| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | As you reach the end of your first year in the afterlife, | 你在”死后世界”即将度过一年之时 |
| [00:03] | what do you remember most? | 你最难忘什么呢 |
| [00:05] | The everlasting friendships you made? | 天长地久的友谊 |
| [00:07] | The adversity you overcame together? | 齐心协力度过的难关 |
| [00:10] | The day everything was chocolate? | “巧克力节日” |
| [00:13] | That day was awesome. | 那天最开心了 |
| [00:14] | I had a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. | 我拿到了一个里斯巧克力杯 |
| [00:16] | It was all chocolate. | 完全由巧克力制成 |
| [00:18] | You only have a few hours left in your first year, | 这一年还有几个小时就结束了 |
| [00:21] | so why not do as many amazing good deeds for other people | 不如赶在午夜之前 尽全力做善事 |
| [00:24] | as you possibly can by midnight just in case? | 以免”好人积分”没攒够 |
| [00:29] | I know. I know. All right, I’ll take it out. | 我知道我说漏嘴了 这段删掉 |
| [00:31] | I’m a little tired, okay? Lay off. | 我有点心力交瘁 求放过 |
| [00:33] | That movie, minus the part where Eleanor gives away the entire experiment, | 这一段视频 掐掉埃莉诺说漏嘴那段 |
| [00:37] | will play before the party tonight. | 将会在今晚年会上放映 |
| [00:39] | Speaking of which, | 说起来 |
| [00:40] | the theme is “One Year Down, Infinity to Go.” | 今晚年会出题是”一年已过 余生无止境” |
| [00:43] | Dress is London black tie. | 着装要求 伦敦正统晚礼服 |
| [00:45] | That means Knightsbridge black tie, not Kensington | “骑士桥”奢华风 而非”肯辛顿”乡土风 |
| [00:48] | or, heaven forbid, West Brompton. | 也绝不是”西布朗普顿”土鳖风 |
| [00:52] | Can you imagine? | 你能想象多不上档次吗 |
| [00:54] | No. | 想象不出来 |
| [00:56] | Also, just after midnight, | 还有 午夜过后 |
| [00:57] | in order to reset my processing power, | 为了重启处理功能 |
| [00:59] | I will be violently eating my Janet babies. | 我会残忍地”吃掉”珍妮特的”人类宝宝” |
| [01:02] | I’d advise no one look directly at me. | 警告大家都别盯着我看 |
| [01:04] | Copy that. | 了解 |
| [01:05] | So tonight at the party, | 今晚年会上 |
| [01:06] | we’re gonna go for one more point grab. | 我们会再来一轮加分项目 |
| [01:09] | I’m gonna suggest that they make toasts about each other, | 我会让他们相互敬酒 |
| [01:11] | celebrate their ups and downs, demonstrate personal growth, | 庆祝这一年的生活经历 展示个人成长 |
| [01:14] | blah, blah, blah, humanity is saved. | 大家感动落泪 人类最终被拯救 |
| [01:18] | One more day, guys. Let’s finish strong. | 再坚持一天 让我们盛大收官 |
| [01:21] | And to that end, as you might know, | 为此 你们可能知道 |
| [01:23] | I’ve been practicing human magic. | 我一直在练习人类魔术 |
| [01:28] | Ta-da. | 惊不惊喜 |
| [01:29] | Dope. | 拽啊 |
| [01:31] | So I was thinking– | 我在想 |
| [01:32] | No, the Magnificent Dr. Presto is not performing tonight. | 不行 你不能扮”魔术大师”今晚登台 |
| [01:35] | – Come on, I– – Dude, magic is always lame. | -商量一下 -老大 魔术很不上档次 |
| [01:38] | But it’s especially lame here, where there’s actual magic. | 这里充满魔法 “魔术”就更逊一筹了 |
| [01:41] | As a counterargument, check your pocket. | 容我露一手 你掏一下口袋 |
| [01:47] | The other one. | 另一个 |
| [01:50] | Shoot, sorry. | 哎呀呀 抱歉 |
| [01:51] | It’s my pocket. | 是在我口袋里 |
| [01:54] | – Ta-da. – Dope. | -惊不惊喜 -拽啊 |
| [01:56] | You know what? You can perform. | 行 你可以登台 |
| [01:57] | – Really? – Yeah. | -真的吗 -对 |
| [01:58] | You changed my mind with that pocket thing. | 你这一招”掏口袋”惊爆了我的脑回路 |
| [02:01] | Boffo. | 本人甚是欣喜 |
| [02:04] | – You’re being mean. – Yep. | -你故意逗我玩 -对 |
| [02:13] | I am very excited for tonight. | 我很期待今晚年会 |
| [02:15] | And dare I say, you all look so splendid, | 大家盛装之下 尽显华美啊 |
| [02:18] | you could work the coat check at the Met Gala. | 风采不输”纽约大都会慈善晚宴”红毯秀 |
| [02:21] | Speaking of the Met Gala, | 说起”纽约大都会慈善晚宴” |
| [02:22] | remember that security cam footage | 记得那段录像吗 |
| [02:24] | of Solange and Jay-Z fighting in the elevator? | 索兰格在电梯里暴打Jay-Z |
| [02:26] | I learned to read lips. | 我学了唇语 |
| [02:27] | Turns out, she was yelling, | 原来她当时大吵 |
| [02:29] | “No fair, I wanted to be the one to push the button.” | “凭什么啊 我本来想按电梯楼层” |
| [02:33] | So, yeah, it wasn’t as juicy as some people maybe thought it was. | 没大家猜得那么狗血 |
| [02:37] | Gang. | 小伙伴们 |
| [02:38] | Had a pretty good round today. Better close this door. | 我今天表现特别好 最好先把门关上 |
| [02:40] | I don’t want all those birdies to follow me in here. | 我可不想那些鸟儿跟我来这里了 |
| [02:44] | Why? | 我怎么得罪你了 |
| [02:45] | Okay, Brent, hurry up and change so we can get to the party. | 布兰特 赶紧换衣服 我们要去年会 |
| [02:47] | Right, hang on. | 对 等一下 |
| [02:48] | Janet gave me this. | 珍妮特给了我这个 |
| [02:50] | Tuxedo in a can. | 罐装燕尾服 |
| [02:54] | You know, I came this close to firing Janet, | 我本来差点就想炒掉她了 |
| [02:56] | but she’s gotten a lot better. | 但她长进不少 |
| [02:58] | Okay, we’re not leaving yet. | 我们还不能走 |
| [02:59] | I need to show you all something. | 我们要给你们看些东西 |
| [03:02] | This is the result of months of observation. | 这是我几个月的观察结果 |
| [03:05] | Now, I know you’re gonna think I’m crazy. | 你们肯定都觉得我疯了 |
| [03:07] | No, why would we think that? | 这还用问吗 |
| [03:09] | But there is something wrong with this neighborhood. | 但这个地方有问题 |
| [03:12] | And it involves the people in this room. | 跟这间屋里的人有关系 |
| [03:16] | So crazy that we’re at the end of this thing | 太不安了 整场戏就要结束了 |
| [03:18] | and we have no idea how we did. | 我们却不知表现如何 |
| [03:20] | Janet, any chance you could get a look inside that obelisk? | 珍妮特 你能进入那个”方尖碑”偷看一眼吗 |
| [03:25] | Check that magic scoreboard? | 看下目前得分情况 |
| [03:26] | There is a chance, yes. | 我可以一试 |
| [03:28] | About 1 in 970 trillion. | 成功几率为970万亿之一 |
| [03:31] | Let’s give her a whirl. | 我来放手一试 |
| [03:33] | It did not work. | 没成功 |
| [03:35] | I’ll be right back. | 我马上回来 |
| [03:38] | I feel okay about most of it, | 整体上感觉不错 |
| [03:40] | but I just wish we had one concrete sign that Brent has improved. | 但布兰特的进步 表现得再明显一点就好了 |
| [03:45] | One moment where he bumps into someone and sincerely says, | 比如他不小心撞了别人 然后真诚地说 |
| [03:48] | “Oops, my bad.” You know? | “抱歉啊” |
| [03:49] | I would kill for an “Oops, my bad.” | 就一句”抱歉” 别无所求 |
| [03:51] | Who’s a girl gotta fork to get an “Oops, my bad”? | 我愿历劫八十一难来换一句”抱歉”啊 |
| [03:54] | Panicking about this experiment at crucial moments is kind of my move. | 关键时刻崩溃 这明明是我的戏路 |
| [03:58] | – Don’t fall apart on me, now. – I won’t. | -你别跟我抢戏 -我不会 |
| [04:00] | It’s just– you know me. | 只是 你了解我 |
| [04:02] | On Earth, I never played a game unless I knew I could either win | 我生前向来不打无把握的仗 |
| [04:05] | or bribe the ref so he’d throw it for me. | 再不然就是以贿赂作弊取胜 |
| [04:08] | And if we lose, I’m gonna be so mad. | 如果我们失败了 我会暴怒 |
| [04:12] | Just one more day. | 再撑一天 |
| [04:13] | We’re gonna stick to the plan, not do anything radical. | 我们按计划进行 不要节外生枝 |
| [04:17] | Though we could do something… | 但我们可以展示一下 |
| [04:20] | Magical. | 魔术魅力 |
| [04:22] | You gotta let it go, man. | 你退出魔术这一行吧 |
| [04:23] | She’s right. | 她说得没错 |
| [04:26] | I’ve been suspicious about this place since day one. | 我第一天就怀疑这里有古怪 |
| [04:28] | Over the last few months, I’ve been collecting data, | 过去几个月 我一直收集资料 |
| [04:30] | and now I am positive, something is truly forked up. | 我现在肯定 这里面有问题 |
| [04:33] | You didn’t tell me about any of this, muffin. | 你怎么没告诉我 “麦芬宝” |
| [04:35] | Okay, you call her muffin? | 你管她叫”麦芬宝” |
| [04:37] | I’m getting a lot of breaking news at once here. | 官宣的节奏啊 我脑内弹幕 成千上万 |
| [04:39] | I was gathering evidence. | 我当时在收集证据 |
| [04:40] | I didn’t wanna compromise the integrity of the data collection. | 我不想影响数据收集的准确性 |
| [04:43] | So romantic. | “真浪漫” |
| [04:46] | Here’s what I know. | 我目前只知 |
| [04:47] | Eleanor and Michael are up to something, | 埃莉诺和迈克尔心怀叵测 |
| [04:49] | and it’s focused on us. | 目标就是我们 |
| [04:51] | I mean, there are, like, 300 people in the neighborhood, | 这里一共有三百个人 |
| [04:54] | and somehow they just spend all of their time | 而他们把全部时间 |
| [04:56] | talking to the six people in this room. | 都放在我们六个人身上了 |
| [04:58] | Well, I mean, who else are they gonna talk to? | 不然他们在谁身上花心思 |
| [05:00] | Dumb Shorts Cathy? | “破短裤”凯西 |
| [05:02] | What is your problem with her? | 她怎么得罪你了 |
| [05:03] | I mean, shorts? “Cathy”? | “短”裤 “凯西”[大屌] |
| [05:07] | What isn’t my problem with her? | 她这不是逼着我吐槽吗 |
| [05:09] | Jianyu, are you okay? You look sweaty. | 建宇 你没事吧 你满头大汗 |
| [05:12] | No. He’s fine. | 没事 他没事 |
| [05:13] | He always sweats when he’s meditating. | 他一冥想就会出汗 |
| [05:16] | He calls it “Sweat-itating.” | 他称之为”汗水冥想” |
| [05:18] | No, I mean, he doesn’t talk, so I call it that. | 不是 他都不说话 我这么称呼 |
| [05:23] | I’m friends with Sting. | 我跟斯汀是好友 |
| [05:24] | I can’t take it anymore. | 我憋不住了 |
| [05:26] | I know something, | 我知道一个秘密 |
| [05:27] | and it’s just graduated from hot goss to relevant AF. | 一开始只是流量八卦 但现在想来有蹊跷 |
| [05:30] | Yes, I’m gonna. I’m gonna. | 我就要说 就要说 |
| [05:31] | That’s not Jianyu. | 这不是建宇 |
| [05:33] | His name is Jason. | 他叫杰森 |
| [05:35] | And he’s here by mistake. | 他错来”善地”了 |
| [05:37] | Chidi’s been helping him hide and become a better person. | 奇迪一直在帮他隐瞒 导其向善 |
| [05:41] | I also knew about this, of course. | 我当然也知晓此事了 |
| [05:45] | Might as well come clean, darling. | 你还是坦白吧 亲 |
| [05:48] | Hi, Simone. | 你好 西蒙妮 |
| [05:50] | Jason Mendoza, Jacksonville, Florida. | 我叫杰森·门多萨 来自弗罗里达州杰克逊维尔市 |
| [05:52] | Go, Jags, obviously. What else about me? | 美洲虎队最牛掰 还有什么呢 |
| [05:55] | I was born in a swimming pool. | 我出生在泳池 |
| [05:56] | Okay, you never told me about this, ducky. | 你对我隐瞒了此事 “鸭宝” |
| [05:59] | Ducky? I’m gonna have to sit down. | “鸭宝” 信息量太大 我还是坐下吧 |
| [06:01] | This is too much. | 心脏受不了 |
| [06:03] | Well, I swore I wouldn’t tell, | 我发誓我不会说出去 |
| [06:05] | and keeping your word is a central tenet of deontological ethics. | 君子当一诺千金 此乃德行要旨 |
| [06:09] | So romantic. | “真浪漫” |
| [06:10] | Okay, let’s assume certain things are odd about this place. | 好 假设这里有些地方不对劲 |
| [06:14] | What is your theory? | 你有何结论 |
| [06:15] | I don’t know. | 说不好 |
| [06:17] | Maybe this isn’t the Good Place. | 也许这里不是”善地” |
| [06:18] | Maybe it’s a test. | 也许这是一次考验 |
| [06:20] | My best guess, it’s some kind of experiment. | 最有可能是一场实验 |
| [06:23] | We’re being observed in a closed environment. | 我们被关在封闭环境 有人观察我们 |
| [06:25] | Simone, look at this logically. | 西蒙妮 逻辑不能下线啊 |
| [06:28] | We are in paradise. | 我们在天堂之中 |
| [06:30] | There’s fresh air, mountains, Janet. | 这里空气清新 青山绿水 还有万能的珍妮特 |
| [06:33] | And yes, some of us are under 5’10”, | 这里确实有人不够高 |
| [06:36] | but other than that, it is literally perfect here. | 但除此之外 一切尽善尽美 |
| [06:39] | No, it is not. | 才不是 |
| [06:40] | Jason is proof. | 杰森就是最好的证明 |
| [06:42] | And if you need more evidence that this isn’t the Good Place, | 如果你还不信这里不是”善地” |
| [06:45] | clearly he’s not the only one who doesn’t belong. | 显然不只有他不该来这里 |
| [06:48] | Actually, she’s right, and I know it for a fact. | 她说得没错 确实如此 |
| [06:52] | For the first time ever, | 这是头一回 |
| [06:53] | I am desperate for you to keep talking. | 你开口 我不想让你闭嘴 |
| [06:55] | Well, right at the beginning, I talked to Mike and Eleanor, | 一开始 我跟迈克和埃莉诺谈过 |
| [06:57] | and they were like, “Yeah, don’t tell anyone this, | 他们跟我说 “别告诉别人 |
| [06:59] | but there’s a place better than this, | 其实还有比这里更好的地方 |
| [07:01] | The Best Place, | ‘至善之地’ |
| [07:03] | and that’s where you’re headed, amigo.” | 你将前往那里 好亲故” |
| [07:05] | I don’t think they actually called you amigo. | 他们才不会称你为”好亲故” |
| [07:06] | I had to go through the year here, | 我必须在这里待一年 |
| [07:07] | kind of a test, I guess, which, obviously, I aced. | 经过考核 显然哥的表现爆表了 |
| [07:09] | So at midnight, I’m in the first Escalade out of here, baby. | 等午夜 我将会坐着第一辆凯迪拉克凯雷德离开这里 |
| [07:12] | – Brent. – Yeah? | -布兰特 -怎么了 |
| [07:13] | – Think about this. – Okay. | -你用脑子想一下 -好 |
| [07:15] | How could you get into the Best Place? | 你怎么会进入”至善之地”啊 |
| [07:18] | You would literally have to be | 能进入”至善之地” |
| [07:19] | one of the most incredible people in the universe. | 必须得是”拯救银河系”这种人啊 |
| [07:25] | I mean, it makes sense to me. I don’t know what to tell you. | 我觉得很合理 你听不懂 我也没办法 |
| [07:28] | Okay, in the words of Princess Kate | 借用一下凯特王妃的话 |
| [07:30] | after we came back from our shopping trip in Ibiza, | 就在我们从伊比沙岛购物回来之后 |
| [07:32] | “There’s a lot to unpack here.” | 她说”东西太多 要慢慢整理” |
| [07:34] | Perhaps we should just put our concerns aside | 不如我们先别胡思乱想 |
| [07:36] | and enjoy ourselves. | 好好享受生活 |
| [07:38] | No way. | 这可不行 |
| [07:39] | We have to figure out exactly what is going on here. | 我们必须探明这里的真相 |
| [07:43] | Okay, just.. go to the party, | 大家先去年会 |
| [07:44] | but keep your eyes open. | 但都睁大眼睛 |
| [07:46] | I’ve got a special mission for us. | 我们俩有特殊任务 |
| [07:48] | – I– – Good. Muffin and Ducky are on the case. | -我 -“麦芬宝”和”鸭宝”去查真相了 “有救了” |
| [07:57] | – How’s it going? – Awesome. | -进展如何 -特别顺利 |
| [07:59] | No, it isn’t. | 完全不是 |
| [08:00] | Yeah. Terrible. | 对 特别不顺 |
| [08:02] | Simone knows the neighborhood isn’t what it appears to be. | 西蒙妮发现”善地”有猫腻了 |
| [08:04] | She’s been collecting evidence for months. | 她这几个月一直在收集证据 |
| [08:06] | So all that hanging out with Brent | 这么久以来 跟布兰特交际 |
| [08:08] | and participating in group activities– | 参加集体活动 |
| [08:10] | Was under false pretenses. She was observing him. | 她其实在演戏 暗中观察他 |
| [08:12] | She’s been observing everything. | 她一直在观察一切 |
| [08:14] | Guys, pick a card. | 各位 选一张牌 |
| [08:16] | – Yes! – No time. | -棒哎 -没时间玩了 |
| [08:18] | The subjects are onto us. | 目标人类怀疑我们了 |
| [08:19] | They know something weird is going on, | 他们察觉出猫腻了 |
| [08:20] | and it could derail the entire experiment. | 这可能会毁掉整场戏 |
| [08:23] | No! | 要命了 |
| [08:26] | Sorry, that was unintentional. | 抱歉 我不是故意加戏 |
| [08:30] | What? | 怎么回事 |
| [08:32] | There’s nothing here. | 这里什么都没有 |
| [08:33] | Did you find anything? | 你有发现吗 |
| [08:34] | Just some song lyrics that Michael wrote? | 就是一些迈克尔写的歌 |
| [08:37] | “Here’s a trippy little ditty ’bout a train to Groovy City. | “搭上潮流火车前往牛掰圣地 |
| [08:40] | Open up your freaky crystal mind | 燃爆脑回路清奇 |
| [08:42] | and we’ll have a cosmic good time.” | 一起欢乐笑嘻嘻” |
| [08:45] | See, that makes me think we’re in hell. | 好烂俗 这里不是地狱 哪里是啊 |
| [08:47] | Look, we tried to prove your theory, | 我们努力寻找可疑证据了 |
| [08:48] | but it feels like we came up empty. | 但感觉目前一无所获啊 |
| [08:50] | Chidi, there is so much evidence they’ve been lying. | 奇迪 有这么多证据能证明他们骗人 |
| [08:53] | How can you not see that? | 你怎么看不出来 |
| [08:54] | Eleanor told me that this was her first neighborhood. | 埃莉诺说 这是她设计的第一个社区 |
| [08:56] | Maybe some of these are just honest mistakes. | 也许这些可疑只是缺陷呢 |
| [08:59] | And also she… told me some other stuff that I really want to be true. | 还有 她说了一些事 我很希望是真的 |
| [09:06] | What kind of stuff? | 什么事 |
| [09:08] | Well, it was… | 就是 |
| [09:11] | something about us. | 我们的事 |
| [09:15] | Why does everything I do fall apart so close to the end? | 我怎么一演到终场 就被拆台啊 |
| [09:18] | My first experiment, now this experiment. | 第一次是这样 这次又是这样 |
| [09:20] | I only got halfway through writing “The Purple Train to Groovy City.” | 我那首《开往牛掰胜地的紫色火车》才写到一半 |
| [09:24] | I just ran out of creative juice. | 我就是灵感殆尽了 |
| [09:26] | Focus. | 别跑题 |
| [09:27] | We cannot let this slip away from us at the last second. | 我们不能功亏一篑 |
| [09:30] | New pLan, forget the toasts. | 新对策 放弃”敬酒互捧”了 |
| [09:32] | We do nothing. | 我们什么都不做 |
| [09:34] | We hope that our early successes | 只寄希望于早前的好戏 |
| [09:35] | make up for the embarrassing mess we’ve become. | 能拯救如今烂尾的剧情 |
| [09:38] | Like Facebook or America. | 就像颜面尽失的”脸书”或”美国” 坐吃老本 |
| [09:40] | Okay, sound good? Michael? | 怎么样 迈克尔 |
| [09:43] | We have no way to know what this really means for the experiment. | 我们无法预料这会如何影响剧情走向 |
| [09:47] | I don’t think we can play it safe. | 所谓舍不得孩子套不住狼 |
| [09:49] | I have a plan. It’s risky. | 我有一计 是招险棋 |
| [09:51] | But it might be the only way to get them to where they need to be. | 但如今我们只能险中求胜 |
| [09:55] | Do you trust me? | 你们信我吗 |
| [09:57] | Yeah. Fork it. | 信 豁出去了 |
| [09:59] | Whatever it is, I’m in. | 不管是什么计策 我支持 |
| [10:00] | I’m always down for forking it. | 我做事向来都是豁出去了 |
| [10:02] | We trust you Michael. | 我们信你 迈克尔 |
| [10:03] | Then trust… the Magnificent Dr. Presto. | 那就相信”魔术大师”出手吧 |
| [10:07] | Man, you cannot pull that hat out after you ask us if we trust you. | 我们一本正经 你却掏出一顶魔术帽 你来搞笑吗 |
| [10:13] | Soul mates? | 灵魂伴侣 |
| [10:14] | That’s what Eleanor said, that we’re soul mates? | 埃莉诺这么说 我们俩是灵魂伴侣 |
| [10:17] | Yep. Pretty neat, huh? | 对 绝妙吧 |
| [10:18] | I think it’s pretty neat. | 我觉得太妙了 |
| [10:19] | Do you think it’s pretty neat, intensely, forever? | 你觉得爱到海枯石烂 妙不可言吗 |
| [10:22] | Chidi, I really like you. | 奇迪 我真的很喜欢你 |
| [10:25] | But I don’t think we’re soul mates. | 但我不觉得我们是灵魂伴侣 |
| [10:27] | Because I don’t think soul mates actually exist. | 因为我不相信世上存在”灵魂伴侣” |
| [10:29] | Right. | 也是 |
| [10:32] | Right, right. | 也是 |
| [10:33] | – Right? – Think rationally. | -是这样吗 -理性一点 |
| [10:35] | Isn’t it weird that she only told one of us that we’re soul mates? | 她只把这件事告诉一个人 不蹊跷吗 |
| [10:38] | Is it odd? Yes. | 确实蹊跷 |
| [10:41] | Does it mean that Eleanor’s motives are questionable? | 但这就表示埃莉诺动机不纯吗 |
| [10:44] | Also yes. | 也确实是 |
| [10:45] | But does it suggest that she wasn’t being truthful? | 但这表示她有事隐瞒我们吗 |
| [10:48] | Yes. Okay, I’m starting to see your point. | 也确实有 你说得有道理 |
| [10:54] | What does that mean? | 这是什么套路 |
| [10:56] | Why is it only four of us? Why not Tahani and Jason? | 为什么只有我们四个 怎么没有塔哈妮和杰森 |
| [10:58] | Why are there emojis? | 这个”表情”是什么意思 |
| [10:59] | I mean, one of them’s party hat guy. | 一个带着派对帽子的表情 |
| [11:01] | I mean, that’s good, right? He’s friendly. | 这不算坏吧 看起来人畜无害 |
| [11:02] | It’s better than thermometer guy or angry cat or smiling poop coil. | 比”发烧” “愤怒猫” “发笑一坨屎”这些表情好吧 |
| [11:06] | Okay, we have to get back to the party | 我们得回年会晚宴了 |
| [11:07] | before Eleanor and Michael notice we’re missing. | 免得埃莉诺和迈克尔发现我们不见了 |
| [11:09] | Great plan. Let’s kiss. | 此乃良策 我们接吻吧 |
| [11:11] | Sorry, still thinking about the soul mate thing. | 抱歉 满脑子还想着灵魂伴侣一事 |
| [11:13] | – Let’s go. – Okay. | -我们走 -好 |
| [11:15] | Ladies and gentlemen– | 女士们 先生们 |
| [11:16] | I can’t believe I’m saying this– | 恕我昧着良心说句 |
| [11:18] | the Magnificent Dr. Presto. | 有请”魔术大师” |
| [11:22] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [11:23] | Now, I know some of you may not believe in magic. | 我知道你们有些不相信魔术[魔法] |
| [11:26] | Well, I think they believe in some magic. | 他们相信魔法 |
| [11:28] | Yesterday everybody ate a lollipop that let them talk to birds. | 昨天大家还吃了神奇棒棒糖 跟鸟儿聊天了 |
| [11:32] | Okay, but this is Earth magic. | 但我表演的是”人间魔术” |
| [11:35] | And it’s harder. | 比”魔法”难多了 |
| [11:37] | And if you don’t understand that, | 如果你有疑议 |
| [11:39] | I am here… | 下面就是 |
| [11:41] | to change your mind. | 见证奇迹的时刻了[变零钱] |
| [11:45] | Come on. | 给个面子嘛 |
| [11:46] | It started out as a dollar bill and now it’s four quarters. | 一美元秒变四个25美分 |
| [11:50] | “Change your mind”? | “变零钱”这个梗啊 |
| [11:51] | – Michael, it’s three quarters. – What? | -迈克尔 你只变出三个 -什么 |
| [11:53] | Three quarters. | 三个25美分 |
| [11:55] | Three quarters, even harder! | 变出三个25美分 技术更牛啊 |
| [11:58] | Thank you! | 掌声鼓励一下呗 |
| [12:00] | Can you make them clap harder? | 你能让他们带点灵魂鼓掌吗 |
| [12:01] | They see what they see, man. | 观众都不傻 |
| [12:03] | Did you guys find anything? | 你们有发现吗 |
| [12:05] | Yes, proof that the four of us– | 找到证据了 我们四个 |
| [12:06] | and only the four of us– are being forked with. | 只有我们四个被整了 |
| [12:09] | But we still don’t have any hard proof that this place is evil | 但还是没有铁证说明这里不是好地方 |
| [12:11] | or that Michael and Eleanor are nefarious, | 也无法证明迈克尔和埃莉诺心怀不轨 |
| [12:13] | so, you know, no one’s heart needs to break just yet. | 先别演撕逼这种戏 伤感情 |
| [12:16] | Yeah, I’m with him. This place is fine. | 他说得对 这里没什么不好 |
| [12:18] | Hey, if you guys don’t make the cut up to the Best Place, | 如果你们最终没晋级”至善之地” |
| [12:20] | I’ll try to put in a good word for you. | 我会帮你们美言几句 |
| [12:22] | You guys got business cards? | 你们有名片吗 |
| [12:23] | Brent, I need a volunteer. Come on up. | 布兰特 我需要一个嘉宾 你上来 |
| [12:28] | Okay, Brent, I want you to take off your wristwatch and place it in my hat. | 布兰特 请摘下手表 放进我帽子里 |
| [12:33] | Now, this is a Rolex. | 这是一只劳力士 |
| [12:34] | It’s the exact same watch Richie Sambora wears. | 就是瑞奇·山波拉戴的那只表 |
| [12:34] | 吉他手 被赋予”演唱会上最成功吉他演奏家”名誉 摇滚历史上最成功的歌曲写作者 | |
| [12:37] | So be careful. | 你别弄坏了 |
| [12:38] | And now the Magnificent Dr. Presto will transform y– | 本”魔术大师”要将其变成 |
| [12:55] | Brent, can you hear me? | 布兰特 你能听见吗 |
| [12:57] | If it somehow helps, | 不知道有没有用 |
| [12:59] | there’s a small dove in your pocket! | 你口袋里有只鸽子 |
| [13:05] | Never mind. | 不重要了 |
| [13:07] | Brent, I’m so sorry. | 布兰特 对不起 |
| [13:08] | I must have screwed up the trick somehow. | 肯定是我变戏法时 失误了 |
| [13:11] | Hold on, we’re gonna get you out of there. | 你挺住 我们救你出来 |
| [13:13] | Yeah, you better! I got a hell of a lawsuit on my hands. | 赶紧救我 我要告死你们 |
| [13:15] | I’m gonna frickin’ own this place. | 让你们赔个倾家荡产 好让我成为土豪 |
| [13:17] | Okay. | 好 |
| [13:17] | Okay, everyone, please disperse. | 大家赶紧疏散 |
| [13:19] | We’ll let you know when it’s safe. | 静候我们的安全通知 |
| [13:21] | You three, stay here. Keep an eye on Brent. | 你们三个待在这里 看着布兰特 |
| [13:24] | We’re gonna try and fix this remotely using eternal-being technology. | 我们要远距离施展仙术了 |
| [13:28] | Tahani, Jianyu, try and find a rope. | 塔哈妮 建宇 你们去找根绳子 |
| [13:30] | Righto. | 好 |
| [13:31] | Okay, so what do we do, | 我们怎么办 |
| [13:32] | try to climb down or wait for the rope? | 下去救人还是等绳子 |
| [13:34] | Neither, we get the fork outta here. | 什么都不做 赶紧撤 |
| [13:36] | Chidi, a giant hell-hole just opened up and swallowed one of us. | 奇迪 地裂大洞 我们中一个人掉下去了 |
| [13:39] | I don’t care what this place really is. | 我不管这里是什么地方 |
| [13:41] | Giant holes are bad, and we should go. | 地裂大洞 一看就不妙 走为上策 |
| [13:43] | Or giant holes are bad, so if someone falls into one, | 地裂大洞 一看就不妙 如果有人掉进去了 |
| [13:46] | you try to help get him out. | 就应该出手相救 |
| [13:49] | I’m not scared! | 我不害怕 |
| [13:50] | I’m shouting so you know I’m okay. | 我就是大喊一声 示意我没事 |
| [13:52] | I am very brave. | 小爷临危不惧 |
| [13:54] | I hope this works. | 希望这招有用 |
| [13:55] | We basically just confirmed that we’re lying to them. | 我们基本上证实了他们被欺骗 |
| [13:58] | Man. Was this a bad idea? | 我很心慌 这是个馊主意吗 |
| [13:59] | I mean, what if this was a bad idea? | 这是个馊主意怎么办 |
| [14:01] | It wasn’t, homey. It was a good idea. | 不是 老哥 这是一招妙计 |
| [14:04] | Can anyone else weigh in? | 你的意见不重要 其他人呢 |
| [14:05] | I’m serious. | 我说真的 |
| [14:06] | In football, trying to run out the clock | 橄榄球赛中 拖延时间战术 |
| [14:08] | and hoping for the best never works. | 保持乐观心态 根本没用 |
| [14:10] | It’s called “Prevent defense.” | 专业术语叫”保护性防守” |
| [14:11] | You don’t take any chances | 领先时 不节外生枝 |
| [14:12] | and just try and hang on to your lead. | 只防不攻 直到终场 |
| [14:14] | But prevent defense just prevents you from winning. | 但”保护性防守”只会让你无法锁定胜局 |
| [14:18] | It’s always better to try something. | 主动进攻才是王道 |
| [14:20] | Jason, that was… coherent. | 杰森 你竟然逻辑在线了 |
| [14:24] | Sorry, I didn’t mean to. | 对不起 无心之过 见谅 |
| [14:26] | It’s a good plan, Michael. | 这是个妙招 迈克尔 |
| [14:28] | Hopefully they’ve bonded enough as a group to rescue Brent, | 希望他们能团结一心救出布兰特 |
| [14:31] | call me, get a train, and all head out of here together. | 联系我 叫辆火车 一起离开这里 |
| [14:33] | But was it a mistake to have Brent fall in? | 但应该是布兰特掉进去吗 |
| [14:35] | We could have had Chidi fall in, right? | 如果应该是奇迪掉进去呢 |
| [14:37] | Or a cute baby panda or maybe, you know, like, a box of doughnuts? | 再不然应该找只熊猫宝宝 一盒甜甜圈 |
| [14:40] | Everyone loves doughnuts. | 人人都爱甜甜圈 |
| [14:41] | Brent was the right choice. | 就该让布兰特掉进去 |
| [14:43] | It’s not a tough call whether to save Chidi | 大家不会纠结是否该救奇迪 |
| [14:46] | because he’s a brilliant and kind person | 因为他颖悟绝伦 宅心仁厚 |
| [14:48] | with a caboose you can bounce a quarter off of, | 翘臀堪比”美国队长” |
| [14:50] | and I know because I’ve done it. | 因为姐领教过 |
| [14:52] | We threw Brent in there | 让布兰特掉进洞里 |
| [14:53] | because there is no reason any of them should help him because Brent sucks. | 大家没理由去救他 因为他就是个渣男 |
| [14:58] | Brent is the opposite of a box of doughnuts. | 布兰特就是甜甜圈的反义词 招人烦 |
| [15:00] | Toilet full of broccoli. | 一厕所西蓝花 倒胃口 |
| [15:02] | Yeah, kinda, Brent is a toilet full of broccoli. | 对 布兰特就是”一厕所西蓝花 倒胃口” |
| [15:05] | But because he sucks so bad, | 但就因为他不招人待见 |
| [15:07] | if they do risk their safety to help him, | 如果他们冒险去救他 |
| [15:10] | they’ll get more points. | 就会加很多分 |
| [15:11] | Basically it’s a Hail Mary. | 简单说 就是”呼唤奇迹” |
| [15:13] | It’s risky, but if we complete it, we win the game. | 虽兵行险着 但若成功 就能逆转乾坤 |
| [15:18] | That was two good analogies in a row. | 又一次逻辑在线 有理有据啊 |
| [15:20] | I’m now worried that he’s a demon in a Jason suit. | 我有点怀疑 这是恶魔假扮的”杰森” |
| [15:24] | Are we really in hell? | 我们真在地狱吗 |
| [15:26] | I mean, I didn’t lead a perfect life on Earth, | 我生前确实不是什么大善人 |
| [15:28] | but I worked very hard. | 但我工作特别努力 |
| [15:31] | Making fun of people you’d never even met. | 你营销八卦账号 吐槽陌生人 |
| [15:33] | Well, I guess you must be right, Simone, | 你说什么都对 西蒙妮 |
| [15:34] | because you always have to be. | 因为你自以为聪明绝顶 |
| [15:36] | Hey, are you the bottom of a coal-fired pizza? | 你是”煤炭披萨”底部吗 |
| [15:38] | – Why, ’cause I’m burnt? – You are always right. | -因为我被”烫”[被暴击]了吗 -你聪明得让人讨厌 |
| [15:41] | Well, if it is hell, I know why I’m here. | 我知道我下地狱的原因 |
| [15:45] | Almond milk. | 杏仁奶 |
| [15:46] | I drank so much of it despite the negative environmental impacts. | 尽管这有害环境 我还是喝了很多 |
| [15:50] | Okay, wherever we are, | 不管这是什么地方 |
| [15:51] | I do not wanna be here when the clock hits zero, okay? | 我可不想坐以待毙 等到午夜 |
| [15:53] | Now might be our only chance to escape. | 此时不逃 更待何时 |
| [15:55] | Not without Brent. | 不能丢下布兰特 |
| [15:56] | Do you think if the roles were reversed, | 如果你们处境对调 |
| [15:58] | he would waste any time rescuing you? | 你觉得他会浪费时间救你吗 |
| [16:00] | Maybe. | 说不准 |
| [16:01] | If Elle Macpherson were nearby and he wanted to impress her | 如果艾拉·麦克弗森在这里 他想逞英雄呢 |
| [16:04] | or if he thought that I was a prince he could ransom– | 抑或他以为我是王子 能拿到大笔赎金 |
| [16:07] | That’s not the point. | 这不是重点 |
| [16:08] | He is a person in a hole. | 他掉进洞里了 |
| [16:11] | I have a duty to help him get out. | 我应当伸以援手 救他出来 |
| [16:14] | What he would do is irrelevant. | 他会不会救我 这不重要 |
| [16:15] | I don’t think it is. | 当然重要了 |
| [16:16] | If you do a science experiment a thousand times | 如果做一项实验 做了一千次 |
| [16:19] | and always get the same results, you move on. | 每次结果都一样 就没有再做的必要了 |
| [16:22] | We’ve given Brent a thousand chances to be a good person. | 我们给了布兰特一千次向善的机会了 |
| [16:25] | In one of them, he was so awful, | 他每一次表现都很欠揍 |
| [16:28] | you punched him in the face. | 于是你揍了他一拳 |
| [16:30] | Okay, but when I did that, | 我揍他时 |
| [16:31] | I thought cutting him out of our group meant that | 我以为就是以后不带他玩了 |
| [16:33] | he would have to find another place in heaven to hang out. | 他可以在这里找其他人玩耍 |
| [16:37] | That’s changed. I can’t just leave him. | 现在情况变了 我不能丢下他不管 |
| [16:40] | Well, I respect your position. | 我尊重你的立场 |
| [16:46] | I respect yours. | 我也尊重你 |
| [16:52] | Look, I know everything’s really scary right now, | 我知道眼下剧情发展步步惊心 |
| [16:54] | but I just have to say it. | 但我还是忍不住吐槽 |
| [16:57] | That was the most boring breakup I’ve ever seen. | 分手这种狗血戏演得这么无聊 也是没谁了 |
| [17:04] | Hey, Chidi, shake it off. | 奇迪 没事 |
| [17:05] | Another bus comes every 15 minutes. | 15分钟后 下一班车就来了 |
| [17:07] | Brent. | 布兰特 |
| [17:16] | Where are they? | 他们在哪呢 |
| [17:17] | They never called a train. | 他们没叫火车 |
| [17:19] | They must have taken Brent’s Escalade. | 肯定是开着布兰特的凯迪拉克凯雷德走了 |
| [17:21] | That’s good. | 这很好啊 |
| [17:22] | The important thing is that the group bonded and stayed together. | 他们齐心合力 共渡难关 这才是目的 |
| [17:25] | Hello! Could someone help us? | 有人吗 有人能救我们吗 |
| [17:27] | – Us? – Yeah. | -我们 -没错 |
| [17:28] | This frickin’ genius tried to help me and he fell in. | 这个”傻黑甜”想救我 结果掉进来了 |
| [17:31] | I thought you were smart, man. | 无力吐槽你的智商 |
| [17:32] | Are you serious right now? | 你是良心长霉 还是没长良心啊 |
| [17:34] | Well, turns out, the group did not bond. | 结果发现 四个人没齐心协力 |
| [17:36] | The group snapped in half. | 他们分裂成两队了 |
| [17:39] | Will you help us? | 你们能救我们吗 |
| [17:41] | These rocks are really sharp down here. | 这里峭壁险峻啊 |
| [17:42] | – I’m scared. – I’m not. | -我好怕 -我不怕 |
| [17:44] | – Just give us a second. – Guys, I think we’re cooked. | -你们等一下 -小伙伴们 我们完蛋了 |
| [17:47] | It’s over. | 没戏唱了 |
| [17:48] | No, no way. I am not giving up. | 不能认输 我不接受失败 |
| [17:50] | I told you, I only play games I can win. | 我说过了 我只打有把握的仗 |
| [17:52] | And I played this game, so that means we can win. | 这场仗既然打了 我就势在必赢 |
| [17:55] | – I don’t think that tracks. – Shut up. What do you know? | -逻辑不对 -闭嘴 你懂什么 |
| [17:57] | Literally everything, but keep going. | 我无所不知 但你继续 |
| [17:59] | I am liking this energy from you. | 我喜欢你这种劲头 |
| [18:01] | We have eight minutes left, so that means we keep trying. | 还有八分钟 不到最后一刻 就不放弃 |
| [18:04] | What else can we try? | 还有什么招 |
| [18:05] | We’ve already blown everything up. | 我们已经搞砸[炸]一切了 |
| [18:06] | We can’t blow it up again. | 没法再搞砸[炸]一次了 |
| [18:07] | If there’s one thing I know in this world, | 我播撒一下我的智慧 |
| [18:09] | it’s that you can always blow up the same thing twice. | 同一件事物 搞砸[炸]两次没问题 |
| [18:13] | He’s right. | 他说得没错 |
| [18:15] | We have one last move here. | 我们还有最后一招 |
| [18:17] | Guys, we are so sorry about your ordeal. | 很抱歉让你们受苦了 |
| [18:19] | We just have a few questions for you. | 我们就是想问几个问题 |
| [18:21] | Where are John and Simone? We can’t find them. | 约翰和西蒙妮呢 找不到他们了 |
| [18:24] | They left. | 他们离开了 |
| [18:27] | – I don’t know where they went. – Typical. | -我不知道他们去哪了 -预料之中 |
| [18:29] | Disloyal jerks. | 真没义气 |
| [18:30] | You know, man, actually, they really tried with you | 其实 他们努力过了 |
| [18:33] | and you made it very hard to be your friend. | 跟你做朋友 简直就是历劫 |
| [18:35] | You wanna know what happened? | 你想知道这是怎么回事吗 |
| [18:36] | They got jealous because I’m going to the Best Place. | 因为我要去”至善之地”了 他们羡慕嫉妒恨 |
| [18:39] | They bugged out. | 他们跑路了 |
| [18:40] | You’re not going to the Best Place! | 你不会去”至善之地” |
| [18:41] | Don’t you get it? They’re torturing you. | 你还没看明白啊 他们在折磨你 |
| [18:43] | They’re torturing all of us! | 他们在折磨我们所有人 |
| [18:46] | Because this is the Bad Place. | 因为这里是”恶地” |
| [18:57] | Man! | 真厉害 |
| [18:58] | I can’t believe you figured it out! | 竟然被你识破了 |
| [19:01] | Wait. He’s right? | 真被他说中了吗 |
| [19:03] | This is the Bad Place? | 这里是”恶地” |
| [19:04] | Yeah. Damn it, he’s right. | 对 该死 他识破了 |
| [19:07] | – Yeah, we had a good run, though, didn’t we? – Yeah, we did. | -但我们这一路演得很尽兴 -必须啊 |
| [19:09] | So… no Best Place? | 不存在”至善之地”吗 |
| [19:11] | “So no Best Place?” | 不存在”至善之地”吗 |
| [19:13] | Brent, you big white oaf. | 布兰特 你真是傻傻惹人烦啊 |
| [19:15] | Never change, bud. | 人设始终如一 好评 |
| [19:17] | Well, I guess we should let him know you guys are on your way. | 我们该通知一下 你们要上路了 |
| [19:20] | – Yeah. – Wait. On our way where? | -对 -上路 去哪里 |
| [19:21] | The actual Bad Place. | 真正的”恶地” |
| [19:23] | They let us toy with you a little just for kicks, | 我们只是拿你们练手 折磨玩一下 |
| [19:25] | but now you’re going… | 你们现在真要下地狱了 |
| [19:28] | And trust me on this. | 剧透一下 |
| [19:30] | It’s a lot worse. | 地狱比这里可怕多了 |
| [19:38] | – Well done. – Let’s hope it works. | -很好 -希望能成功吧 |
| [19:40] | We only have a minute left. | 就剩几分钟了 |
| [19:42] | Man, crazy twist, huh? | 惊天大反转啊 |
| [19:44] | It’s like something out of a Chip Driver novel. | 精彩程度堪比我那本”奇普·大司机”小说 |
| [19:46] | Leave me alone, Brent. | 你消停点吧 布兰特 |
| [19:47] | I’m kind of freaking out over here, man. | 我有点六神无主了 |
| [19:50] | You’re my only real friend. | 你是我唯一真正的朋友 |
| [19:51] | I’m not your friend. I don’t even like you. | 我不是你的朋友 我都不喜欢你 |
| [19:53] | – But you helped me. – Yeah, I did. | -但你救了我 -没错 |
| [19:55] | Because I have this stupid moral code that forces me to help everyone. | 因为”圣母白莲花”是我的人设 我没法见死不救 |
| [19:58] | But you have never helped anyone | 但你从没对任何伸出过援手 |
| [20:00] | because you don’t care about other people, | 因为你根本不在乎别人 |
| [20:02] | which is the bare minimum that a person has to do, | 而这是做人最基本的底线 |
| [20:04] | just care a little about the other people around you, | 对身边人稍微有点同情心 |
| [20:06] | and you can’t do it. | 你连这点都做不到 |
| [20:12] | What are you trying to say here? | 你到底想说什么 |
| [20:16] | You are a bad person. | 你是个坏人 |
| [20:21] | You can do this. | 你能行 |
| [20:22] | Come on, dumdum. Faster. | 抓紧时间 傻蛋 快啊 |
| [20:27] | No, I’m not. | 我才不是 |
| [20:29] | I’m not. I’m not. I’m not. I’m not. I’m not. I’m not. | 我不是 我不是 我不是 |
| [20:31] | I’m not a bad person. | 我不是坏人 |
| [20:33] | I’m not. | 我不是 |
| [20:34] | I’m a good person! | 我是个好人 |
| [20:39] | Man. | 天呐 |
| [20:41] | No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | 不 不 不 |
| [20:45] | No, no. | 不 |
| [20:47] | Look, Chidi, whatever happens next, | 奇迪 不管接下来怎样 |
| [20:49] | I– I need to say this to you. | 我要跟你说 |
| [20:52] | All right? I am… | 我… |
| [20:54] | I am so, so sorr– | 我很对不… |
| [21:06] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
| [21:07] | Eleanor asked me to bring her this the second the experiment was over. | 埃莉诺让我在终场结束时 拿过来 |
| [21:10] | Well, you know what they say. | 古话说得好 |
| [21:11] | It’s zero o’clock in the sky somewhere. | 人生得意须尽欢 莫使金樽空对月 |