时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:05] | Hey! | 喂 |
[00:07] | Hey, you there! | 喂 那谁 |
[00:09] | Hey, hey! | 叫你呢 喂 |
[00:11] | Hey, person who just cut me off and almost killed me! | 竟然切我的线 差点被你害死 |
[00:14] | Hey, don’t text and drive. | 你娘没教你开车时不能发短信吗 |
[00:17] | Don’t you watch Oprah? | 奥普拉的节目总看吧 |
[00:19] | I mean, when she was on regular TV | 她在大众台时我天天看 |
[00:21] | before she went to channel 575, which we don’t even get. | 换去575频道后我们家就收不到了 |
[00:24] | Hey! | 喂 |
[00:25] | Hey, wait! | 混蛋 停车 |
[00:26] | Hey! Oh! | 可恶 |
[00:29] | You are so busted. | 太过分了 |
[00:31] | 555-0199 555-0199 555-0199. 555-0199. | |
[00:35] | 555-0199 555-0199. | |
[00:37] | 555-0199 555-0199. | |
[00:38] | – 555… – Shh! | -555 -嘘 |
[00:40] | What’s with all the noise?! | 吵死了 |
[00:41] | It wasn’t me; it was Mom. | 不是我 是老妈 |
[00:43] | I was making a fluffernutter sandwich. | 我正忙着抹三明治呢 |
[00:45] | 555-0199 555-0199. | |
[00:47] | It’s the quietest of all sandwiches. | 这是全球最安静的三明治 |
[00:48] | I was going to make a ham sandwich, | 我本想做份火腿三明治 |
[00:50] | but I was afraid the mustard bottle might fart. | 但怕芥末酱罐头打开时会有放屁声 |
[00:52] | 555-0199 555-0199. | |
[00:54] | Oh, you made me mix up my 941 with my 1040 EZ. | 你害我把1040EZ跟941搞混了 |
[00:57] | Oh, where’s my 702? | 702怎么不见了 |
[00:58] | 1040 EZ, 702… Oh, damn! | 1040EZ 702 该死 |
[01:02] | Shh! | 嘘 |
[01:04] | Why didn’t you tell me he started his corporate taxes? | 怎么不早跟我说他在算公司税 |
[01:07] | Oh, my God! | 天哪 |
[01:09] | This can’t be happening! | 怎么办 |
[01:10] | My gas receipts! | 我的汽油发票呢 |
[01:12] | I can’t do my taxes | 少了七月的汽油发票 |
[01:14] | without my June gas receipts! | 让我怎么算下去 |
[01:25] | Why are you standing in my May-June-July? | 你干嘛站在我的五六七月税单上 |
[01:27] | Why are you living in my house? | 你又干嘛住在我的房子里 |
[01:44] | Wyatt! | 怀特 |
[01:44] | You’re in town. | 你回来啦 |
[01:45] | Oh, goody. | 太好了 |
[01:46] | Yo, J-man, tell Sabrina she’s about to make | 吉仔 来见证一下塞布丽娜这辈子 |
[01:48] | the biggest mistake of her life. | 犯下的最大错误 |
[01:49] | Still trying to organize “Occupy Natesville”? | 她又想占领那什维尔了吗 |
[01:51] | No. Wyatt is gonna do an internship | 不是 是怀特想去非洲工作一年 |
[01:54] | in Africa for a year and he’s trying to get me to go with him. | 还指望我陪他一起去 |
[01:57] | To Africa? | 去非洲 |
[01:58] | Are you sure that’s a good idea? | 你考虑清楚了吗 |
[02:00] | With all the sand, bugs, and all that “Gentle” Mutilation? | 漫天的沙尘 臭虫 还有遍野的横尸 |
[02:02] | I mean, it’s “Gentle,” But still, can’t be pleasant. | 虽然不算重口味 但总看着不舒服 |
[02:04] | Oh, I’m not going. | 我才不去 |
[02:05] | So, you’re staying, | 就是说你要留下 |
[02:07] | and you’re going. | 你一个人去 |
[02:08] | You’re gonna love Africa. | 你一定会爱上非洲大陆的 |
[02:09] | I mean, I’ve only seen it in cartoons, | 我是说我只在动画片里看过 |
[02:11] | but it looks hilarious. | 很欢乐的感觉 |
[02:13] | We’ll talk about this later. | 晚点再说 |
[02:14] | You’re definitely going to come | 想想我穿着一身花衬衫的飒爽英姿 |
[02:15] | once you see how good I look in a dashiki. | 你一定会同意去的 |
[02:18] | Hakuna matata! | 哈库那马塔塔 |
[02:20] | Let me know if you need a ride to the airport! | 有需要送机的话叫我 |
[02:23] | James, we need to talk. | 詹姆士 过来下 |
[02:24] | Your family’s been here all day | 你家人一整天都待在这儿 |
[02:25] | and they’re starting to push the store’s loitering policy. | 违反了咱店的滞留条例 |
[02:29] | Quit cheating! | 耍赖皮 |
[02:30] | It’s pattycake, Maw Maw. | 游戏而已啦 奶奶 |
[02:32] | You can’t cheat at pattycake. | 别太当真 |
[02:33] | She sure as hell is! | 这小鬼可精了 |
[02:35] | Using only one hand, saving up your patties… | 备好你的那只手 藏好你的小馅饼 |
[02:37] | You’re making a very powerful enemy. | 别小看你的对手 |
[02:41] | Sorry, it’s corporate tax time. | 抱歉 我爸最近在搞营业税 |
[02:43] | Dad’s no good under pressure, so it’s hard being home with him. | 他性情骤变 难以相处 |
[02:45] | Maybe I can show Burt some tricks I’ve learned. | 或许我能传授伯特几招 |
[02:48] | If I can do Frank’s taxes, I can do anyone’s. | 我都帮弗兰克理顺了 没人难得倒我 |
[02:50] | He doesn’t believe in the number eight, | 他不信数字8会带来好运 |
[02:51] | and he claims a scorpion as a dependent. | 还坚称天蝎座依赖性很强 |
[02:53] | Well, he won’t listen to anyone when it comes to numbers. | 我爸一扯到数字谁都不信 |
[02:55] | Not even that vampire puppet on TV who likes to count. | 连电视上那个很会算术的吸血鬼木偶都一样 |
[02:58] | I can’t remember his name. | 它叫什么来着 |
[03:00] | Hey, uh, Mom! Hope’s got a little toilet paper on her shoe. | 妈妈 喜旺脚下沾了张厕纸 |
[03:04] | Oh, my God, that’s not toilet paper! | 天哪 那不是厕纸 |
[03:08] | July 15th gas receipt?! | 七一五的汽油发票 |
[03:09] | Where is it?! Where is it?! | 去哪儿了 到底去哪儿了 |
[03:11] | July 15th! | 七一五 |
[03:13] | Relax. I got it. | 放轻松 我找到了 |
[03:14] | It was stuck to the bottom of Hope’s shoe. | 就粘在喜旺的鞋底 |
[03:16] | The bottom of your shoe? | 你的鞋底 |
[03:17] | You kidding me? | 没搞错吧 |
[03:18] | – Burt… – For someone who watches | -伯特 -神童我看多了 |
[03:19] | a lot of Baby Einstein, you’re sure no baby Einstein. | 你肯定不是 |
[03:21] | Okay, that’s it. | 够了 |
[03:24] | Isn’t he a funny grandpa? | 他真是个可爱的爷爷 |
[03:25] | He sure makes some funny faces, huh? | 老摆出可爱的表情 |
[03:26] | Okay, why don’t you and Maw Maw go out on the porch, | 跟曾曾奶奶去走廊上逛逛 |
[03:29] | and wait for me while I talk to Grandpa, | 奶奶有话跟爷爷说 |
[03:31] | and I’ll come out and bring you some treats. | 一会儿给你带好吃的来 |
[03:34] | What the hell is your problem? | 你脑子进水啦 |
[03:36] | I don’t think you know how serious this is. | 看来你还没看出事态的严重性 |
[03:38] | Do you want the International Revenue System | 你就不怕被 |
[03:39] | all up in our business? | 税法制裁吗 |
[03:41] | You saw what they did to Wesley Snipes. | 韦斯利·施耐普的悲剧历历在目 |
[03:42] | Ever see him with his shirt off? | 见过他袒胸露背的样子吗 |
[03:44] | He can kick all their asses and they still threw him in prison. | 打遍天下无敌手的汉子就这么锒铛入狱了 |
[03:46] | You need to learn how to handle the stress. | 你得试着舒缓压力 |
[03:48] | Oh, that’s easy for you to say. | 看人挑担不吃力 |
[03:49] | You’ve never had my kind of stress. | 就算站着说话不腰疼 |
[03:51] | And could you please not stand on April?! | 但也拜托别站在四月上 |
[03:52] | This is Maw Maw’s house. | 我站的是奶奶的房子 |
[03:54] | You don’t get to tell people what to do. | 别老指手画脚的 |
[03:57] | Can’t we come in? | 我们能进来了吗 |
[03:58] | No, Maw Maw. | 不行 奶奶 |
[03:59] | You can come in when I tell you to come in. | 我叫你了 你再进来 |
[04:02] | What do you mean “Your kind of stress”? | 你到底有什么压力 |
[04:04] | Business-owner stress. | 老板们才有的压力 |
[04:06] | You-You’re just an employee. | 你们打工的不懂 |
[04:07] | Excuse me, I’m “Just an employee”? | 你说什么 我是个打工的 |
[04:09] | That’s right. When you go to work, | 没错 你每次开工 |
[04:11] | it’s all moppy moppy, wipey wipey. | 只需要到处扫扫拖拖 |
[04:13] | You never even have to use your brain! | 完全不用动脑子 |
[04:14] | Oh, yeah, and what kind of graduation degree | 好吧 那请问你的砍砍割割 |
[04:17] | do you need for mow-y mow-y, cutty cutty? | 要啥文凭才干得了 |
[04:19] | I have to make real boss decisions. | 我需要做决策 |
[04:21] | How much to pay people, | 发多少工钱 |
[04:22] | how much to charge people, | 收多少费用 |
[04:23] | trying to remember which months have five Fridays… | 算计哪些月份有五个礼拜五 |
[04:25] | Well, at least you’re in control of your own future. | 至少你的未来在你手里 |
[04:28] | I’d give my left nad to be the boss. | 我要是能当老板 少个蛋蛋我都愿意 |
[04:30] | That’s exactly what someone who’s never been the boss | 这话也就没当过家做过主的人 |
[04:31] | or actually had nads would say. | 才说的出口 |
[04:36] | No comeback, huh? | 无言以对了吧 |
[04:38] | That’s what I thought! | 我就是这么想的 |
[04:50] | This mess should be easy for you to clean up, | 既然大扫除不需要动脑子 |
[04:52] | since cleaning things up doesn’t require a brain. | 那你自己轻轻松松搞定吧 |
[04:58] | That’s what I thought! | 我就是这么想的 |
[05:09] | Go away! | 走开 |
[05:10] | Can’t you see the sign? | 没看见牌子上的字吗 |
[05:13] | Look, I’ve been there, buddy. | 听着 我懂的 伙计 |
[05:16] | I was the treasurer of the accounting club in high school, | 我高中当过会计俱乐部的会计师 |
[05:18] | which, in the accounting club, | 这职位可比 |
[05:19] | is a higher office than the president. | 办公室主还牛逼 |
[05:21] | Let me in, Burt. | 让我进来 伯特 |
[05:22] | We can get through this together. | 我们可以一起想办法 |
[05:23] | Just open the door. | 开开门 |
[05:25] | Okay… | 好吧 |
[05:28] | Wait. | 等等 |
[05:29] | Who are you? | 你是谁 |
[05:30] | It’s Barney from Howdy’s. | 我是毫迪超市的巴尼 |
[05:33] | I don’t know any Barney. | 我不认识谁叫巴尼 |
[05:34] | Burt, we’ve spent the last two Thanksgivings together. | 伯特 我们前两年感恩节可都是一起过的 |
[05:37] | I’m your son’s boss. | 我是你儿子的老板 |
[05:39] | All this time I thought it was “Arnie.” | 我一直以为你叫阿尼 |
[05:42] | You look like an Arnie. | 明明长了一张叫阿尼的脸 |
[05:48] | I feel like I missed my calling. | 我觉得我错失了好时机 |
[05:50] | I mean, I’m bossy by nature. | 我是个天生当老板的料 |
[05:52] | I’m a boss in employee’s clothing. | 是个披着小二外衣的掌柜 |
[05:54] | I just want to know that if I tried, I could have done it. | 要是我努力过 一定能小有成就 |
[05:58] | Don’t be so down on yourself. | 别太小看自己 |
[05:59] | When you come home after a hard day’s work, | 当你忙碌了一整天 |
[06:02] | and your head hits the pillow, | 高贵的头颅一沾上枕头 |
[06:03] | you can rest assured | 请放心 |
[06:05] | that you have taught 35 young Americans civics– | 你教会了35名年轻的美国公民 |
[06:09] | the foundation of democracy. | 什么是民主 |
[06:10] | Maw Maw, I’m a maid. | 奶奶 我只是个钟点工 |
[06:13] | Oh, yeah. | 对哦 |
[06:15] | Well, then you’re wasting your life. | 简直是慢性自杀 |
[06:16] | Doesn’t have to be a Fortunate 500 company or anything. | 我也没想要做成500强什么的 |
[06:19] | Any dinky thing will do. | 小有成就也好 |
[06:21] | Look at this guy, he’s his own boss. | 看看他 不就是自己的老板吗 |
[06:24] | Stained yellow apron, | 穿着乌糟糟的黄围裙 |
[06:25] | cutoff jean shorts, making a living selling | 和破旧的牛仔短裤 |
[06:28] | ground-up pig parts shoved into a bun. | 靠把热狗夹进面包里为生 |
[06:31] | You, sir, truly represent the American Dream. | 亲 你是美国梦最好的代言人 |
[06:43] | You should do it. | 你可以的 |
[06:44] | You should start your own business. | 闯出自己的一片天空吧 |
[06:46] | I might do it. | 或许吧 |
[06:47] | I just have no idea what that business would be. | 只是没想好做什么 |
[06:49] | How about starting a business | 要不这样 |
[06:50] | where you bore us all to death talking about this crap? | 你可以开家靠说废话就能闷死人的公司吧 |
[06:53] | You’d make millions. | 保准发大财 |
[06:56] | All your receipts are alphabetized from “A” To “Z.” | 你的发票都按字母顺序标好号了 |
[06:59] | So, if you’re ever audited, all you have to do | 你以前被审计过的话 现在只需要 |
[07:01] | is open this and hand it to the auditor. | 打开这些 然后交给审计师 |
[07:04] | Okay, try again. | 好 再试试 |
[07:06] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[07:07] | First it goes over. | 先绕过… |
[07:09] | No… | 不对 |
[07:10] | First it goes under… | 先走下面 |
[07:13] | I guess… Stay calm! | 那啥 别着急 |
[07:14] | Remember, figure eight. | 记住 八字形 |
[07:15] | I’m not an accordion-file guy. | 我不会整理文件啊 |
[07:16] | I’m not any kind of file guy. | 我看到文件就无力 |
[07:18] | I’m just a landscaper. | 我只是个庭院设计师 |
[07:20] | I wish I could run a business | 我想经营一种 |
[07:21] | without having to run a business. | 不用我自己经营的生意 |
[07:23] | Well, you could hire a business manager. | 那你可以雇一个业务经理啊 |
[07:24] | Okay, how about you? | 好主意 你怎么样 |
[07:25] | – No, I couldn’t. – Why not? | -我可不行 -为啥不行 |
[07:26] | It’d be perfect; then I could do the part of the job I like. | 超完美的 这样我就能做我自己想做的部分 |
[07:29] | You could do the parts I don’t like. | 而你则负责我不喜欢的部分 |
[07:31] | Well, it would free you up to take more clients. | 这样你就有时间多接几个客户了 |
[07:34] | You’d make the same amount of money, | 你还是照样赚钱 |
[07:35] | and I’d have a little extra cash for taking out the ladies | 而我则能赚点把马子的外快 |
[07:38] | and one more business card to put in the free lunch fishbowl | 而且还能在印度餐厅的免费午餐盒里 |
[07:40] | at the Indian buffet. | 多放一张名片了 |
[07:41] | I’ll do it. | 我干了 |
[07:42] | Good! You’re the boss. | 好样的 你是老板了 |
[07:43] | Oh, no, no, no, no. You’re still the boss. | 不不不 老板还是你 |
[07:45] | I’m just doing the parts of the job you don’t lik | 我只负责你不喜欢的部分 |
[07:47] | Yeah, that’s the part I don’t like, being the boss. | 没错 当老板就是我不喜欢的部分 |
[07:50] | As owner of this company, | 作为公司的所有者 |
[07:51] | I order you to tell me what to do. | 我命令你来指挥我 |
[07:53] | Oh, no, I’m not quite sure I know how this would work. | 不是吧 我有点懵了 |
[07:56] | Well, figure it out. | 那去弄明白呗 |
[07:57] | You’re the boss. | 反正你是老板了 |
[08:02] | Hey, why don’t you start | 对啊 不如开一家 |
[08:03] | your own cleaning business? You’re good at it. | 清洁公司吧 这是你的强项啊 |
[08:05] | How do you know I’m good at it? | 你咋知道是我的强项 |
[08:07] | I just assume. You know, it’s cleaning. | 我猜的 清洁嘛 |
[08:09] | How hard could it really be? | 能有多难 |
[08:11] | Or what about a cafe where you make | 或者开家咖啡馆 |
[08:12] | your funny pancakes and stuff? | 你可以做点可爱的煎饼什么的 |
[08:13] | Ooh, you could call it Funny Cakes. | 店名就可以叫可爱小煎饼 |
[08:15] | That’s the stupidest idea ever, Jimmy. | 这简直是史上最蠢的点子了 吉米 |
[08:17] | If I’ve had a cruddy week, | 要是我度过了紧张的一周 |
[08:18] | making funny pancakes is what cheers me up. | 那么做可爱煎饼可以让我放松身心 |
[08:21] | But if making funny pancakes is my week, | 可我要是靠做煎饼过完每一周 |
[08:23] | what am I going to do to cheer me up? Scrub toilets? | 我还咋放松身心 洗厕所么 |
[08:25] | What about a business where you snap at people | 那你就开始一种 |
[08:27] | who are just trying to be helpful? | 专门打击想帮你的人的生意吧 |
[08:28] | I’m sorry. | 对不起嘛 |
[08:29] | I just don’t want to end up an old lady | 我只是不希望老的时候 |
[08:31] | who’s never accomplished anything, | 发现自己一事无成 |
[08:33] | who’s never made any decent money, | 甚至没体面地赚到过一毛钱 |
[08:35] | just waiting out her time until she dies. | 只能干坐着等死 |
[08:39] | No offense. | 没说您 |
[08:40] | I’ve made peace with who I am. | 我活着 我骄傲 |
[08:44] | You know, Wyatt and I | 话说 我和怀特 |
[08:45] | are trying to make a big decision right now, | 正面临一个重大的抉择 |
[08:46] | and there is this lady that we go to for advice. | 我们找一位女士咨询建议 |
[08:49] | Maybe you could ask her for some advice, too. | 也许你也该找她给你点建议 |
[08:50] | You talking about a shrink? | 你是说心理医生么 |
[08:51] | ‘Cause I have never and will never go | 如果不是法庭强制执行 |
[08:53] | to any therapy that is not court-ordered. | 我这辈子死也不见心理医生 |
[08:55] | No, I don’t believe in any of that psycho nonsense. | 不是 我也不信心理医生神马的 |
[08:58] | This woman is the real deal. | 这女可是真的有两下子 |
[09:00] | Okay, I’m not going to count any of this. | 够了 我可不会一个个把这些钱数完 |
[09:02] | Let’s just say it’s enough and stop. | 就算这些够了吧 可以不用再数了 |
[09:10] | Shut up back there! | 后面安静点 |
[09:12] | Shut up! | 闭嘴 |
[09:15] | I’m watching the neighbor’s friend’s kids. | 我在帮邻居照看小孩 |
[09:16] | Don’t make me tell you which one of you | 可别让我预测 |
[09:18] | is going to go bald before 30. | 你俩谁会在30岁前秃头啊 |
[09:21] | It’s the girl. | 是那女孩 |
[09:23] | Anyway, | 言归正传 |
[09:23] | back to your stuff. | 关于你俩的事 |
[09:24] | Your future card is the Fool. | 你的未来牌是傻瓜 |
[09:27] | I knew it. | 我就知道 |
[09:28] | I’d be a fool to go to Africa. | 我傻了才会去非洲 |
[09:30] | You’d be a fool to go to a tarot reader. | 你傻了才会来找塔罗算命师吧 |
[09:32] | She’s amazing; plus, she’s the reason why I’m dating you. | 她很赞好吧 而且我跟你约会也是因为她 |
[09:34] | If it wasn’t for me, | 要不是我 |
[09:35] | she might be comfortable | 她现在可能正过着 |
[09:36] | in an alternative lifestyle by now. | 舒适的非传统生活呢 |
[09:38] | Hey. Hey. How about a little | 喂喂喂 算命师对客户 |
[09:39] | psychic-client confidentiality, huh? | 也有保密责任好吧 |
[09:41] | So, anyway, based on these cards, | 反正 根据这些牌来看 |
[09:43] | it looks like you should go to Africa, | 貌似你该去非洲 |
[09:46] | – and you should stay home. – Okay, well, | -而你则该留在家里 -好啦 |
[09:48] | the cards have spoken, and powerful words they were. | 塔罗牌都发话了 说得真好 |
[09:51] | Who wants frozen yogurt? | 谁想吃冰酸奶 |
[09:52] | Uh, that’ll be $40. | 40块 |
[09:54] | But I do think you would benefit | 不过我真心觉得 |
[09:56] | from some aura-aligning crystals. | 水晶球会让你运势大好 |
[09:58] | Are you interested in that? | 有兴趣吗 |
[09:59] | Yeah, yeah, sure. | 有 当然有 |
[10:00] | Hey, one of you rug rats, bring out the crystals! | 小的们 拿水晶球来 |
[10:04] | They’re in the back of the freezer behind the trout! | 在冰箱里 鲑鱼后面 |
[10:07] | Want to ask her for a little career advice? | 想找她问点职场建议吗 |
[10:10] | I think I got all the answers I need. | 我想我找到答案了 |
[10:18] | And now we wait for the idiots. | 现在咱坐等白痴上门吧 |
[10:27] | How do you like your new coworkers, Jun and Bing? | 觉得这俩同事怎么样 君和冰 |
[10:29] | They’re okay, I guess. | 好像还行吧 |
[10:30] | Look, I know you’re the boss, | 听着 我知道你是老板 |
[10:32] | but maybe tell me next time | 但下次要雇人的时候 |
[10:33] | you’re going to hire more people. | 最好告诉我一声 |
[10:34] | It was a little awkward this morning | 今早我一出门 |
[10:35] | when I came out and found them in my truck. | 发现他们在我卡车里 太尴尬了 |
[10:37] | I mean, it was locked. | 我的车是锁住的啊 |
[10:39] | The window was only open like this far. | 就窗户开了这么小的一条缝 |
[10:41] | I believe they’ve done some circus work. | 我估计他们在马戏团呆过 |
[10:47] | They used to work the cash registers at Howdy’s. | 他们以前在毫迪超市做收银员 |
[10:49] | I called them the Chinese Checkers. | 我叫他们跳棋[直译是中国收银员] |
[10:51] | That’s hilarious, boss. I mostly hired them | 老板 您真幽默 我雇他们 |
[10:53] | for that joke, but they were terrible. | 基本就是为了这笑话 可他们太糟了 |
[10:55] | I think they’ll be good at lawn work, though. | 不过我觉得他们会在除草界闯出一片天的 |
[10:57] | They’ll make us more money and also free up James | 他们会为我们赚更多的钱 |
[10:59] | to work more shifts at the store. | 还能让詹姆士有更多时间打点超市 |
[11:00] | Less responsibility? Less work? | 责任更小 工作更少 |
[11:02] | It’s great not being boss. | 不当老板真幸福 |
[11:04] | This must be what the E Street Band feels like. | 东街乐队的成员感受也不过如此吧 |
[11:10] | That’s the third time they’ve done that today. | 这已经是今天第三次了 |
[11:12] | I think it’s all part of the package. | 应该是他们杂耍的整套内容了 |
[11:28] | Sorry. Sorry! | 抱歉 抱歉 |
[11:30] | I don’t like beads. I didn’t like ’em in | 我不喜欢珠子 波·德瑞克在电影里 |
[11:32] | Bo Derek’s hair in the movie 10 and I don’t like ’em now. | 把用它们做头饰时我就不喜欢 现在也一样 |
[11:35] | You’re home early. | 你回来挺早啊 |
[11:36] | That’s because I’m an employee. Bank deposits, not my job. | 因为我不当老板了 银行存款 与我无关 |
[11:39] | Paying bills, not my job. | 缴费纳税 与我无关 |
[11:41] | Cleaning off equipment, not my… | 清洁设备 与我无… |
[11:43] | Well, that is my job. | 好吧 这个与我有关 |
[11:44] | Remind me to do that first thing in the morning. | 记得提醒我明早起来就做 |
[11:53] | I might need to rethink the beads. | 我可能得重新考虑下珠帘的事了 |
[11:56] | Ah, stressed out, yet, being | 累趴了吧 作为… |
[12:00] | What’s to be stressed out about, Burt? | 有什么好累的 伯特 |
[12:02] | I’m having one of the best days of my life! | 老娘今天简直达到巅峰了 |
[12:05] | I got off to a rough start. | 一开始并不顺利 |
[12:07] | Old Maid. | 老处女 |
[12:08] | Ooh, that can’t be good. | 哦 这可不好 |
[12:10] | Oh, wait, I think I switched this with one of the kids’ games. | 不好意思 好像把这个和小孩的游戏弄混了 |
[12:13] | But then I started to get the hang of it. | 接着我就渐入佳境了 |
[12:15] | “Justice.” Your legal troubles will be solved soon. | 正义牌 你的法律纠纷很快就能解决 |
[12:19] | Well, I don’t have any legal troubles. | 可我没有法律纠纷 |
[12:21] | Maybe it’s the scales. | 那也许是天平 |
[12:23] | Have you put on weight? | 你长胖了吗 |
[12:24] | Yes, I have; I put on a couple pounds. | 是的 我长了几磅 |
[12:26] | There you go. | 那就对了 |
[12:27] | It’s easy money. | 这钱赚的可容易了 |
[12:31] | And just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, | 就当我以为这样就是巅峰时 |
[12:34] | this happened. | 更巅峰的时刻来了 |
[12:35] | “Ten of Swords.” That means… | 十把剑 这意味着 |
[12:39] | Excuse me? | 不好意思 |
[12:43] | Death card. | 死亡牌 |
[12:44] | I see death… in a… car. | 我看到了死亡 在一辆车里 |
[12:47] | With numbers and buttons. | 有数字和按钮 |
[12:51] | Do you text and drive? | 你是不是喜欢边开车边发短信啊 |
[12:53] | He was so scared, he gave me his phone! | 他吓傻了 直接把手机送我了 |
[12:57] | I just took a texter off the road. | 我把一个短信狂拉下了车 |
[12:59] | I’m saving lives! | 我拯救了无数生命啊 |
[13:00] | Once I realized what I could do, | 当我意识到了自己的能力 |
[13:01] | the rest of the day was amazing! | 接下来就更加如鱼得水了 |
[13:04] | Ah, “The Hermit.” | 隐士牌 |
[13:06] | That means stop dressing like a skank. | 意思是别再穿得像只鸡了 |
[13:08] | There is something in your life you need to remove. | 你生命中有些东西需要摒除 |
[13:13] | The mole. Get rid of the mole. | 那个痣 快去祛痣 |
[13:16] | The feeling of power is so addictive. | 权力在手的感觉太爽了 |
[13:18] | So, you’re thinking of naming your daughter “Linoleum”? | 你想给女儿取名”油布” |
[13:23] | Card says “No.” | 牌上说 不行 |
[13:24] | Call your mother. | 给你妈打电话 |
[13:26] | Buy your wife flowers. | 买花给你老婆 |
[13:28] | Lay off the garlic. | 别吃大蒜了 |
[13:29] | Call your mother. | 给你妈打电话 |
[13:31] | Lose the colored contacts. You’re not fooling anyone. | 别戴美瞳了 骗不了人 |
[13:34] | Call your mother. | 给你妈打电话 |
[13:35] | It’s the fifth time, | 这是第五次了 |
[13:35] | and the card says the same thing: “Cut it off.” | 结果还是一样 剪了 |
[13:43] | Oh, my God. | 真的假的 |
[13:45] | Did you get a guy to cut off his rat tail? | 你让那家伙把老鼠辫给剪了 |
[13:47] | I hate rat tails. | 我恨老鼠辫 |
[13:48] | I do, too. You get that from me. | 我也是 你那是遗传我的 |
[13:50] | I love this job! | 我爱死这工作了 |
[13:52] | When I was a maid, no one would listen to me. | 我当清洁工的时候 从来没人鸟我 |
[13:55] | Now people sit up and listen like I’m some kind of god… | 现在人们对我言听计从 仿佛我是佛祖再世 |
[13:58] | or Judge Judy. | 或是茱蒂法官 |
[14:01] | Burt, I just want to thank you for being | 伯特 我要感谢你这么混蛋 |
[14:02] | such a jerk and inspiring me to do this. | 激发了我的斗志 |
[14:05] | Yeah, well, you enjoy running your business now. | 现在抓紧享受吧 |
[14:08] | Wait’ll you have to deal with tax season. | 等到纳税季或虫灾季 |
[14:09] | Or boll weevils! | 咱再走着瞧 |
[14:11] | Well, boll weevils are more | 好吧 虫灾只会让园丁揪心 |
[14:12] | of a yardman problem, but you’ll get something. | 不过你总会遇到你的灾难的 |
[14:16] | Hey, Jimmy, what does Sabrina, a lion, | 吉米 塞布丽娜 狮子 |
[14:19] | and the Ebola virus have in common? | 和埃博拉病毒有啥共同点 |
[14:21] | They all might be in Africa next month. | 下个月他们可能就都在非洲啦 |
[14:24] | What? | 什么 |
[14:25] | I might go. | 我可能要去 |
[14:26] | My psychic lady changed her mind. | 我的灵媒改变主意了 |
[14:28] | She said her first reading might have been bad | 她说她第一次看的可能不准 |
[14:29] | because she was fuzzy from her glaucoma exam. | 因为她刚做了青光眼检查 眼还花着呢 |
[14:32] | But what about the bugs, the blood diamonds, | 可那边还有很多虫子 还记血钻的故事么 |
[14:34] | the “Gentile” Mutilation? | 还有对异教徒的迫害 |
[14:35] | I’m sorry. I was saying that wrong before. | 不好意思 上次我说成横尸了 |
[14:36] | It’s not ideal. It’s just, | 当然算不上理想 |
[14:38] | we don’t really want to be apart. | 可我们真的不想分开 |
[14:39] | And he does look really hot in a dashiki. | 而且他穿这身着实很性感啊 |
[14:41] | Yes, I do. | 必须的 |
[14:42] | Which means | 所以 |
[14:43] | Sabrina and I might put the “Freak” In A-freak-a. | 我和塞布丽娜要去颠覆非洲啦 |
[14:50] | Come on, J-man. | 来啊 小J |
[14:57] | Look, I’m just the messenger. | 我只是个传话的 |
[14:58] | The cards are saying it right here: | 牌上显示的明明白白的 |
[15:01] | “You need to cut that fake plastic scrotum off | 你得把那假的塑料阴囊 |
[15:04] | the back of your trailer hitch.” | 从拖车栓钩上拿下来 |
[15:06] | Mom, help! The reader told | 妈 忙帮啊 那个灵媒 |
[15:08] | Sabrina and Wyatt to go to Africa, and she might do it, | 让塞布丽娜跟怀特去非洲 她可能要去了 |
[15:10] | so I need you to do a reading where you tell him to go, | 我要你也算上一掛 告诉他 他得去 |
[15:12] | and her to stay, and make it convincing. | 而她得留 得演像点啊 |
[15:15] | I mean, assuming that’s what the magic cards are telling you, of course. | 我是说 如果牌面上这么显示的话 |
[15:21] | Sorry to interrupt. | 抱歉打断你们了 |
[15:22] | We’re just finishing up. | 我们马上就完了 |
[15:24] | Neuter your truck. | 给你的卡车绝育 |
[15:26] | Call your mother. | 然后给你妈打电话 |
[15:38] | Just toss it… | 直接放进去就行了 |
[15:43] | You planning on driving, huh, Jun? | 你要开车是吧 君 |
[15:45] | That’s cool. | 酷 |
[15:46] | We’re all just worker bees. | 我们都是辛勤劳作的小蜜蜂 |
[15:47] | Working for the man bee. | 为主子工作 |
[15:49] | I got shotgun! | 我要坐前面[直译是我有霰弹枪] |
[15:50] | Whoa, whoa! No, no! No weapons. | 别别 放下武器 |
[15:52] | Just an expression. | 这是俚语而已 |
[15:54] | Put the gun down. | 快放下枪 |
[15:57] | I’ll, uh, I’ll ride in the back. | 我坐后面好了 |
[16:04] | Hey! Stop, stop. | 停停 |
[16:06] | I want to get a hot dog. | 我要去买个热狗 |
[16:17] | This is not a hot dog. | 这又不是热狗 |
[16:36] | Okay, enough! | 好了 够了 |
[16:38] | I’ll eat your stinky noodles, | 我可以吃这发臭的面条 |
[16:39] | I’ll even sit in the back of my own truck, | 我也可以坐在我自己卡车的后车箱 |
[16:41] | but if you think I’m gonna go another morning | 可要再让我一上午听不到 |
[16:42] | without listening to Bulldog Mike and the Queefer, | 斗牛麦克和Queefer的歌 |
[16:45] | you got another thing coming! | 我可忍不下去啦 |
[16:46] | Hit preset three! Hit preset three! | 按3 快按3 |
[16:49] | I called Barney, told him I’m boss again. | 我给巴尼打电话了 说我要重新做主了 |
[16:52] | And then I fired him, Jun and Bing. | 然后我把他和君 冰一起炒了 |
[16:54] | How’d that go? | 还顺利么 |
[16:55] | It’s hard to tell. | 说不清 |
[16:56] | They yell whether they’re happy or angry. | 反正他们挺闹腾 分不清是高兴还是生气 |
[16:58] | So I guess I was right. Being the boss is great. | 看来我说得对吧 当老板才爽 |
[17:01] | It still sucks. | 还是不爽 |
[17:02] | It just doesn’t suck as much as not being the boss. | 只不过比不当老板爽一点 |
[17:04] | Listening to music you hate, | 听你不喜欢的音乐 |
[17:06] | getting trapped in the back of a pickup, | 只能坐后车箱 |
[17:07] | being forced to slurp up some Chinese guy’s noodle. | 还得被迫吃中国面条 |
[17:12] | I could’ve said that better. | 我还能说得更残点 |
[17:13] | Guys, they’re coming, they’re coming. | 来了 他们来了 |
[17:16] | We gotta get ready. | 得准备了 |
[17:26] | I have to say, I am so honored | 我得说 我很荣幸 |
[17:29] | that you two came to Madam Virginia | 你们能就人生中的重大问题 |
[17:31] | for your important life answers. | 来咨询维吉妮亚女士的意见 |
[17:32] | This is major crossroads you’re at, | 你们目前所在的十字路口 |
[17:35] | and it’s good to get a second opinion. | 听取他人意见是很有必要的 |
[17:37] | Damn Jun and Bing, I can’t get their | 该死的君和冰 |
[17:40] | Chinese punk music out of my head. | 他们的中国朋克音乐一直在我脑中回响 |
[17:44] | Dad, would you be quiet? | 爹 安静点行不 |
[17:46] | I’m trying to listen in here. | 我在听人说话呢 |
[17:47] | Why’d you turn the music off? I liked it. | 干嘛关了音乐 我喜欢 |
[17:49] | Maw Maw, shh! | 曾奶奶 嘘 |
[17:51] | Wow, that’s pretty clear. | 哇哦 很明显啊 |
[17:53] | This says Wyatt should go to Africa and you should stay home. | 牌上说怀特该去 而你该留下 |
[17:56] | I can’t believe you believe in this stuff. | 真不敢相信你信这些玩意儿 |
[17:59] | It’s just a woman flipping over cards. | 就是个女的随便翻翻牌而已 |
[18:01] | Why do you have to think everything that I like is stupid? | 你为什么觉得我喜欢的一起都是愚蠢的 |
[18:03] | I don’t. | 我没有 |
[18:04] | Actually, this card does say | 说实话 这牌上说 |
[18:06] | that he thinks everything you like is stupid. | 他的确觉得你喜欢的东西都很蠢 |
[18:12] | No, it wasn’t pretty like that. | 不对 不是那样 |
[18:13] | It was like: | 应该是… |
[18:16] | Well, you’re doing it wrong. | 你错了 |
[18:17] | Well, I’m just doing what’s in my head. | 我只是唱出脑海里所浮现的 |
[18:19] | Guys, I’m trying to eavesdrop. Can you show some consideration? | 拜托 我在偷听呢 有点公德心行吗 |
[18:22] | And it’s not just this; you thought it was stupid when | 不光是这事 我当初想学写作的时候 |
[18:24] | I wanted to study writing. | 你也觉得很蠢 |
[18:25] | Whoa, would you look at that? | 呃 看看这张 |
[18:28] | This one says he doesn’t believe in your dreams. | 这张说 他根本不屑你的梦想 |
[18:31] | This is going great. | 苗头不错啊 |
[18:36] | Not the same song, but I’m liking this jam. | 不是同一首歌 不过我喜欢 |
[18:39] | Wyatt, this is you going away to college all over again! | 怀特 是你不由分说又重回了大学 |
[18:42] | You do what you want without any consideration for me. | 你做你想做的 从来不考虑我 |
[18:45] | This card means “Selfish lover.” | 这张牌是 自私的恋人 |
[18:48] | Does that mean anything to anybody? | 能让你们想到什么吗 |
[18:50] | Why don’t you ask “Mr. Tongue- Kissing-Freaks-Me-Out”? | 不如问问 “怕舌吻先生”吧 |
[18:52] | You have a long tongue! | 明明是你舌头太长 |
[18:53] | You have a shallow mouth! | 明明是你嘴太短 |
[18:55] | Whoa, would you look at that? | 看看这个 |
[18:58] | This card says you two are better off being | 这张牌说 |
[19:00] | far away from each other. | 你俩最好远离对方 |
[19:01] | Well, maybe Africa’s not far enough away. | 可能非洲还不够远 |
[19:03] | You know what? Why don’t you just go to Africa, all right? | 你就去你的非洲吧 |
[19:05] | Just get on your vine, Tarzan, and swing away! | 亲爱的泰山 抓好你的树藤 荡过去吧 |
[19:09] | Oh, my God, she’s not just keeping Sabrina here, | 我的个神 她不光是要留下塞布丽娜 |
[19:12] | Mom’s breaking them up! | 老妈在拆散他们 |
[19:13] | Sabrina could be mine in a week! | 不出一周 塞布丽娜就可能是我的了 |
[19:29] | So it’s over? You really, | 所以 结束了是吧 |
[19:31] | you really want it to be over?! | 你真的 真的很想结束是吧 |
[19:32] | Well, it seems to be what you want! | 貌似是你想结束吧 |
[19:33] | Interestingly, it’s what the cards seem to want. | 真有意思 这貌似也是牌想要的 |
[19:36] | Much like your belly button, I’m outie! | 就像你的肚脐一样 我出去了 |
[19:40] | It is an umbilical hernia, you insensitive jerk! | 我那时脐突出 你个混蛋 |
[19:44] | I was out of earshot for some reason. | 我刚才有事没听到 |
[19:46] | What’s going on in here? | 这里怎么了 |
[19:48] | I think Wyatt and Sabrina just broke up. | 貌似怀特和塞布丽娜分手了 |
[19:50] | What? | 什么 |
[19:51] | Oh, no. | 不会吧 |
[19:52] | Come here. I think someone needs a hug. | 快过来 我想某人需要个肩膀 |
[19:55] | No, I’m fine. | 不 我没事 |
[19:56] | Actually, the cards say | 事实上 这牌说 |
[19:58] | you could use a hug. | 你可以借用一个肩膀 |
[20:03] | And screw that Wyatt. | 让怀特去死吧 |
[20:04] | He only cares about himself. | 他只关心他自己 |
[20:06] | I hope he gets hit by a bus. | 希望他被巴士撞死 |
[20:09] | Oh, my God! Wyatt! | 天啊 怀特 |
[20:14] | Damn, Mom, that wasn’t a bus, | 靠 妈啊 那不是巴士 |
[20:17] | but still, pretty close. | 不过也很接近预测了 |
[20:22] | Sabrina… | 塞布丽娜 |
[20:24] | I am so sorry for yelling at you about Africa. | 抱歉为了非洲的事跟你吵架 |
[20:26] | God, I’m so sorry for yelling at you about Africa. | 天 是我抱歉才对 |
[20:28] | And I’m sorry for not warning you I had pooped myself | 还有 你把我救下车时我失禁了 |
[20:30] | before you pulled me out of the car. | 抱歉没提醒你 |
[20:31] | It’s fine. I’m just, I’m-I’m so glad you’re okay. | 没关系 你没事我就很开心了 |
[20:36] | If you’re okay with that, | 如果这你都不介意 |
[20:37] | then I’m okay not going to Africa. | 那我也不介意不去非洲了 |
[20:40] | I’d rather stay in Natesville with you. | 我宁愿留在那什维尔跟你在一起 |
[20:46] | What have you done?! | 你搞什么啊 |
[20:47] | It wasn’t my fault. | 能怪我吗 |
[20:49] | It was whoever hit his car. | 要怪撞他的那人 |
[20:52] | Hey, buddy. | 伙计 |
[20:53] | I apologize for running into your car. | 真抱歉撞了你的车 |
[20:55] | I was dialing the phone to call my mom at the time. | 我当时正在给我妈打电话 |
[20:57] | I had to explain to her why I cut off the truck scrotum | 我得跟她解释为什么把拖车栓钩上 |
[20:59] | she gave me for my birthday. | 她送我的假阴囊给摘了 |
[21:00] | Oh, my God! | 天啊 |
[21:01] | Hey, it’s the card-reader lady. | 是塔罗牌大仙啊 |
[21:03] | I’ve been meaning to ask you about mud flaps. | 我还想问问你脚垫的事呢 |
[21:05] | Should I go with Yosemite Sam or naked ladies? | 我该选风景的还是选裸女的 |
[21:07] | No! I’m out of the business. | 够了 我不干了 |
[21:09] | This is too much pressure. Too much power. | 能力越大 压力也越大啊 |
[21:12] | Make the wrong decision, you could screw up something huge! | 一朝棋错 就可能满盘皆输啊 |
[21:17] | I can’t hale the stress. | 这种压力我可受不了 |
[21:21] | It’s not easy having all the responsibility, is it? | 咋样 责任在身不容易吧 |
[21:24] | Heavy is the head that wears the boss hat. | 当老板的都头大 |
[21:32] | That’s what I thought! | 我就是这么想的 |