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摩登家庭(Modern Family)第9季第12集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月12日 By jubentaici_movie_user 摩登家庭(Modern Family)第9季第12集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
目录
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S01E02
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时间 英文 中文
[00:02] Phil, thank you so much for helping, 菲尔 非常感谢你来帮忙
[00:04] especially after Jay was so rude to you last night. 尤其是在昨天晚上杰对你那么无礼后
[00:07] I wanted to start a new family tradition. 我想开始一项新的家庭传统
[00:09] In a way, I succeeded — 某种程度上来说 我成功了
[00:11] we now have Phil Un-appreciation Day. 现在我们有了不喜欢菲尔日
[00:14] Hear ye, hear ye! 请听啊 请听啊
[00:16] Nope. 别这样
[00:16] I hereby declare the opening 我宣布首届
[00:18] of the first annual Dunphy Games. 年度邓菲运动会开始
[00:21] Hard pass. 坚决不要
[00:22] Tests of strength, games of chance — 力量的考验 运气的测试
[00:25] with the champion receiving the coveted Dunphy chalice 冠军将获得大家梦寐以求的邓菲圣杯
[00:28] and this gift card to Yogurtland. 和这张酸奶乐园的礼品券
[00:31] Phil, it’s not going to happen. 菲尔 没人要玩啦
[00:32] Your dissent has been noted, town elder, 你的反对我已经听到了 大长老
[00:35] but perhaps those who’ve seen fewer winters 但也许应该让年轻的人们
[00:37] should cast a vote. 来投一票
[00:42] Who dares accept the challenge of a noodle-joust? 谁敢接受面条比武的挑战
[00:45] No sale, Dad. 没人买账 老爸
[00:47] Oh, well. Nice try, Son. 好吧 你尽力了 儿子
[00:49] I’ll probably just drive back to Florida, then. 我还是开车原路返回佛罗里达吧
[00:51] Great to see you guys. 很高兴见到各位
[01:05] I just thought with everyone growing up, 我就是觉得每个人都长大了
[01:07] a new tradition might give us another excuse 一项新传统也许能给我们一个
[01:09] to get together every year. 每年聚一次的理由
[01:10] Oh, baby, we can get together today 亲爱的 我们今天就可以聚在一起
[01:12] for Joe’s soccer-team party. 去参加乔的足球队派对啊
[01:14] We have superheroes coming. 有超级英雄要来
[01:16] We have the Superman, the X-Men. 有超人 X战警
[01:19] That’s what Jay called my dad and me. Ex-men. 杰就这么叫我和我爸 傻X战警[前男人]
[01:21] Ohh! That hurts! 好疼
[01:23] – Why, what happened? – ?Oh, it’s nothing. -怎么了 怎么回事 -没事
[01:24] It’s probably just my stilter’s hip flaring up. 可能是我踩高跷伤的屁股又犯了
[01:26] No, it’s not. 不 好像不是
[01:27] Oh, you don’t look that good. 你看起来不太好啊
[01:29] Do you have a fever? 你发烧了吗
[01:30] I don’t know. I can’t tell. 不知道 我感觉不出来
[01:33] Ay, no, you’re burning up! 糟糕 你在烧呢
[01:35] Hi, I ordered your Ultra-Soft Gel-Heel Socks, 您好 我订了你们的超软胶底袜子
[01:38] and they are both marked “L.” 两只袜子都标着”L”
[01:40] And “L” is for — “L”是指左…[left]
[01:42] “L” is for large. Hilarious. ‘L’指的是大[large]啊 好好笑
[01:44] I’m thinking I’ve been wearing two left socks. 我以为我穿着两只左脚的袜子呢
[01:46] I am adorable. 我好可爱
[01:48] Can you hang on a second? 能稍等我一下吗
[01:49] – Hello? – Claire, everything is okay, -你好 -克莱尔 一切都好
[01:51] but I am taking Phil to the hospital. 但我现在在带菲尔去医院
[01:55] He’s dead! 他死了
[01:56] I was just resting my eyes! 我只是在闭目养神啦
[01:58] – Oh, God! What happened?! – It’s okay, honey. -天啊 怎么了 -没事的 亲爱的
[02:00] I just have a little bit of stomach pain. 我就是有点胃疼
[02:02] Hang in there, sweetie. I’ll — I’m — I’m — I’m coming. 坚持住 亲爱的 我我我 我这就过去
[02:04] I’ll be — I’ll be — I’ll be there. 我 我马上 我马上过去
[02:07] Really, Schwartzy? 你不是吧 兄弟
[02:08] Calling me while I’m putting? 我要推杆的时候给我打电话
[02:09] It’s bush-league moves like that why your wife left you, 就是这种下三滥的手段 你老婆才会抛弃你
[02:12] why we still play poker and never invite you, why we — 我们才会打扑克却从不邀请你 我们才…
[02:15] Oh, it’s Gloria. 是歌洛莉亚
[02:16] Jay, pick up Joe and meet me at the hospital! 杰 去接乔 然后到医院找我
[02:18] What happened? Is it Stella?! 怎么了 是斯黛拉出事了吗
[02:20] No, it’s Phil! 不是 是菲尔
[02:22] Wait a minute, I’m — I’m getting another call. 等下 我接另一个电话
[02:23] – Dad– ?- I heard. -老爸 -我听说了
[02:25] Okay, Haley and Luke are working at the club. 好了 海莉和卢克在你那个俱乐部上班
[02:27] Can you grab them and meet me at the hospital? 你能带上他俩 然后到医院找我吗
[02:28] Sure thing. Sorry, guys. 当然 抱歉 各位
[02:30] Emergency, I gotta take the cart. 情况紧急 我要把车开走了
[02:31] – What?! – ?The clubhouse is 50 yards away. -什么 -俱乐部会所离这里45米呢
[02:34] Walk the first 25, make camp, 先走23米 然后扎营休息
[02:35] and then tackle the rest in the morning. 明天早上再走完剩下的
[02:37] Forget about Joe, I’ll have Mitch and Cam bring him. 别管乔了 我让米奇和小卡去带他
[02:40] Phil, how’s the pain? On a scale of one to — 菲尔 多疼啊 打分1到…
[02:42] Bo Derek! 宝·德里克[曾主演电影《10》]
[02:43] 10. Got it. 10 我知道了
[02:44] Boy, they did not get that score wrong, huh? 那分数倒是一点都没错啊
[02:49] Good. 很好
[02:50] Okay, it’s good, but is it wow? 好吧 是很好 但好到让人惊艳吗
[02:52] We’re inviting eight people over for brunch 我们只是要请八个人来吃早午餐
[02:54] with an invitation that reads, “Friends, Romans, Hungreymen” — 邀请信上写了”朋友 罗马人 饥饿的人”
[02:56] they’re gonna say wow. 他们会被惊艳到的
[02:59] Hey, Gloria. 歌洛莉亚
[03:00] I am taking Phil to the hospital! 我在送菲尔去医院
[03:02] What? They’re taking Phil to the hospital. 什么 他们在送菲尔去医院
[03:04] It’s just a stomach issue. 只是胃不舒服
[03:06] Please pick up Joe at soccer and meet us over there. 麻烦你们去足球队接乔 然后到那边找我们
[03:09] Of course. Oh, but what about Lily? 当然 那莉莉怎么办
[03:12] What is that? A harp? 那是什么 竖琴声吗
[03:14] No! Dios mío, no! 不 天啊 不
[03:16] The angels are coming down. 天使要下凡了
[03:18] You cannot have him yet! 你们还不能带走他
[03:22] Hello? 你好
[03:23] Haley, would you mind picking up Lily from City Kidz gym? 海莉 你能去城市孩童体育馆接一下莉莉吗
[03:26] I don’t have a car. 我没车
[03:27] Alex said she’s on a date, but she can grab Lily. 艾丽克斯说她在约会 但是她可以去接莉莉
[03:29] Oh, crap. We don’t have time for this valet stuff. 糟糕 我们没时间等人去取车了
[03:31] I’m going rogue. 我不管了
[03:32] Luke, this thing’s not fast enough. 卢克 这玩意儿太慢了
[03:34] Grab a nine-iron, try to hook a bumper. 抓一支9号铁杆 看能不能勾到别人保险杠上
[03:37] Hey, Uncle Mitchell, I’m kinda busy right now. 米奇尔舅舅 我现在有点忙
[03:40] He is? I’m on my way. 是吗 我马上过去
[03:42] Sorry, boys, gotta cut it short today. 抱歉 孩子们 今天不能多待了
[03:46] Hurry, hurry! Take him! 快点快点 快带他进去
[03:52] If Phil dies, would Claire get a new husband? 如果菲尔死了 克莱尔会再找一个老公吗
[03:55] Okay, he’s not gonna die, bud. 他不会死的 小家伙
[03:56] But to answer your question, yes, probably. 但回答你的问题 是的 应该会
[03:58] You have to move on with life. 生活还得继续
[04:00] Wait for us. 等等我们
[04:01] Comin’ in hot! Comin’ in hot! 快让开 快让开
[04:06] You’re just gonna park that right there? 你们就停在这里吗
[04:07] I did the closets for head of surgery here. 我给这里的外科主任做过衣柜
[04:08] I’m untouchable. 没人敢动我
[04:10] Phil, honey, how are you? 菲尔 亲爱的 你还好吗
[04:11] Oh, back in the hospital. ?Oh. 又回医院了
[04:13] But better because of Elsie and her friend IV. 但好多了 因为有艾尔希和她的朋友”静滴”
[04:17] If it’s okay, I invited IV to come live with us. 如果可以的话 我想请”静滴”来我们家住
[04:21] Well, I brought you something 我给你带了点东西
[04:22] that’s gonna make you feel so much better. 会让你感觉好很多
[04:25] Oh, Surgery Bear. 手术熊
[04:27] Our first year dating, we went to a carnival. 我们约会的第一年 一起去了一个园游会
[04:30] At the milk-can toss, 在玩投掷牛奶罐的游戏时
[04:31] there was a bear that Claire really liked. 有一只克莱尔非常喜欢的熊
[04:34] I spent all night trying to win it, but I just couldn’t. 我花了一晚上想要赢下来 但就是不行
[04:37] Came back the next night and the carnival had left town. 隔天晚上又去时 园游会去下个城市了
[04:39] So, I drove to Fresno, failed again. 所以我开车去到夫勒斯诺市 又失败了
[04:42] Sacramento, no dice. 萨克拉门托 还是不行
[04:44] Six weeks later, in Carson City, Nevada, it happened. 六周后 在内华达卡森城 总算赢下来了
[04:47] Yeah. 是啊
[04:48] When I handed it to her and saw the smile on her face, 我给她的时候 看到了她脸上的笑容
[04:50] I proposed to her on the spot. 我当即向她求婚
[04:53] Anyhoo, it’s come with me 总之 从那之后
[04:55] to every visit in the hospital since for good luck. 我每次住院这只熊都会陪伴我 来祈求好运
[04:57] And I was so worried about forgetting it 我好担心我给忘了
[05:00] that guess what I did? 所以你猜我做了什么
[05:01] Remembered it? 你带上了吗
[05:02] Well, I brought you your nice, comfy neck pillow, 我给你带了非常舒服的护颈枕
[05:05] and I’m gonna run right home and get you Surgery Bear, okay? 然后我马上回家给你拿手术熊好吗
[05:07] – Okay. ?- Okay. -好的 -好
[05:08] – Dad! ?- Hi. Oh, honey. -老爸 -对了 亲爱的
[05:10] – Yeah? ?- Just in case, -怎么了 -为防有三长两短
[05:11] I made one of my goodbye videos for you and the kids. 我给你和孩子们做了一支告别视频
[05:14] I posted it in the usual spot. 我发在老地方了
[05:16] – Okay. ?- Goodbye videos? -好了 -告别视频
[05:18] It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. 没什么 别担心
[05:19] I’ll be right back. I’ll be right back. 我马上就回来
[05:21] – Hey, Phil. ?- Hi. -好啊 菲尔 -嗨
[05:22] How you feeling? 你感觉怎么样
[05:23] Did you tell them about the long pants? 你跟他们说长裤的事了吗
[05:26] Oh, yeah, they had to cut me out of them 对 他们得把我的长裤剪掉
[05:28] when th– when they got tangled up 因为裤子缠上了
[05:30] in the spokes of the wheelchair! 轮椅的辐条
[05:32] Well, they gave him the good stuff. 医院给了他上好的麻醉药啊
[05:34] Well, glad you got to wish him well. 很高兴你们赶上了祝他好运
[05:36] We have to get this guy prepped for his gallbladder surgery. 我们得让他准备接受胆囊手术了
[05:38] That means they’re gonna shave me. 意思是要给我刮毛了
[05:40] Should we be worried that those could be his last words? 我们要担心这句话是他的最后遗言吗
[05:42] I got this. Phil, we love you. 我来处理 菲尔 我们爱你
[05:44] I love you, too. 我也爱你
[05:45] They’re gonna shave me. 他们要给我刮毛了
[05:47] Well, we tried. 我们尽力了
[05:51] So you’re sure Phil’s gonna be okay? 你确定菲尔会没事吗
[05:53] Absolutely, Pappy. Phil is not gonna die in a long, long time. 肯定没事 宝贝 离菲尔去世还早着呢
[05:56] Am I going to die? 我会死吗
[05:58] Well, Joe, it’s a natural thing that we — 乔 这是件自然的事
[06:00] Bup, bup, bup. 停停停
[06:00] This is not a topic you tend to handle gently. 你似乎不会温和处理这个话题
[06:04] It’s not your fault, 也不怪你
[06:05] but many people in your orbit met with ugly ends. 你生活中的许多人都不得善终
[06:08] I’ll handle this. 我来处理吧
[06:09] Fine. I have to pick up the party cake. 好吧 我得去拿派对蛋糕
[06:12] It’s shaped like a soccer ball. 一个足球形状的球
[06:14] You sure that won’t scare them? 你确定那不会吓到他们吗
[06:15] ‘Cause the only thing I’ve seen them do 因为我只见过他们
[06:16] with a soccer ball is run from it. 飞奔躲开足球
[06:19] Look, kid, that’s a deep question, 听着 孩子 这是个深奥的问题
[06:22] “Will I die some day?” “我有天会死吗”
[06:23] And I’m gonna be straight with you about it — no. 我要直接告诉你答案 不会
[06:28] Never? 永远不会吗
[06:29] A few years back, people would live to be around 12. 过去 人们大概只能活到12岁
[06:32] Nowadays, what with all the science they’re doing, 现在 依靠科技的力量
[06:34] sky’s the limit. 寿命无极限
[06:36] You play your cards right, and someday you’ll be 200, 你应对得当 有天你就会活到200岁
[06:40] and if you learn anything from your old man, 如果你从你老爸这里学到了东西
[06:42] you’ll have a gorgeous 100-year-old bride on your arm. 你会挽着一个100岁的美女新娘
[06:47] Uh, there will be some squawking from women in their 180s, 女人到了180多岁 会开始爱发牢骚
[06:51] but, uh, you’re a successful man 但你是个成功人士
[06:54] and you’ve earned your happiness. 你的努力换得了幸福
[06:58] What is a gallbladder? 胆囊到底是什么
[06:59] Yeah, and what’s up with these organs you don’t even need? 是啊 这些你都不需要的器官是怎么回事
[07:01] You can lose a gallbladder, an appendix, 你可以切掉胆囊 阑尾
[07:03] and everything’s fine. 啥事都没有
[07:04] Yeah, kind of like husbands. 是啊 就像是丈夫
[07:05] You lose one, you just get another. 失去一个 就再找一个
[07:08] That is what you said earlier. 你早些时候是这样说的
[07:09] Oh, how did I know that was gonna boomerang back on me? 我怎么会料到我会引火上身的呢
[07:11] I didn’t bring it up to attack you. 我提起这事不是为了攻击你
[07:13] I just wondered… 我只是想知道
[07:14] have you ever thought about who you’d end up with 如果我提前归西 你想过
[07:17] if, you know, my show closes early? 你要跟谁在一起吗
[07:20] I would give my right gallbladder 我宁愿放弃我的右”胆”囊
[07:21] not to answer this question. 都不要回答这问题
[07:22] Come on, it’ll be a fun game. 拜托 这是个有趣的游戏
[07:23] Don’t you want to know who I’m thinking about? 你不想知道我心里想的是谁吗
[07:25] I guess. 有点想
[07:26] Okay, well, then, let’s just say a name on three. 好吧 那就数到三一起说名字
[07:29] – Cam. – No, come on. -小卡 -拜托
[07:30] I think you’ll be surprised by my choice. 我觉得我的选择会让你惊讶
[07:32] You ready? 准备好了吗
[07:34] One, two, three… 一二三
[07:37] – Caleb. – You’re my everything. -凯莱布 -你是我的一切
[07:38] – Y-You — You tricked me. – Okay, who’s Caleb? -你诈我 -凯莱布是谁
[07:40] You — You met him. At — At Jotham’s party. 你见过他 在乔撒姆的派对上
[07:42] The — The massage therapist. 那个按摩师
[07:44] Well, I guess he rubbed you the right way. 看来他按摩按到了你心坎儿里
[07:46] Cam, oh, come on. 小卡 拜托
[07:46] I only said a name because you pressured me to. 我说了名字只是因为你逼我说
[07:48] I’ve had like two conversations with him. 我就跟他聊过两次天
[07:50] Look, I-I only picked him because he reminds me of you. 我选他只是因为他让我想到了你
[07:53] So sweet and open and such a good balance for me. 贴心 坦率 跟我很互补
[07:56] I-I thought he might be, too. 我觉得他可能也是
[07:58] Well, then, that’s lovely. 真有爱
[08:00] Oh, thank God. I cut the right wire. 谢天谢地 我剪了正确的线[炸弹]
[08:02] Okay, what is a gallbladder? 胆囊是什么
[08:04] The gallbladder is 胆囊是
[08:05] “A 4-inch pear-shaped organ that stores bile.” “储存胆汁的4英寸梨形器官”
[08:08] Like — Like a little bile cabinet. 像是胆汁橱柜
[08:12] That’s why people want us around. 这就是为什么大家喜欢有我们陪伴
[08:17] Uh, Caleb. 凯莱布
[08:17] Hey, Mitchell. 米奇尔
[08:18] Thanks for coming on such short notice. 谢谢你这么快就赶来了
[08:20] You can set your table up, uh, down in the TV area. 你可以在电视那边支按摩床
[08:22] Sounds good. ?You got it. 好 没问题
[08:25] What’s going on? 怎么回事
[08:25] Uh, would you stop being so suspicious? 你能别这么疑神疑鬼吗
[08:27] You said you neck hurt from posing for our photograph… 你说拍照摆姿势把你的脖子弄疼了
[08:30] …so I invited Caleb over to ply his trade. 于是我邀请了凯莱布过来做他的工作
[08:33] I do not think he’s here to ply. 我觉得他不是来工作的
[08:34] I think he’s here so you can pry. 而是方便你”窥探工作”的
[08:36] Dad’s gonna be fine. 爸爸会没事的
[08:38] Since we’re on the subject, at my funeral, 既然聊到这事 在我的葬礼上
[08:39] make sure the pallbearers say things like, 记得让抬棺人说这些话
[08:41] “Wow, she’s so light,” “她真轻”
[08:43] and things like, “Is she even in here?” “她是不是没被装在棺材里啊”
[08:45] I don’t want to be buried. I’m donating my body to science. 我不想被埋葬 我要为科学捐献身躯
[08:47] – Haven’t you already? – I’m putting kettle bells in your coffin. -你已经算捐了吧 -我要在你棺材里放壶铃增重
[08:50] And make sure my cadaver goes to an Ivy League. 还得确保我的尸体被捐去常春藤联盟大学
[08:52] I don’t want some hungover freshman from Swarthmore 我可不想让史瓦兹摩尔学院的宿醉新生
[08:54] getting his hands all over me. 对我上下其手
[08:56] Mm. It’s not so bad. 也没那么糟糕啊
[08:57] I’m never gonna die. 我不会死的
[08:58] Science is gonna find a cure for everything. 随着科学的发展 一切都有治愈办法
[09:00] Grandpa told me that. 外公跟我说的
[09:02] Quick, kids, hey, listen, Surgery Bear is not upstairs. 快 孩子们 听着 手术熊不在楼上
[09:04] Any ideas? 知道在哪吗
[09:05] Oh, right, Dad gave it to Joe 对了 爸爸把手术熊给乔了
[09:06] when he got his tonsils taken out. 那时候他切除了扁桃体
[09:08] You could’ve told me that 你可以在我翻卢克的抽屉之前
[09:09] before I looked through Luke’s drawers. 告诉我的
[09:10] – Which drawer?! – We’ll get into that later. -哪个抽屉 -我们回头聊这事
[09:16] Come on! 不是吧
[09:17] Damn it. 该死
[09:20] Hey, honey, did you find Surgery Bear? 亲爱的 你找到手术熊了吗
[09:23] Uh… yeah, sure did. 当然
[09:23] He’s — He’s right here with his beautiful blue eyes. 它就在这 睁着美丽的蓝色眼睛
[09:27] I always considered them hazel, 我一直以为那是淡褐色的
[09:28] but who could tell underneath those sunglasses? 但它戴着墨镜 谁知道啊
[09:30] Sunglasses. Right. 墨镜 好吧
[09:35] Why don’t you tell me what your favorite thing is 不如你跟我说说你最喜欢
[09:37] about Surgery Bear? 手术熊的哪点吧
[09:38] Well, as you know, he’s the polar… 你知道 他正好跟我是北极…
[09:43] …opposite of me. 与南极般的相反
[09:44] I mean, I hate surfing. 我讨厌冲浪
[09:47] But it makes sense that a fireman would love it. 但是消防员喜欢冲浪也合情合理
[09:49] Yes, of course. 当然了
[09:51] In my mind, he’s a volunteer fireman during the summer 在我心里 他在夏天会去当志愿消防员
[09:54] because professors have those off. 因为教授的假期很长
[09:56] Professors have — Yes. 教授可以…对
[09:58] Oh, gotta run, honey. 得挂了 亲爱的
[09:58] Elsie’s here to give me another shot for the pain. 艾尔希要再给我打一针麻醉了
[10:00] Don’t be stingy, Elsie. 别省药 艾尔希
[10:02] Last time, it took forever to fee… 上次我等了好久才…
[10:09] Oh, thank God you’re here. 谢天谢地你在
[10:10] Which one of these is Surgery Bear? 哪一只是手术熊啊
[10:11] Neither one. 都不是
[10:12] I gave him to Manny when he went to college. 曼尼上大学时我送给了他
[10:24] Was that Claire? 那是克莱尔吗
[10:25] I don’t know, but we’ve given out too many keys. 不知道 但我们家钥匙给太多人了
[10:27] Look out below! 下面的人小心
[10:29] What are you doing there?! You’re gonna kill yourself! 你在干什么 你会害死自己的
[10:31] No, I won’t. 不 我不会的
[10:32] Dad said I’m gonna live forever. 爸爸说我可以永生
[10:35] Come down here. 下来
[10:36] Is that what you told him? Are you crazy? 你就这么告诉他的吗 你疯了吧
[10:38] I didn’t want to steal the kid’s innocence. 我不想破坏孩子的天真
[10:40] Joe, I know what your father said, 乔 我知道你爸是这么说的
[10:42] but forget it. 但忘了吧
[10:43] You can die from that. 你这样是会死的
[10:45] Really? 真的吗
[10:46] Yes. People die all the time. 真的 人常因为各式各样的原因而死
[10:47] That’s why you have to be careful. 这就是为什么你得小心
[10:50] Everyone dies. 每个人都会死
[10:51] You can choke 你可能会噎死
[10:52] or something very heavy can fall on top of your head. 或者重物会砸在你头上
[10:55] One time, I heard there was a little kid that exploded. 有次我听说有个小孩爆炸了
[10:59] The nuns said that it was because of unclean thoughts. 修女说是因为他有肮脏的想法
[11:02] Do you get all this? 你明白了吗
[11:04] Yes, Mommy. 明白 妈妈
[11:06] Those are your friends. Go welcome them. 你的朋友们来了 去欢迎人家吧
[11:08] Hi, Joe. I brought cupcakes. 乔 我带了小蛋糕
[11:10] What’s the point? 还有什么意义啊
[11:12] – You okay with the pressure? ?- If you looked under this table, -轻重如何 -如果你在桌子底下看
[11:15] you’ll see I’m drooling like a trumpeter. 你会看到我像个小号手一样流口水
[11:17] Hey, sorry to interrupt. 抱歉
[11:18] Made some hot tea and some homemade cookies. 泡了热茶 做了手工饼干
[11:20] I’m suddenly feeling some 我突然感到
[11:21] tension in your shoulder here, Mitchell. 你肩部有些紧张 米奇尔
[11:23] Do you cook, like I do, Caleb, or…? 你会像我一样做饭吗 凯莱布
[11:25] Oh, no. Not as much as I used to. 不 不如过去频繁了
[11:27] Oh, yeah, well, nothin’ says lovin’ 是吗 可什么都比不上
[11:30] like a home-cooked meal. 家常美食那么表达爱意啊
[11:31] I know. 我知道
[11:33] I had my own restaurant for 15 years. 我经营自己的饭店15年了
[11:35] Oh, but it failed and you lost everything? 但失败了 你破产啦
[11:37] No, I had to walk away. 不 我得从中脱身
[11:39] It’s such a stressful life. 压力太大了
[11:40] But I do miss having someone to cook for. 但我真的好怀念能为某人做饭
[11:43] Cam, maybe you want to get into these topics 小卡 为啥不等凯莱布
[11:45] with Caleb during your massage? 给你按摩时再聊这些话题
[11:47] Oh, yeah, okay. I’ll leave you guys. 好 我不打扰你们了
[11:51] And the knots are melting away. 紧绷的肌肉放松下来了
[11:52] – You know, I’m a drummer. – Big one coming back here now. -我是个鼓手 -这里又好大一块紧绷了
[11:55] Are you musical in any way, Caleb? 你懂音乐不 凯莱布
[11:56] Yeah, I was actually in a band once. 懂啊 实际上我曾经玩过乐队
[12:00] But it failed and you lost everything? 但失败了 你失去一切了
[12:01] Uh, no. We actually toured Europe for a couple years. 不 实际上我们还去欧洲巡回演出几年
[12:04] Bought me a house and a cabin in Hawaii. 我还用那收入买了房子和夏威夷的小屋
[12:06] When you say Hawaii, 你说夏威夷
[12:07] you mean the big island of Ha-va-ee? 你说的是夏威夷岛吗
[12:08] I’m sorry, Caleb. 不好意思 凯莱布
[12:09] I just remembered I need to talk to Cameron 我刚想起来我得和卡梅隆
[12:11] about the recycling bin. 聊下回收垃圾箱的事儿
[12:13] Would you excuse us? 能让我们单独聊会儿吗
[12:15] Sure. 当然
[12:16] Thanks. 谢谢
[12:19] You’re acting crazy. 你不要发神经
[12:20] Okay, you know what? 好吧 你知道吗
[12:21] I have some health issues on my mind, Mitchell, 是因为我担心我有健康问题 米奇尔
[12:23] and I was simply evaluating the man 而且我只是简单地测试一下他
[12:25] who might become Lily’s stepfather someday. 他可能有天会是莉莉的继父呢
[12:28] Cam, your — your health is fine. 小卡 你的健康没问题
[12:30] You don’t know that. Phil probably thought the same thing 这可不好说 菲尔今早起床时
[12:32] when he woke up this morning. 可能也这么想呢
[12:33] Okay. Things lurk. 疾病都是潜伏的
[12:34] Okay, so that’s what this is? 好吧 原来是这么回事
[12:35] You — Seeing Phil flipped you out, 你 看到菲尔那样你受刺激了
[12:37] but nothing is lurking. 但没有潜伏的疾病啦
[12:39] Okay. Maybe I’m being crazy. 好吧 可能我是疯了
[12:42] How about if I send him home… 我让他回去
[12:44] and finish this little massage myself? 我亲自给你按摩 怎么样
[12:48] Hey! Uh, everything okay with the recycling bins? 垃圾箱一切还好吧
[12:50] What? Oh. Oh. The excuse. 什么 那个借口啊
[12:51] Y-Y-Yes, and listen, about earlier, um, 还好 听我说 其实刚才是因为
[12:54] Mitchell has a little crush on you and I was being weird, 米奇尔有点暗恋你 所以我表现得很奇怪
[12:57] but we’re all good now, so… 但现在没事了
[12:58] No, it’s actually really nice to hear. 不 其实很高兴听到这些
[13:01] I just got dumped… 我刚被甩
[13:02] …so I’ll take any validation I can get. 所以任何的认可我都接受
[13:05] Did he say what exactly about me he liked? 他说了喜欢我什么吗
[13:07] I think how not needy you are. 我觉得是你不粘人吧
[13:09] Anyway, we’ve put you through enough, you should go. 总之我们太对不起你了 你该离开了
[13:11] I’ll finish the massage. 我会接着给他按摩
[13:12] Oh, absolutely not. Please, you’ve already paid. 不用了 不 你们已经付款了
[13:15] Besides, when I leave, I’m just gonna be alone 而且我走后就得自己待在公寓里
[13:17] in that apartment with the parrot that we adopted. 和那只我们一起领养的鹦鹉一起
[13:19] Where’s Silvio? Where’s Silvio? 西尔维奥在哪 西尔维奥在哪
[13:22] I don’t know. He left! 我不知道 他离开了
[13:30] Hey, I-I just had an impulse. 我突然有种冲动
[13:32] Let’s skip the massage. 别按摩了
[13:33] I’ll grab some wine and you can meet me in the bedroom. 我去拿酒 你在卧室里等我
[13:37] Go on. Get in there. 快 去啊
[13:46] Go away! 走开
[13:48] You don’t even know who it is. 你都不知道是谁敲的门
[13:49] It’s Claire. I need Surgery Bear. 是克莱尔 我需要手术熊
[13:51] Not a good time, Claire. 时机不对 克莱尔
[13:52] Oh, gotta have it, buddy. 必须得拿到它 老兄
[13:54] You know how in college, 你知道在大学
[13:55] everybody goes through a rebellious phase — 每个人都要经历一段反叛期吗
[13:57] You know how one time Alex locked herself in the bathroom 你还记得有次艾丽克斯把自己锁在浴室
[13:59] and I kicked the door down? 我把门踹开吗
[14:02] That’s what all the fuss is about? An earring? 你紧张兮兮就是为了这个吗 耳钉
[14:04] Ugh. Where’s the bear? 熊呢
[14:05] Closet. 柜子
[14:08] I started with an earring. 耳钉只是个开始
[14:09] No one even noticed. 根本没人注意到
[14:10] So, you might need to up your game, pal. 所以你可能需要升级
[14:12] Try wearing a snake around your neck 可以在脖子上绕个蛇
[14:13] and then act annoyed when people want to talk about it. 然后一有人谈论就表现得你很烦
[14:16] Drawers? 抽屉
[14:18] I went a different way. 我采取了不同的方式
[14:22] Oh! Okay. 好吧
[14:24] Well, first of all, welcome. 首先 欢迎来到反叛期
[14:27] We do have more fun. 我们这样比较有趣
[14:29] I’m guessing you like it, 我猜你喜欢这样
[14:31] but you’re worried what other people will think? 但你担心其他人的想法
[14:33] A passerby likened me to a tennis ball. 路人甲把我比作网球
[14:35] And you can’t… 而你不能…
[14:37] hide in here until it grows out. 躲在这 等着它长长
[14:39] I ran the numbers. 我算过了
[14:40] Even with inside-out wearings, 即使是衣物都反过来穿
[14:42] I’d be out of underwear in three weeks. 我也只能宅在这里三周
[14:43] Yeah. 好吧
[14:46] Um, let me tell you about the happiest guy I know. 我和你讲讲我认识的最开心的家伙
[14:50] He stretched a tightrope across his front yard. 他在他家前院拉了一个钢索
[14:52] Didn’t worry about the neighbors. 从不在意邻居侧目
[14:54] He pogo-sticked to work, and… 他用弹簧单高跷跳着去上班
[14:57] The point is, he doesn’t care what anybody thinks, 关键是 他不在意别人怎么想
[15:01] and if he did, 如果他在意
[15:02] he wouldn’t have had half the fun he’s had. 他就得不到那么多的乐趣
[15:06] Let me ask you again. 我再问你
[15:08] How do you feel about the hair? 你感觉这头发怎么样
[15:10] Kinda like it. Yeah. 还挺喜欢的
[15:12] How do you feel about the fact that Jay’s gonna hate it? 对于杰会讨厌这头发 你有何想法
[15:15] I love that. 我喜欢
[15:19] Thanks, Claire. 谢谢了 克莱尔
[15:20] Yeah, I’m gonna hold on just a little longer. 我得再抱一会儿
[15:22] I need it today. Okay. 我今天超需要拥抱
[15:26] Oh. Cabinet. 橱柜
[15:30] Come on. 不是吧
[15:35] I hate to interrupt, 抱歉打扰一下
[15:36] but if you just scream you’ll call her back, 你就大声嚷说会打回给她吧
[15:38] you might want to see how Joe’s party’s going. 我觉得你会想先去看乔的派对怎么了
[15:44] Apparently, Joe shared the uplifting news 很明显 乔和他的朋友们分享了
[15:46] that his friends could die at any minute. 大家可能随时死掉的振奋人心消息
[15:52] Hey, so, I love what I do, 我喜欢我的工作
[15:54] but I feed off the energy of my audience. 但我以观众的活力为生
[15:56] And if I’m not getting a lot back, 如果观众没什么热情
[15:58] it’s harder for me to forget I’m a 45-year-old 我就更难忘记我已经45岁
[16:00] classically trained actor in a body sock 科班出身却穿着连裤袜
[16:02] and a cape that doubles as a curtain in my van. 披风除了当道具 还得当作车厢窗帘用
[16:05] So, I’m gonna go. 所以我先走了
[16:07] Jackson, Mama’s here! 杰克逊 妈妈来了
[16:09] You told them they were all going to die? 你居然对他们说他们都会死
[16:11] No, only Joe, but in a very nice way. 不 我只对乔说了 但说的方式很温和
[16:14] Really? Because it looks like the “before” picture 真的吗 那他们怎么看起来像
[16:15] in an ad for chewable Prozac. 嚼服百忧解之前的对比照片
[16:17] Take us, too! 把我们也带走
[16:20] Joe, come here. 乔 过来
[16:21] We need to talk again about the thing. 这件事我们得再谈一次
[16:24] I think I’m just gonna go to bed. 我只想去床上躺着
[16:26] Hold on. 等等
[16:27] It’s true we all die sometime. 我们都会在某天死去不假
[16:29] But someone like you, so young, 但像你年纪这么小的人
[16:31] is gonna live a long, long, long time. 会活很久很久的
[16:33] Yeah, and the thing is, 是的 重点是
[16:34] knowing we’re gonna die some day can be a good thing. 知道我们会在某天死去是件好事
[16:36] Because it reminds us to appreciate 因为这能提醒我们
[16:39] every minute that we’re around. 珍惜我们活着时的每分每秒
[16:42] It’s hitting you hard, isn’t it? 这让你很受打击 对吗
[16:43] It feels like I’m never going to laugh again. 我感觉我再也不会笑了
[16:46] But that’s natural. 但这是很自然的
[16:47] This is a pretty adult thing you’re dealing with here. 你面对的是个很成人化的问题
[16:50] In fact, I’d be worried about you if you weren’t 事实上 如果你接下来几天
[16:52] walking underneath a cloud for a few days. 没有垂头丧气 我反而会担心
[16:55] And eventually — 但最终…
[17:04] You, me, bedroom. 你 我 卧室
[17:06] I got the Syrah and I want to do something Syr-wrong. 我拿了红酒 我想好好红红火火浪一浪
[17:08] But what about your massage? 你不按摩了吗
[17:10] I said I didn’t want it. 我说了不想按了
[17:11] Come on. 快来
[17:14] Mitchell, I am so happy we’re doing this. 米奇尔 我们能这样我真高兴
[17:16] We haven’t done anything spontaneous in forever. 我们好久没这样随性过了
[17:18] I hope you like what I picked out for us. 我希望你对我的选择满意
[17:20] It is a little fruitier than we’re used to. 和以往比起来水果味更重些
[17:23] What a day, huh? 今天可真波折
[17:25] Togas and health scares… 罗马托加袍 看急诊
[17:27] Mitchell, I love you, 米奇尔 我爱你
[17:28] and I don’t want Caleb to get between us. 我不想让凯莱布夹在我们中间
[17:31] Oh, so, where do you want me, then? 那你们想让我在哪个位置
[17:32] Wha-? Oh, my God. W-what are you doing here? 我的天 你在这做什么
[17:34] Me? I — Cameron said that you liked me, 我 卡梅隆说你喜欢我
[17:36] and then you said meet you in the bedroom. 然后你又叫我来卧室等你
[17:37] You told Caleb that I liked him? 你告诉凯莱布我喜欢他吗
[17:39] You told him to meet you in the bedroom? 你告诉他来卧室等你吗
[17:40] I thought I was talking to you. 我以为是对你说的
[17:42] Guys, it sounds like all three of us could really use this. 二位 听起来我们三个都需要放纵一下
[17:44] Take it easy, Caleb. 别急 凯莱布
[17:45] You’ll have Mitchell to yourself soon enough. 很快米奇尔就是你的人了
[17:47] Cam, you’re not dying! 小卡 你命长着呢
[17:49] We don’t know that I’m not! 这我们可不知道
[17:51] I-I had a cousin that died at my age 我有个表亲就是我这年纪死的
[17:53] from a genetic condition, 死于遗传病
[17:55] and it runs on my mom’s side of the family. 是我妈这边传下来的
[17:57] And if you have those two genes, you’re at risk. 如果你有那两种基因就有危险
[17:59] That’s why I’ve been acting crazy all day. 所以我今天才神经兮兮的
[18:01] Well, then, take a test 那就去做个检测
[18:03] to make sure you don’t have that pair of mom genes. 确保你没有那对老妈基因[牛仔裤]
[18:06] Mitchell, I did take the test. 米奇尔 我的确去做了检测
[18:08] I took it a week ago, 一周前做的
[18:09] and I’ve been too scared to look at the results. 我太害怕了一直不敢看结果
[18:11] Oh, honey, I’m-I’m so sorry 亲爱的 我真抱歉
[18:13] you’ve been going through this by yourself. 你一直都在独自承受这些
[18:15] Let’s look at the results together, okay? 我们一起看结果 好不好
[18:17] – Really? – Yeah. -真的吗 -当然
[18:21] Okay, here goes. 好 我要看了
[18:23] Oh, thank God. 谢天谢地
[18:24] You’re okay? 你没事
[18:25] No, my Etsy order shipped. 不 是网购订单发货了
[18:26] But, okay, here’s the — here it is. 但 好吧 这就是结果
[18:28] – You look. I cannot look at it. – Okay, okay, okay. -你来看 我不敢看 -好好好
[18:30] It’s-it’s negative. 是阴性的
[18:31] – What? – You’re fine. Look. -什么 -你没事 快看
[18:32] – Is it? ?- Yeah. -真的吗 -真的
[18:33] Oh, my God! I can’t believe it! 我的天 我真不敢相信
[18:35] Oh, now, that is something to celebrate. 这可得好好庆祝一下
[18:38] – Yeah. I love you. – I love you. -是啊 我爱你 -我爱你
[18:40] All right, guys, I’m not-I’m not dense here. 好了 伙计们 我不傻
[18:42] I-I know this is my cue to leave. 我知道我该走人了
[18:46] But what you guys have is… 但你们俩的感情
[18:49] it’s very special. 不是人人都有的
[18:51] You should cherish that. 你们该好好珍惜
[18:53] Caleb — 凯莱布
[18:54] I am so back in. 我当然加入
[18:55] I was gonna say, if you want to take the cookies when you leave… 我只是想说你走时想拿点饼干请自便
[18:57] No offense, but what do you see in him? 无意冒犯 但你到底看上他什么啊
[19:05] Oh, no. I’m in heaven. 不好 我上天堂了
[19:06] No. No, you’re not. Not yet. You made it. 不 你没有 还没有 你活下来了
[19:09] And just so you know, Surgery Bear was here 告诉你一声 手术熊一直都在
[19:12] and scrubbed in for the whole procedure. 他和医生一起为你做了手术
[19:14] That’s pretty dangerous. 那挺危险啊
[19:15] He’s a women’s studies professor. 他是妇女研究的博士[医生]
[19:18] Besides, the only thing I really needed was my neck pillow. 再说 我唯一需要的只是我的颈枕
[19:21] What? 什么
[19:22] I knew if you didn’t have something to keep you busy, 我知道如果不给你找点事让你忙着
[19:23] you’d worry all day. 你会担心一整天
[19:25] Aww, honey. 亲爱的
[19:26] You really do know me. 你真了解我
[19:30] I’m glad you woke up when you did. 我真高兴你及时醒过来了
[19:32] You almost slept through the second Saturday in January. 你差点错过了一月的第二个周六
[19:35] Why would you put it like that? 你为什么会这么说这日子
[19:37] Hear ye, hear ye! 都听好 都听好
[19:39] I hereby declare the opening of the first annual Dunphy Games — 我在此宣布第一届年度邓菲运动会开幕
[19:43] hospital edition. 医院特辑
[19:45] Tests of strength… 力量的考验
[19:48] chance… 运气…
[19:50] – …and cunning. – Yes! -及心计 -赞
[20:00] With the winner receiving the coveted Dunphy chalice. 冠军将赢得令人垂涎的邓菲圣杯
[20:03] To our champion, Mitchell! 向我们的冠军米奇尔致敬
[20:07] Yes! 太棒了
[20:08] Extinguish the torch. 熄灭火炬
[20:10] And that concludes the first Dunphy Games. 第一届邓菲运动会就此落幕
[20:13] Wi-wi-winter Dunphy Games. 是冬季邓菲赛
[20:15] We’ll see you all again July 9 for the Summer — 我们七月九日夏季…
[20:18] Take the win, Phil. 见好就收吧 菲尔
[20:19] – Okay. – Okay. All right. -好吧 -好了好了
[20:23] So we discovered our dad made 我们发现老爸这些年来
[20:24] a series of videos through the years. 拍了一系列视频
[20:26] Every time he was in danger, 每次他身处险境
[20:27] he made a good-bye video for us. 他都给我们拍条告别视频
[20:29] It turns out he’s had the same haircut for a really long time. 原来他这个发型已经好久好久没变过了
[20:33] Hey, kids. 孩子们
[20:34] I’ve been traped in this portable potty for some time now. 我被困在这间移动厕所里有一阵子了
[20:36] As you can see by the curling edges of my moustache, 正如你们所见我的小胡子已经弯曲了
[20:39] the-the chemical fumes are strong. 这里的化学气体太强了
[20:42] I didn’t plan to be on a airplane for Y2K, but… 我没打算在飞机上度过千禧危机 但
[20:45] Here I am. 命运如此
[20:46] A quick loving good-bye 短暂且有爱地告个别
[20:47] as I am surrounded by a swarm of bears. 因为我被一群熊包围了
[20:50] If anything happens to me today, 如果我今天有什么不测
[20:51] I have faith knowing the three of you will always have each others. 我相信你们三个会永远照顾好彼此的
[20:54] My fingers’re numb. 我的手指都麻了
[20:55] To the point which it’s hard to even keep a grip on the phone. 麻到我都抓不住手机了
[20:59] No! 不
[21:00] Oh, no! It’s happening! 不 要开始了
[21:03] It’s ha- Oh. Ther’re-they’re just starting a movie. 要…原来是他们开始放电影了
[21:06] It’s-it’s “A Bug’s Life.” 是动画电影《虫虫危机》
[21:08] They’re goofy. 视频都挺傻的
[21:09] But it’s sweet that he wanted 但他希望临终遗言
[21:10] his last words on earth be something for his family. 是说给家人的 这还挺感动的
[21:13] Yeah. 是啊
[21:14] Also, we’ve reached a point in world history 另外历史进程已经到了
[21:16] where it’s become much to easy to film youself. 自拍变得过于简单的时代了
[21:18] Totally. 没错
[21:20] Wait, what? 等等 你在说什么
摩登家庭

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