| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Gentlemen, I got a problem. | 男士们 我有一个麻烦 |
| [00:05] | I’ve gathered you here because I need the smartest guys I know. | 把你们召集起来的原因是 我需要跟最聪明的人谈 |
| [00:08] | My life is what it is, so that’s you. | 鉴于我的生活是这副德性 所以就是你们 |
| [00:12] | He’s talking to you guys, so step it up. | 他要跟你们谈 你们上 |
| [00:15] | Yesterday, I was the only one home and the doorbell rings. | 昨天我自己在家的时候 门铃响了 |
| [00:18] | It was Carl Tompkins. | 是卡尔·汤普金斯 |
| [00:20] | That son of a bitch. | 那个王八犊子 |
| [00:22] | Who’s Carl Tompkins? | 卡尔·汤普金斯是谁 |
| [00:24] | Pastor Carl? The guy who married me and Andi at our wedding. | 卡尔牧师 我和安迪的婚礼就是他主持的 |
| [00:27] | That son of a bitch. | 那个王八犊子 |
| [00:29] | Dad, will you listen, please? | 爸 你听我说行不行 拜托 |
| [00:31] | He gave me some very bad news. | 他跟我说了个非常糟糕的消息 |
| [00:33] | 17 years ago, when I married you and Andi, | 十七年前主持你和安迪的婚礼 |
| [00:35] | I had a nasty gambling problem. | 当时我沉溺赌博 |
| [00:38] | But I’m in a program now, and I’m on the ninth step, | 幸好我现在参加治疗了 已经到达第九步 |
| [00:41] | which is making amends. | 前来赔罪 |
| [00:43] | Amends? That’s never good. | 赔罪 感觉不妙 |
| [00:46] | When I did your ceremony, I was broke, | 你办仪式的时候 我正在破产中 |
| [00:48] | so I hadn’t renewed my credentials. | 所以并没有去更新我的资格证 |
| [00:50] | I forged your paperwork and your marriage isn’t legal. | 而是伪造了你的文件 所以你的婚姻是不合法的 |
| [00:53] | What? | 什么 |
| [00:55] | We’re not legally married? | 我们不是合法夫妻 |
| [00:56] | But why would you do the ceremony | 既然你知道没用 |
| [00:58] | if you knew it wasn’t real? | 为什么还来主持婚礼 |
| [00:59] | I just love making people happy. | 我就是愿意让人开心 |
| [01:02] | Do I look happy now? | 你看我像开心的样子吗 |
| [01:04] | So I was right– he is a son of a bitch. | 我说对了 他就是个王八犊子 |
| [01:07] | Andi’s not gonna like this. | 安迪一定会不开心 |
| [01:09] | But she’s not gonna blame Adam. | 不过也怪不到亚当啊 |
| [01:10] | It’s not your fault the guy had a gambling problem. | 他赌博又不能怨你 |
| [01:13] | See, this is where it gets tricky. | 问题就出在这儿了 |
| [01:17] | H-He’s not the guy Andi told me to hire. | 安迪让我去找的不是他 |
| [01:19] | I picked him ’cause he was cheaper. | 我选他是因为他更便宜 |
| [01:21] | Oh, Adam. | 亚当呀 |
| [01:24] | What? Well, I had to do something. | 我总得做点什么 |
| [01:25] | Look, we agreed on a simple courthouse ceremony, | 听着 我们已经同意办个简单的仪式 |
| [01:28] | then the bride magazines started showing up | 结果家里开始出现新娘杂志 |
| [01:30] | and everything got expensive. | 花费越来越高 |
| [01:31] | She wanted to move it to the Bahamas. | 她想到巴哈马群岛去办 |
| [01:33] | I had to show her a bunch of shark attack videos | 我不得不给她看了一堆鲨鱼吃人的视频 |
| [01:35] | just to keep it on the mainland. | 她才同意在大陆上办的 |
| [01:37] | So you’re not legally married? | 所以你们不是合法夫妻 |
| [01:38] | And it’s your fault. | 因为你的错 |
| [01:39] | And Andi doesn’t know. | 安迪还不知道 |
| [01:41] | That’s pretty much it. | 差不多就是这样 |
| [01:42] | Yeah, you’re gonna need smarter guys. | 你说得对 需要个聪明人来帮你 |
| [01:57] | First of all, I am really pumped to be included | 首先 被招募进这个建议圈 |
| [02:00] | in this advice circle. | 我非常的开心 |
| [02:01] | We don’t name our meetings, Lowell. | 我们不会给见面取名字的 洛厄尔 |
| [02:03] | And if we did, it would be something cool, | 就算取名字 也会取个酷点的 |
| [02:05] | like “War council.” | 比如军事会议 |
| [02:08] | But a wedding is not something to cut corners on. | 但婚礼不是你缩减用度的东西 |
| [02:12] | You blew it, bubba. Sorry for the language. | 你搞砸了 好老弟 抱歉 用词太凶了 |
| [02:15] | Money is for saving, not spending. | 钱是用来存的 不是用来花的 |
| [02:18] | That’s right, and you’re gonna need that money | 没错 等暴风雨来临时 |
| [02:19] | when the storm comes. | 你的钱就用上了 |
| [02:21] | And there is always a storm coming. | 暴风雨随时会来 |
| [02:23] | You taught us that, Pop. | 你教育的好 爸爸 |
| [02:24] | I’m never not afraid. | 我时刻恐惧着 |
| [02:26] | Damn straight. It keeps you frosty. Mm-hmm. | 做得好 保持颤抖！ |
| [02:29] | So how do I tell Andi we’re not legally married | 我要怎么告诉安迪 我们的婚姻之所以不合法 |
| [02:31] | because I wanted to save a few bucks? | 是因为当初我想省钱 |
| [02:32] | Now, keep in mind, not being married might be | 请注意 没有结婚这件事对她来说 |
| [02:35] | a hot-button issue for her. | 很有可能是个敏感问题 |
| [02:38] | Well, you could soften her up with some romance. | 你可以用浪漫点的方法说出来 缓和一下 |
| [02:40] | Ooh, take her to a nice hotel for a weekend. | 可以带她去个好酒店过周末 |
| [02:43] | I don’t like the idea of being locked | 我不希望跟她摊牌的时候 |
| [02:44] | in a tiny room with her when she finds out. | 是单独两个人锁在小房间里 |
| [02:47] | Whenever I’ve screwed up with Marcy and it has happened– | 我惹到玛茜的时候会这么做 |
| [02:52] | I tell her I did something much worse, | 先跟她说我做了件更糟的事情 |
| [02:54] | and then when I tell her the real thing, | 再把实际的事情告诉她 |
| [02:56] | she’s relieved. | 她就释然了 |
| [02:58] | So what could I tell Andi that’s worse than this? | 那有什么是更糟的 我能跟安迪讲 |
| [03:00] | Nothing. | 没有 |
| [03:02] | I was just saying, you know, | 我就是说 |
| [03:03] | if you’d done something not so big, | 要是有比这个小的错误 |
| [03:06] | that would be the solution. | 就可以用这招了 |
| [03:08] | This is the worst war council I’ve ever been on. | 这是我参加过最烂的军事会议了 |
| [03:12] | Son, you got to think outside the box. | 孩子 你要更有创意一点 |
| [03:15] | Men have been screwing up with women for thousands of years. | 男人惹女人这件事已经进行了几千了 |
| [03:17] | They’re on to us. | 她们专门看着我们的 |
| [03:20] | You need something new. | 你需要新鲜的想法 |
| [03:21] | So your idea is: come up with a good idea. | 所以你的主意就是 想个好主意 |
| [03:24] | That’s right. Run with that. | 没错 就这么做 |
| [03:27] | Okay. Well, a lot of good perspectives here. | 好的 真是非常有见解 |
| [03:30] | But the thing is, Andi is the best, all right? | 但重点是安迪是最棒的 |
| [03:32] | I got a good one, so I’m just gonna go home | 我有个好主意 回家 告诉她实话 |
| [03:34] | and tell her; she’ll understand. | 她会理解的 |
| [03:36] | – Attaboy. – Absolutely. – Good for you. | -好样的 -当然了 -你加油 |
| [03:41] | He’s not coming back from this. | 他应该一去不复返了 |
| [03:42] | He’s a dead man. | 他死定了 |
| [03:43] | I should have told him I loved him. | 我应该告诉他我爱他的 |
| [03:49] | – Hey, sweetie. – Hey. | -亲爱的 -好啊 |
| [03:51] | You’ll never guess what happened at work today. | 你绝对猜不到今天上班发生了什么 |
| [03:53] | I hope it was good. | 希望是个好事 |
| [03:54] | It’s so good. | 很好啊 |
| [03:55] | Okay. I finally figured out | 我终于找出来了 |
| [03:57] | who’s been microwaving fish in the break room. It was Karen. | 到底是谁在休息室用微波炉热鱼 是凯伦 |
| [04:00] | Yeah. We’re gonna have a whole meeting about it | 就是她 我们准备开个会 |
| [04:03] | and everything. | 好好讨论一下 |
| [04:05] | Yeah. Funny thing happened to me today, too. Get this. | 是啊 今天我也碰到个有意思的事 听我说 |
| [04:09] | Wait. Wait. | 等等 等等 |
| [04:10] | Babe, what’s this? They didn’t have the organic chicken? | 宝贝 这是什么 他们没有有机鸡肉卖吗 |
| [04:12] | No, no, they did, but we’ll get to that in a minute. | 他们有的 这事儿一会儿说 |
| [04:14] | Yeah. Okay, but, um, | 好的 但是 |
| [04:16] | I thought we agreed we were gonna go organic. | 我们不是说好要吃有机食物吗 |
| [04:18] | Remember? We watched that documentary. | 记得吗 我们一起看那部纪录片 |
| [04:19] | You cried a little. | 你还哭了 |
| [04:22] | Then I saw how much organic chicken costs, | 后来我知道了有机鸡肉多少钱 |
| [04:24] | and I cried more. | 哭得更凶了 |
| [04:26] | They just charge you twice as much | 价格贵了一倍 |
| [04:28] | ’cause they slap a fancy label on it. | 就因为上面贴了个高级贴纸 |
| [04:30] | Okay, Adam, we’ve talked about this. | 好了 亚当 我们讨论过的事 |
| [04:32] | Don’t be cheap. | 别这么小气 |
| [04:34] | Well– I am not cheap, I am frugal. | 我不是小气 只是节俭 |
| [04:38] | Okay, see what you did there? | 看你刚刚干了什么 |
| [04:39] | You just took “Cheap” And you slapped a fancy label on it. | 只是给小气贴了个高级贴纸 |
| [04:44] | Okay, this isn’t a big deal, it’s just chicken, | 好的 不是什么大事 只是鸡肉而已 |
| [04:45] | but I-I do need to… | 但我需要… |
| [04:46] | Okay, look, Adam, we both know it’s not just chicken. | 听着 亚当 我们心知肚明 不仅是鸡肉 |
| [04:51] | I mean, like, for example, all of our napkins | 举个例子 我们所有的纸巾 |
| [04:53] | come from fast food places. | 都是从快餐店拿回来的 |
| [04:57] | You should never have to pay for napkins. | 永远不应该花钱买餐巾纸 |
| [05:00] | They’re free everywhere. | 到处都有免费的 |
| [05:03] | And when company comes over, | 有客人来的时候 |
| [05:04] | we put out the good ones from Arby’s. | 我们就用高级的 尔比餐厅的 |
| [05:09] | Okay. Let’s talk about our coffee situation. | 行 再看看我们家的咖啡情况 |
| [05:13] | These coffee pods come 12 to a box, | 这一盒里面有十二个咖啡包 |
| [05:15] | but somehow every box seems to last us for a month. | 但我们家似乎一盒可以用一个月 |
| [05:21] | I did not know that you noticed that. | 我不知道你注意到了 |
| [05:24] | Oh, I did. | 我注意到了 |
| [05:26] | Says right on it, | 这上面写着 |
| [05:27] | “Single use only.” | 只能用一次 |
| [05:32] | You’ve been double dripping, haven’t you? | 你一直泡两次对不对 |
| [05:35] | You’re damn right I have. | 你猜对了 |
| [05:38] | They would love for you to only use each pod once. | 商家当然希望我们一次用一包了 |
| [05:40] | That’s their whole scam. | 这就是他们的诡计 |
| [05:41] | I bet you there’s a documentary about that. | 我肯定你那里有他们的纪录片 |
| [05:44] | Okay, Adam, it’s not a scam, okay? | 亚当 这不是诡计 好吗 |
| [05:46] | I’ve been drinking brown water | 我喝了带棕色的水以后 |
| [05:48] | and falling asleep at 10:30 in the morning. | 早上十点半就困到睡着了 |
| [05:50] | Okay, you know I love a bargain. | 你知道我喜欢省钱 |
| [05:53] | But isn’t it fun when you find out and we have a laugh? | 你一发现 我们说说笑笑的 不是挺有意思吗 |
| [05:57] | Yeah, so fun. | 对 很有意思 |
| [06:01] | Let me ask you something. | 我问你件事 |
| [06:03] | Last week, when you made the reservation | 上周 你在预定我们全家 |
| [06:06] | for our family trip to Keystone Lake, | 去基斯通湖的旅行时 |
| [06:11] | you said that the hotel right on the water was full, | 说湖边那个酒店住满了 |
| [06:13] | so that we had to stay at the cheap one six blocks away. | 所以我们只能住在六个街区以外的便宜酒店 |
| [06:18] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [06:20] | Yeah. I-I-I-I told you that | 我是这么跟你说的 |
| [06:22] | because that’s what happened. | 因为事情就是这样发生的 |
| [06:23] | And if I’m remembering right, and I hope I am, | 如果我记得没错的话 希望没错 |
| [06:27] | I said there was a convention. | 那里是要开个大会 |
| [06:31] | So if I call the good hotel right now, | 所以我现在给酒店打电话 |
| [06:33] | they’ll say they’re booked. | 他们会说全都订满了 |
| [06:34] | Oh, they absolutely will. | 当然会了 |
| [06:37] | They might not. | 也许不会 |
| [06:38] | I knew it. | 我就知道 |
| [06:42] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [06:43] | I can deal with the napkins and the coffee, | 餐巾纸和咖啡的事我能忍 |
| [06:45] | but you can’t skimp on the big stuff. | 但大事上你不要抠门 |
| [06:48] | The family stuff, that’s what makes me crazy, all right? | 家庭的事 简直会逼疯我 知道吗 |
| [06:51] | I don’t want to hear about any more secret ways | 我不想再听到任何 |
| [06:53] | that you’ve been cheaping out. | 你偷偷省钱的事了 |
| [06:55] | Well, d-don’t worry, you won’t. | 别担心 不会的 |
| [06:58] | Okay, good. | 很好 |
| [07:00] | Hey, what did you want to talk to me about? | 你刚刚想跟我说什么 |
| [07:02] | Nothing. | 没事 |
| [07:05] | Uh, well, I just wanted to talk… in general. | 我只是想跟你谈话 谈就行了 |
| [07:09] | And we did. | 谈过了 |
| [07:11] | Great job. | 干得好 |
| [07:14] | So I’m not telling her. | 我不会告诉她了 |
| [07:16] | I’m sorry it didn’t go well, but I’m thrilled to be back. | 很遗憾没有顺利进行 但我们重聚还是很开心的 |
| [07:20] | I’m this close to making us all T-shirts. | 我差点就要给我们做T恤了 |
| [07:22] | – What happened? – I didn’t have time to get the design right. | -发生了什么 -我没时间好好设计 |
| [07:24] | Not you. | 没说你 |
| [07:26] | What happened? | 发生了什么 |
| [07:27] | Well, I was gonna tell her, but inside of five minutes, | 我本来准备跟她说 结果五分钟内 |
| [07:30] | she busted me on discount chicken, reused coffee pods, | 她发现了我买打折鸡肉 重复泡咖啡包 |
| [07:34] | and a secret budget hotel. | 订便宜酒店 |
| [07:36] | It did not seem wise or healthy for me to tell her | 当时的情况如果告诉她找卡尔牧师是因为便宜 |
| [07:39] | I picked Pastor Carl because he was cheaper. | 绝对不明智 可能还伤身体 |
| [07:41] | I mean, “Frugaler.” | 因为节俭 |
| [07:43] | I once had a frugaler at a Jewish wedding. | 有次我在犹太人婚礼上试过节俭 |
| [07:45] | It was delicious. | 非常美味 |
| [07:48] | So the problem isn’t that you’re not married, | 所以问题不是你没结成婚 |
| [07:50] | it’s that you’re not married because you were cheap. | 而是因为你小气所以没结成婚 |
| [07:53] | And she does not like that, which is sad, | 她非常讨厌这点 我很难过 |
| [07:55] | because I think it’s one of my greatest qualities. | 我觉得这是我好品质之一 |
| [07:58] | Look, when it comes to money, | 听着 在钱的问题上 |
| [07:59] | I’m right and she’s wrong, | 我是对的 她是错的 |
| [08:01] | but this will prove that I’m wrong. | 但这件事证明了我错了 |
| [08:03] | If it proves you’re wrong, doesn’t that mean you’re wrong? | 如果这证明你错了 不就说明你是错的吗 |
| [08:06] | Clearly I’m wrong. | 显然我说错了 |
| [08:08] | It will upset the balance of our whole marriage. | 这会打破我们婚姻中的平衡 |
| [08:11] | I’ll lose every money argument forever. | 以后我再也没资格为钱争论了 |
| [08:13] | We’ll just be sitting in the poor house | 我们就会住在可怜的房子里 |
| [08:15] | with our rich black coffee and high-end napkins. | 喝着浓郁的黑咖啡 用着高端餐巾纸 |
| [08:18] | So you’re not gonna tell her at all? | 所以你打算什么都不告诉她 |
| [08:20] | You’re just gonna stay not married? | 就这样维持不结婚的状态 |
| [08:21] | I thought about that. | 我考虑过 |
| [08:23] | I could tell her now, or… | 我可以现在告诉她 或者 |
| [08:25] | I could fix it and tell her never. | 我解决好问题 永远都不告诉她 |
| [08:27] | Huh? How about this? | 这样如何 |
| [08:29] | Andi’s always talking about | 安迪总说要跟我去 |
| [08:30] | renewing our vows someday. | 重申我们的誓言 |
| [08:31] | Why can’t that be now? | 何不现在去呢 |
| [08:33] | And why can’t that be done by a real pastor? | 何不找个真的牧师来主持呢 |
| [08:36] | Then you’ll be legally married. | 然后你们就是合法夫妻了 |
| [08:37] | I like it. It’s got Lowell’s romance, | 我喜欢 既有洛厄尔的浪漫 |
| [08:39] | it’s got Dad’s outside the box, | 也有老爸的新创意 |
| [08:40] | and it’s kind of shady, like me. | 还有一丝我的特点 阴险 |
| [08:52] | What? | 干嘛 |
| [09:03] | You are so beautiful. | 你真是太美了 |
| [09:08] | Even when you’re about to spit. | 连要吐水都这么美 |
| [09:10] | Thanks, honey. | 谢谢亲爱的 |
| [09:15] | You know, I was just thinking, | 我在想 |
| [09:16] | we haven’t done something really romantic in a long time. | 我们很久没有做点浪漫的事了 |
| [09:19] | You know, to celebrate our love. | 庆祝我们之间的爱情 |
| [09:22] | Aw, sweetie, you don’t have to do a whole song and dance. | 宝贝 你不用来那套唱歌跳舞的 |
| [09:24] | You know I’m always up to roll around a little. | 我这个人性致一直很高 |
| [09:26] | We can do that, too, | 当然这也也行 |
| [09:27] | but I’m talking about a spontaneous event. | 但我说的是一时兴起的活动 |
| [09:31] | Like… | 比如 |
| [09:40] | Ah, never mind, it’s too romantic. | 啊 当我没说 这样太浪漫了 |
| [09:41] | – No. Whoa. What? What? – No, no, no. It’s too magical. | -什么啊 是什么 -不不不 太梦幻了 |
| [09:44] | Tell me. | 告诉我 |
| [09:53] | What if we renewed our vows? | 我们要不要去重申我们的誓言 |
| [09:56] | Oh, I’ve always wanted to do that. | 我一直很想去的 |
| [10:00] | Oh, but, I mean, shouldn’t we wait | 不过是不是该等一个 |
| [10:02] | for a big anniversary? | 重要的纪念日再去 |
| [10:04] | Like our 20th or our 30th? | 比如二十周年或者三十周年 |
| [10:05] | No, no, no. No, no, no. | 不不不 |
| [10:07] | I-I-I, I think we do it right now | 我觉得我们应该现在就去 |
| [10:10] | for our 17-and-a-half-ieth. | 在我们十七个半周年的时候 |
| [10:13] | No one will see that coming. | 谁都想不到的 |
| [10:16] | What’s gotten into you? | 你中了什么邪了 |
| [10:18] | Just a bunch of love. | 中了爱情的邪啊 |
| [10:21] | Think about it. | 你想想 |
| [10:22] | The girls can wear matching outfits. | 女儿们穿姐妹装 |
| [10:24] | Teddy can wear suspenders. | 泰迪可以穿背带裤 |
| [10:26] | You love Teddy in suspenders. | 你爱看泰迪穿背带裤 |
| [10:29] | He looks so cute– | 他穿超可爱的 |
| [10:31] | like a tiny Southern lawyer. | 像个小小的南方律师 |
| [10:36] | Okay, let’s do it. | 好 我们就去吧 |
| [10:37] | – We’re doing it. – Yeah. This is so exciting. | -我们决定了 -对 好让人兴奋 |
| [10:41] | What about having it in the Bahamas? | 我们去巴哈马群岛怎么样 |
| [10:45] | Oh. Nah. | 不要了 |
| [10:47] | Sharks. I forgot. Mm-hmm. | 有鲨鱼 我忘了 |
| [10:48] | Yeah, but it’s still gonna be great. | 还是会非常好的 |
| [10:50] | Yeah, yeah. Oh, and this time, my dad won’t be trying | 对 这次我爸就不会在我走上红毯的时候 |
| [10:52] | to talk me out of it as I’m walking down the aisle. | 努力说服我不要嫁给你 |
| [11:01] | I did not know he did that. | 我不知道他做过这事 |
| [11:05] | Look, but– hey, let’s get married again. Yay! | 不过我们要再结一次婚了 |
| [11:13] | Okay, great, | 很好 |
| [11:14] | you guys are all set for the renewal ceremony tonight. | 你们都准备好参加今晚的重申仪式了 |
| [11:16] | We look like dweebs. | 我们一副呆瓜样子 |
| [11:19] | Yes, you do. That’s your wedding present to your mother. | 没有错 这是你们送给妈妈的结婚礼物 |
| [11:22] | These suspenders are pulling my pants up too high. | 这些背带把我的裤子拉得太高了 |
| [11:26] | I feel like I’m sitting on a rope. | 我感觉像跨座在绳子上 |
| [11:29] | Go loosen ’em up a little. I want grandkids. | 去调松一点点 我还想抱孙子呢 |
| [11:35] | Okay, I’ll take these out to the backyard | 好了 我去把花拿到后院 |
| [11:37] | and arrange them around the altar. | 布置到红毯旁 |
| [11:39] | Oh, and, Adam, I think | 亚当啊 |
| [11:40] | what you’re doing today is incredibly romantic. | 我觉得你今天办的这个仪式浪漫无比 |
| [11:43] | That’s a hint, Don. | 这是暗示 大唐 |
| [11:46] | I’m all over it, baby. | 我全都听懂了 宝贝 |
| [11:51] | So in a few hours, you’re gonna make an honest woman out of Andi. | 再过几个小时 你就能明媒正娶安迪了 |
| [11:53] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [11:54] | She’s very excited. | 她好兴奋 |
| [11:55] | Apparently, I’m the world’s greatest husband… | 显然我是世界上最棒的丈夫 |
| [11:58] | based on her limited information. | 据她有限的信息判定的 |
| [12:01] | But after tonight we’ll be back to being married, | 不过今晚以后 我们就结婚了 |
| [12:03] | and I can pretend this whole thing never happened. | 可以假装这一切都没发生过 |
| [12:05] | You seem a little jumpy, son. | 你一脸的神经质 儿子 |
| [12:07] | I saw that look run past me in Vietnam a lot. | 我在越南的时候 很多人这幅表情从我身边跑过 |
| [12:11] | Yeah, I’m jumpy. | 对 我现在很神经质 |
| [12:12] | I got a lot of balls in the air, a lot of stories. | 现在我满身的小辫子 撒了太多的谎 |
| [12:14] | It’s complicated. | 实在太复杂了 |
| [12:15] | Hey, listen, if you were gonna tell her the truth, | 听着 如果你想说实话 |
| [12:17] | you should have done it the day you found out. | 应该在发现问题的那天就坦白 |
| [12:19] | The cover-up is always worse than the crime. | 掩盖比犯罪更严重 |
| [12:22] | Why didn’t you say that when we were having the war council? | 军事会议的时候你怎么没说 |
| [12:26] | I just thought of it. Oh. | 我才想到 |
| [12:29] | Don’t give me a bunch of beers | 问我重要问题之前 |
| [12:30] | and then ask me serious questions. | 不要让我喝那么多啤酒 |
| [12:33] | Well, you know what? | 就这样吧 |
| [12:33] | Andi will be home any minute from getting her hair done, | 安迪去做头发了 随时回来 |
| [12:36] | she’ll see how beautiful everything looks out there, | 她会看到一切都非常美好 |
| [12:38] | we’ll tie the knot, and I’ll be home free. | 我们喜结连理 万事大吉 |
| [12:41] | All right, I’m gonna go get your mom. | 好的 我去接你妈妈 |
| [12:43] | She’s been up on blocks | 她去了几个街区外的美容院 |
| [12:44] | at the beauty shop getting a full refurb. | 做一个全身保养抛光 |
| [12:48] | – Oh, that’ll be Lowell with cake. – Okay. | -是洛厄尔带蛋糕来了 -好的 |
| [12:52] | – Who are you? – Pastor Carl. | -你是谁 -卡尔牧师 |
| [12:54] | Son of a bitch. | 王八犊子 |
| [12:59] | Pastor Carl, what are you doing here? | 卡尔牧师 你怎么来了 |
| [13:01] | I need to talk to Andi. | 我要跟安迪谈 |
| [13:02] | Turns out, I got to make amends to her, too. | 原来 我也要向她赔罪 |
| [13:05] | I got a meeting in a few hours, | 几个小时后我就要参加会面 |
| [13:06] | and if I get Andi, I can move on to step ten. | 跟安迪赔罪以后 我就可以进入第十步了 |
| [13:08] | Well, settle in to step nine ’cause you’re not talking to her. | 你老实的在第九步待着吧 不许你跟她说话 |
| [13:10] | – You got to get out of here. – No, no. | -你给我出去 -不不 |
| [13:12] | I’m not going anywhere until I see Andi. | 见到安迪之前 我哪里都不去 |
| [13:15] | Okay, uh, fine. Um… | 好吧 |
| [13:17] | Tell me what you want to say to her, and I’ll text it to her. | 把你要跟她说的话告诉我 我发信息给她 |
| [13:19] | Then you can leave, and I’ll text you what she says. | 你就可以走了 我再把她的回答发信息给你 |
| [13:21] | She’ll probably say something like, “I forgive you. | 她可能会说 我原谅你了 |
| [13:23] | Don’t ever come to my house again, and, you know…” | 永远不要再来我们家 之类的 |
| [13:25] | No. Don’t sit! | 别 别坐下 |
| [13:27] | I got bad knees from standing at the craps table. | 赌桌前站久了 伤到了膝盖 |
| [13:32] | Okay, fine. You know what? I’ll go get her. | 好吧 这样吧 我去找她 |
| [13:33] | She’s out in the driveway. | 她就在车道上 |
| [13:35] | Yeah. Hey, is this champagne for anybody? | 好 这个香槟是给大家喝的吗 |
| [13:36] | Yeah, anybody but you. | 对 除了你的大家 |
| [13:39] | So I just need you to pretend | 所以你就假装是我老婆 |
| [13:40] | to be my wife for, like, five minutes. | 五分钟就好 |
| [13:42] | You have got to be kidding me. | 你一定是在开玩笑的吧 |
| [13:45] | Do it for Andi, huh? | 就当是为了安迪 好吗 |
| [13:46] | How you would feel if you found out | 要是你发现自己 |
| [13:47] | you weren’t really married to Don? | 并没有真的嫁给大唐 是什么感觉的 |
| [13:49] | Yeah, that’s not gonna get you there. | 你这么说一点说服力都没有 |
| [13:52] | Yeah, okay,bad example. Look, but I’m in a real spot here. | 好吧好吧 举错例子了 但我真的没办法了 |
| [13:54] | This is my home. I’d like to keep living here. | 这里是我家 我很喜欢住在这里 |
| [13:57] | Well, I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [13:57] | Maybe I’ll like Andi’s second husband better. | 我好像更喜欢安迪的第二个丈夫 |
| [14:00] | Yeah, maybe he’ll want to play tennis with me. | 对 也许那个人会愿意跟我玩网球 |
| [14:03] | Well, think about Andi’s feelings, okay? | 想想安迪的感受好吗 |
| [14:05] | She loved our wedding. It meant everything to her. | 她真的很喜欢这场婚礼 对她的意义重大 |
| [14:07] | If you could help me fix this without her finding out, | 要是你能帮我瞒住她解决掉这件事 |
| [14:09] | it would really spare her a lot of heartache. | 会让她免遭多少心痛啊 |
| [14:12] | Okay, I’ll do it… for Andi. | 好吧 我去 是为了安迪 |
| [14:14] | But I have one condition. | 但有一个条件 |
| [14:15] | – Anything. – I’m taking voice lessons, | -什么都行 -我在上声乐课 |
| [14:17] | and you’re gonna let me sing at the renewal ceremony. | 你要让我在重申仪式上唱歌 |
| [14:19] | Whatever you want. Yeah. | 你想怎样都行 好了 |
| [14:20] | How long you been taking voice lessons? | 你上了多久的声乐课 |
| [14:21] | My first one is Tuesday. | 第一堂课是周二上的 |
| [14:26] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [14:27] | Here’s my wife Andi, so you can make your amends and move on. | 这就是我老婆安迪 你赶紧赔罪吧 |
| [14:31] | You looked a lot different at the wedding. | 你跟婚礼上的样子变了很多 |
| [14:33] | Well, you know, living with me takes it toll. | 你知道 跟我过日子太苦了 |
| [14:36] | I’m not buying this. | 我不信 |
| [14:37] | If that’s really Andi, kiss her. | 如果她真的是安迪 亲她啊 |
| [14:40] | Whoa. Hey, Padre, whoa, whoa, whoa. | 神父 |
| [14:43] | If you’re looking for a thrill, go to the library, | 想看刺激的 去书店 |
| [14:45] | get on their Wi-Fi, like the rest of us. | 连他们的WiFi看 学学我们普通人 |
| [14:49] | – Don. – You’re not kissing my wife. | -大唐 -你不能亲我老婆 |
| [14:53] | Okay, fine. She’s not my wife. | 好吧 她不是我老婆 |
| [14:55] | But you got to get out of here. | 可你必须得走了 |
| [14:56] | My real wife will be here any minute. | 我真正的老婆马上就回来了 |
| [14:58] | I’ll tell you what– I’ll give you a hundred dollars | 这样吧 我给你一百元 |
| [14:59] | to just go back to being a gambler. | 你回去赌博玩吧 |
| [15:01] | Remember how fun that was, huh? | 记得赌博多有意思吗 |
| [15:05] | Hey… honey. | 亲爱的 |
| [15:07] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [15:09] | Pastor Carl? | 卡尔牧师 |
| [15:10] | All right. Let’s back it up. This is gonna get bumpy. Mm-hmm. | 我们撤退一点 场面要刺激了 |
| [15:13] | I can’t believe this. | 我真不敢相信 |
| [15:15] | You got Pastor Carl to do the renewal | 你请卡尔牧师来主持我们的重申仪式 |
| [15:17] | because he married us the first time? | 因为我们第一次婚礼就是他来主持的 |
| [15:18] | You are full of surprises. | 你真是太令我惊喜了 |
| [15:21] | I sure am, yeah. | 当然是了 |
| [15:24] | But, unfortunately, Pastor Carl can’t do it | 不过很遗憾 卡尔牧师不能主持 |
| [15:26] | ’cause he’s, uh… he’s booked. | 因为他被别人订了 |
| [15:28] | Yeah, he just came by to give us the bad news in person. | 对 他是亲自过来告诉我们这个坏消息的 |
| [15:31] | – Get out. – Oh, that’s such a shame. | -快走 -太遗憾了 |
| [15:34] | You know what? I’ll do it. | 那这样吧 我来主持 |
| [15:36] | I’ll cancel everything. | 其他的事我都取消掉 |
| [15:38] | – You will? – Yeah. | -你可以吗 -可以吗 |
| [15:39] | I just love making people happy! | 我就是愿意让人开心 |
| [15:44] | But you said you didn’t have your license anymore. | 可你不是说你没有证件了吗 |
| [15:47] | Well, who cares? It’s just a renewal. | 谁在乎啊 不过是重申仪式 |
| [15:49] | Yeah, let’s get happy. | 对 我们一起开心吧 |
| [15:51] | – Yes! – No! No! No! No! | -好 -不要 |
| [15:52] | Andi, Pastor Carl can’t do it. | 安迪 卡尔牧师不能主持 |
| [15:54] | Well, why not? He just said he could. | 为什么 他刚刚说可以的 |
| [15:56] | Yeah. But he isn’t a licensed pastor. | 对 但他没有证件 |
| [15:59] | And-and-and… | 而且 |
| [16:02] | And he wasn’t when he married us the first time. | 我们当初结婚的时候 他也没证件 |
| [16:09] | What? | 什么 |
| [16:11] | What does that mean? | 你说的什么意思 |
| [16:13] | Okay, technically | 好的 技术上来说 |
| [16:15] | and this is really just a small clerical thing– | 这是一个很小的牧师的问题 |
| [16:18] | we’re not legally married. | 我们不是合法夫妻 |
| [16:23] | Amends made. Good night. | 赔过罪了 晚安 |
| [16:29] | Oh, my God, so that’s why… | 我的天啊 所以才… |
| [16:31] | She’s putting it together. | 她要想出来了 |
| [16:34] | Wait. What?! | 等等 什么 |
| [16:35] | Nope. She lost it. Oh. | 没有 她没想到 |
| [16:38] | I-I’ll walk her through it. Oh. | 我帮她整理一下 |
| [16:40] | The renewal wasn’t a renewal. | 其实这并不是重申 |
| [16:42] | He was trying to marry you without you knowing | 他是想在你不知情的情况下跟你结婚 |
| [16:44] | because that guy wasn’t pasteurized. | 因为那个人没有消毒 |
| [16:50] | Okay, she’s all caught up. Back to you. | 她彻底迷糊了 交还给你了 |
| [16:54] | But the good news is we’re all set to fix this today, okay? | 但好消息是 我们已经准备好弥补这件事了 |
| [16:58] | I got a real pastor coming over. | 我请了真正的神父过来 |
| [16:59] | I checked his papers and everything, so what do you say? | 检查过他的证件之类的了 你觉得怎么样 |
| [17:02] | Let’s get hitched. | 我们结婚吧 |
| [17:04] | I don’t think so. | 我不想 |
| [17:10] | Oh, Adam. | 亚当 |
| [17:18] | You’re so beautiful. | 你真是太美了 |
| [17:22] | Remember when that was fun? | 还记得之前这话很有趣吗 |
| [17:25] | You know what? It’s all coming back to me now. | 我现在全都想起来了 |
| [17:27] | I gave you the pastor to hire for our wedding. | 我告诉了你请哪位牧师主持婚礼 |
| [17:30] | Where did Pastor Carl even come from? | 这个卡尔牧师哪里来的 |
| [17:32] | I mean, why didn’t you just hire my guy? | 为什么不请我指定的人 |
| [17:34] | My actual minister guy, my not-addicted-to-gambling guy? | 那个真正的有证牧师 没有赌瘾的人 |
| [17:37] | I didn’t know he was addicted to gambling. | 我当时不知道他有赌瘾 |
| [17:39] | I was just trying to save a few bucks. | 只是想省些钱而已 |
| [17:41] | Your guy was so expensive. | 你的人太贵了 |
| [17:45] | I’m sorry. | 等一下 |
| [17:49] | We’re not married because you’re cheap? | 我们之所以没结婚 因为你小气 |
| [17:54] | You know, some people say that’s one of my best qualities. | 有人说这是我最好的品质之一 |
| [18:00] | You know, I can deal with a discount chicken, okay? | 我能接受打折的鸡肉 知道吗 |
| [18:03] | But this? I mean, come on, Adam, we’re not really married. | 但这件事 亚当 我们连婚都没结 |
| [18:06] | I just know that there’s always a storm coming. | 我就知道会有暴风雨来临 |
| [18:09] | I think the storm is here. | 暴风雨已经来了 |
| [18:12] | I’m just saying, | 我只是说 |
| [18:14] | we have been through some times. | 我们一起经历了很多 |
| [18:16] | You remember 2008? I didn’t build a house for ten months. | 记得2008年吗 整整十个月我都没建房子 |
| [18:20] | We almost had to move in with my parents. | 差点搬进了我爸妈家 |
| [18:22] | They had one bathroom, Andi. | 他们只有一个卧室 安迪 |
| [18:24] | One bathroom, no fan, just a book of matches. | 一个卫生间 一个风扇 一包火柴 |
| [18:28] | But we had our rainy day fund, | 正因为我们有这笔未雨绸缪的基金 |
| [18:30] | so we got to stay here. | 才能继续住在这 |
| [18:33] | Okay, I get it. | 好 我懂 |
| [18:36] | But our wedding, Adam? You skimped on our wedding. | 但我们的婚礼啊 亚当 你对我们的婚礼也小气 |
| [18:38] | I skimped on our wedding because I cared about our marriage. | 我对婚礼小气 是因为我在乎我们的婚姻 |
| [18:42] | Which doesn’t legally exist. | 我们的婚姻并不合法 |
| [18:46] | I am working on that. | 我在努力解决 |
| [18:47] | I almost had it today. I was this close! | 今天差点就解决了 就差这么一点 |
| [19:01] | Look, when we were first engaged, | 听着 我们最初订婚的时候 |
| [19:05] | I didn’t know if the business was gonna work. | 我并不知道我的生意能不能做成 |
| [19:07] | I was freaking out. | 当时我很惊恐 |
| [19:09] | Well, why didn’t you just tell me that? | 那你为什么不跟我说呢 |
| [19:12] | Because I didn’t want you to worry. | 因为我不想让你担心 |
| [19:15] | Andi, I wanted to give you everything, | 安迪 我想给你一切 |
| [19:17] | but I didn’t have… anything. | 但当时我一无所有 |
| [19:20] | All I had was you. | 我只有 你 |
| [19:25] | Well, now look what you did. | 看你干的好事 |
| [19:27] | You gave me the feels. | 又让我春心萌动 |
| [19:32] | You know, if you marry me again, | 如果你愿意再嫁给我 |
| [19:35] | I promise that every time I make coffee… | 我保证每次煮咖啡 |
| [19:37] | You’ll only use the coffee pod once? | 咖啡包你会只用一次 |
| [19:39] | No, I can’t do that. | 不 我做不到 |
| [19:42] | But I will always give you the first cup. | 但我永远会把第一杯咖啡留给你 |
| [19:48] | I’ll take it. | 我接受 |
| [19:50] | Let’s get married again for the first time. | 让我们再结一次新婚吧 |
| [19:52] | Great! Yeah. | 太好了 |
| [19:54] | I get another crack at our wedding night. | 我会在新婚之夜放鞭炮 |
| [19:56] | I know what you like now. | 现在我知道你喜欢什么了 |
| [20:05] | Thanks for marrying me today, Mrs. Burns. | 谢谢你今天嫁给我 伯恩斯夫人 |
| [20:10] | Turns out that was a real quick fix down at the courthouse. | 原来在法院简单登记就行 |
| [20:14] | If I just told you in the beginning, | 要是我最初就告诉你 |
| [20:15] | I could have avoided a lot of trouble. | 应该可以省下很多麻烦 |
| [20:18] | Well, you’re right about one thing. | 不过你说对了一件事 |
| [20:20] | Our first wedding night was pretty wild. | 我们以前的新婚之夜幸福到没边了 |
| [20:23] | But… this one’s even better. | 但这一次 甚至更幸福 |
| [20:28] | Yeah, I see what you’re going for there, but no. | 我知道你是什么意思 但不行 |
| [20:33] | Well, you’re a good man. | 现在你好男人了 |
| [20:35] | It’s not easy to find a guy to marry you | 四十岁的人 带着三个孩子 |
| [20:37] | when you’re in your 40s and you got three kids. | 不太容易嫁出去 |
| [20:43] | Whose feet stink? | 谁的脚这么臭 |