| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Good afternoon, Eleanor. What can I get you today? | 下午好 埃莉诺 想来点什么呢 |
| [00:05] | Lot of new flavors. | 这么多新口味啊 |
| [00:07] | Michael felt bad about the sinkhole, | 迈克尔对于裂洞一事很过意不去 |
| [00:08] | so he wanted to give you all a little treat. | 所以他想款待一下大家 |
| [00:10] | I recommend “Full Cell Phone Battery.” | 我推荐「满电风味」 |
| [00:16] | It somehow tastes how I felt | 味道就像 |
| [00:17] | when my cell phone was fully charged. | 我手机满电时的感觉 |
| [00:20] | I’m so relaxed. | 如释重负啊 |
| [00:22] | But they all look good. | 但感觉都好吃 |
| [00:23] | This might take me a while. | 我可能要琢磨一阵儿了 |
| [00:25] | You know what, Gunnar, why don’t you go ahead? | 加纳 你先点吧 |
| [00:27] | Thanks so much, Eleanor. | 多谢 埃莉诺 |
| [00:28] | – What can I get you, Gunnar? – Hi, Janet. | -加纳 想来点什么 –珍妮特 |
| [00:30] | – Can I have some Folded Laundry? – Coming up. | -我要「折好衣服风味」 -好的 |
| [00:42] | Chidi! | 奇迪 |
| [00:43] | You’ll never believe it. | 说了你都不信 |
| [00:44] | I was at the frozen yogurt place | 我刚才在酸奶冰淇淋店 |
| [00:46] | and I didn’t know what I wanted, | 我很纠结点什么 |
| [00:47] | so I turned to the guy behind me, and I was like, | 我就转身对后面的人说 |
| [00:48] | “Why don’t you go ahead?” | 「你先点吧」 |
| [00:50] | Just like that! “Why don’t you go ahead?” | 想都没想就说了 「你先点吧」 |
| [00:54] | O-okay? | 好吧 |
| [00:55] | Dude, you don’t understand! | 大哥 你不明白啊 |
| [00:56] | I never did stuff like that when I was on Earth. | 我生前从没做过这种事 |
| [00:58] | But now, thanks to your “good person” lessons, | 而如今多谢你「教我做好人」 |
| [01:01] | I didn’t hold up the line. | 我没让后面的人干等着 |
| [01:02] | I didn’t even try a dozen samples I didn’t want | 我都没试吃一堆我没兴趣的样品 |
| [01:05] | just to spite some jerk who told me I was holding up the line. | 就为了故意刁难说我拖延时间的衰人 |
| [01:07] | You do that? | 你会那样吗 |
| [01:08] | No, Chidi, I used to do that. | 不 奇迪 我以前会那样 |
| [01:11] | Now I do selfless things without even thinking about it. | 如今我不假思索地无私起来了 |
| [01:14] | That’s great. | 太棒了 |
| [01:15] | I-I’m proud of you. | 我为你骄傲 |
| [01:17] | So where’s our yogurt? | 酸奶呢 |
| [01:19] | I forgot it. | 我忘买了 |
| [01:22] | Can you go? | 你能去买吗 |
| [01:23] | I don’t want to go all the way back. | 我不想再回去了 |
| [01:24] | I ran all the way here and it was so hot. | 我一路跑回来 今天还很热 |
| [01:28] | I mean, I will happily get it, | 我愿意去买 |
| [01:31] | because I told you I would. | 因为我答应过你会买回来 |
| [01:35] | Good person. | 姐是好人 |
| [01:43] | So, to sum up: | 总结一下 |
| [01:44] | Utilitarianism posits that | 功利主义的论断是 |
| [01:46] | the correct choice is the one that causes the most good or pleasure, | 正确的选择是一定能带来快感 |
| [01:50] | and the least pain and suffering. | 以及最不痛苦的事 |
| [01:53] | I like this one. It’s simple. | 我喜欢这条 好简单 |
| [01:56] | Screw all the other complicated theories, | 还谈那些复杂的理论干什么啊 |
| [01:58] | why didn’t you start with this one? | 你怎么没先教这条呢 |
| [01:59] | But here’s the problem. | 但问题是 |
| [02:01] | If all that matters is the sum total of “goodness,” | 假设「至善总和」才是最重要的 |
| [02:04] | then you can justify any number of bad actions, | 那么一切恶行皆有开辩理由了 |
| [02:06] | like torturing one innocent person to save a hundred, | 例如 折磨一个人 从而拯救上百人 |
| [02:09] | or preemptive war… | 抑或发动战争… |
| [02:10] | Dip, I get it. | 我懂了 |
| [02:12] | It’s like, I knew this girl Sheila? | 我认识一个叫茜拉的女人 |
| [02:14] | She was a black market alligator dealer with a pierced jawbone. | 她在黑市卖鳄鱼 下巴还扎钉了 |
| [02:18] | Okay, what? | 你说啥呢 |
| [02:19] | Sheila was gonna get married to my boy, Donkey Doug | 茜拉本来要和我兄弟「傻强」结婚 |
| [02:22] | and make him move to Sarasota. | 还让他搬去萨拉索塔 |
| [02:24] | It would’ve broken up my whole break dancing crew | 如果搬了 我们整个舞队就散了 |
| [02:26] | and Donkey Doug was our best pop-and-locker. | 而「傻强」是队里的锁舞王牌 |
| [02:29] | So I hid a bunch of stolen boogie boards | 所以我偷了一些小冲浪板 |
| [02:31] | in Sheila’s garage and called the cops. | 藏在茜拉车库里 然后报了警 |
| [02:34] | I framed one innocent gator dealer | 我栽赃了一个被冤枉的鳄鱼贩子 |
| [02:36] | to save a 60-person dance crew. | 拯救了一支六十人的舞队 |
| [02:39] | Shockingly, that is a relevant example | 令人震惊的是 你说的还真是个 |
| [02:42] | of the Utilitarian dilemma. | 功利主义两难的例子 |
| [02:43] | – Well done. – Thanks! | -很棒 -谢谢 |
| [02:47] | – Yes, Jianyu? – Can I be excused? | -请说 建宇 -我能提前下课吗 |
| [02:49] | Tahani’s doing a brunch party and I want to get there | 塔哈妮准备了早午餐宴 我想赶过去 |
| [02:51] | before all the mini-waffles run out. | 趁迷你华夫饼还没被吃光 |
| [02:53] | – Go ahead, man. – Yes! | -去吧 -太好了 |
| [02:57] | So, you want to roll right into another lesson? | 可以讲下一堂课了吗 |
| [03:00] | I am revved up to learn, man. | 我求学若渴啊 |
| [03:02] | My brain is horny! | 脑子饥渴了 |
| [03:04] | Can we take a little break? | 休息一下吧 |
| [03:05] | I’ve been standing at this chalkboard all day. | 我在黑板前已经站了一天了 |
| [03:07] | Yeah, I get it. | 好 行 |
| [03:08] | You could, grade my paper I wrote | 我写了一篇「达摩」论文 |
| [03:10] | on the concept of Dharma. | 你可以打个分 |
| [03:11] | Six pages, | 六页纸呢 |
| [03:12] | and I didn’t even do that thing where I try to make it longer | 我都没为了硬凑字数 |
| [03:15] | by starting every sentence with “interestingly…” | 每句话前都写上「有意思的是…」 |
| [03:18] | Sure, I’ll do that and… | 行 我会看… |
| [03:21] | we can start another lesson. | 我们再开始下一课 |
| [03:27] | Tahani. | 塔哈妮 |
| [03:28] | I’ve been working on my Western Hemisphere brunch banter. | 我一直在研究西半球早午餐的交往技巧 |
| [03:31] | Tell me what you think. | 拿你练手吧 |
| [03:33] | That “New Yorker” article was crazy. | 《纽约客》那篇文章太扯了 |
| [03:36] | You haven’t seen “Hamilton”? | 你还没看过《汉密尔顿》「音乐剧」吗 |
| [03:38] | Hey, did you hear about Stephanie? | 你听说史黛芬妮「歌手」的绯闻了吗 |
| [03:39] | – Very well done, Michael. – Hi, there! | -真棒啊 迈克尔 -你好 |
| [03:42] | We have a Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis. | 目前出现了第五十五项紧急末日危机 |
| [03:47] | A Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis? | 第五十五项紧急末日危机吗 |
| [03:50] | Sorry, what is a Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis? | 等一下 什么是第五十五项紧急末日危机 |
| [03:54] | It’s nothing, it’s a tiny little inconvenience. | 没啥 就是个小问题 |
| [03:56] | Tahani, dear, could you show us | 亲爱的塔哈妮 你能不能 |
| [03:59] | to a private room where no one can see or hear us, | 带我们去一间隐蔽且隔音的房间 |
| [04:01] | even if I yell very loudly out of fear? | 即便我吓得大叫 也没人能听见 |
| [04:09] | It appears that the sinkhole is not repairing itself. | 看来裂洞没有自我修复 |
| [04:09] | 第五十五项 裂洞 | |
| [04:12] | This is very bad, Janet. | 情况不妙了 珍妮特 |
| [04:14] | We have to go into the sinkhole and fix it by hand. | 我们得进入裂洞 人工修复了 |
| [04:17] | Get the tools. | 去准备工具 |
| [04:18] | Sorry, can I be of any service? | 打扰了 我能帮上忙吗 |
| [04:20] | 「善地」街区 编号12358W 完整技术手册 高度机密 | |
| [04:21] | Tahani. | 塔哈妮 |
| [04:22] | Didn’t see you there. no, no. | 没想到你来了 不用了 |
| [04:24] | We’re just having a slight problem with the enormous sinkhole. | 那个巨大的裂洞 有点小问题 |
| [04:28] | Yes, I meant to tell you… | 对 我之前想说来着… |
| [04:30] | I walked past it last night | 我昨晚经过那里 |
| [04:31] | and I actually saw it get a little bit bigger. | 结果看到裂洞变大了 |
| [04:35] | It got bigger? | 变大了吗 |
| [04:36] | Well, that’s… that’s so normal. | 这很正常 |
| [04:39] | This is the reaction I have when things | 此事很常见 也是预料之中 |
| [04:40] | are incredibly mundane and expected. | 我一般都是这个反应 |
| [04:43] | I’m gonna leave now… | 我要走了 |
| [04:44] | at my regular pace, | 淡定地走开 |
| [04:46] | as I do in most scenarios. | 如同往常 |
| [04:50] | 「善地」街区 编号12358W 完整技术手册 高度机密 | |
| [04:56] | Finally! | 总算出来了 |
| [04:57] | Let’s get back to it. | 继续上课吧 |
| [04:59] | Whip out that chalkboard, big boy, | 亮出小黑板吧 这位少侠 |
| [05:00] | show me what you’re working with. | 用你的智慧 让我开眼吧 |
| [05:02] | Actually, I was going to head into town and pick up some… | 其实 我是想去市中心拿些… |
| [05:06] | blankets. | 毯子 |
| [05:07] | Great, I’ll grab my sweater. | 好 我去拿外衣 |
| [05:09] | I can practice letting people cut in front of me. | 我可以练习让别人插队 |
| [05:11] | You know, I just realized | 我刚意识到 |
| [05:12] | that I have blankets, so I’m going to take a nap | 我有毯子 所以我准备去睡一小觉 |
| [05:16] | using the several blankets that I already have. | 用我已有的几条毛毯盖着 |
| [05:18] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [05:21] | What’s wrong? Out with it. | 你什么情况 直说吧 |
| [05:23] | I’m just tired, need a break. | 我就是有点累 需要休息一下 |
| [05:25] | No big deal. | 没什么事 |
| [05:26] | The way you’re talking to me right now? | 你现在这副样子 |
| [05:27] | “Everything’s cool, no big deal”. I know that move. | 「没事啊 没啥啊」 我清楚这一套 |
| [05:30] | When I told a boyfriend something was “No big deal,” | 我跟男友说「没什么」时 |
| [05:33] | it meant anything from “I just bought weed from your nephew,” | 一般都是从「你侄子刚卖给我一些大麻」 |
| [05:36] | to “I secretly befriended your ex-girlfriend last year, | 到「我去年瞒着你 跟你前女友成闺蜜了 |
| [05:39] | things got out of hand, and now I’m her bridesmaid.” | 结果发展太好 她邀我当伴娘了」 |
| [05:41] | Wow. | 长见识了 |
| [05:42] | Okay, well, in this case, it really is no big deal. | 跟你的事迹相比 我是真没事 |
| [05:45] | Dude, you’re hiding something! | 大哥 你有事隐瞒啊 |
| [05:47] | – What’s wrong? – Nothing! | -怎么回事 -没事 |
| [05:50] | What… is… wrong? | 到底有什么事 |
| [06:04] | Jianyu second. | 建宇第二位 |
| [06:06] | Well done, my love. | 真棒 不愧是我男人 |
| [06:09] | So where am I? | 我第几位呢 |
| [06:11] | Eleanor… 6th? | 埃莉诺第六位 |
| [06:13] | Come on. | 不是吧 |
| [06:23] | No. | 不 |
| [06:25] | I’m second to last. | 我倒数第二位 |
| [06:28] | Mummy, I made you this. | 妈妈 这是我为你画的 |
| [06:29] | It’s the pretty bird we saw in the garden. | 这是我们在花园看到的漂亮鸟儿 |
| [06:32] | Thank you, Tahani. It’s very competent. | 谢谢你 塔哈妮 画得不错 |
| [06:36] | I made a bird, as well. | 我也完成了一只小鸟 |
| [06:37] | I worked in a reflective alloy, | 用反光合金制成 |
| [06:39] | holding up a mirror to mankind | 为人类高悬一面镜子 |
| [06:41] | and its mistreatment of these defenseless animals. | 让其反思虐待动物的行为 |
| [06:43] | Excellent, Kamilah. | 太优秀了 卡米拉 |
| [06:45] | I sense the influence of Brancusi and Kapoor. | 有布朗库西「雕塑家」和卡普尔「导演」的风采啊 |
| [06:49] | It seems you’re moving out of your structural period, | 看来你已经走出了构造阶段 |
| [06:51] | and more into conceptual abstraction. | 更倾向抽象概念了 |
| [06:53] | Good eye, Mother. | 好眼力 母亲 |
| [06:54] | I grew tired of objective representation. | 我不愿再展示客观呈现了 |
| [06:56] | I trust my audience. | 我相信受众有眼光 |
| [06:58] | My birdie has a hat. | 我画的鸟儿戴了帽子 |
| [07:00] | Yes, well done, Tahani. | 知道了 真不错 塔哈妮 |
| [07:04] | – What’s wrong? – Nothing’s wrong. | -到底怎么了 -没什么 |
| [07:08] | Would you stop doing that? | 你能消停一下吗 |
| [07:09] | – Okay, fine! – What’s wrong? | -行 行 -到底怎么了 |
| [07:10] | You want to know what’s wrong? | 你想知道怎么回事吗 |
| [07:11] | You are a full-time job. | 你是个「全职大麻烦」 |
| [07:13] | I wake up, there’s Eleanor. | 我每天醒来 埃莉诺在眼前 |
| [07:15] | I spend all day teaching Eleanor. | 然后教埃莉诺 教一整天 |
| [07:17] | And then it’s, “Good night, Eleanor.” | 一直教到晚上 才去睡觉 |
| [07:19] | This is a nice dream, my grandma’s here. | 做梦时 梦到我奶奶 真好 |
| [07:21] | Wait, she’s got Eleanor’s face! | 不对 那是埃莉诺的脸 |
| [07:23] | And tentacles for some reason. | 还不知为何长着触手 |
| [07:24] | I thought you liked teaching me. | 我还以为你喜欢教我 |
| [07:27] | So now I’m just some huge burden for you? | 如今变成了你的累赘了吗 |
| [07:29] | Yes! | 是啊 |
| [07:30] | Of course you are! | 就是累赘啊 |
| [07:31] | I am in paradise! | 我都上天堂了 |
| [07:32] | I should be doing paradise things, | 我应该尽享天堂之乐 |
| [07:34] | like rowing out on a lake with a good bottle of wine, | 比如游船于湖中 怡然自得 品着小酒 |
| [07:37] | reading French poetry. | 吟诗作赋 |
| [07:38] | That’s your idea of paradise? | 你这叫天堂享乐啊 |
| [07:40] | You know, and I can’t stop helping you, | 我必须要继续帮你 |
| [07:43] | because then I am shirking my ethical duty. | 因为不帮 就是逃避道德责任 |
| [07:45] | It’s an impossible position! | 骑虎难下 备受煎熬啊 |
| [07:47] | You know what, if you’re so stressed from writing on a chalkboard | 如果你觉得教书让你心力交瘁 |
| [07:50] | why don’t you just leave? | 那你就走啊 |
| [07:51] | We can pretend to be soul mates in public, | 我们可以对外假装是灵魂伴侣 |
| [07:53] | but other than that, we don’t have to see each other! | 但私下里 根本不用见面 |
| [07:55] | Fine with me! I’ll move out right now. | 我没意见 马上就搬走 |
| [07:56] | Fine! | 好 |
| [07:58] | Good afternoon. | 下午好 |
| [07:59] | As you all may remember | 大家都知道 |
| [08:01] | a sinkhole recently opened up in the town center. | 市中心最近出现了一个裂洞 |
| [08:04] | The situation, sadly, has worsened. | 遗憾的是 情况恶化了 |
| [08:07] | Starting right now, no one may go outside | 现在开始 不管发生什么事 |
| [08:09] | under any circumstances. | 大家都不能外出 |
| [08:11] | Leaving your homes could result in catastrophic damage, | 走出家门 可能会引起灾难性事件 |
| [08:15] | to you and to the very fabric of the universe. | 置你与全宇宙于险境之中 |
| [08:18] | Okay, bye. | 就这样 |
| [08:20] | Or we could both just stay here. | 这下都要待在这里了 |
| [08:25] | We hope you enjoy your eternal stay in the Good Place. | 衷心希望你在「善地」生活幸福 |
| [08:29] | Take advantage of our day spa | 水疗中心 供您享受 |
| [08:31] | or Janet a magical assistant who can get you whatever you want. | 珍妮特 解您一切之需 |
| [08:36] | You mind turning that off? | 能关掉吗 |
| [08:37] | It’s been playing on a loop for two days. | 同一段视频连着播两天了 |
| [08:39] | The whole Neighborhood is offline. | 全街区都掉线了 |
| [08:41] | We only get the welcome channel. | 只能看「迎新视频」了 |
| [08:43] | I would love to not watch TV, | 我倒是不想看电视 |
| [08:46] | but you canceled school. | 但你也不教学了 |
| [08:49] | What have you done to me, you monster? | 我什么时候变得爱学习了 都怪你 |
| [08:52] | Look at all these dishes piling up. | 碗盘都堆成山了 |
| [08:55] | I used to just throw them in the sink, | 我之前都直接扔进水池 |
| [08:56] | and they’d be magically cleaned by morning. | 等早上醒来 就会发现都奇迹般地干净了 |
| [08:59] | I did that. I cleaned the dishes. | 因为我洗了 我把碗盘都洗了 |
| [09:02] | Then what’s up with these bad boys? | 那这些碗盘是怎么回事 |
| [09:03] | You are unbelievable. | 你真是人间极品 |
| [09:06] | Are you still upset? | 你还生气呢 |
| [09:07] | – You’re not over it yet? – How can I be over it? | -还没翻篇吗 -怎么翻啊 |
| [09:09] | We haven’t discussed it or even spoken for days. | 我们都好几天没说过话了 |
| [09:12] | Well, it sounds like you’ve had | 听起来你是过了一个 |
| [09:13] | a really nice vacation from your full-time job. | 没有「全职大麻烦」的假期啊 |
| [09:16] | Get your story straight, bro! | 把话给我讲清楚吧 |
| [09:18] | Hey, guys, it’s Michael. | 两位 我是迈克尔 |
| [09:21] | Hi, Michael, what a lovely surprise. | 迈克尔 你怎么过来了啊 |
| [09:24] | I’d love to make small talk | 我也想叙叙旧 |
| [09:26] | I’ve been practicing, too. I’m amazing at it. | 我最近在提升交际技能 表现不俗呢 |
| [09:27] | But I’m in a bit of a rush here. | 但我还有急事 |
| [09:29] | This is Bart and Nina. | 这是巴特和妮娜 |
| [09:31] | They live right next door to the, sinkhole, | 他们刚好就住在裂洞附近 |
| [09:34] | so they obviously need a place to stay. | 所以得安置一下他们 |
| [09:36] | I was wondering, as my assistant, | 你是我的助理 我就想 |
| [09:38] | maybe you could put them up for a while? | 能不能让他们在你家住几天 |
| [09:39] | Of course. | 没问题 |
| [09:41] | Don’t… don’t think twice. | 这必须可以 |
| [09:42] | Okay, shouldn’t take long. | 好 就暂住一阵子而已 |
| [09:43] | Between an hour and… 11 months. | 一个小时… 到十一个月之间吧 |
| [09:46] | Somewhere in there. Okay, bye. | 就这个期间吧 我走了 |
| [09:50] | Don’t go outside. | 千万别外出 |
| [09:59] | Hello, everyone, and welcome to day three of our brunch siege. | 各位好 欢迎出席困在室内的早午餐第三天 |
| [10:03] | I stayed up all night to plan a full day of fun activities. | 我一整晚没睡 为大家准备了一天有趣的活动 |
| [10:07] | Just check the schedule I made. | 看下我制作的活动表就可以了 |
| [10:10] | Tahani, you are truly the best. | 塔哈妮 你最棒了 |
| [10:13] | Yes, you would think so, wouldn’t you, Henriette? | 一般人都会这么想 对吧 昂里埃特 |
| [10:19] | Still second to last. | 还是倒第二啊 |
| [10:26] | Tahani! | 塔哈妮 |
| [10:28] | This auction threatens to be an embarrassing failure. | 这场拍卖很可能会以失败告终 颜面扫地 |
| [10:31] | 5.2 million isn’t bad. | 五百二十万 这成绩不错啊 |
| [10:34] | It’s very “Middle-thermometer.” | 太中规中矩了 |
| [10:36] | Your public failure is our public failure. | 你搞砸 会让整个家族跟着蒙羞 |
| [10:41] | You know what has to be done. | 你知道该怎么做吧 |
| [10:43] | I’m very pleased to announce that | 我很开心地宣布 |
| [10:45] | there has been an addition to today’s docket. | 今日拍卖还有附加项 |
| [10:49] | I’m sure you all know my sister, Kamilah. | 大家都认识我姐卡米拉吧 |
| [10:55] | Yes. Kamilah. | 卡米拉 |
| [10:57] | Kamilah, of course, | 卡米拉呢 |
| [10:58] | is the youngest person ever to graduate from Oxford University, | 她是牛津大学史上最年轻的毕业生 |
| [11:01] | she’s a world-class painter, social activist, iconoclast, | 国际一流画家 社会运动者 打破旧习者 |
| [11:05] | Olympic gold medalist for archery, | 奥运会射箭冠军 |
| [11:08] | a BAFTA Award-winner for her documentary | 专辑获「格莱美奖」后 将其拍成记录片 |
| [11:11] | on her Grammy Award-winning album, | 又获得了「英国电影电视艺术学院奖」 |
| [11:13] | and the person voted “Most Likely to be Banksy.” | 还被选为「第二个班克西」 |
| [11:18] | So without further ado, | 我就不啰嗦了 |
| [11:21] | take it away from me! | 抢走我的一切吧 |
| [11:22] | Sorry, I mean take it away, Kamilah. | 口误了 接走话筒吧 卡米拉 |
| [11:28] | I am auctioning off a lunch date with me. | 我要拍卖「跟我一同吃午餐」的机会 |
| [11:32] | The bidding shall commence at 3 million pounds. | 从三百万英镑起价 |
| [11:37] | 5 million! | 五百万 |
| [11:46] | Thank you guys so much. | 太感谢你们了 |
| [11:48] | Sorry for the imposition. | 给你们添麻烦了 |
| [11:51] | Well, if you want to know the truth, | 如果要说实话 |
| [11:52] | we asked Michael if we could stay with you. | 是我们主动过来跟你住的 |
| [11:54] | We are obsessed with your relationship. | 我们对你俩的关系充满好奇 |
| [11:56] | Always whispering, locking yourself in the house all day. | 总有说不完的悄悄话 如胶似漆地待在家中 |
| [11:59] | I thought I was an expert in true love ’cause of my old job, | 因为生前的职业 我还自诩真爱专家 |
| [12:02] | but I have a lot to learn from you guys. | 但我还得向你们学习啊 |
| [12:05] | Your job? What was your job? | 你的职业 是什么工作啊 |
| [12:06] | I was a marriage counselor. | 我生前是婚姻咨询师 |
| [12:08] | You could say I wrote the book on healthy relationships. | 可以说 我专门写亲密关系之类的书 |
| [12:11] | And I did! | 我确实写过 |
| [12:13] | It’s called, | 书名是 |
| [12:14] | “How to Spot Problems in a Marriage from 100 Miles Away.” | 《如何一眼就能瞧出婚姻问题》 |
| [12:18] | Cool. | 真棒 |
| [12:19] | – Really cool. – Cool. | -真好 -很不错 |
| [12:20] | – Really, really cool. – Cool, cool. | -特别好 -非常不错 |
| [12:22] | And what about you, Bart? | 你呢 巴特 |
| [12:23] | Well, my job wasn’t nearly as interesting. | 我的职业就没这么有意思了 |
| [12:25] | I started a company that investigated identity theft. | 我创办了一家专门追查「盗用身份」的公司 |
| [12:28] | Analyzing body language, | 分析肢体语言 |
| [12:29] | tracking and catching people pretending to be someone they’re not. | 追踪抓获那些盗用别人身份的人 |
| [12:32] | It’s.. snooze, am I right? | 很枯燥吧 |
| [12:36] | They’re gonna catch us! | 他们会识破我们 |
| [12:37] | This is an extremely precarious situation! | 目前的处境岌岌可危啊 |
| [12:40] | I am vexed, Eleanor! | 我六神无主了 埃莉诺 |
| [12:41] | A marriage counselor and a human lie detector | 一个婚姻咨询师和一个行走的测谎仪 |
| [12:44] | isn’t my first choice for company, either. | 我也不想跟他们待在一起 |
| [12:46] | But they have no reason to suspect us! | 但他们有什么理由怀疑我们 |
| [12:48] | Plus, I think they may have actually just come here | 另外 我觉得他们找我们 |
| [12:52] | to, you know, swing. | 是想玩换妻游戏 |
| [12:56] | I say we do it. | 要不就换吧 |
| [12:57] | It’ll get ’em to stop asking questions. | 这样一来 他们就不会问东问西了 |
| [12:59] | No, I am not going to have sex with someone | 我才不要为了逃避问题 |
| [13:01] | to get them to stop talking to me! | 而跟别人滚床单呢 |
| [13:03] | Really? You and I are very different. | 是吗 咱俩真是大相径庭 |
| [13:05] | Yeah, I noticed! | 是啊 我看出来了 |
| [13:07] | You know what, man? | 好吧 大哥 |
| [13:08] | I have spent every second in this place | 我来「善地」以后 |
| [13:10] | worried I was gonna get caught, | 一直担心被人识破 |
| [13:11] | but if we go down right now, | 如果这时完蛋了 |
| [13:12] | that’s on you, okay? | 就全都是你的错 |
| [13:14] | You spend all your time teaching a charming, awesome lady? | 成天去教一个迷人讨喜的妹子 |
| [13:17] | How sad for you. | 这给你「委屈」的 |
| [13:18] | Face it, dude. | 认清现实吧 大哥 |
| [13:20] | I’m the best thing that ever happened to you. | 遇上我 就是你最大的福气 |
| [13:22] | Because guess what, Chidi? | 因为 明说了 奇迪 |
| [13:23] | – Ya basic! – Eleanor… | -你根本不上档次 -埃莉诺 |
| [13:26] | Yeah, I know, you want to do that thing | 行了 我知道 |
| [13:28] | where we’re arguing and fighting, | 你想大吵一架 |
| [13:29] | but then suddenly it’s like, “This is hot,” | 然后突然觉得很兴奋 |
| [13:31] | and we start making out. | 开始亲热起来 |
| [13:32] | Dream on! | 你想得美 |
| [13:34] | Or, whatever, fine, let’s just do it. | 行了 直接来吧 |
| [13:35] | No, Eleanor, look. | 不 埃莉诺 你瞧 |
| [13:43] | So how much of that did you hear? | 你们听到了多少啊 |
| [13:46] | We couldn’t hear you | 没听见 |
| [13:46] | but I’m an expert in non-verbal communication, and it is clear… | 但我在非语言交际方面很在行 显然… |
| [13:50] | you are in conflict. | 你俩吵架了 |
| [13:51] | We’re not judging you. | 我们不会品头论足 |
| [13:52] | This has been a tough couple of weeks. | 这几周出了很多事 |
| [13:54] | I’m sure the stress of the sinkhole | 裂洞一事 大家都很焦虑 |
| [13:56] | has caused lots of soul mate squabbles. | 很多情侣都出现摩擦了 |
| [13:58] | Yes, that’s what it is. | 对 就是这样 |
| [14:00] | A squabble. | 小摩擦 |
| [14:02] | – We’re squabbling. – Squabble, squabble! | -小摩擦啦 -小摩擦而已 |
| [14:04] | I can help. | 我能帮忙 |
| [14:05] | I’m gonna take your relationship and put it under a microscope | 我会开启火眼金睛 审视你们的关系 |
| [14:08] | and dig and poke and prod | 剖析一切 不放过任何细节 |
| [14:11] | until you are back to soul mate harmony. | 直到你们重归于好 |
| [14:14] | Eleanor, why don’t you… | 埃莉诺 你先来… |
| [14:15] | She never does the dishes. I have to do them all the time. | 她从不洗碗 永远都是我来洗 |
| [14:18] | We just have different interests. | 我们就是想法不同而已 |
| [14:21] | I like relaxing, | 我喜欢享清闲 |
| [14:22] | he likes getting on my case about the dishes. | 他却想让我去洗碗 |
| [14:25] | I’m getting a lot of repressed anger. | 我感觉到压抑的怒火了 |
| [14:26] | I suspected this when I arrived, but now I’m sure. | 我刚来时 就有所察觉 现在确定了 |
| [14:29] | You are hiding something. | 你有事隐瞒 |
| [14:32] | What on earth would I be… | 我能有什么… |
| [14:33] | No, no, no, not you. | 不不 不是你 |
| [14:35] | Him. | 是他 |
| [14:39] | “Please go back inside.” | 「请待在室内」 |
| [14:41] | “It isn’t safe to be out of your home.” | 「外出不安全」 |
| [14:44] | “Please go back inside.” | 「请待在室内」 |
| [14:45] | Janet, could you see what’s wrong? | 珍妮特 能瞧出问题所在吗 |
| [14:47] | Everything. | 全都有问题 |
| [14:52] | My goodness! | 我的天呐 |
| [14:53] | It’s even worse than I thought. | 比我想象中还要严重啊 |
| [14:54] | Tahani, what’re you doing here? | 塔哈妮 你怎么来了 |
| [14:56] | Well, everyone else might be okay staying inside, | 别人觉得待在室内无所谓 |
| [14:58] | but I wanted to help. | 而我却想来帮忙 |
| [14:59] | So I’ve brought some cheer and sustenance | 所以我给你们带了些点心 |
| [15:02] | to raise your spirits. | 给你们鼓劲儿 |
| [15:03] | Look, I made donut holes. | 我做了甜甜圈「洞」 |
| [15:05] | Do you get it? “Donut holes”? | 懂梗在哪里吗 「甜甜洞」 |
| [15:07] | Sinkhole. | 裂洞 |
| [15:09] | – Funny, no? – No, too soon. | -不好笑吗 -嗯 很不合时宜 |
| [15:11] | By exactly nine days. | 玩笑开得早了九天呢 |
| [15:12] | Tahani, this sinkhole is incredibly dangerous. | 塔哈妮 裂洞很危险 |
| [15:15] | If a human gets too close to it, | 如果人类靠近 |
| [15:17] | there could be disastrous side effects. | 会产生严重的副作用 |
| [15:21] | What’s… what’s happening to me? | 我这是咋了啊 |
| [15:23] | That’s one of the side effects. | 这就是副作用之一 |
| [15:24] | Janet, knock her out while we still have time. | 珍妮特 赶紧敲晕她 不然就晚了 |
| [15:26] | Knock me out? What does that… | 敲晕我 什么意… |
| [15:32] | Guys, really, it’s no big deal. | 各位 真没什么事 |
| [15:35] | “It’s not a big deal” is nearly always code | 「没什么事」 的言外之意 |
| [15:38] | for “something is wrong.” | 永远是「出问题了」 |
| [15:40] | Boom! That’s what I said. | 瞧啊 我之前就这么说的 |
| [15:42] | I should’ve been a marriage counselor. | 姐这么有天赋 该去当婚姻咨询师 |
| [15:43] | Okay, Chidi, out with it. | 好了 奇迪 讲出来吧 |
| [15:45] | What is so unsatisfying about your soul mate relationship? | 你跟灵魂伴侣之间 有什么不满 |
| [15:48] | Be honest, Chidi. | 说实话 奇迪 |
| [15:50] | Be, like, the exact right amount of honest | 「不过火」的实话就行 |
| [15:54] | so that we can both be happy. | 这样我们都能开心 |
| [15:59] | I never had a soul mate on earth. | 我生前没遇到过灵魂伴侣 |
| [16:02] | I-I never even really had a girlfriend that I “loved”. | 我都从没交往过一个深爱的女友 |
| [16:08] | And when I got here, | 来「善地」后 |
| [16:09] | and Michael said I would finally meet my actual soul mate, | 迈克尔跟我说 我终于有灵魂伴侣了 |
| [16:12] | I was so excited. | 我很激动 |
| [16:14] | And it isn’t… | 但现实是… |
| [16:17] | exactly… what I thought. | 跟我想的有所出入 |
| [16:20] | You’ve never had an intense relationship before. | 你从没经历过刻骨铭心的爱恋 |
| [16:23] | This is all uncharted territory. | 这对你来说很陌生 |
| [16:26] | No wonder you’re so tense. | 所以你才这么放不开 |
| [16:29] | You know, Nina and I are skilled in the art of massage. | 我和妮娜两人的按摩技术一流 |
| [16:33] | Not erotic massage. | 不是情色按摩 |
| [16:35] | Althogh it can be, and it often leads there anyway… | 也可以是 毕竟最终都会按到床上… |
| [16:37] | Okay, well, you know what? | 好了 是这样 |
| [16:39] | You guys have given us so much to think about. | 你们深深启发了我们 |
| [16:42] | And I think we should go to bed. | 我们该去睡觉了 |
| [16:43] | Just the two of us, alone. Just us. | 就我们俩 我们单独去睡 |
| [16:46] | I know it’s not the right time, but I told you. | 这时候不该打你脸 但被我说中了吧 |
| [16:49] | Tahani, wake up, dear. | 塔哈妮 醒醒 |
| [16:52] | Michael. | 迈克尔 |
| [16:54] | Did it work? | 搞定了吗 |
| [16:55] | Did I fix the sinkhole? Am I a heroine? | 我修复了裂洞吗 我是大救星吗 |
| [16:58] | No, you did something catastrophically stupid | 不是 你做了一件极其没有脑回路的事 |
| [17:01] | and we had to knock you unconscious. | 我们被迫把你敲晕 |
| [17:03] | Why in the world did you go outside? | 你为什么要外出啊 |
| [17:05] | Because I saw the rankings in the manual. | 因为我在技术手册上看到了我的排名 |
| [17:08] | That manual is only meant to be seen by | 只有建筑师本人和珍妮特 |
| [17:10] | Architects and Janets. | 才能看手册啊 |
| [17:12] | It’s got some very sensitive material. | 里面都是高度机密 |
| [17:15] | Plus some song lyrics I’ve been working on, | 还有一些我最近写的歌词 |
| [17:17] | and I’d rather not let people see those until they’re finished. | 写完之前 我不想让人看见 |
| [17:21] | Anyway, why did seeing the rankings unravel you so? | 话说 为什么看见排名让你如此烦忧 |
| [17:28] | I was so sorry to hear of your parents’ passing. | 对你父母去世一事 请节哀顺变 |
| [17:31] | Please bear with me as I share their last will and testament. | 我还是得宣读他们的遗嘱 |
| [17:35] | “To Kamilah, we have left 68 million pounds, | 我们留给卡米拉六千八百万英镑 |
| [17:38] | the home in Kensington, the yacht, | 肯辛顿的豪宅 游艇 |
| [17:40] | and other assorted weekend boats.” | 以及其它游船 |
| [17:43] | Well, what did they leave their second favorite child? | 他们给第二宠爱的孩子留了什么 |
| [17:46] | There’s still quite a lot of… money and property that goes to you. | 还是很多金钱与房产归你所有 |
| [17:49] | There is one issue, however. | 但有一个问题 |
| [17:52] | They have, spelled your name incorrectly in the will. | 他们在遗嘱里把你的名字写错了 |
| [17:56] | You’ve got to be kidding me. | 你闹我呢 |
| [17:57] | It says, “We bequeath the rest of our estate to Tahini.” | 这里写着「将余下房产留给塔黑妮」 |
| [18:00] | “Like the sauce.” | 「就像那个中东芝麻酱」 |
| [18:02] | You know what? | 好吧 |
| [18:04] | I don’t want the money. | 这钱我不要了 |
| [18:05] | My sister can have it all. | 全都给我姐吧 |
| [18:08] | My whole life, I have lived in your shadow, | 我这一世都活在你的影子之中 |
| [18:11] | but now I’m going to step out of it. | 如今 我要走出来了 |
| [18:13] | I am going to achieve heights of success and sophistication | 我要出人头地 功成名就 |
| [18:17] | that you can only dream of. | 让你无法企及 |
| [18:18] | Your cardigan’s on inside out. | 你外套穿反了 |
| [18:20] | I know! | 我知道 |
| [18:21] | It’s a new trend that I am starting. | 这是我主引的新潮流 |
| [18:24] | Just one example of how I’m going to step out of your shadow. | 刚好证明了 我会如何走出你的影子 |
| [18:30] | I’m sorry that I looked at the rankings, Michael. | 看了排名 我很抱歉 迈克尔 |
| [18:33] | But I just don’t understand how I’m so low. | 但我就是不懂我怎么排这么低 |
| [18:36] | My entire life, I have tried to be extraordinary, | 我生前一直努力成就杰出 |
| [18:39] | but it just never seemed to be enough. | 但感觉怎么做 都不够啊 |
| [18:42] | And you thought you could increase your ranking | 你以为通过修复裂洞 |
| [18:45] | by helping us fix the sinkhole. | 就能提高排名了 |
| [18:48] | Tahani, the point evaluations stop the moment you die. | 塔哈妮 你死的那一刻 评分就结束了 |
| [18:53] | But also, out of literally billions, | 但几十亿人中 |
| [18:57] | you were one of the most remarkable people on Earth. | 你仍脱颖而出 成为了杰出人士 |
| [19:01] | You have nothing left to prove, to anyone. | 你不用再向别人证明自己的价值了 |
| [19:05] | Hi, there. | 你好 |
| [19:06] | The sinkhole has begun to repair itself. | 裂洞开始自我修复了 |
| [19:09] | It has? | 是吗 |
| [19:10] | – Could it be… – But how… | -会不会是… -但怎么… |
| [19:11] | Did I…? | 是我… |
| [19:12] | – “Tahani saves the un…” – No, no, no. | -塔哈妮拯救了… -行了 行了 |
| [19:14] | Still not you. You have nothing to do with it. | 仍然跟你无关 没你什么事 |
| [19:16] | We’ve got to leave immediately. | 我们得赶紧走 |
| [19:19] | “It’s now safe to go outside.” | 「外出安全了」 |
| [19:22] | “It’s now safe to go outside.” | 「外出安全了」 |
| [19:25] | “It’s now safe to go outside.” | 「外出安全了」 |
| [19:29] | – Morning, teach! – Morning. | -老师早 -早 |
| [19:32] | What’s this about? | 这是什么情况 |
| [19:34] | Well, here’s what I realized. | 我意识到一事 |
| [19:35] | It’s not just that helping me is a full-time job that you feel you have to do. | 我不仅是你甩不掉的「全职大麻烦」 |
| [19:40] | The real problem is, that the more you help me, | 真正的问题是 你越帮我 |
| [19:43] | the greater the chance is that I can stay here, | 我就越有可能留下来 |
| [19:45] | and me staying here means | 我留下 就表示 |
| [19:48] | you’ll never get a real soul mate. | 你无法跟真正的灵魂伴侣相守了 |
| [19:50] | I’m basically a Utilitarian nightmare. | 我就是最典型的「功利主义两难」恶梦 |
| [19:54] | Every ounce of my happiness leads to a ton of pain for you. | 我的快乐完全建立在你的痛苦之上 |
| [19:57] | So… | 这样 |
| [19:58] | every time the simple fact of my existence | 每次你觉得我的存在 |
| [20:01] | starts to bum you out, | 让你心烦时 |
| [20:04] | I want you to hold this up. | 你就举起这张纸片 |
| [20:07] | At which point, I will leave you alone | 我到时 就会还你清静 |
| [20:10] | for as long as you need. | 多久都行 |
| [20:12] | I know we’ll never be soul mates, but… | 虽然我们永远都不会成为灵魂伴侣 但… |
| [20:14] | we’re friends. | 我们是朋友 |
| [20:16] | Now get in this boat and read some boring French poetry. | 好了 你赶紧上船 去吟诗作赋吧 |
| [20:30] | I… I’ve never actually done this before. | 我以前从来没这么玩过 |
| [20:32] | This is a theoretical fantasy. | 只在脑中幻想过而已 |
| [20:35] | How do you row a boat? | 我不会划船啊 |
| [20:37] | I’ll tell ya, it’s good as new. | 真的 就跟新的一样 |
| [20:38] | Go ahead, if you want, just… here. | 你可以随便试 像这样 |
| [20:40] | See? You can jump up and down on it. | 瞧见没 还可以大跳呢 |
| [20:42] | Hey, boss. So you fixed the sinkhole. | 老大 你修好裂洞了啊 |
| [20:44] | Yup, good as new. Crisis averted. | 是滴 焕然一新 化解危机了 |
| [20:47] | Everybody have a wonderful day, | 大家都好好享受时光吧 |
| [20:48] | because I fixed the sinkhole. | 因为我修好了裂洞 |
| [20:51] | – I didn’t fix the sinkhole. – Sorry? | -不是我修好的啊 -你说什么 |
| [20:53] | I tried and I tried, but nothing worked. | 我想尽办法了 但都没用 |
| [20:55] | And then all of a sudden… | 结果突然之间… |
| [20:57] | this morning, out of the blue, it just… | 今早 这个裂洞就莫名其妙地… |
| [20:59] | It just closed over. | 就这么合上了 |
| [21:03] | How ’bout that? | 有点意思啊 |
| [21:05] | Well, as your assistant, | 作为助理 |
| [21:06] | I officially declare this good news. | 我正式宣布这个好消息 |
| [21:09] | No, this is terrible news! | 不 这消息糟透了 |
| [21:11] | I have no idea what caused it, Eleanor. | 我完全不清楚裂洞的原因 埃莉诺 |
| [21:14] | And no idea what fixed it. | 也不知道怎么就修复了 |
| [21:16] | I want you to come to my office first thing in the morning. | 你明天一大早就来我办公室 |
| [21:20] | You and I are gonna find this problem. | 我们俩一起来查个水落石出 |