| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:12] | Phil, honey! | 菲尔 亲爱的 |
| [00:15] | Phil! | 菲尔 |
| [00:16] | Hey, check it out. | 快来看 |
| [00:17] | Grandpa sent us another | 爷爷开房车自驾游 |
| [00:18] | postcard from his RV trip. | 又给我们寄了一张明信片 |
| [00:20] | “Mount Rushmore? | 拉什莫尔山 |
| [00:21] | I wish the tour guide would have rushed more.” | 要是导游拉我们走快点就好了 |
| [00:23] | Phil, we have got to do something | 菲尔 我们得对安布尔和罗尼的船 |
| [00:25] | about Amber and Ronnie’s boat. | 采取点措施了 |
| [00:26] | That thing is making it impossible | 那玩意儿害我们没法儿 |
| [00:27] | to park in our driveway, and it’s an eyesore. | 在我们的车道上停车 而且还那么丑 |
| [00:30] | On the other hand, they’re our neighbors | 但他们是我们的邻居 |
| [00:31] | and we have to see them everyday. | 抬头不见低头见 |
| [00:32] | I worry about…rocking the boat. | 我担心那会…破坏船[破坏现状] |
| [00:34] | You know you can do better. | 这可不是你的真实水平啊 |
| [00:36] | Keeping me honest. I love it. | 让我保持清醒认识 我喜欢 |
| [00:38] | Yeah, the boat is trashy. | 是啊 那船太破了 |
| [00:39] | Living next to it doesn’t feel “on brand” for me. | 住在旁边可不会让我觉得有面子 |
| [00:42] | You know, with sea levels rising at their current rate, | 以现在海平面上升的速度 |
| [00:44] | we should be glad we live near a boat. | 我们应该庆幸住在一艘船旁边 |
| [00:46] | Okay, so, that’s three for “get rid of the boat.” | 很好 三票支持把船搞掉 |
| [00:48] | – Luke? – Count me out. | -卢克你呢 -别算我 |
| [00:49] | This isn’t a police state. | 美国不是警察国家 |
| [00:50] | That boat isn’t hurting anyone. | 那艘船又没伤害人 |
| [00:53] | Here’s all you need to know about that boat. | 关于那艘船你只需要知道 |
| [00:56] | One — Tammy Lafontaine sunbathes on it. | 一 塔米·拉方丹在上面晒日光浴 |
| [00:59] | Two — my eyeballs like looking at Tammy Lafontaine sunbathing. | 二 我的眼睛喜欢看她在上面晒日光浴 |
| [01:03] | Don’t make me the bad guy here. | 别逼我当坏人 |
| [01:05] | You know that obnoxious thing annoys you, too. | 你自己也讨厌那玩意儿 |
| [01:07] | Yeah, it does, but we need to finesse this — | 我是讨厌 但我们得用点计谋 |
| [01:09] | Be nice about it. | 那就是友善地处理 |
| [01:10] | The last thing we need | 我们真的不该 |
| [01:11] | is some huge feud with our crazy neighbors. | 跟我们的疯邻居长期争执不休 |
| [01:12] | Movie idea. | 电影创意 |
| [01:13] | I’ll put on the list. | 我去写在创意清单上 |
| [01:14] | Comedy or drama? | 喜剧类还是剧情类 |
| [01:15] | Depends on casting. | 取决于谁来演 |
| [01:16] | There’s got to be some kind of regulation about this. | 肯定有这方面的规定吧 |
| [01:18] | I’m gonna call the city. | 我要给市政厅打电话 |
| [01:19] | That’s a terrible idea. | 这主意太糟糕了 |
| [01:20] | Uh, no, a terrible idea | 不 关于一个能把自己 |
| [01:22] | is a movie about a guy who can fax himself places. | 传真到不同地方的人的电影才糟糕 |
| [01:25] | ’cause you haven’t heard the title — “Just the fax man.” | 因为你不知道电影名叫《传真侠》 |
| [01:29] | That water can’t hit us soon enough. | 海浪怎么不能来得更快些 |
| [01:46] | Hey, where have you guys been? | 你们上哪儿去了 |
| [01:47] | The San Vicente branch of the public library, | 公共图书馆圣文森特分馆 |
| [01:49] | and then ice cream. | 然后去吃了冰激凌 |
| [01:51] | That was a weirdly specific answer. | 回答具体得很诡异啊 |
| [01:53] | Well, everything is normal. | 一切都很正常啊 |
| [01:54] | Usually when everything is normal, | 通常当一切正常时 |
| [01:55] | people don’t respond in | 人们不会回答得这么一致 |
| [01:56] | perfectly rehearsed unison. | 像排练过一样 |
| [01:57] | Now who’s being weirdly specific. | 看现在是谁具体得诡异了 |
| [02:00] | Well, if you went to the library, | 如果你们真去了图书馆 |
| [02:01] | why don’t you have any books? | 为什么手里没书呢 |
| [02:02] | We read there. | 我们在那儿看的 |
| [02:03] | I read “Clifford the Big Red Dog.” | 我读的是《大红狗克利福德》 |
| [02:05] | And I read Richard Chamberlain’s autobiography. | 我读的是理查德·张伯伦的自传 |
| [02:06] | Did you know he did Hamlet in London? | 你知道他曾在伦敦表演哈姆雷特吗 |
| [02:09] | Yes, I remember you telling me about that | 知道 我记得你在公共图书馆 |
| [02:11] | at the San Vicente branch of the public library. | 圣文森特分馆跟我说过这事 |
| [02:13] | Okay, well, why don’t you go clean your room now, sweetie? | 去收拾一下你的房间吧 亲爱的 |
| [02:15] | Great idea. | 好主意 |
| [02:16] | Lily, don’t forget your backpack. | 莉莉 别忘了你的背包 |
| [02:18] | Whoa, what’s this? | 这是什么 |
| [02:20] | Cam, clown supplies? | 小卡 小丑道具 |
| [02:22] | Uh, yeah, those are mine. | 没错 那是我的 |
| [02:22] | We just had to pick them up from the dry cleaner. | 我们去干洗店取的 |
| [02:25] | Also mine. | 那也是我的 |
| [02:26] | Oh, my gosh, they must | 天呐 他们肯定是 |
| [02:27] | have shrunk them in the wash! | 用水洗导致衣服都缩水了 |
| [02:30] | Did they wash them 40,000 times? | 他们洗了4万遍吗 |
| [02:33] | Okay, look. | 好了 听我说 |
| [02:33] | It’s no big deal, but I took Lily | 没什么大不了 但今天早上我带莉莉 |
| [02:36] | to a junior clown college this morning. | 去上儿童小丑学校 |
| [02:37] | Are you serious? Behind my back? | 你说真的吗 背着我带她去的 |
| [02:39] | Yes, because I knew you wouldn’t approve. | 没错 因为我知道你不会同意的 |
| [02:41] | What was I supposed to do? | 那我该怎么做 |
| [02:42] | Not take her because you know | 别带她去啊 你也知道 |
| [02:43] | how I feel about all this mumbo jumbo. | 我有多不喜欢这些无聊的东西 |
| [02:43] | mumbo jumbo表示无意义的活动 该词源于西非某部落的一个戴面具的舞者 | |
| [02:46] | Mumbo Jumbo was like a father to me. | 那就像是我的父亲一样 |
| [02:48] | I have been very up front with you. | 我已经跟你说得很清楚了 |
| [02:51] | You knew going in | 你非常了解 |
| [02:52] | that I wanted to raise our child as a clown. | 我希望把我们的孩子培养成一个小丑 |
| [02:55] | Yes, but then I finally | 没错 但后来我终于 |
| [02:56] | realized that you weren’t joking | 意识到你不是开玩笑的 |
| [02:58] | and we agreed that we would wait | 而且我们也同意会等她长大 |
| [02:59] | until she was old enough to decide for herself. | 能够自己做决定的时候再说 |
| [03:01] | You do stuff with her all the time, | 你总是跟她在一起做各种事情 |
| [03:03] | and you don’t ask me for my permission. | 也从没问过我是否同意 |
| [03:05] | Just last week, | 就在上周 |
| [03:06] | you took her to the doctor without even asking! | 你带她去看医生 连问都没问我 |
| [03:08] | ’cause she had an ear infection! | 因为她耳朵感染了 |
| [03:09] | Let’s say we’re even! | 算我们扯平了 |
| [03:14] | Bravo! | 太棒了 |
| [03:15] | You ate all of your blueberries! | 你吃光了所有的蓝莓 |
| [03:17] | That gets applause? | 那就能获得掌声吗 |
| [03:18] | I just finished the Friday | 我刚做完了周五的纵横字谜 |
| [03:20] | crossword puzzle and nothing. | 大家毫无反应 |
| [03:21] | I guess everyone knows | 所有人都知道 |
| [03:22] | Herbert Hoover’s middle name. | 总统赫伯特·胡佛的中间名吗 |
| [03:23] | Look what I got — | 看看我买了什么 |
| [03:25] | A throne for our little king. | 我们小国王的宝座 |
| [03:27] | Do we have to put the toilet on the counter? | 非得把马桶放在桌子上吗 |
| [03:29] | I take my afternoon coffee here. | 我在这里喝午后咖啡的 |
| [03:31] | Let’s fix one problem at a time. | 一次解决一个问题吧 |
| [03:33] | I’ve decided to potty-train Joe. | 我打算对乔进行如厕训练 |
| [03:34] | No, too soon. | 不 太早了 |
| [03:36] | It’s too soon for a Pearl Harbor joke, | 现在说珍珠港的笑话还太早 |
| [03:37] | perfect time for this. | 做如厕训练再合适不过了 |
| [03:39] | I don’t want to rush him. | 我不想催促他 |
| [03:40] | Too much pressure and he will get traumatized. | 如果压力太大 他会受到精神创伤的 |
| [03:43] | He’s grown up drinking from a breast bigger than his head. | 他是喝着比自己头还大的胸部的奶长大的 |
| [03:46] | I don’t think he scares easy. | 我觉得他不容易被吓到 |
| [03:48] | The kid’s ready, plus, if I’m being honest, | 这孩子准备好了 而且要我说实话 |
| [03:50] | I’m tired of buying diapers. | 我受够了买尿布 |
| [03:53] | Excuse me, where do you keep the diapers? | 请问尿布在哪里 |
| [03:55] | Right over here, sir. | 这边 先生 |
| [04:03] | You trying to be funny? | 你在搞笑吗 |
| [04:05] | We have larger sizes. | 我们还有更大的尺码 |
| [04:08] | He’s gonna do great. | 他会表现出色的 |
| [04:09] | Why wouldn’t he? | 当然 |
| [04:10] | There’s no one better than Joe, right? | 没人比乔更棒了 对吧 |
| [04:12] | I’m better than Joe. | 我就比乔更棒 |
| [04:14] | At his age, | 在他那么大时 |
| [04:14] | I was counting to 10 in three languages. | 我就会用三种语言从一数到十了 |
| [04:17] | The bar is so low for that kid, | 那孩子的标准[棍子]真低 |
| [04:19] | except when they play limbo. | 除了他们玩过横棍的时候 |
| [04:20] | they hold it up so high anybody can get under it. | 他们把棍子举得好高 谁都能过去 |
| [04:25] | I didn’t see you there. | 我没看见你躺在这里呢 |
| [04:27] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [04:28] | So, is that your creepy twin brother | 上周一直在窗户里 |
| [04:30] | who’s been staring at me | 盯着我看的 |
| [04:30] | from the window for the last week? | 是你的变态双胞胎兄弟吗 |
| [04:32] | Uh, I could lie and say “Yes.” | 我可以撒谎说”是” |
| [04:36] | You could pretend you weren’t flattered, | 你可以装作你没觉得高兴 |
| [04:38] | but why not just cut to the chase? | 但我们何不直入主题呢 |
| [04:40] | And what would that be? | 那是什么 |
| [04:42] | I could maybe touch something of yours? | 我可以摸摸你的一些东西吗 |
| [04:45] | Sure, and I could maybe kick something of yours. | 当然啦 我也可以踢你的一些东西 |
| [04:47] | I like this tension. | 我喜欢我们之间这么紧张 |
| [04:49] | Very “Will they, when will they?” | 很有”他们会吗 什么时候”的感觉 |
| [04:51] | Go back to your room, little boy. | 回你的房间去 小男孩 |
| [04:52] | Got it. I’ll see you from there. | 知道了 我到上面去看你 |
| [04:55] | Once we approach them with this, | 一旦我们这样接近他们 |
| [04:56] | it’s gonna be awfully hard for me to log in | 我会很难跟市政府 |
| [04:58] | with my anonymous call to the city. | 打匿名电话了 |
| [05:00] | You’re not gonna have to report anyone. | 你没必要举报任何人 |
| [05:02] | Call me David Copperfield, | 叫我大卫·科波菲尔吧 |
| [05:03] | ’cause I’m about to make a boat disappear. | 因为我就要让一艘船消失了 |
| [05:06] | Hey, neighbors. I made you some banana bread. | 邻居们 我给你们做了点香蕉面包 |
| [05:09] | Oh, I love banana bread. | 我喜欢香蕉面包 |
| [05:10] | We have this at our dispensary, | 我们的药房里也有这个 |
| [05:12] | except we got weed in it. | 不过里面会加大麻 |
| [05:13] | But we could give this one to our kids as a trick. | 但我们可以把你的面包给孩子们来耍他们 |
| [05:17] | This boat is really something. | 这艘船真不错啊 |
| [05:19] | You know what we call her? | 你知道我们怎么称呼她吗 |
| [05:20] | – “Jackpot”! – ‘Cause you sell pot. | -“头奖” -因为你卖大麻 |
| [05:23] | Holy cow, we never thought of that. | 天啊 我们从来没想到这一点 |
| [05:25] | This is the best day of my life! | 这是我这辈子最棒的一天 |
| [05:27] | Permission to come aboard and check her out? | 我可以登上来好好瞧瞧她吗 |
| [05:29] | Yeah! | 当然可以 |
| [05:30] | That is, if you’re talking about my boat and not my wife. | 前提是你说的是我的船 而不是我妻子 |
| [05:33] | Ooh, yeah, you can’t climb aboard me. | 是啊 你可不能登上我 |
| [05:35] | Well, not in the driveway, anyway. | 反正在车道上不行 |
| [05:37] | – This is so great. – Yeah. | -这真是太棒了 -是啊 |
| [05:40] | Did you do something new with your hair? | 你去做了头发吗 |
| [05:41] | Did you get a new wig or something? | 买了一顶新假发还是怎么 |
| [05:44] | Sweet boat like this belongs in the water, am I right? | 这种漂亮的小船就该下水 对吧 |
| [05:47] | Well, you know, people who put their boat in the water, | 把船推下水的人们 |
| [05:49] | they only use it on the weekend. | 只能在周末使用船 |
| [05:50] | We get to use this baby every day. | 而我们每天都可以用 |
| [05:52] | Can you imagine | 你能想象 |
| [05:53] | visiting this boat every day in the marina? | 每天都去码头上找这艘船吗 |
| [05:56] | You spend a bunch of money on something, | 你花了很多钱买的东西 |
| [05:57] | you want people to see it. | 就要让人们看见 |
| [05:58] | That’s why I wear low-cut tops. | 所以我穿着低胸上衣 |
| [06:00] | Yeah! Listen up. | 是啊 听好了 |
| [06:03] | I just got to be honest. | 我得说实话 |
| [06:04] | We’re having a hard time with the boat here. | 我们对这艘船很有意见 |
| [06:06] | What, you don’t like Jackpot? | 什么 你不喜欢”头奖”吗 |
| [06:07] | It’s gigantic and makes it pretty tough | 它太大了 让我们很难 |
| [06:10] | to park in our driveway. | 在我们的车道上停车 |
| [06:12] | Well, that’s because you open your doors onto our driveway, | 那是因为你们侵犯到我们的车道了 |
| [06:15] | where we keep our boat. | 我们的船停在这里 |
| [06:17] | Yes, and, according to city regulations, | 是啊 根据城市规定 |
| [06:20] | it shouldn’t even be here. | 它不该出现在这里 |
| [06:22] | “Regulations.” Hear that? | 规定 听到了吗 |
| [06:23] | Look, we really do want to keep this friendly. | 听着 我们真的想保持友好 |
| [06:25] | And it’s been here for three weeks. | 这船都在这里停了三周了 |
| [06:27] | – Yeah, and it’s beautiful. – And it’s tacky. | -是的 它很美 -很俗气 |
| [06:31] | – Settle down! – Hey, that is uncool! | -冷静点 -你的话太难听了 |
| [06:32] | There are four aces on the side of it. | 船身上画着四张大A呢 |
| [06:35] | You know what? | 这样吧 |
| [06:35] | We’re gonna have to ask you to disembark. | 我们现在要求你们上岸 |
| [06:37] | That’s boat for “Get off.” | 那是”滚开”的船上用语 |
| [06:39] | Yeah, there’s no room up here for an uptight buzzkill. | 是的 这里不欢迎让人讨厌又扫兴的人 |
| [06:42] | Don’t call her a buzzkill. | 不许说她让人扫兴 |
| [06:43] | That’s right. There’s a lot of people who think I’m fun. | 没错 很多人认为我很风趣 |
| [06:45] | You complain about fireworks Friday, | 你抱怨星期五的烟火表演 |
| [06:47] | you complain when my son plays his kick-ass drum set, | 我儿子敲鼓的时候你也抱怨 |
| [06:50] | you bought curtains for your bedroom window. | 你买了窗帘挂在卧室的窗户上 |
| [06:53] | What have we ever done to you? | 我们对你们做什么了吗 |
| [06:54] | I think you just answered your own question. | 我想你回答了你自己的问题 |
| [06:56] | All right, you know what? | 好 这样吧 |
| [06:56] | Here, take your buzz-free banana bread | 把你那半生不熟的香蕉面包拿走 |
| [06:58] | and go back to your precious driveway. | 回你们那宝贵的车道去 |
| [06:59] | With pleasure. | 很乐意 |
| [07:00] | By the way, Claire, | 还有 克莱尔 |
| [07:01] | earlier, I was just being nice. | 刚才我只是想表示友善 |
| [07:02] | I do not like your new wig. | 其实我根本不喜欢你的新假发 |
| [07:04] | Hey, what you don’t like is her real hair! | 你不喜欢的是她的真头发 |
| [07:07] | – Phil! – Uh, not the color. | -菲尔 -颜色是染的 |
| [07:08] | Hey, Phil! | 菲尔 |
| [07:11] | Still think we need to be nice? | 你还认为我们应该态度好一些吗 |
| [07:13] | No. It’s time for more drastic measures. | 不 是时候拿出强硬手段了 |
| [07:15] | No one insults… my banana bread. | 没人可以羞辱我的香蕉面包 |
| [07:25] | – Mitchell. – F-fiz– no! No! | -米奇尔 -菲茨 不 不要 |
| [07:28] | What have I said about you sneaking up on me? | 我告诉过你不要偷偷接近我 |
| [07:30] | I could have been shaving. | 我可能在剃胡子 |
| [07:30] | This could have been a sweeney Todd moment. | 场面可能会像《理发师陶德》里一样 |
| [07:32] | Because of me, clowning is in Lily’s blood. | 莉莉继承了我扮小丑的才华 |
| [07:35] | Adopted. | 她是领养的 |
| [07:36] | But she’s a natural, and we’re gonna prove it to you. | 但她有天赋 我们会证明给你看的 |
| [07:38] | If she doesn’t make you laugh, | 如果她不能逗你笑 |
| [07:40] | she’ll quit clowning forever. | 那她就再也不扮小丑 |
| [07:42] | Come on. | 求你了 |
| [07:43] | Please. | 来嘛 |
| [07:44] | I present to you the Asian for any occasion, | 我向你介绍大众皆宜的亚洲面孔 |
| [07:48] | the clown that will invert that frown, | 会让你转怒为喜的小丑 |
| [07:51] | the dynamic duo of Fizbo and… | 活力四射二人组 菲茨宝和… |
| [07:56] | Lizbo! | 莉茨宝[似Limbo: 地狱] |
| [07:57] | Are you not hearing that? | 你没听出来吗 |
| [07:58] | We’re working on the name. | 名字我们还在研究 |
| [08:02] | Oh, no, Fizbo dropped his hat. | 不 菲茨宝的帽子掉了 |
| [08:05] | Where did it go, Lizbo? | 它去哪了 莉茨宝 |
| [08:07] | It’s right there. | 在那里 |
| [08:09] | There it is! | 在这里呢 |
| [08:13] | No, Fizbo! No! | 不 菲茨宝 不要 |
| [08:15] | What? I’m just putting my hat back on, Lizbo. | 怎么了 我拿回了我的帽子 莉茨宝 |
| [08:19] | Oh, my — | 天呐 |
| [08:20] | Confetti — | 五彩纸屑 |
| [08:21] | I hope Fizbo knows how to vacuum. | 希望菲茨宝知道怎么用吸尘器 |
| [08:23] | Who turned out the lights?! | 谁把灯关了 |
| [08:26] | You’re just spreading it around. | 你把那些弄得到处都是 |
| [08:31] | I tried to be supportive for Lily. | 我试着对莉莉表示支持 |
| [08:33] | I really did, but I wanted to kill myself. | 我真的尝试了 但是我真的想死 |
| [08:45] | That’s not part of the routine. | 固定节目里没有这段 |
| [08:51] | She’s a natural. Do it again. | 她真有天赋 再来一次 |
| [08:58] | Okay, here we go. Nothing to it. | 好的 来吧 不要紧 |
| [09:02] | Make it rain. | 尿吧 |
| [09:04] | Yeah, I-I get it. | 好的 我明白 |
| [09:05] | You — you can’t pee with another guy looking at you. | 有别人看着你 你尿不出来 |
| [09:08] | Not a bad thing, by the way. | 这不是什么坏事 顺便说一句 |
| [09:12] | Son of a gun, his middle name was Clark. | 老天 胡佛的中间名原来是克拉克 |
| [09:15] | Jay! | 杰 |
| [09:16] | May we have some privacy, please? | 能给我们留点隐私吗 |
| [09:18] | For what? | 为什么 |
| [09:18] | So that Joe can keep chewing on the electrical cord? | 这样乔就可以继续咬电线了吗 |
| [09:23] | O-oh, we’re — we’re not clapping for this? | 我们 我们不为这鼓掌吗 |
| [09:25] | I told you that he was not ready, and when he is, | 我跟你说过他没准备好 |
| [09:28] | why don’t you let his mother take care of it? | 为什么不让他母亲来照看他呢 |
| [09:30] | You know, I raised two fully functional children. | 要知道 我养育了两个正常的孩子 |
| [09:32] | You have two kids that I don’t know about? | 你还有两个我不知道的孩子吗 |
| [09:35] | Please, just let Joe go on his own schedule. | 拜托 就让乔按部就班长大吧 |
| [09:38] | Manny learned to potty-train when he was 2 1/2. | 曼尼两岁半才学会用座便 |
| [09:41] | You told me it was 13 months. | 你跟我说是十三个月的时候 |
| [09:43] | I may have exaggerated a little bit. | 我可能是有点夸张了 |
| [09:45] | 2 1/2 isn’t advanced at all. | 两岁半一点也不超前 |
| [09:47] | What else did you exaggerate? | 你还夸张了什么事 |
| [09:49] | Did I really like Shakespeare when I was 3? | 我三岁的时候真的喜欢莎士比亚吗 |
| [09:51] | Not so much Shakespeare as Jello. | 比起莎士比亚来 你更喜欢果冻 |
| [09:53] | Was my first word really “Latte”? | 我说的第一个词真的是”拿铁”吗 |
| [09:54] | Not so much “Latte” as “Jello.” | 不是”拿铁” 是”果冻” |
| [09:56] | Oh, my god. I’m normal. | 天呐 我就是个正常人 |
| [09:58] | Trust me, kid, no one’s saying that about you. | 相信我 孩子 没人觉得你正常 |
| [10:01] | Why did you tell me all those things? | 那你为什么要那样跟我说 |
| [10:02] | To give you confidence. | 为了提升你的自信心 |
| [10:03] | You needed it because you were having | 你很需要自信 因为当时 |
| [10:05] | so much trouble learning how to read. | 你学识字遇到了很大的困难 |
| [10:07] | This makes no sense. | 这说不通啊 |
| [10:08] | Yes, that what you always used to say. | 是的 你以前也总这么说 |
| [10:19] | I wasn’t deterred. | 我并没有灰心 |
| [10:20] | I knew Lily had what it took to be a great clown. | 我知道莉莉拥有成为优秀小丑的天份 |
| [10:24] | I mean… | 还用问吗 |
| [10:25] | She just needed to find her persona, | 她只是需要找到适合自己的形象 |
| [10:27] | and that process can be painful, especially for me. | 过程可能会很痛苦 尤其对我来说 |
| [10:37] | Ohh, Lily! | 莉莉 |
| [10:53] | Good morning, neighbors. | 早安 邻居们 |
| [10:55] | Beautiful day, huh? | 天气真好 |
| [10:56] | Don’t even try to sweet-talk us. | 嘴里抹了蜜也没用 |
| [10:59] | This tacky boat ain’t going anywhere. | 这艘俗船哪里也不会去 |
| [11:02] | Hey, what’s that? | 那是什么 |
| [11:03] | I don’t know. What could it be? | 我不知道 会是什么呢 |
| [11:11] | Phil is not a vindictive guy. | 菲尔不是那种报复心很重的人 |
| [11:13] | He still listens to Milli Vanilli. | 他现在还会听米利瓦尼利的歌 |
| [11:14] | It’s a scandal I can dance to. | 我可以对着这丑闻起舞 |
| [11:17] | But Ronnie and Amber don’t deserve nice Phil. | 可罗尼和安布尔不配见友好版菲尔 |
| [11:18] | They dissed my woman, | 他们对我的女人不敬 |
| [11:19] | so I called in the big guns. | 所以我请了大人物来对付他们 |
| [11:21] | You are so sexy right now. | 你现在真性感 |
| [11:23] | Girl, you know it’s true. | 姑娘 你知道事实如此[米利瓦尼利经典歌名] |
| [11:25] | Oh, there it goes. | 又恢复老样子了 |
| [11:30] | Is that my son | 那是我儿子吗 |
| [11:31] | or am I looking in the world’s most flattering mirror? | 还是世界上最让人心花怒放的镜子 |
| [11:34] | That’s funny and uplifting! | 真是风趣又振奋人心 |
| [11:36] | It is! | 当然 |
| [11:38] | Thanks for coming so fast. | 多谢你这么快就过来 |
| [11:40] | Oh. Where were you when we called? | 我们打给你的时候你在哪 |
| [11:41] | Who knows? It all looks the same. | 谁知道 看起来都一样 |
| [11:42] | Either Arizona or New Mexico. | 不是亚利桑那州就是新墨西哥州 |
| [11:44] | Or maybe even regular Mexico. | 甚至有可能是真的墨西哥 |
| [11:46] | Thanks for coming, fellas. | 多谢你们能来 各位 |
| [11:48] | – Hey, guys. – Grandpa! | -你们好 -爷爷 |
| [11:49] | There’s my little girls. How are you? | 我的小姑娘们来了 你们好吗 |
| [11:53] | What the hell is this? | 这是什么意思 |
| [11:54] | We see your driveway boat | 我们看到你停车位上的船 |
| [11:56] | and raise you a convoy of retirees. | 所以帮你找了群退休老人来护航 |
| [11:59] | Oh, I want to have three more of your babies. | 我想再给你生三个孩子 |
| [12:02] | How was your road trip? | 你的自驾游怎么样 |
| [12:03] | The highlight came in Branson, Missouri, | 亮点在密苏里州的布兰森 |
| [12:05] | when Victor rear-ended Yakov Smirnoff’s S.U.V. | 维克托追尾了雅科夫·斯米诺夫的越野车 |
| [12:09] | The exchange of information was hilarious, | 交换信息的过程超搞笑 |
| [12:12] | but frustrating. | 但也很累人 |
| [12:13] | I don’t understand anything that’s happening. | 我完全听不懂发生了什么 |
| [12:15] | “In my country, | “在我的国家 |
| [12:16] | car has insurance for me.” | 车给我上保险” |
| [12:18] | that sort of thing. | 这一类的 |
| [12:20] | Just laugh. | 笑就好了 |
| [12:21] | One day, we’ll treasure these moments. | 某天我们会怀念这个时刻的 |
| [12:24] | I guess you guys convinced us. | 你们说服我了 |
| [12:25] | It’s awesome having Giant recreational vehicles | 在前院里摆一个大型消遣性交通工具 |
| [12:28] | in your front yard. | 真的很棒 |
| [12:30] | Oh, we see what you two are doing. | 我们知道你们打什么主意了 |
| [12:31] | You’re gonna see a whole lot more, | 好戏还在后面呢 |
| [12:32] | ’cause these old guys like to do Tai Chi in shorty robes. | 这些老家伙们喜欢穿着短款睡袍耍太极 |
| [12:36] | This ain’t gonna work. I like hanging with old people. | 没用的 我喜欢跟老人家玩 |
| [12:39] | Makes me feel in-shape. | 让我感觉自己身材特好 |
| [12:40] | They can’t sleep and they can’t hear. | 他们睡不着还听不见 |
| [12:43] | They’re gonna be blasting talk radio all night long. | 所以会整晚都开着收音机 |
| [12:45] | When I get drunk, I snore real loud, | 我喝醉以后打呼特别响 |
| [12:48] | so I won’t hear a thing. | 所以什么都听不见 |
| [12:50] | We just wanted to give you a taste | 我们就是想让你体会一下 |
| [12:51] | of what it’s like to have you for a neighbor. | 跟你做邻居是什么感觉 |
| [12:54] | I love how close together all our mouths are. | 我喜欢我们的嘴凑这么近 |
| [12:56] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [12:58] | Hey, dad, what’s the — | 爸 那个 |
| [13:00] | What’s the plot of that Rita Hayworth movie? | 丽塔·海华丝那个电影讲啥来着 |
| [13:02] | My friends here were wondering. | 我朋友很想知道 |
| [13:03] | That’s my cue. | 我们的暗号 |
| [13:04] | Time to help my boy get rid of a boat. | 该去帮我儿子处理船的事了 |
| [13:06] | Uh, “Lady from Shanghai”? | 《上海小姐》 |
| [13:09] | That’s the one. | 就是那部 |
| [13:10] | I-I can’t remember all the details. | 我记不清细节了 |
| [13:12] | Pretty sure there was a horse in that movie. | 不过里面肯定有匹马 |
| [13:14] | Or was it a baby? | 还是个婴儿来着 |
| [13:15] | Funny thing — none of it was in Shanghai. | 搞笑的是 这些都不在上海 |
| [13:19] | Or was all of it in Shanghai? | 还是都在上海来着 |
| [13:21] | Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. | 好吧 我讲到哪里了 对了 |
| [13:22] | So, either the horse or this baby… | 所以 不管是马还是婴儿 |
| [13:27] | I’m just putting these in the car. | 我要把这些放进车里 |
| [13:29] | I help underprivileged kids lift weights. | 我帮穷人家的孩子练举重 |
| [13:31] | You can’t even drive yet. | 你连车都不会开呢 |
| [13:33] | Okay, you know my secret. What’s yours? | 好吧 你知道了我的秘密 你的呢 |
| [13:36] | Do you honestly think any of this is gonna work? | 你真觉得这种方式会有用吗 |
| [13:39] | I don’t know what I’m doing. | 我不知道自己在干什么 |
| [13:41] | I-I have no clue what to say when I’m around you, | 在你身边我都不知道该怎么说话了 |
| [13:45] | but I think about you all the time. | 可我一直在想你 |
| [13:49] | Fine. Here’s my secret. | 好吧 我的秘密是这个 |
| [13:54] | I put all these walls up and act tough, | 我装得这么高冷 |
| [13:57] | but… I’ve never really been with a boy before. | 可其实 我从来没跟男生恋爱过 |
| [14:01] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [14:02] | Because I’ve never been with a girl. | 我也没有跟女孩恋爱过 |
| [14:04] | oh, my God. Pathetic. | 天呐 真可悲 |
| [14:06] | Run home to your mommy, you little bitch. | 回家找妈妈去吧 小婊砸 |
| [14:13] | Is Lizbo in here? | 莉茨宝在里面吗 |
| [14:13] | I think she’s in our room. | 她应该在我们房间 |
| [14:16] | Cam. | 小卡 |
| [14:17] | You know, you wouldn’t be in this position | 如果你没有背着我行动的话 |
| [14:18] | if you hadn’t gone behind my back. | 就不会落到这般田地 |
| [14:19] | I wouldn’t be in this position if I had… | 如果我丈夫足够支持我 |
| [14:23] | a supportive husband. | 我也不会落到这般田地 |
| [14:25] | Okay. Really, I would love to hear how this is my fault. | 我倒想听听看 这怎么成了我的错 |
| [14:28] | Yesterday, Lily performed her heart out for you. | 昨天 莉莉非常用心地为你表演 |
| [14:31] | She was so excited to do that broom routine, | 能表演扫帚把戏她很激动 |
| [14:33] | and you gave her nothing. | 可你毫无反应 |
| [14:35] | So she got desperate, | 她感到失望 |
| [14:36] | and she resorted to mean-spirited gags. | 于是开始做一些攻击性的表演 |
| [14:38] | And then all of a sudden, guess what. | 接着 就在一瞬间 你猜怎么着 |
| [14:40] | You’re Mister Mcgiggles! | 你就成了笑笑先生[游戏人物] |
| [14:41] | Oh, is he like an uncle to you? | 这个人物是不是就像你叔叔 |
| [14:44] | You know what hurt the most is that my husband | 我最失望的一点就是 我丈夫居然 |
| [14:46] | turned our daughter against something that I love. | 想让我们的女儿也讨厌我的爱好 |
| [14:54] | Guys, we appreciate all your help, | 我们很感激你们的帮助 |
| [14:56] | but you probably shouldn’t be up there. | 但你们不该在上面啊 |
| [14:58] | I don’t mind. | 我不介意 |
| [15:01] | Is that weed I smell? | 那是大麻的味道吗 |
| [15:02] | Wait, you gave them pot? | 你居然卖毒品给他们 |
| [15:03] | No, I run a legitimate business. | 别瞎说 我的生意完全合法 |
| [15:05] | I’m not gonna risk it for that. | 我才不会冒这个险 |
| [15:06] | They brought their own. | 这些是他们自带的 |
| [15:07] | Dad? | 老爸 |
| [15:08] | – Not me, son. – It’s me and Victor. | -不是我 -是我和维克托 |
| [15:11] | Makes my arthritis feel better. | 这能缓解我的关节痛 |
| [15:14] | And I’m in remission from being lame. | 而我还在缓解我的懒惰 |
| [15:17] | Here’s your beer, Frank. | 弗兰克 你的啤酒 |
| [15:18] | – Thank you, Ronnie. – Right on. | -罗尼 谢谢 -不客气 |
| [15:19] | Here you go, guys. Pigs in a blanket. | 上菜啦 这是猪包毯 |
| [15:20] | Thank you, darling. | 谢谢 |
| [15:22] | What are you guys doing?! | 你们在干什么 |
| [15:23] | You’re supposed to be annoying them. | 你的任务是惹怒他们 |
| [15:25] | – These guys could never annoy me. – What? | -他们不会惹怒我的 -什么 |
| [15:27] | Oh, Ronnie! | 罗尼 |
| [15:30] | Sorry, son, it turns out Ronnie’s a fellow army man. | 抱歉儿子 罗尼居然也当过兵 |
| [15:33] | Plus, at our age, | 何况到了我们这个年纪 |
| [15:34] | it’s tough not to like someone who pays attention to us. | 我们很难讨厌关心老人的人 |
| [15:37] | Unbelievable. | 难以置信 |
| [15:39] | I should have known better. | 我早该猜到的 |
| [15:40] | My dad’s too loveable. | 我爸就是这么受人喜爱 |
| [15:41] | It’s always been his biggest flaw. | 这是他最大的缺点 |
| [15:44] | Hey, smells like a party! | 闻上去好像在开派对啊 |
| [15:46] | Back inside. | 回屋去 |
| [15:46] | Okay, then. | 遵命 |
| [15:57] | *Take your body down to the potty* | *乖乖坐到马桶上* |
| [16:00] | *To have some fun and go number one* | *一起嘘嘘乐趣多* |
| [16:05] | What is this filth? | 这都是些什么啊 |
| [16:06] | I tried everything, | 我什么都试过了 |
| [16:07] | videos, books, parenting websites. | 视频 书籍 家教网站 |
| [16:09] | I even tried to make a game out of it. | 我连改编游戏都试过了 |
| [16:11] | Nothing could get that kid to use the toilet. | 还是没办法让他学会用马桶 |
| [16:13] | By the way, do not search “Peeing games” on the internet. | 另外 千万别在网上搜索”尿尿游戏” |
| [16:18] | Okay, Joe, what’s it gonna be? I’m a wealthy man. | 乔 你想要什么 我不缺钱 |
| [16:21] | Just give me a number. | 告诉我你要多少 |
| [16:22] | Seven. | 七 |
| [16:23] | I just found out that’s how old I was | 我刚刚发现 |
| [16:25] | when I learned to tie my shoes. | 原来我七岁才学会系鞋带 |
| [16:27] | Not 2, like I was told. | 不是你告诉我的两岁 |
| [16:29] | Okay, please, Manny. | 曼尼 别这样 |
| [16:31] | I might have exaggerated a little bit, | 我可能是夸张了点 |
| [16:33] | but I do that all the time. | 但我一直都这样 |
| [16:35] | Columbia actually is a very normal place. | 哥伦比亚其实是个很正常的国家 |
| [16:37] | My accomplishments are all lies. | 我的成就都是假的 |
| [16:39] | I can only deal with one traumatized child at a time. | 我一次只能安慰一个受伤的孩子 |
| [16:42] | Please, Jay, let that poor baby off the toilet. | 杰 放过那可怜的孩子吧 |
| [16:46] | Okay, new plan– | 新计划 |
| [16:47] | we leave him on the throne till he conks out, | 我们就让他待在这里直到他昏睡过去 |
| [16:49] | then we dunk his hand in a bowl of warm water– | 然后把他的手放进一碗温水里 |
| [16:52] | That’s crazy. | 你疯了 |
| [16:53] | You know that you can’t rush these things. | 你知道这种事急不来的 |
| [16:56] | You did it before with Claire and with Mitch. | 抚养克莱尔和米奇时你经历过的 |
| [17:00] | I don’t think he did, mom. | 我不这么认为 |
| [17:01] | Yes, he did, right? | 他经历过 对吧 |
| [17:03] | Well, I was a little busy building a closet empire. | 我忙着发展自己的衣柜事业 |
| [17:06] | And racquetball was pretty big back then. | 当时又很流行壁球 |
| [17:08] | Maybe that’s why this is so important to you. | 也许这就是为何你如此看中此事 |
| [17:11] | You missed so many milestones in their lives, | 你错过了他们人生中的重要阶段 |
| [17:13] | you don’t want to miss them with Joe. | 你不想在乔的身上也发生这种事 |
| [17:15] | This is your second chance. | 这是你的第二次机会 |
| [17:17] | But don’t worry, Jay. He knows you love him. | 别担心 杰 他知道你爱他 |
| [17:19] | I’d like him to remember that I’m there for him. | 我想让他知道 我一直在他身边 |
| [17:23] | I mean, who knows if I’ll get another chance. | 谁知道我还有没有第二次机会 |
| [17:24] | I know. You won’t. | 我知道 你不会的 |
| [17:27] | And he won’t have to remember you | 他也不用记得这些 |
| [17:29] | because you’re always going to be here. | 因为你会一直在他身边 |
| [17:32] | Forget it. | 忘了吧 |
| [17:32] | Come on. Let’s give it a rest. | 休息一下 |
| [17:34] | The poor kid, all that pressure I put on him. | 可怜的宝宝 我给了他这么大压力 |
| [17:36] | Especially his bladder. | 尤其是他的膀胱 |
| [17:37] | You’ve probably got a gallon of apple juice in there, buddy. | 你肚子里估计憋了一加仑的苹果汁 |
| [17:41] | Did you see that? | 你发现了吗 |
| [17:42] | Did you see how you understood Jay? | 你发现自己多么理解杰了吗 |
| [17:44] | That’s what makes you so special. | 这就是你的特别之处 |
| [17:47] | Anyone can learn how to walk | 任何人都可以学会走路 |
| [17:49] | or pee in a potty. | 或是对着尿壶撒尿 |
| [17:50] | You’re the most sensitive and insightful person I have ever known, | 你是我所知的最敏感 最具洞察力的人 |
| [17:54] | and you have always been. | 你一直都是这样 |
| [17:56] | Come here, papi. | 过来抱抱 小宝贝 |
| [17:58] | He’s peeing! | 他在撒尿 |
| [17:59] | – He’s peeing! – My little genius! | -他在撒尿 -我的小天才 |
| [18:01] | I knew you could do it, buddy! | 我就知道你能做到的 小家伙 |
| [18:03] | ay, Jay, he’s not done. | 杰 他还没撒完呢 |
| [18:04] | Aw, hell. It’s all over me. | 我靠 撒我一身 |
| [18:06] | Would you take him? | 你能抱着他吗 |
| [18:12] | Lily! | 莉莉 |
| [18:12] | – Oh, it’s you. – Okay. | -是你啊 -行了 |
| [18:14] | Come here. Come on. Let’s have a little talk. | 过来 来 我们好好谈谈 |
| [18:16] | All right, I know that I have been laughing | 听着 我知道你在对大爸 |
| [18:19] | at some of the stuff that you’ve been doing to daddy, | 实施整盅行为时 我也笑了 |
| [18:20] | but I shouldn’t have. | 但我不该笑的 |
| [18:22] | I know that you love this, | 我知道你很喜欢这样 |
| [18:23] | but I don’t want you to be the type of clown that hurts people. | 但我不希望你成为那种伤害别人的小丑 |
| [18:26] | I don’t do that to make you laugh. | 我那么做不是为了逗你笑 |
| [18:28] | You don’t? | 你不是吗 |
| [18:29] | Well, then why do you do it? | 那你为什么那么做 |
| [18:32] | I hate it. I don’t want to be a clown. | 我很讨厌那样 我不想当小丑的 |
| [18:34] | It’s so weird. | 真的好古怪 |
| [18:35] | Oh, are you serious? | 你是说真的吗 |
| [18:36] | The jokes aren’t funny | 那些笑话一点都不好笑 |
| [18:38] | And everybody’s all, | 每个人还在叫喊着 |
| [18:39] | “Honk, honk, ah-ooga, wah, wah.” | “滴滴 叭叭 乌拉 乌拉” |
| [18:41] | Oh, Lily, I love you so much. Oh, my gosh. | 我好爱你 天啊 |
| [18:43] | W-w-why didn’t you just tell him? | 那你为什么不直接告诉他啊 |
| [18:45] | I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. | 我不想伤害他的感情 |
| [18:47] | So I figured if I was a bad clown, | 我心想如果我是个糟糕的小丑 |
| [18:49] | he’d want me to stop. | 他就会让我放弃的 |
| [18:50] | Oh, honey, you don’t have to worry about that. | 亲爱的 你不用担心这个的 |
| [18:52] | He’ll understand. | 他会理解的 |
| [18:53] | You don’t have to do what daddy does. | 你不必对大爸言听计从的 |
| [18:54] | You just need to tell him the truth. | 你只需要告诉他实话就行了 |
| [18:56] | – Tell me the truth about what? – Nothing! | -告诉我关于什么的实话啊 -没什么 |
| [18:58] | No, Lily, it’s — it’s okay. | 不 莉莉 没关系的 |
| [19:02] | I’m sorry, daddy, but I think I want to stop being a clown. | 很抱歉 大爸 但我不想再当小丑了 |
| [19:07] | Oh, but why? Y-you loved it. | 为什么啊 你明明很喜欢啊 |
| [19:10] | Because… | 因为… |
| [19:12] | Because I’ll never be as good as Fizbo. | 因为我永远无法像菲茨宝那么出色 |
| [19:15] | He’s just so funny and special and magical. | 他那么有趣 特别 又充满魔力 |
| [19:19] | Sweetie — well, listen. | 亲爱的 听着 |
| [19:22] | Fizbo is very special. | 菲茨宝确实独具一格 |
| [19:25] | But you shouldn’t | 但你也不用想着 |
| [19:26] | expect to be as good as he is right away. | 立马就变得像他那么出色啊 |
| [19:29] | It’s too much pressure. | 压力太大了 |
| [19:32] | Maybe I’ll try again when I’m older. | 或许等我长大一些了再试试吧 |
| [19:36] | Coming up with a lie like that in the moment — | 电光火石之间就想出那么美丽的一个谎言 |
| [19:38] | That girl is no clown. | 那丫头绝对不是小丑 |
| [19:40] | She’s gonna be a lawyer. | 她会成为一名律师的 |
| [19:45] | Hey, neighbor. | 好啊 邻居 |
| [19:47] | Just wanted to say I had a really good time | 我只是想说 我们昨晚跟你爸一起 |
| [19:49] | hanging with your dad last night. | 真的玩得很开心 |
| [19:51] | You don’t need to rub it in. | 你不用来刺激我的 |
| [19:51] | I heard it all night — you guys singing “Chantilly Lace.” | 我整晚都听到你们在唱”尚蒂伊蕾丝” |
| [19:54] | No, I’m serious. | 不 我说真的 |
| [19:56] | We had a long talk. | 我们长谈了一番 |
| [19:57] | Your dad and his buddies, they’re good people. | 你爸和他的朋友们 他们都是好人 |
| [20:00] | They played the whole army card. | 他们提到了军队什么什么的 |
| [20:01] | And, well, I’m gonna do the honorable thing | 我打算做件高尚的事 |
| [20:04] | and, uh, move the boat. | 把船移走 |
| [20:07] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [20:08] | Yeah, my brother says I can keep it in his driveway. | 是啊 我兄弟说可以放在他家车道上 |
| [20:10] | He hates his neighbor. | 他憎恶他的邻居 |
| [20:12] | I think your dad’s right. | 我觉得你爸说的对 |
| [20:13] | We should start being better to one another. | 我们应该对彼此好一点 |
| [20:15] | I couldn’t agree more. | 我举双手赞成 |
| [20:16] | I think you’ll see, Once you get to know us, | 我相信你一定会明白 一旦你熟悉我们 |
| [20:18] | we’re good people, too… | 我们其实也是好人 |
| [20:23] | There’s no smoke. | 根本没烟啊 |
| [20:24] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [20:24] | Okay, folks. | 好了 各位 |
| [20:26] | Who owns the boat? | 船是谁的 |
| [20:27] | He — uh, that would be me. | 他…是我的 |
| [20:29] | Why? Is there a problem? | 怎么 有什么问题吗 |
| [20:30] | Technically, you can’t store it here, | 严格说 你不能放置在这里 |
| [20:31] | and some crazy lady keeps calling. | 某个疯婆子不断打电话报警 |
| [20:33] | Hi, officer. What’s going on out here? | 嗨 警官 什么情况啊 |
| [20:37] | Wait, you guys narc’d on us! | 等等 你们报了缉毒警 |
| [20:38] | No, I brought you banana bread! | 没有 我还给你拿了香蕉面包呢 |
| [20:40] | It was her! | 是她 |
| [20:41] | Now who’s the narc? | 谁是缉毒警啊 |
| [20:42] | Claire, that’s pretty uncool. | 克莱尔 你这也太缺德了 |
| [20:44] | Super uncool! You guys are lame! | 超缺德的 你们也太差劲了 |
| [20:46] | I’m also gonna have to write up these rvs. | 我还得给这些房车开罚单 |
| [20:48] | – Oh no. – What? No. | -不是吧 -什么 不要啊 |
| [20:49] | I’m holding. I’m making a walk for it. | 我这儿有货 我先撤了 |