| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Okay, they are home. | 好了 他们回家了 |
| [00:06] | Now, everybody hide and wait for my cue to say surprise. | 大家都躲好 等着我的暗号一起说惊喜 |
| [00:09] | – Surprise! – Not now. | -惊喜 -不是现在 |
| [00:11] | Well, somebody said surprise. That was my cue. | 有人说了惊喜啊 那对我来说就是暗号 |
| [00:13] | They’re supposed to come in the door first. | 他们得先跨进门才行 |
| [00:15] | Then you say surprise. Just-just hide. | 然后你再说惊喜 快躲好 |
| [00:18] | My cardiologist said | 我的心脏科医生说 |
| [00:19] | no more of these parties, | 不能再搞这种派对了 |
| [00:20] | but I just love them so much. | 但我真的好爱哦 |
| [00:22] | Maybe just a smidge of nitro to take the edge off. | 或许我该先服点药防患 |
| [00:25] | My parents threw me a surprise party once. | 我爸妈也曾给我办过一次惊喜派对 |
| [00:28] | They said, “Surprise! | 他们说 惊喜哦 |
| [00:30] | We’re not your parents.” | 我们不是你亲爹娘 |
| [00:32] | Ooh, hey, Sabrina. | 塞布丽娜 |
| [00:33] | These are cool. Where’d you get them? | 这些T恤好酷哦 你从哪儿弄来的 |
| [00:35] | Oh, uh, Jimmy designed them. | 都是吉米设计的 |
| [00:37] | Not to call you a liar, | 我不是说你在撒谎 |
| [00:38] | but I’ve seen T-shirts before. | 但我知道真正的T恤是什么样的 |
| [00:40] | Everybody quiet! | 大家都安静 |
| [00:41] | They’re walking up the porch. | 他们已经走上门廊了 |
| [00:42] | Ooh, okay! | 好吧 |
| [00:45] | I can’t wait to see the look on their faces. | 我已经等不及看他们脸上的表情了 |
| [00:46] | They are gonna be blown away. | 他们一定会大吃一惊的 |
| [00:47] | What is with your family and surprise parties? | 你们家是怎么回事啊 就爱搞惊喜派对 |
| [00:49] | They’re awesome. | 因为很赞啊 |
| [00:50] | It’s like a prank, followed by a party | 就像先是恶作剧 紧接着又搞派对 |
| [00:52] | where one person is in a state of shock | 被吓的人还目瞪口呆呢 |
| [00:53] | while everyone else enjoys cake. | 其他人却已经在享用蛋糕了 |
| [00:55] | Trust me, this is gonna be my parents’ | 相信我 这一定是我父母 |
| [00:56] | best anniversary ever. | 有史以来最棒的结婚纪念日 |
| [00:58] | But your parents’ anniversary isn’t for three months. | 但你父母的结婚纪念日在三个月之后呢 |
| [01:00] | That’s why they’ll never see it coming. | 所以这才会出乎他们的意料啊 |
| [01:02] | Look, I’ve never been able to pull off | 听着 我之前从未成功为他们 |
| [01:02] | a surprise party on them before. | 举办过一次惊喜派对 |
| [01:04] | But this year, I got ’em. | 但今年 我一定可以做到 |
| [01:06] | But shocking people isn’t fun, it’s just mean. | 但让别人受惊可不好玩 那很下三滥的 |
| [01:08] | Imagine you are a little girl who’s afraid | 想象一下 如果你是一个不敢 |
| [01:10] | of using the school bathroom, | 去学校洗手间上厕所的女孩 |
| [01:11] | And then you finally arrive | 然后你终于回到家中 |
| [01:13] | at your surprise ninth birthday party. | 迎面而来的却是九岁生日惊喜派对 |
| [01:15] | And you’re so startled that you unclench. | 然后真的被吓尿了 |
| [01:18] | And you have an accident | 然后侧漏在了 |
| [01:19] | all over your mother’s brand-new polar bear rug. | 你妈妈那全新的北极熊皮地毯上 |
| [01:21] | They should be here by now. | 他们应该进屋了才对 |
| [01:25] | Hello? | 有人吗 |
| [01:29] | Where did…? | 他们去哪… |
| [01:30] | Surprise! | 惊喜 |
| [01:32] | Happy birthday, Jimmy. | 生日快乐哦 吉米 |
| [01:34] | Surprise party switcheroo. | 惊喜派对大逆转 |
| [01:35] | My birthday isn’t for eight months. | 但我的生日在八个月之后呢 |
| [01:37] | Exactly. | 对极了 |
| [01:39] | I’m just gonna… | 我得去… |
| [01:40] | Hey, where you going, Sabrina? | 你要去哪儿啊 塞布丽娜 |
| [01:41] | – Don’t be a party pooper. – Too late. | -别扫了大家的兴致啊 -太晚了 |
| [01:43] | It’s my ninth birthday all over again. | 简直是我的九岁生日噩梦重演 |
| [02:12] | I get it– ice scream? | 我懂了 冰”叫”凌吗 |
| [02:14] | Yeah, kind of a thinker. | 是啊 真够有想法的 |
| [02:16] | No, that’s “The Thinker.” | 不 那才是”思想者”雕像 |
| [02:21] | Wake up! | 醒醒哦 |
| [02:22] | Cock-a-doodle-doo. | 咯咯咯 咯咯咯 |
| [02:24] | Ohayou-gozaimasu, Mr. Morikawa. | 早上好 森川先生 |
| [02:27] | Time to check out. | 该退房啦 |
| [02:29] | Why is there a man in my deli case? | 为什么有个男人躺在我的熟食橱柜里 |
| [02:31] | Actually it’s my deli case, and for another five minutes | 那是我的熟食橱柜 而且五分钟之内 |
| [02:34] | it is a Japanese commuter hotel. | 这仍然是个日式宾馆 |
| [02:36] | Okay, okay. Nobody panic. | 好吧 好吧 大家都别慌 |
| [02:38] | I’m going to call headquarters. | 我要打电话给总部 |
| [02:41] | Maxine Jackson speaking. | 你好 我是玛克辛·杰克逊 |
| [02:42] | Oh, sorry, wrong number. | 抱歉 我打错了 |
| [02:45] | I’m sure you’re very confused. | 我相信你一定很困惑吧 |
| [02:47] | But please join me in our media center | 不过请跟我一起去媒体中心吧 |
| [02:49] | where it will all be explained in your orientation video. | 一切都会通过一段视频解释得清清楚楚的 |
| [02:53] | Congratulations! | 恭喜恭喜 |
| [02:54] | Your business has just been purchased by Max Jax Industries! | 贵公司已经被玛杰实业收购啦 |
| [02:57] | And what do we do to profits? | 我们对待利润的态度是怎样的 |
| [03:00] | Maxinemize! | 最大”玛” |
| [03:01] | What do we do to profits? | 我们对待利润的态度是怎样的 |
| [03:03] | Maxinemize! Maxinemize! | 最大玛 最大玛 |
| [03:06] | I think this is a cult. | 我觉得这是个邪教组织 |
| [03:08] | Cults love prophets. | 邪教都喜欢先知[音同利润] |
| [03:10] | False prophets. | 假先知 |
| [03:12] | I think she’s kind of inspirational. | 我觉得她挺有煽动力的 |
| [03:13] | “Maxinemize” isn’t just a word I made up. | “最大玛”不仅是我独创的一个词 |
| [03:15] | “Maxinemize!” | 最大玛 |
| [03:16] | It’s a word I made up | 那既是我独创的一个词 |
| [03:18] | and a philosophy I made up. | 也是我独创的一套哲学 |
| [03:20] | Maxinemize! | 最大玛 |
| [03:22] | She bought a fantastic aquarium, | 她买了一个超赞的水族馆 |
| [03:24] | installed a kitchen, | 配备了一个厨房 |
| [03:25] | and at night it became… | 到了晚上就变成了… |
| [03:27] | the Sushiquarium. | 寿司馆 |
| [03:28] | And by taking a simple candle shop, | 通过收购一家小蜡烛店 |
| [03:30] | then adding the late night waxing salon, | 然后加入深夜蜜蜡脱毛的项目 |
| [03:33] | she doubled the profits of… Wax On, Wax Off. | 她成功将”蜡来蜡往”店的利润翻倍 |
| [03:37] | She built an indoor children’s play center | 她建造了一个室内的儿童玩耍中心 |
| [03:40] | that by day was filled with happy kids, | 白天里面都是玩得不亦乐乎的孩子 |
| [03:42] | and by night was leased to a biohazard research company. | 晚上却租给一个研究生物危害的公司 |
| [03:45] | And now… | 现在 |
| [03:46] | Germboree is only weeks away | “菌宝贝”中心再过几周 |
| [03:48] | from a vaccine for pinkeye. | 就能研制出针对红眼病的疫苗了 |
| [03:50] | Sometimes I think, | 有时候我会思考 |
| [03:52] | “What will I think of next?” | 接下来我会想到什么创意呢 |
| [03:53] | And then I think of it. | 然后我就想到了 |
| [03:56] | What will Max Jax Industries do for your business? | 玛杰实业接下来会为你的生意带来什么呢 |
| [04:00] | Any questions? | 有什么问题吗 |
| [04:02] | You can’t do all these things in a grocery store. | 你不能在一家杂货店里做这些事 |
| [04:04] | It’s unsanitary. | 那很不卫生的 |
| [04:05] | That’s why I need you people. | 所以我才需要你们这些人啊 |
| [04:07] | You all are the grocery experts. | 你们都是杂货店的专家 |
| [04:10] | And together, as a team, | 我们作为一支团队 |
| [04:12] | we can re-brand Howdy’s. | 可以重新塑造毫迪的品牌 |
| [04:19] | Yes, Enlightened Leader. | 太对了 英明的领袖 |
| [04:21] | We will follow your every word. | 我们会对你言听计从的 |
| [04:25] | Do you ever think of getting a real grill? | 你有想过弄一个真的烤架吗 |
| [04:27] | Are you kidding? | 你在开玩笑吗 |
| [04:28] | There’s years of flavor on this shopping cart. | 这个购物车上残留着多年来的风味呢 |
| [04:30] | How do you think we get that chicken taste in our burgers? | 不然你以为我们烤的汉堡上怎么会有鸡肉味的 |
| [04:32] | Hey, you guys got to see what Jimmy did. | 你们快看吉米的新作品 |
| [04:37] | It’s a cowboy hippo standing on top of Howdy’s. | 是个牛仔河马站在毫迪杂货店的屋顶上 |
| [04:40] | Yeah, and he’s lassoing savings. | 是啊 而且他在用绳索套取储蓄 |
| [04:42] | It’s a logo idea I made to show the new owner of Howdy’s. | 这是我为毫迪的新老板专门设计的商标 |
| [04:44] | Yeah, she asked us to brainstorm. | 是啊 她要求我们搞头脑风暴 |
| [04:46] | And I think she’s gonna be so blown away. | 我觉得她一定会深受震撼的 |
| [04:47] | No way. Bad idea. | 不可能 馊主意 |
| [04:49] | Terrible, terrible, terrible, bad idea. | 糟糕 可怕 稀烂的馊主意 |
| [04:51] | Why would you want to draw attention to yourself? | 为什么想把目光聚焦到你自己身上呢 |
| [04:53] | It’s like being the loudest turkey | 难道你不知道 |
| [04:54] | on the day before Thanksgiving. | 枪打出头鸟吗 |
| [04:56] | But Jimmy’s very talented. | 吉米真的很有天赋 |
| [04:57] | And I just think a little extra effort like this | 我觉得他要是能像这样再加把劲 |
| [04:59] | might help launch his art career. | 可以帮助他的艺术事业发展呢 |
| [05:00] | You know what happens when you do extra? | 你知道再加把劲的下场是什么吗 |
| [05:02] | Your client is like, “Hey, why’d you put fish in my pool?” | 客户会问 为什么在我的泳池里放了鱼 |
| [05:05] | And you’re like, “Because I thought | 你回答 因为我觉得 |
| [05:06] | it made it like the ocean.” | 这可以营造一种大海般的的氛围 |
| [05:07] | And they’re like, | 然后他们就说 |
| [05:08] | “Fish can’t breathe chlorinated water. | 鱼在含氯的水里是活不了的 |
| [05:10] | You’re fired, fish killer.” | 你被炒了 杀鱼的凶手 |
| [05:14] | That actually happened to someone I know. | 这是发生在我朋友身上的真事 |
| [05:16] | – He makes a lot of sense. – No, he doesn’t. | -他说的很有道理 -不 |
| [05:18] | You can’t live your life without taking risks. | 人的一生不可能什么风险都不冒 |
| [05:21] | Sometimes you just got to jump in | 有时候就得冒点险 |
| [05:22] | and marry the grocery bagger | 义无反顾地嫁给一个超市装袋工 |
| [05:23] | with the serial killer’s baby. | 成为连环杀手女儿的继母 |
| [05:25] | That happened to somebody I know. | 这也是发生在我朋友身上的真事 |
| [05:26] | That’s all good and well, Sabrina, | 你说得没错 塞布丽娜 |
| [05:28] | but you don’t understand. | 但你不懂 |
| [05:30] | People who grow up rich can afford to make mistakes. | 富二代承担得起冒险犯错的后果 |
| [05:32] | We can’t. | 但我们不行 |
| [05:33] | Trust me, when you’re a Chance, | 相信我 你现在是吉斯家的人了 |
| [05:35] | you only get one chance. | 你的吉运只有一次 |
| [05:36] | That’s why our name is “Chance” and not “Chances.” | 要不然咱咋不姓”吉斯们” 而姓”吉斯” |
| [05:53] | I think Maxine hates me. | 我觉得玛克辛讨厌我 |
| [05:55] | She won’t even make eye contact. | 她甚至不愿和我有视线接触 |
| [05:56] | Relax, Barney, this place couldn’t run without you. | 放轻松 巴尼 这地方没你不行 |
| [05:58] | I am ready. | 我好了 |
| [05:59] | Wow me to the max. | 让我开开眼吧 |
| [06:01] | No idea is a bad idea. | 没点子就是坏点子 |
| [06:04] | I was gonna say I had no idea. | 我本来想说 我没什么想法 |
| [06:06] | Then you said no idea is a bad idea. | 但你说 没想法就是坏想法 |
| [06:08] | Now I don’t know where I stand. | 所以我有点晕了 |
| [06:10] | Yes. | 请说 |
| [06:11] | Hey, what if we did an art show | 为何不搞一场艺术展 |
| [06:13] | with local artists? | 展出本土艺术家的作品 |
| [06:13] | We could feature our own Jimmy Chance. | 可以展示一下我们这位吉米·吉斯的作品 |
| [06:16] | Art show, hmm… | 艺术展 |
| [06:18] | grocery gallery– you know what? I like that. | 杂货画廊展 我喜欢这个主意 |
| [06:21] | As long as the artist is top notch. | 不过这位艺术家可得是拔尖儿的哦 |
| [06:23] | – All right. – Top notch? | -好啊 -拔尖儿的 |
| [06:24] | My art is barely middle notch. | 我的画连中不溜都算不上 |
| [06:26] | Jimmy, you are an amazing artist. | 吉米 你是个出色的画家 |
| [06:28] | And it’s time that everyone else saw what I already know. | 现在应该让所有人都和我一样看到你的天赋了 |
| [06:31] | Besides, what’s the worst that can happen? | 再说了 这能出什么事儿呢 |
| [06:34] | M-Maybe we could turn this place | 我们是不是可以把这个地方 |
| [06:35] | into a stand-up comedy club. | 改造成脱口秀演艺馆 |
| [06:38] | You know, I-I happen to do a kind | 内什么 我本人碰巧就会 |
| [06:39] | of a funny impression of Barney Fife. | 模仿一点巴尼·菲的段子 |
| [06:39] | 著名喜剧角色 以下为他的经典台词 | |
| [06:42] | Now, Andy! | 安迪 听着 |
| [06:43] | The first sign of produce going bad, | 东西一开始有变坏的迹象 |
| [06:45] | you’ve got to nip it! | 你就要阻止它 |
| [06:47] | Nip it in the bud. | 必须扼杀在萌芽时期 |
| [06:49] | You’re fired. | 你被炒了 |
| [06:51] | Wait… | 等等 |
| [06:52] | Well, now wait just one cotton-picking minute! | 你这是逗我玩吗 |
| [06:58] | Hey! How’s it going? | 怎么样了 |
| [07:00] | It’s tough. | 难于上青天 |
| [07:01] | I haven’t found that thing. | 我还没找到灵感 |
| [07:02] | You know, that muse thing. | 缪斯女神还没降临 |
| [07:05] | What about me? | 我做你的女神如何 |
| [07:06] | I can be your muse. | 我可以当你的缪斯女神 |
| [07:07] | Cards on the table. | 我直说了吧 |
| [07:08] | I’m not entirely clear on what a muse is or does. | 我都不知道缪斯是什么东西 能干啥 |
| [07:11] | I… ooh… | 我… |
| [07:12] | Hi, just dropped by | 好啊 我们顺路来看看 |
| [07:14] | to see how our little Andy Narwhal is doing. | 我们的安迪·纳霍尔创作的怎么样了 |
| [07:17] | Yeah, I’m doing great. | 挺好的 |
| [07:18] | I just have to put everything | 就是需要集中精力 |
| [07:19] | I got into these paintings. | 发挥所有的才能去画画 |
| [07:22] | I know you will, it’s really… | 我知道你能行的… |
| [07:23] | What…? | 干啥 |
| [07:27] | Mm-hmm, mmm, good. | 真好 真好 |
| [07:28] | Glad to see it. | 你这样我们就放心了 |
| [07:32] | What the hell is going on? | 你们搞什么鬼 |
| [07:33] | That’s what we’d like to know. | 你在搞什么鬼 |
| [07:34] | Why are you encouraging Jimmy to stick his neck out? | 你干嘛要怂恿吉米强出头 |
| [07:36] | You want him to end up like Barney? | 你想让他落得和巴尼一样的下场吗 |
| [07:38] | Wait, you saw Barney? | 你们见到巴尼了 |
| [07:39] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [07:39] | How’s he doing? | 他怎么样了 |
| [07:41] | He’s hitting the sauce pretty hard. | 他”酱瘾”又犯了 |
| [07:43] | Come on, Barney. | 别这样 巴尼 |
| [07:45] | I’m sure there are lots of other grocery jobs out there for you. | 肯定有很多杂货店需要你的 |
| [07:47] | No, Virginia. | 不 维吉妮亚 |
| [07:49] | Like most of the products on Howdy’s shelves, | 正如大部分毫迪超市货架上的商品一样 |
| [07:51] | I’m way past my expiration date. | 我早就过了保质期了 |
| [07:54] | So maybe it’s time to move out of the grocery business. | 也许是时候转行干别的了 |
| [07:56] | You must have other talents. | 你肯定还有许多别的才能 |
| [07:58] | Oh, sure. | 当然了 |
| [07:59] | I put myself through VCR repair school | 我会安装投币电话 |
| [08:01] | by installing pay phones. | 可以去蓝翔技工学校 |
| [08:02] | I guess I could reach out to my MySpace contacts. | 我还可以联系我的网友们 |
| [08:05] | Or ask my uncle about working in his typewriter factory. | 或者去我叔叔的打字机工厂打工 |
| [08:12] | Having an art show is not gonna get Jimmy fired. | 艺术展不会让吉米丢了饭碗的 |
| [08:14] | This isn’t just about Jimmy getting fired. | 这跟工作没关系 |
| [08:16] | It’s much bigger than that. | 比丢了工作要严重得多 |
| [08:18] | This is about destroying Jimmy’s dream. | 这会毁了吉米的梦想的 |
| [08:20] | – What? – Jimmy used to have a lot of dreams. | -什么 -吉米也曾是梦想满满的大好青年 |
| [08:22] | Unfortunately our son is a wonderful dreamer… | 可悲的是 我们的儿子只是个伟大的梦想家 |
| [08:25] | but a terrible achiever. | 但也是个糟糕的力行者 |
| [08:28] | The first thing on Jimmy’s list | 吉米的第一个梦想 |
| [08:29] | was policeman. | 就是成为扶弱济贫的警察 |
| [08:31] | Hey, stop picking on him. | 别找这孩子的麻烦 |
| [08:32] | Yeah, pick on him. | 是啊 找他的去 |
| [08:47] | Or when Jimmy saw that sitcom about the funny comedian | 后来吉米看了那部关于单口相声演员的情景喜剧 |
| [08:49] | and decided he wanted to be a stand-up comic. | 于是决定当一个脱口秀演员 |
| [08:51] | We told him, “Why not?” | 我们也鼓励他大胆去干 |
| [08:53] | What’s the deal with chicken-fried steak? | 鸡排算个什么事儿啊 |
| [08:55] | Is it chicken or is it steak? | 到底是鸡呢 还是排啊 |
| [08:57] | What’s the deal with you sucking? | 你的段子这么烂算个什么事啊 |
| [09:07] | And when Jimmy dreamt of being a fashion designer, | 后来吉米又想进入时尚界 |
| [09:09] | we encouraged him | 我们还鼓励他 |
| [09:10] | to try making his own pants for school. | 穿着自己设计的裤子去学校 |
| [09:31] | And after the disappearing pants, | 和那条裤子一起消失的是他的自尊 |
| [09:32] | he decided that he’d never show his face at school again. | 从此他决定上学时不以真面目示人 |
| [09:35] | Which crushed all our dreams. | 他的所有梦想也随之破灭 |
| [09:40] | Being an artist is the last dream Jimmy has. | 成为艺术家是他最后的梦想了 |
| [09:42] | 赛车手 空中杂技师 谷物试吃员 脱口秀演员 玩偶师 霹雳舞蹈家 时尚设计师 艺术家 | |
| [09:42] | What do you think’s gonna happen | 如果没人喜欢他的画 |
| [09:43] | when nobody likes his art? | 到时候怎么收场 |
| [09:44] | You guys, people are gonna really like Jimmy’s work. | 人们会喜欢他的画的 |
| [09:46] | He’s very talented. | 他真的很有天赋 |
| [09:47] | Ah, hey, guys! | 伙计们 |
| [09:49] | I think I figured out what I’m gonna paint. | 我已经想出要画些什么了 |
| [09:51] | People have seen happy clowns and sad clowns, | 人人都看过快乐的小丑 也看过悲伤的小丑 |
| [09:54] | but they have never seen hungry clowns. | 但他们从没见过饥饿的小丑 |
| [09:58] | That’s a great idea, honey. | 这个想法太赞了 亲爱的 |
| [09:59] | You get to that. | 就这么干 |
| [10:02] | Okay, so… | 下面听我安排 |
| [10:03] | while you try to get this art show canceled, | 你要全力扼杀这场艺术展 |
| [10:05] | we’re gonna dig up some dirt on Maxine | 我们去挖点玛克辛的料 |
| [10:06] | in case we need to blackmail her. | 必要的时候我们好敲诈她 |
| [10:07] | Let’s just slow down a little bit. | 咱先别急 |
| [10:09] | Can we just at least give Jimmy a chance? | 就不能给吉米个机会吗 |
| [10:11] | You can support Jimmy reaching his dream all you want. | 你想怎么支持吉米实现梦想我们都没意见 |
| [10:15] | But Burt and I are never gonna let him do that without a net. | 但要是不保险 伯特跟我绝不会让他只身犯险 |
| [10:18] | We made that mistake once. | 我们犯过一次错 |
| [10:19] | When his dream was to be a trapeze artist. | 那时候他的梦想是做空中杂技师 |
| [10:24] | Maxine, you’re a beautiful, | 玛克辛 你如此美丽 |
| [10:26] | strong, intelligent woman. | 坚强又聪慧 |
| [10:28] | But before anyone else can love you, | 但要是想让别人都爱上你 |
| [10:31] | you need to love you. | 你要先爱自己 |
| [10:35] | Namaste. | 双手合十 |
| [10:37] | Namaste… | 双手合十 |
| [10:40] | What the hell was that? | 刚刚那是搞什么鬼 |
| [10:41] | I spent years in psychotherapy | 我钻研心理疗法这么多年 |
| [10:43] | without much progress. | 都没什么进展 |
| [10:44] | So I decided to start treating myself. | 所以我决定开始自我治疗 |
| [10:46] | And the results have been outstanding. | 且成效显著 |
| [10:49] | Plus, I get to bill my insurance company | 另外 我要去给保险公司下账单 |
| [10:51] | $75 an hour, | 每小时75刀 |
| [10:52] | which certainly takes the sting out of some of the harsh truths | 这让我更容易接受那些我必须面对的 |
| [10:55] | I have to tell myself. | 残酷的事实 |
| [10:56] | Now, what can I do for you? | 好 找我什么事 |
| [10:57] | Why did you fire Barney? That was not part of the plan. | 为什么要开除巴尼 计划里没这部分 |
| [11:00] | Look, and now Burt and Virginia are freaking out | 现在伯特跟维吉妮亚跟疯了似的 |
| [11:02] | and they’re looking for dirt on you. | 要挖你的料 |
| [11:03] | And if they find out that you’re my aunt, | 如果他们发现你是我阿姨 |
| [11:04] | everything is gonna be ruined. | 一切都完了 |
| [11:06] | Everything’s gonna be ruined for you. | 是你的一切都完了 |
| [11:07] | I will still be a very successful businesswoman | 我还是有轻微多重人格的 |
| [11:10] | with mild dissociative identity disorder. | 成功女商人 |
| [11:17] | Hey, did you get Maxine to cancel the art show yet? | 你说服玛克辛取消艺术展了吗 |
| [11:20] | No, not yet, but… | 还没 但是 |
| [11:21] | We figured. Don’t worry. We came prepared. | 预料之中 没事 我们有备而来 |
| [11:23] | I’m gonna do a slip-and-fall and start screaming. | 我假装滑到 然后大嚎 |
| [11:25] | When Maxine comes out of her office, | 等玛克辛从办公室出来 |
| [11:27] | Burt’s gonna run in there | 伯特就冲进去 |
| [11:28] | and find something good for blackmail. | 找点的敲诈用的猛料 |
| [11:29] | Unless she’s screaming the word “Dr. Bartle’s.” | 除非她大叫”巴图医生” |
| [11:31] | That’s the code word for me to call a doctor | 这是我们的暗号 意思是叫医生来 |
| [11:33] | and bring her a wine cooler. | 再给她带一瓶果酒 |
| [11:35] | Sounds great. | 计划不错 |
| [11:36] | I mean, the quicker we fix this the better. | 咱得速战速决 |
| [11:38] | ‘Cause now she’s got me putting together | 因为她还叫我准备 |
| [11:39] | some ridiculous grandmother/ granddaughter pageant. | 什么祖孙表演 真是蠢死了 |
| [11:41] | – What? – Yeah, as part of this whole “Maxinemizing” thing, | -什么 -是啊 是玛克辛整个活动的一部分 |
| [11:45] | we’re putting on | 我们要为 |
| [11:46] | a grandmother/ granddaughter pageant for the art show. | 艺术展准备祖孙表演 |
| [11:48] | You’re kidding me. | 真的假的 |
| [11:48] | I’ve always wanted to be a part grandmother/granddaughter pageant. | 我一直都想参加祖孙表演 |
| [11:51] | Really? I did not know that. | 真的吗 以前都不知道 |
| [11:53] | Come on, Virginia, focus. We’re trying | 维吉妮亚 别走神 |
| [11:55] | to protect our son, so the last dream he has doesn’t die. | 我们要保护儿子的最后一个梦想呢 |
| [11:58] | He’s not the only one with dreams, Burt. | 又不是只有他才有梦想 伯特 |
| [12:00] | Hope’s always wanted to be in a pageant with me. | 喜旺一直都想跟我一起参加表演 |
| [12:03] | I can see it in her eyes. | 我看得出她渴望的眼神 |
| [12:05] | I would be a heartless, unfeeling grandmother | 如果我现在不把她从幼儿园拖出来 |
| [12:08] | if I didn’t pull her out of preschool right now | 准备彩排 |
| [12:10] | and start working on our routine. | 那我这个奶奶就太冷酷无情了 |
| [12:20] | What’s wrong? | 怎么了 |
| [12:21] | I don’t know if I have it in me to be a great artist. | 我不知道自己是否有天赋成为伟大的艺术家 |
| [12:24] | Look, you’ve been working too hard, okay? | 你把自己逼得太紧了 |
| [12:26] | Why don’t you take a break? | 不如休息一下吧 |
| [12:28] | I got Chinese food, hmm? | 我买了中餐 |
| [12:31] | Have a fortune cookie. | 来个幸运饼干 |
| [12:37] | “Do what you do best. | 做你最擅长的事 |
| [12:39] | “If you’re good at sketching hippos, sketch hippos. | 如果你擅长画河马 那就画河马 |
| [12:42] | “Everyone loves… | 人人都喜欢 |
| [12:44] | “hippos doing people things, like driving a jeep | 河马像人类一样 比如开吉普车 |
| [12:47] | or going to the beach.” | 或者去海边 |
| [12:50] | Never had a double-sider before. | 两面都有字 还从没见过这样的 |
| [12:52] | Jimmy, I-I think that that fortune could be a real sign. | 吉米 我觉得这可能是个征兆 |
| [12:57] | You’re right. | 说得对啊 |
| [12:59] | I did sketch hippos. | 我确实画了河马 |
| [13:01] | And they were doing people things. | 它们还真是在做人类的事情 |
| [13:04] | Maybe I should do that for the show. | 也许我就该拿这个参加展览 |
| [13:05] | I should be doing my drawings. | 我应该去画画 |
| [13:07] | Jimmy, this is an incredible idea | 吉米 这个想法太赞了 |
| [13:09] | that you just came up with all by yourself. | 而且都是你自己想出来的 |
| [13:12] | Next, I will sing my ABCs. | 下面 我要给大家带来ABC之歌 |
| [13:15] | But it’s a little dry up here, | 但我略微有点口干 |
| [13:17] | so first, let me just wet my whistle. | 所以先来润润喉咙 |
| [13:19] | A-b-c-d-e-f-g A-b-c-d-e-f-g | |
| [13:22] | H-I-j-k H-I-j-k | |
| [13:24] | L-m-n-o-p L-m-n-o-p… | |
| [13:26] | Maw Maw, I already told you, | 曾奶奶 我跟你说了 |
| [13:28] | I’m doing the pageant with Hope. | 是我带喜旺参加表演 |
| [13:29] | I’m being replaced with a younger model? | 我被嫩模顶替了 |
| [13:32] | Now I know how my old hip felt. | 现在我知道我这老屁屁的感受了 |
| [13:34] | I saw your lips move. | 我看到你喷口水了 |
| [13:38] | Barney. | 巴尼 |
| [13:39] | So you’re kind of living here now. | 你现在就住这儿了是嘛 |
| [13:42] | The buses keep coming, Burt. | 巴士一辆接一辆地来 伯特 |
| [13:44] | And every time, I don’t know whether I should step on it | 每一次我都在犹豫 是该上车 |
| [13:47] | or step in front of it. | 还是上路 |
| [13:49] | That’s interesting. | 真有意思 |
| [13:50] | So, listen, I’m thinking about blackmailing Maxine. | 听着 我打算敲诈玛克辛 |
| [13:54] | I could really use somebody who knows the layout of Howdy’s. | 我需要一个十分了解毫迪超市陈设的人 |
| [13:57] | Burt, blackmail is against everything I believe in. | 伯特 敲诈这种事有违我的道德情操 |
| [14:01] | But chocolate sauce has a way of changing a man. | 但巧克力酱可以改变一个人 |
| [14:05] | Let’s do this. | 我入伙了 |
| [14:09] | Trust me, this will work. | 相信我 一定能成 |
| [14:39] | Hey, look, I think I got it. | 我应该拿到了 |
| [14:43] | There must be four kinds of antifungal cream in here. | 这里边应该有四种抗真菌软膏 |
| [14:45] | Let me see. | 我看看 |
| [14:47] | Here. | 给 |
| [14:49] | See it? | 看到了吗 |
| [14:51] | It’s right here. | 在这 |
| [14:55] | Next up, Virginia and Hope Chance. | 下面有请吉斯家的维吉尼亚和喜旺 |
| [14:57] | who call themselves “Dumb and Dummy.” | 艺名”大小哑巴” |
| [15:05] | Ladies and gentlemen, | 乡亲们 |
| [15:07] | I have come a long way to see you tonight, | 为了今晚与你们相会 我历经磨难 |
| [15:10] | but I haven’t come alone. | 但我不是只身前来 |
| [15:12] | Okay, Hope… What?! | 好了 喜旺 搞毛 |
| [15:15] | Let me do the act | 让我参加表演 |
| [15:16] | and I’ll tell you where the kid is. | 否则别想知道孩子去哪儿了 |
| [15:30] | Uiero decir, el nombre del chico en la primera base? | 吃葡萄要吐葡萄皮吗 |
| [15:33] | Quien. | 不要 |
| [15:34] | El nombre del chico la primera base. | 不吃葡萄要吐葡萄皮吗 |
| [15:37] | Quien. | 不要 |
| [15:37] | El nombre del chico la primera base para el San Luis. | 不吃葡萄要倒吐葡萄皮吗 |
| [15:41] | Quien. | 不要 |
| [15:42] | El nombre del muchacho la primera base! | 到底什么时候要吐葡萄皮 |
| [15:45] | En la primera base! | 什么时候都不吐 |
| [15:52] | Here you go. | 好了 |
| [15:54] | Good girl. | 好姑娘 |
| [15:55] | Maxine, you gotta let me do my routine again with Hope. | 玛克辛 你一定得让我跟喜旺再表演一次 |
| [16:00] | All right, but you’ll have to pay a separate entrance fee | 好吧 但你得另付入场费 |
| [16:02] | and agree to sweep the stage while you’re up there. | 并且同意上台后要清扫舞台 |
| [16:04] | Maxine. | 玛克辛 |
| [16:08] | Just the liar we were looking for! | 正是我们在找的骗子 |
| [16:10] | Barney and I found out the truth about you. | 巴尼和我已经发现了你的真面目 |
| [16:13] | Oh, I see. Someone finally figured out | 我明白了 终于有人发现了 |
| [16:16] | that I was Sabrina’s aunt. | 我是塞布丽娜的阿姨 |
| [16:17] | – Maxine’s your aunt? – Yes. | -玛克辛是你阿姨 -是啊 |
| [16:21] | I’m sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [16:22] | I just really wanted you to believe in your art | 我只是想让你对自己的画有信心 |
| [16:24] | and to put yourself out there. | 努力展示自己 |
| [16:26] | And I tried suggesting and I encouraged you. | 我试着启发你 还鼓励你 |
| [16:29] | And none of it worked, so I convinced my aunt | 但没一招管用 所以我就说服我阿姨 |
| [16:31] | that her next investment should be a grocery store. | 让她下一次投资杂货店 |
| [16:33] | And I invented this art show. | 于是我就可以捏造这次画展 |
| [16:34] | Which, honestly, now that I say out loud, | 说真的 既然我都大声说出来了 |
| [16:36] | does seem like kind of a big leap, | 似乎真是一次大飞跃 |
| [16:37] | and I probably could have gone about this a very different way. | 我本可以用不一样的办法做这这一切的 |
| [16:39] | But, you know, here we are. | 但是 就这样咯 |
| [16:41] | Hey, surprise! | 惊喜一下 |
| [16:44] | Anyway, then Virginia started snooping around, | 总之 后来维吉妮亚开始四处打探 |
| [16:46] | so I invented this grandmother/granddaughter | 所以我又捏造了祖孙表演的事 |
| [16:48] | pageant thing to distract her. | 来转移她的注意力 |
| [16:49] | So you’re saying you got pull with the judges? | 所以你是说你跟评委有关系喽 |
| [16:53] | You’re crazy. | 你真是疯了 |
| [16:55] | But I am so happy that you are. | 但我很高兴你如此疯狂 |
| [17:00] | You gave me the kick in the butt I needed. | 你给了我正需要的鞭策 |
| [17:02] | And I did it. | 而我做到了 |
| [17:07] | Okay, can we start the auction and actually make some money? | 我们可以开始拍卖 赚点钱了吗 |
| [17:10] | Auction? What auction? | 拍卖 什么拍卖 |
| [17:12] | Do you think that I would | 你还真以为 |
| [17:13] | actually do an art show and not try to make money on it? | 我会办个画展 而不考虑从中赚点钱吗 |
| [17:15] | Hey, Jimmy, don’t worry about it. | 吉米 别担心 |
| [17:17] | Honestly, your art is terrific, | 说真的 你的画真的非常棒 |
| [17:18] | and everybody’s gonna want to buy it. | 大家都会买的 |
| [17:20] | Nobody? Nobody? | 没人吗 没人吗 |
| [17:22] | I’m not gonna let Jimmy get embarrassed like this. | 我不能让吉米这么丢人现眼 |
| [17:25] | I’ll get the ball rolling. | 我来助他开张 |
| [17:28] | – Ten dollars! – Sold! | -十美元 -成交 |
| [17:30] | Sold for ten dollars. | 成交价十美元 |
| [17:33] | Well, that backfired. | 这下弄巧成拙了 |
| [17:36] | You got ten bucks I can borrow? | 我能跟你借十块钱吗 |
| [17:45] | Ah… Jimmy, cheer up. | 吉米 振作点 |
| [17:47] | Dreams are just a trick your brain plays on your heart. | 梦想只是你的大脑在捉弄你的心 |
| [17:50] | And you’ve got a heart that is very easily fooled. | 而你的心总是很容易被捉弄 |
| [17:53] | On the bright side, always feels good | 但从好的一面来看 把清单上最后一件事划掉 |
| [17:55] | to scratch the last thing off a list. | 通常都感觉很好呢 |
| [17:58] | Jimmy, I’m so sorry. | 吉米 我很抱歉 |
| [18:00] | I just wanted to make your dream come true. | 我只是想助你梦想成真 |
| [18:02] | Some dreams are better off as dreams. | 有些梦想还是只在梦里出现比较好 |
| [18:05] | Did you see that movie Inception? | 你看过《盗梦空间》吗 |
| [18:07] | It was someone’s dream to make that piece of crap. | 那就是某人的梦想造出来的垃圾 |
| [18:10] | You know, if I had never tried to be a real artist, | 如果我从未尝试成为一名真正的艺术家 |
| [18:14] | I could still pretend that someday it might happen. | 我就还可以假装这个梦想有一天能成真 |
| [18:18] | Hey, any chance those hippo drawings are still for sale? | 那些河马的画还卖吗 |
| [18:20] | My daughter was in the pageant and screamed | 我女儿参加了表演 |
| [18:22] | all the way home about wanting one of those hippo drawings. | 回家时一路上都嚷嚷着要买一幅河马画 |
| [18:24] | And if I spoil her, it makes her like me | 如果我宠着她 她会比爱我前妻 |
| [18:25] | way more than my ex-wife, so… how much? | 更爱我 所以多少钱 |
| [18:29] | I don’t know. I guess, like, seven… | 我不知道 大概是七… |
| [18:32] | – …ty… – …five | -十… -五… |
| [18:33] | …cents. Dollars? | 分 元 |
| [18:35] | Dollars. | 元 |
| [18:37] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [18:42] | I just sold my art. | 我的画卖出去了 |
| [18:44] | I just for real, like, sold my art! | 我的画真的有人买了 |
| [18:46] | Jimmy, I’m really proud of you. | 吉米 我真为你自豪 |
| [18:47] | Hey, my Danielle won’t stop talking about | 我们家丹妮尔一直在说你的河马画 |
| [18:50] | your hippo pictures. She’s nuts for them. How much? | 她简直为之发狂了 多少钱 |
| [18:53] | $500. | 五百块 |
| [18:55] | Or… a pageant trophy. | 或者用表演奖杯换 |
| [19:04] | I did it! I won! | 我做到了 我赢了 |
| [19:09] | I don’t know who to thank! | 我不知道该感谢谁 |
| [19:11] | Thank Sabrina. | 谢塞布丽娜吧 |
| [19:13] | I mean, she put this whole thing together. | 是她策划了这一切 |
| [19:15] | You believed in your husband so much | 你如此相信你的丈夫 |
| [19:18] | that you lied to the people you love | 甚至不惜向心爱的人撒谎 |
| [19:21] | and manipulated everyone around you | 并且用最复杂的办法 |
| [19:23] | in the most convoluted way possible. | 巧妙地调动了身边的人 |
| [19:25] | That’s just what you would have done. | 换做是你 也会这么做的 |
| [19:27] | I know! | 我知道 |
| [19:29] | Let’s go get Maw Maw out of that trunk | 咱们把妈妈从箱子里拉出来吧 |
| [19:30] | before she turns it into a Porta-Potti. | 免得箱子被她搞成便携式坐便器 |
| [19:42] | Now that this is all over, you can have your job back. | 既然这一切都结束了 你又可以工作了 |
| [19:45] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [19:46] | Oh, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [19:50] | But-But if this was all just a big ruse, | 但如果那都是演戏 |
| [19:52] | why did you fire me in the first place? | 你为什么要炒了我 |
| [19:54] | Because I wanted to see if you were the type of guy | 因为我想看看你是否 |
| [19:56] | who could stand up to me and fight for what he had. | 敢于直面我的淫威 为自己的权利斗争 |
| [19:58] | But you didn’t, not at all. | 但你不是 完全不是 |
| [20:00] | Which tells me you’re the perfect man for me to date. | 这表明你是约会的完美人选 |
| [20:04] | Well, I’ll have you know I stand up for myself plenty. | 我会让你知道 我是勇于维护自己权利的人 |
| [20:06] | Don’t make me fire you again. | 别逼我再次炒了你 |
| [20:08] | Whatever you say. | 都听你的 |
| [20:09] | There you go. | 好了 |
| [20:11] | If I die, it’ll be worth more. | 如果我死了 这可就更值钱啦 |
| [20:12] | Why’s the hippo in a dress? | 这只河马为什么穿裙子 |
| [20:15] | To be honest, I didn’t know | 说真的 因为我不知道 |
| [20:17] | what hippos had going on down there… | 河马在水底下是什么样的 |
| [20:20] | See, this, this is Margaret’s special party dress | 瞧 这是玛格丽特的特别派对礼服 |
| [20:23] | ’cause she was invited to the big dance. | 因为她受邀参加大型舞会 |
| [20:25] | See, the other animals, they took a vote, | 瞧 其他动物投票 |
| [20:27] | and they gave her this crown and this scepter. | 给了她这顶皇冠和这根权杖 |
| [20:29] | And that taught her that all girls, | 这让她知道 所有的姑娘 |
| [20:31] | no matter what size, color or gender they were born with, | 无论生来胖瘦 肤色和性别如何 |
| [20:34] | can, uh, be queen for one night. | 在某个夜晚 都能成为女王 |
| [20:39] | I love Margaret. | 我爱玛格丽特 |
| [20:44] | That was really cool. | 讲得不错嘛 |
| [20:45] | It was, like, all of a sudden, | 给人感觉就像突然间 |
| [20:47] | you made the picture just come to life. | 这画面栩栩如生地呈现在眼前 |
| [20:50] | It was just some dumb story. | 故事很蠢啦 |
| [20:52] | You should write stories for more of my pictures, | 你应该为我的画写故事 |
| [20:54] | or-or I could draw pictures to go along with your stories. | 或者 我可以为你的故事配画 |
| [20:58] | You mean, you want to write a book together? | 你是说你想跟我一起写本书 |
| [21:00] | Yeah. Why not? | 是啊 何不试试呢 |
| [21:02] | What if everybody hates it? | 如果没人喜欢呢 |
| [21:03] | Yeah, it is scary when you chase a dream, isn’t it? | 是啊 追逐梦想的时候还挺吓人的 不是吗 |
| [21:08] | You just did the take-a-risk switcheroo. | 你刚刚完成了一次冒险大逆转 |
| [21:14] | I hope I’m not too late for the swimsuit competition. | 希望我现在参加泳装大赛还不是太晚 |
| [21:20] | I’m going French. | 我走的是法式路线 |