| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | 周六\N晚上8点\N \N | |
| [00:02] | 婚礼前22小时 | |
| [00:04] | “Let’s get this party started.” | “接下来就是见证奇迹的时刻” |
| [00:08] | Hey, can you push the button? | 嘿 麻烦按一下那个按钮好吗 |
| [00:09] | Do not touch that button. | 不要动那个按钮 |
| [00:11] | -Just give it a little push. -Don’t push it. | -就小小的按一下下 -不要按 |
| [00:13] | -Just push it a little. -Don’t listen to him. | -就轻轻的按一下 -别听他的 |
| [00:14] | -Half of it, halfway, halfway… -Don’t even touch it. | -就按下去一丢丢 按一半 一半 -碰都不要碰那个按钮 |
| [00:16] | Why can’t I push the button? | 为什么不让我碰这按钮 |
| [00:17] | Because whenever Barney sees a button– any button– | 因为无论什么时候 只要巴尼看到一个按钮 只要是个按钮 |
| [00:19] | He has to push it. | 他都要去按 |
| [00:23] | Sorry. | 抱歉啊 |
| [00:25] | Why are you so mad? | 你怎么这么火大 |
| [00:27] | Because my rehearsal dinner | 因为我婚礼的预演晚宴呢 |
| [00:29] | was supposed to start ten minutes ago. | 十分钟之前就该开始了 |
| [00:31] | But instead of stuffing my face | 这会儿我本来应该头也不抬的啃着 |
| [00:33] | with hors d’oeuvres | 餐前的法式小点心 |
| [00:35] | that I have been dreaming about for months, | 我已经期待了好几个月的小点心啊 |
| [00:37] | I am in a laser tag | 而现在怎么样 我在真人激光枪的 |
| [00:39] | security office, | 保安办公室里面 |
| [00:41] | waiting for the police to arrest my fiance | 等着警察来逮捕我的未婚夫 |
| [00:44] | for causing a disturbance. | 因为他引起了一场骚乱 |
| [00:46] | Hey, you said “Fiance” | 嘿 你叫我”未婚夫”了耶 |
| [00:47] | That’s a good sign. | 真好 |
| [00:49] | Now what do you say we give that old button a push? | 现在我们按按那按钮 你说怎么样啊 |
| [00:50] | Take a good look at this face, Barney, okay? | 仔细看看这张脸 巴尼 好吗 |
| [00:53] | ‘Cause it’ll be useful for the future. | 好好记住 警钟长鸣 |
| [00:56] | This is my “Pretty mad” Face. | 这就是我”火冒三丈”的表情 |
| [00:58] | Well, then, we’ve got a problem. | 呃 那好吧 这下我们有麻烦了 |
| [01:00] | ‘Cause it looks a lot like your “Pretty hungry” Face. | 因为它看上去和”好饿哦”表情惊人的相似啊 |
| [01:03] | I’m missing the bacon-wrapped figs! | 我的无花果培根卷吃不上了啊 |
| [01:05] | Please push the button! | 按一下那个按钮求你啦 |
| [01:19] | Why is it so cold in here? | 这里怎么这么冷啊 |
| [01:21] | You trying to get me to talk or something? | 你们是想冻得我逼供还是怎样 |
| [01:23] | Not really. | 没这个意思 |
| [01:24] | In fact, if you could just sit there quietly… | 实际上 如果你能好好坐在那里保持安静… |
| [01:26] | Fine, I’ll talk. | 好吧 我全招了 |
| [01:27] | It all started a few months ago, | 一切都要追溯到几个月前 |
| [01:29] | when I had the most awesome idea ever. | 我想出了史上最棒的主意 没有之一 |
| [01:32] | Laser tag rehearsal dinner! | 真人激光枪预演晚宴 |
| [01:32] | 几个月之前 | |
| [01:35] | That might be the worst idea you’ve ever had, | 这简直是你史上最烂的主意了 没有之一 |
| [01:37] | which is saying a lot. | 而且你的馊主意可不少 |
| [01:38] | Name one bad idea I’ve ever had. | 你们倒是说出一个我出过的馊主意 |
| [01:41] | Gluten-free edible panties. | 不含谷蛋白的可食用内裤 |
| [01:43] | Hot dog on a stick on a bun. | 面包夹着热狗插根棍 |
| [01:44] | Inflatable sex toy life raft. | 可充气性爱玩具救生艇 |
| [01:45] | The breast augmentation channel. | 隆胸手术频道 |
| [01:47] | Single malt Scotch tape. | 纯麦芽威士忌卷 |
| [01:49] | The time you ran for mayor. | 还有你去竞选市长那次 |
| [01:50] | I still have 12,000 buttons that say, | 还有12000个纽扣上面写着 |
| [01:51] | “The only poll I care about is in my pants.” | “我只在乎我裤子里的那一票” |
| [01:54] | Barney, planning a wedding | 巴尼 策划婚礼 |
| [01:56] | is all about compromise. | 需要两个人不停地妥协 |
| [01:57] | Do you remember that one night, | 你还记不记得那天晚上 |
| [01:59] | right after we got engaged? | 就在我们订婚不久之后 |
| [02:00] | Where is this wedding gonna be, anyway? | 到底要在哪里举行婚礼呢 |
| [02:00] | 四个月前 | |
| [02:02] | You know, I thought it might be nice to get married in Canada | 要我说啊 在加拿大举行婚礼倒是挺不错的 |
| [02:05] | I mean, it’s where I’m from, and… | 我是说 毕竟我是在那长大的 而且… |
| [02:08] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [02:09] | Let’s have it. Get it over with, | 有什么就说吧 |
| [02:11] | get it all out of your system. | 尽情吐槽吧 别把你们憋坏了 |
| [02:12] | I’m the groom, | 我是新郎 |
| [02:13] | I’m the groom, I might as well start. | 我是新郎 让我先来 |
| [02:14] | Canada? What, are we gonna | 去加拿大 怎么 |
| [02:16] | walk down the aisle to Crash Test Dummies? | 我们是要伴着实验碰撞假人的歌走上红毯吗 |
| [02:16] | 实验碰撞假人 加拿大摇滚乐队 | |
| [02:18] | Play’s to Marshall. | 下一棒 马修 |
| [02:19] | Canada? What are you gonna do, | 加拿大 我们要去干什么 |
| [02:21] | hire a regular dog sled or a stretch? | 是租一架普通的狗拉雪橇呢 还是要可伸缩雪橇呢 |
| [02:24] | Canada? | 加拿大 |
| [02:25] | Are you registered at Tim Hortons? | 你们是在提姆•霍顿登记结婚的吗 |
| [02:25] | 提姆•霍顿 加拿大最大的咖啡连锁店 | |
| [02:26] | Canada. | 加拿大 |
| [02:27] | Oh, does the organist play | 是不是风琴手要戴着 |
| [02:29] | wearing mittens? | 连指手套弹风琴啊 |
| [02:30] | Canada? How are you gonna | 加拿大 新娘子带着连指手套 |
| [02:32] | slip the ring on the bride’s finger if she’s wearing mittens? | 要怎么要才能把戒指戴在指头上啊 |
| [02:35] | Two mitten jokes in a row? | 连续吐槽连指手套两次 |
| [02:37] | So… you’re pretty much done, then? | 看来 你们的梗快要用完了吗 |
| [02:39] | Kids, we weren’t even close. | 孩子们 疯狂大吐槽才刚刚开始 |
| [02:41] | Canada. | 加拿大 |
| [02:42] | What do we ask on the wedding invitation? | 婚礼请柬上要怎么写呢 |
| [02:44] | “Will you be having the elk or the moose?” | “请问想吃麋鹿还是驼鹿” |
| [02:47] | Canada. | 加拿大 |
| [02:48] | What, are you gonna walk down the aisle | 怎么 你们要穿什么走红毯 |
| [02:50] | wearing snowshoes?! | 雪鞋吗 |
| [02:52] | Canada. | 加拿大 |
| [02:53] | What, is everyone gonna have access to universal healthcare | 怎么 是不是宾客们过去都要买个临时医疗保险 |
| [02:53] | 吐槽游客去加拿大要买临时医疗保险获得医保 | |
| [02:55] | so no one has to choose between going bankrupt | 省的万一有人还要担心万一得了什么重病 |
| [02:58] | and treating a life-threatening illness? | 就得倾家荡产了吗 |
| [03:00] | Canada? | 加拿大 |
| [03:01] | W-What’s the band gonna play for your first dance? | 你们跳第一支舞的时候 乐队要奏什么呢 |
| [03:03] | Crash Test Dummies? | 实验碰撞假人吗 |
| [03:05] | See, it’s funny | 知道吗 笑点在于 |
| [03:06] | ’cause who gets a band? | 哪有人会在婚礼上请乐队啊 |
| [03:06] | OMG 这应该是泰德一直反对罗宾婚礼请乐队的梗又重现了吧 | |
| [03:08] | Enough. It was just an idea. | 够了 这只是灵光一闪而已 |
| [03:10] | Okay, okay. | 好了 好了 |
| [03:11] | Seriously, Robin, doing it here in New York | 认真的说 罗宾 在纽约办婚礼更简单可行一些 |
| [03:12] | would be easier, since all of our friends | 因为我们所有的朋友 |
| [03:14] | and a lot of our family are here. | 还有我们好多家人都在这呢 |
| [03:16] | But… I want you to have the wedding that you want. | 但是… 我希望这场婚礼能如你所愿 |
| [03:20] | So if it’s Canada… | 所以 如果你真的想去加拿大 |
| [03:21] | just say the word. | 那就说出来吧 |
| [03:24] | And then say it again in French. | 然后再用法语说一遍 |
| [03:24] | 吐槽加拿大的官方语言为英语和法语两种 | |
| [03:27] | See? I compromised. | 看 我都做出让步了 |
| [03:29] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [03:31] | We’ll just have a nice, tasteful rehearsal dinner. | 那我们就办一场高端 上档次的预演晚宴吧 |
| [03:33] | Maybe at a French restaurant. | 不如选个法国餐厅怎么样 |
| [03:36] | I know just the place. | 我正好知道个好地方 |
| [03:37] | What’s the name of the restaurant? | 你知道的餐厅叫什么名字啊 |
| [03:39] | La… ser tag. | 激 光枪大战 |
| [03:43] | You know, I was thinking about | 我一直在想 |
| [03:45] | what to get you guys for a wedding gift. | 你们结婚的时候 我要送你们什么礼物 |
| [03:47] | As you know, | 你们知道的 |
| [03:48] | I’m kind of the wedding gift master. | 哥可是传说中的”结婚礼物大师” |
| [03:51] | And, well, all this talk of the rehearsal dinner | 而且 现在正一直讨论着的预演晚宴 |
| [03:53] | gives me a fantastic idea. | 给了我一个超赞的点子 |
| [03:55] | I’ve been meaning | 我一直都想 |
| [03:56] | to start taking piano lessons again. | 再去上钢琴课来着 |
| [03:58] | No. | 不行 |
| [03:59] | -No piano time. -Guys! | -没时间让你弹钢琴 -求你们了 |
| [04:00] | Just let me perform something. | 就让我表演点什么吧 |
| [04:02] | I’ll-I’ll tickle the keys. | 我会…我会弹得天花乱坠 |
| [04:03] | It’ll be great. | 效果一定精彩绝伦 |
| [04:04] | Not even if you dressed up as Liberace. | 就算你穿成李伯拉斯的样子都不行 |
| [04:04] | Liberace 美国20世纪五六十年代著名艺人和钢琴家 | |
| [04:06] | What if I dressed up as Liberace? | 我要是真穿成李伯拉斯那样儿呢 |
| [04:08] | -Sold! -Sold. | -成交 -成交 |
| [04:10] | And that was the end of it. | 然后 就没有然后了 |
| [04:12] | Until my bachelor party. | 直到我的单身派对 |
| [04:14] | Uh-oh. | 啧啧 |
| [04:15] | Let me guess: | 我猜猜看 |
| [04:16] | there was a stripper. | 派对上肯定有个脱衣舞娘 |
| [04:18] | You had a little fun. | 你玩儿得挺美 |
| [04:20] | Maybe took some ill-advised pictures. | 备不住还禁不住怂恿 拍了几张少儿不宜的照片 |
| [04:22] | Next thing you know, | 然后紧接着 |
| [04:23] | she’s blackmailing you into bankruptcy, | 她就开始以此要挟勒索你 直到你几近破产 |
| [04:25] | and your medical degree’s hanging on the wall | 你的医学学位就得挂在 |
| [04:27] | of a laser tag security office! | 某真人激光枪游戏厅保安部的墙上 |
| [04:30] | No. | 没有啊 |
| [04:32] | The night of my bachelor party, my friends took me | 我单身派对那晚 我的哥们儿们把我带到了 |
| [04:34] | to a crappy hotel, | 一个屎到爆的破旅馆 |
| [04:36] | hired my ex-fiancée to be the stripper, | 把我前未婚妻请来当脱衣舞娘 |
| [04:37] | I lost thousands of dollars, and my best friend | 我输了好几千块钱 而我最好的朋友 |
| [04:39] | even had his hand cut off. | 连手都被人砍了 |
| [04:40] | It would’ve been | 这本会是我人生中 |
| [04:41] | the worst night of all time | 最糟糕的一个晚上 |
| [04:43] | if the whole thing hadn’t been | 但这一切 都只是我 |
| [04:44] | a prank planned by | 既有美丽又有魅力的未婚妻 |
| [04:45] | my beautiful, amazing fiancee. | 一手策划的充满惊喜的恶作剧 |
| [04:47] | She put me through hell just to give me the best | 她让我跌落地狱 就是为了让我 |
| [04:49] | surprise of my life…which, p.S.,included an appearance | 拥有人生中最棒的惊喜 这里面还包括了 |
| [04:52] | by my favorite actor– | 我最喜欢的演员的出场 |
| [04:53] | non-porn category. | 不属于A片范畴的 |
| [04:55] | Wow, that sounds pretty cool. | 哇 听起来挺酷的 |
| [04:57] | Yeah. Except pretty not cool, | 可不是嘛 唯一不酷的就是 |
| [04:59] | because he kept talking about how he was gonna get me back, | 这个人嘴上一直说什么会再回敬我一个 |
| [05:01] | and sure enough, a few days later… | 然后 就在派对几天后 还真就… |
| [05:04] | Robin, there’s no good way to say this. | 罗宾 有些话我真的不知道该怎么跟你说 |
| [05:07] | I’ve made a huge mistake. | 我犯了一个天大的错误 |
| [05:09] | I can’t go through with the wedding. | 这婚我没法结了 |
| [05:10] | What? | 你说什么 |
| [05:12] | I’m so sorry. | 真的非常对不起 |
| [05:13] | I-I just… I had to tell you | 只是 我…我必须在 |
| [05:15] | before it was too late. | 一切再也无可挽回之前告诉你 |
| [05:18] | Oh, my God, you’re serious. | 天啊 你是认真的吗 |
| [05:19] | Yeah. | 是 |
| [05:21] | And since this is my apartment, | 而且这里是我的公寓 |
| [05:23] | I think that you should move out. | 所以 我觉得你应该搬出去了 |
| [05:28] | Fine. | 行啊 |
| [05:31] | Puppies! | 狗狗 |
| [05:36] | I know. Great prank, right? | 我知道 超棒的恶作剧 是不 |
| [05:38] | That is awful. | 简直糟糕透顶 |
| [05:40] | You’re a frickin’ weirdo. | 你丫绝壁是个怪胎 |
| [05:41] | Such a weirdo. | 妥妥儿的怪胎 |
| [05:44] | Careful, watch the robe. | 小心点 别弄脏了袍子 |
| [05:46] | Anyway, | 但是吧 |
| [05:47] | for reasons only you guys and Robin | 因为某些只有你们和罗宾能理解 |
| [05:49] | but nobody normal like me would understand, | 而像我这样的正常人所不能理解的原因 |
| [05:51] | she got cranky. | 罗宾变得超暴躁 |
| [05:53] | And she laid down the law. | 然后立下规矩 |
| [05:55] | No more surprises. | 不许再搞惊喜 |
| [05:56] | But you love surprises. | 但是你明明爱死惊喜了嘛 |
| [05:58] | Almost as much as I love lickin’ myself! | 你爱惊喜就跟我爱舔自己一样 |
| [06:01] | That was me talking, not the puppy. | 这话是我说的 不是狗狗说的 |
| [06:03] | Barney, the surprises are out of hand | 巴尼 惊喜这东西很难收场的 |
| [06:04] | and they have to stop. | 不能再搞惊喜了 |
| [06:05] | -Deal? -But… | -行吗 -但是… |
| [06:06] | -Deal? -But… | -行吗 -但是… |
| [06:07] | -Deal. -Butt… | -行吗 -屁屁… |
| [06:10] | Barney… | 巴尼 |
| [06:10] | Fine. | 好啦 |
| [06:13] | deal还同时有小弟弟的意思 | |
| [06:13] | Deal. | 哦了 |
| [06:15] | Man. | 老天 |
| [06:16] | This whole “No more surprises” thing | 这个”不许再搞惊喜”的规矩 |
| [06:18] | is so unfair. | 太不公平了 |
| [06:20] | Who does that? | 谁会这么干啊 |
| [06:21] | Barney, the “No more surprises” thing | 巴尼 “不再有惊喜” |
| [06:23] | is the best part of being married. | 是婚姻中最好的部分 |
| [06:25] | It’s true. When I wake up in the morning, | 真的 每天早晨我醒来的时候 |
| [06:26] | I know what Lily’s breath is gonna smell like. | 我连莉莉的呼吸是什么味道的都能一清二楚 |
| [06:29] | It’s like… roses. | 她的呼吸 就像玫瑰一样香甜 |
| [06:31] | Do you really want a marriage | 难道你真的希望在你和罗宾婚后的生活里 |
| [06:33] | where you have this paranoia | 你每天都需要琢磨 |
| [06:34] | that Robin’s hiding around every corner, | 罗宾有没有偷偷摸摸的 |
| [06:36] | planning to get you back with some crazy new prank? | 搞些什么新恶作剧来回敬你吗 |
| [06:38] | You’re absolutely right. | 你说的一点错都没有 |
| [06:40] | Thank you, Lily. | 谢谢你 莉莉 |
| [06:41] | No, th… that was me, over here. | 不对 那…是我说的 我在这儿呢 |
| [06:43] | He wasn’t listening. | 他根本没在听 |
| [06:44] | If you guys are saying | 如果你们想告诉我的… |
| [06:45] | what I think you’re saying… | 就是你们刚才说的 |
| [06:46] | Probably not. Go on. | 非常有可能不是 你继续说 |
| [06:48] | …then that must mean… | …那你们一定就是说… |
| [06:49] | No, it doesn’t. | 不是 我们没那个意思 |
| [06:50] | …that Robin is planning a surprise | …罗宾在为我策划一个 |
| [06:52] | laser tag rehearsal dinner! | 真人激光枪惊喜预演晚宴 |
| [06:56] | Dude, Robin is not planning | 伙计 罗宾根本没有在策划 |
| [06:59] | a surprise laser tag rehearsal dinner. | 什么真人激光枪惊喜预演晚宴好嘛 |
| [07:01] | Yes, she is. | 不对 她有 |
| [07:02] | -No, she isn’t. -Yes, she is. | -不 她没有 -不 她肯定有 |
| [07:04] | No, I’m not! | 不 我才没有 |
| [07:05] | Yes, she is. | 不 她有的 |
| [07:06] | No, she isn’t. | 不 她没有 |
| [07:08] | Then why did she pretend | 那她又是为什么 |
| [07:10] | to ridicule it as an idiotic idea? | 装作在嘲笑这主意有多傻呢 |
| [07:12] | Because it is an idiotic idea. | 因为这主意本来就傻透了 |
| [07:15] | If Robin actually was | 如果罗宾真的 |
| [07:17] | planning a surprise, | 在策划什么惊喜 |
| [07:18] | don’t you think she would tell her maid of honor? | 她至少会告诉她的首席伴娘吧 |
| [07:21] | She didn’t tell you ’cause you can keep a secret | 她没告诉你你因为你根本守不住秘密 |
| [07:22] | the way my dentist keeps his car keys. | 就像我的牙医总丢车钥匙 |
| [07:26] | You don’t know him, but he’s lost them… | 你们不认识他啊 不过他确实总弄丢 |
| [07:29] | like, twice. | 两次呢 |
| [07:30] | Actually, just once, and… | 其实是 只有一次是丢的 |
| [07:31] | that time they were in his other pocket. | 另一次是放另一个口袋里了 |
| [07:34] | I can’t keep a secret? | 我守不住秘密吗 |
| [07:36] | He does have a point, Lily. | 他说的有道理 莉莉 |
| [07:37] | You’re kind of famous for the old blabbity-blabbity. | 你在大嘴跑风方面已经非常有名了 |
| [07:39] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [07:40] | How was lunch with Debbie? | 和黛比的午餐如何 |
| [07:41] | Great. She’s pregnant! | 好极 她怀孕了 |
| [07:43] | Oops. | 呜 |
| [07:44] | I’m not supposed to tell anybody. Why not? | 我不该告诉别人的 |
| [07:46] | Because she’s getting a divorce. | 因为她正在打离婚 |
| [07:47] | Damn it! | 妈蛋 |
| [07:48] | Debbie’s getting a divorce? | 黛比正闹离婚 |
| [07:50] | Yeah, she walked in on her husband having sex. | 嗯 她把她老公捉奸在床了 |
| [07:52] | Oh! Come on, Lily. | 搞毛啊 莉莉 |
| [07:54] | Well, maybe we don’t need to know every gory… | 呃 也不用什么细节都说出来吧 |
| [07:55] | With a man. | 还是和一个男的 |
| [07:56] | Will you get it together, Aldrin?! | 你就不能闭嘴嘛 艾尔德林女士 |
| [07:59] | You okay, Lily? | 你没事吧 莉莉 |
| [08:00] | And that guy’s the father of the baby. | 而那个男人正是搞大黛比肚子的 |
| [08:00] | 贵圈 真乱 | |
| [08:03] | I gotta go lie down. | 我回去躺一会 |
| [08:06] | Which brings us to earlier today, | 于是就到今天早些时候 |
| [08:08] | when Robin was setting up the decoy rehearsal dinner, | 罗宾在布置假的预演晚宴时 |
| [08:11] | complete with fake booze. | 连酒都是假的 |
| [08:13] | 预演晚宴前一小时 | |
| [08:15] | Trying to pass this off as Scotch, | 把这个当威士忌蒙混过去啊 |
| [08:17] | and we all know it’s apple juice. | 我们都知道这其实是苹果汁 |
| [08:25] | Typical apple juice burn. | 喝苹果汁呛嗓子了 |
| [08:29] | Yes, Barney, the booze is real. | 没错 巴尼 这酒是真的 |
| [08:31] | The food is real. | 吃的也是真的 |
| [08:32] | Ooh, speaking of which, where are the bacon-wrapped figs? | 哦 说到吃的 无花果培根卷在哪儿呢 |
| [08:34] | Probably at… | 大概在 |
| [08:36] | …the laser tag place, | 真人激光枪游戏厅了吧 |
| [08:37] | where the real rehearsal dinner’s going down. | 那儿不才是真正的预演晚宴举办的地方么 |
| [08:40] | Isn’t that right, Theodore? | 是不是这样 西奥多 |
| [08:43] | Barney, there is no laser tag. | 巴尼 没有什么真人激光枪 |
| [08:45] | We’re gonna have a nice dinner, | 咱们就在这儿好好吃顿饭 |
| [08:47] | some drinks, and then, | 喝点酒 然后 |
| [08:48] | according to Robin, | 按照罗宾说的 |
| [08:49] | if her Aunt Edith gets drunk enough, | 如果她的伊迪斯姑妈喝得够醉 |
| [08:51] | she’ll take off her wig and they’ll play hockey with it. | 她就会把假发摘下来 然后他们就能拿它打冰球了 |
| [08:52] | Poppycock! | 胡说八道 |
| [08:53] | You know how she’s gonna do it, | 你知道她会怎么做的 |
| [08:56] | and you’re gonna tell me! | 你也会如实告诉我的 |
| [08:57] | Or do I have to get my face | 还是我要把脸凑得更近点 |
| [09:00] | even closer to yours? | 你才会告诉我 |
| [09:03] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [09:04] | How come you’re not getting | 你为什么不把脸 |
| [09:05] | uncomfortably close to my face? | 跟我的脸贴近点呢 |
| [09:07] | I could be in on it, too. | 我也有可能知道内情啊 |
| [09:11] | ‘Course you could, Lil. | 可不嘛 莉莉 |
| [09:12] | I can keep a secret. | 我能保守秘密的 |
| [09:14] | Lily, don’t make me laugh. | 莉莉哟 快别逗我了 |
| [09:15] | I’d trust you with a secret | 我要是信你能保守秘密 |
| [09:17] | as much as I’d trust Marshall with Pop Secret. | 就跟我信马修会抖出秘密一样傻 |
| [09:19] | I can keep a secret! | 我能保守秘密的 |
| [09:21] | I can keep a secret real good. | 为了保守秘密我能守口如瓶 |
| [09:23] | I can keep a secret like nobody’s business, | 我保守秘密的时候 就跟这秘密不关任何人的事儿一样 |
| [09:25] | ’cause it is nobody’s business. | 因为它本身就不关任何人的事儿 |
| [09:28] | ‘Cause it’s a secret, | 因为它是个秘密 |
| [09:29] | and I’m keeping it! | 而且我没有把它说出来 |
| [09:31] | Does Marshall shave his back? | 马修刮后背吗 |
| [09:32] | No, I shave it for him. Damn it! | 他才不刮呢 都是我替他刮 尼玛 |
| [09:34] | Ooh! | 对了 |
| [09:35] | I should call Marshall. | 我该给马修打个电话 |
| [09:37] | I bet he’s in on this. | 我敢肯定他也知道晚宴的事儿 |
| [09:38] | If he really exists. | 如果他真的存在的话 |
| [09:41] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:43] | Setting aside the fact that I’ve kept your | 我就不说我帮你隐瞒了 |
| [09:45] | whole “Moving to Chicago” Thing a secret, | 搬去芝加哥的事这个事实 |
| [09:48] | aren’t you supposed to be dressed like Liberace right now? | 你现在不是应该穿成李伯拉斯的样子吗 |
| [09:51] | Okay, first of all, | 好吧 首先呢 |
| [09:52] | if I showed up in costume, | 如果我现在就穿着服装出现 |
| [09:54] | it would steal from the surprise and spectacle of my grand entrance. | 会破坏我之后华丽登场时的惊喜和壮观场面 |
| [09:57] | And second of all, I’m not doing that. | 其次呢 我不打算这么玩了 |
| [09:59] | Why not? | 为什么啊 |
| [10:00] | Because dressing like Liberace is easy, but… | 因为打扮成列勃拉斯很容易 但… |
| [10:03] | Uh, yes, 4/4, E-sharp… | 啊 对 四四拍 E大调… |
| [10:07] | major… | 大三度… |
| [10:10] | Okay. | 好 |
| [10:12] | Let’s make something beautiful, shall we? | 咱们来制造点美妙的音乐吧 如何 |
| [10:18] | I think that’s enough for today. | 我觉得今天练得差不多了 |
| [10:21] | Okay, I figured out how this is gonna go down. | 好了 我已经分析出事情会怎样进行了 |
| [10:24] | We’re gonna “Run out” Of ice, | 我们会”急缺”冰块 |
| [10:26] | and Robin’s gonna ask me to go get some, | 然后罗宾会让我去买 |
| [10:28] | and lo and behold, the only place that sells ice | 于是 你们瞧 整个小镇唯一一个 |
| [10:31] | in this whole town is right next to the local laser taggery. | 卖冰的地方就在一家真人激光枪游戏厅旁边 |
| [10:35] | I go inside and… | 我走进去 然后… |
| [10:37] | Surprise! | 惊喜来啦 |
| [10:38] | Beautiful dinner, family and friends, | 美好的晚宴 家人和朋友 |
| [10:40] | free game tokens and an off-road arcade game | 免费的游戏代币还有经典街机游戏 |
| [10:43] | that’s rigged for unlimited turbos! | 已经装备了无限制涡轮驱动 |
| [10:45] | That is the single stupidest… | 这是唯一蠢到家的… |
| [10:47] | Guys, you aren’t gonna believe this. | 同志们 真不敢相信 |
| [10:48] | The ice machine is broken. | 制冰机坏掉了 |
| [10:51] | Is it now? | 坏了是吧 |
| [10:52] | Well, dog my cats, what are the chances? | 真见鬼呢 这种事儿能有多大概率 |
| [10:56] | Huh? What do we do? | 好吧 现在怎么办呢 |
| [10:59] | Well, I guess I could go get some ice. | 呃 我可以出去弄点冰回来 |
| [11:01] | Uh, no, they’ll send someone. | 哦 不用了 他们会派人去的 |
| [11:02] | All right, fine. Twist my arm. I’ll do it. | 行 好吧 非让我去不可 我这就去 |
| [11:04] | But seriously, Hmm? | 不过说真的 哈 |
| [11:05] | did you get everything set up over there? | 你们把那边都布置好了吗 |
| [11:07] | Do you have enough food, have enough guns? | 食物充足不 枪支齐备不 |
| [11:09] | Did you get a vest extender for Grandma Stinson? She’s… | 有没有给斯丁森奶奶准备超大号背心 她可是… |
| [11:11] | What are you talking about? | 你说什么呢 |
| [11:14] | Oh, babe, you’re so good at this. I love it. | 哦 宝贝 你好擅长掩饰哦 我好爱你哦 |
| [11:18] | All right, I’ll see you guys over there. | 好了 咱们在那边见吧 |
| [11:20] | I mean, be right back. | 我是说 我马上回来 |
| [11:21] | Barney, Barney, this is our rehearsal dinner, okay? | 巴尼 巴尼 这就是咱们的预演晚宴 |
| [11:25] | Do not leave the premises. | 不要离开这栋楼 |
| [11:27] | Promise me you’re not going anywhere. | 跟我保证你哪儿也不去 |
| [11:29] | Fine. | 好 |
| [11:30] | Say it. | 说出来 |
| [11:30] | Say you promise you won’t leave. | 说你保证你不会走 |
| [11:33] | I promise I won’t leave. | 我保证我不会走 |
| [11:36] | So I left. And what do you know, | 于是我走了 多么巧啊 |
| [11:38] | the ice store is right next to a laser tag place! | 冰店的旁边就是一家真人激光枪游戏厅 |
| [11:43] | No, it isn’t! It’s six miles away | 根本不是 两家店相距六英里 |
| [11:45] | in the opposite direction. | 而且在相反的方向 |
| [11:46] | And I told you not to go! | 而且我明明说了让你不要走 |
| [11:48] | Yeah, well, you also told me | 是啊 不过你也说过 |
| [11:49] | didn’t want a ring bear at the wedding. | 婚礼上不想要花熊 |
| [11:51] | Ring bear-er! | 是花童 |
| [11:52] | We all know how great that’s gonna be. The point is, | 我们都知道那会有多赞 重点是 |
| [11:54] | I played along with her plan, | 我顺着她的计划演 |
| [11:56] | and I acted “Natural” So I wouldn’t spoil the surprise. | 还表现得很”自然” 这样就不会剧透惊喜 |
| [11:59] | Oh, my goodness! | 我的七舅老爷啊 |
| [12:02] | Laser tag?! | 真人激光枪 |
| [12:04] | Maybe I should go in here for a minute, | 或许我应该进去待一会儿呢 |
| [12:06] | just check it out for no apparent reason. | 只是去看看 没什么特别的理由 |
| [12:08] | And what’s this? | 哟 这是什么 |
| [12:09] | My hands-free token satchel? | 我的免手提代币小腰包 |
| [12:12] | And my free lifetime refill root beer mug? | 还有我的终身免费续杯根啤马克杯 |
| [12:17] | So for the past two months | 那过去的两个月里 |
| [12:19] | when we were letting you use our apartment | 我们借给你公寓用来 |
| [12:21] | to practice the piano every Sunday night, | 每周日晚上练习钢琴的时候 |
| [12:23] | what were you doing? | 你都在干嘛 |
| [12:24] | Oh, so that’s not traveling ’cause he’s the MVP? | 哦 他是个MVP这就不算走步了吗 |
| [12:24] | MVP most valuable player 最有价值球员 | |
| [12:28] | Come on! | 搞什么 |
| [12:31] | Where’s Barney? Has anyone seen him? | 巴尼去哪儿了 有人见到他了吗 |
| [12:34] | Robin, Ted’s totally bailing | 罗宾 泰德完全放弃了 |
| [12:35] | on playing the piano for you and Barney. | 为你和巴尼演奏钢琴的事 |
| [12:37] | Oh, really? Ted, you didn’t have to not do that. | 哦 真的吗 泰德 你并不需要这样做的呢 |
| [12:40] | But thank you. | 不过真是谢谢啦 |
| [12:42] | But he promised! A promise is a promise. | 但他保证过的 承诺就是承诺 |
| [12:44] | You can’t say you’re gonna do something | 你不能明明说好要做一件事 |
| [12:46] | and then suddenly do something completely different! | 却突然去做完全不同的另一件事 |
| [12:49] | Why are you getting so worked up about this? | 你为什么对这事这么生气 |
| [12:51] | Because, obviously, I’m worked up for a different | 因为 很显然 我是在为另外一件 |
| [12:54] | but somewhat similar reason. | 与之类似的事情生气 |
| [12:55] | And someone should ask me about it! | 该有人来问问我了吧 |
| [12:57] | I’m sorry. I don’t have time for your drama right now, Lily. | 不好意思 我现在没有时间陪你闹 莉莉 |
| [13:00] | My fiance is missing. | 我的未婚夫失踪了 |
| [13:01] | Marshall got picked to be a judge. | 马修被选中当法官了 |
| [13:03] | He took the job without even asking me. | 他连问都没问我 就接受了这份工作 |
| [13:06] | Italy’s off! | 意大利没戏了 |
| [13:09] | I have time for your drama. | 我的时间就是来陪你闹的 |
| [13:16] | -So, Marshall can’t go to Italy? -Not if he wants to be a judge. | -这么说 马修不能去意大利了吗 -如果他想当法官的话 |
| [13:20] | And my Italian was getting so good. | 但我的意大利语现在说的可好了 |
| [13:23] | It was so… | 特别的… |
| [13:25] | \N我是一个工作到意大利的告别 | |
| [13:28] | \N好桑感 | |
| [13:29] | But wait, you guys already sublet the apartment. | 等等 你们俩已经把公寓转租了 |
| [13:32] | I mean, you’re already packed. | 你的行李都收拾好了 |
| [13:33] | Marshall already borrowed and lost my Rosetta Stone. | 马修已经借走而且弄丢了我的罗塞达石碑 |
| [13:33] | 刻有希腊文及埃及象形文字的石板 用于研究古埃及文字 | |
| [13:36] | That selfish bastard! | 这个自私的魂淡 |
| [13:38] | Sorry, Lil. Hello. | 抱歉 莉儿 喂 |
| [13:40] | Okay, I’m mad, too. | 好了 我也很愤怒 |
| [13:42] | I should hope so. | 你就该愤怒 |
| [13:43] | All of a sudden, his dream is more important than yours? | 突然之间 他的梦想就比你的梦想更重要了吗 |
| [13:46] | And he did it behind your back. | 而且他还背着你做这事 |
| [13:47] | Bastardo! | 魂淡 |
| [13:48] | He would never hurt me intentionally. | 他绝对不会故意伤害我的 |
| [13:50] | I’ll hurt him intentionally. | 我会故意伤害他的 |
| [13:52] | Molto bastardo! | 极其魂淡 |
| [13:53] | That’s sweet of you to say. | 你这样说真贴心 |
| [13:55] | You could never take Marshall in a million years, | 你再过一百万年也打不过马修的 |
| [13:57] | but that’s sweet of you to say. | 不过你这样说真贴心哈 |
| [13:59] | Well, apparently, Barney went to the laser tag place | 好吧 很显然 巴尼去了真人激光枪游戏厅 |
| [14:03] | looking for a surprise rehearsal dinner. | 去找他那个惊喜预演晚宴 |
| [14:05] | When he didn’t find one, he threatened | 结果他没找到 就威胁要 |
| [14:08] | to dunk the snack bar guy’s head | 把零食柜台售货员的脑袋 |
| [14:09] | into a vat of scalding nacho Whiz. | 塞进装满滚烫玉米片的大桶里 |
| [14:13] | He’s being held until the police arrive | 他现在被扣住了 等着警察过去呢 |
| [14:15] | I need your apple juice. | 我得来点苹果汁 |
| [14:21] | And here we are. | 然后就变成这样了 |
| [14:23] | Now, I believe this charade has gone on long enough. | 现在 我觉得猜谜游戏已经进行得差不多了 |
| [14:26] | Can we please get to the surprise laser tag rehearsal? | 咱们快去那个惊喜真人激光枪预演晚宴吧 好不好 |
| [14:30] | Hey, there is no surprise laser tag rehearsal dinner! | 嘿 根本没有什么惊喜真人激光枪预演晚宴 |
| [14:33] | Okay, but if I may offer an opposing view. | 好吧 但我能不能提一个相反的观点呢 |
| [14:37] | Of course there is! | 当然有啦 |
| [14:38] | This place is lousy with clues. | 这地方到处都是线索 |
| [14:40] | Is he even really a security guard? | 这个人真的是个保安吗 |
| [14:44] | Because he looks an awful lot like a non-Pakistani version | 他看起来无比像一个非巴基斯坦版的 |
| [14:47] | of the guy who delivers sandwiches at my office. | 我办公室的三明治外卖送货员 |
| [14:50] | Also… | 而且… |
| [14:51] | “Laser tag” Has the same number of letters as “Rehearsal.” | “真人激光枪”和”预演晚宴”的字数一样多 |
| [14:58] | Laser tag has eight, rehearsal has nine. | “真人激光枪”有8个字母 “预演晚宴”⑨个 |
| [15:01] | And if you rearrange the letters and add some other ones, | 而且如果你重新排列一下这些字母 再加上一些字母 |
| [15:06] | it says, “Get ready, Barney, for the biggest surprise ever, | 就会变成 “准备好 巴尼 为你最大的惊喜 |
| [15:10] | you handsome son of a…” | 你个帅气的小…” |
| [15:12] | and then not quite enough letters for “Bitch,” | 后面没有足够的字母来拼”王八蛋”了 |
| [15:15] | but good try, Robin. | 不过你已经尽力了 罗宾 |
| [15:16] | This is crazy, Barney. | 这也太疯狂了 巴尼 |
| [15:18] | We-We can’t have a marriage like this. | 我们的婚姻不应该是这样的 |
| [15:21] | A marriage has to be built on honesty and trust | 婚姻必须建立在诚实以及信任 |
| [15:25] | and all of that Lily-and-Marshall crap. | 还有各种莉莉马修的那堆什么玩意儿上 |
| [15:27] | I though our marriage was built on honesty and trust | 我以为我们的婚姻是建立在诚实以及信任 |
| [15:30] | and all that Lily- and-Marshal crap. | 还有各种莉莉马修的那堆什么玩意儿上 |
| [15:34] | I just feel so alone right now. | 我觉得真的好孤单 |
| [15:36] | Well, you’re not. I’m here. | 但是 你并不孤单 有我在呢 |
| [15:40] | And I know you can keep a secret. | 我知道你能守住秘密 |
| [15:43] | Yeah, right. | 是啊 |
| [15:45] | Tell you what. | 要不这样 |
| [15:46] | How about I let you in on another secret? | 要不我告诉你另外一个秘密吧 |
| [15:48] | Something bigger. | 更大的秘密 |
| [15:50] | Bigger than Chicago? | 比芝加哥还大吗 |
| [15:54] | Are you kidding? | 你在开玩笑吗 |
| [15:57] | Nope. Want to do the honors? | 不 可否赏光 |
| [16:04] | Ladies and gentlemen, | 女士们 先生们 |
| [16:05] | there’s been a slight change of plan. | 计划有些小变动 |
| [16:09] | Fine! Fine. | 好啦 好啦 |
| [16:11] | You’re right, Robin. | 你说得对 罗宾 |
| [16:12] | Marriage isn’t about playing crazy pranks. | 婚姻不是整天恶作剧 |
| [16:15] | It isn’t about telling long expertly crafted lies | 不是处心积虑编一堆谎话 |
| [16:18] | to cover those pranks… | 去掩盖这些恶作剧… |
| [16:19] | How’d you get out of those handcuffs? | 你是怎么解开手铐的 |
| [16:21] | …and hiring actors to play security guards | …再请个演员扮演保安 |
| [16:23] | and spending exorbitant amounts of money on things | 还斥巨资弄出来这些个大的要死的 |
| [16:26] | like giant, fake laser tag signs. | 假的真人激光枪牌子什么的 |
| [16:28] | No, it’s about honesty. | 都不要 这关乎诚信 |
| [16:30] | Size six skate, right? | 六码的冰鞋是吧 |
| [16:32] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [16:33] | And in that spirit, I got to be honest. | 正因如此 我要对你完全诚实 |
| [16:36] | Every now and then, | 从今往后 |
| [16:39] | I am gonna lie to you. I just am. | 我若对你撒谎 就是撒谎了 |
| [16:43] | If it’s in the interest of an amazing surprise, that is. | 是为了给你准备惊喜的 |
| [16:46] | You’re gonna get bamboozled, hoodwinked. | 你会被忽悠 哄骗 |
| [16:50] | Heck, I’ll just say it. | 算了 直接说出来吧 |
| [16:53] | snow双关雪以及蒙混 | |
| [16:53] | You’re gonna get snowed. | 你会被雪片般的谎言迷惑 |
| [16:58] | Why is it snowing in here? | 这里怎么下雪了 |
| [16:59] | Put on the skates. | 穿好冰鞋 |
| [17:00] | We gotta go. | 我们得走了 |
| [17:02] | Where? | 去哪儿 |
| [17:04] | Where are we going? | 我们是要去哪儿啊 |
| [17:06] | To the rehearsal dinner, silly. | 去预演晚宴啊 小傻瓜 |
| [17:09] | Let’s get this party started. | 接下来就是见证奇迹的时刻 |
| [17:14] | What?! | 什么 |
| [17:17] | Surprise! | 惊喜 |
| [17:19] | What-What is going on? | 这 这是怎么回事 |
| [17:22] | I know how much you wanted to be in Canada this weekend. | 我知道你非常想在加拿大度过这个周末 |
| [17:26] | So I brought Canada to you. | 所以 我给你把加拿大搬过来了 |
| [17:28] | Oh, and here’s an autographed picture of Wayne Gretzky. | 还有 这是韦恩•格雷斯基的签名照 |
| [17:32] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [17:33] | And this guy’s not really a security guard. | 还有这家伙也不是什么真的保安 |
| [17:40] | Once there was this boy who | * 从前有一个男孩 * |
| [17:44] | Wore a lot of suits and said that stuff was “Legendary” | * 穿过无数西装 把传奇挂在嘴边 * |
| [17:50] | He gave lots of high fives | * 他无数次击掌 * |
| [17:54] | And swore… | * 无数次起誓 * |
| [17:57] | That he would never get married | * 婚姻与他无关 * |
| [18:04] | He really thought he meant it | * 他以为他非常坚决 * |
| [18:06] | Thanks for letting me in on this. | 谢谢你让我参与其中 |
| [18:08] | Even if it was at the very end. | 就算到最后才有我的份 |
| [18:10] | My pleasure. | 不胜荣幸 |
| [18:11] | Oh, and by the way, | 哦 顺便说一句 |
| [18:13] | there’s one more secret I’ve been keeping. | 我还有一个秘密一直没说 |
| [18:15] | All those nights I was supposed | 那些个晚上我不是应该 |
| [18:16] | to be taking piano lessons? | 在上钢琴课的吗 |
| [18:18] | I was actually taking figure skating lessons! | 我其实 是在上花样滑冰课 |
| [18:24] | Once, there was this girl who… | * 从前有一个女孩 * |
| [18:27] | Kids, it takes more than two months to learn how to figure skate. | 孩子们 花样滑冰可不是只要两个月就能学会的 |
| [18:33] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [18:35] | I love you, too. | 我也爱你 |
| [18:37] | -I’m gonna get you back, you know? -Bring it. | -我会再回敬你一个的 知道不 -来呀 |
| [18:39] | And swore she’d also never get married | * 无数次起誓 婚姻也与她无关 * |
| [18:47] | She really thought she meant it. | * 她以为她非常坚决 * |
| [18:52] | I can’t believe you did all of this. | 万万没想到这都是你做的 |
| [18:54] | Hey, I thought you didn’t like Canada. | 你不是讨厌加拿大的吗 |
| [18:56] | Are you kidding? I love Canada. | 开什么玩笑 我爱死加拿大了好吗 |
| [18:58] | 麝牛产于加拿大 多见于美洲原住民的图腾 | |
| [18:58] | Holy musk ox, is that the legendary Canadian doctor Frederick Banting | 麝了个牛的 这位是加拿大传奇医生 弗雷德里克•班廷吗 |
| [19:02] | Whoa! | 哇哦 |
| [19:03] | In 1924, I discovered insulin. | 1924年 我发现了胰岛素 |
| [19:05] | Take that, diabetes. | 接招吧 糖尿病 |
| [19:07] | Hey, look, it’s Manitoba’s native son, Norman Breakey. | 看啊 曼尼托巴的子孙 诺曼•布雷基 |
| [19:10] | You’re welcome, world. | 不用客气 全世界人民 |
| [19:11] | Enjoy my invention, the paint roller. | 好好享用我的发明 滚筒刷 |
| [19:14] | 艾伦•西克 加拿大演员 电台节目主持人 | |
| [19:14] | And of course, you know Alan Thicke. | 当然啦 大名鼎鼎的 艾伦•西克 |
| [19:17] | -Hey, hey, you… -Oh, hey. | -嗨 你好啊 -你好 |
| [19:19] | …are the prettiest girl in the place. | 这里就属你最美啦 |
| [19:21] | Oh, thank you, Alan. | 噢 谢谢你 艾伦 |
| [19:22] | All right, all right, all right. | 得了 得了 得了 |
| [19:24] | Good to see you. | 见到你真高兴 |
| [19:25] | Hey, look, it’s Louise Poirier, | 看啊 露易丝•普罗拉 |
| [19:26] | who I think worked for the company that probably created Wonderbra. | 好像是在发明了神奇内衣的公司上班 |
| [19:29] | au revoir vieille gaine façonné | 滚蛋吧 老掉牙的拖带 |
| [19:31] | Okay, okay. | 行了 行了 |
| [19:33] | Canadians also helped win two world wars… | 加拿大助攻赢了两次世界大战 |
| [19:36] | Mm-hmm. | 嗯哼 |
| [19:36] | …and gave the world Neil Young, William Shatner, | 并且赐予了这个世界 尼尔•扬 威廉•夏纳 |
| [19:36] | 分别为加拿大歌手 演员 作家 花花公子封面女郎 | |
| [19:38] | Leonard Cohen, Pamela Anderson, | 莱昂纳德•科恩 帕米拉•安德森 |
| [19:40] | one quarter of Barney Stinson, | 四分之一个巴尼•斯丁森 |
| [19:41] | instant mashed potatoes, and best of all, you. | 方便土豆泥 以及最最重要的 你 |
| [19:45] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [19:55] | 郑重么么哒所有的么么哒 下周好像要停播么么哒 年终一定要快乐么么哒 |