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摩登家庭(Modern Family)第8季第16集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月12日 By jubentaici_movie_user 摩登家庭(Modern Family)第8季第16集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
目录
S01E01
S01E02
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时间 英文 中文
[00:01] Are you sure we need that much ice, buddy? 你确定我们需要加这么多冰吗 儿子
[00:03] All NBA players use cold water immersion therapy. 所有美国职篮球员都用冷水浸浴法
[00:06] Let’s do it. 来吧
[00:09] You’re right. It’s not that b– 你说得对 也没那么…
[00:11] One year ago today, I had the chance to be a hero. 一年前的今天 我有机会成为英雄
[00:15] It was the annual high school charity basketball game — 那是年度高中慈善篮球比赛
[00:17] parents versus teachers. 家长对战老师
[00:19] We were raising money for Mrs. Martin in the attendance office 我们在为出勤率办公室的马丁太太筹钱
[00:21] who lost her house in a mudslide. 泥石流冲垮了她的房子
[00:24] One minute it was present, the next it was absent. 房子前一分钟还”出席” 下一分钟就”缺席”了
[00:27] Down 2, a second left, I was fouled. 我们落后两分 比赛只剩一秒钟 我来罚球
[00:30] The game was in my hands. 胜负就在我手中
[00:35] I crumbled under the pressure. 在巨大的压力之下 我掉链子了
[00:37] I’ve waited a year for my shot at redemption 这赎罪的机会我等了一年
[00:39] and left nothing to chance. 这次我不要留任何弱点
[00:41] Harder! 下手重点
[00:42] I have worked out like a madman — 我像疯子一样锻炼
[00:45] passing and dribbling drills, agility training… 传球运球训练 敏捷训练
[00:48] …and I top it all off with 100 free throws every day… 最厉害的是 我每天练习100个罚球
[00:54] …no matter how tired I am. 无论我那天有多累
[01:00] It had been a year of painful training, but I was ready. 我经历了一年的痛苦训练 但我已经准备好了
[01:18] I spilled juice on the rug. Please don’t tell Mama. 我把果汁洒在地毯上了 请别告诉妈妈
[01:23] Don’t tell Mama? 别告诉妈妈
[01:25] What about “Don’t tell Papa?” 怎么不说别告诉爸爸
[01:27] A boy is supposed to fear his father. 男孩应该害怕自己的父亲
[01:29] I shook in my boots around my old man, 在我爸爸身边 我瑟瑟发抖
[01:31] just like he did around his. 他在他爸爸身边也是如此
[01:32] To this day, I hear the crack of a Schlitz 直到今天 我听见打开施丽兹啤酒的声音
[01:36] or smell some Singleton’s Beard Tonic, 或者闻到辛格尔顿须后水的味道时
[01:38] and I’m sweating like a mob rat in Little Italy. 都会像小意大利区的黑帮叛徒一样浑身出汗
[01:47] Ow! Oh, tripped! 我绊倒了
[01:48] Enough! 够了
[01:50] How many times have I told you to pick up your toys? 要我跟你说多少次你才会捡起你的玩具
[01:52] You’re funny! 你真搞笑
[01:54] Enough! Pick up the toys! 够了 捡起玩具
[02:00] Gloria! What a surprise! 歌洛莉亚 真是惊喜
[02:04] There’s a mom at Manny’s school 曼尼的学校有个妈妈
[02:05] that I’ve had some problems with. 我跟她不太对盘
[02:07] She’s your typical blonde airhead Barbie doll doctor. 她就是典型的金发傻帽芭比娃娃医生
[02:11] Hola, Donna. 你好啊 唐娜
[02:12] Did you wander in by mistake? 你是不小心逛到这里来了吗
[02:14] You know they don’t sell shoes here. 这里可不卖鞋
[02:16] Oh, no, I see you buy a lot of hot dogs. 天啊 你买这么多热狗
[02:18] It’s so sad when someone just gives up. 你就这样放弃保持身材真是太惨了
[02:21] I’m selling these at the high school charity basketball game. 我要在高中慈善篮球赛上卖这些
[02:24] Poor Mrs. Martin. 可怜的马丁太太
[02:25] This year we’re raising money to get her a new kidney 今年我们要为她筹钱换肾
[02:28] So, can we count on you? 我们能指望你吗
[02:29] For the kidney? 捐肾吗
[02:31] To write a check, like you always do. 写张捐款支票 就跟你以前一样
[02:34] Yes. 行啊
[02:34] Money is almost as good as actually doing something. 捐钱几乎算得上和做实事一样好呢
[02:40] $40 at the estate sale? Can you believe that? 房地产拍卖会上40美元买的 你敢信吗
[02:41] Like, there’s no way you’d even notice. 你根本不会发现是拍卖品
[02:44] Dad, hi. 爸爸 好啊
[02:45] Turn on channel 12. 打开12频道
[02:47] It’s an expose on cheap lumber 新闻曝光了一种
[02:49] that’s got some chemical in it that’s making people sick, 内含致人生病的化学制品的廉价木材
[02:51] and Closets, Closets, Closets, Closets bought a bunch of it. “衣柜衣柜衣柜衣柜”公司买了许多
[02:55] Oh, look — There’s Earl’s daughter, Shirl. 瞧瞧 是厄尔的女儿雪莉
[02:58] We caught with the local man 我们采访了这位
[02:59] who reported flu-like symptoms 与受污染的木材接触之后
[03:00] after contact with the tainted wood. 出现了类流感症状的当地男子
[03:03] I just wanted to give my wife 我只是想给我妻子做一个
[03:04] a closet as beautiful as she is. 跟她一样美丽的衣柜
[03:08] Didn’t we buy some of — 我们不是买了一些…
[03:09] Can you believe Earl’s dum-dum daughter 你能相信厄尔的蠢货女儿
[03:12] bought wood from those bozos? 从那些笨蛋手里买了木材吗
[03:14] Of course, when you two were growing up, 当然啦 你俩长大时
[03:15] she was always the slow one. 她一直都是比较笨的那个
[03:17] You remember when she thought that balloon was her friend? 你记得她把那气球当她朋友吗
[03:20] Balloon-da Carlisle. 气球达·卡莱尔
[03:22] Right. Well, back to it, Dad. 好吧 我继续忙了 爸爸
[03:24] See you later. 回头见
[03:26] I knew that deal was too good to be true. 我就知道那木头这么划算 肯定有鬼
[03:29] And now I’m gonna look as stupid as a girl 现在我看起来就要跟一个
[03:31] who pet two different class rabbits to death. 把班里的两只兔子都抚摸死的女孩一样蠢了
[03:33] A spot of tea, sir? 喝点茶吗 先生
[03:35] Only if it’s the fancy kind. 是上等的我就喝
[03:37] Oh, my God. 我的天
[03:38] How good have our accents gotten? 我们的英音都变得这么熟练了
[03:39] – It’s insane. – Yeah. -太不可思议了 -是啊
[03:41] When Haley was 4, she and I had our first tea party, 海莉4岁的时候 我们办了第一次茶话会
[03:44] and since then, we’ve made it a tradition 从那以后 我们把茶话会变成了传统
[03:46] to meet for high tea once a year. 每年都一起喝一次下午茶
[03:48] It’s a time I’ve really come to cherish. 我真的很珍惜这些时光
[03:50] I don’t love the whole tea thing. 我不喜欢他们这个什么茶话会
[03:52] Mitchell and Haley always come back giggling 米奇尔和海莉总是分享秘密
[03:53] over shared secrets, and I feel left out. 说说笑笑地回来 我觉得我被排挤在外
[03:57] I once tried to start my own uncle-niece tradition, but… 我试过自己搞一个舅舅侄女传统活动 但
[04:02] I’m not questioning the methodology 我不是质疑加速质谱法
[04:03] behind accelerated mass spectrometry. 背后的方法论
[04:05] I’m merely pointing out that it’s not singular 我只是单纯指出不是只有这个方法
[04:07] in its power to separate a rare isotope 才能够从丰度高的其他同位素中
[04:08] from an abundant neighboring mass. 分离出稀有的同位素
[04:11] What’s going on with you and that handsome weatherman? 你和那个帅气的天气预报员交往得怎么样
[04:14] Things are great, mostly. 大部分时候都很好
[04:16] Yeah. 挺好的
[04:16] Oh. “mostly”? “大部分时候”
[04:18] Well, what’s-what’s going on? 遇到什么问题了吗
[04:19] I mean, do you think it’s okay for your partner 你能接受你的伴侣
[04:23] to ask you to do… anything? 对你提出的任何要求吗
[04:27] Mm, no. Not anything anything. 不能 不是任何要求都能接受
[04:29] I mean, we all have our boundaries. 我们都有个人界限
[04:30] I mean, there are still things I wouldn’t ask Cam to do. 还是有些事是我不会叫小卡去做的
[04:33] Okay. So, um, Rainer and I 好吧 是这样的 某天晚上
[04:35] were in bed the other night, and… 雷纳和我躺在床上 然后…
[04:37] And? 然后怎么
[04:39] He asked me to do something 他叫我做某件
[04:40] I’m not totally comfortable with. 让我有点不舒服的事
[04:42] What’d he ask you to do? 他叫你做什么了
[04:44] No-No judgments. Just whenever you’re ready. 我不会评头论足的 你准备好了再说
[04:47] So, he was lying on his side, 他当时侧躺着
[04:49] and he said that that was part of it, 他说要以那种体位才能做
[04:50] and then he asked me to c- 然后他叫我c…
[04:53] Haley! 海莉
[04:55] What’d he ask you to do? 他叫你做什么
[04:55] Quick, write it down on this napkin. 快 写在这张餐巾纸上
[04:56] Rainer, what are you doing here? 雷纳 你怎么来了
[04:58] You left your earbuds in my car. 你把耳机落在我车里了
[05:00] I know you like to use them to ignore people. 我知道你喜欢以它们为借口来无视别人
[05:02] Do you want to join us? 你想和我们一起喝茶吗
[05:03] – You don’t mind, do you, Uncle Mitch? – No! -你不介意吧 米奇舅舅 -怎么会
[05:11] It feels weird to be back here. 回到这里的感觉太奇怪了
[05:13] This gym got the better of me once. 我曾败在这间体育馆里
[05:15] Dad, you’re psyching yourself out. 爸 你又要把自己逼疯了
[05:17] You’re right. 你说得对
[05:18] The only thing different between this year and last 今年与去年唯一的区别
[05:20] is I’m prepared this year. 是今年我有备而来
[05:22] And DeAndre Jordan and Charles Barkley are here. 德安德鲁·乔丹和查尔斯·巴克利也来了
[05:26] Is this where we get our hand stamped? 是在这里盖已买票的章吗
[05:28] Sometimes I like to leave and come back to things. 有时候我喜欢去别的地方逛逛再回来
[05:31] Uh, why-why are you here? 你们怎么来了
[05:33] Our agent’s wife is a math teacher at the school. 我们经纪人的妻子是这所学校的数学老师
[05:35] Let’s go get our seats. 咱去占座吧
[05:36] We don’t want anybody to block us. 我们不想被人们挡住视线
[05:38] Yeah, yeah. I-I get that. 是啊 我懂
[05:41] So, I’m playing in front of two NBA stars? 所以我得在大牌职篮球星面前打球吗
[05:43] Plus, once people know they’re here, 还有 一旦人们听说他们在这
[05:45] the crowd will be like five times the size it was last year. 围观群众肯定会比去年多五倍
[05:47] Well, we still live in a world with a fire marshal. 消防局长不会让这么多人挤在馆里的
[05:50] Wait. 等等
[05:50] They’re probably just here to show their faces 没准他们只是来露个脸
[05:51] and make a quick exit… 站个台就走了
[05:54] Dad, don’t let them faze you. 爸 别被他们影响
[05:56] This is what you’ve trained for. 你为此艰苦训练过
[05:57] You’re ready. 你准备好了
[05:58] You’re right. 你说得对
[05:59] I just need to shake the jitters off a little bit. 我只要放松一下就好了
[06:01] I got you, Larry. 交给我 拉里
[06:03] Spot up. 定点跳投
[06:04] No! 不
[06:06] Gloria? Is that you? 歌洛莉亚 真的是你吗
[06:09] My brain’s having a hard time processing you in this context. 我的大脑不能接受你出现在此情此景里
[06:12] Yeah, I came to sell my nachos to raise money. 我来卖玉米片筹善款
[06:15] How nice. 你人真好
[06:16] Although, some people are saying it’s too little too late, 尽管有人说你的努力来得太迟太少
[06:19] that you can’t just show up and get credit for it. 你不能来露个脸就指望能记上一功
[06:22] I think it’s mean, 我觉得这些话很刻薄
[06:23] but some people are saying it seems disingenuous. 但有些人说你看起来有点虚伪
[06:26] I just got here. 我刚到这
[06:27] When did you talk to all these people? 你是什么时候听这些人说这些话的
[06:29] I think you’ll find this crowd 我认为你会发现这些人
[06:30] no lika da nachos. 不宣[喜欢]玉米片
[06:32] I’m sorry if that sounds racist. 如果你觉得学口音很种族歧视 我感到抱歉
[06:33] No, it didn’t. 才没有呢
[06:34] I don’t even know what language you were trying to make fun of. 我根本就没听出你在取笑哪种语言
[06:38] Okay, since you’re not leaving, you can set up down there. 既然你不打算走 你可以在那支个摊
[06:42] No. 不
[06:43] It’s very dark, and it’s very far away! 那好黑 还很偏
[06:45] Good luck! 祝你好运
[06:47] Looks like that picture I Instagrammed of the three of us 看起来我发的咱仨的合照
[06:49] is a big hit with Rainer Nation. 挺受我粉丝欢迎呢
[06:51] And is it safe to post your location like that? 你就这么发定位安全吗
[06:53] Aren’t you worried about stalkers? 你难道不担心有人跟踪你
[06:55] Oh, no, it’s fine. 不会 没事的
[06:56] Most of my followers 我的大多数粉丝
[06:57] are just overly excited, love-starved old ladies. 都是些过度兴奋 极端缺爱的老女人
[06:59] Oh, I see your exclusive tea party opened up. 你们的独家茶话会对外开放了啊
[07:01] He just posted that. 他才刚发推特
[07:03] What, are you circling the restaurant? 你是在餐厅外兜圈等待吗
[07:04] Hey, Rainer Shine. 你好 雷纳·向恩
[07:06] You sat next to him at Thanksgiving. 感恩节的时候你就坐他旁边
[07:07] Right! Manny! Sit down. Join us. 对对 曼尼 快坐 一起啊
[07:09] Actually, Cam, could I talk to you for a second? 小卡 咱俩能单独聊会儿吗
[07:13] Okay, before Rainer walked in, 雷纳来之前
[07:15] Haley was about to tell me something upsetting 海莉正要说雷纳让她做的
[07:16] he asked her to do in the bedroom. 在床上某件令她感到略不舒服的事
[07:19] Now, I didn’t get much, but he asked her to c– 我没听到太多 他让她…
[07:22] To what? 什么
[07:23] He asked her to c– 他让她c…
[07:25] Are you kidding me? 开什么玩笑
[07:26] Okay, no one else come near us. Thank you. 都不要再靠近我俩了 谢谢合作
[07:28] That’s all she got out — “C–.” And then Rainer walked in. 她就说了个c 然后雷纳就闯进来了
[07:32] Well, we have to find out. 我们必须得问清楚
[07:34] As her uncles, we need all the information we can 作为她的舅舅 我们要掌握尽多的情况
[07:36] so we can advise her properly. 这样才能更好地给她作指导啊
[07:37] Yeah. She’s dating an older man. 没错 她约会对象比她大好多
[07:39] If she’s uncomfortable, it’s our duty to protect her. 如果她不舒服 我们有责任保护她
[07:41] Okay. So we said all that. 好 那我们达成一致
[07:43] What could “C–” be? c开头的词都有啥啊
[07:45] -Carrot? -Mnh-mnh. -萝卜 -不对
[07:46] Cupping? 杯吸法
[07:48] You don’t think it could be a Canadian long jump, do you? 你不会觉得是加拿大长跳吧
[07:50] What part would a woman play in that? 这招里并没有需要女人的地方啊
[07:55] That’s the last of the paper trail. 这是最后一份文件证据
[07:57] Great. 干得漂亮
[07:57] Okay, and so the red pins on this map mark 这个地图上的红别针标的
[07:59] all the locations of closets 是有毒木材制成的衣柜
[08:01] that were made with the toxic wood. 所发往的地点
[08:03] Okay, and we have recalled 我们已经召回了
[08:04] 9 out of 10 of the contaminated closets, 十个里我们已经召回九个了
[08:06] so we only have to track down one more. 我们只需追踪剩下的最后一个
[08:07] And since you didn’t ask, the green pins 既然你没问 绿色别针
[08:09] are all the addresses of potential fathers of mine. 是我所有的潜在父亲的住址
[08:12] Oh, hey. How’re you doing? 你们在干嘛呢
[08:14] Did I hear somebody using my shredder without signing it out? 我听说有人没登记就用了我的粉碎机
[08:18] No. 没
[08:18] Confetti!! 碎纸屑
[08:20] Hey! The kid doesn’t fear me as he should, 那孩子完全不怕我
[08:22] so I brought him in here 所以我把他带到这
[08:23] to show him my scary boss side. 让他看看我霸道总裁的一面
[08:24] -Play along. -Okay. -配合点 -好的
[08:25] Ben, how dumb do you think I am? 本 你觉得我是有多傻
[08:27] You found out? 你发现了吗
[08:27] Of course I found out. I know everything. 我当然发现了 我啥都知道
[08:29] It was her idea! 全是她的主意
[08:30] -Ben! -No, he’s doing great. -本 -不 他做得很好
[08:32] You’re in big trouble, mister. 你惹上大麻烦了 小子
[08:33] Jay, I’m so sorry. We were just trying to s– 杰 真的对不起 我们正要尽力
[08:34] Enough! 够了
[08:36] Come on, Joe! 我们走 乔
[08:37] Enough! 够了
[08:41] Could you have rolled over any faster? 你招供速度还能再更快点吗
[08:43] My dad didn’t know anything. 我爸什么都不知道
[08:44] That was just a big act for his kid. 这只是为了他小孩演的戏
[08:45] Yeah, I know. I was playing along to — 我知道 我只是配合演出
[08:47] Save it, okay? 得了吧
[08:48] Somewhere, one of these green pins is very disappointed. 绿色别针指的某个地方 有个很失望的老爸
[08:59] Nachos. Come get some nachos. 玉米片 来点玉米片吧
[09:02] No one even knew that I was back there. 根本没人知道我在后面
[09:05] You know it’s loud when you can’t hear my voice! 当你连我声音都听不到时 就知道有多吵了
[09:08] My goodness. 天啊
[09:09] At this rate, I’ll break my own sales record. 照这样 我要打破自己的销售记录了
[09:12] Hola. Do you guys want to try some nachos? 你们好 想来点玉米片不
[09:15] That sounds pretty good. 听起来不错啊
[09:16] Ugh, you are so transparent, Glenn. 你的贼心也太一目了然了 格伦
[09:18] Come, come, come. 快来 快来
[09:21] We’re expanding to chips. 本店扩张开始卖薯片了
[09:27] Cam, you’re staring. 小卡 你太明显在盯着人家了
[09:28] No, I’m not. So are you. 我才没有 你不也是
[09:30] Ohh, I should take this. It might be drizzle-related. 我得接电话 可能跟雨情有关
[09:33] So, Haley, we are here to help you tell us what “C–” is. 海莉 我们是来鼓励你说出c…是什么的
[09:37] You told him? 你竟然告诉他了
[09:38] You can confide in us. We’re middle-aged gay men. 你可以放心倾诉 我们是中年同性恋
[09:40] Whatever it is, we have heard of it. 不管是什么 我们肯定都听说过
[09:43] Fine. 好吧
[09:44] The other night, Rainer asked me 某天晚上 雷纳问我
[09:45] if I would be into 是否愿意做
[09:47] candling. 耳烛
[09:52] You know what that is, right? 你们知道那是什么吧
[09:53] – Yes! – Yes! -当然 -当然
[09:55] It’s when you do the… 就是做那个…
[09:57] and then — and then you — 然后 然后…
[09:58] and then you do the — the boop, boop. 然后再噗噗
[10:02] Candling is where you light a hollow candle and insert it… 耳烛就是点燃一根中空的蜡烛放入…
[10:07] into one of the ear canals… 一边耳道内
[10:09] to remove ear wax. 以清除耳垢
[10:12] Ah — oh, God. 老天
[10:13] The thing is, I don’t know if I want to be 问题是 我不知道自己是否
[10:14] that intimate with Rainer. 想和雷纳那么亲密
[10:16] Am I really ready to see gunk coming out of his ear? 我真的准备好看到他流出的耳屎了吗
[10:18] I mean, like, what if he stops being sexy? 万一看完觉得他不性感了怎么办
[10:20] Well, it is intimacy like that 就是这样的亲密事
[10:21] that separates casual dating from something more serious. 才能让人分出随便谈谈与真爱的不同
[10:24] But what about what you said earlier, 那你之前说的呢
[10:25] how even committed relationships like yours have boundaries? 即使你们这么坚定的伴侣也有个人界限
[10:28] Excuse me, what boundaries? 说什么 什么界限
[10:29] Hey, my phone died. Can I borrow one of yours? 我手机没电了 能借用你们的吗
[10:31] You told her we have boundaries? 你跟她说我们有界限吗
[10:33] You told them I asked you to candle me? 你跟他们说我让你给我做耳烛吗
[10:35] Okay, I feel like this tea’s getting away from us. 我感觉我们快喝不了茶了
[10:39] Nachos! Get your nachos here! 玉米片 来买玉米片啊
[10:43] Get! 走开
[10:45] Get! 走开
[10:50] Goaltending! Ref, do your job! 干扰球 裁判 吹哨啊
[10:52] I’m a pharmacist. 我只是个药剂师
[10:53] Oh, sorry. 抱歉
[10:57] Phil. 菲尔
[10:58] You seem a little tight, man. 你似乎有点紧绷
[10:59] Hey, DeAndre Jordan. 德安德鲁·乔丹
[11:00] Uh, no, no, no, just working out the jim-jams. 没有没有 只是稍稍有点怯场
[11:03] First half’s about getting a read. 反正前半重在了解对手
[11:04] Yeah, right. 好吧
[11:05] I didn’t realize that fans were coaching. 我都不知道粉丝还能指导呢
[11:07] And you’re helping the parents. 而且你帮的是家长队
[11:09] Teachers are the backbone of our country. 教师是我们国家的支柱
[11:11] Get out of here. 滚吧
[11:11] Parenting is the hardest job in the world. 当父母是这世上最艰难的工作
[11:13] I’m so sick of you acting like you know everything. 我受够了你自作聪明的样子
[11:15] Going to therapy did nothing for you. 你去看心理医生真是屁用都没有
[11:17] First of all, stop transferring. 首先 你别转队了
[11:19] Secondly, how about I coach that team, 其次 不如我指导那支队伍
[11:21] you coach this team? 你指导这支队伍
[11:22] 10 Dolphin Dollars you and Phil are going down. 10块海豚币赌你和菲尔输定了
[11:26] 10? You can’t even get a Foam Flipper with that. 10块连个泡棉海豚都买不起
[11:29] Let’s make it 50. 何不赌50海豚币
[11:30] D.J., please. 德哥 别这样
[11:31] How bout 50 real ones? 50块现金怎么样
[11:33] Okay. Make it five grand. 好 那就5000美金
[11:34] That’s the jump? 一下抬这么高吗
[11:36] Go win this for me. 为我赢下这场
[11:37] Okay. 好
[11:38] We’re on the same team! 我们是同一队的
[11:39] Foul! Somebody fouled me! 犯规 有人对我犯规
[11:41] Stop flopping! 别假摔了
[11:42] Phil, come on, man. Focus! 菲尔 加油 专注点
[11:43] We just bet our Olympic gold medals. 我们刚赌上了奥运金牌
[11:45] Why? No one’s making you do this! 为什么 没人逼你做到这一步
[11:52] I hate that I made you uncomfortable. 我不想让你不自在
[11:54] I-I just wanted us to be real with each other. 我只是想让我们对彼此更真实
[11:56] I want that, too. 我也想这样
[11:58] I think I’m ready. I will candle you. 我准备好了 我会给你做耳烛
[12:01] Oh, look at that — 瞧瞧
[12:02] two virtual strangers breaking down walls 两个真实的陌生人打破隔阂
[12:03] when I didn’t even know we had any. 而我原先都不知道我们有隔阂
[12:05] When I told Haley we had boundaries, 我告诉海莉我们有界限
[12:06] I just meant that there are certain things 只是指某些事
[12:08] I’d rather not ask you to do. 我不会想请你做
[12:09] Like what? 比如呢
[12:10] We should be open and honest 不管我们有何需求
[12:11] about whatever our wants and needs are. 都该对彼此坦诚
[12:14] As long as we’re being real, 既然我们决定坦诚以对
[12:16] there’s something you need to know. 我有件事要向你坦白
[12:17] There is absolutely nothing I — 我什么事情都愿意…
[12:19] Shh! I want to hear this. 别打扰我看好戏
[12:20] Give me your hands. 把你的手给我
[12:21] Okay, deep breath. Come on, Haley. 好 深呼吸 海莉加油
[12:25] I draw in my eyebrows. 我的眉毛是画出来的
[12:28] This is the real me. 素颜的我长这样
[12:32] Did he leave? Is he still here? 他吓跑了吗 他还在不在
[12:34] I’m still here, and you’re still beautiful. 我还在 而你还是一样的美丽动人
[12:37] Stop running from me. 别再逃避我了
[12:39] Fine. 好吧
[12:41] I have a confession of my own. 我也有件事要向你坦白
[12:43] Two seconds. 看完好戏再说
[12:44] I’ve never told anyone this. 我从来没告诉过任何人
[12:47] I use tape to pull my neck back. 我用胶带给脖子拉皮
[12:49] I knew it! 我就知道
[12:51] Wow. So brave. 好帅好勇敢
[12:53] I feel so naked right now. 我现在感觉好赤裸
[12:54] Me, too. 我也是
[12:55] They look exactly the same, right? 他们看起来根本没差别 是不
[12:57] No, what they look is happy 有差 他们看起来很幸福
[12:58] because they are brave enough 因为他们勇敢地
[12:59] – to be vulnerable with each other. – Cam — -向对方展现了自己脆弱的一面 -小卡
[13:01] It’s just ironic that you won’t ask me 你知道有多讽刺吗 你不敢叫我
[13:03] to do whatever it is 帮你做那件神秘的事
[13:05] because you’re worried I’ll judge you, 因为你怕我会鄙视你
[13:07] but I’m judging you now for not trusting me, 然而我现在就在鄙视你 因为你不信任我
[13:09] and that hurts. 这样真的很伤人
[13:14] You’re right, of course. 你说得果然没错
[13:15] This is only bringing us closer together. 这样做真的使我们的关系更亲密了
[13:18] Uh-huh! Who’d you say normally does this? 当然啦 平时是找谁帮你弄来着
[13:19] Uh, this place near my old office. 我以前办公室附近的一家店
[13:21] Lily in a pinch. 万不得已时也会找莉莉
[13:22] Okay, well, I think that’s it. 好啦 应该刮干净了
[13:24] Oh, no, you have to go over it one more time. 不行 你还要再刮一遍
[13:25] Okay, we’re not painting a bridge. 够了 又不是在给桥上漆
[13:29] Okay, I’ve checked twice. 我已经找了两遍了
[13:30] There’s no invoice for this last closet. 都没找到最后一个毒衣柜的发票
[13:31] Well, there has to be, 肯定有的
[13:32] and we’ve got to find it before my dad does. 一定要找出来 不能被我爸看到
[13:34] Is there any chance you accidentally shredded it? 会不会是你不小心放碎纸机里碎掉了
[13:36] Don’t worry. If I did, it’s an easy restore. 淡定 就算真的碎掉了 我也能轻易拼回来
[13:38] I was regional jigsaw champion in the under-60 category. 我可是地区拼图大赛60岁以下组别的冠军
[13:44] That weird sneeze. 这诡异的喷嚏
[13:45] You sound like the guy who was sick on the news. 听着就跟新闻上那个得病男的症状一样
[13:47] No, that guy was falling apart. 怎么会 那人都快要散架了
[13:51] You can’t be infected. 你不可能被感染了
[13:52] It’s not like you’ve spent any time around that wood. 你并没有跟那块木板接触过
[13:54] I mean, you don’t hang out in the warehouse. 你又不会去仓库
[13:56] – I’ve seen how much those guys pants you. – Oh, my God. -我见识过他们有多爱脱你裤子整你 -天啊
[13:59] My mom has a new boyfriend, 我妈妈交了个新男友
[14:00] and she doesn’t want him to know she has kids, 她不想让他知道她有孩子
[14:02] so when he comes over, I sleep in the conference room. 所以每次他来我家 我就要到会议室过夜
[14:04] Which is where the sample closet is, 会议室里有个样板衣柜
[14:06] which is why there’s no record of it! 难怪找不到销售记录
[14:08] Oh, God! 天啊
[14:11] I don’t like to talk about it a lot, 我不常自夸这一点
[14:13] but I have a certain expertise in timber. 可是我对木材挺有研究
[14:15] Even blindfolded, 即使蒙上眼睛
[14:16] I can tell a Galapagos teak from a Maltese cherry. 我也能区分得出加拉帕戈斯柚木和马耳他樱木
[14:19] Came in handy for a cop friend of mine. 有一次还用上了这个技能
[14:22] Helped him round up the Cedar Boys. 帮我的警察朋友逮捕了《雪松兄弟》
[14:24] Dad? Hey! 爸
[14:26] What are you doing in here, huh? 你进来这里干吗
[14:28] I’m checking out this new wood. 我在检查这块新木
[14:29] It’s not new wood. 那才不是新木呢
[14:33] The hell’s the matter with him? 他有什么毛病啊
[14:35] He’s got allergies. Yeah. 他过敏啦
[14:35] Allergies. Allergies. 我过敏 是过敏
[14:37] Oh, Dad, have you — have you seen 爸 你看到我们
[14:38] this new fish tank we just got? 新买的鱼缸没
[14:40] Check it. 瞧瞧多漂亮
[14:41] Where did you say we got this wood? 你之前说这木材是从哪里进货的
[14:42] Please, stop obsessing about the wood. 拜托 这破木头有什么好研究的
[14:44] – Hungry little sucker, huh? – Oh, yeah. -这鱼好像饿鬼投胎一样 -就是啊
[14:46] You sure that’s okay for him to eat? 他吃掉这木头真的没问题吗
[14:47] Yeah, it’s fine. 没问题啊
[14:48] Those fish are celebrated for their hardiness. 那种鱼就是以生命力顽强著名的
[14:51] Yeah, hardy. 坚韧不拔
[14:52] Yeah, they’re very popular amongst rappers 他们在饶舌歌手圈里很受欢迎
[14:54] ’cause they do equally well in Jacuzzis and champagne. 因为在按摩浴缸和香槟里都能养活
[14:58] Where’s Joe? 乔在哪里
[14:59] – He’s with Margaret. – Oh, okay. -跟玛格丽特在一起 -好吧
[15:00] I’m gonna bring him in here, have him check out this fish. 我去带他过来 给他看看这个鱼
[15:02] -That’s a good idea. -Getting back to this wood. -好主意啊 -继续说这木头
[15:04] Dad, the wood is fine. It’s — 爸 这木头没问题 是…
[15:07] Oh, my — 天…
[15:08] Turns out, the wood doesn’t just make people sick. 结果发现 这木头不止会让人病
[15:10] It also kills fish. 还会弄死鱼
[15:12] Well, I couldn’t let Dad know I bought murder wood, 我不敢让我爸知道我买了杀鱼木
[15:15] so I sent Ben to get a replacement fish 所以我让本下楼去
[15:17] from the tank in the lobby. 从大堂鱼缸弄只一样的鱼来
[15:18] So, those seem right to you? Hmm? 看起来还不错吧
[15:21] They’re strudy enough. 质量结实
[15:22] Smooth pivot. 转轴平滑
[15:24] Even glide. 抽屉平高
[15:26] I was already suspicious of that wood, but then it kills fish? 我本来就对这木头有疑心 它还杀了鱼
[15:29] Claire obviously bought some of that tainted lumber, 克莱尔绝对是买到了受污染木头
[15:31] and then she tries hide it? 她还想瞒着我
[15:32] She must think I’m denser than a Ponderosa maple. 她心里一定觉得我比美国黄松木还傻[结实]
[15:35] That’s a nice, easy ride. 用起来感觉又好又顺手啊
[15:37] Yeah. 对啊
[15:39] Hey, kiddo, why’s your hand wet? 闺女 你的手为什么湿了
[15:41] It’s not. It’s sweaty. 不是啦 是流手汗而已
[15:42] I went to the gym this morning. 我今天早上去健身了
[15:43] Fridays I do legs and hands. 周五练腿练手
[15:46] Claire, here’s the water you asked for. 克莱尔 你让我去弄的水
[15:48] Thank you! 谢谢
[15:50] My tooth just fell out. 我牙都掉了
[15:51] You know, I got a little something stuck in my throat. 我喉咙好像卡了点什么
[15:53] Give me a slug of that water. 这水让我喝一口
[15:54] Oh, no, you don’t want this lobby water. 你不会想喝这个大堂水的
[15:56] I just need a sip. 我就喝一小口就行
[15:57] It’s from the fountain, 是从大堂饮水机装来的
[15:58] and the warehouse guys put their mouth all over it. 仓库工人喝的时候嘴都会贴上去
[16:00] Just give it to me. 给我就是了
[16:01] I can’t. 不行
[16:06] Oh, my God, you actually did it. 天啊 你还真喝下去了
[16:08] Can you feel that thing swimming around in your belly? 能感觉到那玩意在你肚子里游吗
[16:10] You knew there was a fish in there? 你知道里面有鱼的啊
[16:12] I saw you toss the other one out. 我看见你把原来那只扔掉了
[16:13] You’re so afraid of getting caught screwing up, 你就这么怕犯错我发现
[16:15] you’d swallow an animal? 你宁愿吞下一只生物吗
[16:17] This sort of seems like a family thing, 感觉你们谈家事需要空间
[16:19] and my vision is tunneling, so… 而且我的视线开始狭窄了…
[16:22] All right, well, we recalled all the bad wood, 好吧 用了那批木头的产品已经召回
[16:24] but that doesn’t mean that we didn’t screw up. 但这并不代表我们没犯错
[16:27] So, go ahead, let me have it. 所以你来吧 好好骂我一顿吧
[16:28] Tear my head off. 手撕你闺女
[16:30] Tell me how I’ve disappointed you yet again. 说我这次又怎么让你失望了
[16:32] And what is happening? 这是怎么回事
[16:34] All day long I’ve been trying to get Joe to fear me. 今天一天我都在想办法让乔怕我
[16:37] Maybe that’s not the best thing for kids. 但或许这对孩子并不好
[16:41] Hi. 你来啦
[16:41] Well, I made six Dolphin Dollars 我赚了六块海豚币
[16:43] plus 20 real ones from some weirdo 还有某个怪人给我20块真钞
[16:45] who wanted me to ladle cheese straight into his mouth. 让我直接舀一勺起司进他嘴里
[16:48] All right, papi, thank you so much, 好吧 乖儿子谢谢你帮忙
[16:49] but I still need help attracting customers over there. 但我还是需要人帮忙吸引客人来我摊子
[16:52] Oh, I can see if Phil has that thing in his car 我可以去菲尔的车上看看
[16:53] that flails around like this. 他那个会这么挥舞的东西
[16:55] Claire? 卡莱尔吗
[16:56] No, his Tube Dude. 不是啦 是空气跳舞男
[17:01] Can I help you with anything? 有何能为您效劳吗
[17:02] I’m just going to buy a snack with my last five Dolphin Dollars. 我想要用我最后五块海豚币买个零食
[17:05] I don’t want to throw them away. 我不想把这个丢掉
[17:06] That’s how they get you. 证据就是这么留下的
[17:08] The nachos are amazing. 玉米片特别好吃
[17:09] But do not get anything 但绝对别去
[17:10] from the stand that is over there — 那边那摊子买东西
[17:11] The hot dog lady? 那个热狗女士吗
[17:12] She just said the same thing about you. 她刚才也这么说了你
[17:14] You two remind me of me and DeAndre Jordan. 你们两个让我想起我跟德安德鲁·乔丹
[17:17] We have a rivalry, and I don’t know why. 我们是宿敌 我也不知道为什么
[17:19] Maybe in life we resent people who hold up a mirror 或许我们在生活中 就讨厌着拿着镜子
[17:22] and force us to look at the worst in ourselves. 逼我们看到自己最丑恶一面的人
[17:24] I see what you’re saying, Charles Barkley. 我听懂你意思了 查尔斯·巴克利
[17:27] And that’s what we call an assist. 我们打篮球的把这叫助攻
[17:30] Hand stamp. 买过票盖过章了
[17:33] Donna, we have to stop this fighting. 唐娜 我们不能再斗下去了
[17:35] A wise man once told me that we resent mirrors 有位智者曾告诉过我 我们讨厌
[17:39] that show us what we don’t want to see. 让我们看到自己丑恶一面的镜子
[17:42] That’s ridiculous. 真是可笑
[17:43] I love mirrors. 我可喜欢镜子了
[17:44] But the point is that I was mad 但重点是我生气是因为
[17:46] because you made me see who I really am, 你让我看清了我真实的一面
[17:49] and I was shocked to see what I have become. 而我对自己变成的模样感到讶异
[17:52] Stop talking. 别说了
[17:53] You’re sounding human, and I don’t like that. 你的话听起来好有人味 我不喜欢这样
[17:55] I am soft, privileged lady, and I thought that bothered me. 我集万千宠爱于一身 本以为这让我有点羞愧
[17:59] Until today, I realized that it doesn’t. 直到今天 我才意识到压根没有
[18:02] I don’t want to do this. 我才不想辛苦来卖小吃
[18:04] I love my pretty, pretty life. 我喜欢我炊金馔玉的 膏粱锦绣的生活
[18:06] The only thing that makes me feel bad 而唯一让我感到不安的事
[18:08] is that I don’t really feel bad about it. 竟然是我并不为此感到难为情
[18:14] Thank you so much for opening up to me. 谢谢你愿意敞开心扉和我说这些话
[18:17] I almost started to feel something for you, 我差一点就要对你产生一点感情了
[18:19] but then when you said you don’t feel guilty, 但当你又说了你不觉得羞愧
[18:21] my rage returned tenfold. 我的愤怒值又反涨了十倍
[18:24] And I need that rage. It gets me up in the morning. 而我需要这愤怒的感觉 它是我每天起床的动力
[18:27] Well, if it helps you, I eat everything I want, 如果这能帮到你 从今天起我想吃什么就吃什么
[18:31] and I work out like once a year. 然后大概一年就只锻炼一次
[18:33] You’re horrible. 你这个小妖精
[18:36] Oh, thank you. 谢谢你
[18:38] All right, guys — tie game, three seconds left. 大家听好了 现在追平了 就剩下最后三秒钟
[18:40] There’s only one thing that they’re not gonna be expecting. 我们要做世上唯一一件他们意想不到的事情
[18:42] We’re gonna get the ball to Phil. 我们要把球传给菲尔
[18:43] What? 什么?
[18:44] They’re not even guarding you. 他们甚至防都不防你
[18:46] I’m so sure of this play, I just bet Barkley my car. 我对这招很有信心 我跟巴克利赌上我的车了
[18:48] Is it a Honda? 是本田车吗?
[18:50] No, it’s a Phantom with my head as the hood ornament. 是以我头像为车头标志的劳斯莱斯幻影
[18:52] All right, let’s win this thing 来吧 我们打赢这场比赛
[18:54] -Phil, honey, hi! -Hey. 菲儿 亲爱的 这里!
[18:55] I’m sorry we’re late, 对不起我们来迟了
[18:56] but at least we’re here for the end of the game. 但好在我们及时赶来看到了比赛的结局
[18:58] I could really use a win on the day I drank a fish. 在我牛饮金鱼的日子 最需要一场胜利高兴一下
[19:00] Drank like a fish. 是”鲸吸牛饮”
[19:01] Wow, a bunch of NBA players are tweeting about this bet 天啊 一堆职篮球员在推特上聊
[19:03] between Charles Barkley and DeAndre Jordan. 关于巴克利和德安德鲁之间的这场赌局
[19:05] And they’re live-streaming it, 而且他们还在现场直播这场比赛
[19:06] so like 60,000 people are watching. 现在大概有六万人在线观看
[19:07] Since when do people care about basketball? 人们什么时候开始这么关心篮球了
[19:09] Calm down, Phil. You can do this, pal. 冷静下来 菲尔 你可以做到的 哥们
[19:12] You choose now to believe in me for the first time? 你偏偏选这时候第一次相信我吗
[19:15] All right, Phil. You got this, man. 上场了 菲尔 你可以做到的
[19:19] Two shots! 罚两球
[19:21] I can’t go, Coach. 我走不动了 教练
[19:23] Ow! My ankle. 我的膝盖好痛
[19:25] Well, well, well… 哎哟哟
[19:28] League rules dictate, if a player can’t attempt 联赛规则是这样的 如果一个队员
[19:30] a free throw because of injury, 因为受伤不能进行罚球
[19:32] opposing team gets to pick the shooter. 对方球队将可以任意在罚球队选择一个投手
[19:34] Right, but you’re not a know-it-all. 的确 但你一样不是百事通
[19:36] Don’t give this anger power. 不要给我这份愤怒的力量
[19:38] I pick you. Don’t choke. 我选你了 千万”别怯场”啊
[19:44] You got this, Phil. You got this, Phil. 你能行的 菲尔 你最棒了 菲尔
[19:53] Phil Dunphy to the free-throw line. 菲尔·邓菲站到了罚球线前
[19:54] Tie score. 比数平手
[19:56] This is for all the marbles, folks. 现在是决胜时刻了 朋友们
[20:04] Come on! 怎么搞的
[20:08] What happened? 发生什么了
[20:09] It’s gonna take an hour to get the power back up, 要等一个小时他们才能把电力恢复
[20:11] so they called the game. 所以他们就宣布平局结束
[20:13] I just feel so bad for Phil. 我为菲尔感到好难过
[20:15] You know him as this happy-go-lucky guy, 他这个重在参与 成败在天型的乐天派
[20:17] but he has been beating himself up over this for a year. 其实在心里谴责自己一整年了
[20:21] And he was so close! 而他就差一点就可以证明自己了
[20:24] It’s gonna haunt him never knowing 不知道到底会不会投进的事
[20:26] if he would have made that shot. 将会在他心里不断萦绕
[20:31] Game’s on the line. 胜败就此一举
[20:34] Everybody’s watching. 大家都在看着你
[20:39] This one’s for all the marbles, folks. 现在是决胜时刻了 朋友们
[20:58] Son of a bitch made it. 这个小兔崽子居然真进了
[21:03] You know, I’m glad we’re doing this again. 你知道 我很高兴我们能再举办一次茶话会
[21:04] Yeah, I think we just put too much pressure on it the first time. 是啊 我感觉我们给第一次施加太大压力了
[21:06] You know, humans aren’t the only ones 其实人类不是唯一一个
[21:08] who respond badly to pressure. 会被压力带来负面影响的种族
[21:09] Did I ever tell you about the day without eggs? 不知道我没有跟你提过无蛋日
[21:11] It was at the start of the Omelet Days Festival. 那发生在煎蛋节刚刚开始的时候
[21:14] Up with the sun, I grab my basket, 太阳一出来 我就带上我的篮子
[21:16] into the henhouse I go — 34 hens, nary an egg. 走进了鸡棚 34只母鸡 连一个蛋都没有
[21:21] I know, I know. 我知道 我知道
[21:22] My grandpa said it was the worst case of avian anxiety 我爷爷说这是自珍珠港后他所见过
[21:26] he’s seen since Pearl Harbor. 最严重的一次禽类焦虑症了
[21:27] That’s when they had to take the radio out of the coop. 所以后来他们才要把收音机从鸡棚里收走…
摩登家庭

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