| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Virginia? Virginia? Virginia? | 维吉妮亚 维吉妮亚 维吉妮亚 |
| [00:05] | Guess how I got this. | 猜我是怎么弄到这个的 |
| [00:06] | Ooh, I love this game! | 我最爱玩这个了 |
| [00:08] | “Guess how I got this” Was a game | “猜我是怎么弄到这个的”游戏 |
| [00:10] | my parents hadbeen playing for years. | 我爹妈已经乐此不疲好多年了 |
| [00:16] | Guess how I got this. | 猜我是怎么弄到这个的 |
| [00:19] | Guess how I got this. | 猜我是怎么弄到这个的 |
| [00:24] | Guess how I got this. | 猜我是怎么弄到这个的 |
| [00:30] | Guess how I got this. | 猜我是怎么弄到这个的 |
| [00:35] | I don’t want to brag, | 我不想吹牛 |
| [00:36] | but I was sort of the inspiration for this game. | 但我差不多算是这个游戏的灵感之源 |
| [00:38] | Guess how I got this. | 猜我是怎么弄到这个的 |
| [00:43] | I’m gonna guess that Sarah McLachlan | 我猜莎拉·麦劳克兰 |
| [00:45] | freed all the lobsters from the Seafood Shack again. | 又把海鲜市场的所有龙虾都放生了 |
| [00:47] | Nope. | 不对 |
| [00:49] | You won a bet with the governor of Maine. | 你和缅因州的州长打赌赢了 |
| [00:50] | Sabrina, Main Street doesn’t have a governor. | 塞布丽娜 大街上才没有州长呢 |
| [00:52] | You got to think before you guess. | 说话前动动脑子好吗 |
| [00:53] | You know, you guys are ruining this game. | 你们把这游戏的乐趣都毁了 |
| [00:56] | Where’d you get the lobster, Burt? | 你从哪儿弄到这龙虾的 伯特 |
| [00:57] | Tyler couldn’t pay me for mowing his lawn, | 泰勒付不起我整理草坪的钱 |
| [00:58] | so he gave me this little fella. | 就把这小家伙抵给我了 |
| [01:00] | – Burt, I think you got the better end of that deal. – Yeah. | -伯特 我觉得你占到大便宜了呢 -是啊 |
| [01:03] | We could never afford lobsters at the store. | 超市的龙虾我们可买不起呢 |
| [01:05] | I know! Tyler says supermarkets have to overcharge | 是啊 泰勒说超市必须高价出售 |
| [01:07] | because of all the middlemen they have to pay. | 因为有层层的中间人都要收取费用 |
| [01:10] | The delivery guy, the ice guy, | 送货的 送冰的 |
| [01:11] | those useless baggers and checkers. | 那些没用的装袋工和收银员 |
| [01:13] | Oh, I hate those guys. | 我讨厌他们 |
| [01:14] | Jimmy, we are those guys. | 吉米 我们就是干那行的 |
| [01:16] | You should make this a regular thing with Tyler. | 你应该跟泰勒说好以后都用龙虾结账 |
| [01:17] | I’m gonna. | 正有此意 |
| [01:18] | But I was thinking, why stop with lobster? | 但我在想 怎能满足于区区一只龙虾呢 |
| [01:21] | This could be huge. | 这玩意完全可以做大啊 |
| [01:23] | Think of the other things I could trade for. | 想想其他可以交换的东西 |
| [01:24] | Crabs, shrimp, mollusks. | 螃蟹 虾 各种贝类 |
| [01:26] | No. Think bigger. | 别停 再往大处想 |
| [01:29] | I don’t know. Oysters. | 还有啊 牡蛎吗 |
| [01:30] | Um, uh… pelicans! | 鹈鹕 |
| [01:32] | Even bigger. | 再大点 |
| [01:34] | We could both trade services for stuff. | 我们可以一起用自己的服务来换实物 |
| [01:36] | We’d be doing the same amount of work, | 我们的工作量一点没加 |
| [01:38] | but enjoying a much bigger return on the cool stuff. | 但回报更丰厚 |
| [01:41] | That sounds great! | 听起来不错啊 |
| [01:43] | You guys should find some tradable skills and join us. | 你们也可以找些可以交换的技能加入我们 |
| [01:45] | Must be something you’re good at. | 你们总该有什么擅长的吧 |
| [01:47] | I’ve gotten really good at avoiding ridiculous ideas, | 我特别擅长避免把自己扯进荒诞的事里 |
| [01:49] | which is why we’re gonna bow out. | 所以别算上我们 |
| [01:51] | Plus, we have Barney’s first aid class tomorrow. | 再说 明天巴尼要给我们上急救课 |
| [01:52] | First aid class? What do you need that for? | 急救课 你学那个干啥 |
| [01:55] | First aid is just a scam dreamed up by the gauze and bandage people. | 急救只是那些卖纱布的捏造的骗局 |
| [01:58] | Or a proven life saver. | 或者它就是个行之有效的救命措施 |
| [01:59] | Yeah, and since Hope spends so much time here, | 是啊 喜旺大部分时间都你们带 |
| [02:01] | we think you guys ought to check out the class, too, | 所以我们希望你们也能去听听课 |
| [02:03] | for Hope’s sake. | 就当是为了喜旺 |
| [02:04] | Jimmy, kids get hurt– | 吉米 孩子难免受伤 |
| [02:06] | they scrape their elbows, they cut their finger, | 擦伤手肘 割到手指 |
| [02:08] | they fall through a hole in the bottom of your car. | 从车底的洞里掉下去 |
| [02:10] | Nothing you can do to avoid it. | 这都是无法避免的 |
| [02:12] | Besides, we got a perfectly good first aid kit right here. | 再说我们这里有个超级完美的急救箱 |
| [02:15] | See? | 瞧 |
| [02:19] | “Shoot flare, eat sandwich, wait for help.” | “发射求救信号 吃个三明治 等待救援” |
| [02:23] | I don’t know. Maybe they’re right. | 我也不知道 或许他们说的对 |
| [02:25] | Maybe we should just skip the class and… | 不如我们直接翘掉培训课吧 |
| [02:27] | Jimmy. | 吉米 |
| [02:29] | Oh, my. | 天啊 |
| [02:38] | Oh, the years have not been kind | 时间真是把杀猪刀 |
| [02:40] | to this turkey salad sandwich. | 火鸡色拉三明治变毒药 |
| [02:50] | The next day, my parents put their bartering plan into action, | 第二天 我父母把以物换物计划付诸实践 |
| [02:53] | and it actually worked. | 竟然还成功了 |
| [02:54] | They got things they needed. | 他们得到了需要的 |
| [02:56] | They got things they didn’t need. | 和不需要的东西 |
| [02:58] | And they got things that were long overdue. | 也享受了早就该去做的事 |
| [03:02] | Rinse. | 冲洗 |
| [03:06] | Most importantly, they got things they had always dreamt about. | 最重要的是 他们得到了一直以来长期梦寐以求的东西 |
| [03:12] | Oh, if we have maple syrup this incredible here, | 我们这儿有如此美味的枫糖浆 |
| [03:14] | why do we even talk to Canada? | 何必还要舔着脸找加拿大进口 |
| [03:17] | Oh, man. | 天啊 |
| [03:19] | Barb, what you’re doing right now is actually | 巴布 你的高超手法让我 |
| [03:21] | making me look forward to cleaning your drain hair. | 十分乐意帮你清理下水槽口蓄积的毛发 |
| [03:26] | Hey, Virginia, check out my new lid. | 维吉妮亚 瞧瞧我的新帽子 |
| [03:29] | Old Lady Stevens made this for me for cleaning out her pool. | 我替斯蒂芬老太太清洗泳池 她帮我做的 |
| [03:32] | This bartering thing– it’s the greatest thing ever. | 以物换物真是有史以来最棒的事 |
| [03:34] | I know. Massages, lobsters, crocheted hats. | 没错 按摩 龙虾 毛线帽 |
| [03:37] | It’s like we’re barter-aires! | 我们简直是以物换物的大师 |
| [03:39] | I was thinking. | 我在想 |
| [03:40] | what if the people who are trading with us | 如果那些和我们交换的人 |
| [03:42] | started trading with each other? | 相互间也进行同样的交易呢 |
| [03:44] | Yeah. Natesville would become a place | 是啊 对整个纳什维尔而言 |
| [03:46] | where the good things in life | 生命中那些美好的事 |
| [03:47] | actually trickle up to the people who do all the work. | 可以向那些一直辛苦劳作的人倾斜 |
| [03:49] | A trickle-up economy. | 倾斜式经济 |
| [03:51] | I think that’s a thing. | 我觉得真有那玩意儿呢 |
| [03:53] | No. | 不是 |
| [03:54] | I’m thinking Tickle Me Elmo. | 我突然想起挠痒娃娃了[与倾斜式经济谐音] |
| [03:58] | You all may wonder why I’m qualified to teach this class. | 你们或许都很好奇我为何有资格教这堂课 |
| [04:00] | Well, I learned a thing or two from the trusty scouts. | 我童子军时期可学到过不少东西 |
| [04:04] | They would often administer first aid | 他们把我打个半死之后 |
| [04:05] | after they beat the tarnation out of me. | 总是会对我采取急救措施 |
| [04:09] | I suppose I was an easy target. | 可能因为我是一个特别容易搞定的家伙 |
| [04:11] | Overweight, asthmatic, anemic | 超重 气喘 贫血 |
| [04:13] | and wildly color blind. | 还是个重度色盲 |
| [04:15] | You’re late. Is everything all right? | 怎么迟到了 没事吧 |
| [04:17] | I just got this postcard from my mother. | 我刚收到我妈寄来的明信片 |
| [04:20] | “Wish You Were Here.” | “真希望你也在这儿” |
| [04:21] | – Oh, she’s being nice this time. – Yeah. Turn it over. | -她这次挺和善的 -想太多 看背面 |
| [04:24] | “Because forehead reduction surgery is super cheap in Ecuador. | “因为在厄瓜尔多做前额缩小术超级便宜 |
| [04:28] | Love, Tams.” | 爱你 塔玛” |
| [04:28] | Oh, I’m sorry, sweetie. | 别难过 亲爱的 |
| [04:30] | Yeah. Really, I should be flattered. | 不 我该感到荣幸才对 |
| [04:32] | I mean, even in tropical paradise, | 她虽然身在热带天堂 |
| [04:34] | she’s thinking about my flaws. | 心里却还在想着我的缺点 |
| [04:36] | Unfortunately, I took six brutal beatings | 不幸的是 我被胖揍了六顿 |
| [04:39] | before I learned there was no merit badge for cruelty, | 才知道根本没有什么残忍勋章 |
| [04:42] | and I’d been letting the scouts pummel me for no real reason. | 而那些童子军对我施暴时我竟然不做反抗 |
| [04:46] | Hey, everybody. | 大家好 |
| [04:47] | Check out my big cans. | 瞧瞧我的大奶罐 |
| [04:52] | You all remember Josh. He’s back after a couple years away. | 还记得乔希吗 他走了几年又回来了 |
| [04:55] | SEAL Team Six. | 第六号海豹突击队 |
| [04:57] | Josh is amazing with grocery humor. | 乔希很擅长拿杂货开玩笑 |
| [04:59] | He does a similar joke with jugs. | 他曾用水壶开过一个类似的玩笑 |
| [05:02] | Once my parents had gathered all of Natesville’s skilled workers, | 当我爸妈把纳什维尔的所有技工都召集齐了后 |
| [05:05] | they attempted to lay out the plan. | 他们打算将计划付诸实施 |
| [05:07] | It took a while for some of them to understand. | 但有些人花了好些时间才明白 |
| [05:09] | Hi. My name’s Phil, and I’m an alcoholic. | 大家好 我是酒鬼菲尔 |
| [05:12] | Hi, Phil. | 你好 菲尔 |
| [05:14] | Phil, for the second time, | 菲尔 我再说一遍 |
| [05:15] | that’s not why we’re here. | 这里不是互助会 |
| [05:17] | Oh. For the past few days, | 在过去的几天里 |
| [05:18] | Virginia and I have enjoyed a lifestyle | 维吉妮亚和我过上了一种 |
| [05:21] | that previously was beyond our reach. | 曾经我们无法企及的生活方式 |
| [05:25] | How did we do it, Burt? | 我们怎么办到的 伯特 |
| [05:27] | Through barter. Oh. | 通过以物换物 |
| [05:29] | In fact, after only a few hours of lawn work, | 事实是 我仅仅修了几个小时的草坪 |
| [05:32] | I was able to trade for something that was heretofore | 就可以交换到一个 |
| [05:35] | only available to tycoons and walruses. | 迄今为止只有富豪跟海象可以享用的东西 |
| [05:39] | What is it? | 是什么呢 |
| [05:41] | Well, look under your chairs and find out! | 好吧 答案就在你们的椅子下 |
| [05:46] | Is that a lobster? | 这不是龙虾吗 |
| [05:48] | That’s right. | 正是 |
| [05:49] | You get a lobster! | 龙虾归你了 |
| [05:50] | You get a lobster! | 快把龙虾带回家吧 |
| [05:52] | You get a lobster! | 你也得到了一只龙虾 |
| [05:55] | No! | 痛 |
| [06:00] | Make it stop! | 帮我弄掉它 |
| [06:03] | Sorry about the paper towel. | 抱歉我只能用纸巾 |
| [06:05] | I don’t believe in gauze. | 因为我不相信纱布 |
| [06:07] | The thing we’re trying to say is, | 我们想说的是 |
| [06:09] | I was able to trade for all these lobsters | 之所以我能交换到这么多龙虾 |
| [06:11] | because we cut out the middleman. | 是因为我们跳过了中间商 |
| [06:13] | I didn’t have to pay the delivery guy, | 我不用付钱给送货的 |
| [06:14] | or the claw-rubberbanderer guy. | 也不用付钱给在龙虾鳌上套橡胶圈的 |
| [06:17] | Sorry again, Barb. | 真心对不住 巴布 |
| [06:19] | And we’re inviting you to do the same thing, | 我们正邀请你们做一样的事情 |
| [06:23] | and not just with us, but with each other. | 不仅仅是跟我们 是跟大家所有人 |
| [06:25] | Because the more people that are involved, | 因为越多的人参与其中 |
| [06:27] | the more people benefit. | 越多人获利 |
| [06:28] | And again, this is not a pyramid scheme. | 再提醒一下 这不是在搞”金字塔骗局” |
| [06:31] | Although if you make pyramids, | 就算你是干这行的 |
| [06:32] | you’re welcome to join our scheme. | 我们一样欢迎你入局 |
| [06:34] | Uh, I mean, system. | 我是说加入体系 |
| [06:35] | So, are you saying | 那你的意思是 |
| [06:36] | I can trade Old Lady Stevens lobsters | 我可以用龙虾跟史蒂文斯老太太 |
| [06:38] | for a crocheted suit in a 42 slim? | 换一套42码的修身针织套装 |
| [06:41] | Oh, honey, that’s not gonna work. | 噢 孩子 这肯定行不通 |
| [06:43] | I’m allergic to crustaceans. | 我对龙虾过敏的 |
| [06:45] | That’s easy. | 这很简单 |
| [06:48] | I mow your lawn, | 我替你修草坪 |
| [06:51] | you give Tyler the suit, | 你给泰勒针织套装 |
| [06:54] | Tyler gives me the lobsters. | 泰勒给我龙虾 |
| [06:59] | Again, | 另外 |
| [07:00] | I can’t stress enough, | 我再强调一遍 |
| [07:02] | this is not a pyramid scheme. | 这不是”金字塔骗局” |
| [07:06] | And Clara Barton said, “You know what? I will.” | 克拉拉·巴顿表示同意 |
| [07:11] | And that, I think, covers the origins of first aid. | 我想这基本上概述了急救的起源 |
| [07:15] | Oh, I can’t believe that took an hour and 45 minutes. | 噢 我没想到居然花了1小时45分钟 |
| [07:17] | Oh, well, let’s move quickly to choking. | 好吧 我们接着说窒息 |
| [07:19] | Now, here are the most common choking hazards. | 这些都是最常见的容易噎到的东西 |
| [07:23] | Finally, some food. I’m starving. | 总算有吃的了 我饿了 |
| [07:29] | Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy? | 吉米 吉米 吉米 |
| [07:31] | I think James is really choking! | 我想吉米真的噎到了 |
| [07:32] | Okay, nobody panic. | 大家不要慌 |
| [07:37] | Has anyone here ever actually done the Heimlich? | 有人真的用过海姆利克氏操作法吗 |
| [07:39] | Yes. | 我 |
| [07:40] | I’ve only ever done it with my special body pillow. | 人家只在人形枕头上实施过呀 |
| [07:43] | Oh, it’s no use. My hands are slipping! | 没用 我的手好滑 |
| [07:45] | Damn my vain compulsion to moisturize! | 都怪我擦手霜的强迫症 |
| [07:47] | My hands are beautiful, but useless! | 我的手很漂亮 但毫无用处 |
| [07:55] | Oh, my God. Jimmy’s wife | 我的天 吉米的老婆 |
| [07:59] | just saved his life. | 刚刚救了吉米 |
| [08:00] | What a wuss! | 太弱了吧 |
| [08:02] | Hey, Jimmy, what’s next? | 吉米 接下来呢 |
| [08:03] | Are you gonna start peeing sitting down? | 你要坐下来小便吗 |
| [08:07] | Okay, you know what? Can you just cut it out, Josh? | 你可以闭嘴了吗 乔希 |
| [08:10] | Okay, okay, calm down. | 好 好 冷静点 |
| [08:12] | They’re not gonna kill him. They’re jokes, | 这又弄不死他 只是玩笑而已 |
| [08:14] | not grapes. | 又不是葡萄 |
| [08:24] | I apologize, Jimmy. | 对不起 吉米 |
| [08:25] | If I don’t laugh along with his jokes, | 如果我不跟着笑 |
| [08:27] | he’ll start making fun of me again. | 他就改取笑我了 |
| [08:29] | As you know, I’m a veritable minefield of mockable traits. | 你懂的 我浑身上下确实充满了笑点 |
| [08:33] | It’s all right, Frank. | 没事的 弗兰克 |
| [08:35] | Yo, Frank, you coming? | 弗兰克 你来吗 |
| [08:36] | Yeah. I was just pointing Jimmy towards the sanitary napkins. | 马上 我在给吉米指卫生巾的位置 |
| [08:43] | I’m so sorry. | 真的很抱歉 |
| [08:48] | Hey, are you okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [08:51] | Hey, you know, I’m not a baby, Sabrina, all right? | 我又不是个小孩 塞布丽娜 |
| [08:53] | I-I can take care of myself. | 我能照顾好我自己 |
| [08:59] | What was that all about? | 这算什么啊 |
| [09:01] | I’m afraid you saved his life, | 你救了他的命 |
| [09:02] | but in the process, you may have killed his manhood. | 同时也可能扼杀了他的男子气概 |
| [09:04] | Well, he was choking. | 他被噎到了 |
| [09:06] | What was I supposed to do? | 我还能怎么办 |
| [09:07] | Well, you could have waited for the professionals to show up. | 你也可以等专业人士出现 |
| [09:09] | It’s not like a few less brain cells | 又不是说牺牲一些脑细胞 |
| [09:10] | is gonna cost him a Pulitzer. | 会让他少得一个普利策奖 |
| [09:12] | Oh, okay, so, I should just wait for him | 好吧 那我下次就看着他在大伙面前噎到 |
| [09:14] | to choke in public again, and then not save him? | 不去救他咯 |
| [09:16] | Oh, that could take days, | 那可得过段时间了 |
| [09:17] | and I don’t think he’s got that kind of time. | 但我觉得他撑不到那时候 |
| [09:19] | You’ve got to help him get his masculinity back. | 你得帮他把他的男子气概找回来 |
| [09:21] | How am I supposed to do that? | 我该怎么帮 |
| [09:22] | Why are you asking me? | 你问我干嘛 |
| [09:24] | I have two mothers, no wife, | 我有两个妈妈 没有老婆 |
| [09:25] | and those scouts who used to beat me up… were girls. | 而且曾经狂殴我的童子军还都是妹子 |
| [09:35] | We’ve got a problem, Burt. | 我们有麻烦了 伯特 |
| [09:36] | I gave Barb a lobster, but she only massaged | 我给了巴布一只龙虾 但她只帮我 |
| [09:38] | the left side of my body. | 按摩左半边的身体 |
| [09:39] | It only took me one to realize I don’t really like lobster. | 我尝一口就知道自己根本不爱吃龙虾 |
| [09:42] | Turns out, I just really like melted butter. | 我只喜欢溶化的黄油 |
| [09:44] | But now my left side is relaxed, | 但现在我的左半边很爽 |
| [09:45] | and my right side is tense as hell. | 而右半边的肌肉却紧得难受 |
| [09:47] | Okay, we can figure this out. | 好吧 我们想想怎么办 |
| [09:49] | Burt, look at this. | 伯特 看看这个 |
| [09:52] | I totally get it. | 我明白 |
| [09:54] | You’re a mechanic with a spare tire. | 你是一个套着备用轮胎的技工 |
| [09:56] | Apparently, an oil change | 很明显 现在一瓶油 |
| [09:57] | is only worth half a sweater now. | 只够换半件毛衣 |
| [09:59] | Knitting a sweater takes a long time. | 织毛衣很花时间的 |
| [10:02] | Just be happy it covers your man boobs. | 你最好庆幸它可以盖得到你的胸部 |
| [10:05] | At least they’re not bouncing off my knees, | 至少它们没有下垂到我的膝盖 |
| [10:06] | you useless bag of wrinkles. | 你这个没用的老太婆 |
| [10:09] | We can work this out. | 我们能解决这些问题的 |
| [10:11] | First, Phil, apologize to your mother. | 首先 菲尔 跟你妈道歉 |
| [10:14] | Unfortunately, there were more than a few people | 不幸的是 越来越多人 |
| [10:17] | that had a problem with Mom and Dad’s plan. | 在爸爸妈妈的计划上出了状况 |
| [10:19] | So they brought everyone together | 所以他们聚集所有人 |
| [10:20] | and tried to figure things out. | 来解决他们的问题 |
| [10:21] | Okay, so if Tyler gives two lobsters to Barb, | 如果泰勒给了巴布两只龙虾 |
| [10:26] | and Barb gives a third of a massage to Dr. Conway, | 巴布给康威医生做三分之一疗程的按摩 |
| [10:30] | and Dr. Conway cleans four of Pam, | 然后康威医生再为预言家帕姆 |
| [10:34] | the fortune teller’s teeth… | 洗四颗牙 |
| [10:35] | Right, and she gives half | 没错 然后帕姆 |
| [10:37] | of next week’s lottery numbers to Phil, | 再告诉菲尔下周彩票号码的一半 |
| [10:39] | Phil fixes Syrup Sam’s truck | 菲尔去为糖浆山姆修车 |
| [10:42] | in exchange for six pancakes | 以交换六块煎饼 |
| [10:43] | worth of syrup to Old Lady Stevens. | 等值于山姆给史蒂文斯老太太的枫糖浆 |
| [10:45] | Who makes a crocheted hat for… | 而老太太要织帽子给… |
| [10:48] | Wait. Who needs a crocheted hat? | 等等 谁要针织帽子来着 |
| [10:54] | Our micro economic group may be experiencing a Hat Bubble. | 我们的微经济组织可能遭遇了”帽子泡沫” |
| [10:58] | Maybe we don’t have to trade | 也许我们不需要等价交换 |
| [11:00] | one particular service for another? | 某种特定的服务 |
| [11:02] | Maybe there’s something we can create | 或许我们可以创造某种东西 |
| [11:04] | that represents the value of services rendered. | 来代表服务的价值 |
| [11:07] | Like colored beads or a piece of paper. | 比如彩色珠子 或者纸 |
| [11:09] | Paper’s a good idea. | 纸这个想法很高端 |
| [11:10] | That’s pretty cool. | 很新颖 |
| [11:11] | But to make it even more official… | 但如果要显得官方正式 |
| [11:14] | we should put someone’s face on it! | 我们就该在上面加个头像 |
| [11:18] | Now, who could that be? | 加谁的头像呢 |
| [11:26] | To bring their barter system to the next level, | 为了让这个以物换物系统更高级 |
| [11:28] | my parents went down to Lee’s Copy Shop | 爹妈去了李的复印店 |
| [11:30] | and had him print up hundreds of Burt Bucks. | 让李印刷了几百张伯特币 |
| [11:38] | There’s plenty to go around. | 这些足够流通了 |
| [11:40] | Trust me, this’ll make everything easier. | 相信我 有了这个 一切就简单多了 |
| [11:42] | They come in threes, sevens and 11’s. | 币值有三元 七元和十一元 |
| [11:44] | Those are Burt’s lucky numbers. | 这都是伯特的幸运数字 |
| [11:46] | 回击乔希的羞辱 去死吧 你饭做得有吉米好吗 你骂我的话都会应在你自己身上 | |
| [11:49] | No… | 不 |
| [11:51] | you are. | 你才是呢 |
| [11:53] | Oh, that’s good. | 太棒了 |
| [11:55] | Jimmy! Jimmy, help! | 吉米 吉米 救命啊 |
| [12:01] | Oh! I’ll get you! | 我来救你了 |
| [12:05] | Oh, my god! | 天啊 |
| [12:09] | Hey, Frank! Stop! | 弗兰克 停下 |
| [12:12] | Frank! Stop! | 弗兰克 停下 |
| [12:25] | Oh, my god. | 天啊 |
| [12:27] | Ha! Classic! | 经典啊 |
| [12:29] | Congratulations, Jimmy. | 恭喜啊 吉米 |
| [12:31] | You’re about to go from being | 你马上就要从 |
| [12:32] | the biggest idiot in the store | 本超市最大傻瓜 |
| [12:34] | to the biggest on the Internet. | 荣升至全网最大傻瓜了 |
| [12:36] | No, you are! | 不 你才是呢 |
| [12:39] | Well done, James. You’re a hero. | 干得好 詹姆斯 你是个英雄 |
| [12:41] | If you hadn’t caught the dangling Sabrina, | 如果你没有抓住吊在空中的塞布丽娜 |
| [12:43] | she may have… broken a log. | 她可能会摔断”嘴” |
| [12:46] | Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. | 不对头啊 |
| [12:48] | Oh. A leg. | 是腿 |
| [12:50] | Or… | 甚至… |
| [12:51] | cut off her head? | 可能断头 |
| [12:52] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [12:54] | You guys faked this? | 这都是你们演的吗 |
| [12:55] | Bet that’s not the only thing she has to fake. | 想必她要伪造的还不止这些吧 |
| [13:01] | Sorry, I thought Josh was still here. | 抱歉 我以为乔希还在呢 |
| [13:05] | Well, I’m off to my mani-pedi. | 我要去做手指甲和脚趾甲啦 |
| [13:08] | Can you spot me a few Burt bucks? | 能借我一点伯特币吗 |
| [13:10] | No. I spent my last ones on a crochet lesson | 不行啊 我最后一点也全花在 |
| [13:12] | from Old Lady Stevens, | 斯蒂芬老太太的针织课上了 |
| [13:13] | so I can make this toilet seat cozy. | 这样我就能给马桶织个舒服的垫子了 |
| [13:15] | that’s gonna be great in winter, | 冬天的时候肯定很爽 |
| [13:17] | but if you’re out of Burt Bucks | 如果你没有伯特币了 |
| [13:18] | and I’m out of Burt Bucks, then we got a problem. | 我也没有伯特币了 那就麻烦了 |
| [13:20] | I guess you’re just gonna have to mow more lawns | 那你就得修剪更多的草坪 |
| [13:22] | and I’m gonna have to clean more houses. | 我也不得不去给更多人家干活 |
| [13:24] | But my mani-pedi’s today. | 可我今天想去修手修脚啊 |
| [13:26] | I’ve got so many paper cuts from handling all those Burt Bucks, | 我的手裁伯特币裁得好辛苦 |
| [13:29] | I’m getting a hot paraffin wax dip. | 我要给手打蜡呢 |
| [13:31] | I can’t miss that, Virginia, I just can’t. | 绝不能错过了 维吉妮亚 不能 |
| [13:33] | Doesn’t seem fair. If there’s anyone | 太不公平了 如果说这世上有谁 |
| [13:36] | who should never run out of Burt Bucks, it’s Burt. | 可以拥有源源不断的伯特币 那就该是你伯特 |
| [13:39] | There’s got to be a way | 肯定有办法 |
| [13:40] | we can bail ourselves out of this. | 让我们摆脱困境 |
| [13:42] | What if we just print ourselves some extra Burt Bucks? | 我们可不可以直接多印一些伯特币呢 |
| [13:45] | I mean, that’s good for everyone, | 这对大家都好啊 |
| [13:47] | because the more we spend, | 因为我们花得越多 |
| [13:48] | the more everyone else will have to spend. | 别的人也能花得更多 |
| [13:50] | I’m no Warren Buffet, | 我不是股神巴菲特 |
| [13:52] | but I bet that’s just the | 但我敢说 |
| [13:53] | thing to stimulate our bartering economy. | 这能刺激我们以物换物经济 |
| [13:56] | Reading those money magazines while you’re on the can | 在别人家豪宅的厕所里干活儿时 |
| [13:57] | in the fancy houses you clean is really paying off. | 读的那些金融杂志总算有用武之地了 |
| [14:06] | *I’ve got the brains* | *我聪明绝顶* |
| [14:07] | *And you’ve got the looks* | *你容貌倾城* |
| [14:10] | *Let’s make lots of money* | *我们可以大赚特赚* |
| [14:14] | *You’ve got the brawn* | *你孔武有力* |
| [14:16] | *I’ve got the brains* | *我思维敏捷* |
| [14:18] | *Let’s make lots of* | *我们可以大赚特赚* |
| [14:22] | *I’ve had enough of scheming* | *阴谋诡计交给我* |
| [14:24] | *And messing around with jerks* | *混天魔王就是我* |
| [14:26] | *My car is parked outside* | *豪车就在门外* |
| [14:27] | *I’m afraid it doesn’t work* | *只怕如今事与愿违* |
| [14:30] | *I’m looking for a partner* | *我苦苦寻觅伴侣* |
| [14:32] | *Someone who gets things fixed* | *一个无所不能的高手* |
| [14:34] | *Ask yourself this question* | *何不扪心自问* |
| [14:36] | *Do you want to be rich* | *你想不想发大财* |
| [14:40] | *Let’s…I’ve got the brains* | *让我们联手 我聪明绝顶* |
| [14:42] | *Make…Youe e got the looks* | *赚大钱 你容貌倾城* |
| [14:44] | *Let’s make lots of money* | *让我们大赚特赚* |
| [14:48] | *Let’s…You’ve got the brawn* | *让我们联手 你孔武有力* |
| [14:50] | *Make…I’ve got the brain* | *赚大钱 我才思敏捷* |
| [14:52] | *Let’s make lots of money…* | *就让我们 大赚特赚* |
| [14:57] | Oil change is done. | 机油已经换好了 |
| [15:00] | Change it again! | 再换一次吧 |
| [15:06] | That was amazing. | 太爽了 |
| [15:07] | Yeah. Now that we’ve made sweet love on paper money, | 是啊 我们在纸钱堆里大干了一场 |
| [15:11] | it’s gonna be really hard to go back to coins. | 要用回硬币就有难度了 |
| [15:17] | I can’t believe this. | 简直难以置信 |
| [15:19] | I’m all over the Internet. I’ve got 58 views, | 我在网上火了 都有58个人看过了 |
| [15:21] | and every time I check it, it gets higher. | 我每看一次 点击率就增加一次 |
| [15:23] | Look at this! 59! | 看啊 59个人看过了 |
| [15:25] | How many times have you checked it? | 你看了多少遍了 |
| [15:26] | I don’t know, 50, 55. | 不知道 五十次吧 还是五十五 |
| [15:31] | I don’t want to be dramatic, about this, but… | 我不想小题大做 但… |
| [15:34] | sometimes I wish you had just let me die in that first aid class. | 你还不如让我死在急救课上算了 |
| [15:38] | Jimmy, look… | 吉米 听着 |
| [15:40] | What was that? | 怎么回事 |
| [15:41] | I think there’s somebody in the garage. | 我觉得是有人进了储藏室 |
| [15:43] | Really? Your little stunt in the grocery store wasn’t enough? | 是吗 在超市里的那场戏还不够吗 |
| [15:52] | – Oh, come on. – No. | -得了 -不是的 |
| [15:54] | A masked burglar? I mean, what… what is this, | 蒙面的歹徒 搞什么啊 |
| [15:56] | – Scooby-Doo? – Jimmy, I… | -史酷比[卡通狗]吗 -吉米 我… |
| [15:59] | Josh? | 乔希 |
| [16:00] | How could you hire the guy who makes the most fun of me | 你怎么能雇一个最爱取笑我的人 |
| [16:03] | to make me feel even worse about myself? | 来让我更加无地自容 |
| [16:05] | I did not hire him. I think he’s actually trying to rob us. | 我没雇他 他应该是真的来抢劫的 |
| [16:08] | Oh, yeah, like I’m supposed to believe that this is real. | 是嘛 我真得信了 |
| [16:13] | Jimmy! | 吉米 |
| [16:28] | Why does this keep happening? | 怎么老发生这种事 |
| [16:36] | You… should be ashamed. | 你应该感到羞愧 |
| [16:38] | What would your brothers at SEAL Team Six | 你海豹突击六队的兄弟 |
| [16:40] | have to say about this? | 会怎么说 |
| [16:42] | Probably, “Who’s Josh?” | 可能会说”乔希是谁” |
| [16:43] | Because I was obviously lying about that. | 因为我之前明显是在撒谎 |
| [16:47] | I was in prison, you idiots. | 我刚从监狱出来 笨蛋 |
| [16:49] | So you just got out of prison | 你刚从监狱出来 |
| [16:50] | and you’re already trying to rob us? | 就打算抢劫我们 |
| [16:52] | Big house, tiny wife, wimpy husband– | 大房子 弱娇妻 蠢老公 |
| [16:55] | it’s what every home invader dreams of. | 入室窃贼的理想对象啊 |
| [16:56] | Oh, great. Now the police and everyone in town | 太好了 现在警察和全镇人 |
| [16:59] | are gonna know that you saved me one more time. | 都要知道你又救了我一次 |
| [17:02] | I’m never gonna be able to live this down. | 这镇子我住不下去了 |
| [17:04] | Jimmy, we could just tell everybody | 吉米 就告诉大家 |
| [17:05] | that you saved me, okay? Who’s gonna know? | 是你救了我 行吧 谁知道啊 |
| [17:07] | – I’ll know. – I’ll know, too. | -我知道 -我也知道 |
| [17:10] | You know what? Maybe a little duct tape | 知道吗 给你来点胶带 |
| [17:13] | is gonna shut you up… | 你就能消停 |
| [17:14] | in about… | 马上… |
| [17:30] | Jimmy, wha… what is this? | 吉米 这是什么 |
| [17:32] | Oh, those? Uh… that’s… | 那个啊 那个 |
| [17:34] | that’s nothing. I’ll-I’ll get those. | 什么都不是 给我 |
| [17:36] | Wait, but these are all addressed to me– why haven’t I seen them? | 等等 都是寄给我的 我怎么从来没见过 |
| [17:38] | Maybe Hope put them in here– you know that she likes | 可能是喜旺放在这的 你知道的 |
| [17:40] | to play mailman and hoarder. | 她喜欢扮邮递员 喜欢囤东西 |
| [17:42] | It’s more of those postcards from my mom. | 大多是我妈寄来的明信片 |
| [17:46] | What are they doing out here? | 怎么会在这 |
| [17:47] | I always, um, hide them in here before you see them, | 我都会在你看到之前 就把明信片藏在这 |
| [17:50] | because I know how much they upset you. | 因为我知道你看了会难过 |
| [17:54] | I’m sorry. | 我错了 |
| [18:01] | What was that for? | 这是什么意思 |
| [18:02] | Because you committed | 奖励你为了让我不难过 |
| [18:03] | a federal crime to protect my feelings. | 而犯下的联邦罪行 |
| [18:07] | Oh, Jimmy, don’t you see? | 吉米 你还不明白吗 |
| [18:10] | I may have saved you a couple times, but… | 可能我是救过你几次 但 |
| [18:13] | you save me every day. | 你每天都在救我 |
| [18:19] | I miss my prison husband. | 我想念狱中的老公了 |
| [18:22] | – What? – Nothin’. | -啥 -没啥 |
| [18:26] | Burt, we’ve done it! | 伯特 搞定 |
| [18:29] | We are livin’ the good life. | 咱的生活水平倍儿高啊 |
| [18:31] | And even though I haven’t eaten anything but lobster, | 虽然这三天除了龙虾 黄油和枫糖浆 |
| [18:32] | butter and maple syrup for the last three days, | 我啥也没吃过 |
| [18:34] | I have never felt better. | 但感觉前所未有的爽 |
| [18:35] | You know, I was thinking, | 我在想 |
| [18:38] | while lobster is pretty damn good, | 龙虾确实不错 |
| [18:40] | what does Tracetown have that Natesville doesn’t? | 但还有啥是追踪镇有 而纳什维尔镇没有的 |
| [18:42] | Reading level of a third grade country. | 第三世界国家的阅读能力 |
| [18:44] | No, something we don’t have: delicious ribs. | 不 我是说我们没有的东西 比如排骨 |
| [18:48] | Mmm. It’s time to expand our system, | 咱们应该扩大系统 |
| [18:50] | bring other towns in. | 把其他镇也拉进来 |
| [18:51] | Which would mean more goods and services. | 这样就有更多的商品和服务 |
| [18:53] | And not just ribs. | 不仅有排骨 |
| [18:55] | We could get pies. | 还有馅饼 |
| [18:57] | Or a dermatologist. | 或者皮肤科医生 |
| [19:00] | A guy who makes keys. | 做钥匙的工匠 |
| [19:03] | Hey, Chances. | 吉斯先生和吉斯夫人好 |
| [19:04] | Hey, Tyler. Lookin’ sharp! | 泰勒 很潮嘛 |
| [19:07] | Pour yourself a glass of maple syrup. | 来杯枫糖浆吧 |
| [19:08] | Oh, I’m good. Uh, let me ask you, | 不用了 问一下 |
| [19:11] | you didn’t print up any extra Burt Bucks, did you? | 你们是不是印了额外的伯特币 |
| [19:14] | We’re not saying we did, | 我们才不会承认 |
| [19:16] | but if we did… why would that be a problem? | 但如果我们承认 有问题吗 |
| [19:20] | I had a feeling. | 我就知道 |
| [19:21] | You flooded the market. | 市场货币贬值了 |
| [19:22] | You’re welcome. | 不用谢 |
| [19:24] | It’s not good. I sold my last lobster for 4,000 Burt Bucks. | 这不是好事 我上一个龙虾卖了4000伯特币 |
| [19:28] | Didn’t you learn anything | 你们没有从 |
| [19:28] | from the hyper-inflation fiasco in Zimbabwe? | 津巴布韦的超级通货膨胀中得到教训吗 |
| [19:31] | We didn’t do it the Zim-bob-way, we did it our way. | 我们有自己的路子 跟津什么韦的路子不一样 |
| [19:35] | I’m sorry, guys, | 抱歉 两位 |
| [19:36] | Burt Bucks are worthless; I can’t accept them anymore. | 伯特币贬值 我不收伯特币了 |
| [19:41] | See you around. | 再见 |
| [19:43] | Well, that’s just one guy. It shouldn’t matter. | 就他一个人 不影响 |
| [19:46] | System’s too big– it can’t fail. | 系统太大了 不可能崩溃 |
| [19:50] | But it wasn’t just one guy, | 但不只是一个人 |
| [19:51] | and it only took a couple hours for the entire system to fail. | 几个小时内整个系统就崩塌了 |
| [19:54] | Once lobster was out, big syrup fell, | 龙虾一没了 糖浆也不行了 |
| [19:57] | and then the entire crochet industry unraveled. | 接着整个编织业都垮了 |
| [19:59] | Pretty soon, my parents were left holding the bag… | 很快 我爹妈只能收拾这堆烂摊子 |
| [20:03] | or, in this case, several wheelbarrows filled with worthless paper. | 这次 还有几辆堆满废纸的独轮车 |
| [20:13] | I guess if you think about this purely in terms of wheelbarrows, | 如果单考虑独轮车方面 |
| [20:16] | we came out way ahead. | 我们还走在了前列 |
| [20:17] | And… nobody really got hurt. | 也没人真的遭受损失 |
| [20:19] | True. | 对 |
| [20:20] | Hello? | 有人吗 |
| [20:21] | Oh, hello! | 有人啊 |
| [20:23] | Mr. Lee? What are you doing here? | 李先生 你怎么来了 |
| [20:25] | Well, I need to get paid for the printing. | 管你们要印刷的钱 |
| [20:26] | No problem. Can I pay you in Burt Bucks? | 没问题 能用伯特币吗 |
| [20:30] | That’s very funny! | 很幽默嘛 |
| [20:31] | What can I do with all the play money? | 我拿这堆假钱能干嘛使 |
| [20:33] | I can’t pay rent, I can’t buy ink, | 不能付房租 也不能买油墨 |
| [20:35] | and it’s far too rough for toilet paper. | 当厕纸又太硬 |
| [20:39] | You need to take care of this. | 这账单你得付了 |
| [20:40] | Okay. | 行 |
| [20:46] | Interesting. Mm-hmm. | 有点意思 |
| [20:51] | Let me ask you this. | 劳驾问下 |
| [20:53] | Do you take wheelbarrows? | 独轮车能抵债吗 |
| [20:55] | Mom and Dad’s bartering system finally worked… | 爹妈的换物系统确实成真了 |
| [20:58] | just not how they planned. | 只跟他们预想的不一样 |
| [21:00] | They lived the high life for one week, | 他们享受了一个星期的奢华生活 |
| [21:02] | but it cost them 50,000 hours of landscaping and cleaning. | 但为此要做5万小时的修剪和清洗工 |
| [21:05] | Burt, when you’re done, | 伯特 这边修好到楼后去 |
| [21:06] | there are more hedges behind the building. | 那边还好多树篱要修呢 |
| [21:08] | Nice! | 真棒啊 |
| [21:12] | Well, on the bright side, this won’t be our problem forever. | 往好的想 这麻烦不会永远是咱的 |
| [21:16] | After we’re gone, our children and our children’s children | 等咱死了 咱们的孩子还有孩子的孩子 |
| [21:18] | will be paying off our debts to the Chinese printer. | 还要为我们给这个中国印刷工还债 |
| [21:20] | Well, it’s a good thing people | 政府由比我们聪明的人掌权 |
| [21:21] | smarter than us are running the real government. | 真是一大幸事 |