| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Kids, in the winter of 2010, | 孩子们 2010年的冬天 |
| [00:03] | we had a new addition to our little group | 我们的小团体加入的新成员 |
| [00:05] | Zoey. | 苏伊 |
| [00:06] | Zoey was married to.. | 苏伊有个老公 |
| [00:08] | The Captain. | 自称船长 |
| [00:09] | Boys! Great to see you! | 孩子们 很高兴见到你们 |
| [00:11] | Looking smart. | 小伙儿挺帅啊 |
| [00:12] | Have a wonderful time tonight, okay? | 今晚玩得开心点 好咩 |
| [00:14] | Okay. | 很好 |
| [00:17] | That man is terrifying. | 这位仁兄太可怕了 |
| [00:19] | Everything he said was nice, but I am profoundly scared. | 他说的话都很友善 可我咋就头皮发麻呢 |
| [00:22] | Keep smiling. He can still see us. | 保持微笑 他还看得见咱呢 |
| [00:24] | There was just something about him. | 我们总觉得他哪儿不对劲 |
| [00:26] | We couldn’t put our finger on it until… | 可又说不上毛病在哪 直到… |
| [00:29] | I figured it out! | 我总算明白了 |
| [00:32] | I know what’s so creepy about The Captain. | 我知道船长让人害怕的原因了 |
| [00:34] | Okay. | 好 你说 |
| [00:37] | Yeah. | 看 |
| [00:37] | I snapped this photo of him last time he dropped off Zoey. | 他昨晚送苏伊来的时候 我快拍下了这照片 |
| [00:40] | Observe. | 请观察 |
| [00:41] | The bottom half of his face… | 他脸的下半部分 |
| [00:44] | is smiling. | 笑眯眯的 |
| [00:45] | Look, he seems happy. | 他看似很欢乐 |
| [00:46] | Seems like a nice guy. | 看似很友善 |
| [00:48] | But the top half of his face… | 但是他脸的上半部分 |
| [00:51] | …wants to murder you! | 凶神恶煞的宰人样 |
| [00:52] | Cheerful. | 很欢乐很友善 |
| [00:54] | Wants to murder you. | 凶神恶煞的宰人样 |
| [00:56] | No. Cheerful. | 不 很欢乐很友善哦 |
| [00:58] | Wants to murder you. | 恨不能宰了你 |
| [00:59] | Now, hold on. Let me ask him a question. | 现在 等下 我来问个问题 |
| [01:01] | Captain, what do you think of ice cream? | 船长 你觉得冰激凌怎样 |
| [01:05] | Oh, he loves it! | 看 他超爱冰激凌 |
| [01:06] | Captain, what do you think of rainy days? | 船长 你觉得雨天怎么样 |
| [01:08] | Whoa, he hates them. | 哇 他恨透下雨天 |
| [01:10] | Captain, quick question: | 船长 问个小问题 |
| [01:13] | How do you feel about the Jonas Brothers? Ooh. | 你觉得乔纳斯兄弟怎么样[摇滚组合] |
| [01:19] | What-What is that? | 这…这是什么意思 |
| [01:20] | – I don’t get it. – I don’t get it. | -我没明白 -搞不懂 |
| [01:23] | He hates that he loves them. | 又爱又恨 冰火两重天 |
| [01:25] | Ah! | 原来如此 |
| [01:39] | Great. Okay. | 好极了 好的 |
| [01:40] | Hey, guys, Zoey just told me about | 伙计们 苏伊跟我说 |
| [01:42] | this great Frank Lloyd Wright retrospective tonight. | 今晚有个超赞的弗兰克·劳埃德·赖特巡回展 |
| [01:44] | Who’s in? | 谁想一起去 |
| [01:45] | Sorry, I’m, uh, I… | 抱歉 那个我… |
| [01:47] | I-I don’t know, washing my hair. | 准备洗个头什么的 |
| [01:49] | Running the water. | 我帮你放水 |
| [01:49] | Holding the towel. | 我给你拿毛巾 |
| [01:50] | And I’ll be home trying to get over the fact | 我会在家黯然神伤 独自纠结 |
| [01:53] | that no one invited me to the big hair washing party. | 为毛没人邀我去参加洗头狂欢节 |
| [01:55] | All right, fine. Guess it’ll just be me and Zoey. | 好吧 那就我和苏伊俩去咯 |
| [01:57] | Oh, wait. Just the two of you? | 等一下 就你们俩吗 |
| [01:59] | Tread lightly, Mosby. | 小心擦枪走火啊 小莫 |
| [02:01] | Any time a single guy hangs out with a married woman, | 无论何时 一个单身男跟个已婚少妇出门 |
| [02:04] | there are rules that must be followed. | 一定要严守以下规则 |
| [02:06] | Rule number one… | 第一 |
| [02:08] | Don’t use the husband’s condoms. | 千万别用她老公的套套 |
| [02:09] | That’s just rude. | 那样太失礼了 |
| [02:11] | Rule number one: | 第一 |
| [02:14] | don’t go anywhere that has candles. | 千万不能去点蜡烛的地方 |
| [02:16] | Excuse me, Captain, how do you feel | 打扰一下 船长 你如何看待 |
| [02:19] | about Ted and Zoey having an intimate chat by candlelight? | 泰德和苏伊 两人亲密的秉烛夜谈 |
| [02:24] | It’ll be the last dinner they ever have. | 那将是你们最后的晚餐 |
| [02:27] | Rule number two: | 第二 |
| [02:29] | No sharing food. | 不要共享食物 |
| [02:30] | In fact,anything involving saliva is off-limits. | 事实上 只要牵扯到口水 就要坚决杜绝 |
| [02:33] | Toothbrushes, thermometers, lipstick. | 牙刷 体温计 唇膏统统不行 |
| [02:35] | Well, if I can’t share her lipstick, | 讨厌啦 如果不能共用她的唇膏 |
| [02:36] | there’s really no point in even going. | 人家连展览都不想去了 |
| [02:38] | And the most important rule of all… | 最后 也是最重要的一点 |
| [02:40] | Lubricant is public property. | 润滑剂可以随便用啦 |
| [02:43] | Please. | 拜托 |
| [02:44] | No lying to the spouse about anything you do. | 全程必须毫无保留地告诉配偶 |
| [02:47] | Why would anyone lie? | 这有什么可隐瞒的 |
| [02:48] | Look, Zoey and I are just friends. | 听好 我和苏伊不过是朋友 |
| [02:50] | If there was anything more than that, | 如果有一丁点儿暧昧 |
| [02:51] | I wouldn’t hang out with her. | 我绝不会跟她出去 |
| [02:52] | Lily’s right, Ted. | 莉莉说得对 泰德 |
| [02:53] | Once you’re married,it’s very hard | 一旦你结婚了 就很难 |
| [02:55] | to be friends with a single person of the opposite sex. | 跟一个潜在性伴侣 保持朋友关系 |
| [02:57] | Yeah. Unless you’re old friends, | 没错 除非是个老朋友 |
| [02:59] | which is why i can hang out with Marshall whenever I want. | 所以我随时都可以找马修玩 |
| [03:01] | Right, Marsh Madness? | 对不对呀 马修也疯狂 |
| [03:02] | No doubt, Robo Cop. | 没错 咆哮小宾宾 |
| [03:05] | You two never hang out alone. | 你俩从不单独行动 |
| [03:06] | You just made up those nicknames right now. | 刚才那些绰号 也都是随口取的 |
| [03:08] | I guess it’s true. | 我想应该是哦 |
| [03:09] | You and I never really hang out alone. | 咱俩都没单独出去玩过 |
| [03:12] | Well, let’s. Let’s have dinner together, just the two of us. | 那就去呗 一起吃晚饭 就咱俩 |
| [03:15] | Oh! Sweet. | 真窝心耶 |
| [03:16] | No candles. | 不准点蜡烛 |
| [03:17] | No candles. | 要蜡烛干啥 |
| [03:19] | Lily, I guess that leaves just you and me. | 莉莉 那样的话就剩咱俩了 |
| [03:21] | Want to hang? | 想与我共度夜晚吗 |
| [03:22] | And then Lily said something to Barney | 随后莉莉的回答 |
| [03:24] | that insulted every fiber of his being. | 深切地凌辱了巴尼的每一个细胞 |
| [03:26] | Nah. | 拉倒 |
| [03:28] | Wait. No. It had to be more than just, “Nah.” | 等下 不对 肯定比”拉倒”这个词更伤人 |
| [03:31] | Oh, I think she said… | 我记得她原话是 |
| [03:32] | You’re a big… stupid octopus head! | 你这愚蠢的大头章鱼 |
| [03:38] | No, that doesn’t make sense. | 不对 不可能这样无故骂人 |
| [03:39] | Okay, hang on. What did she say? | 好了 等一下 她怎么说的来着 |
| [03:42] | She said, um, uh… | 她说 呃 |
| [03:47] | To be honest kids, I’m having a little trouble remembering | 实话实说 孩子们 爹有点儿想不起来 |
| [03:50] | exactly what their fight was about. | 他们当时为什么吵起来了 |
| [03:51] | Hey, it was 20 years ago! | 喂 都二十年前的事了好不好 |
| [03:53] | I’ll remember. | 我会想起来的 |
| [03:54] | Anyway, the next night… | 随便啦 第二天晚上 |
| [03:55] | Well, Lily, you were right. | 莉莉 你说的没错 |
| [03:58] | Something weird happened with Zoey last night. | 昨晚我跟苏伊真的怪怪的 |
| [04:01] | Oh, that’s the Captain. | 咦 是船长 |
| [04:04] | Yes, I call my husband The Captain, | 没错 我称呼我老公为船长 |
| [04:07] | but that is the only concession I make to his seafaring ways. | 对他的航海事业 我只有这一点点妥协哦 |
| [04:10] | Hang on. | 等会儿哈 |
| [04:11] | Ahoy. | 啊嘿[海上打招呼用词] |
| [04:12] | I’m just out with friends. | 我跟朋友们在外面玩呢 |
| [04:15] | Friends. Plural. | 朋友们 她居然用复数 |
| [04:17] | Like-Like there was more than one of me. | 就跟那当时有好几个我一样 |
| [04:20] | She lied to her husband? Uh-oh. | 她对她老公撒谎了 不妙 |
| [04:23] | So, what did you do? | 那你怎么做的 |
| [04:25] | Uh, Zoey, um, did you just say you were out with friends? | 苏伊 你刚是说和”朋友们”在外面吗 |
| [04:28] | Yeah. The Captain’s on his way home from Milan. | 是啊 船长正在从米兰回来的路上 |
| [04:31] | He can get a little jealous sometimes, | 他有时会有点吃醋 |
| [04:32] | so I didn’t want to make him worry. | 所以我不想让他担心 |
| [04:35] | Is that okay? | 有问题吗 |
| [04:36] | It’s totally okay. | 完全没问题 |
| [04:38] | – It’s not okay! – I didn’t really think it was okay! | -问题大了 -我也觉得有问题 |
| [04:40] | Pur-leez! You lie to your husband all the time. | 胡说 你一直都在对你老公撒谎 |
| [04:43] | “Uh, uh, that shirt looks great on you” | “那件衬衫穿在你身上真帅” |
| [04:45] | “I love your mom” | “我爱你妈妈” |
| [04:47] | “I never fantasize about Barney when we’re doing it” | “我跟你做爱的时候 从没臆想过巴尼” |
| [04:50] | Sound familiar, Pinocchio? | 这话听起来很耳熟吧 木偶匹诺曹[撒谎鼻子会长长] |
| [04:53] | What’s wrong with this shirt? | 这件衬衫怎么不好了 |
| [04:55] | Lily, ruling. | 莉莉 你来裁决 |
| [04:57] | Do I have to stop hanging out with Zoey? | 我是不是不该再跟苏伊出去了 |
| [05:00] | No, you just need to spend time | 不 你只需要跟他们两口子 |
| [05:02] | with her and The Captain together. | 一起出去玩玩 |
| [05:04] | If you’re friends with the both of them, | 如果你成为他们俩的朋友 |
| [05:06] | then there’s not a problem. | 那就没问题了 |
| [05:07] | Actually, I do have a standing invitation from The Captain | 说真的 船长真的邀请过我 |
| [05:09] | to go for a ride with them on his boat. | 乘坐他的船 跟他们俩一起出海游玩 |
| [05:12] | Great. So go make nice with Captain Creepy, | 太好了 好好跟恐怖船长相处 |
| [05:15] | and problem solved. | 问题就解决了 |
| [05:17] | The next night, | 第二天晚上 |
| [05:18] | Marshall and Robin went to dinner, | 马修和罗宾去吃晚餐 |
| [05:20] | just the two of them. | 只有他们俩 |
| [05:22] | Now historically, | 他们聊到了 |
| [05:23] | they had three solid conversation topics: | 三个亘古不变的话题 |
| [05:25] | cold weather… | 寒冷的天气 |
| [05:26] | December chill– so great. | 十二月很冷 太棒了 |
| [05:29] | Totally. | 没错 |
| [05:32] | …sports… | 体育 |
| [05:34] | Did you catch | 你看了 |
| [05:36] | the game last night? | 昨晚的比赛吗 |
| [05:38] | Yeah. Nail-biter. | 看了 太激烈了 |
| [05:42] | …and cold weather sports. | 以及冬季体育 |
| [05:46] | – You know what’s fun? – Mm. | -你知道什么最有趣吗 -什么 |
| [05:47] | Is cold weather sports. | 是冬季体育 |
| [05:49] | They are fun. | 是很有趣 |
| [05:51] | They blew through them all | 他们在开场的十六秒里 |
| [05:53] | in the first 16 seconds. | 就把这三个话题聊了个遍 |
| [05:54] | Man, this is awkward. | 天啊 太尴尬了 |
| [05:56] | She’s giving me nothing! | 她跟我没话说 |
| [05:59] | He’s just staring at me! | 他就这么盯着我 |
| [06:01] | She’s just staring at me! | 她就这么盯着我 |
| [06:03] | It’s making me nervous. | 弄得我很紧张 |
| [06:05] | Great, now my left eye is twitching. | 这下好了 我的左眼开始乱跳了 |
| [06:07] | Marshall, it’s cool. | 马修 没事的 |
| [06:09] | She doesn’t see it. | 她没发现 |
| [06:11] | What the hell’s going on with his eye? | 他的眼睛到底是怎么了 |
| [06:14] | Am I supposed to not talk about that? | 我是不是不该过问 |
| [06:16] | Great, now my right eye is doing it. | 这下好了 我的右眼也跳了 |
| [06:22] | Can I get you two some drinks? | 两位需要什么酒水吗 |
| [06:24] | – Lots of drinks. – Oh, so many drinks. | -迫切需要 -越多越好 |
| [06:26] | That same night, Barney and Lily were still fighting | 同样在那晚 巴尼和莉莉仍在为某事 |
| [06:28] | about, um… something. | 争执不休 |
| [06:30] | Or was it that other thing? | 或是为别的事 |
| [06:32] | – Barney. – Save it, Lily. | -巴尼 -省省吧 莉莉 |
| [06:34] | I am still mad at you for… | 我还在生你的气 |
| [06:36] | something, and for that other thing. | 因为这件事 还有那件事 |
| [06:39] | Look, I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. | 对不起 我让你伤心了 |
| [06:42] | But let’s be honest. | 但老实说 |
| [06:43] | You’ve been super sensitive lately. | 你最近太敏感了 |
| [06:45] | No, I haven’t! | 不 我没有 |
| [06:47] | God, how can you say that?! | 天啊 你怎么能这么说呢 |
| [06:50] | Watch out! | 小心 |
| [06:52] | Wait. They were on the street. | 等等 他们当时是在大街上 |
| [06:54] | Watch out! | 小心 |
| [06:56] | Wow. Thanks, Lily. | 谢谢 莉莉 |
| [06:59] | You saved me. | 你救了我 |
| [07:02] | You saved us. | 你救了我们爷俩 |
| [07:04] | Look, I know you didn’t mean | 我知道无论你说了什么 |
| [07:07] | whatever it was you said that made me so mad. | 让我生气的话 你都不是故意的 |
| [07:10] | I think I probably didn’t. | 我大概不是故意的吧 |
| [07:13] | And just like that, the fight was over. | 就这样 争吵结束了 |
| [07:16] | You know, kids, friendship is funny sometimes. | 孩子们 友情有时很搞笑 |
| [07:19] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [07:20] | I still can’t resist getting one last shot in. | 我还是忍不住 想最后再说一句 |
| [07:25] | Like I said, the fight was just getting started. | 正如我说的 争执又一触即发 |
| [07:39] | Hi, Captain. | 嗨 船长 |
| [07:41] | The Captain. | 船长大人 |
| [07:43] | Captain. | 船长 |
| [07:44] | Ahoy, Ted! | 啊嘿 泰德 |
| [07:45] | Excellent to see you. | 见到你太好了 |
| [07:47] | Ah, you, too. Uh, where’s Zoey? | 你也是 苏伊在哪 |
| [07:49] | Well, I’m afraid she’s feeling a little under the weather. | 她身体有点不舒服 |
| [07:52] | Looks like it’s just you, me | 看来就只有我和你 |
| [07:54] | and six hours in frigid international waters. | 在这冰冷的公海上 共度六小时 |
| [07:57] | Or we could stay on dry land, | 或者我们可以待在陆地上 |
| [07:59] | hang out with some… witnesses. | 跟其他人一起玩 比如目击者 |
| [08:02] | You’re a hoot. | 你真有意思 |
| [08:04] | I’ve been looking forward to this. | 我期待今晚 |
| [08:10] | For a very long time. | 已经很久了 |
| [08:14] | Well, anchors aweigh! | 起锚出发 |
| [08:16] | Kids, here’s one thing I do remember. | 孩子们 有一件事我记得很清楚 |
| [08:19] | I was pretty sure I was going to die that night. | 我十分确信 当晚我小命不保 |
| [08:32] | You know, I had this really boring poetry class in college. | 我在高中的时候 上过非常”没劲”的诗歌课 |
| [08:35] | Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | 等等 等等 |
| [08:37] | You were just thinking that this dinner is really boring. | 你觉得这顿晚餐很没劲 |
| [08:39] | That’s what made you think of your boring class in college. | 所以让你想起了高中”没劲”的课 |
| [08:42] | What?! What? No! No! No, no, no. | 什么 不 不 不 |
| [08:44] | Marshall, no. No. I… | 马修 不是的 我… |
| [08:46] | I just saw that board of specials, and I thought, | 我只是看见了”劲减”优惠餐牌 我就想 |
| [08:50] | you know what sucks? | 什么才是最逊的呢 |
| [08:52] | Being bored. | “没劲” |
| [08:53] | Which I am not. | 而我现在恰好不是 |
| [08:54] | So that clears that… right up. | 于是我就想起了那节课 自然而然 |
| [08:59] | Robin, I’m an attorney. | 罗宾 我可是律师 |
| [09:01] | Fine. This night’s a little awkward. | 好吧 今晚是有点尴尬 |
| [09:03] | I guess it’s ’cause we never hang out alone together. | 我想是因为我们从没单独出来过 |
| [09:06] | Why is that? | 这又是为什么 |
| [09:07] | It’s ’cause of The Mermaid Theory. | 都是美人鱼理论闹的 |
| [09:09] | Two years ago, I had just hired a new assistant at GNB. | 两年前我在巨人国家银行雇了一名新助理 |
| [09:16] | So, who’s the eye broccoli? | 这花菜眼是谁啊 |
| [09:19] | Okay, that’s Iris, my new assistant. | 那是爱瑞斯 我的新助理 |
| [09:22] | And yes, she’s a little plain, | 好吧 她是有点普通 |
| [09:24] | but I’m married, so that’s good. | 但我已经结婚了 这挺好的 |
| [09:27] | Mark my words, Marshall. | 记住我的话 马修 |
| [09:28] | Someday you will find Iris so excruciatingly attractive, | 有一天你会发现爱瑞斯魅力超凡 |
| [09:31] | you won’t be able to look her directly in the boobs. | 你都无法直视她的双峰 |
| [09:38] | I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem. | 我可不觉得这会是问题 |
| [09:41] | Marshall, do you know how the myth of mermaids came to be? | 马修 你知道美人鱼神话是怎么来的吗 |
| [09:45] | I’m sorry. Myth? | 抱歉 什么神话 |
| [09:46] | It was 300 years ago. | 那是在三百年前 |
| [09:49] | Sailors stuck at sea would get desperate | 在海上航行的船员们 对于女性伴侣 |
| [09:51] | for female companionship. | 饥渴不已 |
| [09:53] | It got so bad that, eventually, | 这种饥渴的程度之深 最终 |
| [09:56] | the manatees out in the water started to look like… | 一只出水的海牛 也开始看起来像… |
| [10:00] | beautiful women. | 美女 |
| [10:02] | Mermaids. | 美人鱼 |
| [10:08] | Let’s go get some tail! | 我们去打点鱼吧 |
| [10:16] | You see, every woman, no matter how initially repugnant, | 每个女人 不管最初有多么令人厌恶 |
| [10:20] | has a mermaid clock. | 都有个美人鱼变身倒计时 |
| [10:22] | The time it takes for you to realize you want to bone her. | 过不了多久 你会开始想把她扒光 |
| [10:25] | Sure, today you see Iris as a manatee. | 当然 今天你认为爱瑞斯就是个海牛 |
| [10:28] | But she ain’t gonna stay that way. | 但她不可能一直都是海牛 |
| [10:31] | Marshall, your secretary’s mermaid clock starts right now. | 马修 你秘书的美人鱼变身倒计时 现在开始 |
| [10:37] | And it took one year, three months, and 16 days, | 1年3个月零16天都相安无事 |
| [10:41] | but eventually… | 但最终 |
| [10:52] | D’oh! | 别啊 |
| [10:53] | Told you. | 我说的吧 |
| [10:55] | The Mermaid Theory. | 美人鱼理论 |
| [10:56] | It’s a thing. | 很准的 |
| [10:57] | You owe me 500 bucks. | 你欠我500块 |
| [10:59] | Did we bet on this? | 我们打赌了吗 |
| [11:00] | Let’s say yes. | 就算是打了吧 |
| [11:02] | – And that’s why we never hang out alone? – Yes. | -因为这个我们从来没单独出来玩过吗 -是的 |
| [11:05] | As Lily’s best friend, you are the last person on the planet | 身为莉莉的死党 你是最最不应该 |
| [11:08] | who’s allowed to turn into a mermaid. | 变成美人鱼的人 |
| [11:10] | Wait, does that mean | 等等 是不是说 |
| [11:11] | that I’m a manatee right now? | 我现在就是只海牛 |
| [11:15] | Big-time manatee. | 绝对是只大海牛 |
| [11:18] | What were those sailors thinking? | 那些水手是什么脑子 |
| [11:21] | Huh. I don’t know. | 不了解 |
| [11:24] | Being out at sea can do crazy things to a man. | 置身于大海的人 都会做出疯狂的举动 |
| [11:28] | Vast, the sea. | 广阔的大海 |
| [11:31] | Deep. | 深邃 |
| [11:33] | Endless. | 无尽 |
| [11:35] | Going around for miles. | 驶出数里 |
| [11:39] | You could scream and scream, and not a soul would hear you. | 呼喊尖叫 却没有一个人能听见 |
| [11:44] | Listen to this. | 听 |
| [11:48] | Help! | 救命啊 |
| [11:49] | Somebody help me! | 快来人啊 |
| [11:51] | I’m trapped on a boat with a madman! | 我跟一个疯子被困在船上了 |
| [11:53] | Help! | 救命 |
| [11:57] | See? Nothing. | 瞧见没 什么反应都没 |
| [12:04] | He’s gonna kill me. | 他肯定会杀了我的 |
| [12:06] | Okay, calm down, Teddy. | 好吧 放轻松点 泰德 |
| [12:08] | He’s not jealous. | 他没有吃醋 |
| [12:08] | He hasn’t even mentioned Zoey. | 他都没提过苏伊 |
| [12:11] | So, Ted, | 泰德 |
| [12:12] | I noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time with Zoey. | 我发现你经常和苏伊一起玩 |
| [12:24] | Seriously? I step away for five seconds, | 不是吧 我才走开一会儿 |
| [12:26] | and you eat all my onion rings? | 你就把我的洋葱圈都吃完了 |
| [12:29] | No surprise there. | 我就猜到会这样 |
| [12:31] | What’s that supposed to mean? | 你这是什么意思 |
| [12:32] | Are you calling me fat? | 你是不是说我胖 |
| [12:36] | If there is one thing you never do, | 有一件绝对不能做的事 |
| [12:38] | it is call a woman fat right to her face! | 那就是当面说一个女人胖 |
| [12:41] | Wait. Barney’s not a woman. | 等等 巴尼不是女人 |
| [12:43] | That’s right– Barney wasn’t hurt by Lily, | 对了 不是莉莉伤了巴尼的心 |
| [12:46] | Lily was hurt by Barney. | 是巴尼伤了莉莉的心 |
| [12:49] | Want to hang? | 想与我共度夜晚吗 |
| [12:50] | Nah. | 拉倒 |
| [12:52] | Watch out! | 小心 |
| [12:57] | Wow… thanks, Barney. | 谢谢你巴尼 |
| [12:59] | You saved me. | 你救了我 |
| [13:02] | You saved us. | 你救了我们娘俩 |
| [13:04] | If there’s one thing you never do, | 有一件绝对不能做的事 |
| [13:06] | it’s call a woman fat right to her face! | 那就是当面说一个女人胖 |
| [13:09] | Okay, now I’m on track. | 好了 现在理顺了 |
| [13:11] | The rest of this story should make perfect sense. | 剩下的故事 应该能对得上号了 |
| [13:13] | Oh, Lily, I’m sorry. | 莉莉 对不起 |
| [13:15] | Hey, you want to see a magic trick? | 想看变魔术吗 |
| [13:22] | You’re a jerk. | 混蛋 |
| [13:24] | Okay, that makes no sense. | 好吧 又对不上号了 |
| [13:26] | Kids, I’m officially admitting defeat. | 孩子们 我承认我失败了 |
| [13:28] | I will never remember this story. | 我记不得这个故事了 |
| [13:30] | I’m sorry for wasting your time. | 抱歉耽误了你们的时间 |
| [13:32] | Ted, let me show you my harpoon collection. | 泰德 给你看我收集的鱼叉 |
| [13:35] | Just gonna make a quick call. | 我先打个电话 |
| [13:37] | Hey, silly question. | 弱弱地问一下 |
| [13:38] | What are our exact nautical coordinates? | 我们现在的准确船舶坐标是多少 |
| [13:41] | How now? | 现在的吗 |
| [13:42] | Oh, bother. | 哦 完了 |
| [13:47] | she’s a goner. | 她死定了 |
| [13:51] | By now, the icy tide has already dropped | 现在 冰冷潮水的中心温度 |
| [13:54] | its core temperature to near freezing. | 已经接近0度 |
| [13:57] | And down it goes. | 越往下越冷 |
| [13:59] | Now it’s at 50 meters. | 现在她掉到50米处 |
| [14:02] | Complete crushing blackness. | 那里有令人窒息的漆黑 |
| [14:05] | 100 meters. | 100米 |
| [14:07] | The pressure is so intense, | 压力太大 |
| [14:08] | the keys are popping right out of its head. | 按键一个个从前端蹦出来 |
| [14:11] | – Head? – 200 meters. | -脑袋 -200米 |
| [14:14] | No one will ever find its mangled remains, | 再也没人能找到它的残骸 |
| [14:17] | save for the crustacea | 成为专吃支架尸体的 |
| [14:20] | that feed off its lifeless husk. | 甲壳类动物的盘中餐 |
| [14:24] | Can you hear me now? | 你能听到我说话吗 |
| [14:26] | No. Because you’re on the bottom of the sea. | 不能 因为你深陷海底 |
| [14:31] | Well, I got a big morning, so… | 我明天还要一大早起床 所以 |
| [14:34] | – Dry cleaners, bank, you know, so… – Ted, it’s time. | -去洗衣店 银行 所以 -泰德 是时候了 |
| [14:38] | I have something for you. | 我为你准备了一样东西 |
| [14:40] | Wait here. | 在这等一下 |
| [14:45] | Okay, you got to swim for it, Mosby. | 好吧 你只能游走逃命了 莫斯比 |
| [14:48] | Man versus sea. | 人海之战 |
| [14:50] | You can do this. | 你能行 |
| [14:51] | You didn’t get a “Good Effort” ribbon | 你之所以没有拿到谢克海茨[美国俄亥俄州] |
| [14:52] | from the Shaker Heights JCC Swim Camp | 犹太人社区中心游泳训练营的”勤奋绸带” |
| [14:54] | because you don’t have what it takes. | 是因为你没有必须搏命去游的理由 |
| [14:56] | Found it. | 找到了 |
| [14:57] | Zoey told me you’re a scotch drinker. | 苏伊跟我说 你爱喝苏格兰烈酒 |
| [15:00] | I bought this special for tonight. | 我特地为今晚买的 |
| [15:03] | And just as I started to realize that | 就在我放松紧绷的神经 |
| [15:05] | maybe I wasn’t in danger after all, | 开始觉得没有危险的时候 |
| [15:07] | we hit a bump. | 我们的船突然猛烈地一晃 |
| [15:11] | Ted? | 泰德 |
| [15:16] | Ok, ok. So you’re afraid that | 我明白了 所以你是担心 |
| [15:18] | if you spend too much time alone with me, | 跟我单独一起呆久了 |
| [15:20] | I’ll turn into a mermaid? | 我会变成美人鱼吗 |
| [15:22] | Yes. I mean, sure, right now, | 对 我的意思是 |
| [15:24] | you’re bald and leathery | 当然现在的你 秃顶皮厚 |
| [15:25] | and covered in a thick layer of blubber… | 裹在一层厚厚的脂肪里 |
| [15:27] | Am I blushing or…? | 你的赞美是不是让我脸红了 |
| [15:29] | …but at some point, my stupid male brain will | 但到某一时刻 我白痴的男性大脑会把你 |
| [15:32] | transform you into a foxy fish-babe | 变形成一个妖艳的鱼美人 |
| [15:36] | singin'”Part of Your World” to my pants. | 对着我的下半身高歌 《你世界的一部分》 |
| [15:38] | Okay, even if that happens, | 好吧 如果发生了 |
| [15:40] | is there any way to un-mermaid me? | 有没有什么办法把我从美人鱼变回来 |
| [15:42] | I asked Barney the same thing. | 我问了巴尼同样的问题 |
| [15:47] | Once mermaidified, there’s only one way | 一旦变身美人鱼 只有一个办法 |
| [15:49] | a woman can go back to being unattractive again, | 能让这个女人变得毫无吸引力可言 |
| [15:51] | but it’s pretty gruesome. | 但是 方法很骇人 |
| [15:53] | Death? | 一命呜呼吗 |
| [15:55] | Worse. Pregnancy. | 更糟糕 怀孕 |
| [15:57] | If a baby’s on board that train, | 女人一旦怀上孩子 |
| [15:59] | it is headed straight back to Manatee City, | 就搭上了速度驶回海牛城的快车 |
| [16:02] | where the grass ain’t green and the girls ain’t pretty. | 那里芳草不再萋萋 淑女不再窈窕 |
| [16:05] | Pregnancy? | 怀孕 |
| [16:06] | Mm-hmm. Once a mermaid gets pregnant, | 没错 美人鱼一旦怀孕 |
| [16:08] | she becomes a manatee again. | 就会变回海牛 |
| [16:11] | Never thought I’d say that sentence. | 没想过我真会说出这种话 |
| [16:13] | Wait! That’s it! | 慢着 我想起来了 |
| [16:15] | That’s what Barney and Lily were fighting about! | 莉莉和巴尼争来吵去的 就是这事儿 |
| [16:17] | The Mermaid Theory! | 美人鱼理论 |
| [16:18] | But their argument didn’t happen at the same time | 但是他们的争论 和其他事情 |
| [16:20] | as all this other stuff. | 发生在不同时间 |
| [16:22] | I’m literally in the wrong year! | 我搞错年份了 |
| [16:23] | It happened much, much later when Lily was… | 那发生在经年之后 彼时莉莉已然 |
| [16:26] | pregnant. | 孕妇一枚 |
| [16:27] | Well, Lily, I guess it’s just you and me. | 那么莉莉 貌似只剩下你和我了 |
| [16:29] | You wanna hang? | 想与我共度夜晚吗 |
| [16:30] | Nah. | 拉倒 |
| [16:32] | Whenever we’re alone, | 每当我们两个独处时 |
| [16:33] | you spend the whole time undressing me with your eyes. | 你总是无时无刻地用你的眼睛 把我扒光 |
| [16:36] | You even take off my shoes. | 甚至还脱了我的鞋子 |
| [16:38] | High heels chafe my shoulders. | 在开搞的时候 高跟鞋会擦伤我的肩膀 |
| [16:41] | But you don’t have to worry about that anymore. | 但是你用不着担心这个 |
| [16:43] | Ever since you got pregnant, you’re just a big fat manatee. | 自从怀孕后 你就成了一只大胖海牛 |
| [16:47] | Well, you’re a big | 那你就是只 |
| [16:50] | stupid octopus face! | 愚蠢的大脸章鱼 |
| [16:52] | That was it! I remember now! | 没错了 我想起来了 |
| [16:56] | Wow. Thanks, Barney. | 谢谢 巴尼 |
| [16:58] | You saved me. | 你救了我 |
| [17:01] | You saved us. | 你救了我们娘俩 |
| [17:04] | If there’s one thing you never do, | 有一件绝对不能做的事 |
| [17:07] | it’s call a woman “fat” right to her face! | 那就是当面说一个女人胖 |
| [17:09] | I’m sorry, Lily. | 对不起 莉莉 |
| [17:11] | Hey, you want to see a magic trick? | 想看个魔术吗 |
| [17:18] | You’re a jerk. | 混蛋 |
| [17:22] | Hey. Hey, wait. | 喂 喂 等等 |
| [17:23] | Come on. I was kid… | 别这样 我开玩… |
| [17:24] | Wait, wait, wait! | 等等 别走啊 |
| [17:26] | There’s another addendum to The Mermaid Theory. | 美人鱼理论还有个补充说明 |
| [17:28] | A pregnant woman who’s become a manatee can become | 变成海牛的怀孕妇女 只需一个简单的小动作 |
| [17:32] | a mermaid again through one simple act. | 就能变回美人鱼 |
| [17:33] | What’s that? | 什么动作 |
| [17:34] | Breast-feeding. Hot. | 喂奶 巨性感 |
| [17:36] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [17:37] | Really. | 哥不骗你 |
| [17:39] | When those things swell up to three times their normal size, | 当咪咪的浑圆程度 变成正常情况的三倍 |
| [17:41] | so do I. | 我的某个部位也会随之胀大三倍 |
| [17:43] | That’s so sweet! | 说的我心都醉了 |
| [17:47] | See kids? Told you I’d get it! | 看到了吧 孩子们 我就说我想起来了嘛 |
| [17:49] | Okay. Now we’re even! | 行了 现在我们扯平了 |
| [17:53] | Yeah, that’s the ending to a whole other story. | 没错 那是后话 |
| [17:56] | We’ll get there. | 暂且先不提 |
| [17:59] | So you really thought I was gonna kill you? | 你真以为我要杀了你吗 |
| [18:01] | Well… ish. | 差不多 |
| [18:03] | Oh, Ted, that’s ridiculous. | 泰德 这太荒唐了 |
| [18:05] | If I wanted to kill you, I’d invite you to my hunting lodge. | 我要是想杀你 就会邀你去我的狩猎小屋 |
| [18:08] | It’s far more remote, and I wouldn’t have | 荒山野岭人烟罕至 我也不用担心 |
| [18:11] | to worry about you turning up in some nosy fisherman’s net. | 你会被渔网捞起来 永无后患 |
| [18:15] | See? It’s stuff like that. | 看 就是这种腔调 |
| [18:16] | Why-why do you talk that way? | 你干嘛非得这样吓人呢 |
| [18:18] | Oh, I’m just jesting for sport. | 我跟你闹着玩儿呢 |
| [18:22] | See, sometimes I don’t bond as well | 你看 有时候我跟苏伊的小朋友们 |
| [18:25] | with Zoey’s younger friends. | 合不大来 |
| [18:27] | But I know she really likes you. | 但是我知道她特别喜欢你 |
| [18:31] | I was hoping that maybe we could be buddies. | 我一直希望 某天或许我们能成为哥们儿 |
| [18:34] | We can. | 我们可以 |
| [18:37] | We can be buddies. | 我们能成为哥们儿 |
| [18:39] | Just not on a boat. | 别在船上就好 |
| [18:40] | Fair enough. | 有道理 |
| [18:41] | The hunting lodge it is. | 那就去狩猎小屋吧 |
| [18:46] | You know, once we stopped trying to have a conversation | 你知道 我们放弃纠结于没话找话 |
| [18:49] | and just focused on the drinking | 专心喝酒那会儿 |
| [18:51] | I had fun. | 我可开心了 |
| [18:52] | Yeah. Me, too. | 没错 我也是呢 |
| [18:54] | And then a terrible thing happened. | 接着 可怕的事情发生了 |
| [18:56] | Marshall’s beer goggles kicked in | 马修醉酒上头 |
| [18:57] | and his very drunk mind started to see | 在他迷离的眼神里赫然出现了 |
| [19:03] | No! No! No! | 不 不 不 |
| [19:06] | No! No! | 不 不 |
| [19:08] | Don’t turn! | 别变身啊 |
| [19:12] | I don’t feel so good. | 我觉得不太舒服 |
| [19:18] | Oh, my God! Oh, my God, I am, I am so sorry! | 天啊 真是太抱歉了 |
| [19:22] | Oh! You must think I’m totally disgusting. | 你肯定觉得我恶心死了 |
| [19:26] | I really do. | 我是这么觉得 |
| [19:32] | And from that moment on | 从那一刻起 |
| [19:33] | Marshall never worried | 马修再也不必担心 |
| [19:34] | about Robin becoming a mermaid again, | 罗宾会再次变成美人鱼了 |
| [19:36] | and the two of them were closer than ever. | 从此他们两个亲密无间 甚过往常 |
| [19:40] | Hey, Ted. | 你好啊 泰德 |
| [19:41] | Hey. You feeling better? | 你好 感觉好些了没 |
| [19:43] | I have a confession to make. | 我要对你坦白 |
| [19:45] | I wasn’t really sick. | 我那天并没有不舒服 |
| [19:48] | You weren’t? | 你没有吗 |
| [19:49] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [19:50] | I was just feeling guilty | 只是对船长撒谎 |
| [19:51] | that I lied to The Captain and | 让我有些愧疚 |
| [19:53] | I don’t know, I just thought it would be good | 我也说不上来 我只觉得 |
| [19:57] | if you two spent some time together. | 让你们俩独处一阵子也不错 |
| [19:59] | I get it. | 我懂了 |
| [20:00] | And you were right. | 你说的没错 |
| [20:01] | He’s a nice guy. | 他是个好人 |
| [20:02] | I mean, he can be a little scary. | 我是说 他有些许吓人 |
| [20:05] | Yeah, he gets a little murdery when he’s nervous. | 没错 他紧张的时候表情像个杀人犯 |
| [20:08] | Yeah, he’s a creepy dude. | 对 他是个惊悚的怪咖 |
| [20:10] | But I like him. | 但是我喜欢他 |
| [20:11] | And I just want to make sure | 我只想确认一下 |
| [20:14] | you and I hanging out | 你跟我单独约见 |
| [20:15] | doesn’t, you know, cross any lines. | 不会越过什么界限吧 |
| [20:18] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [20:19] | I mean, if either one of us had even the slightest hint | 我意思是 要是我们中有一个对另外那个 |
| [20:22] | of feelings for the other, we shouldn’t hang out. | 有哪怕一丝好感 我们就不应该呆在一起了 |
| [20:24] | You don’t, do you? | 你不会吧 会吗 |
| [20:26] | No. Do you? | 不会啊 你呢 |
| [20:29] | No. | 不会 |
| [20:41] | Still no sign of land. | 还是没有陆地的迹象 |
| [20:42] | It’s been 243 days since we’ve seen | 我们已经有整整243天没看见 |
| [20:46] | another living soul. | 另外的活物了 |
| [20:58] | What are you looking at? | 你看什么呢 |
| [21:03] | Dude, we need to find land. | 伙计 我们得赶紧上岸 |