| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | -lf you borrow my blender, return it. -Come on, we’re like Cain and Abel. | – 你如果借了我的果汁机的话，现在还我 – 拜�，我们是该隐和亚伯，好兄弟 |
| [00:08] | Yeah, you know, Cain slew Abel. | 对你知道,该隐把亚伯宰了 |
| [00:10] | No, he didn’t. They were in business together. | 不，他没有，他俩一起干活 |
| [00:13] | Dry wall or something. | 烘干墙壁之类的 |
| [00:14] | -Oh, no. -All right, then what was it? | – 喔，不是这样 – 不然是怎样 |
| [00:17] | Well, I think Abel worked hard all summer harvesting his crops… | 我记得亚伯整个夏天都很辛勤地收割作物 |
| [00:20] | …while Cain just played in the field. | 但该隐就只顾着在田里玩耍 |
| [00:23] | Then when winter came, Abel had all the nuts, Cain had no nuts. | 然后冬天来了，亚伯有充足的存粮 而该隐什么都没有 |
| [00:27] | So he killed him. | 于是该隐就把亚伯宰了 |
| [00:28] | The way I remember it, Cain, he was a successful doctor… | 我记得该隐他是个出色的医生 |
| [00:31] | …but when he took this special formula, he became Mr. Abel. | 当他吃了特别的配方后，于是他就变成了亚伯 |
| [00:36] | You broke my blender. | 你把我的果汁机弄坏了 |
| [00:37] | Yeah. Well, I was trying to make gravel and it just– | 是阿，我试着要磨碎些砂砾，然后… |
| [00:40] | -lt just didn’t work out. -I knew it. | – 失败了 – 我就知道 |
| [00:46] | Why were you making gravel? | 为什么你要磨砂砾 |
| [00:48] | Well, I like the sound it makes when you walk on it. | 我喜欢走在上面的时候它发出的声音 |
| [00:52] | This looks familiar. | 这看起来好眼熟 |
| [00:54] | Of course, it’s garbage. | 当然，这是垃圾 |
| [00:56] | No, no, no, no. These brown things. | 不，我说的是这些咖啡色的东西 |
| [00:58] | And the chairs. | 还有这些椅子 |
| [01:00] | Jerry, this is the set from the old Merv Griffin Show. | 杰瑞，这是老节目《莫夫・格里芬秀》的布景 |
| [01:03] | They must be throwing it out. | 他们一定是把它扔了 |
| [01:05] | This stuff belongs in the Smithsonian. | 这是史密森尼的东西 |
| [01:07] | Or at least in the dumpster behind the Smithsonian. | 或者是在史密森尼后面的垃圾车找到的 |
| [01:12] | Boy, one minute Elliott Gould is sitting on you… | 哎，想到埃利奥特・古尔德还坐在你身上 |
| [01:15] | …and the next thing you’re yesterday’s trash. | 一转眼，你已经是没人要的垃圾了 |
| [01:17] | Come on, get out of there. | 行了，离开那里 |
| [01:19] | Oh, no, you go ahead. I’m not finished taking this in. | 不，你走吧，我还要再多看它一会儿 |
| [01:23] | Jerry, look. | 杰瑞，你看 |
| [01:25] | Merv Griffin’s cigar. | 莫夫・格里芬抽过的雪茄 |
| [01:30] | You know, I spilled a yogurt smoothie in here two days ago. | 听着，我两天前在这里打翻了一杯优格冰沙 |
| [01:34] | Can’t smell anything, can you? | 闻不出来什么口味吧？ |
| [01:36] | Banana? | 是香蕉口味？ |
| [01:38] | Right. | 答对了 |
| [01:39] | George, watch out for those pigeons. | 小心那些鸽子，乔治 |
| [01:41] | Oh, they’ll get out of the way. You really smell banana? | 不要紧，他们会让开的，你真的闻得到香蕉味？ |
| [01:46] | Oh, my God. | 我的天阿 |
| [01:50] | So… | 那么… |
| [01:52] | …where we eating? | 我们要去哪吃？ |
| [01:57] | And it was his idea to put a sprig of parsley on the plate. | 把青海苔放上盘是他的主意 |
| [02:01] | You’re making this up. There was never a Joseph Garnish. | 你胡说，没有约瑟夫・甘尼斯这个人 |
| [02:06] | Oh, yeah. The toys. | 喔，是些玩具 |
| [02:08] | Where did you get all these? | 你从哪弄到这些东西的 |
| [02:10] | My dad was a collector. | 我老爸是个收藏家 |
| [02:11] | I inherited them after he died from a long painful bout with– | 他久病离世后我继承了这些玩具 他那时得的是… |
| [02:15] | SuperBall. | 是超级球耶 |
| [02:17] | Hey, an original G.l. Joe… | 你看，原版特种部队耶 |
| [02:21] | …with the full frogman suit. | 还有全套的蛙人装 |
| [02:25] | What are you doing? | 杰瑞，你要做什么 |
| [02:26] | I’m putting this on him and we’re going to the sink. | 我要在帮他穿蛙人装，然后再过去洗手槽玩 |
| [02:29] | No, Jerry… | 不行，杰瑞 |
| [02:30] | …they’re priceless. | 这些玩具很珍贵的 |
| [02:32] | They’ve never been played with. | 它们从没被拿出来玩过 |
| [02:34] | -I just wanna touch them a little. -I said, no. | – 我只是想碰一下而已 – 我刚说了，不行 |
| [02:38] | Now, come here. | 来，过来这 |
| [02:50] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [02:52] | I’m Lou Filerman. I’m new here. | 我是露・费勒曼，我是新来的 |
| [02:59] | Hey, Walter. What is the deal with that guy? | 瓦尔特，问你一下 刚刚那个家伙是来做什么的 |
| [03:02] | He’s Lou Filerman. He’s new here. | 他是露・费勒曼，他新来的 |
| [03:06] | Hey, your coffee stain looks like Fidel Castro. | 嘿，你的咖啡渍真像菲德尔・卡斯特罗 |
| [03:09] | You’ve been an enormous help. | 真谢谢你喔 |
| [03:13] | You ran over some pigeons? How many? | 你碾到鸽子了？几只？ |
| [03:16] | Whatever they had. | 那一群 |
| [03:18] | Miranda thinks I’m a butcher. But it’s not my fault, is it? | 米兰达觉得我是个杀鸽狂 不过这不算我的错吧 |
| [03:22] | Don’t we have a deal with the pigeons? | 我们不是有和鸽子说好了吗？ |
| [03:25] | Of course we have a deal. | 我们当然有和它们说好 |
| [03:26] | They get out of the way of cars… | 鸽子让路给车子 |
| [03:28] | …we look the other way on the statue defecation. | 然后彼此相安无事 |
| [03:31] | Right. And these pigeons broke the deal. | 没错，是鸽子自己毁约的 |
| [03:33] | I will not accept the blame for this. | 我无法理解她居然怪我撞到鸽子 |
| [03:36] | -So Miranda’s cooled on you? -I’m getting nothing. | – 那米兰达对你冷淡了？ – 一点进展也没有 |
| [03:40] | Yeah, me neither. | 是阿，我也同样 |
| [03:41] | I thought you were sleeping together. | 我记得你和她睡了过不是么？ |
| [03:43] | Oh, the sex is wild, but she’s got this toy collection… | 对，性的部份很不错，但她的玩具收藏 |
| [03:46] | …and she won’t let me near it. | 却不让我靠近 |
| [03:48] | I don’t understand women. | 我真搞不懂女人 |
| [03:50] | Here comes one. | 女人到了 |
| [03:52] | Hey. What’s going on? | 嗨，你好吗 |
| [03:55] | Hey. Art Garfunkel? | 嘿，阿特・加芬克尔吗？ |
| [03:58] | -No, Castro. -Right. | – 不，卡斯特罗 – 对 |
| [04:01] | It’s all because of this creepy new guy at work. | 这都是公司新来的那个恶心家伙害的 |
| [04:04] | He just comes out of nowhere and he’s right next to you. | 他不知道从哪冒出来 然后突然间出现在你旁边 |
| [04:07] | So he just sidles up? | 所以他就偷偷摸摸溜到你旁边 |
| [04:08] | That’s right. He’s a real sidler. | 没错，他真的是无声无响溜到我旁边 |
| [04:13] | -Maybe you didn’t see him. -You never see him. | – 或许是你没看到他而已 – 你永远看不到他 |
| [04:16] | He sidled me again in my office. | 他有次摸进我的办公室 |
| [04:18] | I was sitting making Cup-a-Soup… | 当时我正在泡我的速溶汤包 |
| [04:19] | …singing that song from The Lion King. | 哼着狮子王里那首歌 |
| [04:22] | ”Hakuna Matata”? | “无忧无虑”？ |
| [04:24] | -I thought I was alone. -That doesn’t make it right. | – 我以为只有我一个人在而已 – 这不是好理由 |
| [04:30] | To me, the Hakuna Matata is not nearly as embarrassing… | 对我来说，唱“无忧无虑” |
| [04:33] | -…as the Cup-a-Soup. -Would you just… | – 不见得比喝速溶汤包丢脸 – 你可不可以… |
| [04:35] | …let it go? | 不要再说了 |
| [04:37] | Hey, Jerry. Come here a sec. | 嘿，杰瑞，来一下 |
| [04:40] | Oh, yeah. | 哦，好 |
| [04:41] | Hey. | 我看看 |
| [04:43] | Oh, my God. | 喔，天阿 |
| [04:45] | It’s the Merv Griffin set. | 这是莫夫・格里芬的布景耶 |
| [04:49] | How did you get this in here? | 你怎么把这弄来的 |
| [04:51] | Oh, you just bring it in sideways and hook it. | 你只需要把它弄到走廊上，再转进来就好了 |
| [04:56] | -So where are you gonna sleep? -Backstage. | – 那你要睡哪？ – 后台 |
| [05:02] | This chair smells like garbage. | 这张椅子真臭 |
| [05:04] | A lot of the stars from the ’70s… | 很多七零年代的巨星都坐过这张椅子 |
| [05:06] | …they were not as hygienic as they appeared on TV. | 他们可不像在电视上那样卫生 |
| [05:09] | You take Mannix, for example. | 拿马尼克斯来说好了 |
| [05:12] | I’m gonna get that. | 我来接 |
| [05:13] | Well, Jerry we’d love to have you back any time. | 杰瑞，我们随时欢迎你回来 |
| [05:20] | Well, Elaine Benes…. | 至于伊莲・贝尼斯 |
| [05:21] | Well, it’s great to have you. | 真高兴你来了 |
| [05:24] | Is it possible you’re even more beautiful… | 你怎么会比上次我见你的时候 |
| [05:26] | …than the last time I saw you? | 变得更漂亮了 |
| [05:46] | We had a deal. | 我们明明说好的 |
| [05:49] | -Mr. Peterman, here are these pages– -One moment. | – 皮特曼先生，这几页… – 等一下 |
| [05:53] | I’m reading the fascinating article… | 我正在读篇相当有意思的文章 |
| [05:55] | …on the most fascinating people of the year. | 是关于今年的年度风云人物 |
| [05:58] | And done. | 好…看完了 |
| [06:02] | Oh, yes. I’m sorry, I needed this so quickly. | 喔，好，不好意思，我需要这玩意 |
| [06:05] | It must have been a lot of work. Thank you very much, you two. | 这一定很费工吧，还真是谢谢你们两位 |
| [06:08] | What? | 什么 |
| [06:13] | Three dates and she still won’t let me play with the toys. | 都约过三次会了，她还是不让我碰玩具 |
| [06:16] | That’s interesting. | 这倒新鲜 |
| [06:18] | Someone mentioned to me you were not very happy… | 有人跟我提到，你不太高兴 |
| [06:20] | …with your toys growing up. | 看到你的玩具越来越多 |
| [06:22] | Yeah, that was me. | 没错，那是我说的 |
| [06:25] | That’s right, right. | 对，没错 |
| [06:26] | And you mentioned that you didn’t get a G.l. Joe. You had…. | 然后你说你没拿到特种部队 |
| [06:30] | -An Army Pete. -Right. | – 而是拿到一只仿冒的 – 对 |
| [06:33] | He was made of wood, in the rain he would swell up and then split. | 木制的，一到下雨天 就会膨胀，然后变得四分五裂 |
| [06:37] | And we all know how painful that can be. | 我们都能体会那会有多痛 |
| [06:45] | -Jerry? Oh, there you are. -Oh, Elaine Benes. | – 杰瑞 – 原来是你，伊莲・贝尼斯 |
| [06:47] | Well, this is quite a thrill. Yes, come. | 真是惊喜阿，是阿，来吧 |
| [06:53] | Yes, sit down. Yes. | 坐下吧，坐 |
| [06:55] | Well, I’ll tell you, this sidler guy is really chapping my hide. | 我要说，这个闪灵一样的家伙 真的快把我搞疯了 |
| [06:59] | Excuse me? | 不好意思 |
| [07:00] | Yeah, we’re talking this way. | 没错，这样子说话画面比较好看 |
| [07:03] | He’s getting credit for work that I did. | 我做好一件事他都过来分一杯羹 |
| [07:05] | He’s gonna sidle me right out of a job. | 他继续闪灵般出现在我背后 我工作都不用做了 |
| [07:07] | Now, for those of us who don’t know, sidling is what? | 现在，麻烦告诉电视机前的观众朋友 闪灵般是什么意思 |
| [07:12] | Kramer, what is wrong with you? | 克莱默，你发什么神经？ |
| [07:16] | What do you mean? | 什么意思？ |
| [07:17] | Well, for starters, you’re looking at note cards. | 举例来说，第一，你在看提示卡片 |
| [07:21] | I’m gonna give that guy a taste of his own medicine. | 我要以其人之道，还治其人之身 |
| [07:24] | So I am going to sidle the sidler. | 所以换我要偷偷闪到他旁边 |
| [07:27] | You sidle? You stomp around like a Clydesdale. | 你要闪到他旁边？ 你走起路来跟赛马没什么两样 |
| [07:31] | Not with these honeys. | 有这宝贝就不一样了 |
| [07:33] | Wrestling shoes. | 摔角鞋听起来不错吧 |
| [07:35] | Only in New York. | 纽约特产 |
| [07:40] | Jerry? | 杰瑞？ |
| [07:44] | Hey. Well, ladies and gentlemen. | 各位女士先生，请看 |
| [07:47] | It’s our good friend, George Costanza. | 大家的好朋友，乔治・克斯坦萨来了 |
| [07:50] | What a surprise. | 你来了真是太好了 |
| [07:58] | Turn music off. | 音乐停 |
| [08:01] | Yeah, sit, sit. | 来，坐坐 |
| [08:08] | -Well, it happened again. -What happened? | – 又来了 – 发生什么事了 |
| [08:10] | I’ll ask the questions. | 我负责问问题 |
| [08:14] | What happened? | 发生什么事了？ |
| [08:16] | Well, I just stomped some pigeons in the park. They didn’t move. | 我在公园压到几只鸽子，它们都不肯让开 |
| [08:20] | All right. Let’s change the subject. | 好，那我们换个话题 |
| [08:24] | Now, you and Jerry dated for a while. Tell us… | 你和杰瑞已经约会一段日子了，跟我们谈谈 |
| [08:28] | …what was that like? | 那是什么感觉？ |
| [08:33] | It’s the wrong card. | 我看错卡片了 |
| [08:37] | I don’t get these birds. They’re breaking the deal. | 我真是搞不懂这些小鸟，他们破坏约定了 |
| [08:39] | It’s like the pigeons decided to ignore me. | 好像是鸽子故意要忽略我一样 |
| [08:42] | So they’re like everyone else. | 那么就像其他人一样了 |
| [08:46] | All right, let’s take a short break. | 好吧，我们稍微休息一下 |
| [09:02] | Okay, we’re back. | 好了，回到现场 |
| [09:09] | Boy, that bank clock is eight minutes off. | 那个银行时钟慢了八分钟 |
| [09:12] | Then why don’t you just run it over too? | 那你何不就直接压过去就好了 |
| [09:25] | George, what are you doing? | 乔治，你在做什么？ |
| [09:27] | Did you see that? That pigeon didn’t move. | 你看到了吗？那只鸽子动也不动 |
| [09:29] | I had to swerve out of the way. I saved that pigeon’s life. | 我只能临时转向，我救了那只鸽子一命 |
| [09:32] | What pigeon? You drove right into that squirrel. | – 哪来的鸽子？ – 你直接撞上那只松鼠 |
| [09:37] | Squirrel? | 松鼠？ |
| [09:39] | Well, we have no deal with them. | 我们可没有跟松鼠有约定 |
| [09:53] | Jerry, those hands. They never stop. | 杰瑞，你的手，总是不闲着 |
| [09:57] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [09:58] | You got any booze? What say you and I get ripped. | 你有酒吗？我们来喝个痛快如何？ |
| [10:02] | No, thanks. I have a headache. | 不，谢了，我头痛 |
| [10:05] | Can you just get me an aspirin? | 可以拿颗阿斯匹林给我吗 |
| [10:08] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [10:13] | ”Will not cause drowsiness.” | “不会导致嗜睡” |
| [10:18] | ”May cause drowsiness.” | “可能导致嗜睡” |
| [10:27] | Here’s the new copy you wanted. | 这是你要的，我改好了 |
| [10:29] | Oh, yes. | 喔，太好了 |
| [10:32] | Well, this certainly looks like a lot of words in record time. | 这个看起来字还蛮多的，也没有花太多时间 |
| [10:37] | I’m very impressed with both of you. | 真是太另我印象深刻了，两位 |
| [10:43] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [10:45] | Unfortunately, I am also disgusted. | 不幸的是，我也被恶心到了 |
| [10:49] | This is incoherent drivel. | 屁话连篇 |
| [10:52] | This is a total redo… | 这给我重做… |
| [10:55] | …and I’m assuming I need it right away. | 我想我马上就得用到它 |
| [10:59] | Well, I guess we’ll just have– | 我们大概只要 |
| [11:04] | Oh, just give me that. | 喔，给我就对了 |
| [11:18] | Mission accomplished. Back to base, Joe. | 任务完成，特种部队返回基地 |
| [11:27] | Doctor, is the squirrel going to live? | 医生，这只松鼠还有救吗？ |
| [11:29] | There’s been massive trauma. We could, of course, try to save him… | 它受了相当严重的创伤 当然，我们可以尽全力挽救它 |
| [11:33] | …but it would be costly, difficult, and we’d have to send away… | 但这会花上不少钱，也不好做 同时我们得弄些… |
| [11:37] | …for some special, really tiny instruments. | 相当特别，相当小的仪器 |
| [11:41] | Well, are there any other options? | 那…还有其他的方法吗？ |
| [11:43] | We could put him to sleep. | 我们可以让它无痛地走掉 |
| [11:46] | What might that cost? | 那样要多少钱 |
| [11:47] | Well, it’s by the pound, so about 80 cents. | 药是以磅计价，一磅大概是八毛 |
| [11:51] | -Well…. -George. | – 那 – 乔治 |
| [11:53] | I was just– I was curious, that’s all. | 我只是，有点好奇而已 |
| [11:58] | We’d like you to do everything possible. | 我们希望您能尽一切努力挽救它 |
| [12:01] | He’s not gonna be the same, you know? | 它不会像以前那样正常活动了，你知道吗？ |
| [12:04] | Yeah, yeah, I know. | 当然，我当然知道 |
| [12:07] | So they’re flying the tiny instruments in from El Paso. | 所以他们会从艾尔帕索调来那些小仪器�� |
| [12:11] | El Paso. I spent a month there one night. | 艾尔帕索，我梦过我在那待了一个月 |
| [12:16] | El Paso. | 艾尔帕索 |
| [12:19] | What’s he here for? | 他来这做什么？ |
| [12:21] | Well, he takes some of the pressure off of me. | 它帮我缓解压力的 |
| [12:24] | So, Jerry what’s going on with you? | 对了，杰瑞，你还好吗？ |
| [12:26] | I understand there’s a young lady in your life. | 我知道有个年轻小妞跟你处得不错 |
| [12:29] | Actually, it’s kind of a funny story, because she has this toy collection… | 说起来还真有点好笑，因为她有个玩具收藏 |
| [12:33] | …and last night, I got to play with them. | 然后昨天晚上，我有机会可以玩一下 |
| [12:35] | Well, sounds like things are progressing. | 听起来还颇有进展 |
| [12:38] | Do I hear wedding bells? | 我好像快听到教堂的钟声 |
| [12:39] | -Are you married right now? -Newman. | – 你结婚了吗？ – 别插嘴 |
| [12:42] | She doesn’t even know about the toys. | 她甚至不知道我偷玩玩具的事 |
| [12:44] | I gave her the wrong kind of medicine and I guess she passed out. | 我给她另一种药，然后我想她大概就睡着了 |
| [12:48] | What do you mean, wrong kind? | 错的药，你是指什么？ |
| [12:50] | She’s got that Mattel football game we loved. | 她有我们爱的那个美泰足球游戏 |
| [12:53] | You gotta get me over there. | 你一定得带我过去 |
| [12:54] | Wait a minute. You mean to say that you drugged a woman… | 等等，你是说，你用药迷昏了个女人 |
| [12:57] | …so you could take advantage of her toys? | 然后你就可以偷玩她的玩具？ |
| [13:00] | Let’s pause a moment. | 我们稍微暂停一下 |
| [13:05] | Jerry… | 杰瑞 |
| [13:06] | …what you do with your personal life is your business. | 你的私生活要怎么搞是你家的事 |
| [13:09] | But when you’re on my set, you clean it up, mister. | 但到我的节目，你就得干净点，老兄 |
| [13:12] | I told you he was a risk. | 我跟你说过不要找他来 |
| [13:14] | Oh, like he’s not just carrying you, and has been for years. | 喔，说得像是这几年来 他都没有拖你下水就是了 |
| [13:17] | Yeah, well, you bombed. That story stunk worse than these chairs. | 你没救了，这故事简直比这些椅子还要破烂 |
| [13:21] | Smile, everyone. We’re back. | 各位，微笑，我们回到现场 |
| [13:26] | -You wanted to see me, Elaine? -Yes, Lou. | – 伊莲，你要见我 – 是的 |
| [13:29] | You’ve got a lot going for you. | 你有很多优点 |
| [13:31] | You’re spontaneous. | 你很主动 |
| [13:34] | You’re symmetrical. | 你很有条理 |
| [13:40] | You’re very quick, aren’t you? | 你动作也很快 |
| [13:43] | It’s just that you’re: | 只是你有点 |
| [13:46] | My dead tooth? | 我的坏牙齿 |
| [13:49] | No. | 不 |
| [13:51] | You’re: | 你有点 |
| [13:55] | What, my breath? | 难道是我有口臭？ |
| [13:58] | What can I do? | 我该怎么办？ |
| [13:59] | Well, you should never, ever go anywhere without these. | 我觉得，你应该随身携带这些东西 |
| [14:04] | Thanks, Elaine. You’re such a super lady. | 伊莲，谢了，你设想真周到 |
| [14:17] | More wine and turkey? | 还要些酒或火鸡吗？ |
| [14:21] | So when I saw George with an 1 8-pound turkey and a box of wine… | 然后当我看到乔治 手上拿只十八磅的火鸡还有一大箱酒的时候 |
| [14:25] | …l thought, ”What a coincidence, we’re just about to eat.” | 我就在想“真巧，我们正想要吃” |
| [14:29] | What is that stuff in turkey that makes you sleepy? | 土鸡里面那个让你想睡的东西，是什么玩意 |
| [14:31] | -Tryptophan. | -Tryptophan. – 色氨酸 – 色氨酸 |
| [14:34] | I think. | 我想应该是 |
| [14:35] | Have some more wine. | 多喝点酒 |
| [14:37] | What video did you get? | 你带了什么影片来？ |
| [14:39] | Oh, George brought home movies of his boyhood trip to Michigan. | 喔，乔治带了他小时候 去密西根的家庭影片过来 |
| [14:44] | Four hours. | 总长四个小时 |
| [14:45] | More heavy gravy? | 再来些肉汤吧？ |
| [14:50] | Yes. Touchdown. Your turn, Jerry. | 好极了，达阵得分，换你了，杰瑞 |
| [15:00] | Lately though, I’ve been buying the generic brand of wax beans. | 虽然只是最近的事，不过我经常买有机蜡豆 |
| [15:06] | You know, I rip off the label… | 其实是，我把它的标签撕掉了 让它看起来像有机食品包装 |
| [15:08] | …l can hardly tell the difference. | 我其实吃不太出来有什么不一样 |
| [15:11] | We’ve officially bottomed out. | 节目已经开始无聊了 |
| [15:15] | -Who’s our next guest? -We got no one. | – 下一位来宾是哪位 – 没人来了 |
| [15:18] | We need a new format. We should shut down and retool. | 节目需要新的型态 我们最好先停播然后好好计划一番 |
| [15:37] | -What about a guest host? -I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. | – 请人来客串主持人如何 – 我会装作我没听到 |
| [15:44] | -Doctor, how’s the squirrel? -ls he dead? | – 医生，松鼠的情况有没好转 – 它死了吗 |
| [15:48] | No, fortunately the special tiny instruments arrived just in time. | 没死，我们运气好，小仪器来的正是时候 |
| [15:52] | -Would you like to visit him? -Yes, he would. | – 你想看看它吗？ – 当然，他当然想！ |
| [16:01] | You have 30 minutes. | 你有半个小时的时间 |
| [16:11] | So… | 那么 |
| [16:14] | …squirrel. | 松鼠 |
| [16:18] | One more thing, Mr. Costanza. | 克斯坦萨先生，还有一件事 |
| [16:20] | We just need to know what time you’ll be picking him up tomorrow. | 我们想要了解，明天你什么时候会来接它 |
| [16:23] | What’s that? | 你什么意思？ |
| [16:25] | Oh, we’re discharging the squirrel. We think he’ll be better off at home. | 我们要让小松鼠出院了 让它待在家里会比较好 |
| [16:29] | He has no home. He’s a squirrel. | 它没有家，它只是只松鼠 |
| [16:33] | Your home, Mr. Costanza. | 克斯坦萨先生，就是你的家 |
| [16:34] | Just make sure he gets his medicine six times a day… | 记得一天要它服六次药 |
| [16:37] | …and keep his tail elevated. | 然后找东西给它垫尾巴 |
| [16:43] | Maybe it’ll be fun having a pet. | 养宠物说不定颇有意思的 |
| [16:45] | It’s not a pet. It’s a wild invalid. | 它不是宠物，它只是一个野生病人而已 |
| [16:48] | And it knows that I tried to kill it. | 而且它知道我差点杀了它 |
| [16:51] | As soon as it gets better, it’s gonna gnaw my brain out in my sleep. | 它康复之后 一定会趁我睡着的时候把我头啃掉 |
| [16:55] | Jerry. Hey. What are you doing tomorrow? | 嘿，杰瑞，你明天有要做什么吗 |
| [16:58] | -I want you to come by. -What about my questionable material? | – 我希望你能来我家一下 – 你不是说我上次节目的内容不适合家庭观赏？ |
| [17:01] | No, we got a whole new format. Edgy, youthful. | 我们节目有新型态了，保证精彩，新鲜可期 |
| [17:04] | -Plus, we got Jim Fowler. -Jim Fowler? | – 而且，我们还邀到了吉姆・福勒 – 吉姆・福勒 |
| [17:07] | The animal guy from Wild Kingdom is coming? | 野生王国那个动物小子要来？ |
| [17:10] | Well, I practically raised his kids. | 他小孩可以算是我养大的 |
| [17:14] | Perfect, a zoo guy. He takes care of animals. | 太棒了，来了个动物园小子，他照料动物 |
| [17:16] | Can I bring the squirrel by? | 我可以把松鼠带来吗？ |
| [17:18] | Two animal acts on the same show? | 你要两只动物同台演出？ |
| [17:20] | Is this amateur hour? | 这是综艺新人秀吗 |
| [17:23] | Look, George, I’m sorry, maybe another time, all right? | 乔治，听好，我很抱歉，下次再带松鼠来好吗？ |
| [17:27] | I gotta get to Fowler. | 我得见一下福勒 |
| [17:28] | I know he would take this squirrel. | 我相信他一定会接纳这只松鼠的 |
| [17:30] | -It’s practically bionic. -Hey. | – 它怎么算也还算只动物嘛 – 嘿 |
| [17:34] | Nice sidle, huh? | 看，我没发出声音吧？ |
| [17:36] | Speaking of which, I think I’ve got that problem solved. | 说到这个，我觉得我已经解决这个问题了 |
| [17:39] | Tic Tacs work? | 爽口糖有用？ |
| [17:41] | He’s a human maraca. | 他现在根本是个人体活动沙铃 |
| [17:44] | Boy, my knuckles are still cramped from that football game. | 天啊，那场橄榄球赛后 我的手指关节到现在还卡卡的 |
| [17:47] | You took him over to Celia’s? | 你把他带去到赛莉娅家了？ |
| [17:49] | What? It’s a victimless crime. | 不然呢，又没人受害 |
| [17:51] | What about the woman who’s been drugged and taken advantage of? | 那个被下药然后被占便宜的女人 你要怎么解释 |
| [17:55] | Okay, one victim. | 好吧，就一个受害者 |
| [17:57] | I think it’s unconscionable. | 我觉得这太超过了 |
| [17:59] | Last night, I found a whole Weeble village behind the Easy-Bake Oven. | 昨天晚上，我在玩具烤箱后面，找到威宝乐园 |
| [18:03] | Easy-Bake Oven? | 玩具烤箱？ |
| [18:05] | Who wants a cupcake? | 有没有人要来点小蛋糕 |
| [18:07] | Me, me, me, me, me. | 我 我 我 我 我 |
| [18:09] | You know that batter is like 30 years old. | 那个击球的差不多快三十岁了 |
| [18:12] | You step on it and it flushes. | 站上去就会冲水 |
| [18:14] | Why is your father giving a tour of a rest stop? | 你父亲为什么要去参观休息站呀？ |
| [18:17] | –Stop squirming. -Don’t. This is where they change me. | – 别动来动去 – 别这样，这是他们改变我的地方 |
| [18:21] | -You’re like 8 years old. –Georgie. | – 你差不多八岁 – 乔治 |
| [18:23] | I was 7 and a half. | 我当时七岁半 |
| [18:31] | That noise. | 那个噪音 |
| [18:33] | -That’s the noise. -What? | – 就是这个噪音 – 什么 |
| [18:36] | That infernal rattling that has plagued me… | 那折磨我已久的该死杂音 |
| [18:38] | …these past two days, and I could not find the source. | 这两天，我一直没办法找出声音的来源 |
| [18:41] | ln my office, in the hallway… | 在我办公室里，走廊上 |
| [18:44] | …even in the men’s room. Shame on you, Elaine. | 甚至在男生厕所里，伊莲，我真替你感到羞愧 |
| [18:47] | No, no, Mr. Peterman. That wasn’t me. | 不，不，皮特曼先生，不是我做的 |
| [18:49] | That reminds me of the Haitian voodoo rattle torture. | 那声音让我想起 在海地用来折磨人的巫毒酷刑 |
| [18:54] | You haven’t gone over to their side, have you? | 你可没加入巫毒教吧？ |
| [18:57] | No, Mr. Peterman. | 我没有皮特曼先生 |
| [18:59] | Because if I hear one more rattle, just one, you’re out on your can. | 因为假若再让我听到一次 再一次，你就不用干了 |
| [19:05] | And if you are undead… | 如果你是活尸的话 |
| [19:07] | …I’ll find out about that too. | 我也会一样发现的 |
| [19:25] | Lou. ln here. | 露，进来 |
| [19:28] | We have to talk. | 我们需要谈一下 |
| [19:29] | -Oh, right. -Stop it. | – 喔，好吧 – 别这样 |
| [19:31] | Bad voodoo. | 讨厌的巫毒教徒 |
| [19:33] | -You’ve gotta stop using these. -Why? | – 你得开始停止用这个了 – 为什么 |
| [19:36] | Because they’re turning your teeth green. | 因为这会把你的牙齿变绿 |
| [19:38] | I only buy the white ones. | 我只有买白色的 |
| [19:40] | Okay. Well, then your teeth are green for a different reason. | 好吧，那你的牙齿 可能是别的原因让它变绿的 |
| [19:44] | You gotta stop carrying these, okay? Just use mouthwash. | 别再把这些爽口糖带在身上了，好吗？ 用漱口水就好了 |
| [19:47] | I can’t. lt burns my cankers. | 我没法用，烧我口腔 |
| [19:50] | Binaca. | 那口腔喷雾呢 |
| [19:52] | -Again. -Right, right, cankers. | – 一样 – 没错，没错，烧口腔 |
| [19:54] | -I got it. Chew gum. -I hate gum. | – 我想到了，口香糖怎样？ – 我讨厌口香糖 |
| [19:57] | The only gum I liked came with the Mickey Mouse gumball machine. | 我只喜欢米老鼠口香糖贩卖机里面的口香糖 |
| [20:00] | They stopped making that 20 years ago. | 那二十年前就停产了 |
| [20:03] | Well, stinky, this is your lucky day. | 好吧，臭小子，今天你走运了 |
| [20:08] | Okay, a little later we’re gonna be talking with animal expert, Jim Fowler. | 好，等会儿 我们会和动物专家吉姆・福勒聊聊 |
| [20:13] | Where are the cameras? | 镜头在哪？ |
| [20:16] | But first, we’re talking with Jerry. | 但我们会先跟杰瑞聊聊 |
| [20:20] | Hey, Jerry… | 你好，杰瑞 |
| [20:22] | …you drugged a woman in order to play with her toy collection. | 关于你下药迷昏女人 只为了玩她的玩具这件事 |
| [20:27] | How do you feel about that? | 你有什么感想？ |
| [20:28] | It was great. I’ve done it a few more times since then. | 还不错，之后我又如法炮制了几次 |
| [20:32] | And she doesn’t know anything about this? | 那她什么都不知道吗？ |
| [20:34] | No. Not a thing. | 是阿，完全没发现 |
| [20:36] | Well, Jerry, we have a little surprise for you. Come on out, Celia. | 那么，杰瑞，我们为你准备了个小惊喜 出来吧，赛莉娅 |
| [20:41] | What kind of sick, twisted creep are you? | 你真是个病态，人格扭曲的恶心鬼 |
| [20:46] | What is this? What is she doing here? | 这是什么？她在这里做什么？ |
| [20:49] | What? It’s the new format. Scandals and animals. | 怎样，这就是本节目的新型态 丑闻与动物专栏 |
| [20:52] | lf you think you can drug me and play, you’ve got another thing coming. | 如果你觉得你可以下药弄昏我 然后玩我玩具的话，你别白费心机了 |
| [20:56] | Go, girl. | 上吧，小妞 |
| [20:58] | Well, what kind of woman drinks an entire box of wine? | 哪种女人会把整箱酒都喝光的 |
| [21:04] | Mr. Fowler, I have a squirrel here that is a miracle of modern science. | 福勒先生，我带来了一只松鼠 它是现代科技的奇迹 |
| [21:08] | I told you, we’re booked. | 我告诉过你了，我们没有位置了 |
| [21:10] | Careful. Hawks and squirrels don’t get along together. | 小心点，老鹰跟松鼠处得不是很好 |
| [21:13] | Another interesting confrontation. This could be spicy, bring him over. | 有趣的爆点，这应该会很劲爆，把松鼠带来吧 |
| [21:17] | No, you idiot. Hawks eat squirrels. | 不，你这蠢蛋，老鹰会把松鼠吃了 |
| [21:29] | Are we getting this? | 这段要播出吗？ |
| [21:34] | So the whole set was destroyed? | 所以布景全毁了？ |
| [21:36] | Well, the squirrel kept scurrying and the hawk kept clawing. | 松鼠跳来跳去，老鹰抓来抓去 |
| [21:40] | Well, at least we know that prosthetic squirrel hips work. | 至少我们知道，人工的松鼠屁股咬不坏 |
| [21:44] | Sorry about the set. | 真遗憾布景坏了 |
| [21:46] | I’ll tell you, it was a grind having to fill 1 0 hours a day. | 跟你说，一天花十小时在这还真不是人干的 |
| [21:49] | I’m not sure I was ready to have my own talk show set. | 我开始怀疑我是不是已经准备好 要拥有我自己的节目布景了 |
| [21:55] | I got the nut bread, George. Let’s go. | 乔治，我买好粗粮面包了，我们走吧 |
| [21:59] | So the squirrel’s gonna make it? | 对了，那只松鼠有好些吗？ |
| [22:00] | Yeah, he’s in my bed. | 恩，它现在在我床上 |
| [22:03] | I’m sleeping on the couch. | 我睡在沙发上 |
| [22:05] | On the couch? So you’re– | 沙发上？所以你… |
| [22:07] | Still getting nothing. | 毫无进展 |
| [22:12] | Oh, go ahead, pigeons. Laugh it up. | 笑吧，鸽子，尽管笑吧 |
| [22:16] | I’m getting in my car now, and the last I heard, we have no deal. | 我要回车子上了，刚刚我听到你说 其实我们根本没有约定 |
| [22:22] | I’m glad you called, Elaine. I really needed to talk to someone. | 真高兴你打来了，伊莲，我真的需要找人谈谈 |
| [22:25] | Oh, well, hey, I dated Jerry too. I know what a monster he can be. | 喔，对了，我也和杰瑞在一起过 我知道他有多畜生 |
| [22:29] | More wine and turkey? | 还要加些酒跟火鸡吗？ |
| [22:33] | -Who’s he? -Oh, he’s nobody. | – 那是谁 – 喔，他不重要 |
| [22:35] | Hey, listen, let me top that off for you. | 嘿，我帮你斟满吧！ |