? | 这–这是啥? |
[13:37] | – You’ve been served. – You’re being sued for assault. | – 你们有的受了 – 告你们伤人 |
[13:41] | Enjoy your booth. | 好好享受你们的专座吧 |
[13:48] | That was close. | 九死一生啊 |
[13:54] | Assault! They’re suing us for assault! | 伤人! 他们要告我们伤人! |
[13:57] | Okay,well,what’s the penalty for assault? | 伤人罚什么的? |
[13:59] | What,do I have to pay a fine? | 怎么了 要罚款吗? |
[14:01] | Pick up trash on the highway? | 还是罚在高速公路捡垃圾? |
[14:02] | ‘Cause I’ve done that before,know what I me? | 我以前高速公路上可捡过不少好东西呢 知道什么意思吧? |
[14:05] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
[14:06] | Actually,he did know that the worst we were looking at was a small civil settlement, | 实际上 他知道这事最多是个民事纠纷 |
[14:10] | and probably no criminal charges. | 没什么可能构成刑事罪 |
[14:12] | But he was really pissed at us. | 可他对我们真的很生气 |
[14:13] | I mean,you guys could be looking at some serious prison time. | 我是说 你们很可能 要在监狱度过一段时间了 |
[14:17] | – Prison? – I can’t go to prison! | – 监狱? – 我不想去监狱! |
[14:19] | I mean,I could get a lot of reading done,finally write some short stories. | 我还有那么多书要读呢 我没准还能写点短篇小说呢 |
[14:23] | Work out all the time. | 要不就健身也行 |
[14:25] | Seriously,if I don’t come out there completely ripped– | 说真的 如果我还能活着从里面出来的话 |
[14:27] | Ted,we can’t go to prison! | Ted 我们不能进监狱! |
[14:30] | People get shivved in the joint! | 不死也要掉层皮的! |
[14:33] | Plus the meals are really starchy. | 而且那里的伙食很烂 |
[14:35] | Well,you guys should have thought of that before you bt up those guys. | 你们跟人打架时应该好好想想后果 |
[14:41] | What if we didn’t? | 如果我们没有呢? |
[14:43] | – Didn’t what,Ted? – Didn’t beat up those guys. | – 没有什么? Ted – 没有打他们 |
[14:45] | What if Doug beat up tho guys all by himself and we didn’t do anything? | 如果是Doug一个人揍翻那些家伙的 我们完全没动过手呢? |
[14:47] | I knew it! | 我就知道! |
[14:49] | I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! | 我就知道! 我就知道! 我就知道! |
[14:51] | You guys didn’t throw a single punch. | 你们俩一拳都没出过 |
[14:53] | Well,I hit Ted and myself,so… | 事实上 我给了Ted跟我自己一拳 所以… |
[14:56] | Well,who’s the wuss now? | 看看现在谁才是软脚虾? |
[14:58] | Answer: You guys. | 答案是:你们俩 |
[15:00] | Look,can you just help us get out of this? | 听着 你就不可以先帮帮我们吗? |
[15:02] | You know the old expression: | 有句老话说得好: |
[15:03] | If you’re not prepared to do the time don’t pretend to do the crime | 没有金刚钻 别揽瓷器活儿 |
[15:06] | and laugh and get free drinks and not stand up for your friend who, | 你们还要又唱又笑喝着免费啤酒 还阴阳怪气的嘲笑 |
[15:10] | incidentally,has been in plenty of fights with his brothers. | 你们事实上以前整天跟他兄弟练手的朋友 |
[15:16] | Look,you’ve got to help us out,Marshall. | 听着 你可要帮帮我们 Marshall |
[15:18] | We’re the Three Musketeers! | 我们可是三剑客啊! |
[15:21] | If I give up Ted,how much time am I looking at? | 如果我出卖Ted的话 我要坐多久? |
[15:24] | Hey,guys! | 嘿 伙计们! |
[15:27] | Barney,I’ve been looking for you. | Barney 我正找你呢 |
[15:31] | I got,uh,tickets to this hockey game tonight. It’s stupid. | 我有 呃–今晚的曲棍球赛的票 我有点傻哈 |
[15:35] | You want to go? | 有兴趣吗? |
[15:36] | It might go kind of late,so,maybe,after the game we can grab a drink. | 估计会挺晚的 所以… 看完比赛后我们可以去喝点东西 |
[15:39] | Oh,hey,Robin,get this. You know that fight? | 嘿 Robin 听着 记得那场打斗不? |
[15:43] | These guys faked the whole thing. | 他们骗人的 |
[15:51] | Oh,I forgot! Tonight is no good. | 我忘了! 今晚不方便啊 |
[15:55] | I uh,I can’t go to that hockey game tonight,I got that,uh… | 我–我今晚去不了曲棍球赛了 我要 呃… |
[16:00] | That,uh… | 我要 呃… |
[16:03] | that,uh… | 我要 呃… |
[16:06] | That,uh… | 我要 呃… |
[16:10] | That,uh… That,uh… | 我要 呃… 我要 呃… |
[16:18] | Good news– I talked to the guys. | 好消息–我跟那些家伙谈好了 |
[16:20] | What guys? | 什么人? |
[16:21] | The guys you didn’t beat up. | 没有被你们揍翻的家伙 |
[16:22] | They agreed to drop the lawsuit. Boom! Lawyered. | 他们决定撤诉了 砰! 律师的威力 |
[16:26] | What? They agreed to drop it? | 啥? 他们同意撤诉了? |
[16:27] | Yeah,I just explained that you two are wusses. | 没错 我只不过 跟他们说你们俩是软脚虾而已 |
[16:31] | We had a good laugh about that. A good long laugh,actually. | 我们大笑了一通 久久不能停止啊 说真的 |
[16:33] | I explained how you get a mani/pedi once a month. | 我跟他们说你们每个月都要去美甲 |
[16:37] | Weekly,Wolverine– some of us care. | 每个星期都去的 密歇根土包子 我可是很注重小节的 |
[16:39] | And how you played the hammer dulcimer in the Pre-Reformation Dance Society at Wesleyan. | 还有你在卫斯理大学舞蹈社团 是玩榔头扬琴的 |
[16:45] | Did you at least tell them we were one of the premier Medieval chamber groups in the Little Ivies? | 那你有跟他们说我们是 “小长春藤盟校”的创始学校的一员吗? |
[16:49] | Oh,I did. | 我说了 |
[16:51] | And we all agreed it was much more likely that one guy beat up the three of them | 我们都认为 一个人放倒了他们三个 |
[16:54] | than that you two had anything to do with it,so… | 比你们参与了这次殴斗更有可能 所以… |
[16:58] | Wait,so… so now they’re only suing Doug. | 等等 这–这么说他们现在只告Doug咯? |
[17:00] | Affirmative. | 毫无疑问 |
[17:02] | Angry,irrational,violent Doug, | 亢奋的 野蛮的 暴力的Doug |
[17:06] | who now knows we were the ones who threw him under the bus. | 现在估计已经知道是我们出卖了他 |
[17:10] | They what? | 他们要怎么我? |
[17:12] | – Look,Doug,we can explain– – Explain what? | – 听着 Doug 我们可以解释 – 解释个啥? |
[17:15] | Explain how you stabbed me in the back right to my face? | 解释你们怎么在我面前背后捅我一刀? (够有难度的…当面背后捅…) |
[17:18] | – Robin,I’m scared. – Yeah,is Doug seeing anyone? | – Robin 我好害怕 – 我也是 Doug有跟什么人约会吗? |
[17:22] | Are you seeing anyone? You really should. | 你有跟人约会吗? 你真该找个人好好约会去了 |
[17:24] | Doug,look,you don’t understand,you beat up those guys all by yourself. | Doug 你不理解 是你自个儿把那些人打倒的 |
[17:29] | It’s true,all right? They had nothing to do with it. | 这是事实 知道不? 他们与此无关 |
[17:31] | I mean… look at these two. | 我的意思是… 看看他们两个 |
[17:36] | It was all Ted! | 都是Ted干的! |
[17:39] | – Look at this guy. – Yeah,look at me! | – 看看这家伙 – 没错 看看我! |
[17:41] | He wouldn’t last five minutes in a fight. | 要他打架的话 五分钟就趴倒了 |
[17:43] | Well,I think I could last at least five– | 我想我至少能坚持五分钟的– |
[17:44] | He’s got the muscle definition of linguini. | 他那些肌肉好像拉面一样 |
[17:47] | Yeah,linguini with meatballs maybe– check it. | 没错 肉丸拉面– 看着 |
[17:51] | – Ted,Ted,don’t. – Look! | – Ted Ted 别这样 – 瞧瞧! |
[17:54] | Okay,you know what,maybe it was just me. | 好吧 就算在我头上吧 |
[17:57] | Actually,you know what,that makes a lot of sense. | 实际上 还真是那么回事 |
[17:58] | I tend to black out a lot. | 我是有点晕晕乎乎的 |
[18:00] | Anyway,look,I always got your back. | 无论如何 听着 我每次都支持你们的 |
[18:03] | All I ask in return is that you got mine. | 我只想要你们都支持回我而已 |
[18:05] | But you know what? You don’t. You can’t be counted on. | 可知道不? 你们没有 你们太不可靠了 |
[18:11] | No wonder your fianc\e left you. | 怪不得你未婚妻抛弃你了 |
[18:14] | And here it is,kids,the only fight I’ve ever been in. | 孩子们 这就是我一生中唯一的一次打架 |
[18:17] | So what can I share about the experience? | 从中能得到什么教训呢? |
[18:22] | Well,for starters,when you punch someone in the face, | 这么说吧 你终于动手狠狠一拳打向某人的脸 |
[18:26] | it hurts your hand…a lot. | 你的手会很痛…非常痛 |
[18:32] | But what hurts even more than that? | 可有什么事是更加痛的呢? |
[18:35] | This. | 那就是… |
[18:37] | And the next thing I remember was waking up. | 接着我就晕倒了 醒来之后… |
[18:40] | Okay,I’m all warmed up. Let’s do this thing. | 好吧 我热身完了 大干一场吧 |
[18:44] | Turns out getting in a fight was a terrible idea. | 由此看来打架这主意太差了 |
[18:47] | And that’s my story. | 这就是我的故事 |
[18:49] | And what did you learn? | 而你从中学到了什么呢? |
[18:51] | Well,I learned that fighting is bad | 我懂得了打架是不好的 |
[18:56] | and you shouldn’t do it ever. | 以后都不能再这么干了 |
[18:58] | Any questions? | 有没有问题? |
[19:00] | Yeah,where do you find these people? | 我 你在哪儿找到这些人的? |
[19:04] | I know! | 我知道! |
[19:05] | Was there a big sale at the wuss market? | 是不是软脚虾超市大减价呢? |
[19:07] | Wuss! Wuss! Wuss! | 软脚虾! 软脚虾! 软脚虾! |
[19:10] | Of course,I didn’t tell those kids what really happened. | 当然 我没有告诉 这些孩子事情的真相 |
[19:14] | Okay,I’m all warmed up. Let’s do this thing. | 好吧 我热身完了 大干一场吧 |
[19:19] | – What happened? – This happened. | – 发生啥事了? – 就这么回事 |
[19:26] | Holy crap! | 我的天! |
[19:28] | Yeah,turns out Uncle Marshall and his brothers did a littleore than just roughhouse. | 看来Marshall叔叔和他的兄弟们 不仅仅是打打闹闹这么简单 |
[19:39] | Cocoa break! | 热可可时间 |
[19:49] | Marshall looks good. Has he lost weight? | Marshall看起来不错 他减肥了? |
[19:52] | Bitch,don’t even. | 婊子 别想了 |
[19:55] | Kids,I’d love to leave you with the message that fighting is bad and you shouldn’t do it, | 孩子们 我想告诉你们打架是不好的 你们不应该打架 |
[19:59] | but I knowhat’s pointless. | 但我知道这么说很空泛 |
[20:01] | So,I’ll leave you with this: | 所以我这么说吧 |
[20:02] | don’t ever get in a fight with Uncle Marshall. | 永远不要跟你Marshall叔叔打架 |
[20:05] | That guy’s freaking crazy. | 这家伙是个疯子 |
[20:12] | 回家的感觉真好 | |
[20:12] | thankgiving….. It is so good to be home. | 感恩节… |
[20:14] | Mom,Lily,fantastic job. | 老妈 Lily 这餐饭太棒了 |
[20:17] | Good food,good meat,good God,let’s eat. Right? | 吃好喝好 上帝好 是不? |
[20:20] | Okay,here we go. | 好 来吧 |
[20:21] | Goggles on. | 戴上护目镜 |
[20:27] | Alright,so,you guys pass the plates. | 好 你们都把盘子拿过来 |
[20:30] | Lily,you want white or dark meat? | Lily 你要胸肉还是腿肉? |
[20:32] | Dark! Honey,please be careful. | 腿肉! 亲爱的 小心呐 |