| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:11] | 欢迎 一切安好 | |
| [00:19] | Eleanor? | 埃莉诺 |
| [00:20] | Come on in. | 进来吧 |
| [00:23] | Hi, Eleanor. I’m Michael. | 你好 埃莉诺 我是迈克尔 |
| [00:26] | How are you today? | 你今天感觉如何 |
| [00:27] | I’m great. Thanks for asking. | 挺好的 多谢关心 |
| [00:30] | One question. | 我有个疑问 |
| [00:32] | Where am I? | 我在哪儿 |
| [00:33] | Who are you? And what’s going on? | 你是谁 这是怎么回事 |
| [00:35] | Right, so, you, Eleanor Shellstrop, are dead. | 是这样 你 埃莉诺·谢尔斯卓普 已经去世了 |
| [00:39] | Your life on Earth has ended, | 你在地球上的生命已经完结 |
| [00:41] | and you are now in the next phase | 你现在进入到了 |
| [00:43] | of your existence in the universe. | 人类存在形式的下一阶段 |
| [00:47] | Cool. | 了解 |
| [00:49] | Cool. I have some questions. | 真棒 我有些疑问 |
| [00:52] | Thought you might. | 我想也是 |
| [00:53] | How did I die? | 我怎么死的 |
| [00:54] | I-I don’t remember. | 我不记得了 |
| [00:55] | Yes… in cases of traumatic or embarrassing deaths, | 是这样的 考虑到心理创伤或死亡过于尴尬 |
| [00:59] | we erase the memory to allow for a peaceful transition. | 我们抹掉了记忆 让人们得以平和地过渡 |
| [01:04] | Are you sure you want to hear? | 你确定想听吗 |
| [01:06] | All right, so you were in a grocery store parking lot. | 好吧 你当时在商店的停车场 |
| [01:09] | You dropped a bottle of something called | 你掉了一瓶饮品 叫做 |
| [01:11] | “Lonely Gal Margarita Mix for One.” | 「一人份孤独女孩玛格丽特鸡尾酒」 |
| [01:14] | And when you bent down to pick it up, | 你弯腰去捡时 |
| [01:16] | a long column of shopping carts that were being returned to | 一长排被送回手推车收集处的 |
| [01:19] | the shopping cart collection area | 购物手推车 |
| [01:21] | rolled out of control and plowed right into you. | 不受控制地冲向了你 |
| [01:26] | That’s how I died? | 我是这么死的 |
| [01:27] | No, sorry, there’s more. | 不 抱歉 还没说完 |
| [01:29] | You were able to grab on to the front of the column of shopping carts, | 你勉强抓住了那排购物车的前端 |
| [01:32] | but it swept you right out into the street | 但却被甩到了道路中间 |
| [01:34] | where you were struck and killed by a mobile billboard truck | 然后被一辆贴有名为「想变大」的 |
| [01:38] | advertising an erectile dysfunction pill called “Engorge-ulate.” | 勃起功能障碍药品广告的流动广告卡车撞击身亡 |
| [01:44] | Funnily enough, | 说来有趣 |
| [01:45] | the first EMT to arrive was an ex-boyfriend of yours… | 最先到达的急救队员是你的前男友 |
| [01:47] | – Okay, that’s…I get it, thank you. – Okay, sorry. | -好了 我知道了 谢谢 -好的 抱歉 |
| [01:50] | So who was right? | 哪种说法正确啊 |
| [01:52] | I mean about all of this? | 我是说关于这一切 |
| [01:55] | Well, let’s see. Hindus are a little bit right, | 我想想 印度教对了一部分 |
| [01:58] | Muslims a little bit. | 穆斯林也对了一部分 |
| [01:59] | Jews, Christians, Buddhists, | 犹太教 基督徒 佛教 |
| [02:02] | every religion guessed about 5%, | 每个宗教都猜对了5％左右 |
| [02:05] | except for Doug Forcett. | 除了道格·福赛特 |
| [02:07] | Who…who’s Doug Forcett? | 道格·福赛特是谁 |
| [02:08] | Well, Doug was a stoner kid | 道格是1970年代 |
| [02:11] | who lived in Calgary during the 1970s. | 住在卡尔加里的一个常嗑嗨的年轻人 |
| [02:13] | One night, he got really high on mushrooms, | 有一晚 他吃毒蘑菇致幻了 |
| [02:16] | and his best friend, Randy, said, | 他最好的朋友兰迪说道 |
| [02:18] | “Hey, what do you think happens after we die?” | 「你觉得我们死后会是什么样」 |
| [02:21] | And Doug just launched into this long monologue | 接着道格来了一段长独白 |
| [02:24] | where he got like 92% correct. | 说对了约有92％的内容 |
| [02:27] | I mean, we couldn’t believe what we were hearing. | 我们简直不敢相信自己的耳朵 |
| [02:29] | That’s him, actually, right up there. | 实际上那上面就是他 |
| [02:31] | He’s pretty famous around here. | 他在这里挺出名的 |
| [02:33] | I’m very lucky to have that. | 我很幸运能拥有这幅照片 |
| [02:35] | So… Maybe my biggest question: | 也许我最大的疑惑是 |
| [02:37] | am I… | 我是… |
| [02:39] | I mean, is this… | 这里是… |
| [02:42] | Or… | 还是… |
| [02:45] | Well, it’s not the heaven or hell idea that you were raised on. | 这不是你从小被灌输的天堂或地狱那种概念 |
| [02:50] | But generally speaking, | 但一般来说 |
| [02:52] | in the afterlife, there’s a Good Place | 在「死后世界」 有「善地」 |
| [02:55] | and there’s a Bad Place. | 以及「恶地」 |
| [02:58] | You’re in the Good Place. | 你在「善地」 |
| [03:01] | You’re okay, Eleanor. | 你可以放心了 埃莉诺 |
| [03:03] | You’re in the Good Place. | 你在「善地」 |
| [03:04] | Well, that’s good. | 那就好 |
| [03:06] | Sure is. | 当然了 |
| [03:08] | Okay, let’s take a walk, shall we? | 我们出去走走如何 |
| [03:12] | Did I have a purse? | 我是不是拿着手提包来着 |
| [03:14] | No, I’m dead, right. Okay. | 不对 我死了 好吧 |
| [03:21] | So this is how it works. | 这里是这样的 |
| [03:23] | The Good Place is divided into distinct neighborhoods. | 「善地」分成了不同的街区 |
| [03:26] | 欢迎 无限之光 | |
| [03:26] | Each one contains exactly 322 people | 每个街区容纳了322个人 |
| [03:30] | who have been perfectly selected | 每个人都经过精心筛选 |
| [03:32] | to blend together into a blissful harmonic balance. | 构成了完美融洽的和谐关系 |
| [03:36] | Do all the neighborhoods look like this? | 所有街区都是这样吗 |
| [03:38] | No, every neighborhood is unique. | 不 每个街区都独一无二 |
| [03:39] | Some have warm weather, some cold. | 有些气候温暖 有些凉爽 |
| [03:41] | Some are cities, some farmland. | 有些是城市 有些是农田 |
| [03:44] | But in each one, every blade of grass, | 但每个街区 每根草 |
| [03:47] | every ladybug, | 每只瓢虫 |
| [03:48] | every detail has been | 每个细节 |
| [03:50] | precisely designed and calibrated for its residents. | 皆为居民精准调整与精心设计 |
| [03:54] | There’s a lot of frozen yogurt places. | 这里有很多酸奶冰淇淋店 |
| [03:56] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [03:57] | That’s the one thing we put in all the neighborhoods. | 每个街区都会有这样的店 |
| [04:00] | People love frozen yogurt. | 人们热爱酸奶冰淇淋 |
| [04:01] | I don’t know what to tell you. | 我也无话可说 |
| [04:04] | You’re gonna have a million more questions, I know. | 你肯定还有很多问题 |
| [04:06] | For right now, | 但现在 |
| [04:07] | better grab a seat. | 最好找个座位 |
| [04:09] | Movie’s about to begin. | 电影快要开始了 |
| [04:16] | 「善地」 迎新会 第一天 | |
| [04:17] | Hello, everyone. | 大家好 |
| [04:19] | And welcome to your first day in the afterlife. | 欢迎你们来到「死后世界」的第一天 |
| [04:23] | You were all, simply put, good people. | 简而言之 你们生前都是好人 |
| [04:27] | But how do we know that you were good? | 但我们如何知道你们是好人呢 |
| [04:29] | How are we sure? | 怎会如此确定呢 |
| [04:31] | During your time on Earth, | 你们身处地球时 |
| [04:33] | every one of your actions | 你们的每个举动 |
| [04:35] | had a positive or a negative value, | 都有着或正或负的数值 |
| [04:38] | depending on how much good or bad | 数值大小取决于你的举动 |
| [04:40] | that action put into the universe. | 对宇宙造成了多大的好与坏 |
| [04:43] | Every sandwich you ate, | 你每吃掉一个三明治 |
| [04:45] | every time you bought a magazine, | 每次购买杂志 |
| [04:47] | every single thing you did | 你做过的所有事 |
| [04:50] | had an effect that rippled out over time | 都随着时间的推移 慢慢产生影响 |
| [04:53] | and ultimately created some amount of good or bad. | 最终产生了一定量的好结果与坏结果 |
| [04:56] | You know how some people | 比如 有些人 |
| [04:57] | pull into the breakdown lane when there’s traffic? | 在交通拥堵时 驶进故障车道 |
| [04:59] | And they think to themselves, | 他们心里想着 |
| [05:01] | “Who cares? No one’s watching.” | 「谁在乎呢 又没人看见」 |
| [05:04] | We were watching. | 我们在看 |
| [05:05] | Surprise. | 没想到吧 |
| [05:07] | Anyway, when your time on Earth has ended, | 总而言之 你们在地球的生命结束时 |
| [05:10] | we calculate the total value of your life | 我们会使用我们精准的计量系统 |
| [05:13] | using our perfectly accurate measuring system. | 计算出你们生命的总价值 |
| [05:16] | Only the people with the very highest scores, | 只有那些分数非常高的人 |
| [05:19] | the true cream of the crop, | 最优秀的人们 |
| [05:21] | get to come here, to the Good Place. | 才能来到这里 来到「善地」 |
| [05:23] | What happens to everyone else, you ask? | 其余的人会怎么样 你们问道 |
| [05:26] | Don’t worry about it. | 不必费心 |
| [05:27] | The point is, you are here | 重要的是 你们来了 |
| [05:29] | because you lived one of the very best lives that could be lived. | 因为你们活出了最棒的一生 |
| [05:33] | And you won’t be alone. | 而且你不会孤单 |
| [05:35] | Your true soul mate is here too. | 你真正的灵魂伴侣也在这里 |
| [05:38] | That’s right. | 没错 |
| [05:39] | Soul mates are real. | 真有灵魂伴侣这回事 |
| [05:41] | One of the other people in your neighborhood is your actual soul mate, | 你街区里有一个人就是你的灵魂伴侣 |
| [05:46] | and you will spend eternity together. | 你们将永远在一起 |
| [05:49] | So welcome to eternal happiness. | 欢迎来到永恒的幸福 |
| [05:52] | Welcome to the Good Place. | 欢迎来到「善地」 |
| [05:54] | Sponsored by: | 此影片 |
| [05:56] | otters holding hands while they sleep. | 由睡觉时手牵手的水獭赞助 |
| [05:58] | You know the way you feel when you see | 你知道看到两只水獭 |
| [05:59] | a picture of two otters holding hands? | 手牵手的照片时那种感觉吗 |
| [06:02] | That’s how you’re gonna feel every day. | 你以后每一天都会是这种心情 |
| [06:08] | So who is in the Bad Place, that would shock me? | 「恶地」里有哪些让我意想不到的人 |
| [06:12] | Well, Mozart, Picasso, Elvis, | 莫扎特 毕加索 猫王 |
| [06:15] | basically every artist ever, | 基本上所有艺术家 |
| [06:18] | every U.S. President except Lincoln. | 除了林肯外的所有美国总统 |
| [06:20] | That sounds about right. | 听起来很合理 |
| [06:21] | What about Florence Nightingale? | 那弗洛伦斯·南丁格尔呢 |
| [06:23] | That was close, but, no, she didn’t make it. | 她差一点 但还是没能进来 |
| [06:25] | Wow, all those amazing people down there, | 那么多了不起的人物都在「恶地」 |
| [06:28] | it just seems so hard to believe. | 真让人难以置信 |
| [06:29] | Again, it’s an incredibly selective system. | 我也说过了 这是一套精密的筛选系统 |
| [06:33] | Most people don’t make it here. | 大部分人都挤不进来 |
| [06:35] | But you, a lawyer who got innocent people off death row, | 而你 一名帮无辜的人免除死刑的律师 |
| [06:40] | you’re special, Eleanor. | 你很特别 埃莉诺 |
| [06:42] | And by the way, | 对了 |
| [06:44] | welcome to your new home. | 欢迎来到你的新家 |
| [06:47] | it’s perfect, isn’t it? | 很完美 不是吗 |
| [06:48] | You see, in the Good Place, | 在「善地」 |
| [06:50] | every person gets to live in a home | 每个人都能住进 |
| [06:52] | that perfectly matches his or her true essence. | 和他们的本质完美匹配的家 |
| [06:56] | Cool. | 好棒 |
| [06:57] | So I guess that’s why my house, for example, | 所以举例来说 这大概就是为什么 |
| [07:00] | is this adorable little cottage, | 我的家是一间可爱的小屋 |
| [07:02] | whereas other people might have homes that are bigger, | 而其他人可能住在更大的房子 |
| [07:06] | like that one. | 像那栋一样 |
| [07:07] | Exactly. | 正是如此 |
| [07:09] | I’m so happy you get it. | 你能理解 我真高兴 |
| [07:11] | As you can see, the interior has been decorated just as you like it, | 如你所见 里面都按你的喜好装潢好了 |
| [07:15] | in the Icelandic primitive style. | 走的是冰岛原始风格 |
| [07:19] | And… of course, | 当然了 还有 |
| [07:21] | you love clowns, so… | 你喜欢小丑 所以… |
| [07:24] | I do love clowns. | 我确实喜欢小丑 |
| [07:26] | Now, let me show you the… | 让我给你介绍一下… |
| [07:27] | the video system here. | 这里的视频系统 |
| [07:31] | You can review everything that happened in your life | 你可以从你的视角 |
| [07:34] | from your point of view. | 回顾你生命中发生过的事 |
| [07:37] | There we go. | 你看 |
| [07:38] | This is your Human Rights mission to the Ukraine. | 这是你到乌克兰参与的人权活动 |
| [07:41] | I mean, you got a ton of points for that one. | 这件事为你加了很多分数 |
| [07:43] | It really put you over the top. | 让你跻身前列 |
| [07:47] | Chidi, come on in. | 奇迪 快进来 |
| [07:50] | Eleanor? | 埃莉诺 |
| [07:51] | I’m Chidi Anagonye, | 我是奇迪·阿纳贡耶 |
| [07:54] | and you are my soul mate. | 你是我的灵魂伴侣 |
| [07:58] | Cool, bring it in, man. | 真棒 快来个拥抱 |
| [08:01] | Now, excuse me. | 我先失陪了 |
| [08:02] | I have other people to attend to. | 我还要去招呼其他人 |
| [08:04] | So where you from, Chidi? | 你是哪里人 奇迪 |
| [08:06] | Well, I was born in Nigeria, | 我在尼日利亚出生 |
| [08:08] | raised in Senegal, | 在塞内加尔长大 |
| [08:09] | but my work took me all over the place… | 但我的工作让我走遍世界 |
| [08:11] | Australia, Hong Kong, Paris. | 澳洲 香港 巴黎 |
| [08:14] | What about you? | 你呢 |
| [08:16] | Well, I-I was born in Phoenix. Arizona. | 我出生于亚利桑那州的凤凰城 |
| [08:20] | And then I went to school in Tempe, Arizona. | 之后到亚利桑那州的坦佩上学 |
| [08:23] | And then I moved back to Phoenix, Arizona. | 后来又搬回亚利桑那州的凤凰城 |
| [08:28] | Your English is amazing. | 你的英语说得真好 |
| [08:31] | I’m actually speaking French. | 其实我说的是法语 |
| [08:34] | This place just translates whatever you say | 这个地方可以把你说的话 |
| [08:35] | into a language the other person can understand. | 翻译成对方听得懂的语言 |
| [08:38] | So it’s incredible. | 非常不可思议 |
| [08:39] | – And now I want to say this. – Okay. | -现在我有话想对你说 -好 |
| [08:43] | Eleanor. | 埃莉诺 |
| [08:44] | I have spent my entire life | 我穷尽一生 |
| [08:46] | in pursuit of fundamental truths about the universe. | 都在追寻宇宙的真谛 |
| [08:50] | And now we can actually learn about them together as soul mates. | 现在我们作为灵魂伴侣 可以共同学习了解 |
| [08:56] | It’s overwhelming. | 真令人激动 |
| [08:59] | Chidi. | 奇迪 |
| [09:00] | You’ll stand by my side no matter what, right? | 不管发生什么 你都会帮我吧 |
| [09:03] | Of course I will. | 当然了 |
| [09:04] | Promise me. | 向我保证 |
| [09:05] | Say, “I promise I will never betray you for any reason.” | 说「我发誓永远不会以任何理由背叛你」 |
| [09:10] | Eleanor, I swear | 埃莉诺 我发誓 |
| [09:12] | that I will never say or do anything to cause you any harm. | 我永远都不会说或做任何伤害你的事 |
| [09:18] | Good. | 这就好 |
| [09:19] | Because those aren’t my memories. | 因为那些不是我的记忆 |
| [09:20] | I wasn’t a lawyer. I never went to the Ukraine. | 我不是律师 我从没去过乌克兰 |
| [09:23] | I hate clowns. | 我讨厌小丑 |
| [09:25] | There’s been a big mistake. | 这是一个天大的误会 |
| [09:28] | I’m not supposed to be here. | 我不应该来「善地」 |
| [09:34] | Wait, what? | 慢着 你说啥 |
| [09:44] | Are you sure this isn’t you? | 你确定这不是你吗 |
| [09:45] | Yeah, man, I’m pretty sure i wasn’t a death row lawyer | 是的 我很确定我不是死刑犯律师 |
| [09:49] | who collected clown paintings and rescued orphans. | 也没有收集小丑画或救助孤儿 |
| [09:52] | They got my name right, but nothing else. | 他们没弄错我的名字 但其他都错了 |
| [09:55] | I mean, somebody royally forked up. | 有人真他喵的搞砸了 |
| [09:58] | Somebody forked up. | 有人他喵的搞砸了 |
| [10:01] | Why can’t I say “Fork”? | 我怎么说不出「他喵的」了 |
| [10:02] | If you’re trying to curse, you can’t here. | 如果你是想说脏话 这里说不了 |
| [10:04] | I guess a lot of people in this neighborhood don’t like it, | 可能因为这个街区里很多人都不喜欢 |
| [10:06] | so it’s prohibited. | 所以被禁了 |
| [10:07] | That’s bullshirt. | 真他喵瞎扯 |
| [10:08] | So… if you’re not this person, | 如果这人不是你 |
| [10:10] | then who are you? | 那你是谁 |
| [10:12] | What did you do for a living? | 你生前是干什么的 |
| [10:13] | I was…in… | 我是个… |
| [10:16] | sales. | 销售 |
| [10:18] | So we sell two products here, | 我们贩卖两种产品 |
| [10:19] | NasaPRO and NasaPRO Silver. | 纳沙神药和纳沙神药银版 |
| [10:21] | We aim this at seniors. | 这个药主打老年人群体 |
| [10:22] | Now, you can’t legally call it medicine | 法律上你不能称之为药物 |
| [10:24] | because it doesn’t technically work | 因为这产品其实没效 |
| [10:27] | and it is technically chalk, | 基本上就是白垩粉 |
| [10:31] | – So what you’re gonna want to… – You need me to lie to old people | -所以你最好… -你想让我欺骗老年人 |
| [10:33] | and scare them into buying fake medicine. | 吓唬他们 让他们买假药 |
| [10:35] | I get it, man. Which one’s my desk? | 我懂了 我的位子在哪儿 |
| [10:37] | So your job was to defraud the elderly? | 所以你的工作是欺骗老年人 |
| [10:42] | Sorry…the sick and elderly? | 不好意思 是有病的老年人 |
| [10:44] | But I was very good at it. | 但我很擅长 |
| [10:46] | I was the top salesperson five years running. | 五年来都是销售冠军 |
| [10:48] | Okay, but that’s worse. | 好吧 但那更糟 |
| [10:49] | I mean, you…you do get how that’s worse? Right? | 你懂那为什么会更糟吧 是吧 |
| [10:55] | You know, maybe… | 也许 |
| [10:56] | it’s a test. | 这是个测试 |
| [10:58] | Maybe if you go to Michael | 也许你去找迈克尔 |
| [10:59] | and you tell him the truth, | 把真相告诉他 |
| [11:00] | you’ll pass the test | 你就通过了测试 |
| [11:02] | and you’ll get to stay. | 可以留下来 |
| [11:03] | No way. | 没门 |
| [11:04] | I can’t risk going to the Bad Place. | 我不能冒着去「恶地」的风险告诉他 |
| [11:05] | Okay, well, maybe it’s not actually, like, all that bad. | 好吧 也许其实没那么糟 |
| [11:08] | Let’s just get some information first. | 我们先打探下消息吧 |
| [11:10] | We’ll ask Janet. Hey, Janet? | 问问珍妮特 珍妮特你在吗 |
| [11:12] | Hi there. | 你好 |
| [11:13] | How can I help you? | 有什么能效劳 |
| [11:14] | What the fork? Who are you? | 他喵什么鬼 你是谁 |
| [11:16] | I’m Janet. | 我是珍妮特 |
| [11:17] | I’m the informational assistant here in the Good Place. | 我是「善地」的信息助手 |
| [11:19] | She’s like this walking database. | 她就像个移动的数据库 |
| [11:22] | You can ask her about the creation of the universe or history… | 你可以问她宇宙起源或历史开端… |
| [11:27] | There was a guy who lived in Avondale, Arizona, around 2002. | 亚利桑那州埃文代尔2002号附近住了个男人 |
| [11:30] | His name was Kevin Paltonic. | 名叫凯文·帕尔唐尼尔 |
| [11:32] | – Is he gay? – No. | -他是基佬吗 -不是 |
| [11:34] | Really? | 是嘛 |
| [11:36] | I guess he just didn’t want to have sex with me. | 那他大概只是不想和我滚床单吧 |
| [11:38] | That’s correct. | 没错 |
| [11:39] | Well, that’s fine, I wasn’t that into him anyway. | 没关系 反正我也没那么喜欢他 |
| [11:41] | Yes, you were. | 你确实很喜欢他 |
| [11:41] | – Okay, Janet, I have a question. – Okay. | -好了 珍妮特 我有个问题 -请问 |
| [11:43] | What is the Bad Place like? | 「恶地」什么样 |
| [11:47] | Sorry, that is the one topic I’m not allowed to tell you about. | 抱歉 我无权回答你这个问题 |
| [11:51] | I can only play you a brief audio clip | 我只能给你播放一小段音频 |
| [11:53] | of what is happening there right now. | 展示下此刻那里的情形 |
| [11:56] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [12:00] | The bear has two mouths! | 那头熊有两张嘴 |
| [12:03] | Well, it doesn’t sound awesome. | 那里听着可不是很棒 |
| [12:08] | Does everyone have a huge house except me? | 是不是除了我 大家都有个大房子 |
| [12:11] | All right, we need a plan. | 好吧 我们得想个办法 |
| [12:12] | I say we just lie low | 要我说 我们就低调点 |
| [12:13] | and hope that they don’t notice me. | 希望他们不会注意到我 |
| [12:15] | I’m sorry, I don’t think I can help you. | 抱歉 我大概帮不了你 |
| [12:17] | I just don’t like being dishonest, | 我不喜欢不诚实 |
| [12:18] | and I can’t advise you to be dishonest either. | 我也不能建议你不诚实 |
| [12:22] | Come on, I’m just asking you to fudge a little bit. | 拜托 我只是求你装装样子 |
| [12:24] | You must’ve told a few white lies in your life. | 你生前肯定撒过几个善意的谎吧 |
| [12:27] | I mean, what was your job? | 你之前从事什么工作 |
| [12:28] | I was a professor of ethics and moral philosophy. | 我之前是个伦理与道德哲学教授 |
| [12:31] | Motherforker! | 你大喵的 |
| [12:34] | I’m getting a stomachache. | 我开始胃疼了 |
| [12:35] | I’m in a perfect utopia, | 我身在一个完美的乌托邦 |
| [12:37] | and I’m… I have a stomachache. | 却开始胃疼 |
| [12:39] | This is awful. | 太糟糕了 |
| [12:39] | I-I… I think I have to tell Michael about this. | 我得把这件事告诉迈克尔 |
| [12:42] | Tell Michael about what? | 告诉迈克尔什么 |
| [12:44] | Michael? Hi. | 迈克尔 你好啊 |
| [12:46] | What have you been up to? | 你都在忙什么啊 |
| [12:47] | Eleanor, Chidi, I would like you to meet Tahani and Jianyu. | 埃莉诺 奇迪 认识一下塔哈妮和剑宇 |
| [12:51] | They are soul mates and your next-door neighbors. | 他们是灵魂伴侣 还是你们的邻居 |
| [12:55] | Hello. | 你们好 |
| [12:56] | Can I just say I love your house? | 我超爱你的房子 |
| [12:59] | It’s just so tiny and cute. | 小巧可爱 |
| [13:02] | It’s like a little child’s plaything, | 就像是小孩子的玩具房 |
| [13:04] | like for a family of mice or for a very fancy little dog. | 像小老鼠或优良种小狗之家 |
| [13:07] | I love it. It’s just so sweet and teensy. | 我爱极了 你家真是又甜美又小巧 |
| [13:11] | Just like you. | 就像你一样 |
| [13:15] | You booped me. | 你刚刚点了我的鼻尖 |
| [13:16] | – I did. – That’s fun. | -是啊 -真有趣 |
| [13:18] | Tahani and Jianyu are having a little welcome party tonight, | 塔哈妮和剑宇今晚要办一个小型欢迎晚宴 |
| [13:21] | and they’ve invited the entire neighborhood. | 他们邀请了全街区的人 |
| [13:24] | I simply adore entertaining. | 我就是爱款待客人 |
| [13:26] | Don’t I just adore it, Jianyu? | 是吧 剑宇 |
| [13:29] | Yes, by the way, | 顺便说下 |
| [13:30] | Jianyu here is a Buddhist monk, you see? | 是这样 剑宇是个佛教弟子 |
| [13:33] | And he obeys a strict code of silence. | 他恪守缄默法则 |
| [13:36] | So when you see him smiling and nodding, | 所以当你看到他微笑或是点头时 |
| [13:39] | that’s actually his way of jumping up and down with glee. | 那实际上代表他兴高采烈的样子 |
| [13:42] | Isn’t that right, darling? | 对吧 亲爱的 |
| [13:45] | So we’ll see you tonight? | 那就今晚见咯 |
| [13:47] | – Great. – Yes. | -好 -好 |
| [13:52] | No way. | 跟我闹呢 |
| [13:57] | My entire house could fit in this room. | 我家整栋房子都能放进这个大厅了 |
| [14:00] | Okay… help me out here. | 好了… 帮我个忙 |
| [14:02] | Tell me one good thing that you did on Earth, | 说一件你生前做过的好事 |
| [14:06] | just one truly kind and decent act | 就一件真正的善良之举 |
| [14:09] | so that I can feel better about helping you out. | 这样我帮你隐瞒时 才能感觉好些 |
| [14:15] | Let’s forget about good. | 也别讲什么好事了 |
| [14:16] | Just tell me something neutral about yourself. | 就说说关于你的普通日常 |
| [14:18] | Like, tell me about the day before you died. | 比如你死前一天做了什么 |
| [14:20] | What do you remember? | 你还记得些什么 |
| [14:24] | Hi there. | 你好 |
| [14:24] | Do you have a second to talk about the environment? | 有时间聊下环境问题吗 |
| [14:26] | Do you have a second to eat my farts? | 你有时间吃我的屁吗 |
| [14:28] | You missed. | 你没扔进去 |
| [14:29] | Pick it up if you’re so horny for the environment. | 你对环境这么上心 那就你捡吧 |
| [14:33] | I don’t remember anything specific. | 我不记得具体什么事了 |
| [14:36] | Look. I might not have been a saint, | 听着 我虽然不是个圣人 |
| [14:37] | but it’s not like I killed anybody. | 但我也没杀人啊 |
| [14:39] | I wasn’t an arsonist. | 我又不是个纵火犯 |
| [14:41] | I never found a wallet outside of an IHOP | 我又没在煎饼屋外捡到个钱包 |
| [14:43] | and thought about returning it | 正想还回去时 |
| [14:44] | but saw the owner lived out of state | 发现失主不住本州 |
| [14:45] | so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground. | 就拿走现金 把钱包扔回地上 |
| [14:49] | Okay, that’s really specific, | 听起来很具体 |
| [14:49] | and that makes me think that you definitely did do that. | 让我感觉你肯定干过这事 |
| [14:51] | All I’m saying is these people might be “Good,” | 我只是说 这些人固然「好」 |
| [14:56] | but are they really that much better than me? | 但他们真比我强很多吗 |
| [15:00] | Well, I spent half my life in North Korea fighting for women’s rights | 我半辈子都在朝鲜为争取女权作斗争 |
| [15:03] | and the other half in Saudi Arabia fighting for gay rights. | 另外半辈子在沙特阿拉伯争取同性恋权利 |
| [15:07] | So we said, “If the U.N. won’t remove those land mines, | 所以我们就说 「如果联合国不挖走这些地雷 |
| [15:09] | we will.” | 那就我们来挖」 |
| [15:10] | And we dug up over a thousand unexploded land mines | 我们在孤儿院周边 |
| [15:13] | from the area surrounding the orphanage. | 挖出了一千多个未爆炸的地雷 |
| [15:15] | Well, then he said, | 然后他说 |
| [15:16] | “You can’t give me both your kidneys; you’ll die.” | 「你不能把两个肾都给我 你会死的」 |
| [15:18] | And I said, “But you will live. | 我说 「但你会活下去 |
| [15:20] | And I know we just met on this bus ten minutes ago, | 虽然我们十分钟前才在这辆巴士上认识 |
| [15:22] | but you seem nice.” | 但你看起来是个好人」 |
| [15:23] | Forget it. | 受不了 |
| [15:24] | Heading to the bar! | 我去喝酒了 |
| [15:29] | Thank you, thank you. | 谢谢 谢谢 |
| [15:31] | You all know that I am the architect of this neighborhood. | 大家都知道我是这个街区的建筑师 |
| [15:35] | But what you don’t know is… | 但你们不知道的是… |
| [15:37] | Golly, I’m not supposed to tell you this, but… | 天呐 我本不该告诉你们 但… |
| [15:40] | what the heck? | 管他呢 |
| [15:42] | This is actually the very first neighborhood that I have ever designed. | 这里实际上是我设计的第一个街区 |
| [15:46] | I had been an apprentice for over 200 years, | 我当学徒当了两百多年 |
| [15:50] | and my boss has finally given me my first solo project. | 我上司才交给我第一个独立制作的项目 |
| [15:55] | Yes! | 太棒了 |
| [15:59] | Hold on there, ace. | 等一下 宝贝儿 |
| [16:01] | Let me get more of them shrampies. | 让我多拿点大虾 |
| [16:02] | – Okay, easy. – What? | -悠着点 -怎么了 |
| [16:04] | They’re for everybody, right? | 人人都可以享用 不是吗 |
| [16:05] | Yes, exactly. | 是这样没错 |
| [16:06] | And you deserve a perfect world | 你们值得拥有一个完美的世界 |
| [16:09] | because every single one of you is a good person. | 因为这里的每个人都是好人 |
| [16:15] | That’s it for me. Back to you, Tahani. | 我说完了 接下来就交给你了 塔哈妮 |
| [16:17] | – Bravo, Michael, bravo! – Thank you. | -棒极了 迈克尔 棒极了 -谢谢你 |
| [16:20] | And I would just like to quickly say | 我简单说两句 |
| [16:22] | if any of you would like to play tennis tonight, | 如果有人今晚想打网球 |
| [16:25] | we have 36 regulation grass tennis courts. | 我们有36个草地网球场 |
| [16:28] | Such fun. Cheers. | 多爽啊 干杯 |
| [16:32] | Tahani, what a condescending bench. | 塔哈妮 装十三的「小表喵」 |
| [16:35] | – Okay, okay, okay, okay. – Am I right? | -行了 行了 -我说得对吧 |
| [16:36] | Why does she still have that British accent, right? | 她怎么还有英式口音啊 |
| [16:38] | No one else here has an accent. | 别人说话都不带口音 |
| [16:39] | She’s choosing to have that accent. | 她故意用英式口音说话 |
| [16:42] | “Hello. | 「您好 |
| [16:44] | I am just a big, beautiful, utterly perfect cartoon giraffe.” | 我就是个天生丽质难自弃的卡通长颈鹿」 |
| [16:49] | Okay. Okay. I think it’s time to go home. | 好了 好了 我们该回家了 |
| [16:53] | Wait, wait, wait. I just have to go upstairs real quick | 等下等下 我去趟楼上 很快回来 |
| [16:55] | and steal a bunch of gold stuff. | 我去偷一些金制品 |
| [16:57] | Okay, don’t do that. | 别这么做 |
| [17:00] | Don’t do…no, Eleanor, Eleanor, Eleanor. | 别这样 埃莉诺 埃莉诺 埃莉诺 |
| [17:04] | Hello, creepy house that I hate. | 我回来了 讨人厌的「鬼屋」 |
| [17:07] | Hello, one million clowns. | 全屋子的小丑们好啊 |
| [17:10] | Why aren’t there stairs here? | 为什么这里没台阶啊 |
| [17:16] | What kind of weirdo house is this? | 这是什么破房子啊 |
| [17:21] | – Did you fill your bra with shrimp? – No. | -你把虾藏进文胸里了吗 -没有 |
| [17:26] | Yes. Whatever, it’s freakin’ heaven. | 是啊 又能怎样 这里是天堂 |
| [17:29] | I’m sure they have plenty of shellfish. | 这种壳类海鲜多了去了 |
| [17:32] | That Tahani is a real butthead, huh? | 塔哈妮是个烦人精 对吧 |
| [17:36] | At least I can still say “butthead.” | 至少我还可以说「烦人精」 |
| [17:39] | She is a butthead. | 她是个烦人精 |
| [17:41] | Found some pajamas. | 找到了睡衣 |
| [17:45] | Chidi-Chidi, Chidi? | 奇迪 奇迪 奇迪 |
| [17:47] | I’m sorry that you had to deal with this… | 我很抱歉将你牵扯进来… |
| [17:51] | It’s okay. | 没关系 |
| [17:52] | It’s not, though. | 但其实不是 |
| [17:55] | Do you think anybody cared that I died? | 你觉得有人在意我死了吗 |
| [17:58] | Maybe someone did. | 也许有人吧 |
| [17:59] | I don’t know. | 我说不好 |
| [18:01] | I was an only child. | 我是个独子 |
| [18:02] | My parents were divorced when I was a kid. | 我小时候 父母就离婚了 |
| [18:04] | They were both crummy people, | 他俩都不咋地 |
| [18:06] | so they’re probably… | 所以也许他们… |
| [18:09] | in the Bad Place. | 下地狱了 |
| [18:11] | Maybe they’re being used to torture each other. | 也许他们在一起 用来折磨彼此 |
| [18:14] | It would work. | 肯定有用 |
| [18:17] | I bet way more people cared that you died. | 肯定有很多人在意你死了 |
| [18:20] | ‘Cause you’re a nice person. | 因为你是个好人 |
| [18:23] | You’re a nice person, Chidi… | 你是个好人 奇迪 |
| [18:26] | Anaconda. | 阿纳咔哒 |
| [18:29] | Anagonye. | 阿纳贡耶 |
| [18:30] | Aganocomonga. | 阿纳卡孟咖 |
| [18:32] | Anagonye. | 阿纳贡耶 |
| [18:33] | – Ags…say it again. – Anagonye. | -阿格… 再说一次 -阿纳贡耶 |
| [18:35] | No, say what you said before. | 不 你之前不是这么说的 |
| [18:36] | I did. It’s Anagonye. | 我是啊 是阿纳贡耶 |
| [18:38] | You just changed it. | 你刚改了 |
| [18:39] | I didn’t change it; it’s my name. | 我没改 这是我的名字 |
| [18:40] | Argrugande. Ariana Grande. | 阿纳格兰德 爱莉安娜·格兰德 |
| [18:43] | That’s a person. | 这是个名人哎 |
| [18:44] | I did it. | 我做到了 |
| [18:46] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [18:49] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [18:58] | Well, that’s terrifying. | 真吓人 |
| [19:11] | That can’t be good. | 感觉不妙啊 |
| [19:26] | Fork. | 他喵的 |
| [19:40] | Michael. | 迈克尔 |
| [19:41] | Is that giant, terrifying ladybug supposed to be there? | 那个巨大的吓人的瓢虫该在那里吗 |
| [19:45] | Well, great question, Tahani. | 问得好 塔哈妮 |
| [19:47] | No. No, it’s not. | 不应该 |
| [19:49] | I have no idea why any of this is happening | 我完全不知道发生了什么 |
| [19:51] | or how to control it. | 以及怎么控制 |
| [19:52] | Should we run away then? | 那我们该逃跑吗 |
| [19:54] | Yes. | 是啊 |
| [19:56] | Righto. | 好 |
| [20:16] | Chidi, Chidi! | 奇迪 奇迪 |
| [20:18] | What’s going on? | 怎么回事 |
| [20:19] | Why are there giant animals everywhere? | 怎么到处都是巨大的动物啊 |
| [20:21] | Do you hear Ariana Grande playing? | 你听到爱莉安娜·格兰德的歌声了吗 |
| [20:24] | Why is everyone wearing blue and yellow? | 为什么大家都穿蓝黄相间的衣服啊 |
| [20:27] | You’re not. | 你就没有啊 |
| [20:29] | You’re…you’re the only one who’s not. | 只有你没有穿 |
| [20:31] | Eleanor, this is all happening because of you. | 埃莉诺 这一切皆因你而起 |
| [20:36] | Fork me. | 他喵的 |
| [20:39] | Okay, okay. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [20:40] | We don’t know this is because of me. | 不能肯定这事就是因我而起 |
| [20:42] | Eleanor, this place is a perfectly made Swiss watch, | 埃莉诺 这地方就像是一块完美的瑞士表 |
| [20:45] | and you are a wrench in the gears. | 你就是扼住齿轮的扳手 |
| [20:47] | Actually, you’re a hammer, | 实际上 你是个锤子 |
| [20:48] | just smashing the gears into dust. | 将这一切都砸烂了 |
| [20:50] | Hang on. | 打住 |
| [20:51] | Not everybody here is perfect, okay? | 这里不都是完人 |
| [20:53] | Tahani is totally condescending. | 塔哈妮就有些装十三 |
| [20:55] | And there are a couple of, you know, chunksters. | 这里还有一些小胖子 |
| [20:59] | – Come on! – No judgment. | -你不是吧 -我不是品头论足 |
| [21:01] | I’m just saying I’m not the only one with flaws. | 就是想说 不止我一个人有缺点 |
| [21:04] | So how can we be sure this is my fault? | 怎么知道这就是我引出的祸 |
| [21:06] | You hogged all the shrimp, | 你独吞了所有的虾 |
| [21:08] | and now there are shrimp flying around. | 现在外面都处都虾在飞 |
| [21:10] | You called Tahani a giraffe, | 你管塔哈妮叫长颈鹿 |
| [21:12] | and now there are giraffes everywhere. | 如今到处都是长颈鹿 |
| [21:13] | Okay, fine, turns out there are many ways to know that it was me. | 好吧 看来很多证据都指向了我 |
| [21:16] | Let’s just face it, Eleanor, you don’t belong here. | 说真的 埃莉诺 你不属于这里 |
| [21:21] | Well, then this system sucks. | 那这个体系太差劲了 |
| [21:23] | What, one in a million gets to live in paradise | 凭什么只有百万分之一的人能够上天堂享福 |
| [21:26] | and everyone else is tortured for eternity? | 而其他人就得下地狱永世受折磨啊 |
| [21:28] | Come on. | 太不合理了 |
| [21:29] | I mean, I wasn’t freaking Gandhi, but I was okay. | 我确实不是甘地 但我也不算坏人 |
| [21:33] | I was a medium person. | 我就属于不好不坏那一类 |
| [21:36] | I should get to spend eternity in a medium place! | 我该永远待在好与坏的中间地带 |
| [21:39] | Like Cincinnati. | 像是辛辛那提 |
| [21:41] | Everyone who wasn’t perfect but wasn’t terrible | 每个不是圣人也不是坏人的人 |
| [21:43] | should get to spend eternity in Cincinnati. | 死后都该待在辛辛那提 |
| [21:45] | Look, apparently it doesn’t work that way. | 显然 没有这样的制度 |
| [21:47] | I’m sorry, Eleanor, but there’s nothing anyone can do. | 我很遗憾 埃莉诺 此事已无力回天 |
| [21:53] | Unless… | 除非… |
| [21:55] | there is something we can do. | 我们想到办法 |
| [21:57] | Unless you could teach me. | 你可以教我啊 |
| [22:00] | Teach you what? | 教你什么 |
| [22:01] | How to be good. | 怎么当一个好人 |
| [22:03] | That was your job, right? | 这是你生前的职业吧 |
| [22:04] | A professor of ethics? | 你是伦理学教授 |
| [22:06] | No one knew I was a problem when I arrived. | 我来时 没人知道我有问题 |
| [22:08] | Things only started getting crazy | 我在晚宴上表现像个「灰蛋」后 |
| [22:10] | after I was an ash-hole to everyone at the party. | 才开始出现问题 |
| [22:13] | You know I’m trying to say “ash-hole” | 你懂我想说「灰蛋」 |
| [22:15] | and not “ash-hole,” right? | 不是「灰蛋」吧 |
| [22:17] | I got that, yes. | 我懂 |
| [22:18] | Okay, give me a chance. | 好了 给我一个机会 |
| [22:20] | Let me earn my place here. | 让我赢得一席之地 |
| [22:22] | Let me be your ethical guinea pig. | 让我做你伦理学方面的小白鼠 |
| [22:25] | Hey, guys! | 各位 |
| [22:26] | Emergency neighborhood meeting, now! | 马上要召开紧急会议了 |
| [22:28] | We’ll be right there, Michael! | 我们马上过去 迈克尔 |
| [22:30] | If I walk out of here in these clothes, I’m toast. | 如果我穿着这身出去 我就完了 |
| [22:33] | My soul is in your hands, soul mate. | 我的灵魂掌握在你手里了 灵魂伴侣 |
| [22:36] | What’s it gonna be? | 你打算怎么做 |
| [22:41] | Stomachache. | 我胃疼啊 |