时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:46] | 950. | 950个 |
[00:52] | 975. | 975个 |
[00:54] | 980. 985. | 980个 985个 |
[00:57] | 990. | 990个 |
[00:59] | 995. 997. | 995个 997个 |
[01:02] | 998. | 998个 |
[01:03] | 1,000! | 1000个 |
[01:08] | 1,003! | 1003个 |
[01:12] | Yes sir! | 你太棒了 |
[01:17] | Over 1,000 self-satisfied customers. | 超过1000个成功自慰的顾客 |
[01:22] | And we’re out. | 行了 先到这儿 |
[01:30] | All right. | 好了 |
[01:32] | You take ten, | 你先休息十分钟 |
[01:34] | and then we will start… | 然后再来… |
[01:37] | – Round three. – Oh, no can do. | -第三轮 -做不到了 |
[01:40] | Honey, my dick’s down for the count. | 亲爱的 我的鸡巴已经累死过去了 |
[01:43] | Listen now, | 听我说 |
[01:44] | there are a lot of fans out there | 网上有好多的粉丝 |
[01:46] | who are wanting to see you go for the record. | 在翘首盼着你打破纪录 |
[01:47] | The record? | 什么纪录 |
[01:49] | Set by the legendary Peter Pounder. | 传奇人物「打桩机彼得」创造的纪录 |
[01:52] | He once came 6 times in 45 minutes. | 他曾在45分钟内射了6次 |
[01:58] | 6 times in 45 minutes? | 45分钟射6次吗 |
[02:01] | I haven’t done that since I was 18. | 我18岁后就没干过这么疯狂的事了 |
[02:05] | Well then, | 那么 |
[02:07] | don’t you worry your pretty little dick about it. | 你就别操心这事了 |
[02:09] | Twice in 30 minutes is very… | 30分钟射2次已经非常.. |
[02:13] | respectable. | 过得去了 |
[02:17] | Respectable? | 过得去 |
[02:22] | Rev up the web cam, boys. | 打开摄像头 伙计们 |
[02:25] | We’re going for the gold. | 我们非拿到第一不可 |
[02:27] | Attaboy, champ. | 好样的 冠军 |
[02:32] | And we’re live. | 现场直播开始 |
[02:44] | I made you sausage and peppers, | 我给你做了黑椒香肠 |
[02:45] | and I don’t want to hear a goddamned word about it. | 我可不想听到任何抱怨 |
[02:47] | Are you kidding me? | 你开玩笑吧 |
[02:49] | If it wasn’t for you, I’d probably starve to death. | 要不是你 我早就饿死了 |
[02:51] | Well, as the mother of a future captain of industry, | 作为这个行业未来领头羊的母亲 |
[02:53] | I couldn’t very well let that happen. | 我可不会让这种事发生 |
[02:55] | Well, I don’t want to burst your bubble, mom, but… | 我不想戳破你的美梦 妈妈 但是 |
[02:57] | I’m not exactly gonna become a gazillionaire selling comics. | 我靠卖漫画 显然是成不了亿万富翁的 |
[02:59] | Everybody has to start somewhere, sweetheart, | 万事开头难 亲爱的 |
[03:02] | and you’ve started. That’s what’s important. | 况且你已经开头了 这才是最重要的 |
[03:05] | I’m so proud of you, Michael. | 我为你骄傲 迈克 |
[03:07] | You’ve turned out to be quite a man. | 你已经蜕变成真正的男人了 |
[03:10] | Chew your food. | 好好吃吧 |
[03:18] | I was in the neighbourhood. | 我刚好路过这儿 |
[03:20] | Um, you left this at my place. | 你把这个落在我家了 |
[03:24] | His place? | 他家吗 |
[03:27] | I didn’t know you were getting laid. | 我都不知道你有性生活了 |
[03:28] | Good for you. | 好样的 |
[03:31] | I’m his mother. | 我是他妈妈 |
[03:32] | Yes. I remember. | 我知道 有印象 |
[03:34] | He remembers me. | 他对我有印象 |
[03:35] | You’re a little hard to forget. | 你让人”过目不忘”啊 |
[03:37] | And for your information, I didn’t get laid. | 声明一下 我还没有性生活 |
[03:39] | Too bad. | 真可惜 |
[03:45] | I have to get back to the diner. | 我得回餐厅去了 |
[03:47] | It’s nice seeing you again. | 很高兴再次见到你 |
[03:50] | Better luck this time. | 祝你这次好运 |
[03:53] | Bye. | 再见 |
[03:59] | That is some kind of mother you got there. | 你妈妈真是非常”与众不同” |
[04:00] | You don’t know the half. | 你还没真正见识到呢 |
[04:02] | Yeah. I’d like to. | 好吧 我很想见识下 |
[04:04] | And, I’d like to know all there is to know about you. | 我想了解关于你的一切 |
[04:08] | Stop, you’re making me blush, which… | 快别说了 我脸都红了 |
[04:10] | after growing up with her, you’d think would be impossible. | 在她身边长大 脸皮应该厚到不会脸红才对 |
[04:13] | I also wanted to see how you were… | 我还想知道 你…. |
[04:16] | how you were doing after last night. | 昨晚发生那样的事 你还好吧 |
[04:18] | You know, uh, after my big announcement: | 就是 在我告知了关于我的信息后 |
[04:21] | “Hi there. My name’s Ben. I’m 33. | “你好 我叫本 33岁 |
[04:23] | Pisces, love the outdoors, | 双鱼座 爱好户外活动 |
[04:24] | and I’m HIV-positive.” | HIV阳性患者” |
[04:28] | I still haven’t figured out a way to… | 我还是没能想出委婉地丢出… |
[04:29] | drop that bomb gracefully. | 那个重磅炸弹的办法 |
[04:32] | I hope I didn’t seem too thrown. | 希望我当时没有反应过度 |
[04:33] | It’s just the first time it’s come up | 这还是我第一次遇到 |
[04:35] | with someone that I’ve been interested in. | 我感兴趣的人患有这种疾病 |
[04:38] | Interested as in… as in still interested? | 是感兴趣过 还是依然感兴趣 |
[04:43] | Okay, well that’s good. | 那就好 很好 |
[04:46] | Some guys, you tell them, they run for the door. | 不像有些人 一旦知道了就夺路而逃 |
[04:49] | So you’re not… you’re not freaked out. | 所以你…你没有被吓坏吧 |
[04:51] | Please. Right after my mother told me I was gay, | 拜托 在我妈告诉我我是个同性恋后 |
[04:53] | she gave me this big safe sex lecture. | 她就反复教我如何进行安全性爱 |
[04:55] | I… I knew how to put a condom on a cucumber | 我 学会给黄瓜套安全套 |
[04:57] | before I knew how to drive. | 比我学会开车还要早 |
[04:59] | Yeah, well… yeah, I… | 好吧 那 我… |
[05:01] | I was gonna ask you out tonight, but… | 我本想今晚邀请你出去约会 但是 |
[05:04] | now I’m not so sure. | 现在我不太确定了 |
[05:06] | – Why not? – Well… | -为什么 -因为… |
[05:08] | Michael, a cucumber is a lot to live up to. | 迈克 要达到黄瓜那样的尺寸很难啊 |
[05:16] | What d’ya say, doc? She gonna live? | 怎么样 大医生 能修好吗 |
[05:18] | You got grief in the gearbox, baby, | 变速箱惨遭不幸 宝贝 |
[05:21] | just like my love life. | 就像我的情感生活 |
[05:22] | So how much are we looking at? | 修好要花多少钱 |
[05:24] | Ooh, it ain’t gonna be cheap. | 这可不便宜啊 |
[05:26] | Ah, shit! | 妈的 |
[05:28] | Language. | 别说脏话 |
[05:29] | You want to turn our Gus into a trash-mouth? | 你想让盖斯也满口脏话吗 |
[05:31] | Like mommy, like son. | 有其母必有其子 |
[05:35] | Leda says we’re looking at some major repairs. | 丽达说这车需要大修 |
[05:37] | Oh, no! | 不要啊 |
[05:38] | Just when we almost have enough saved for the wedding. | 我们刚存够钱举办婚礼 |
[05:41] | Guess we’ll just have to cut a few corners, | 现在要削减预算了 |
[05:43] | like printing up our own invitations on the computer. | 比如自己打印请帖 |
[05:45] | I am not having some tacky announcements. | 我才不要用那么俗气的东西来宣布婚讯 |
[05:47] | Fine. We can walk to the ceremony. | 好吧 我们步行到礼堂 |
[05:50] | – There must be some other way. – Forget my mom. | -总会有其它的办法 -别指望我妈 |
[05:52] | The early-bird special was hatched in her honour. | 她是个恨不得一分钱都掰成两半花的人 |
[05:56] | What about your folks? | 那你的父母呢 |
[05:58] | What, “Huh”? | 为什么这么不屑 |
[06:00] | Honey, you’re a dyke, you’re marrying a jew, | 亲爱的 你是拉拉 又要嫁给犹太人 |
[06:02] | and you’re a registered Democrat. Need I say more? | 你还加入了民主党 还要我继续说吗 |
[06:04] | I’ll bring it up at dinner tonight. | 今晚吃饭的时候我会提出来的 |
[06:06] | I thought you didn’t want to go. | 我以为你不想去 |
[06:07] | Now we have a reason to. | 现在我们有理由去了 |
[06:10] | I don’t want you begging them for money. | 我不想你求他们给钱 |
[06:12] | I’m not begging. | 我才不求呢 |
[06:12] | They paid for all three of my sister’s weddings. | 我姐姐结三次婚 都是他们付的钱 |
[06:14] | They can fucking well chip in for ours. | 他们也该为我们的婚礼出一次钱 操 |
[06:16] | – Language. – Language. | -别说脏话 -别说脏话 |
[06:20] | So anyone up for Babylon tonight? | 今晚有人去巴比伦夜店吗 |
[06:21] | I can’t. I got… I gotta do inventory. | 我去不了 我得做库存盘点 |
[06:24] | I thought inventory was the last week of the month. | 不是每个月的最后一周才做库存盘点吗 |
[06:27] | It is when you have a business that’s on its feet, | 那是生意正常运转下的情况 |
[06:29] | but you know, uh, when you’re just starting out… | 但你们也知道 我的店才开张… |
[06:30] | All right, so, who is he? Who is he? | 好啦 那个人是谁 那个人是谁 |
[06:32] | – Who is he? Who is he? – Nobody. | -是谁 是谁 -没谁 |
[06:33] | I bet it’s that teacher. | 我敢说肯定是那个老师 |
[06:37] | He… he’s a professor, not a teacher. | 他是教授 不是老师 |
[06:39] | The professor. | 是教授啊 |
[06:41] | So, what does that make you, Mary Ann or Ginger? | 那你是什么 玛丽·安还是金吉 |
[06:41] | 典出经典剧集《吉利根岛》 当中有个角色是教授 | |
[06:44] | – So when do we get to meet him? – Never! | -我们什么时候见见他 -没门 |
[06:46] | Why? Is something wrong with him? | 为什么 他有什么问题吗 |
[06:47] | Something wrong with you. | 你才有问题呢 |
[06:49] | I would like this one to live, | 我希望他能好好活下去 |
[06:51] | before my best friends devour him. | 免得被我最好的朋友们生吞活剥 |
[06:53] | Hey, you’re Fetch Dixon, aren’t you? | 你是费奇·迪克逊 对吧 |
[06:56] | Uh, yes. Yeah. Yes, uh, yes I am. | 是的 没错 我就是 |
[06:59] | I’m a… I’m a huge fan. | 我是你的大粉丝 |
[07:01] | – Not as huge as you– – Fetch Dixon! | -当然 没你那么”大” -是费奇·迪克逊 |
[07:04] | Well, thank you. That… that… that’s so nice. | 谢谢你 这让我受宠若惊 |
[07:08] | Could I… see it? | 我能 看看吗 |
[07:10] | You know, just… for a second? | 就一下下 |
[07:12] | – Show him. – All right… | -给他看 -好吧 |
[07:13] | No, no, no, no. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. | 不行 不行 抱歉抱歉 |
[07:15] | Look, if you want to sample the merchandise, | 听着 如果你想看货 |
[07:17] | you have to sign on to JerkatWork.net. | 你得登陆「性福工作」网站 |
[07:20] | Sorry. | 抱歉啦 |
[07:23] | That’s the third time today. | 这已经是今天第三次了 |
[07:26] | Well, you better get used to it. | 你最好习惯这种事 |
[07:28] | Emmett’s a star. | 艾美特成了明星 |
[07:29] | His dick’s a star. | 他的鸡巴才是明星 |
[07:31] | He’s just the life-support system. | 他只是生命补给系统 |
[07:33] | Careful, he’ll get a swelled head. | 小心点 他会骄傲自”大” |
[07:34] | Hey, save it for the website. | 嘿 留着在网站上射 |
[07:37] | Will you all just stop? | 你们别调侃我了好吗 |
[07:39] | I’m not a star. | 我不是明星 |
[07:41] | I’m still little old me, | 我还是过去那个我 |
[07:43] | you know, plain old country-boy from Mississippi, | 一个来自密西西比州的单纯乡村男孩 |
[07:45] | giving my friend Teddy a helping hand. | 只是帮好朋友泰迪的忙 举”手”之劳 |
[07:52] | And the way Lynette’s been hinting, | 听丽奈特的口气 |
[07:53] | I think I might be a grandmother soon. | 我应该很快就能做外婆了 |
[07:56] | You already are… | 你已经是了 |
[07:59] | In case you’ve forgotten. | 除非你忘了 |
[08:00] | I know, dear. | 我知道 亲爱的 |
[08:05] | – There you are. – Mm, thank you. | -给 -谢谢 |
[08:08] | Uh, Mrs. Peterson, | 彼得森夫人 |
[08:09] | that necklace is so lovely. | 你的项链很漂亮 |
[08:11] | Is that red coral from Bali? | 是巴厘岛的红珊瑚吗 |
[08:13] | Why yes. Have you been? | 是啊 你去过那儿吗 |
[08:15] | No. No, actually, | 没有 其实 |
[08:16] | my aunt Dotty owns a jewelry store. | 我婶婶多蒂是开珠宝行的 |
[08:19] | Lynette bought it for me on one of her honeymoons. | 丽奈特蜜月旅行时给我买的 |
[08:22] | Don’t ask which. | 别问是哪一次 |
[08:23] | We decided to skip our honeymoon for now, | 我们决定暂时免掉蜜月旅行 |
[08:26] | you know, considering all the expenses? | 毕竟 开销太大了 |
[08:28] | We’re out of rolls. | 面包吃完了 |
[08:30] | Can we get some rolls here, please? | 麻烦再给我们上点面包 好吗 |
[08:32] | We should have tried Chez Denis over on the river. | 我们应该去谢茨丹尼水上餐厅的 |
[08:35] | Duncan took Lynette there on Saturday. | 邓肯周六带丽奈特去过 |
[08:38] | Had a lovely meal. | 美餐一顿 |
[08:39] | We’re thinking of having them cater our reception. | 我们考虑让那家餐厅负责承办婚宴 |
[08:42] | Aren’t they expensive? | 那家餐厅不是很贵吗 |
[08:43] | Well, no more than the one Lynette used… all three times. | 不会比丽奈特婚宴的花费高 她三次都请的那家 |
[08:46] | You got to admit, she’s consistent. | 不得不承认 她始终如一 |
[08:49] | And besides, getting married these days | 再说了 这年头办婚礼 |
[08:51] | is an expensive proposition, no matter what you do. | 不管你怎么办 都是笔很大的开销 |
[08:58] | That’s why we were hoping that… | 所以我们希望 |
[09:01] | you might be able to help us out a little. | 你们能够资助一下我们 |
[09:03] | If you see the waiter, could you ask him for some butter? | 叫服务生过来 再上点黄油 |
[09:05] | I mean, we’re handling it all by ourselves, but… | 我们愿意自力更生 但是… |
[09:07] | we could use some assistance, | 我们也需要帮助 |
[09:09] | no matter how small. | 不论多么微小 |
[09:12] | Anything would be helpful. | 哪怕一点点也能帮上我们 |
[09:14] | Honey… | 亲爱的 |
[09:15] | You helped Lynette with her wedding. | 丽奈特的婚礼你们就出了不少力 |
[09:17] | That’s different. | 那不一样 |
[09:19] | Why is it different? | 哪里不一样 |
[09:21] | Because her wedding was real. | 因为她的婚礼是真正的婚礼 |
[09:26] | Yours is… | 而你们的… |
[09:30] | Well, I don’t know what yours is. | 我不知道你们的婚礼算什么 |
[09:37] | How is your steak, dear? | 牛排好吃吗 亲爱的 |
[09:38] | Just great. | 非常美味 |
[09:45] | It’s been a long time since I made out in the park. | 我已经很久没跟人约在公园里见面了 |
[09:48] | Well, stick with me and maybe you’ll get lucky. | 跟紧我 或许你会遇到”性福” |
[09:50] | Ah, really? | 真的吗 |
[09:52] | I finished your book. | 我看完你的书了 |
[09:54] | Oh yeah? “So how… how’d you like it,” | 是吗 你觉得怎么样 |
[09:56] | the insecure writer asked, | 我这个不安的作者问到 |
[09:58] | trying desperately to sound nonchalant. | 同时还要竭尽全力装作无所谓 |
[10:00] | I didn’t. | 我不喜欢 |
[10:02] | I loved it. | 我是超爱 |
[10:04] | You… | 你… |
[10:06] | Especially that part where the customs officials in Thailand | 尤其是 泰国海关 |
[10:09] | – confiscated your HIV meds. – Oh, yeah. | -没收你的艾滋病药那段 -是啊 |
[10:13] | That was one of the worst days of my life. | 那是我人生中最糟糕的日子之一 |
[10:15] | But, as they say, | 但是 就像人们常说的 |
[10:17] | out of adversity, you know, comes knowledge, and… | 吃一堑 长一智 |
[10:20] | I’ve learned to put my fears aside, and just… | 我已经学会了不再恐惧 |
[10:23] | find serenity in the chaos. | 在混乱中寻找平静 |
[10:26] | I wish I could do that. | 我希望我也可以做到 |
[10:28] | I do just the opposite. | 但我恰恰和这相反 |
[10:29] | I could find chaos in serenity with my eyes closed. | 我只要闭上眼睛 在平静中都能找到混乱 |
[10:33] | I think that the secret is | 我觉得秘诀是 |
[10:34] | to stop regretting the past and fearing the future, | 不悔过去 不惧未来 |
[10:39] | and… just live in the now. | 活在当下 |
[10:43] | Sounds like something my mom would say. | 简直像我老妈在说教 |
[10:45] | She always says, “If you’ve got one foot in tomorrow | 她老是说”如果你一脚踏在明天 |
[10:47] | and one foot in yesterday, you’ll piss on today.” | 一脚陷在过去 今天就要遭殃” |
[10:51] | Actually she says “Shit”, | 她的原话是”今天就会跟屎一样” |
[10:52] | but I want…I wanted to clean it up a little. | 不过我想说得文明点 |
[10:55] | Yeah, actually, your mom and Buddha have a lot in common. | 其实你妈跟佛祖有很多共同点 |
[10:58] | What, Jenny Craig dropouts? | 都是减肥半途而废吗 |
[11:00] | No. No, um… | 不 不是的 |
[11:02] | He teaches you to… | 佛祖教你 |
[11:03] | focus on the smallest details. | 要关注生活中的细节 |
[11:06] | You know, the… breeze against your cheek… | 微风拂过你脸颊的感觉 |
[11:10] | The way your shirt falls against your body… | 衬衫从你身上滑落的感觉 |
[11:15] | The feel of someone’s hand on your back… | 别人的手划过你后背的感觉 |
[11:18] | helps you realize that… | 都能帮你意识到 |
[11:20] | right now, this moment is… | 现在 此时此刻 |
[11:23] | it’s all there is. | 才是最重要的 |
[11:27] | Well, if that’s true, then… | 如果真是这样 那么 |
[11:30] | we should probably take advantage of it. | 我们应该及时行乐 |
[11:33] | Yeah. | 没错 |
[11:49] | Come on. | 走吧 |
[11:51] | Where are we going? | 我们要去哪儿 |
[11:54] | To experience the now. | 去感受当下 |
[12:13] | I’ve just… I’ve got an eye for this kind of thing | 我刚才留意了下 |
[12:14] | and I can tell you’ve got talent… | 发现你”天赋异禀” |
[12:17] | big, big talent, so… | “巨大”的天赋 |
[12:20] | if you ever want to earn some extra cash, in your spare time, just… | 如果你想在闲暇时间赚点外快 |
[12:25] | give me a call. | 给我打电话 |
[12:26] | We’ll set up an audition. | 我们会安排试镜 |
[12:28] | – Okay. – Good. | -好的 -很好 |
[12:29] | – Thanks, man. – Thanks. | -谢了 老兄 -谢谢 |
[12:33] | Hey, porn king, | 嘿 色情片大王 |
[12:36] | why don’t you introduce me to some of your new friends? | 怎么不介绍我认识一下你的新朋友们 |
[12:39] | Any time, Bri. | 随时都行 布莱 |
[12:43] | Is that a Rolex? | 这是劳力士表吗 |
[12:44] | You bet it is. | 那当然 |
[12:46] | All those years, seeing those wealthy clients come in | 这么多年 看着那些有钱的客户们 |
[12:49] | with their big cars and their fancy jewelry, | 开着豪华轿车 戴着名贵首饰进进出出 |
[12:51] | and there I was, this dumb jerk in a cubicle, | 而我却缩在狭小的办公室里 |
[12:53] | hunched over a computer making them rich. | 猫着腰为他们谋财 |
[12:56] | Now it’s my turn. | 终于轮到我成为有钱人了 |
[12:57] | Hey, there’s Fetch. | 快看 是费奇 |
[12:58] | Hey, Hon. You’re so hot, Fetch. | 你好啊 亲爱的 你真性感 费奇 |
[13:03] | All right. Easy. | 好吧 别激动 |
[13:04] | Boys, there’s… there’s… | 小伙子们 这… |
[13:06] | there’s more than enough of me to go around for everyone. | 要应付那么多人 我分身乏术啊 |
[13:12] | Ultimately it’s all so empty. | 可到头来还是空无一人 |
[13:15] | You know, at the end of the night, you still go home alone. | 等晚上回家 还是孤身一人 |
[13:24] | But not tonight. | 今晚例外 |
[13:26] | Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it. | 慢着 等等 |
[13:27] | What do you think you’re doing? | 你以为你在干什么 |
[13:29] | You have a matinee tomorrow. | 你明天白天还要表演呢 |
[13:31] | – So? – So you need to conserve your strength. | -那又怎样 -你得保存体力 |
[13:35] | And no more drinking and eating peanuts. | 别吃花生 也别喝酒 |
[13:38] | You’ll gain weight. Now… | 你会发胖的 好了 |
[13:40] | Go home. Get some sleep. | 回家 睡觉 |
[13:42] | That’s an order. | 这是命令 |
[13:47] | Hi. How’s it going? | 嗨 你好吗 |
[13:50] | I’m Ted Schmidt. | 我是泰德·施密特 |
[13:52] | I own JerkatWork.net. | 我是「性福工作网」的站主 |
[13:55] | I’ve got an eye for this kind of thing | 我在这方面眼光很毒辣 |
[13:56] | and I can tell you’ve got big… | 我能看出你有”巨大”的… |
[13:58] | So Mr. Producer gets to go home with the hottie, | 制片先生可以带性感男人回家享受 |
[14:00] | and the poor little star has to go home alone? | 我们的明星小可怜 却只能孤身回家吗 |
[14:04] | He’s right. I… | 他说得没错 我… |
[14:06] | I need to conserve my strength. | 我得保存体力 |
[14:09] | Well, let me see your wrist. | 让我看看你的手腕 |
[14:14] | That’s a stunning watch you’re wearing. | 你的手表真漂亮 |
[14:17] | I’m not wearing a watch. | 我没戴手表 |
[14:19] | Wow, Emmett, you’re really observant. | 艾美特 你的观察力真敏锐 |
[14:23] | He’s got a Rolex. | 他都戴上劳力士了 |
[14:28] | And you better hurry home. | 你还是早点回家吧 |
[14:31] | A star needs his beauty rest. | 明星需要睡美容觉 |
[14:47] | I thought when you said you wanted to experience the now, | 你之前说要感受当下 我还以为 |
[14:50] | – you meant something spiritual. – I did. | -是指精神层面的 -没错 |
[14:53] | This tribe I visited in New Guinea | 我去过新几内亚的一个部落 |
[14:55] | would dance until they collapsed. | 人们会一直跳舞直到累倒在地上 |
[14:57] | It’s how they freed themselves from their bodies, from time. | 这是他们超脱身体和时间的方法 |
[15:01] | Looked just like this, | 就像这样 |
[15:02] | uh, except for the light show, | 不过那里没有炫目的灯光 |
[15:03] | but, uh, then they had shooting stars. | 但他们有流星 |
[15:29] | There’s Michael with some hottie. | 迈克跟一个性感帅哥在那里 |
[15:36] | Hey, Michael. | 嘿 迈克 |
[15:39] | Over here. | 这儿 |
[15:42] | We’ve been spotted. | 我们被发现了 |
[15:43] | I should warn you, my friends can be a little… | 我先提醒你 我的朋友们有点… |
[15:45] | What? Judgmental? | 怎么 喜欢评头论足 |
[15:47] | Uh, vicious? Condescending? | 恶毒刁难 颐指气使吗 |
[15:49] | So you’ve met them? | 你认识他们吧 |
[15:57] | Ben, this is… | 本 这几位是… |
[15:58] | Ted, Justin and Brian. | 泰德 贾斯汀还有布莱恩 |
[16:02] | Nice to meet you. | 很高兴认识你 |
[16:03] | Thought you were taking inventory. | 你不是说要在店里盘点库存吗 |
[16:04] | I was. | 我搞完了 |
[16:06] | You look awfully familiar. Uh, did you go to Penn? | 你挺眼熟的 是在宾夕法尼亚大学念的书吗 |
[16:09] | Uh, Yale undergrad, | 我在耶鲁读的本科 |
[16:10] | uh, then Iowa for the creative writing programme. | 然后参加了爱荷华大学的创造性写作项目 |
[16:13] | Ben wrote a book called “R-U-1-2”. | 本写了本书叫《你也是吗》 |
[16:16] | Yeah, that’s where I recognized you from. | 没错 我想起来为什么会觉得你眼熟了 |
[16:18] | I saw your interview in “The Advocate”. | 我在《倡导者》杂志上看过你的采访 |
[16:20] | I ran right out and bought it. | 我立刻跑出去买了那本书 |
[16:22] | Oh, really? So you were the one. | 是吗 所以你就是唯一买了那书的人 |
[16:24] | Come on. It was… You got great reviews. | 拜托 那本书的评价很棒啊 |
[16:26] | I mean, it was so honest, so… | 书中的描述真的很坦诚 非常… |
[16:28] | forthright. It was so, uh… | 非常直率 而且 |
[16:31] | so revealing. | 知无不言 |
[16:33] | Yeah, well that’s… that’s what writers do, you know. | 没错 作家不就该这样吗 |
[16:35] | We just, uh, cut ourselves open and… | 我们自我剖析 |
[16:37] | and bleed all over the page. | 字字泣血 |
[16:40] | I thought you wanted to dance. | 你不是想跳舞吗 |
[16:41] | See you, guys. | 回见 |
[16:48] | He’s really hot. | 他真性感 |
[16:50] | He’s all right. | 他也就还行吧 |
[16:51] | Looks, brains. | 有美貌 有头脑 |
[16:54] | He’s a nice guy too. | 他人也很好 |
[16:55] | I’d say he’s perfect except for one thing. | 我觉得除了一点 他几乎是完美的 |
[16:59] | He’s positive. | 他是HIV阳性患者 |
[17:10] | I got you a croissant. | 我给你买了羊角面包 |
[17:12] | I don’t want a croissant. | 我不想吃羊角面包 |
[17:14] | You love croissants. | 你爱吃羊角面包的 |
[17:15] | I said I don’t want one, okay? So drop it. | 我说了我不想吃 到此为止[扔掉] |
[17:20] | I didn’t mean literally. | 我没叫你真的扔掉 |
[17:22] | I wish you’d drop it too, this charming mood. | 我希望你也不要这样发愁了 |
[17:25] | I can’t help it. | 我忍不住 |
[17:27] | Oh, I should never have asked them. | 我就不该向他们求助的 |
[17:30] | So you did. They said no. | 但你求了 他们拒绝了 |
[17:32] | Now it’s over. | 一切到此为止 |
[17:33] | Come on. Let’s go look at wedding cakes. | 好了 我们去看看婚礼蛋糕吧 |
[17:36] | What for? We can’t afford one. | 看什么 我们买不起的 |
[17:38] | Maybe if we’re careful, we can save up enough for a ding dong. | 我们紧衣缩食 兴许还能买个夹心小蛋糕 |
[17:41] | Look, we’ll find the money to pay for it. | 我们最终总能搞到钱的 |
[17:44] | It’s not about the money. | 不是钱的问题 |
[17:48] | – It’s about… – Love? | -而是… -爱吗 |
[17:51] | You want them to show you the same attention they show Lynette. | 你希望他们像爱丽奈特一样爱你 |
[17:58] | Maybe we have to put forth more of an effort. | 也许我们应该多做一些努力 |
[18:02] | We’ve never really asked them over to… | 我们也从没邀请他们过来 |
[18:04] | see how we live, meet our friends… | 看看我们的生活 见见我们的朋友 |
[18:09] | Which makes us just a guilty as they are. | 所以我们跟他们一样也有错 |
[18:13] | So, what do we do? | 那我们该怎么办 |
[18:15] | Invite them over. Throw a little party. | 邀请他们 办个小派对 |
[18:18] | You’re serious. | 你没开玩笑吧 |
[18:21] | If they could see that we’re a real family | 如果他们看见我们是真正的一家人 |
[18:24] | with a real life just like your sister, | 过着正经的生活 跟你姐姐没两样 |
[18:27] | they might feel differently. | 他们也许会改变看法 |
[18:32] | It’s at least worth a shot. | 至少值得一试啊 |
[18:36] | Come on. | 来吧 |
[18:45] | May I show you something? | 需要点什么吗 |
[18:46] | Yeah. We’d like to look at wedding cakes. | 我们想看看婚礼蛋糕 |
[18:48] | Oh, lovely. They’re… | 好的 |
[18:49] | “I’m positive.” | “我是HIV阳性患者” |
[18:51] | It was the first thing out of his mouth. | 那几乎是从他嘴里说出来的第一句话 |
[18:52] | After your dick. | 在你从他嘴里拔出鸡巴之后 |
[18:53] | It’s commendable that he told you, | 他向你坦白难能可贵 |
[18:55] | but it still doesn’t change the fact | 但这也改变不了 |
[18:56] | that you’re playing with fire. | 你在玩火的事实 |
[18:59] | I mean, what happens if a condom breaks, | 想想看 万一安全套破了怎么办 |
[19:00] | or he’s flossing his teeth and his gums bleed. | 或者他用牙线剔牙时划破牙龈了 |
[19:03] | Or if he shoots his load | 又或者他快射的时候 |
[19:04] | and you’re bending over to tie your shoe | 你正好弯腰系鞋带 |
[19:05] | and it accidentally flies up your ass. | 然后恰好射进你屁股里了 |
[19:08] | Jesus christ, Brian, | 天啊 布莱恩 |
[19:09] | do you have to make a fucking joke out of everything? | 你他妈什么事都能拿来开玩笑吗 |
[19:10] | Even your best friend’s safety? | 哪怕事关你最好的朋友的安全 |
[19:12] | I know how to be safe. | 我知道怎么做到安全 |
[19:13] | No, you think you do. | 不 你只是以为你知道 |
[19:15] | We all do. | 我们都这样 |
[19:17] | It’s more than just being careful. | 仅仅是小心远远不够 |
[19:18] | It’s knowing that you’re living with death, | 要知道你在和死亡共舞 |
[19:20] | knowing that Ben has something inside him that could kill him, | 要知道本体内有足以杀死他的病毒 |
[19:23] | and if you have just one little fuck-up, | 你只要有一点点闪失 |
[19:26] | one moment of forgetfulness, just one mistake, | 稍微疏忽一点 哪怕一点点 |
[19:29] | it could kill you too. | 你也会完蛋 |
[19:32] | I think you’re being a little dramatic, Teddy. | 我觉得你有点夸张了 泰迪 |
[19:35] | There are plenty of guys who have boyfriends who are positive. | 有不少人的男朋友都是HIV阳性患者 |
[19:37] | Well, those people aren’t Michael. | 但那些人不是迈克 |
[19:40] | And you weren’t so fucking nonchalant | 你之前误以为自己被感染了 |
[19:41] | when you thought you might have been infected. | 可没这么淡定 |
[19:43] | Look, I appreciate your concern. | 听着 谢谢你的关心 |
[19:45] | But you’re talking about Ben like he’s a disease | 但你把本说得跟瘟疫一样 |
[19:47] | and not a person. | 简直不是个人 |
[19:50] | And if you were seeing someone that you cared about | 要是你真正喜欢的人 |
[19:52] | who was positive, I think you’d feel differently. | 也是HIV阳性患者 你就不会这样想了 |
[19:54] | No, I’m sorry. I… | 不 对不起 我… |
[19:55] | I know it’s not politically correct or even nice, | 我知道这政治不正确 也不厚道 |
[19:57] | but no, I wouldn’t do it no matter how much I liked the guy. | 但不管我有多喜欢那个人 我都不会那么做 |
[20:00] | Wouldn’t do what, honey? | 不会做什么 亲爱的 |
[20:01] | Date someone who’s positive. | 跟HIV阳性患者恋爱 |
[20:05] | Well that’s a hell of an attitude. | 你们这态度可真够差劲的 |
[20:08] | And I’ve gotta say | 我必须说 |
[20:09] | I’m kinda surprised hearing it from one of you, | 听见你们当中有人这么说 我很惊讶 |
[20:10] | considering all the guys you fuck. | 毕竟你们跟那么多男人上过床 |
[20:12] | Yeah, numbers may vary from person to person. | 得了吧 我们几个人的床伴数量差异巨大 |
[20:14] | I mean, one of you could be positive. | 你们当中就有人可能成为HIV阳性患者 |
[20:17] | The reason you’re not certainly isn’t because you’re always careful. | 你们没染上并不代表你们很谨慎 |
[20:21] | I know goddamn well that isn’t true. | 我很清楚不是那样的 |
[20:25] | You’re lucky. | 你们只是走运 |
[20:26] | You’re fucking lucky. | 太他妈走运了 |
[20:30] | So don’t tell me you couldn’t love somebody | 别告诉我你们无法爱上一个 |
[20:31] | just because they’re not as fortunate as you are. | 运气没你们好的人 |
[20:35] | It’s all the more reason to, if you ask me. | 要我说 应该更爱那个人才对 |
[20:37] | Thank you, mother. | 谢谢你 妈 |
[20:39] | What for, honey? | 谢什么 亲爱的 |
[20:41] | Ben’s positive. | 本是HIV阳性患者 |
[20:52] | So, can I get you guys anything else? | 你们还要吃点什么吗 |
[20:54] | Thanks. | 谢了 |
[21:01] | You’re on in five minutes. Where have you been? | 再过5分钟就要开演了 你去哪了 |
[21:05] | Preparing… | 我列了张 |
[21:07] | a list. | 清单 |
[21:08] | Well, you can do your grocery shopping later, okay? | 你可以待会儿再去买杂货 好吗 |
[21:11] | It’s, uh, it’s not that kind of list. | 不是那种清单 |
[21:21] | “Private dressing room with toilet, | “带厕所的私人化妆间 |
[21:23] | rotating bed, 10% of gross profit”. | 旋转床 毛利润的10%分成” |
[21:26] | What the fuck is this? | 这是什么鬼东西 |
[21:27] | Uh, they’re… they’re called artist’s demands. | 这叫做艺人需求 |
[21:30] | “Lube”? What’s wrong with the lube? | “润滑油” 润滑油怎么了 |
[21:32] | That grease is so cheap, | 你提供的油脂是便宜货 |
[21:33] | you could fry chicken in it. | 都可以拿来炸鸡了 |
[21:35] | This is a joke, right? | 你在开玩笑吧 |
[21:37] | If it is, I fail to see the humour. | 我不觉得有什么好笑的 |
[21:40] | Oh, um, don’t, uh, don’t forget that one. | 对了 别忘了那个哦 |
[21:42] | Kind of my favourite. | 那可是我的最爱 |
[21:45] | Your name over the bed. | 床头悬挂你的名字 |
[21:47] | Well, I… am the star. | 毕竟 我是明星 |
[21:50] | The star gets top billing. | 明星就要有头牌的地位 |
[21:51] | I was thinking of using just “Fetch”. | 我在想就用”费奇”这个艺名 |
[21:54] | You know, like Cher. | 就像雪儿那样 |
[21:56] | All, uh, all done up, twinkly lights, | 背景要有闪闪的彩灯 |
[21:58] | so, uh, so my fans can see it when you pull back for a long shot. | 这样拍长镜头时 我的粉丝就能看见 |
[22:01] | Well, excuse me, Cher, but, uh, | 不好意思 雪儿 |
[22:04] | there’s only one long shot your fans are interested in, | 你的粉丝只对一个部位的”长”镜头感兴趣 |
[22:06] | so come on. | 好了 来吧 |
[22:07] | Less yak and more jack. | 少废话 干正事 |
[22:09] | What about my demands? | 那我的要求呢 |
[22:12] | You mean these? | 你是说这个吗 |
[22:16] | Look… | 听着 |
[22:18] | Emmett… | 艾美特 |
[22:21] | If it weren’t for me, | 如果不是我 |
[22:23] | you’d still be moonlighting as a naked maid, | 你还在兼职做裸佣 |
[22:25] | “Buffing in the buff” trying to pick up a few extra bucks, okay? | 一丝不挂地赚外快呢 |
[22:28] | Yeah, and, uh, and if it weren’t for me, | 是没错 但如果不是我 |
[22:31] | you’d still be a pencil-pusher pulling your pud. | 你也不过是个在办公室手淫的小职员 |
[22:34] | Oh, so I owe all this to you? | 这么说这一切都是你的功劳吗 |
[22:37] | Difficult question. Let me think. | 这个问题好难回答 我想想 |
[22:39] | Yes! | 是的 |
[22:42] | I can replace you whenever I want. | 我可以随时换掉你 |
[22:44] | Then we’ll see how quickly your fans forget. | 然后我们瞧瞧你的粉丝多快就会忘掉你 |
[22:47] | – Really? – Really. | -是吗 -是的 |
[22:48] | Dicks like you… | 像你这样的鸡巴 |
[22:51] | dime a dozen. | 一抓一大把 |
[22:56] | Well, I tell you what. | 那我告诉你 |
[22:57] | You find some twinky with a dinky, | 你去找毛都没长齐的小年轻吧 |
[23:00] | and see how far you get. | 再看看你的网站能做得有多好 |
[23:02] | Oh, and when you do, | 对了 等你找到后 |
[23:04] | give him this. | 把这个给他 |
[23:06] | He’s going to need it. | 他会需要的 |
[23:15] | Last time I saw you cleaning the tchotchkes | 上一次看见你打扫这些小摆件 |
[23:16] | was when Michael moved away with David. | 是迈克搬出去和大卫住的时候 |
[23:20] | I’m just sick of seeing this place like a goddamned pigsty. | 我只是受够了这地方像个猪窝一样 |
[23:23] | That’s all. | 仅此而已 |
[23:28] | Would you stop windexing for half a second and talk to me? | 你能不能稍微停一下 和我聊聊 |
[23:33] | I can’t. | 我做不到 |
[23:35] | Why not? | 为什么不行 |
[23:39] | It’s personal. | 是私密原因 |
[23:43] | What could be personal after you’ve wiped my ass? | 你都替我擦过屁股了 还有什么私密的 |
[23:46] | You haven’t wiped mine. | 你又没有帮我擦过 |
[23:52] | – You’ve already cleaned that clown… – Leave me alone! | -你已经擦过那个小丑了… -别来烦我 |
[23:55] | Shit! Now look what you’ve done. | 见鬼 看你干的好事 |
[24:04] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
[24:06] | – Sis. Sis… – Get away. | -姐 姐.. -走开 |
[24:28] | This new guy… | 那个男人… |
[24:31] | that Michael’s dating, this, um… | 迈克的新男友 |
[24:34] | this Ben… | 本 |
[24:39] | He’s positive. | 他是HIV阳性患者 |
[24:44] | So? | 所以呢 |
[24:46] | So… | 所以… |
[24:50] | I don’t want him dating anyone who’s sick. | 我不希望他跟患病的人恋爱 |
[24:53] | Who said he’s sick? | 谁说他患病了 |
[24:58] | I knew I couldn’t talk to you about it. | 我就知道不能跟你谈这事 |
[25:01] | So negative people shouldn’t be allowed to date positive people, | 所以HIV阴性的人不能和HIV阳性的人交往 |
[25:04] | – is that it? – Don’t twist my words. | -是这样吗 -别曲解我的意思 |
[25:10] | Then what are you saying? | 那你是什么意思 |
[25:13] | He’s my son. | 他是我的儿子 |
[25:15] | I don’t want him gettin’ anything. | 我不希望他被感染 |
[25:24] | I never thought I’d say this… | 我从没想到有一天我会这么说 |
[25:28] | but for the first time in my life, | 这是我有生以来第一次 |
[25:30] | I wish my son wasn’t gay. | 希望我儿子不是同性恋 |
[25:32] | You don’t mean that. | 你不是真心这样想的 |
[25:35] | Not if it means I have to watch him puking, | 我不想看到他不断呕吐 |
[25:38] | and shitting and wasting away to nothing. | 腹泻 慢慢消瘦枯萎 直至死亡 |
[25:41] | I can’t listen to any more of this. | 我听不下去了 |
[25:44] | Do you think I want Michael to end up like you? | 你觉得我会任由迈克落得跟你一样的下场吗 |
[25:51] | Jeez. | 老天 |
[25:54] | Oh, shit! | 糟了 |
[25:55] | Michael. | 迈克 |
[26:01] | I’m just getting some stuff and then I’m out of here. | 我来拿点东西就走 |
[26:03] | Honey… | 亲爱的 |
[26:04] | Look, Michael, sweetheart… | 听着 迈克 宝贝 |
[26:05] | How could you talk that way to Uncle Vic? | 你怎么能对维克舅舅说那种话 |
[26:07] | You really hurt him. | 你真的伤到他了 |
[26:08] | People say a lot of things when they’re upset. | 人在难受时 说话总是很过分 |
[26:11] | And I’m upset. I’m very fucking upset. | 我现在很难受 我他妈快难受疯了 |
[26:15] | And, uh, and how long were you gonna wait | 还有 你本来打算什么时候 |
[26:17] | before you told me about Ben? | 才告诉我本的事 |
[26:20] | I didn’t think you’d care, | 我以为你不在乎 |
[26:22] | especially after all the noble sentiments and hash browns | 尤其是你之前在餐厅对患病群体 |
[26:24] | you were dishing out at the diner. | 表现出了那种宽容大度的态度 |
[26:28] | All right. | 好吧 |
[26:30] | I’m gonna make you very, very happy. | 我现在就让你称心如意 |
[26:34] | You always wanted a normal mother? | 你不是一直想要一个普通的母亲吗 |
[26:37] | Okay, you got one. | 好 我成全你 |
[26:40] | I don’t want you dating that guy. | 我不允许你跟他相恋 |
[26:42] | I don’t care what you want. | 我才不管你允不允许呢 |
[26:45] | And don’t tell me who to date. I’m 30 years old. | 别管我的恋爱对象是谁 我都30岁了 |
[26:47] | Who I date, and what I do, | 跟谁交往 做些什么 |
[26:50] | is none of your goddamn fucking business. | 都他妈跟你没有任何关系 |
[27:00] | We’re really lucky. | 我们真幸运 |
[27:03] | What? Living in this land of plenty? | 什么 生活在这个富饶的国家吗 |
[27:05] | Roll over. | 转过身去 |
[27:11] | Every time Michael and Ben have sex, | 每次迈克和本做爱 |
[27:13] | think of all that they have to deal with. | 想想看他们会多么小心谨慎 担惊受怕 |
[27:16] | It’s Michael’s decision. | 那是迈克自己的选择 |
[27:20] | Is that a pimple on your ass? | 你屁股上长了个小痘痘吗 |
[27:22] | – Where? – Right there. | -哪里 -就是这里 |
[27:24] | – Where? – Right there. | -哪里啊 -就这里啊 |
[27:25] | Shut up. | 闭嘴 |
[27:32] | No matter how long they’re together, | 无论他们在一起多久 |
[27:34] | even if it’s forever, | 就算是一辈子 |
[27:36] | they can never do it raw. | 他们都不能不戴套做爱 |
[27:39] | Neither have we. | 我们也不可以 |
[27:41] | But we could… | 但我们可以… |
[27:44] | if we wanted. | 只要我们想 |
[27:49] | I mean, we’re both negative. | 我是说 我们都没感染HIV |
[27:58] | You want me to fuck you bareback? | 你想让我不戴套操你吗 |
[28:01] | Yes. | 是的 |
[28:03] | Come inside your tight little ass? | 直接插进你紧致的小屁眼吗 |
[28:05] | Do it. | 来吧 |
[28:10] | Fuck me. | 操我 |
[28:14] | Fuck… yourself. | 操你个头 |
[28:18] | – What? – You stupid little twat. | -怎么了 -你这个小白痴 |
[28:23] | Never let anyone fuck you without a condom. | 永远不要让任何人不戴套就操你 |
[28:26] | You’re not just anyone. | 但你不是随便的任何人 |
[28:28] | Yeah, I’m sure that’s what Ben thought | 是啊 我想本当初也是这样看待 |
[28:29] | about the guy who infected him. | 那个传染他的家伙的 |
[28:38] | Put it on me. | 替我戴上 |
[29:11] | I want you safe. | 我希望你能安全 |
[29:15] | And I want you around for a long time. | 我希望你健健康康地活到老 |
[29:29] | Okay. The tea service is polished, | 好了 茶具都擦过了 |
[29:32] | the flowers are all arranged. | 花也都插好了 |
[29:34] | Those vegetarian roll-ups look scrumptious. | 蔬菜卷看上去很美味 |
[29:38] | How do I look? | 我看上去怎么样 |
[29:40] | Like a fucking nun. | 像个正经的修女 |
[29:41] | What happened to your tits? | 你的胸部是怎么回事 |
[29:46] | Who knew my year working in a piercing salon | 谁能想到我在穿孔沙龙学到的手艺 |
[29:48] | would come in so handy. | 居然还能派上用处 |
[29:50] | That’s Tasha and her harp. | 是弹竖琴的泰莎来了 |
[29:52] | Somebody get the door. | 谁去开下门 |
[29:57] | I was hoping you were the harp. | 我还以为是竖琴手呢 |
[30:00] | I’m into fucking not plucking. | 我只喜欢操人 不喜欢弹琴 |
[30:02] | What happened to your tits? | 你的胸是怎么了 |
[30:04] | Hey, sonny-boy, your old man’s here to rescue you. | 嘿 乖小子 你老爸来拯救你了 |
[30:07] | Hi, | 你好 |
[30:09] | I’m Leda. | 我是丽达 |
[30:12] | Ah, Melanie’s evil ex. | 茉蕾妮的魔鬼前任 |
[30:14] | And you must be the anti-christ. | 那你一定是反基督 |
[30:17] | Big fan. | 我很喜欢你 |
[30:19] | – Oh, don’t bother, it’s a virgin. – Brian. | -别麻烦了 是干净的 -布莱恩 |
[30:21] | The sitter’s coming for Gus this afternoon. | 保姆下午才能来照看盖斯 |
[30:24] | Take him to the park. | 你先带他去公园玩 |
[30:25] | Be careful on the swings. Don’t get him dirty. | 荡秋千时小心点 别把他弄得脏兮兮 |
[30:27] | Be back by 2:00. | 两点之前回来 |
[30:28] | And, wear something… nice. | 还有 穿得体面一点 |
[30:31] | – Anything else? – Shave. | -还有什么吩咐吗 -剃毛 |
[30:33] | My balls are as clean as a whistle. | 我的蛋蛋非常光洁 |
[30:37] | Tasha, finally. | 泰莎 你终于来了 |
[30:39] | Leda, can you show her where to put it? | 丽达 你能带她去放琴的地方吗 |
[30:43] | It’s too easy. | 这也太简单了吧 |
[30:44] | We’re trying to make Lindsay’s parents feel at home. | 我们想尽量让琳赛的父母感觉自在点 |
[30:47] | Well, you should have rented caskets. | 那你们应该租几口棺材 |
[30:48] | I say we greet ’em wearing strap-ons. | 我们不如穿着情色露点装欢迎他们 |
[30:51] | Ever been fucked by a dyke with a dildo? | 你被戴着假鸡巴的拉拉操过吗 |
[30:54] | Is that an offer? | 你在邀请我吗 |
[30:55] | This is really important to Lindsay, | 这个派对对琳赛很重要 |
[30:57] | so could both of you keep your fucking, foul mouths shut? | 所以你们两个能不能闭上臭嘴 |
[31:06] | They’re not coming. | 他们不来了 |
[31:11] | Are we surprised? | 难道很意外吗 |
[31:14] | Mom said daddy slipped a disc and… | 我妈说我爸腰椎间盘突出 |
[31:16] | he’ll be on his back for days. | 得在家躺上好几天 |
[31:17] | Well, that I’d like to see. | 我很高兴听到这消息 |
[31:19] | Shut up, Brian. | 闭嘴 布莱恩 |
[31:30] | It was like an episode of “The Twilight Zone”. | 真像《阴阳魔界》里的一幕 |
[31:32] | My favourite was the one | 我最喜欢的一集是 |
[31:33] | where you could trade in your old body for a hot, new one. | 你可以把自己的旧身体换成新的 |
[31:37] | She actually said she wished I wasn’t gay. | 她居然说她希望我不是同性恋 |
[31:41] | Well, I’ll always be glad you’re a big, fat queer. | 我永远很高兴你是个大基佬 |
[31:49] | You two make a beautiful couple. | 你们真是有爱的一对 |
[31:52] | Hey, there. | 你好啊 |
[31:54] | Aren’t you sweet? | 你真可爱 |
[31:56] | Hi, sweetie. | 嗨 小宝贝 |
[31:58] | And your baby looks just like you. | 你的孩子长得跟你很像 |
[32:06] | So sweet. | 真美好 |
[32:09] | You know, she’s right. | 其实 她说得对 |
[32:11] | What are you talking about? | 你在胡说什么呢 |
[32:12] | The baby’s the spitting image of you. | 这孩子简直就是你的翻版 |
[32:13] | I mean Debbie. | 我是说黛比 |
[32:17] | You should forget Ben. | 你确实应该忘了本 |
[32:20] | – What the fuck do you know? – Well, let’s see. | -你他妈知道什么 -算算看 |
[32:22] | I know advertising, | 我了解广告 |
[32:25] | and I know you. | 也了解你 |
[32:27] | Those ads you see for the cocktails | 那些推广鸡尾酒疗法的广告 |
[32:28] | with the great-looking guys | 请的都是英俊帅气的男人 |
[32:30] | skiing and mountain-climbing, | 快乐地滑雪或爬山 |
[32:32] | like all you have to do is pop a little protease inhibitor, | 好像你只需要注射一点蛋白酶抑制剂 |
[32:34] | and you too can have the time of your life. | 就也可以享受美好的人生 |
[32:39] | Well, it’s just… | 只不过… |
[32:40] | kind of tough downhill racing when you’ve got non-stop diarrhea. | 一旦你开始腹泻不止 生活就会变得黑暗无比 |
[32:44] | I can handle it. | 我能处理好 |
[32:46] | Then handle it. | 那就好好处理 |
[32:49] | Kiss it. Jerk it off. Just… | 亲吻和手淫都没问题 但是 |
[32:53] | don’t fall in love with it. | 别真的动心 |
[32:58] | – Mrs. Petersen? – Melanie. | -彼得森太太 -茉蕾妮 |
[33:00] | What a surprise. | 真够意外的 |
[33:08] | Unfortunately, I’m just on my way out. | 很不凑巧 我正要出门 |
[33:10] | George, Barbara, is that you? | 乔治 芭芭拉 是你们来了吗 |
[33:13] | Mr. Petersen. | 彼得森先生 |
[33:16] | I was expecting… | 我还以为… |
[33:17] | Someone else? | 是其他人对吧 |
[33:20] | Congratulations on your speedy recovery. | 恭喜你恢复得如此迅速 |
[33:22] | Well, you know how it is with these back things. | 你知道腰伤这东西 |
[33:25] | One minute you can’t stand up. The next minute… | 前一分钟还没法站直 过一会儿… |
[33:27] | Playing mixed doubles. | 就能玩男女混合双打了 |
[33:31] | This is very awkward. | 这真的非常尴尬 |
[33:33] | Awkward? | 尴尬 |
[33:35] | That you couldn’t come over to our house for a couple of hours? | 你们连来我们家几小时都不行吗 |
[33:38] | Lindsay’s been working her ass off for you. | 琳赛为了你们忙得团团转 |
[33:41] | Would it be so fucking hard to show up? | 你们露个面 就他妈那么难吗 |
[33:42] | – Language. – Language. | -别说脏话 -别说脏话 |
[33:46] | Your excuses are bullshit. | 你们的借口太烂了 |
[33:48] | All she wants from you is to show her a little support. | 她想要的不过是 你们的一点支持 |
[33:52] | The only reason you want us to come to your party | 你们请我们出席派对的唯一原因 |
[33:54] | is so that we’ll write you a cheque. | 不就是希望我们给你们钱吗 |
[33:56] | Nancy, please. | 南希 别这样 |
[33:57] | Why not admit it? | 为什么不直接承认呢 |
[33:59] | Look, I know what you think about me. | 听着 我知道你们怎么看我的 |
[34:02] | I’m the slick Jew lawyer | 我就是个狡猾的犹太律师 |
[34:04] | come to shake you down for a few shekels. | 想方设法地从你们这里搞钱 |
[34:07] | The dyke who corrupted your daughter. | 将你们的女儿带入堕落世界的拉拉 |
[34:10] | Well, you’re wrong. | 你们错了 |
[34:11] | I’m Lindsay’s loving partner, | 我是琳赛的爱侣 |
[34:14] | and Gus’ adoring mother. | 也是盖斯的母亲 |
[34:16] | And I know | 并且我知道 |
[34:18] | that I will never cause him the pain that you’ve caused her. | 我永远不会像你们伤害她这样伤害盖斯 |
[34:21] | He’ll never have to wonder whether or not I love him. | 盖斯永远也不用怀疑我是否爱他 |
[34:58] | Are we gonna talk? | 我们谈谈好吗 |
[35:00] | Or are we just gonna rake the whole goddamn neighbourhood? | 还是我们就光清扫不说话 |
[35:05] | If you want to talk, talk. | 你想谈 那就谈吧 |
[35:09] | You know I didn’t mean what I said… | 你知道我不是那个意思 |
[35:12] | Well, for it to come out the way it did. | 那话听起来有些别扭 但并非我本意 |
[35:18] | I’ve just had it with this fucking disease. | 我真是受够了那个该死的病 |
[35:21] | Tell me about it. | 那还用你说 |
[35:25] | I know, baby. | 我懂的 亲爱的 |
[35:32] | I just can’t go through it again. | 我无法再经历一次那样的事情 |
[35:37] | What makes you think you’ll have to? | 什么让你认为你会再经历一次 |
[35:39] | – Michael doesn’t have HIV. – Ben does. | -迈克又没被感染HIV -本感染上了啊 |
[35:43] | And there’s nothing in his life that’s not gonna be affected by it, | 这会波及他生活中的方方面面 |
[35:45] | including Michael. | 包括迈克 |
[35:48] | And what affects Michael, affects me. | 一旦牵涉到迈克 就是牵涉到我 |
[35:52] | It’s like what they say about marriage; | 这就像人们常说的关于婚姻的一句话 |
[35:55] | You don’t just get them. You get the whole damn family. | 你不是嫁给一个人 而是嫁给整个家庭 |
[35:58] | Yeah, well I’m not so crazy about the in-laws. | 是啊 我反正也不怎么喜欢亲家 |
[36:12] | I mean, even if they have safe sex… | 就算他们采取安全措施 |
[36:16] | what if something happens? | 有个万一怎么办 |
[36:19] | What if Michael comes to us, and he says, “I’ve got it”? | 要是迈克跑来跟我说”我被感染了” |
[36:26] | What do we do? | 到时候怎么办 |
[36:31] | First we’d die. | 首先我们会心如死灰 |
[36:37] | And then we’d deal with it. | 然后我们努力去面对 |
[37:01] | This party sucks. | 这个派对糟透了 |
[37:04] | I prefer to think of it as mellow. | 我倒觉得它非常有韵味 |
[37:08] | I’m going to go upstairs and swallow a bottle of xanax. | 我还是上楼去吞安眠药自杀吧 |
[37:11] | Good idea. | 好主意 |
[37:15] | Fucking flowers are making my allergies go berserk. | 这些该死的花害我过敏得厉害 |
[37:18] | Well, gee, that’s a good reason to leave. | 天呐 这借口不错 我们走吧 |
[37:21] | And leave me alone with the ladies who munch? No way! | 丢下我一个人面对这帮大吃特吃的女人吗 没门 |
[37:27] | In that case, I guess there’s only one thing we can do. | 这样的话 大概只能干一件事了 |
[37:37] | You know, I can honestly say there is, uh, | 我实话实说 |
[37:39] | there’s not one thing here I’d put in my mouth. | 这儿没有一样是我愿意放进嘴里的 |
[37:42] | That’s a first. | 这倒是头一回[口交] |
[37:45] | Excuse me? | 你说什么 |
[37:47] | This food’s the worst. | 这里的食物糟透了 |
[37:53] | Oh, did I… did I tell you, Michael, | 我告诉你了吗 迈克 |
[37:55] | that I received a, uh… | 我收到了… |
[37:57] | a very… very lucrative offer from Cocks’r’us.net? | 「大鸡巴狂」网站发来的 待遇非常诱人的工作邀约 |
[38:02] | Why no, Emmett, you didn’t. | 没有 艾美特 你没告诉我 |
[38:06] | Did I tell you, Michael, about my new star? | 我有跟你说过我的新星吗 迈克 |
[38:08] | Dick Long. | 迪克·朗[长鸡巴] |
[38:10] | Not only lives up to, but surpasses his name. | 他的鸡巴甚至超过这个艺名所描绘的长度 |
[38:13] | You don’t say. | 你没跟我说 |
[38:15] | You can tell, uh, Mr. Schmidt, | 麻烦转告施密特先生 |
[38:16] | if you happen to see his wizened countenance, | 如果你碰巧看见了他那张干瘪的脸 |
[38:19] | that he still owes me my last paltry pay cheque. | 他还欠我最后一次表演的小额费用 |
[38:22] | And, uh, you can tell Mr. Honeycutt, | 麻烦转告哈尼卡特先生 |
[38:24] | whose ass has more tread marks than a steel-belted radial, | 那个屁股上的纹路比轮胎纹路还多的人 |
[38:29] | if he doesn’t come by and pick up his personal effects, | 要是他再不来拿走他的私人物品 |
[38:32] | his dildoes will be donated to charity. | 他的假鸡巴就要被捐给慈善机构了 |
[38:34] | Why don’t you tell each other yourselves? | 你们何不直接告诉对方 |
[38:35] | And while you’re at it, why don’t you both apologize | 既然都聊上了 何不相互道个歉 |
[38:37] | for acting like a couple of idiots? | 因为你们表现得都像白痴 |
[38:38] | I’m the one who created him. | 是我让他一炮而红 |
[38:40] | He would be out of business if it weren’t for me. | 要不是我 他早就关门大吉了 |
[38:42] | You could show a little gratitude. | 你至少该对我有点感恩之心 |
[38:43] | And you could show a little generosity. | 你至少也该对我大方点 |
[38:44] | And you both could show a little maturity. | 你们能别这么幼稚吗 |
[38:47] | It’s none of your goddamned business. | 关你他妈的屁事 |
[38:48] | – Who the fuck asked your opinion anyway? – Just butt out. | -谁他妈问你了 -少管闲事 |
[39:26] | Enjoying the view? | 在看风景吗 |
[39:28] | Go away. | 走开 |
[39:30] | Make me. | 有本事赶走我啊 |
[39:33] | Your party really sucks. | 你办的派对真烂 |
[39:35] | That’s already been well established, if you’ve been paying attention. | 如果你用心观察 会发现我们已经办得不错了 |
[39:44] | You really… give a shit what they think? | 你真的 很在意他们的想法吗 |
[39:48] | They’re my parents, Brian. | 他们是我父母 布莱恩 |
[39:59] | I know I shouldn’t care. | 我知道我不该在意 |
[40:01] | I shouldn’t let it hurt me. | 不该让这个伤了我的心 |
[40:05] | It’s not my job to please them… | 我没有义务取悦他们 |
[40:10] | to make them happy. | 让他们高兴 |
[40:15] | You remember… | 你还记不记得 |
[40:17] | what’s his name, um… | 那家伙叫什么来着 |
[40:20] | Billy the asshole’s birthday party in junior year? | 「混蛋比利」大三时的生日派对吗 |
[40:25] | When Rebecca Tucci dumped me? | 丽贝卡·杜奇甩了我的那天吗 |
[40:28] | Those were the days. | 那些旧时光啊 |
[40:31] | Jeez, is this supposed to cheer me up? | 老天 你就是这么给我打气的吗 |
[40:34] | I was a wreck. | 我当时一团糟 |
[40:36] | Not for long. | 但没有消沉太久 |
[40:39] | Oh, thanks to you putting “E” in the punch, | 多亏你在潘趣酒里放了点摇头丸 |
[40:41] | some… loose women and… | 那些 放荡不羁的女人 |
[40:43] | The B-52s. | 和B-52乐队的歌 |
[40:45] | Well, those who don’t learn their lessons, | 那些不吸取教训的人 |
[40:48] | are condemned to repeat their courses. | 注定会重蹈覆辙 |
[41:13] | Come and dance with me, baby. | 过来一起跳舞 宝贝 |
[41:15] | Check the server? | 检查一下服务器 |
[41:16] | Double check the connection… | 再次确认一下连接 |
[41:30] | How do you like it? | 你觉得怎么样 |
[41:34] | Does that offer still stand? | 那个提议还有效吗 |
[41:53] | Mom! | 妈 |
[41:55] | Daddy! | 爸 |
[41:59] | You call this brunch? | 你管这也叫早午餐吗 |
[42:01] | Hey, how about some punch? | 你们好 要喝潘趣酒吗 |
[42:03] | No, no. | 不 不要 |
[42:06] | I thought you weren’t coming. | 我以为你们不来了 |
[42:09] | We changed our minds. | 我们改变主意了 |
[42:11] | And from the look of things, | 但现在看来 |
[42:12] | we shouldn’t have. | 我们不应该改变主意的 |
[42:15] | We’re just having some fun. | 我们只是在玩乐 |
[42:19] | You call this fun? | 你管这个叫”玩乐” |
[42:21] | Well, it may not be your idea of fun, but… | 也许不是你理解的玩乐 但是… |
[42:23] | Yes. | 没错 |
[42:28] | Everyone, I’d like you to meet my parents… | 大家都过来见一下我的父母 |
[42:31] | the guests of honour. | 特邀嘉宾 |
[42:33] | You needn’t introduce us. | 你用不着介绍我们 |
[42:35] | We’re not staying. | 我们打算走了 |
[42:38] | Come on, Ron. | 走了 罗恩 |
[42:40] | You know, the whole point of this party | 这个派对的意义 |
[42:41] | was to prove that we’re just like you, | 就是为了证明我们跟你们是一样的 |
[42:44] | so that you’d accept us, | 这样你们才会接受我们 |
[42:46] | the way that I’ve tried to accept you. | 就像我努力接受你们一样 |
[42:48] | I didn’t realize that I needed to be accepted. | 我没有意识到我也需要被接受 |
[42:52] | You’re right, mom, you don’t. | 你说得对 妈 你是不需要 |
[42:55] | Neither do we. | 我们也不需要 |
[43:35] | Come for my personal effects. | 我来拿我的私人物品 |
[43:42] | I have your cheque. | 你的支票开好了 |
[43:50] | I’ll be as quick as I can. | 我会尽快收拾完 |
[43:52] | Emmett, I… | 艾美特 我… |
[43:53] | Please, let’s just, uh… | 拜托了 我们还是… |
[43:54] | Let’s not say anything more. We’ve… | 我们还是什么也别说了 我们… |
[43:57] | both made our positions painfully clear. | 已经清楚地表明各自的立场了 |
[44:17] | I, uh… | 我… |
[44:24] | Your fans are going to miss you. | 你的粉丝们会想念你的 |
[44:27] | Well, I’m sure Dick Long will help them forget. | 我相信长鸡巴会帮助他们忘记我的 |
[44:32] | Ah, well, actually he’s… | 其实 他只是 |
[44:36] | only a Dick Medium. | 中鸡巴 |
[44:41] | You’re by far my biggest attraction. | 你目前才是我这里最”大”的诱惑 |
[44:46] | And I… I suppose I do… | 我想我的确… |
[44:48] | owe my fame… such as it is… | 名副其实 |
[44:52] | And my fortune, | 我的所得 |
[44:53] | such as it isn’t… to you. | 相比于你 却少得可怜 |
[45:03] | Five per cent. | 5%的提成 |
[45:05] | That’s a very, uh, generous offer… | 这个提议 实在很大方 |
[45:08] | Teddy, but, um… | 但是 泰迪 |
[45:10] | It’s not just about the money. | 但重要的不仅仅是金钱 |
[45:11] | I mean, for me, i-it’s always been about the art. | 对我来说 艺术本身也很重要 |
[45:25] | The finest lubricant… water soluble… | 最好的润滑剂 水溶性的 |
[45:30] | Heated to 98.6 degrees. | 加热至人体温度 |
[45:35] | I… I appreciate the gesture, but… | 我很感激你的好意 但是… |
[45:59] | I’m so sorry I underestimated you. | 我很抱歉我低估了你的价值 |
[46:04] | You’re more than just an enormous dick. | 你不仅仅拥有巨大的鸡巴 |
[46:10] | You’re my friend. | 你还是我的朋友 |
[46:14] | And you are mine. | 你也是我的朋友 |
[46:27] | So, what do you say? | 你意下如何 |
[46:30] | I’m ready for my close-up, | 我已经准备好我的特写镜头 |
[46:31] | Mr. Schmidt. | 施密特先生 |
[46:52] | Condoms? | 安全套在哪儿 |
[46:57] | Bathroom. | 浴室 |
[47:00] | – I’ll get them. – Okay. | -我去拿 -好 |
[47:42] | Find them? | 找到没 |
[47:43] | Found them. | 找到了 |
[48:05] | I can’t do this. | 我不行 |
[48:07] | Here. Let me try. | 给我 让我来 |
[48:11] | No, I mean I can’t… | 不 我是说我接受不了 |
[48:18] | I thought I could… | 我以为我可以 |
[48:21] | that I could handle it, but… | 可以接受 但… |
[48:23] | I guess I was just fooling myself. | 我想我只是在自欺欺人 |
[48:27] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
[48:32] | Don’t apologize. | 不用道歉 |
[48:37] | It’s, uh, better we find out now… | 现在就想明白这点更好 |
[48:40] | before… before someone gets hurt. | 以免以后 有人会受到伤害 |