| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Kids, for years, your Uncle Barney | 孩子们，你们的巴尼叔叔很多年来 |
| [00:02] | had reveled in mocking Aunt Robin’s Canadian heritage. | 一直嘲笑罗宾阿姨的加拿大人身份 |
| [00:05] | To have to grow up in Canada… | 旁边就是美国 |
| [00:07] | with America right there. | 你非得在加拿大长大 |
| [00:09] | It’s like an entire country without a tailor. | 你们全国就没一个像样的裁缝 |
| [00:12] | Why? Why do we let you be a country?! | 为什么 为什么我们居然让你们成为一个国家？ |
| [00:15] | But all that was about to change. | 但这一切就要改变了 |
| [00:18] | Guys, I have a very important annoucement to make.I was on Facebook. | 伙计们，我有重要事情宣布 我上了Facebook |
| [00:22] | Nobody cool’s on Facebook anymore. | Facebook上没什么潮人了 |
| [00:24] | Well, you know who is on Facebook now? | 那么，你知道Facebook上还有谁吗 |
| [00:26] | Everybody’s parents. | 你们每个人的爸妈 |
| [00:28] | And I just happen to be friends | 我刚跟巴尼失散多年的老爸 |
| [00:30] | with Barney’s long-lost father, | 杰若姆・惠特克先生 |
| [00:32] | Mr. Jerome Whitaker. – Me, too. | 加了好友 -我也是 |
| [00:34] | He’s gotten really good at Bejeweled Blitz. | 他玩钻石迷情玩得真好 |
| [00:35] | And guess who thought my status update about Manitoba was | 你们再猜猜是谁觉得我刚更新的关于曼尼托巴省状态 |
| [00:39] | so interesting because his mother was born in Manitoba? | 很有意思 因为那个人的母亲正好生于曼尼托巴省？（在加拿大） |
| [00:45] | What? | 啥？ |
| [00:46] | Which means your grandmother… | 意思就是你的奶奶… |
| [00:48] | No… | 不 |
| [00:49] | Which makes you… | 意思就是你… |
| [00:50] | Don’t say it! | 别说啦 |
| [00:51] | …one-quarter Canadian! | 是四分之一的加拿大人 |
| [00:55] | Welcome to the tribe, hoser! | 欢迎加入我们的族群 呆瓜 |
| [00:57] | No… | 不… |
| [00:59] | it’s not true! | 不可能是真的 |
| [01:01] | That’s impossible! | 绝对不可能 |
| [01:21] | Once upon a time at a Halloween party, | 很久之前在万圣节派对上 |
| [01:24] | I met a girl dressed like a pumpkin… | 我遇见了一个穿着南瓜服装的女孩 |
| [01:26] | a slutty pumpkin. | 一位浪荡的南瓜妹 |
| [01:27] | And she was extraordinary. | 她牛逼呆了 |
| [01:29] | But she gave me her number on a Kit Kat bar, | 可她在奇巧（一种零食）的包装纸上给了我她的电话 |
| [01:32] | which was tragically given away as Halloween candy. | 悲剧的是我把那张写着电话的糖果当普通糖果送人了 |
| [01:35] | So every year I return to that same party | 我每年都去那个派对 |
| [01:36] | hoping I’d see her again. | 希望能再一次见到她 |
| [01:38] | But with every passing October,that hope grew a little dimmer. | 可每个十月匆匆而过 那份希冀变得越来越淡 |
| [01:42] | Then one day, after ten years of searching… | 追寻了十年后 有一天 |
| [01:47] | The slutty pumpkin. | 浪荡南瓜妹 |
| [01:50] | This might sound creepy, but do you have a record | 这听起来可能有点诡异 |
| [01:52] | of who rented it in 2001? | 你有保存2001年租这套服装的记录吗 |
| [01:57] | Wow, that was easy. | 喔 这小菜一碟 |
| [01:58] | You’re not the first lovelorn young man | 你不是踏入我这道门的 |
| [02:00] | to walk through that door. | 第一个相思男 |
| [02:01] | Three girls got proposals off | 有三个女孩穿着我老婆的浪荡洋葱装 |
| [02:04] | my wife’s slutty artichoke costume. | 被人追到求婚 |
| [02:07] | Two others disappeared,but I focus on the positive. | 还有两个失踪了 但我喜欢持乐观态度 |
| [02:10] | I couldn’t believe it. I actually had her address. | 我简直不敢相信 我拿到了她的地址 |
| [02:13] | I knew I had to play this right. | 我知道我不能错过这次机会 |
| [02:15] | It’s not like I could just walk up and knock on her door. | 我可不能找过去直接敲她门 |
| [02:22] | Hi, you probably don’t remember me, but… | 嗨 你可能不记得我了 但 |
| [02:26] | Halloween, ten years ago. | 十年前的万圣节 |
| [02:29] | Now that’s a slow play. | 这可真是个一个漫长的剧集啊 |
| [02:31] | The next day,Lily and Marshall headed out | 第二天 莉莉和马修去 |
| [02:35] | to Lily’s grandparents for dinner. | 莉莉的爷爷奶奶家吃晚饭 |
| [02:37] | Marshall loved it out in the ‘burbs. | 马修特别喜欢郊区 |
| [02:39] | Look how many fireflies I caught! | 看看我捉到多少萤火虫 |
| [02:40] | Don’t forget to poke holes in the jar this time. | 这次别忘了在罐子上面戳几个洞哟 |
| [02:44] | Now we have a nice surprise for you. | 我们给你准备了一个超棒的惊喜 |
| [02:49] | Whatever it is, we’re saying no. | 不管是什么 说不 |
| [02:51] | – What? – You know what. | -什么？ -你知道的 |
| [02:53] | Every time we’re here, | 我们每次来这儿 |
| [02:54] | my grandparents stick us with some big old piece of junk | 我祖父母总塞给咱们 |
| [02:57] | they’re getting rid of. | 一堆他们不想要的大破烂 |
| [02:58] | It’s like the world’s worst Showcase Showdown. | 这简直是最糟糕的竞猜商品展示（参见巴尼参加the Price is Right那一集） |
| [03:01] | It’s a perfectly usable lawnmower! | 超完美的能用的割草机 |
| [03:06] | We live in an apartment! | 我们住在公寓里 |
| [03:08] | But maybe someday | 可能未来的一天 |
| [03:09] | when we move to the suburbs… | 我们会搬到郊区 |
| [03:10] | We’re never moving to the suburbs! | 我们绝不搬到郊区去住 |
| [03:12] | And you also get… | 而且你还能得到 |
| [03:13] | this skinny microphone! | 这支鹅颈麦克风 |
| [03:16] | Oh! | 喔 |
| [03:17] | Before we head out to our place in Florida, | 在我们搬去佛罗里达之前 |
| [03:21] | we wanted to give our favorite granddaughter | 我们想给我们的宝贝孙女 |
| [03:23] | a little something. | 一个小东西 |
| [03:25] | Ooh, it’s so small.I love it! | 噢 真小 我喜欢 |
| [03:29] | – A key? – We’re giving you the house. | -一把钥匙？ -房子归你们啦 |
| [03:32] | Lily, I know you’ve always hated the suburbs… | 莉莉 我知道你一直都不喜欢郊区 |
| [03:36] | We’ll take it! | 我们要啦 |
| [03:38] | NARRATOR: For my first date with the slutty pumpkin, | 我第一次跟浪荡南瓜妹约会的时候 |
| [03:41] | I took her someplace special. | 我带她去了一个特别的地方 |
| [03:43] | Ted, this is so romantic. | 泰德 这真浪漫呀 |
| [03:44] | The spot where we first met | 这是我们十年前 |
| [03:46] | ten years ago. | 第一次相遇的地方 |
| [03:48] | Do you remember the song that was playing that night? | 你还记得那天晚上放的那首歌吗 |
| [03:50] | I remember how beautiful you looked. | 我只记得你当时是多么美丽动人 |
| [03:53] | ? It’s been one week since you looked at me ? | ?你都一周没有看我了? |
| [03:56] | ? Cocked your head to the side and said, “I’m angry.” ? | ?你把头转向一边说“我很生气”? |
| [03:58] | Is that, uh,the Barenaked Ladies, huh? | 那是半裸女人乐队唱的吗 |
| [04:00] | ? Five days since you laughedat me ? | ?你嘲笑了我五天? |
| [04:02] | ? Saying, “Get that together.Come back and see me.” ? | ?说“振作起来，回来见我”? |
| [04:04] | Kids, it took me ten years,but I finally kissed her. | 孩子们 我花了十年的时间才吻到她的双唇 |
| [04:09] | And it was… terrible. | 感觉 糟糕透了 |
| [04:19] | Lily, you hate the suburbs. | 莉莉 你讨厌郊区 |
| [04:21] | I know, but my grandparents giving us a house | 我知道 可我的爷爷奶奶要给我这座房子 |
| [04:23] | right when the baby’s on the way? | 正好是在孩子快要降生的时候 |
| [04:25] | It’s perfect timing. | 这个时机太完美了 |
| [04:26] | This is great.I’m finally gonna be able | 确实很棒 我终于可以 |
| [04:28] | to barbecue with proper ventilation. | 在空气流通的地方烤东西了 |
| [04:32] | Marshall! (coughing) | 马修 |
| [04:34] | We’re moving to the suburbs, baby! | 我们要搬到郊区去了 宝贝 |
| [04:36] | Oh… | 噢 |
| [04:38] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [04:40] | Baby, you’re not moving to the suburbs. | 宝贝 你们不能搬到郊区去 |
| [04:42] | Why not? | 为啥 |
| [04:43] | Lily is only agreeing | 莉莉之所以同意 |
| [04:44] | to all this because of Pregnancy Brain. | 是因为孕妇大脑 |
| [04:46] | Pregnancy Brain? That’s not a thing. | 孕妇大脑 哪有这种事 |
| [04:48] | It’s totally a thing. | 绝对有 |
| [04:50] | Her brain is marinating in a cocktail of hormones, | 她的大脑里面灌满了由荷尔蒙 |
| [04:54] | mood swings and jacked-up nesting instincts. | 喜怒无常和筑巢天性组成的鸡尾酒 |
| [04:57] | I mean, yes, right now Lily is a goddess | 我的意思是 现在莉莉是个 |
| [05:00] | bestowing the miracle of life, | 孕育生命奇迹的女神 |
| [05:02] | but damn, she dumb! | 但是 她也是个笨蛋 |
| [05:04] | Well, I have noticed some stuff. | 好吧 我也注意到一些事情了 |
| [05:08] | I can’t find my keys or wallet anywhere! | 我找不到我的钥匙和钱包了 |
| [05:11] | I found them… | 我找到了 |
| [05:13] | here in the freezer. | 在冰箱里 |
| [05:15] | Hey, but where are the ice cube trays? | 但是冰块格去哪了 |
| [05:17] | No idea. | 不知道 |
| [05:21] | Those poor ice cubes! | 可怜的小冰块啊 |
| [05:25] | I guess she has been a little off lately. | 我觉得她最近有点不在状态 |
| [05:28] | A little? She just texted me | 只是有点吗 她刚刚给我发短信 |
| [05:29] | wanting directions back from the bathroom. | 问要从洗手间回来的方向 |
| [05:32] | Oh. We’re over here! | 噢 我们在这呢 |
| [05:37] | You’re doing great, sweetie! | 你做的很好了 亲 |
| [05:39] | That moron should not be making big life decisions right now. | 那个小呆瓜现在不应该做任何重要的决定 |
| [05:42] | If you let her move to the suburbs, | 要是你让她搬到了郊区 |
| [05:43] | it would be like taking advantage of a helpless drunk chick. | 那就像在占一个喝醉了的妞的便宜 |
| [05:47] | What? Where?! | 什么 在哪 |
| [05:49] | Oh, I got a girlfriend, right. | 我已经有女朋友了 |
| [05:54] | Baby, we should put off moving. | 亲 我们得推迟搬家这事了 |
| [05:56] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [05:57] | Because I think the pregnancy is | 因为我觉得怀孕这事正在 |
| [05:59] | affecting your judgment. | 影响你的判断力 |
| [06:00] | No, Marshall, this is an amazing opportunity | 不是的 马修 这是多么难得的 |
| [06:04] | that we have to take advantage of! | 大便宜啊 |
| [06:07] | Just because my body is growing a fungus… | 我的身体里长了个菌子 |
| [06:09] | Fetus. | 孩子 |
| [06:11] | …doesn’t mean that my metal factories… | 并不意味着我的精神工厂 |
| [06:12] | Metal faculties. | 精神功能 |
| [06:14] | …are in any way funicular. | 有任何的绳子 |
| [06:17] | No idea. | 不知道她在说啥了 |
| [06:24] | This is nice.What is this? | 挺好喝的 这是啥 |
| [06:25] | Canadian whiskey. | 加拿大威士忌 |
| [06:28] | I want scotch! | 我要的是苏格兰威士忌 |
| [06:31] | American scotch from Scotland! | 来自苏格兰的美国威士忌 |
| [06:35] | Get that swill away from me! | 把这个猪食拿远点 |
| [06:41] | Why are you doing this to me? | 你为什么要这样对我 |
| [06:43] | You have been ripping on Canada | 从贾斯丁比伯才有除雪机的一半高的时候 |
| [06:45] | since Justin Bieber was knee-high to a snow blower. | 你就一直在挖苦加拿大 |
| [06:47] | So now this Canuck’s gonna beat on you | 所以现在 我这个加拿大人要像 |
| [06:50] | like the drummer from Yukon Blonde hopped up on Timbits. | 尤康布兰登乐队的鼓手狂踩提姆毕滋牌甜甜圈一样狠狠打击你 （前者为加拿大乐队 后者为加拿大甜甜圈连锁店） |
| [06:53] | – Hey.- Hey! | -嘿 -嘿 |
| [06:55] | How was your big date with the Snuffy Tuffkin? | 你和浪浪南瓜妹的约会怎么样 |
| [06:58] | The Sniffy Napkin? | 荡荡南瓜妹 |
| [06:59] | The Slouchy Foreskin? | 闷闷包皮妹 |
| [07:03] | Lily tie-tie. | 莉莉困困鸟 |
| [07:04] | It was good… ish. | 很 一般 |
| [07:09] | Look, there’s Orion’s Belt. | 看 那是猎户座 |
| [07:11] | Oh. | 噢 |
| [07:13] | Why does holding hands feel this weird? | 为什么握个手感觉这么怪 |
| [07:15] | Should our fingers not intertwine? | 我俩的手指不该绕在一起吗 |
| [07:17] | What’s causing that pinching feeling? | 怎么会这么疼 |
| [07:20] | I’ll just cup her hand. | 我还是握住她的手吧 |
| [07:22] | There. That’s… | 对 这样还 |
| [07:25] | not great. | 不是很好 |
| [07:30] | Her hair’s up my nose. | 她的头发堵住我鼻子了 |
| [07:34] | Her shoulder’s jabbing into my windpipe. | 她的肩膀压到我的气管了 |
| [07:37] | Maybe if we reposition. | 也许我们应该换下位置 |
| [07:44] | I have to say something. | 我得说点什么 |
| [07:45] | She must be feeling it, too. | 她一定也觉得这样不舒服 |
| [07:47] | This feels so right. | 这种感觉太好了 |
| [07:49] | We fit like two puzzle pieces. | 我们像两块拼图一样契合 |
| [07:52] | Yeah. | 对呀 |
| [07:53] | Ted, I know you’ve waited ten years for this girl, | 泰德 我知道你等这个女孩等了十年 |
| [07:56] | but some things just aren’t meant to be. | 但是有些人就是不适合 |
| [07:58] | Not so fast. At the end of the night, | 别急着下定论哟 今晚结束的时候 |
| [08:00] | when I leaned in and somehow accidentally kissed | 当我靠着她 不小心亲到她的眼睛的时候 |
| [08:03] | her open eyeball, there was a slight flicker of something | 有一种微妙的感觉 |
| [08:06] | I might even call chemistry… | 我可以把它叫做 |
| [08:09] | adjacent. | 类似化学效应 |
| [08:12] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [08:13] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [08:16] | Where is my cash? | 我的现金去哪里了 |
| [08:18] | Oh, yeah, | 哦也 |
| [08:19] | I did a little exchange for ya, Canucklehead. | 我给你换了点小零钱 科纳克头儿 （一支加拿大冰球队） |
| [08:22] | This Canadian dollar here is called a “loonie.” | 这个一元硬币在加拿大 叫做“鲁尼” |
| [08:25] | And this two-dollar coin? A “toonie.” True story. | 两元硬币呢 叫做“图尼” 真的哟 |
| [08:30] | It’s federal currency and you people talk about it | 这是联邦货币 你们这些人居然把它叫得像 |
| [08:33] | like it’s a Hannah- Barbera character. | 猫和老鼠里面的角色名称一样（Hannah- Barbera编导了猫和老鼠） |
| [08:35] | Not you people, Barney. | 不是你们 巴尼 |
| [08:38] | Our people. | 是我们 |
| [08:39] | NARRATOR: Even though my first date with Naomi was | 虽然我和娜奥米的第一次约会 |
| [08:42] | a little awkward, | 有一点点怪异 |
| [08:43] | our second date was a lot awkward. | 但我们的第二次约会 更怪异了 |
| [08:45] | Mmm…! | 嗯 |
| [08:46] | This is the worst kissing of all time! | 这真是我有史以来最糟糕的吻了 |
| [08:49] | Mmm… | 嗯 |
| [08:50] | How could she possibly be into this? | 她怎么还能这样投入 |
| [08:53] | She sounds like those cows in | 她的声音听起来就像是 |
| [08:55] | Temple Grandin’s hug machines. | 电影《自闭历程》中在那些压缩机里备受煎熬的牛一样 |
| [08:56] | Do you want to listen to some music? | 想听点音乐么 |
| [08:58] | Uh-huh! | 嗯 |
| [09:06] | Ted, this is our song. | 泰德 这就是我们的歌 |
| [09:07] | Let’s make love to this song. | 让我们在这歌声中爱爱吧 |
| [09:11] | ? Chickety China,the Chinese chicken ? | 国界像公鸡的中国 中国小妞 |
| [09:13] | ? Have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin’ ? | 拿起鼓槌 让我们嗨翻天 |
| [09:15] | Yeah, I just gotta run to the bathroom. | 额 我要先去下洗手间 |
| [09:16] | ? X-Files with no lights on,we’re dans la maison. ? | 关上灯光 看着电视 因为我们在家 |
| [09:22] | Hey, doofus! | 嘿 白痴 |
| [09:23] | It’s me:you at age 15. | 是我 15岁的你 |
| [09:25] | And we made a deal | 我们许下过诺言 |
| [09:26] | we would always boink any chick that wants to boink us! | 我们会和任何自愿的女人滚床单的 |
| [09:29] | Yes, she’s beautiful, | 是的 她很漂亮 |
| [09:31] | it’s just there’s no connection there. | 只是我们没有任何感觉 |
| [09:33] | I don’t feel intimate with her. | 我对她没有任何欲望 |
| [09:35] | “Intimate”? Let me remind you of some things | 欲望 让我来帮你回想一些 |
| [09:36] | you did feel “intimate” with when you were 15: | 你在15岁的时候感到过有欲望的东西 |
| [09:39] | a catcher’s mitt, | 棒球手套 |
| [09:40] | an oven mitt,a glass of warm water, | 烤炉手套 一杯热水 |
| [09:42] | a half-open hide-a-bed sofa,a top-loading VCR! | 一个打开一半的沙发床 一台置顶录像机 |
| [09:46] | It’s not gonna happen! | 这不会再发生了 |
| [09:47] | Come on! | 别这样啊 |
| [09:50] | It’ll take, like, 30 seconds! | 就花30秒就好了啊 |
| [09:55] | Naomi, listen… | 娜奥米 听我说 |
| [09:56] | Shh… | 嘘 |
| [10:02] | You like that, Ted? | 你喜欢这样么 泰德 |
| [10:03] | Hmm. | 嗯 |
| [10:04] | Do you like it when I caress your hair? | 你喜欢我摩挲你的秀发么 |
| [10:08] | Your hair is so nice to caress. | 你的头发摩挲起来真舒服 |
| [10:11] | Why is she saying that word? | 为什么她一定要说这个词 |
| [10:13] | I like to caress your hair. | 我喜欢摩挲你的头发 |
| [10:16] | There it is again! “Caress!” Who says that? | 又来了 摩挲 为什么要说这个 |
| [10:20] | Caress. | 摩 挲 |
| [10:24] | The thing is,I like her, okay? | 事实是 我喜欢她 懂么 |
| [10:26] | I really, really like her. | 我真的真的很喜欢她 |
| [10:28] | I just don’t seem to like anything she says or does. | 我只是不喜欢她说的或做的一切 |
| [10:32] | I have to break up with her, don’t I? | 我得去和她分手不是么 |
| [10:34] | All: Yes! | 是的 |
| [10:35] | After you sleep with her, yes! | 在你睡了她之后再分手 |
| [10:39] | Marshall, I’ve been thinking about what you said. | 马修 我一直在想你说的话 |
| [10:40] | You’re right, we shouldn’t move to the suburbs. | 你是对的 我们不该搬去郊区 |
| [10:43] | Let’s not make any huge life decisions right now. | 我们现在不该做出任何重要的人生决定 |
| [10:46] | Is this because you tried to make waffles | 是因为你今早想用笔记本电脑 |
| [10:48] | with the laptop this morning? | 来做华夫饼么 |
| [10:49] | Anyway, I’m gonna call a real estate broker | 不管怎么说 我马上准备去找个房屋中介 |
| [10:53] | to come look at the house tomorrow. | 明早来看看那房子 |
| [10:54] | Oh, by the way, | 哦 顺便说一句 |
| [10:56] | I ordered those Minnesota Vikings drapes. | 我预定了一些明尼苏达维京窗帘 |
| [10:58] | You’re right, they’re totally gonna class up our apartment. | 你是对的 他们绝对能装点我们的公寓 |
| [11:04] | Okay, yes. It’s wrong to bang a drunk chick. | 你是对的 去搞一个醉酒的妹子是不道德的 |
| [11:07] | But you’re an idiot if you don’t get, like, a little something. | 但如果你对她什么都不做的话 你就是个白痴 |
| [11:13] | Yo, Canada. | 哟 加拿大人 |
| [11:14] | What? Dammit! | 什么 擦嘞 |
| [11:16] | Ha, you answer to “Canada” now. | 哈哈 现在叫你加拿大人你都会有反应了 |
| [11:20] | I’ll make you a deal. | 我跟你打个赌 |
| [11:21] | You wear this costume | 如果你穿了这身打扮 |
| [11:22] | to the Halloween party tomorrow night, | 去了明晚的万圣节派对 |
| [11:24] | I’ll drop it forever. | 我从此以后都不耍你了 |
| [11:29] | You can’t be serious. | 你开玩笑呢吧 |
| [11:31] | Oh, I am as serious as a poutine shortage | 哦 我很严肃 就像是在一场 在加拿大希库蒂米举办 |
| [11:34] | in Chicoutimi during a curling bonspiel. | 的加拿大式冰球比赛中少了 加拿大式的肉汁乳酪薯条一样严肃 |
| [11:37] | I don’t know what any of those words mean. | 你说的我一个字都听不懂 |
| [11:40] | Yes. You do. | 不 你懂的 |
| [11:47] | Oh, that must be the broker. Marshall, will you get it? | 哦 一定是房屋中介 马修 你能去开个门么 |
| [11:50] | Sure. Of course. | 当然 没问题 |
| [11:52] | Trick or treat! | 不给糖就捣蛋 |
| [11:55] | Oh, my gosh. How cute! | 哦 我勒个去 好可爱的小盆友 |
| [11:57] | I’m sorry, we don’t have any candy. | 对不起 我们没有糖果 |
| [11:59] | Um, we forgot about trick-or-treaters. | 额 我们忘了有不给糖就捣蛋这茬儿了 |
| [12:01] | We don’t get any where we live. | 在我们住的地方不需要给糖果 |
| [12:02] | Yup. Only get this kind of cuteness | 是哎 只有在这种郊区 |
| [12:05] | in the suburbs. | 才会遇到你们这些小可爱 |
| [12:08] | Oh. Look at how sweet and happy and unarmed they all are! | 哦 看这些小孩子 多可爱多快乐而且无公害 |
| [12:13] | Are you using adorable little children in costumes | 你是想通过用这些可爱的小盆友 |
| [12:16] | to manipulate me? – Bye! | 来操纵我么 -拜拜 |
| [12:17] | I mean, did you even call a real estate broker? | 我想说 你到底有没有打电话给中介 |
| [12:19] | No. | 没 |
| [12:21] | I’ve got Pregnancy Brain like a fiddle | 我现在有个狡诈的孕期大脑 |
| [12:23] | and I’ve been playing you like a fox. | 而且我像一只狐狸一样在耍你 |
| [12:29] | ? Oh, Canada… ? | 哦 加拿大 |
| [12:35] | ? Our home and native land… ? | 我们的家乡和领土 |
| [12:42] | NARRATOR: I knew it would be tough to break up with Naomi. | 我知道和娜奥米分手会很难 |
| [12:45] | But when it’s just not there, you can’t force it. | 但没有感觉的时候 你不能强求 |
| [12:51] | Happy Halloween. | 万圣节快乐 |
| [12:56] | to the hopeful kid in the hanging chad costume, | 那个挂着选举牌的满怀希望的孩子 |
| [13:00] | falling head over heels for the Slutty Pumpkin. | 完全拜倒在了淫荡南瓜妹的石榴裙下 |
| [13:03] | I made you something. | 我给你做了点东西 |
| [13:08] | – Oh. – Your costume from that first night. | -噢 -我们初次见面的时候你的服装 |
| [13:11] | Although you do realize that even ten years ago, | 虽然你知道即便是在十年前 |
| [13:14] | the hanging chad reference was like almost a year old. | 挂着这个选举牌也让你像个一岁大的小屁孩 |
| [13:16] | (laughs) Wow… | 哇哦 |
| [13:19] | I can’t believe you made this. | 难以置信你这么做了 |
| [13:21] | I can’t believe you found me. | 难以置信你找到我了 |
| [13:23] | TED: Stay strong, Teddy. We can do this. | hold住 泰迪熊 你可以的 |
| [13:26] | I… | 我 |
| [13:28] | “Have to break up with you,” just say it. | 要和你分手 说就是了 |
| [13:31] | Love… Wait, what? | 爱 等等 神马 |
| [13:33] | No, no, no, no, no, no, no! | 不不不 |
| [13:34] | Say sunsets! Pancakes! Anything! | 说落日 薄煎饼 神马都行 |
| [13:36] | Just don’t say… | 就是不要说 |
| [13:38] | You. | 你 |
| [13:39] | No! | 不 |
| [13:46] | Barney? Where are you? | 巴尼 你在哪呢 |
| [13:48] | You’re moving slower than John Diefenbaker | 你比迪芬贝克在节礼日 |
| [13:49] | climbing Mount Hungabee on Boxing Day. | 爬汉戈比山还要慢 |
| [13:52] | Those are all real references to our shared homeland. | 这些在我们共同的祖国确实经常被提到 |
| [13:54] | BARNEY: I’ll be right there. | 我马上来 |
| [13:56] | Can’t wait to see you in your costume, Dudley Do-Right. | 迫不及待想看你穿节日礼服的样子，骑警先生 （Dudley Do-Right是美国动画片里的加拿大骑警） |
| [14:00] | ? Living in America ? | 生活在美国 |
| [14:02] | ? Ow! ? | 噢 |
| [14:03] | ? Eye to eye ? | 一人又一人 |
| [14:05] | ? Station to station ? | 一站又一站 |
| [14:08] | ? Living in America ? | 生活在美国 |
| [14:11] | ? Hand in hand ? | 手牵手 |
| [14:14] | ? Across the nation ? | 跨越国境 |
| [14:16] | ? Living in America ? | 生活在美国 |
| [14:20] | ? Got to have a celebration ? | 必须庆祝一下 |
| [14:24] | ? Rock my soul ? | 震撼我的灵魂 |
| [14:27] | ? Ow! ? | 噢 |
| [14:30] | If we move here, you’re just going to have that baby, | 如果我们搬来这里 你生了孩子 |
| [14:32] | and then you’re going to hate me | 然后你就会开始恨我 |
| [14:34] | for letting you do this. I’m going to love it here. | 因为我让你这么做了 我会喜欢这的 |
| [14:36] | Oh, we’d have so much room in the suburbs. | 噢 在郊区我们会有很多的空间 |
| [14:40] | You can get that pinball machine you’ve always wanted. | 你可以得到你一直想要的弹球机 |
| [14:44] | You can put it anywhere you want. | 你把它放在哪儿都行 |
| [14:47] | Stop it. You don’t know what you’re saying. | 行了 你根本不知道你在说什么 |
| [14:50] | Anywhere. | 放哪儿都行 |
| [14:51] | Upstairs, downstairs… | 楼上 楼下 |
| [14:55] | you can stick it in the back. | 你可以把它固定在后面 |
| [14:58] | Lily, I want to be inside this house so bad. | 莉莉 我特别想住在这个房子里 |
| [15:01] | USA! USA! | 美利坚 美利坚 |
| [15:04] | USA! | 美利坚 |
| [15:06] | Come on! | 来吧 |
| [15:07] | Okay, so rather than wearing a Mountie costume | 好吧 那么比起穿上加拿大骑警的服装 |
| [15:09] | and end this forever, | 让我永远不提这事 |
| [15:11] | you show up shirtless to an outdoor party? | 你宁愿光膀子参加一个露天派对 |
| [15:13] | It’s practically November. | 这可是十一月 |
| [15:14] | No biggie. I ain’t cold. | 没什么大不了的 我不冷 |
| [15:16] | Huh. Interesting. | 额 有意思 |
| [15:18] | It’s fascinating. | 挺好玩的 |
| [15:20] | Almost as if your body was accustomed to low temperatures | 就好像经过无数代的进化之后 |
| [15:23] | after generations of adapting. | 你的身体还是适应于低温 |
| [15:26] | (whispering): Canada. | 加拿大 |
| [15:27] | No. | 不 |
| [15:29] | Guys, hey. Robin, Barney, this is Naomi. | 伙计们 嘿 罗宾 巴尼 这是娜奥米 |
| [15:31] | – Hey.- Hey. | -嘿 -嘿 |
| [15:33] | Nice to meet you guys. | 很高兴认识你们 |
| [15:35] | I’m gonna go make some Tootsie Rolls. It’s a drink I invented. | 我要去做一些甜心酒 我发明的 |
| [15:39] | There’s a song and dance | 我还给它配了歌舞 |
| [15:40] | that goes along with it, but I have to | 但在表演之前 |
| [15:41] | drink three of them before I can do it. | 我必须喝上三杯 |
| [15:45] | Oh. Okay. You go. | 噢 好 你去吧 |
| [15:46] | This way. | 这边 |
| [15:50] | Sounds delicious. In theory. | 理论上听起来不错 |
| [15:53] | But you never know until you taste it. | 但是你不尝尝是不会知道的 |
| [15:55] | Ted… have you tasted her Tootsie Roll? | 泰德 你尝了她的甜心酒吗 |
| [15:59] | Of course not. | 当然没有 |
| [16:00] | – Ow. – Wait. Have you? | -噢 -等会 你尝了没 |
| [16:05] | You had sex with someone you have zero feelings for! | 你跟一个毫无感觉的人上床了 |
| [16:07] | U-S-A! | 美利坚 |
| [16:09] | U-S… | 美利 |
| [16:10] | Stop it. | 够了 |
| [16:12] | Just no part of it felt right. | 哪儿都感觉不对 |
| [16:14] | At first there was too much eye contact, then not enough. | 一开始眼神交流太多了 后来又不够了 |
| [16:16] | Where do you look during sex? | 你俩做爱的时候你在看哪 |
| [16:18] | Um, into the hidden camera at future me watching it. | 额 在看一个藏起来的摄像机以后我可以看录像 |
| [16:23] | Okay. Wait. How does | 好吧 等等 |
| [16:24] | saying “I want to break up with you” lead into sex? | “我想和你分手”这句话 是如何导致你俩上床的 |
| [16:26] | I didn’t say “I want to break up with you,” exactly. | 其实我没有说 我想和你分手 |
| [16:29] | What did you say, exactly? | 实际上你说什么了 |
| [16:33] | “I love you.” | 我爱你 |
| [16:34] | Classic Schmosby. | 经典莫湿比 |
| [16:38] | Marshall, this house wants you so bad. | 马修 这房子想你想疯了 |
| [16:42] | “Mow my lawn. | 修剪我的草坪 |
| [16:45] | “Rake my leaves. | 打扫我的落叶 |
| [16:46] | Winterize my pipes”” | 过冬之前检查我的管道 |
| [16:48] | Yes! | 好 |
| [16:49] | Yes! I’m coming… | 好 我 |
| [16:51] | to terms with this decision! | 同意这个决定 |
| [16:53] | (doorbell rings)Oh! | 噢 |
| [16:55] | Trick or treat! | 不给糖就捣蛋 |
| [16:57] | Yay! | 耶 |
| [16:57] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [17:00] | Oh. | 噢 |
| [17:03] | Happy Halloween. | 万圣节快乐 |
| [17:06] | – Lily. – Yeah? | -莉莉 -肿么了 |
| [17:09] | You just gave those children | 你刚刚给了那些孩子 |
| [17:10] | a stapler,a pair of sharp scissors, | 一个订书机 一把锋利的剪刀 |
| [17:13] | and a pretty decent Pinot Noir. | 以及一瓶超好的黑比诺葡萄酒 |
| [17:16] | I did? | 不是吧 |
| [17:18] | Oh, my God. | 噢 额滴神 |
| [17:20] | I’m going to miss that stapler so much. | 我会非常想念那个订书机的 |
| [17:26] | I’m not doing so great, am I? | 我是不是不在状态 |
| [17:29] | Maybe not. | 有点 |
| [17:33] | We shouldn’t make any huge life decisions | 我们是不是不应该在现在 |
| [17:36] | right now, should we? | 做任何重要的人生决定 对吧 |
| [17:38] | Hey, look, I love you and I-I love the idea of raising | 嘿 听着 我爱你 我也很想在有草坪和白色栅栏的地方 |
| [17:43] | our kids with a lawn and a white picket fence, | 抚养我们的孩子 |
| [17:45] | but we have our whole lives to decide when | 但是我们有一生的时间来决定 |
| [17:47] | and if we want to do that. | 什么时候以及我们是否要这样做 |
| [17:49] | Do what? | 做啥 |
| [17:52] | Let’s get you home. | 我们回家吧 |
| [17:59] | Ooh. | 噢 |
| [18:01] | That’s for the stapler! | 这是你给我们订书机的代价 |
| [18:04] | I hate the suburbs. | 我讨厌郊区 |
| [18:09] | Naomi… | 娜奥米 |
| [18:10] | We have to end this. | 我们得分手了 |
| [18:12] | W– huh? | 啥 |
| [18:13] | I’m sorry, Tootsie Rolls make me | 抱歉 甜心酒让我 |
| [18:15] | really honest. | 想说实话 |
| [18:17] | Ted… I know you’re super into me. | 泰德 我知道你超级喜欢我 |
| [18:23] | But we are terrible together. | 但是我们非常的不适合 |
| [18:24] | Wait, what? | 等等 什么 |
| [18:26] | I’ve been trying, saying things felt good that didn’t just to… | 我一直在试着说些让人感觉好的事情 但是并没有 |
| [18:32] | I thought saying it was good would make it feel good, but… | 我以为说感觉对了就会使我们真的感觉对了 但是 |
| [18:37] | …it always felt off. | 感觉还是不对 |
| [18:42] | NAOMI: Why won’t he stop sniffing my hair? | 为什么他总是在嗅我得头发 |
| [18:45] | And what’s up with the hand holding? | 这个手怎么牵成这样了 |
| [18:46] | It’s like he’s trying to win a thumb war. | 就像他在比扳拇指大赛一样 |
| [18:50] | Ted, this is our song. | 泰德 这是我们的歌 |
| [18:53] | Oh, no, he thinks I’m actually into this song. | 噢 不 他该不会真以为我喜欢这首歌吧 |
| [18:56] | Does he not get sarcasm? | 他没能体会到反讽的意味吗 |
| [18:58] | Let’s make love to this song. | 让我们来跟着这首歌爱爱吧 |
| [19:01] | I’ll just be even more ridiculous | 我要做得再过一点 |
| [19:02] | to make it clear it’s a joke. | 让他明白这是个玩笑 |
| [19:04] | ? Chickety-China, the Chinese chicken… ? | 国界像公鸡的中国 中国小妞 |
| [19:06] | I… | 我 |
| [19:08] | Uh-oh, where you going with this, buddy? | 啊噢 你打算干啥呢 哥们 |
| [19:10] | …love… | 爱 |
| [19:11] | Nope, too soon. | 不是吧 太快了点吧 |
| [19:12] | Say basset hounds,Pretzel Crisps, anything but… | 接着说 巴吉度猎犬 椒盐脆饼 只要不是 |
| [19:14] | …you. | 你 |
| [19:16] | Oh, God, just kiss him before he proposes. | 额滴神 赶紧用亲亲来阻止他求婚吧 |
| [19:21] | Ted, I’ve been looking for the Hot Hanging Chad | 泰德 我在过去的九个万圣节里 |
| [19:23] | for the last nine Halloweens. | 一直在找那个性感的选举牌 |
| [19:25] | I’ve waded through a sweaty parade | 我费力的穿过 |
| [19:27] | of Big Lebowskis, Harry Potters, | 由巨大的勒巴斯基、哈利波特 |
| [19:30] | Antoine Dodsons, and that jackass | 安东尼 都德森和那个总是打扮得 |
| [19:32] | who always dresses as laundry. | 像个洗衣袋的呆瓜组成的游行队伍 |
| [19:33] | Oh, I hate that guy. | 我讨厌那个人 |
| [19:35] | That’s why,once I finally found you… | 那就是为什么一旦我找到了你 |
| [19:38] | …it was hard to let you go. | 和你分手这件事就变得很困难了 |
| [19:43] | Good-bye, Ted. | 再见了 泰德 |
| [19:48] | Let’s just not touch ever again. | 我们还是不要再有任何的肢体接触吧 |
| [19:51] | Probably a good idea, yeah. | 可能是个好主意 |
| [19:52] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [19:54] | Kids, after spending a decade dreaming of the wrong girl, | 孩纸们 在用十年的时间幻想了一个错误的女孩之后 |
| [19:57] | I wanted more than ever for the next woman I met | 我非常渴望遇到的下一个人 |
| [20:00] | to be the real thing. | 会是我的真命天女 |
| [20:04] | Yeah, I don’t know, Barney,she doesn’t seem like my type. | 我不知道 巴尼 她不太像是我喜欢的那一型 |
| [20:08] | I will kill you. | 我要杀了你 |
| [20:11] | I’ll see what I can do. | 试试看吧 |
| [20:34] | (Canadian accent): Oh, hey there, I’m Barney, how are you? | （加拿大口音）嗨 我是巴尼 你好吗 |
| [20:37] | No, I’m Barney. | 不 我才是巴尼 |
| [20:44] | You pack quite a wallop there. | 你下手还真狠 |
| [20:45] | Hope you didn’t hurt your hand. | 希望你没弄伤自个的手 |
| [20:47] | Why are you so nice? | 你为什么这么善良 |
| [20:52] | Oh, sorry about my thick noodle there. | 真抱歉 我的头太硬了点 |
| [20:54] | How about we split the cost of the vase, eh? | 要不我们分摊这个花瓶的费用 |
| [20:56] | Holy Zamboni. | 妈妈个咪哟 |
| [20:59] | Wow, you really put your weight behind that one. | 哇 你真是用全力在打呀 |
| [21:01] | That was a really good one. | 真是太厉害了 |
| [21:02] | Oh, heavens to Gretzky, that was a real Chiclet rattler. | 亲娘咧 真是和之前一样厉害的一拳 |
| [21:04] | == sync, corrected by elderman == |