时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:02] | Look tickle monster! He’s gonna get you. | 快看挠痒痒怪物 他要来抓你啦 |
[00:21] | Honey, you can stop looking for the car keys. | 亲爱的 你不用再找车钥匙了 |
[00:59] | – You are going to be so proud of me. – Why? | – 你肯定会为我自豪的 – 为什么 |
[01:02] | I spent the last five nights in | 我花了五晚在聊天室和一个叫 |
[01:04] | a chat room reeling in this creep named Heinrich. | Heinrich的变态聊天 等他上钩 |
[01:07] | I got his address and showed up at his | 我搞到了他的地址 |
[01:08] | house with a printed transcript of our conversations. | 拿着打印好的聊天记录 跑到他家去找他 |
[01:11] | He calls me “Sugarbutts” 15 times on nine separate occasions. | 他在9次不同的场合中 叫了我15次”小美臀” |
[01:15] | Reese Reese… | |
[01:15] | So the guy starts crying, “What about my wife? | 变态男哭着喊着说 “我有老婆孩子要养啊” |
[01:17] | What about my kids? I’ll do anything.” | “求你别告发我 你要我做什么我都愿意” |
[01:20] | Entrapment. | 这是我下的圈套 |
[01:21] | It’s not just for police anymore. | 不是要不要报警的问题了 |
[01:23] | – Why do I care about this? – The guy works at the racetrack. | – 这关我什么事 – 他在赛马场工作 |
[01:26] | He’s gonna make bets for us on the horses we pick. | 我们看中哪匹马 他可以帮我们下注 |
[01:29] | Well, the horses you pick. | 确切地说是你看中的马 |
[01:31] | This is tomorrow’s racing form. | 这是明天的赛马消息 |
[01:33] | You’ll pick the winners and I’ll place the bets, | 你来挑匹好马 我来下注 |
[01:35] | we split the winnings 50-50, like brothers. | 亲兄弟五五分账 |
[01:39] | – That’s kind of nice. – Yeah. | – 听起来不错 – 是啊 |
[01:42] | I got to keep this guy on his toes. | 我得要那个男的时刻警觉 |
[01:43] | Time to leave a suspicious message on his answering machine. | 现在该去给他的电话答录机留言 让他瞎紧张 |
[01:48] | Wow, blackmailing a pervert to facilitate underage gambling. | 哇 敲诈一个变态来帮助未成年人赌博 |
[01:51] | How could this not work out? | 这怎么会不成功呢 |
[01:53] | It did work out. It’s been four | 果然成功了 连续四天了 |
[01:55] | days and Reese and I have already won almost $300. | 我和Reese已经赚了将近300美元了 |
[01:58] | I can’t believe it. Reese’s plans | 简直不敢相信 以往Reese的计划中 |
[02:00] | usually end up with a missing toe or something. | 一般到最后都是用砍手指来威胁别人 |
[02:02] | Since when… do you… | 你什么 时候 开始 |
[02:04] | buy lunch? | 买午餐了 |
[02:05] | Oh, well, I’ve been making some extra money at work. | 我最近在工作上赚了些小钱 |
[02:09] | There’s an incentive program at work, | 他们制定了个激励机制 |
[02:11] | we’re given bonuses for finding | 找到工作中低效之处的人都可以得到奖励 |
[02:14] | inefficiencies, it’s really improve morale at the store. | 这大大地提高了店里工作人员的士气 |
[02:17] | You know, I actually enjoy going to work there now that everybody is… | 我现在开始喜欢去那上班了 每个人 |
[02:20] | Whoa! Jeez, are you okay? | 天呐 你没事吧 |
[02:22] | Trying to finish… | 你这是想了结 |
[02:24] | what God started? | 上帝创造的生命吗 |
[02:26] | I’m sorry, I didn’t see the curb. I was distracted by that… | 对不起 我没看到这个台阶 我刚在看那个 |
[02:37] | Do you believe this? | 你看看你看看 |
[02:40] | What happened? | 怎么了 |
[02:40] | I was half way through my haircut | 我头发都剪到一半了 |
[02:42] | when Troy casually mentioned that his price had gone up | Troy才”随口”说起他涨价了 |
[02:45] | from $21 to $28. And he | 从21块涨到28块 |
[02:46] | thought I would just sit there and take it. | 他以为我会乖乖地坐那剪完付账 |
[02:49] | Well, I showed him, Hal. | 我今天算是让他长见识了 Hal |
[02:50] | I got up and I walked right out of there. | 当时我立刻起身走人 |
[02:52] | That is extortion, pure and simple. | 简直就是敲诈勒索 再简单不过了 |
[02:54] | What are you going to do about…? | 那你的头发怎么办 |
[02:58] | Here, you end it up. | 给 你给我剪 |
[02:59] | What? | 开玩笑吧 |
[03:00] | I can’t walk around like this. Cut it. | 我总不能就这副模样到处晃悠吧 你帮我剪 |
[03:01] | No. I..I couldn’t.. | 不行 我不行啊 |
[03:03] | Hal, it doesn’t have to look good. | Hal 不需要你剪得有多好看 |
[03:04] | Just hack this side off. Even it up. | 把这半边剪短 两边一样长就行了 |
[03:12] | Oh, my God. This is beautiful, | 天呐 太好看了 |
[03:15] | Hal. You’ve never done this before? | Hal 你真的没有给别人理过发吗 |
[03:18] | No, I guess I just have a knack for it. | 没有啊 可能我就是有这方面的天赋吧 |
[03:22] | Lois, I didn’t think it was possible, | Lois 虽然我觉得这不太可能 |
[03:23] | but you are even more stunning than ever. | 但是你现在比以往都迷人 |
[03:26] | Oh, Hal. | 噢 Hal |
[03:42] | – What in the…? – This is my new car. I bought it. | – 搞什么 – 这是我的新车 我自己花钱买的 |
[03:44] | Now, I know what you’re thinking, | 我知道你们在想什么 |
[03:46] | but please just give me 45 seconds to explain | 但是请给我45秒钟让我解释给你们听 |
[03:48] | why this is the perfect car for | 为什么这对我来说是辆完美的车 |
[03:49] | me and how it was such an insanely great deal | 这笔交易真的太好了 |
[03:51] | that I had no choice but to buy it. | 我不得不买下这辆车 |
[03:53] | Hey, there’s some black gooey stuff leaking out of it. | 有些黑色胶状物从车里流出来 |
[03:55] | I know it looks fast and dangerous, but that’s a good thing. | 我知道这车看起来速度很快很危险 但这正是它的优点 |
[03:58] | Cops will have their eye on my car, | 警察会格外注意我的车 |
[03:59] | so I’ll be extra motivated to drive safe and slow. | 所以我会格外注意安全驾驶 低速行驶 |
[04:02] | It didn’t cost much, so I’ll | 这车不贵 所以 |
[04:03] | have enough to pay for the first year’s insurance. | 我足以负担第一年的保险费 |
[04:05] | Think of all the money | 再想想你自己的车 |
[04:06] | you’ll save from less wear and tear on your car, | 会少了多少磨损 会省下多少钱 |
[04:08] | since I won’t have to drive it anymore. | 因为我不需要再开你的车了 |
[04:09] | I can put my finger through the metal. | 我可以把我的手指从这烂铁中穿过去 |
[04:11] | Dewey, get out of there! | Dewey 快给我出来 |
[04:13] | I’ll be able to work extra | 我可以多打点工 |
[04:13] | shifts since I won’t have to ride in with you, | 因为我不需要蹭你的车了 |
[04:15] | which means I’ll be bringing more money into the house. | 这也意味着我能为家里赚更多的钱 |
[04:17] | Oh, and I love it. | 还有 我真的很喜欢这辆车 |
[04:18] | I know you don’t care, but it needs to be said. | 我知道这点你们并不关心 但是我觉得还是有必要说明一下 |
[04:22] | Malcolm, the fact that you even want | Malcolm 你这么想要这辆车 |
[04:23] | this so bad should have been your first clue that this is… | 你更应该意识到这个 |
[04:26] | – Lois. – Hal, he’s not… | – Lois – Hal 他没 |
[04:28] | Look, every boy has to go through this. | 冷静点 每个小男生都会经历这个阶段 |
[04:30] | It’s the only way they find out what’s important in a car. | 只有这样他们才会明白衡量汽车最重要的标准是什么 |
[04:33] | Look, let’s go. I need to feather your neckline a little bit. | 别管他了 我要把你的头发再修一下 |
[04:40] | Where were you? We were supposed | 你去哪了 我们应该在午饭后 |
[04:41] | to meet Heinrich right after lunch to get our bets in. | 找Heinrich帮我们下注买马 |
[04:43] | Today was totally wasted. Although he did buy me a swimsuit. | 今天算是废掉了 虽然他确实给我买了游泳裤 |
[04:47] | I got a car, Reese. I finally have a car. | 我搞了辆车 Reese 我终于有属于我自己的车了 |
[04:49] | It’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. | 这是我见过的最酷的车 |
[04:51] | It’s a piece of crap. | 这就是摊废铁 |
[04:55] | Don’t listen to him. You’re magnificent. | 别听他的 你很漂亮 |
[05:02] | Lois, your hair looks beautiful. | Lois 你的发型太好看了 |
[05:04] | She’s right, Lois. It’s fantastic. | 她说的没错 Lois 这发型很不错 |
[05:06] | Thank you. I’ve been getting compliments all day. | 谢谢啦 我已经被赞美了一整天了 |
[05:09] | It looks so much better. | 比你以前的发型强千百倍 |
[05:10] | Yeah, I thought you were trapped in the ’70s with that old cut. | 你以前那发型 我还以为你被困在70年代出不来了呢 |
[05:13] | And your head doesn’t look so boxy anymore. | 你的头看起来也不像以前那么方了 |
[05:17] | Lois? What did you do to your hair? | Lois 瞧瞧你的新发型 |
[05:20] | I love it. Fred, isn’t it fantastic? | 我太喜欢了 Fred 是不是很好看啊 |
[05:23] | Mm-hmm. | 嗯哼 |
[05:23] | – Who’s your stylist? – My husband did it. | – 谁帮你剪的 – 我老公 |
[05:26] | – Really? Where’s his shop? – He doesn’t have one. | – 真的吗 他的店在哪儿 – 他没开店 |
[05:28] | I just got the scissors out of the drawer and, | 我从抽屉里拿了把剪刀出来 |
[05:30] | I don’t know, he just got inspired. | 我也不清楚 他可能灵感来了 |
[05:32] | Amazing. | 太神奇了 |
[05:33] | Okay, ladies, we agree Lois looks beautiful. | 女士们 我们一致同意Lois这样很好看 |
[05:36] | Now, let’s get back to work. | 大家开始工作吧 |
[05:37] | I got a job to do, too, honey. | 我也有事要忙 亲爱的 |
[05:40] | Good evening, Fred. | 晚上好 Fred |
[05:43] | There goes the soul of this store. | 这间超市的顶梁柱来了 |
[05:46] | And it keeps your nose | 你的新发型让你的鼻子 |
[05:47] | – from taking over your face. – Yeah, thanks. | – 不再成为整张脸的焦点 – 谢谢 |
[05:50] | – So I’ll see you tonight? – I wouldn’t miss it. | – 今晚见 – 我一定到 |
[05:56] | Lois, you’ve got to help me. | Lois 你一定要帮我 |
[05:57] | What? | 怎么啦 |
[05:58] | I need you to cover the rest of my shift for me. | 我需要你帮忙顶班 |
[06:00] | Again? Craig, what’s going on? | 又帮你顶 Craig 你最近怎么了 |
[06:02] | Paula wants to surprise Fred for their anniversary. | Paula想在纪念日的时候给Fred一个惊喜 |
[06:04] | He’s a big golfer, so she wants to learn how, | Fred是高尔夫高手 所以Paula想学 |
[06:06] | so I’ve been giving her lessons. | 我一直在教她 |
[06:07] | You don’t know how to golf. | 但是你不会打高尔夫啊 |
[06:08] | True, but somehow she got the idea that | 是的 但是不知道她从哪听说 |
[06:10] | I only missed the cut at the Masters by three strokes. | 我在高尔夫大师赛中只差三杆而被淘汰 |
[06:13] | – You lied to her? – Lois, my job here is hanging by a thread. | – 你对她撒谎 – Lois 现在的问题是我工作不保了 |
[06:18] | I thought if I could help the | 我原以为如果我能帮老板的老婆 |
[06:19] | boss’s wife surprise him with a game of golf, | 给他安排一个充满惊喜的高尔夫球赛 |
[06:21] | they’d end up kissing on the 18th green, | 最后他俩会在18洞果岭上接吻 |
[06:23] | and maybe I’d be in there somewhere getting the credit for it. | 也许我还能因此得到赞赏 |
[06:26] | Or you could just work hard at | 或者你可以努力工作 |
[06:27] | your job and then you wouldn’t have to suck up. | 这样你就不用拍马屁了 |
[06:29] | Lois, I don’t have time for your fantasies. I’m in trouble here. | Lois 我没时间听你瞎想象了 我现在有麻烦了 |
[06:32] | The first few lessons we worked on driving the cart, | 刚开始的几节课我只是在教她开高尔夫车 |
[06:34] | but now she wants to know how to swing a club. | 但是现在她想学习挥杆 |
[06:37] | I need to take a lesson | 我得先去学学 |
[06:38] | so I can bluff my way through her lessons. | 这样才能在教她的时候唬弄一下 |
[06:40] | – Craig… – Please, Lois. | – Craig -求你啦 Lois |
[06:42] | I can’t lose this job. This is the only true thing on my resume. | 我不能失去这份工作 这是我简历中唯一真实存在的工作经验 |
[06:46] | All right, but I’m only… | 好吧 但我只能 |
[06:47] | Feldspar Feldspar! | |
[06:49] | I want all those 50-pound bags of dog food | 在我回来之前把那些50磅装的狗粮 |
[06:50] | out on the floor before I get back to the warehouse. | 都拿出来放到地上 |
[06:53] | I’m on it. | 马上就去弄 |
[06:54] | Thanks, Lois. | 谢谢你 Lois |
[06:59] | Sorry I’m late, Hal. The grocery store was… | 对不起我回来晚了 Hal 杂货店真是 |
[07:03] | Hi, Lois. | 你好 Lois |
[07:04] | – Hal, what are you doing? – Just giving Margie a new look. | – Hal 你在干嘛 – 帮Margie设计新造型呢 |
[07:07] | I had to have him do me. | 我必须让他帮我做造型 |
[07:08] | – Your husband’s a genius. – And I get to keep the hair. | – 你老公是个天才 – 而且这些头发都归我了呢 |
[07:11] | Now where was I? Oh, my sister. Honestly, | 刚我说到哪了 我的妹妹 |
[07:13] | a beach condo on her salary. Who is she trying to impress? | 就靠她的工资还住在海边公寓里 她这是住给谁看呐 |
[07:17] | She’s just so insecure, she always has been. | 她太不自信了 一直以来都是这样 |
[07:19] | Every year she sends a Christmas | 每年圣诞节她送来的贺卡上 |
[07:20] | card with a picture of her family sitting on a sailboat. | 都有她全家人坐在帆船上的照片 |
[07:22] | It’s not even theirs. | 那都不是她家的船 |
[07:24] | Uh, Lois. Do you have to do the grocery thing in here? | Lois 你能不在这边清理那些东西吗 |
[07:28] | So… | 所以 |
[07:29] | They rent that boat from their horrible neighbors who, | 他们是找那讨厌的邻居借的船 |
[07:32] | P.S., don’t even know how to sail. | 他们那邻居都不知道怎么驾驶帆船 |
[07:42] | What is your problem, you stupid car? You’re driving me nuts. | 到底怎么回事 你这个破车 简直把我逼疯了 |
[07:46] | Where… were you? | 你刚 去哪了 |
[07:48] | Oh, Stevie, good. Here, take this. If it turns over, yank it out. | Stevie 你来得正好 拿着这个 如果引擎转动了 你就把这个拨出来 |
[07:53] | I waited… at the library. | 我在 图书馆 等了好久 |
[07:55] | You should have seen her today. I was at | 你真该看看她今天的表现 我等红绿灯时 |
[07:57] | a light and these jerks pulled up next to me wanting to race. | 一帮蠢蛋停在我旁边想赛车 |
[07:59] | I hit the gas and she just flew. | 我一脚油门她就飞出去了 |
[08:02] | I totally blew the doors off | 前4秒钟车门都要震飞了 |
[08:03] | for four seconds before she dropped an oil pan. | 然后油底盖掉下来了 |
[08:08] | That’s it! | 好了 |
[08:09] | Malcolm, we did it. We won over $250 from… | Malcolm 我们赚了 我们赢了250块 |
[08:12] | from the good grades program at school. | 从学校的好分数项目中 |
[08:16] | Awesome. That’ll pay for this. | 太好了 正好用这钱买这个 |
[08:20] | Isn’t it beautiful? This is for you. | 是不是很美呢 这是为你准备的 |
[08:28] | I e-mailed… my chess move… days ago. | 我 几天前 就把 我的象棋招数 发你邮箱了 |
[08:32] | Stevie, I don’t have to do everything with you. | Stevie 我不用整天陪着你 |
[08:36] | Tell you what. I’ll take you for a drive. That’ll… | 这样吧 我开车带你去兜风 这样会 |
[08:48] | What is your problem, you stupid car?! You’re driving me nuts! | 你到底是怎么回事啊 你这个破车 我要疯了 |
[08:59] | So I’m thinking, I feel young, so why not look young? | 所以我在想 我觉得自己还年轻 为什么不把自己打扮得年轻点呢 |
[09:02] | So I got the Botox done to crow’s feet and my forehead, | 所以我在鱼尾纹和额头上打了肉毒杆菌 |
[09:04] | then I had my chin done and my tummy tucked. | 后来我又削了下巴做了腹部抽脂 |
[09:06] | – And I may not stop there. – Work it, girlfriend. | – 我还要继续弄 – 妹子 继续弄吧 |
[09:09] | Oh, hi, Lois. | Lois 你回啦 |
[09:12] | Can I talk to you for a minute? | 我能跟你说两句吗 |
[09:13] | Does your grandmother know you borrowed her hands? | 你的手跟老奶奶的手一样老 |
[09:15] | I went to six different stores | 我跑了6家商店 |
[09:17] | and could not find that avocado oil you recommended. | 都找不到你推荐的那个鳄梨油护手霜 |
[09:21] | Hal, this isn’t working for me. | Hal 这样下去不行 |
[09:23] | Well, that’s because you | 那是因为你没像我所说的那样 |
[09:24] | don’t scrunch and spritz like I told you to. | 先揉揉头发 再喷发胶 |
[09:26] | No, this. Look. Craig is flaking out on me. | 我说的不是这个 Craig把我累瘫了 |
[09:29] | I’m pulling double shifts for him | 我要帮他顶两个班 |
[09:31] | and every time I come home, it’s full of people. | 每次我下班回来 家里都挤满了人 |
[09:33] | I never have any time alone. There is hair everywhere. | 我都没有独处的时间 家里到处都是头发 |
[09:36] | And I do not like the way you are standing lately. | 而且我很不喜欢你最近这段时间的站姿 |
[09:39] | Lois, these women are walking | Lois 这些女人离开的时候 |
[09:41] | out of here with a glow. It’s wonderful. | 都是容光焕发的 这简直太美妙了 |
[09:44] | Well, can’t you at least use some | 那你难道就不能 |
[09:45] | of the money you’re making to hire a cleaning lady? | 拿点赚到的钱出来雇一个钟点工吗 |
[09:48] | – I’m not accepting money for this ! – What?! | – 我才不要利用这个赚钱呢 – 什么 |
[09:51] | I am transforming these women, Lois. | 我正在改造这些女人 Lois |
[09:53] | I won’t soil that with money. And it’s not just the hair. | 我不想用钱玷污了我正在做的事情 并且这并不仅仅是发型 |
[09:57] | They confide in me, | 她们信任我 |
[09:57] | they need someone to listen to their problems. | 她们希望有人能聆听她们的烦恼 |
[10:00] | You wouldn’t believe what some of these women are going through. | 你肯定想不到有些人正在经历着些什么 |
[10:02] | Nancy, she’s getting audited. | Nancy 她正在被审查 |
[10:04] | Margie’s husband has a gambling problem, | Margie的老公赌博成瘾 |
[10:06] | and Paula in there, she is having an affair. | 坐在那里的Paula 她有外遇了 |
[10:09] | What?! | 什么 |
[10:09] | Yes, for the last five months. | 是的 已经五个月了 |
[10:11] | It’s some guy she’s pretending to take golf lessons with. | 和一个她假装一起上高尔夫课的人 |
[10:19] | Why do you keep doing this to me? | 为什么你要这样折磨我 |
[10:25] | I fix your throttle linkage and your alternator dies. | 我刚修好你的节流联动装置你的发电机又坏了 |
[10:28] | I buy you a new alternator and your water pump explodes. | 刚给你买个新的发电机你的水泵又炸了 |
[10:31] | Every time I think I’m getting close, | 每次当我觉得快弄好了 |
[10:33] | you find a new way to hurt me. | 你又找到新的方法打击我 |
[10:35] | Hey, thanks for placing that bet today. | 谢谢你今天去下注 |
[10:37] | I tried to get out of detention, | 我想在留堂的时候溜出来 |
[10:38] | but none of the fire alarms were working. | 但是没有一个火灾报警器是好的 |
[10:40] | Where’s the money? | 钱呢 |
[10:41] | I never made the bet. | 我今天没去下注 |
[10:43] | What? | 什么 |
[10:44] | I didn’t make the bet. I spent the money on something else. | 我没去下注 我用钱买别的东西了 |
[10:46] | A car bra! | 一个车头罩 |
[10:49] | What? | 什么 |
[10:50] | You had $200. | 你手上有200块 |
[10:52] | That horse came in at five to two. | 那匹马的赔率是5-2 |
[10:54] | I don’t know what that is, but I’m supposed to get half of it. | 我不知道那意味着什么 但其中一半的钱应该是我的 |
[10:56] | Sorry, man. But look how hot she looks. | 对不起了兄弟 但你看看她多性感 |
[10:59] | Malcolm, you got to calm down. | Malcolm 你需要冷静一下 |
[11:00] | – This car is messing you up. – This car is not messing me up. | – 这车把你整个人都搞乱了 – 这车没有把我搞乱 |
[11:04] | It’s made me happier than I’ve ever been in my life. | 它使我比以往任何时刻都快乐 |
[11:12] | Oh, Lois, thank God. | 噢 Lois 谢天谢地 |
[11:13] | Fred asked me to scrub out the Dumpsters tonight, but Paula wants | Fred要我今晚清洗垃圾桶 但是Paula想 |
[11:16] | to work on her short iron, so I had to schedule an emergency lesson with the golf pro. | 练习使用短铁杆 所以我得找高尔夫教练预约一堂课救急 |
[11:20] | The guy charges, like, 90 bucks an hour. It’s really eating away at my savings, | 他每小时收90块 太费钱了 |
[11:23] | but I guess I have no one to blame but myself, and, oh, my God, you know about the affair. | 但是这都是我自找的 天呐 你知道外遇的事儿了 |
[11:27] | Damn it! Damn it! | 妈的 他妈的 |
[11:29] | – You do know, right? – Yes, I know. | – 你确实知道 对吧 – 是的 我知道 |
[11:31] | Damn it! | 妈的 |
[11:32] | Craig, how could you lie to me after all I’ve done for you? | Craig 我为你做了这么多 你居然忍心对我说谎 |
[11:35] | I let you sleep on our floor when | 当你以为你家猫的鬼魂想要杀你时 |
[11:37] | you though your cat’s ghost was trying to kill you. | 是我让你在我家打地铺的 |
[11:39] | I settled that feud between | 是我帮你摆平了你跟那帮 |
[11:40] | – you and the Girl Scout troop. – They started it. | – 女童子军的恩怨 – 是她们先开始的 |
[11:42] | Shut up! | 闭嘴 |
[11:43] | I do all this and you repay me by making me drag | 我为你做了这么多 你是怎么回报我的 |
[11:46] | around 50-pound sacks of dog food | 让我替你拖那么多袋50磅装的狗粮 |
[11:48] | so you can sleep with the boss’s wife? | 好让你有时间跟老板的老婆滚床单 |
[11:50] | – That’s inexcusable! – I didn’t plan this. It just happened. | – 这真是无法原谅 – 这也不是我的计划啊 这事就这么发生了 |
[11:53] | One night after inventory, we stopped in the parking lot to talk. | 天晚上点完货 我们在停车场聊天 |
[11:56] | I bent down to pick up her keys, the next thing I know, | 我弯腰去她帮捡钥匙 接下来我所记得的就是 |
[11:59] | she’s got me handcuffed in a shower in a motel out by the airport. | 我和她在机场外面的一个旅馆里冲澡 手还被她铐起来了 |
[12:03] | She’s crazy, Lois. | 她太疯狂了 Lois |
[12:05] | But she makes me crazy, too. | 但是她使得我也变得疯狂了 |
[12:06] | Craig Craig… | |
[12:07] | I’m not kidding. There is a dark, | 我不是开玩笑的 在我内心深处 |
[12:09] | scary place inside of me that I didn’t even know it was there, | 有一个黑暗可怕的 连我自己都不知道的地方 |
[12:11] | but Paula knew it was there, and every night she takes me | 但是Paula知道 每天晚上她都带我到那个可怕的地方 |
[12:14] | to that scary place and shows me some new, terrible, delicious corner of it. | 并发掘出一些新的 恐怖的 美味的角落 |
[12:19] | You’re not going to rat on me, are you? | 你不会揭发我吧 |
[12:21] | No, but you have to end this today. | 不会 但是你今天必须了结这件事 |
[12:23] | I can’t, Lois. I’m addicted. I don’t even know who I am anymore! | 我不能 Lois 我已经沉迷了 已经不知道自己是谁了 |
[12:28] | I know I’ve let you down, | 我知道自己让你失望了 |
[12:30] | but I want to thank you for helping me anyway. | 但是无论如何我都要感谢你帮助我 |
[12:31] | – Craig, I never said I… – If that homeless guy is still in the Dumpster, | – Craig 我从没说过我 – 如果那个流浪汉还在垃圾箱里 |
[12:34] | just let him drink from the hose. He’ll leave you alone. | 只要让他在水龙头喝水 他就不会骚扰你 |
[12:40] | Stupid car. That’s four coats. Now will you run?! | 烂车 已经废掉4个椅套了 你现在能启动了吗 |
[12:44] | – Malcolm, your leopard-skin seat covers are here. – Sweet. | – Malcolm 你的豹纹座椅套到了 – 太好了 |
[12:47] | I can’t wait to see you in them. | 我等不及给你套上了 |
[12:54] | What’s going on? | 这是怎么一回事 |
[12:55] | Malcolm, this is Mike. | Malcolm 这是Mike |
[12:58] | He’s from AAA. | 他是汽车协会的 |
[12:59] | You’re in a safe place with people who care about you. | 你在这里很安全 我们大家都很关心你 |
[13:02] | Sit down, son. | 孩子 坐下吧 |
[13:05] | What’s all this about? | 这到底是怎么了 |
[13:07] | Stevie and Reese have | Stevie和Reese |
[13:08] | something to say and I think you should listen. | 有些话想说 我觉得你应该听一听 |
[13:13] | You’ve abandoned… your friends. | 你已经抛弃了 你的朋友 |
[13:17] | You didn’t even notice my new… deck shoes. | 你甚至没有注意到 我新买的平底帆布鞋 |
[13:22] | Stevie, I’ve just been busy, okay? | Stevie 我只是最近比较忙而已 |
[13:23] | Your car is ruining everything. | 你的车把一切都毁了 |
[13:25] | It’s even affecting our illegal gambling. | 甚至影响到了我们的非法赌博 |
[13:28] | I tried to pick a winner myself, | 我试着自己选马 |
[13:29] | but since I’m an idiot, | 但是因为我是个白痴 |
[13:30] | I picked one that came in at over 600 to one. | 我选了个赔率600-1的 |
[13:34] | I won $11,500 that I can’t even | 我赢了11500块 但是我摸都不能摸 |
[13:35] | touch because I’d have to fill out a tax form! | 因为我必须要填表报税 |
[13:38] | $11,500 that’s just sitting | 我只能干巴巴看着那11500块 |
[13:40] | there tormenting me because of that stupid car! | 都是你这辆烂车搞的 |
[13:43] | Stop calling it stupid! | 不许说她是烂车 |
[13:45] | That car isn’t stupid. That car is great. | 这部车不是烂车 它是最棒的 |
[13:48] | It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. | 拥有它是我有生以来最好的事情 |
[13:50] | Really? Where’d you get that shiner? | 真的吗 你那黑眼眶是咋回事 |
[13:52] | That was my fault. I wasn’t being careful enough. | 是我的错 我之前太大意了 |
[13:55] | Malcolm, we’re here to help, | Malcolm 我们是来帮你的 |
[13:58] | but the first step is for you to admit that you have a problem. | 但是首先你要认识到自己出问题了 |
[14:02] | I did. That’s why I’m in AAA. | 我意识到了自己的问题 所以我加入了美国汽车协会 |
[14:04] | There’s thousands of us, Malcolm, | 有好多人都和我们一样 Malcolm |
[14:05] | and we all know what you’re going through. | 我们都能理解你正在经历的一切 |
[14:13] | Well, I guess I didn’t realize how bad things had gotten. | 可能我确实没有意识到事情变得多严重 |
[14:17] | I think I need to take a good long look at every… | 我想我需要花时间好好看看每个 |
[14:26] | Oh, yeah. Oh, that’s it. | 噢 太好了 要的就是这个 |
[14:35] | I didn’t get… to read… | 我 都还没有 |
[14:38] | my poem. | 读我的诗 |
[14:41] | And when Martha left the room, | 当Martha离开房间的时候 |
[14:43] | Tina checked the price tag on the leather coat… | Tina看了下皮衣上的价格标签 |
[14:45] | factory outlet. | 工厂直销 |
[14:49] | Temperature good for you? | 温度合适吗 |
[14:50] | Perfect. As was the scalp massage. | 很好 头皮按摩也很棒 |
[14:55] | So all you have to do is cash in the ticket for me, | 你所要做的仅仅是帮我把马票兑现 |
[14:58] | give me the $11,000, and you can keep $500. | 给我11000块 剩下的500块归你 |
[15:02] | – Deal. – Thanks, man. | – 成交 – 谢谢啦 |
[15:04] | Well, I think it’s important you have an adult you can trust. | 我觉得有个你能信任的成年人对你很重要 |
[15:10] | This car is a tease. | 这部车太会戏弄我了 |
[15:12] | Yesterday, she gave me the ride of my life. | 昨天她给了我这一生中难忘的飙车旅程 |
[15:15] | Her bra flew off before I even hit the freeway. | 在我上高速路前她的罩子就被吹跑了 |
[15:17] | I was so happy! | 我当时太兴奋了 |
[15:21] | And today, she won’t even start. | 但是今天 她连火都打不着 |
[15:23] | It’s like yesterday didn’t even happen. | 仿佛昨天的飙车从没发生过一样 |
[15:24] | I can’t take this anymore! | 我再也受不了了 |
[15:27] | Please start! | 求你了赶快发动吧 |
[15:28] | Please, I’m begging you! | 我求求你了 |
[15:30] | Just give me a little something, please?! | 动起来 求你了 |
[15:35] | Oh, thank you so much! I knew you’d come back. | 噢 谢谢 就知道你会回心转意的 |
[15:38] | We’re meant to be together. Don’t you see? | 我们是天生一对 难道你看不出来吗 |
[16:16] | Help! Somebody help me! | 救命啊 来人啊救命啊 |
[16:19] | I’m stuck! | 我被困在里面了 |
[16:20] | Help! | 救命啊 |
[16:22] | There’s a bit of a wait. We got | 你要多等一下 有个婚礼派对的造型 |
[16:24] | slammed with a wedding party and we’re way behind. | 全都要我们做 而我们现在已经晚了 |
[16:31] | Huh, The Human Volcano. One of my favorites. | <人类火山> 我的最爱之一 |
[16:34] | – Oh, it’s so much better now that he can read minds. – Exactly. | – 他现在有读心术了 比以前好多了 – 那确实 |
[16:38] | He used to just have heat grip. How lame was that? | 他以前只能吸取热量 真逊 |
[16:45] | – You allergic to nuts? – No. | – 你对坚果过敏吗 – 不过敏 |
[16:48] | All right. | 好吧 |
[16:54] | What are you studying in school? | 你在学校都学些什么 |
[16:56] | Regular stuff, I guess. | 很平常的一些东西 |
[16:58] | I don’t really like school. | 我不怎么喜欢学校 |
[16:59] | Everybody makes fun of me. | 所有人都嘲笑我 |
[17:01] | Yeah, I remember those days. Kids can be so cruel. | 是啊 我记得那些日子 小孩居然那么残忍 |
[17:04] | The smart kids, the loaners, they were the meanest. | 那些聪明的小孩 有钱的 他们是最刻薄的 |
[17:08] | The worst is gym class. | 最讨厌体育课了 |
[17:10] | My own team throws the ball at me in dodgeball. | 在躲避球游戏中我的队友居然朝我扔球 |
[17:14] | Hey, you know how you can get out of gym? Pretend to have asthma. | 你知道怎么翘体育课吗 假装有哮喘 |
[17:18] | All you need is a fake inhaler. Here, take mine. | 只要一个假的吸入器就好了 给你 用我的 |
[17:20] | It also gets me good seats on the bus. | 这个还能让我在公交车上坐到好位置 |
[17:22] | Don’t worry. | 别担心了 |
[17:24] | Things are going to be better for you from here on out. | 从此以后一切都会好起来的 |
[17:26] | My dad tells me the same thing. | 我爸跟我讲过同样的话 |
[17:28] | Well, your dad’s a smart man. | 你爸是个聪明人 |
[17:30] | Frank, your new haircut looks great. | Frank 你的新发型看起来不错哦 |
[17:32] | Let me just get my purse | 等我拿一下钱包 |
[17:33] | and I’ll drive you back home to your parents. | 然后把你送回家 回到父母身边 |
[17:35] | Craig, you know Frank’s parents, Fred and Paula. | Craig 你认识Frank的父母 Fred和Paula |
[17:38] | Remember, Fred is our boss at Lucky Aide? | 记得吗 Fred是幸福好帮手的老板 |
[17:40] | And I believe you’re giving golf lessons to his mom. | 你在教他妈妈打高尔夫 |
[17:43] | Let’s go, Frank. | 走吧 Frank |
[17:45] | And I promise I’ll drive | 我一定会小心驾驶 |
[17:46] | very safely so we don’t have an accident. | 这样我们才不会发生意外 |
[17:48] | I wouldn’t want to ruin your life with my carelessness. | 我不想因为我的粗心大意而毁了你的一生 |
[17:57] | I’m not going to make it. | 我逃不出去了 |
[18:00] | Stevie was right about this car. | Stevie说得对 |
[18:05] | And so was Reese. | Reese也说得对 |
[18:07] | He was right about the car, | 这车被他说准了 |
[18:09] | and the horse racing. | 赛马也是 |
[18:14] | That makes it easier. | 这样对我来说就容易多了 |
[18:16] | I don’t… | 我不 |
[18:18] | want to live in a world… | 不想生活在一个 |
[18:21] | where Reese is right. | 总是Reese说得对的世界里 |
[18:29] | You really have to snap | 你必须要使劲抖毛巾 |
[18:30] | those sheets if you want to get the hair off. | 那样头发才会掉出来 |
[18:32] | Come on. Throw your fanny into it. | 快点 把你的屁股抖起来 |
[18:33] | Dad, seriously, you got to stop talking like that. | 爸 说真的 你不能再这样讲话了 |
[18:36] | Oh, I’m sorry. | 噢 对不起 |
[18:37] | It’s just so draining listening | 听那些人说 |
[18:39] | to all these people with their tawdry little secrets. | 她们的低俗小秘密真是累死人了 |
[18:41] | Like that Paula woman, Fred’s wife? | 比如说那个Paula Fred的老婆 |
[18:43] | Not only is she cheating on her husband, now she’s | 她不仅背叛了她老公 现在她都脚踏三只船了 |
[18:46] | two-timing on her golf instructor with her swing-dance teacher. | 背着高尔夫教练和舞蹈老师鬼混 |
[18:49] | She is learning new moves every night | 她每晚都在学新的花招 |
[18:51] | if you know what I’m talking about. She is so cold. | 如果你知道我在说什么 她太无情了 |
[18:56] | – Hey! – Stevie, please, we’re talking. | – 喂 – Stevie 不好意思 我们在说话呢 |
[18:59] | And Sheila’s husband Randy just got a new assistant. | Sheila的老公Randy刚刚找了个新秘书 |
[19:01] | She’s 19 years old and she doesn’t even know how to type. | 她才19岁 连打字都不会 |
[19:04] | The girl wears a halter top to the office. | 那女孩居然穿系带背心去上班 |
[19:06] | Halter tops? | 系带背心 |
[19:08] | Hello? Dukes of Hazzard on line three. | 你好 <正义前锋>剧组来电话了 |
[19:09] | They want their costumes back. | 他们想要回剧组服装 |
[19:18] | Malcolm? Malcolm, are you all right? | Malcolm Malcolm 你还好吧 |
[19:20] | What happened? | 发生了什么 |
[19:21] | It’s okay. It’s okay, son. You’ll be fine. Just breathe deep. | 没事的 没事的 深呼吸 |
[19:26] | Stevie Stevie… | |
[19:28] | you saved my life. | 你救了我的命 |
[19:31] | I treated you like dirt. You saved my life. | 我对你态度那么差 你却救了我的命 |
[19:36] | Your wheel’s kinda on my crotch. | 你的轮子压到我的裤裆了 |
[19:39] | Is it? | 有吗 |
[19:42] | I can get off early, can’t you just cancel your lesson? | 我可以早点下班 你就不能取消你的课吗 |
[19:45] | I wish I could, but we’re working on the Texas Two-Step tonight. | 我也想啊 但是今晚我们要练习德州二步舞 |
[19:48] | We never see each other anymore. | 我们好久没见面了 |
[19:51] | Lois, I see you more than I see my wife these days. | Lois 我这些天见你比见我老婆还勤 |
[19:53] | Oh, Fred, things have a way of changing for the better. | Fred 事情会越变越好的 |
[19:56] | You’ll see. | 你会看到的 |
[19:57] | Attention, Lucky Aide shoppers: | 幸福好帮手的顾客朋友们请注意 |
[20:00] | My name is Craig Feldspar and I have a message for Paula Lynch. | 我叫Craig Feldspar 我有个消息要告诉Paula Lynch |
[20:04] | Paula, I can’t go on like this. | Paula 我不能再继续这样下去了 |
[20:07] | I’m going to do the right thing, | 我要做正确的事情 |
[20:08] | and make you my wife. | 我要娶你 |
[20:11] | I just bought an $11,500 | 我刚买了个11500块的 |
[20:13] | engagement ring which I hope you’ll accept. | 订婚戒指 希望你能接受 |
[20:18] | You’re cheating on me with Craig Feldspar?! | 你背着我跟Craig Feldspar搞在一起 |
[20:25] | I think we’re both victims here, Fred. | 我想我们都是这件事的受害者 Fred |
[20:27] | I’m going to go… | 我要去 |
[20:29] | something that way. | 那边 |
[20:31] | Sure, it won’t be easy for us, | 我知道这对我们来说不容易 |
[20:33] | but the path of true love never did run smooth. | 但是通往真爱的道路从来都不会平坦 |
[20:35] | We’ll move in with my grandmother and care for her together. | 我们搬去我奶奶家 一起照顾她 |
[20:40] | Well, they’re about to tow her away. | 他们要把车拖走了 |
[20:41] | You want to come say good-bye? | 你不来告别吗 |
[20:43] | No. | 不要 |
[20:45] | I know it’s tough, son. | 我知道这很痛苦 儿子 |
[20:47] | I thought I’d never get over my first car. | 我原以为自己不能忘记我自己的第一辆车 |
[20:49] | ’64 Plymouth Fury who couldn’t keep her top on. | 64年的普利茅斯复仇女神 车顶总是盖不上 |
[20:54] | Then some guy stole her from me. | 后来她被人偷了 |
[20:56] | I saw her a few months later | 几个月后我又看到了她 |
[20:57] | with a new driver and a different paint job, but, | 另一个人开着 重新上了不同的漆 但是 |
[21:01] | she meant nothing to me. | 她对我来说已经没有意义了 |
[21:02] | I had moved on. | 我向前看了 |
[21:04] | And so will you. | 你也会的 |
[21:07] | Are you cutting my hair? | 你在剪我的头发吗 |
[21:08] | No. | 没有啊 |