| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:15] | The Constitution only recognizes | 宪法唯一承认的一点是 |
| [00:17] | that all people when they are illegal are immoral. | 任何犯法的人 都是不道德的 |
| [00:20] | And then they get busted | 然后那人就会被抓 |
| [00:22] | and they’re indecent, and that’s where it’s at. | 就不是体面人了 这就是宪法的重点所在 |
| [00:25] | Now, the last four years I spent in and out of the courts. | 过去四年我进进出出法院 |
| [00:28] | And I figured out, | 经过这四年 |
| [00:30] | after four years, uh, why I got arrested | 我搞懂了 |
| [00:33] | so many times. | 为什么我被逮捕了这么多次 |
| [00:34] | Dig what happened. Uh… | 听我说发生了什么 |
| [00:36] | I do my act at, oh, perhaps, | 某天我在晚上大概11点做表演 |
| [00:39] | Eleven o’clock at night. | |
| [00:41] | Little do I know that 11:00 a.m. the next morning, | 我不知道第二天早上11点 |
| [00:43] | before the grand jury somewhere, | 竟然有个人在某个地方的 |
| [00:45] | there’s another guy doing my act | 大陪审团面前表演我的东西 |
| [00:47] | who’s introduced as Lenny Bruce… in substance. | 别人介绍他是兰尼布鲁斯… 基本上算是他 |
| [00:51] | “Here he is, Lenny Bruce. In substance.” | “兰尼布鲁斯来了 |
| [00:54] | A peace officer, who is trained for, | 基本上算是他” 这人是个执法人员 |
| [00:57] | to recognize clear and present danger, | 接受过有关识别明确与即时危险 |
| [00:59] | not make believe, does the act. | 而非假想危险的训练 |
| [01:01] | The grand jury watches him work, and they go, “That stinks.” | 大陪审团看着他表演 然后说:“真恶臭” |
| [01:05] | But I get busted. | 结果我被抓了 |
| [01:07] | And the irony is that I have to go to court | 讽刺的是 |
| [01:09] | to defend his act. | 我不得不上法庭为他的表演辩护 |
| [01:11] | I want to show you this, here. | 我想给你们看看这个 |
| [01:13] | Again? | “纽约市刑事法院 |
| [01:15] | Uh, “Criminal Court, City of New York, | 2B法庭 |
| [01:17] | Part 2B, County of New York.” | 纽约县” |
| [01:20] | Uh, “The honorable judges and” blah, blah, blah. | “尊敬的法官们…” |
| [01:23] | “…attorney.” | “检察官… |
| [01:27] | “By the information filed on April 3, 1964, | “根据1964年4月3日 提交的信息 |
| [01:31] | the defendants Lenny Bruce and Harold L. Solomon were charged | “被告兰尼布鲁斯与哈罗德所罗门 |
| [01:34] | in two separate counts, giving an indecent performance | “被控两项不同的罪名 |
| [01:36] | in violation of Section 1148 of the penal law of New York.” | “违反纽约刑法第1148节 “进行不雅表演” |
| [01:40] | All right, now that’s the grand jury. | 这是大陪审团 |
| [01:42] | That was the first bust. Uh… | 是我第一次被抓 |
| [01:46] | “During the first performance, Bruce fondles the microphone | “在第一次演出中 |
| [01:49] | in a masturbatory fashion. | “布鲁斯以手淫的方式抚弄麦克风 |
| [01:51] | Second performance, while telling an act of exposure, | “第二次演出中 布鲁斯正讲述露阴行为 |
| [01:53] | Bruce then turned his back toward the audience | “然后他转过身去 |
| [01:55] | and moved his hand outward and upward, below his waist, | “把一只手伸出来 向上移到腰部以下 |
| [01:57] | in an obvious and crude pantomime | “明显是在表演粗俗的 |
| [02:00] | of an act of exposure and masturbation.” | 露阴和手淫行为” |
| [02:03] | Okay, so I said, “Make sure to tell him | 我当时就说 麻烦谁来告诉他 |
| [02:05] | it’s gestures of benediction, not masturbation.” | 这是祝福的手势 不是手淫 |
| [02:07] | Because, like, I would never make gestures of masturbation. | 因为 我永远不会做手淫的手势 |
| [02:10] | Because I like, like, I’m-I’m concerned with, uh… | 因为我喜欢…我很在意自己的形象 |
| [02:13] | with, uh, my-my image and I know you know, what offends chicks. | 我知道什么会冒犯小妞们 |
| [02:17] | Uh, what’s ugly to them, uh, what frightens them. | 什么对她们来说是丑陋的 什么会让她们害怕 |
| [02:20] | So I said, “Tell him it’s gestures of benediction.” | 所以我就说 麻烦告诉他 这是祝福的手势 |
| [02:25] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [02:27] | Uh… | |
| [02:29] | Ah, “Three… | “三 |
| [02:31] | Saint Paul giving up fucking.” | 圣保罗放弃性交” |
| [02:33] | Okay, what I said there was… | 这个是指我当时说… |
| [02:36] | Uh, that’s how the bit is reported. | 那段子在报告上写成了这样 |
| [02:38] | But I said that, uh… | 我当时说的是… |
| [02:40] | Oh, I forget, it’s been so long since I did that bit. | 我忘了 |
| [02:42] | Uh… | 已经很久没表演那段子了 |
| [02:45] | I said that, uh… | 我当时说的是独身… |
| [02:47] | I said, uh, how the hell did I do that bit? I said… | 我是怎么说的来着? |
| [02:49] | Now I see, I… | 我忘了那段子是怎么说的了 |
| [02:51] | I forget the bit, I… No, it’s weird | |
| [02:53] | ’cause I didn’t know that was a bit that they… | 这个很奇怪 |
| [02:55] | that they put in there and, uh… | 因为我不知道 |
| [02:57] | I forget where it, where it started. | 他们把这个段子写了进去 |
| [02:59] | I think I was talking about the how the Jews lost… | 我忘了这个段子开头是怎么说的了 |
| [03:04] | Ah. | 我当时好像是在讲 犹太人是怎么失去… |
| [03:06] | – Hey, do you want to see my dance? – No! | -你们想看我跳舞吗? -不想! |
| [03:08] | Yeah, I’ll do my dance for you, uh… | 我还是为你们跳舞吧 |
| [03:10] | Here, this is the first time that I’ve ever danced | 这是我第一次在观众面前跳舞 |
| [03:12] | in front of an audience. | |
| [03:13] | This is my, uh, my American folk dance. | 这是我的美国民俗舞 |
| [03:16] | Uh… | |
| [03:27] | Hello. Dirty Lenny’s in here. | 哈喽 |
| [03:31] | Dirty Lenny is going on soon. | 哈喽 |
| [03:33] | The pornographer. | 下流兰尼来了 |
| [03:35] | Uh, look, I really dug working with you. | 臭名昭著的色情表演者 |
| [03:38] | I did, and, uh… Oh, as Will Rogers once said, | 下流兰尼即将上台表演 我真的很享受和你们一起工作 |
| [03:41] | “I never met a dyke I didn’t like.” | 真的 |
| [03:43] | And, uh, and goodnight. | 用威尔罗杰斯说过的一句话送给你们 |
| [03:45] | ♪ When your mother ♪ | “我从未遇到过一个 |
| [03:47] | ♪ Sends back all your invitations ♪ | 我不喜欢的女同” |
| [03:53] | ♪ And your father to your sister… | 晚安 |
| [03:56] | Lenny Bruce. | 兰尼布鲁斯? |
| [03:58] | – Yeah? – You remember me? | 嗯 |
| [04:01] | Susie Myerson. | 记得我吗?我是苏西迈尔森 |
| [04:03] | The chopped liver yenta from Allerton Avenue? | 来自阿勒顿大道的无名长舌妇? |
| [04:05] | No. I’m a manager. I’m Midge Maisel’s manager. | 不 我是一个经纪人 |
| [04:08] | Didn’t you used to be a man? | 是米琪梅赛尔的经纪人 你以前不是男人吗? |
| [04:10] | No, I did not. | 不是 |
| [04:12] | Hey, who’s holding? | 谁有烟? |
| [04:16] | You’re doing some, uh, interesting stuff up there. | 刚刚在台上的表演挺有意思的 |
| [04:18] | Yeah, did you see my dance? | 是啊 你看到我跳舞了吗? |
| [04:20] | Hey, if you see Slim, | 如果你看到了瘦子 告诉他我在这儿 |
| [04:22] | tell him I’m here and he needs to get a fucking watch. | 还告诉他 他得去买块手表 |
| [04:24] | – The show’s been over for hours. – You got it, Lenny. | -演出都结束好几个小时了 -好的 |
| [04:26] | Hey, Lenny, you want to get out of here? | 兰尼 |
| [04:27] | Go somewhere to talk? | 你想不想出去? |
| [04:29] | Shit. | 要不要换个地方谈谈? |
| [04:31] | I remember you now. | 哎呀 |
| [04:33] | Gaslight? | 我想起来你是谁了 煤气灯? |
| [04:34] | Yes. Gaslight. Long time ago. | 是的 煤气灯 |
| [04:37] | I’m a manager now. | 那是很久以前了 我现在是经纪人了 |
| [04:38] | – Of the Gaslight? – No. | 煤气灯的经理? |
| [04:40] | I’m a talent manager. | 不 我是艺人经纪人 |
| [04:42] | I’m Midge Maisel’s manager. | 我是米琪梅赛尔的经纪人 |
| [04:44] | I’m Dick Gregory’s manager. I’m Phyllis Diller’s manager. | 迪克格雷戈里的经纪人 菲利斯迪勒的经纪人 |
| [04:46] | I’m Eartha Kitt’s manager. I’m a lot of people’s manager. | 厄莎基特的经纪人 我是很多人的经纪人 |
| [04:49] | Listen, let’s just go get some food, huh? Some coffee. | 我们去买点吃的吧 喝些咖啡 |
| [04:52] | No, I’m not hungry. | 我不饿 |
| [04:53] | Then let’s just get you back on your feet. | 我们想办法让你重新站起来怎么样? |
| [04:55] | – How about that? – Back on my feet? | 重新站起来? |
| [04:59] | What I saw out there tonight was a fucking disgrace. | 今晚你在台上的表演真是太丢人了 |
| [05:02] | Nobody wants to see you babble on about bullshit, man. | 没人想听你喋喋不休地胡说八道 |
| [05:05] | They want you to be funny. | 他们只想听你讲幽默的段子 |
| [05:06] | You forget how to tell a joke or make | 是不是不带上案件编号你就会忘了 |
| [05:08] | an observation without a fucking case number attached to it? | 怎么讲笑话或者发议论? |
| [05:11] | I’m an observational cat, dig? | 发议论我最拿手 懂? |
| [05:13] | I observe and then I report. That’s all I can do. | 我发议论 然后我做报告 这是我唯一能做的 |
| [05:15] | – You can do more than that. – Like sing? | 你还能做别的 |
| [05:17] | Like club dates. | -比如唱歌? -去夜店演出 |
| [05:18] | – Oh, man, come on. – What come on? | 拜托 什么“拜托”? |
| [05:21] | The fuck are you talking about, club dates? | 你在说什么鬼?夜店演出? |
| [05:23] | There are no more club dates. | 去夜店演出已经不可能了 |
| [05:24] | This, tonight, was a fluke. | 今晚这个都是侥幸 |
| [05:26] | They thought they booked Bruce Lee. | 他们误以为请来的是李小龙 |
| [05:27] | Are you trying to stand up? | 你是想起身吗? |
| [05:29] | I don’t know what the fuck I’m trying to do. | 我都不知道我是想干什么 |
| [05:31] | Club dates. | 夜店演出 |
| [05:34] | Yes, I’m trying to stand up. | 没错 我是想起身 |
| [05:38] | I can’t step foot in any club east of the Grand Canyon. | 我进不了大峡谷以东的任何一家夜店 |
| [05:43] | I’ve been pushed so far west, I got nothing left but Catalina. | 被推到这么远的西部 除了圣卡塔利娜岛 我别无选择 |
| [05:45] | Next week I’m working on the back of a dolphin. | 下周我将骑在海豚背上 |
| [05:47] | Jonah and the Whale for a pack of marlin | 化身约拿去捕一群马林鱼 |
| [05:48] | – and a school of sardines. – I can change that. | 我可以改变你的处境 |
| [05:50] | Yeah? How? | 是吗?怎么改变? |
| [05:52] | I have connections. People owe me favors. | 我有人脉 有人欠我人情 |
| [05:54] | You’re gonna use your favors up on me? | 你要为了我动用你的人情?为什么? |
| [05:56] | Why? | |
| [05:58] | Because you are Lenny Bruce. | 因为你是兰尼布鲁斯 |
| [06:00] | There’s only ever gonna be one of you. | 世上永远只有一个兰尼布鲁斯 |
| [06:02] | Let’s get him back. | 我们把他找回来吧 |
| [06:04] | Lenny? | 兰尼 |
| [06:06] | Slim’s here. | 瘦子来了 |
| [06:12] | Keep those favors. | 别为我动用你的人情 |
| [06:15] | Use them for someone worthy. | 留给有价值的人吧 |
| [06:19] | Congratulations on repping Dick Capri. | 祝贺你当了迪克卡普里的代理人 |
| [06:21] | He’s a good comic. | 他是很不错的喜剧演员 |
| [06:26] | Hey, Susie? | 喂 苏西 |
| [06:29] | Is Midge here? No. Just me. | 米琪来了吗? |
| [06:34] | Oh. ♪ Won’t you come see me ♪ ♪ You can forget all your troubles ♪ | 没 |
| [06:47] | ♪ Forget all your cares ♪ ♪ So go downtown ♪ ♪ Things will be great… | 只有我来了 |
| [06:53] | – Well? – No. | 怎么样? |
| [06:56] | ♪ No finer place for sure… | 没成 |
| [06:58] | You tell him you talked to Albert Grossman? | -跟他说了你和格罗斯曼谈过了吗? |
| [07:01] | He’s a mess, Miriam. | -他的状态一团糟 |
| [07:02] | ♪ For you… | -你想不想进去… |
| [07:07] | – You want to go in and… – No. No. | -不用 |
| [07:13] | Look, I’m gonna be in L.A. next month. | 我下个月要去洛杉矶 |
| [07:15] | If he’s around, I will try again. | 如果见到他 |
| [07:17] | ♪ Downtown… | 我会再试一次 |
| [07:19] | Come on, let’s go get drunk. ♪ Where they never close ♪ | 来吧 |
| [07:24] | ♪ Downtown… ♪ To the rhythm of a gentle bossa nova ♪ | 我们去狂饮一顿 |
| [07:31] | ♪ You’ll be dancing with ’em, too, before the night is over… ♪ I happen to like ♪ ♪ New York ♪ | 神奇的梅赛尔太太 |
| [07:49] | ♪ I happen to like this town ♪ ♪ I like the city air, I like to drink of it ♪ ♪ The more I know New York, the more I think of it ♪ | 1961年 |
| [07:58] | ♪ I like the sight and the sound and even the stink of it ♪ ♪ I happen… | 纽约市 |
| [08:03] | Hey. Buddy, wake up. | 喂 伙计 醒醒 |
| [08:06] | Come on, sleep it off at home. | 起来 回家去睡 |
| [08:09] | Okay, move it. Hey! | 好了 快起来 |
| [08:11] | Stop it! | 喂 住手! |
| [08:12] | – You stop it! – Hey. Hey! | 你住手 |
| [08:13] | Listen! Ow! You’re not listening to me. | 听着 |
| [08:16] | Ow! ♪ I suppose it’s because they all agree with me… | 你没在听我说话 |
| [08:24] | And you’re releasing her? | 你们要放了她? |
| [08:25] | She plays poker with the chief. | 她跟局长打扑克 |
| [08:27] | Well, I feel very safe. | 好吧 我觉得很安全 |
| [08:29] | – Just sign here. – Thank you. | 在这里签名吧 |
| [08:33] | – Okay. – Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [08:36] | – Thanks. – Hello, there. | 谢谢 你好呀 |
| [08:39] | Thanks for coming. | 谢谢你过来 |
| [08:40] | Got everything? | 东西都拿上了吗? |
| [08:42] | All you need is your health, right? | 只要人健康就够了 对吧? |
| [08:44] | Let’s go. ♪ I happen to like New York ♪ | 走吧 |
| [08:49] | ♪ I happen to love ♪ ♪ New York ♪ ♪ If you won’t take my best advice ♪ | 馅饼 |
| [09:04] | ♪ I’m not nice ♪ ♪ If you don’t say that I’m okay ♪ ♪ That isn’t any way to be… | 蛋糕 |
| [09:15] | – Here. – Thanks. | -给 |
| [09:17] | You need anything else? | -谢谢 还需要什么吗? |
| [09:21] | Want to tell me what’s going on? | 想告诉我发生什么事了吗? |
| [09:26] | Okay. Oh! | 好吧 |
| [09:31] | Hey! Shoot. | 喂 哎呀 |
| [09:33] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
| [09:40] | I asked her to get you on the show. | -我去求了她让你上节目 |
| [09:42] | What? | -什么? |
| [09:43] | Hedy. I asked her, | 我去求海蒂了 |
| [09:44] | as a favor to me, to get you on the show. | 请她帮我个忙 |
| [09:47] | Oh. | 让你上节目 |
| [09:48] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [09:49] | I don’t know if she’ll do it, but I asked. | 我不知道她会不会帮忙 至少我求她了 |
| [09:53] | I mean, she owes me, so she should. | 她欠我的 |
| [09:55] | Maybe she’ll feel guilty about everything. | 应该会帮忙 |
| [09:57] | People feel guilty sometimes. | 也许她会对一切都感到内疚 人有时会感到内疚 |
| [10:00] | Even if they don’t show it, right? | 哪怕没表现出来 对吧? |
| [10:02] | Sure. Sometimes. | 当然 有时是这样 |
| [10:05] | Look, I know you never want to talk about anything personal. | 我知道你从不想谈任何私事… |
| [10:08] | That’s right. I don’t. | 没错 不想 |
| [10:09] | But you are so upset. | 可你现在情绪很激动 |
| [10:11] | Well, I was incarcerated, Miriam, hmm? | 因为我被监禁了啊 米里亚姆 |
| [10:13] | That changes a person. | 这会改变一个人 |
| [10:20] | I mean, you go on with your life. | 你继续过你的人生 |
| [10:22] | You file shit away, you don’t expect you ever have to deal | 把烂事打包存放起来 不希望再面对它 |
| [10:25] | with it again, and then there they are. | 然后突然之间 |
| [10:28] | You know, walking right back into your life, | 那些人又重新走进了你的生活 |
| [10:30] | uninvited, just standing there. | 不请自来 就那么站在那儿 |
| [10:32] | They don’t even have the decency | 而且一点体面都没有 |
| [10:34] | to get fat or unattractive or stupid or dull. | 竟然没有变胖、变丑、变蠢或者变呆 |
| [10:37] | And now they’re blonde. Fucking blonde! | 现在还成了金发 |
| [10:41] | You were… | 该死的金发 你俩之前… |
| [10:44] | …involved? | …在一起过? |
| [10:50] | I was on a scholarship at Pembroke. | 我那时拿奖学金在彭布罗克念书 |
| [10:52] | I had to work in the dining room, bus tables. | 我不得不在餐厅工作 清理桌子 |
| [10:55] | Every day, this rich girl and her friends would come in. | 每天都有个富家小姐 和她的朋友们进来 |
| [10:58] | They always sat in my section. | 总是坐在我负责的那一片 |
| [11:00] | And she’d wave me over, wanting sugar cubes. | 她总是挥手叫我过去 说想要方糖 |
| [11:03] | Okay, now there were fucking sugar cubes already there, | 其实她面前已经有方糖了 |
| [11:05] | right in front of her, it didn’t matter. | |
| [11:07] | She’d call me over asking about sugar cubes. | 她依然会把我叫过去 说她要方糖 |
| [11:09] | Every goddamned day. | 每天都这样 |
| [11:11] | Well, finally, I had it. | 最后我受够了 |
| [11:13] | Told her to fuck off. | 叫她滚 |
| [11:15] | Wasn’t there to be her dinner theater entertainment. | 我又不是供她用餐时取乐的小丑 |
| [11:19] | And she looks at me and she says, | 然后她看着我说 |
| [11:21] | “But I just wanted to talk to you.” | “我只是想和你说说话” |
| [11:25] | That was it. | 就这么一句话 |
| [11:27] | Eight fucking words that cursed my life. | 简简单单的一句话坑了我一生 |
| [11:31] | So, just to be super clear, you two were… together. | 先明确一下 你俩在一起过 对吧? |
| [11:36] | Meaning what did she see in me? | 你是想问她到底是看上我什么了? |
| [11:38] | No, of course not. | 当然不是 |
| [11:40] | I know exactly what she saw in you. | 我很清楚她看上了你什么 |
| [11:42] | It was an unnatural pairing, okay? I know that. | 我和她完全不配 好吗? |
| [11:45] | It was just dumb. | 我知道的 太傻气了 |
| [11:47] | We looked ridiculous together. | 我俩在一起的画面就很可笑 |
| [11:49] | I had one warm hat. | 那时我有一顶很暖和的帽子 |
| [11:52] | Furry, ear flaps. | 两侧有毛茸茸的耳罩 |
| [11:54] | When I wore it, I looked like her dog. | 我戴着这顶帽子时 看上去就像是她的宠物狗 |
| [11:56] | Like she was taking me out for a fucking walk. | 仿佛她是在带我出门散步一样 |
| [11:58] | I know that’s not true. | 真实的状态肯定不是这样 |
| [11:59] | We fought all the time. | 我们经常吵架 |
| [12:01] | I hated her friends. She hated going to clubs. | 我讨厌她的朋友 她讨厌去夜店 |
| [12:04] | I never met her family. She never met my family. | 我从未见过她的家人 她从未见过我的家人 |
| [12:06] | She chewed weird. | 她嚼东西的样子很奇怪 |
| [12:08] | – Hmm. – I always caught her drawing me | 我经常发现她趁我没注意时画我 |
| [12:09] | when I wasn’t looking. | 她会花几小时做头发 |
| [12:12] | She would spend hours doing her hair. Boring me stiff talking about art, but… | 谈起艺术来总是让我无聊得要死 |
| [12:18] | You know, she was also smart… | 但她很聪明 |
| [12:20] | and funny. | 也很幽默 |
| [12:22] | I actually believed her | 她说大学毕业后 |
| [12:24] | when she said after college, we’d move to Egypt | 我们就搬去埃及 把骆驼出租给有钱的游客 |
| [12:27] | and rent out camels to rich tourists. | 我真信了她的话 |
| [12:31] | We were gonna adopt four of the ugliest kids in the world, | 我们还说要收养四个特别丑的孩子 |
| [12:33] | raise them to be really snobby, arrogant fucks. | 把她们培养成特别势利 目中无人的混蛋 |
| [12:36] | Just confuse the shit out of everyone. | 就为了把所有人都搅迷糊 |
| [12:40] | Junior year, | 大三的时候 |
| [12:41] | her mother took her to Paris. | 她妈带她去了趟巴黎 |
| [12:43] | And she came back engaged. | 回来时她已经订婚了 |
| [12:48] | I mean, she didn’t marry him, but that was it. | 最后她没嫁给他 但我们因为这事分手了 |
| [12:51] | So I dropped out, moved to New York. | 我退了学 |
| [12:53] | Burned that fucking hat. | 搬来了纽约 还烧掉了那顶可恶的帽子 |
| [12:55] | Oh, Susie. I am so sorry. | 苏西 我很抱歉 |
| [12:58] | I didn’t know. I never would’ve asked you | 我先前不知情 如果我知情 |
| [13:01] | to go to her if I had, never. | 我绝不会叫你去求她 绝不会 |
| [13:03] | No. I’m your manager. | 不 我是你的经纪人 |
| [13:05] | You were right. Had to be done. | 你说的是对的 这事必须做 |
| [13:10] | Is that the only time you’ve been in love? | 那是你唯一一次爱上别人吗? |
| [13:12] | I didn’t say love. | -我可没提“爱”这个字 |
| [13:14] | Okay. | -好的 |
| [13:16] | But yes. | 不过你猜对了 |
| [13:17] | And the last. | 而且是我最后一次那样 |
| [13:22] | I think you’ll fall in love again. | 我认为你会再次坠入爱河的 |
| [13:24] | Uh-huh. I’m sure it will have the same disastrous outcome. | 到时肯定会有同样的灾难结局 |
| [13:28] | Why would you say that? | 为什么你会这么觉得? |
| [13:33] | Were you ever a blonde? | 你曾经是金发吗? |
| [13:34] | I was. | 曾经是 |
| [13:36] | College. For a bit. | 大学期间有过一阵是 |
| [13:38] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [13:40] | I figured. | 我猜到了 |
| [13:46] | Rose, I think we’ve been had. | 罗斯 |
| [13:48] | Neither of those children are sick. | 我们应该是被耍了 俩孩子都没有生病 |
| [13:50] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么? |
| [13:51] | I just overheard them laughing at us | 我刚才偷听到他们嘲笑我们 |
| [13:53] | for falling for their scam. | 说我们上了他们的当 |
| [13:55] | Calling us nitwits and dodo birds. | 说我们是傻子 是渡渡鸟 |
| [13:57] | I felt Ethan’s head. He was burning up. | 我摸过伊森的额头 他是在发烧 |
| [13:59] | Apparently, he stuck his head under the hot water faucet | 据说是因为他把脑袋 |
| [14:01] | – for ten full minutes. – What? | 在热水龙头下面冲了整整十分钟 |
| [14:03] | It was Esther’s idea. She orchestrated the whole thing. | -什么? -是艾斯特的主意 全是她策划的 |
| [14:06] | Well, that’s terrible. They should be punished. | 太可怕了 得惩罚他们 |
| [14:08] | I agree. I’m going to the Voice. | 我同意 我现在要去《乡村之声》 |
| [14:10] | Aren’t you going to punish them? | 你不惩罚他们吗? |
| [14:11] | I have an editorial meeting. | 我得参加一个编辑会议 |
| [14:13] | You’re not suggesting that I punish them? | 你的意思该不会是要我惩罚他们吧? |
| [14:15] | You know, keep it minimal. They’re young. | 意思一下就行了 他们还小 |
| [14:17] | But they did call us nitwits. | 但他们确实说了我们是傻子 -很好 |
| [14:19] | Oh, good, their mother can do it. | 把这事交给他们的妈妈 -什么事交给我? |
| [14:21] | – Do what? – Discipline your children. | -管教你的孩子 -为什么? |
| [14:23] | – For what? – They feigned illness and called us names. | 他们装病 还骂我们 |
| [14:25] | – To your face? Bold. – Ah-ha-ha! | 当着你们的面骂的?胆小不小 |
| [14:27] | Now they’re rubbing our noses in it. | 现在他们还一个劲揭我们的短 |
| [14:29] | You also have to tell those people at your work | 你得告诉同事 |
| [14:31] | that this is a home, not an answering service. | 这里是我们的家 不是代接电话服务站 |
| [14:33] | I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mama. | 我不知道你在说啥 妈妈 |
| [14:34] | They have been calling all morning. | 他们给我们打了一上午的电话 |
| [14:36] | Six times, to be exact. | 准确地说是六次 |
| [14:38] | I told Alvin I’d be back this afternoon. | 我跟艾文说了下午我会回去 他知道的 |
| [14:39] | – He knew that. – And by the way, | 顺便说一下 我听说 |
| [14:41] | they say that children who lie become violent criminals. | 小孩爱说谎 长大了会犯罪 |
| [14:43] | – I have to change, Mama. – Does this not concern you? | 我现在得换衣服 妈妈 这事你不担心吗? |
| [14:45] | – Not particularly. – Hmm. I thought, as their mother, | 不是特别担心 |
| [14:48] | you might want to do something about it. | 我还以为作为他们的母亲 你会想做点什么呢 |
| [14:50] | – Like what? – How should I know? | 比如什么? 我怎么知道? |
| [14:52] | And there you have it. I learned from the best. | 那不就结了?这方面你是最在行的 今天的铃声不太响 艾文 关于View-Master片盘 我有很多想法 都是克拉马斯福尔斯 |
| [15:03] | – Alvin? – Yes? | -艾文 -什么事? |
| [15:05] | I will have you know that I am here on time every single day. | 我希望你知道我每天都有准时来上班 -这个嘛… |
| [15:08] | – Well… – On time enough every single day. | -足够准时 每天都是这样 |
| [15:10] | I do not call in sick. | 我从没请过病假 |
| [15:12] | I do not come in hungover. | 从没带着宿醉来上班 |
| [15:13] | – Why is she looking at me? – I stay for every show. | -她为什么要看着我? -每场秀我都留下来看 |
| [15:15] | I go to every event. | 每次活动我都参加了 |
| [15:17] | I get you the fresh peanuts at Toots Shor. | 我在图茨肖尔帮你拿过新鲜花生 |
| [15:18] | I make sure you boys eat, | 为了让你们都吃点东西 |
| [15:21] | that the creamer was sold in this century. | 我费了心思 我还会检查奶精是不是本世纪生产的 |
| [15:22] | I cover for you when you are with your bookie, so… | 你给你的博彩公司打电话时 我替你打过掩护 |
| [15:25] | if I need a couple of hours one afternoon to deal with | 所以 如果某天下午我需要抽两小时 |
| [15:27] | a personal matter, you should accept that without calling | 去处理个人事务 你们应该接受 |
| [15:29] | constantly like Adam’s wife. | 而不是像亚当的老婆那样 不停地打来电话 |
| [15:31] | I have two children. I have elderly parents. | 我有两个孩子 有年迈的父母 |
| [15:34] | I have responsibilities that sometimes require my attention. | 我身上扛着责任 这些责任有时需要我去处理 |
| [15:38] | Is something wrong with your children? | 是不是你的孩子出什么事了? |
| [15:39] | No, besides becoming sociopaths, | 没有 除了正在成为反社会之外 |
| [15:41] | my children are fine. That’s not the point. | 他们没有别的问题 但这不是我要讲的重点 |
| [15:42] | Something happen to your parents? | 那就是你的父母出什么事了? |
| [15:44] | My parents are fine. I’m just saying you are not taking into | 我的父母很平安 我只是想说你们没有考虑到一件事 |
| [15:46] | account that I have children or extremely old parents. | 我有孩子和年迈的父母 |
| [15:49] | – Did you go shopping? – Why, Mel? | 你去逛街了吗? |
| [15:51] | Because I’m a woman? And all women do is shop? | 为什么这么问?就因为我是女人? 而所有女人都只爱逛街? |
| [15:54] | No, because you’re in a different outfit | 不是 是因为你现在穿的衣服 |
| [15:55] | from this morning and it has the tag on it. | 跟今天早上的不一样 而且吊牌都还没撕掉 |
| [15:59] | Okay. Yes. | 好吧 |
| [16:01] | This is a new dress. But I did not go shopping. | 这是新衣服 但我没去逛街 |
| [16:03] | And I did not call you. | 而我也没给你打电话 |
| [16:05] | Oh. Well, who did? | |
| [16:07] | Midge, I’ve been calling you. | 那是谁打的? |
| [16:09] | Gordon wants to see you. | 米琪 |
| [16:11] | Oh. | 我一直在给你打电话 戈登想见你 |
| [16:12] | Sure. | 好的 |
| [16:20] | Did she say her children were sociopaths? | 她刚才是不是说了 |
| [16:22] | Uh-huh. | 她的孩子是反社会? |
| [16:24] | Gordon? I got Midge. | 戈登 米琪来了 |
| [16:28] | Give us a minute, Mike? | 我们要单独谈一会儿 |
| [16:29] | Uh… sure. | 迈克 好的 |
| [16:37] | What happened with Paar? | 帕尔那边怎么样了? |
| [16:39] | – What? – He book you? | -什么? -他向你邀约了吗? |
| [16:41] | – Nope. – Was he there? | 没有 |
| [16:43] | Yep. | -他当时在场吗? -在 |
| [16:44] | – So he saw you. – He did. | -所以他看了你的表演? -是的 |
| [16:46] | – You didn’t wow him? – I was great. | -你没有让他惊叹吗? -我的表演很棒 |
| [16:47] | So I guess this “you’ll see” that you threw | 看来短期之内你叫我“等着瞧”的事 |
| [16:49] | in my face is gonna have to wait a while. | 是不会发生了 |
| [16:50] | That’s okay. | 没关系 |
| [16:52] | I’m patient. | 我有耐心 |
| [16:53] | Patient? | 有耐心?有意思 |
| [16:55] | Mm, funny. | 你有耐心 |
| [16:56] | Is that why you called out your hounds? | 怎么还召唤猎犬呢? |
| [16:58] | What hounds? | 什么猎犬? |
| [17:00] | Yeah. Sure. | 呵呵 |
| [17:02] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [17:04] | You win, you’re on the show. | 你赢了 |
| [17:06] | The show? This show? | 你要上节目了 节目?我们的节目? |
| [17:08] | That’s the one. Wow. | 没错 |
| [17:12] | Really? Well… wow. | 真的? |
| [17:16] | – Tonight. – Tonight? | -今晚 -今晚? |
| [17:18] | You’re on the show tonight. | 今晚你要上节目了 |
| [17:19] | Oh. Uh… | |
| [17:20] | – Problem? – No. | -有问题吗? -没问题 |
| [17:22] | – No problem. – Not convenient? | -不方便吗? |
| [17:23] | – I didn’t say that. – Want to check with | -我没说不方便 |
| [17:24] | – your girl, have her get back to my girl? – No. | 想叫你经纪人过来 跟我助理确认一下吗? |
| [17:25] | I can just put the whole show on hiatus | -不用 -我可以让节目暂时停播 |
| [17:27] | till you decide what works for you. | 等你决定一个时间 |
| [17:28] | Tonight is great. Best night ever. | 今晚很棒 今晚正好 今晚最适合 |
| [17:29] | – Love tonight. I’m sure. – You sure? | -你确定? -我确定 |
| [17:31] | – I’m thrilled. – I can tell. | -我真高兴 -我看得出来 |
| [17:34] | Does it bother you that I’m thrilled? | 你没想过为什么我很高兴吗? |
| [17:37] | I’m thrilled you’re thrilled. | 只要你高兴 我就高兴 |
| [17:40] | Okay, well, I guess that’s it. | 好吧 |
| [17:42] | Gordon. | 那就谈到这儿吧 戈登? |
| [17:44] | Yeah? | 什么事? |
| [17:49] | – See you tonight. | – See you tonight. 今晚见 今晚见 |
| [17:57] | You want the door closed? | 你想让我关上门吗? |
| [18:00] | I do, otherwise when I hurl this glass at it, | 关上 不然等我把玻璃杯往门那边砸 |
| [18:02] | it will fly out into the bullpen and hit someone on the head. | 它就会飞去楼下大办公室砸到别人 |
| [18:04] | – Lawsuits. – Sure. | 那我就得吃官司了 |
| [18:06] | Yeah, you got to think about these things. | -没错 -得考虑到这些事情 |
| [18:07] | That’s why you’re the boss. | 所以你才能当上老板 |
| [18:09] | Yes, the boss. That is me. | 是的 老板 我是老板 |
| [18:30] | – It’s too obscure. – No, it’s not, if I ask my mother… | 太晦涩了 不 如果我问我妈… |
| [18:32] | Alvin. I have to go home. | 艾文 我得回家了 |
| [18:34] | – You just got here. – I know. I have to change. | 你不是才来? 我知道 可我得去换衣服 |
| [18:36] | – You just changed. – We saw the tag. | -你不是才换吗? -我们都看到吊牌了 |
| [18:38] | – I need a different outfit. – Why? | -我需要换套不一样的服装 |
| [18:40] | I am gonna be on the show tonight. | -为什么? 今晚我要上节目 |
| [18:43] | – What? – How? – What happened to the rule? | -什么? -你怎么能上? -那条规矩呢? |
| [18:45] | – Did they change the rule? – Alvin! – That’s bullshit, Alvin! | -规矩改了? -艾文 -那是胡扯 |
| [18:47] | – What the fuck? – What the ever-loving fuck? | -怎么回事? -到底怎么回事? |
| [18:49] | Whoa, boys, stop being so happy for me, seriously. | 伙计们 别太为我高兴了 |
| [18:52] | I might cry. I’m going on the show tonight. | 是真的 我都要哭了 |
| [18:54] | And I’m in work clothes. I need show clothes. | 今晚我要上节目 可我现在穿着工作服 |
| [18:56] | – Very different clothes. – How? | 我需要适合上节目的服装 那是非常不同的服装 你怎么上的? |
| [18:59] | I could explain it to you, but there will be terms | 我可以给你们解释 |
| [19:00] | like “side darts” and “ruching” bandied about. | 但是涉及一些类似 “褶饰”的术语需要讨论 |
| [19:01] | Go. Please. | 快去吧 |
| [19:03] | I wouldn’t have to change if I got on the show. | 如果是我上节目 我就不必换装了 |
| [19:06] | – Yank it! – I’m yanking it. | -猛拉 |
| [19:07] | It’s not moving. | -我在猛拉 它就是不动 |
| [19:09] | – Try a jiggle. – If you jiggle, it will fall. | -抖动试试 -抖动它就会掉出来 |
| [19:11] | – It’s not moving. – What we need is a squirrel. | -它就是不动 -我们需要一只松鼠 |
| [19:13] | To do what, Maggie? | 要松鼠做什么 马吉? |
| [19:15] | To go out there and get the package. | 去把包裹拿过来 |
| [19:16] | So a trained squirrel? You’re saying we need | 所以还得是只训练有素的松鼠 |
| [19:18] | a trained squirrel. Am I understanding this correctly? | 你的意思是我们需要一只 训练有素的松鼠 我理解对了吗? |
| [19:21] | – Well, it wouldn’t hurt. – This thing is not moving. | 又没什么坏处 这玩意就是不动 |
| [19:23] | Shit. Do you remember who the envelope was from? | 可恶 你还记得信封上 写的寄件人是谁吗? |
| [19:25] | The messenger just said delivery | 送信的只说是 |
| [19:27] | for Susie Myerson and Associates. | “寄给苏西梅尔森事务所” |
| [19:29] | Did it ever occur to you to tell him | 你有没有想过叫他向左走大概半米 |
| [19:31] | to just walk two feet to the left and actually drop it | 然后把包裹真正地 |
| [19:33] | at Susie Myerson and Associates? | 放在苏西梅尔森事务所? |
| [19:35] | – No. – Why not? | -没想过 -为什么? |
| [19:36] | Because we have the bucket! | 因为我们有水桶! |
| [19:38] | The bucket is fun. | 用水桶传东西很好玩 |
| [19:40] | What’s scary is that we are three | 太可怕了 |
| [19:41] | of the more intelligent people in show business. | 我们已经是演艺圈相对聪明的人了 |
| [19:44] | How do you like my dress? | 觉得我的裙子怎么样? |
| [19:46] | Why aren’t you at work? | 你怎么没在上班? |
| [19:48] | – Do you like it? – Miriam, please. | 你喜欢吗? 米里亚姆 |
| [19:50] | One ding-dong at a time. | 拜托 你们不要同时犯二行吗? |
| [19:51] | Do you think this is a dress that says, “I’m gonna be | 你觉不觉得这件裙子在说 |
| [19:53] | on The Gordon Ford Show tonight”? | “今晚我要上《戈登福特秀》”? |
| [19:54] | Sure. | 当然 |
| [19:56] | What? Fuck you. | 什么?去你的 |
| [19:58] | No, fuck you. | 去你的 |
| [20:00] | – Are you serious? – I’m Antigone without the laughs. | 你是说真的吗? 千真万确 绝无戏言 |
| [20:02] | I can’t believe it. What happened? | 我简直不敢相信 是怎么回事? |
| [20:04] | Gordon called me into his office and told me | 戈登找我谈话 叫我上节目 |
| [20:05] | – I’m on the show. Tonight. – Geez, short notice. | 就今晚 哎呀 怎么这么急? |
| [20:08] | – He was pissed. – Why? | -他很生气 -为什么? |
| [20:09] | – Why do you think? – She asked him. | 你觉得呢? -她找过他 |
| [20:12] | – I think she asked him. – Well, I’ll be damned. | -我想是的 天杀的 |
| [20:14] | – I don’t think he liked us going around him. – Tough shit. | 他生气估计是因为我们绕过了他 |
| [20:17] | That’s what you do when a big dead moose is lying | 不然呢? 假设路中央躺着一只死驼鹿 |
| [20:18] | in the middle of the road. You roll the fuck over him, | 你怎么办? 你只好碾过去 |
| [20:20] | hack him up and make a stew. | 剁了它 把它炖了 |
| [20:21] | – I’m gonna be on the show! – You are gonna be on the show. | 我要上节目了 你要上节目了 |
| [20:24] | – I’m gonna be on the show. – You’re gonna be on the show! | -我要上节目了 -你要上节目了! |
| [20:27] | Okay, I have to find my mother. | 好了 |
| [20:28] | She is not gonna avoid it this time. | 我得去找我妈妈了 这次她无论如何都不能躲 |
| [20:30] | She’s gonna come to the studio and she’s gonna | 她必须来演播室看我演出 |
| [20:31] | sit there and take it. | |
| [20:32] | ♪ That’s entertainment ♪ | 这就是娱乐 |
| [20:34] | – Dinah, what line can I use? – Line two. | -戴娜 我可以用哪条线? -二号线 |
| [20:36] | – I’m in your office. – Okay. You! | -我进你的办公室了 -好的 |
| [20:38] | Get out that Rolodex you’ve got and call everyone we know | 快 拿出你的名片夹 给我们认识的每个人都打电话 |
| [20:40] | or don’t know and tell them to watch the show tonight. | 叫他们收看今晚的节目 |
| [20:42] | You? You find us that squirrel. | 至于你 去找一只松鼠过来 |
| [20:44] | On it. | 我马上去办 |
| [20:51] | – Stay focused. – Focused. Yes. | -保持专注 -好的 专注 |
| [20:53] | We’re here for 12 uniforms for the supper club. | 我们来这里是为了取12套 给夜店员工用的制服 |
| [20:54] | Only 12. And only the exact uniforms we agreed on last week. | 只要12套 必须是我们上周谈好的那种制服 |
| [20:58] | – I brought the picture. – Never say yes immediately. | 我把照片带来了 绝对不要立即把货收下 |
| [21:00] | They will try and lay their crap inventory | 他们肯定会像上次那样 |
| [21:02] | off on us just like last time. | 把垃圾存货给我们 |
| [21:04] | I know. I’m still sorry I fell for it. | 我依然很抱歉 |
| [21:05] | I don’t know what I thought we were gonna do | 当时看见那些箍裙我竟然收下了 |
| [21:06] | with all those hoop skirts. | 也没想想能拿来干什么 |
| [21:07] | My mother’s a born hustler. | 我妈是个天生的骗子 |
| [21:08] | Just don’t leave me alone with her again. | 这次别再让我单独面对她了 |
| [21:09] | I’ve located the uniforms. | 我找到了那些制服 |
| [21:11] | They were hidden in the back, of course. | 就藏在后面 毫不意外 |
| [21:13] | You’d think they’d come up with some new tricks by now. | 还以为到现在 他俩能想出点啥新花招呢 |
| [21:14] | But there’s something else going on here. | 这会儿还有别的情况 |
| [21:16] | There are men cataloguing everything in the place. | 现在有人在盘点厂里的所有东西 |
| [21:19] | What? What for? | 什么?做什么? |
| [21:20] | I don’t know. But I’m gonna find out. | 不知道 但我会找出答案的 |
| [21:22] | Ma? Pop? I’m here. | 妈!爸!我来了 |
| [21:25] | Hold on, Joely. | 等等 小乔 |
| [21:26] | Yeah, we’re coming! | 马上就来 |
| [21:28] | You know, it’s not too late to go to Macy’s. | 现在去梅西百货还不算太晚 |
| [21:32] | – Oh, my God. – Don’t fall for it. | 我的天 不要上当 |
| [21:33] | But they have canes. | 可他们拄着拐杖呢 |
| [21:34] | Anybody can get a cane. | 任何人都能弄到拐杖 |
| [21:36] | Hello, Joel. | 哈喽 乔尔 |
| [21:37] | Just kiss me from there, Joely. I’m fragile. | 给我个飞吻就行了 小乔 我现在很脆弱 |
| [21:40] | – What happened here? – It’s a long story. | 你们这是怎么了? 说来话长 |
| [21:42] | I got time. | 我有的是时间 |
| [21:43] | Okay. Well… | 好吧 |
| [21:45] | Manny’s in Florida visiting his sister. | 曼尼现在在佛州探望他妹妹 |
| [21:47] | So Moishe’s been getting up early every day | 所以最近莫舍每天要起早来开工厂门 |
| [21:49] | – to open the factory. – Anyhow, I’m up, | 有天我起床之后去洗澡 |
| [21:51] | I’m in the shower, I drop the soap. | 肥皂掉了 |
| [21:53] | Bent over to pick it up, and suddenly… | 我就弯腰去捡 突然… |
| [21:55] | – Whoa! – Bam, I’m down. | -砰!我滑了一跤 -天啊! |
| [21:57] | – Pop, Jesus. – I’m down hard. | 摔得很重 |
| [21:59] | – So I call out for Shirley. – Shirley! | 于是我就喊雪莉 雪莉! |
| [22:01] | – I’m in bed, dead asleep. – A corpse. | -我在床上睡着 睡得很沉 -睡成死猪了 |
| [22:02] | Suddenly, I hear Moishe calling out my name. | 突然我听到莫舍在喊我 |
| [22:05] | Now, it’s dark. | 那时天还很黑 |
| [22:06] | It’s cold. I have nothing on. | 又冷 我啥都没穿 |
| [22:08] | – Not a stitch. – Ma, please. | -一丝不挂 -妈 拜托 |
| [22:10] | So I grab the first thing I can find | 于是我随便抓起一件衣服套在身上 |
| [22:11] | – and I ran in. – Moishe! | 然后跑了进去 |
| [22:13] | But when he fell, he splashed water | 莫舍! |
| [22:14] | – all over the bathroom floor. – Ow! | 他摔倒时 把水溅了一地 |
| [22:16] | I’m down like a rock. | 我像块石头一样扑通倒下 |
| [22:17] | And that rock fell right on top of me. | 那块石头正好砸在了我身上 |
| [22:19] | I thought I broke everything. | 我感觉我全身骨头都碎了 |
| [22:20] | My coat was soaking wet. | 外套也湿透了 |
| [22:22] | It was like having a wet yak laying all over you. | 我感觉有一头湿漉漉的牦牛 压在我身上 |
| [22:25] | The cleaning lady wasn’t coming till later | 那天上午清洁女工来得比较晚 |
| [22:26] | – that morning. – We just lay there. | 我们就一直躺在那里 |
| [22:28] | And talked. | 一边聊着天 |
| [22:30] | Just talked about everything. | 啥都聊 |
| [22:33] | What else can you do in a situation like that besides die? | 那种情况下除了等死还能干啥? |
| [22:35] | We haven’t talked like that in years. | 我们已经很多年没那样聊过天了 |
| [22:37] | And for the first time, I really listened. | 这是我第一次真正在倾听她说话 |
| [22:39] | And I listened, too. | 我也是 |
| [22:41] | It was a terrific moment. | 那是个令人难忘的时刻 |
| [22:42] | I love you so much! | 我很爱你! |
| [22:44] | Anyhow, your mother convinced me I was being silly. | 总之 你妈说服了我 我是在犯傻 |
| [22:47] | There’s more to life than this factory. | 这家工厂不是我人生的全部 |
| [22:49] | And since I’m not keeping it going for you… | 再者 由于我不是为了你 才一直开着这家工厂… |
| [22:51] | Moishe’s gonna retire. | 莫舍要退休了 |
| [22:53] | What? Really? | 什么?真的吗? |
| [22:54] | Selling the business. | 我要卖掉生意 |
| [22:55] | – Everything goes. – Just like that? | 全卖掉 就这么卖了? |
| [22:57] | Sometimes it takes falling in the shower | 有时只用在淋浴时跌个跟头 |
| [22:59] | for everything to become very clear. | 就能看清很多事情 |
| [23:01] | Life is precious. | 生命宝贵 |
| [23:03] | And it’s not all about you. | 保重自己不全是为了自己 |
| [23:04] | You have to think about the other people in your life. | 你还得为你人生中的其他人着想 |
| [23:07] | What about the workers? | 那工人怎么办? |
| [23:08] | Fuck ’em. | 管他们呢 |
| [23:10] | Anyhow, the headline is I’m retiring. | 总之我要退休了 |
| [23:12] | As soon as we can walk again, | 等我们又能走路了 |
| [23:13] | we are selling the house and getting a condo in Boca. | 我们就会卖掉现在的房子 在佛州博卡买套公寓 |
| [23:16] | Well, I’m stunned. | 我惊呆了 |
| [23:18] | But happy? | 那你开心吗? |
| [23:19] | – If you’re happy, I’m happy. – Mr. Maisel! | 你们开心我就开心 |
| [23:21] | Excuse me, Mr. Maisel, there’s a phone call for you. | 梅赛尔先生!打扰一下 有你的电话 |
| [23:24] | Me? | 我?好的 |
| [23:25] | Okay. I’ll be right back. | 我去去就来 |
| [23:27] | Okay, Arch, Arch, come here. Come here. | 等等 阿奇!过来 |
| [23:30] | Let’s talk about those uniforms. | 我们谈谈那些制服的事 |
| [23:32] | Now, I know… | 我知道… |
| [23:34] | Hello? | -喂? |
| [23:35] | Hey. Sorry to bug you. | -嘿!抱歉打扰你了 |
| [23:37] | No. Please, distract me. | 没有 求你了 让我分心吧 |
| [23:39] | I’m gonna be on The Gordon Ford Show tonight. | 今晚我要上《戈登福特秀》了 |
| [23:41] | What? | 什么?米琪 这太不可思议了! |
| [23:42] | Midge, this is incredible. | 什么?米琪 这太不可思议了! |
| [23:44] | I know. | 我知道 我都不敢相信 |
| [23:45] | Can’t believe it. | 我知道 我都不敢相信 |
| [23:47] | I’m almost afraid to keep saying it out loud. | 我都担心一直大声说这消息 |
| [23:48] | It might go away. | 这机会就会消失 |
| [23:49] | No. No, it won’t go away. | 不会消失的 |
| [23:51] | This is big. | 这可是重大消息 |
| [23:52] | It’s the break I’ve been waiting for. | 这是我一直在等待的突破机会 |
| [23:54] | Are you ready? | 你准备好了吗? |
| [23:56] | I’d better be, right? | 不准备好怎么行 对吧? |
| [23:58] | Listen, if you need to talk about me, | 你如果需要用我或者咱俩的事 |
| [24:00] | us, whatever, go ahead. | 当素材 尽管用 |
| [24:02] | – I don’t mind. – Oh. | 我不介意 |
| [24:04] | – Joel… – I mean it. | -乔尔 我… -我是说真的 |
| [24:06] | I’d love to be able to still live in New York tomorrow, | 我当然希望能够继续住在纽约 |
| [24:08] | but if not, so be it. | 但如果不能 也没关系 |
| [24:10] | Have I ever told you that you are amazing? | 我有没有跟你说过你很不错? |
| [24:12] | You have. | 说过 |
| [24:13] | A lot. | 说过很多次 |
| [24:14] | More than I deserve. | 超过了我应得的 |
| [24:16] | Hey. | 喂 |
| [24:18] | You want to come down to the studio? | 你想来演播室吗? |
| [24:19] | Watch me trash you on national television? | 看我在国家电视台上吐槽你? |
| [24:22] | – Really? – Yeah. | 我真能去? |
| [24:24] | I’d like you there. | 是的 我希望你来 |
| [24:25] | Wouldn’t miss it for the world. | 我绝不会错过的 |
| [24:26] | 8:30. | 8点半 |
| [24:28] | I’ll leave the tickets under “The one that got away.” | 我会把门票 放在“错过的那个人”下面 |
| [24:30] | You break a leg. | 预祝你演出成功 |
| [24:32] | Bye, Joel. | 再见 乔尔 |
| [24:42] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [24:43] | I’m heading to the studio. | 我要去演播室了 |
| [24:45] | Hold on. I’m going with you. | 等等 我和你一起去 |
| [24:47] | Can you hold, please? Midge. Elbow. | 请先别挂 米琪 手肘 |
| [24:48] | What? Shit. | -什么?屎 |
| [24:50] | – Shit. – What is it? | -是什么? |
| [24:51] | Shit. It’s shit. | 是屎 |
| [24:53] | – Pigeon shit. – What? | 鸽子屎 |
| [24:54] | Fuck. Did you lean on the sill? | 我去 你是不是靠在窗台上了? |
| [24:56] | You never lean on the sill, Miriam. | 永远不要靠在窗台上 |
| [24:58] | The sill belongs to the pigeons. | 窗台是鸽子的地盘 |
| [24:59] | I have to change again. | -我又得换衣服了 |
| [25:00] | Into what? One of my suits? | -换上什么?换我的西装? |
| [25:02] | Well, I can’t go on like this. | 可我不能穿成这样上节目 |
| [25:04] | Wait, can we stop by Bergdorf’s? | 等等 我们可以去波道夫吗? |
| [25:06] | You are not going shopping. | 你不准去逛街 |
| [25:07] | No one has that kind of time. | 没人有那么多时间 |
| [25:08] | They’d have to postpone the show by a week. | 那样的话节目得推迟一周录制 |
| [25:10] | I have a couple dresses on hold there. | 我有几件裙子存在那儿 |
| [25:11] | One of them could work. | 其中一件可以用 |
| [25:12] | I’ll get them. You get to the studio. | 我去取 你先去演播室 |
| [25:13] | – Really? – Go, go, go! | -真的吗? -快去! |
| [25:15] | Why do you let pigeons shit all over your sill? | 为什么你会让鸽子在你窗台上拉屎? |
| [25:17] | Because they’re pigeons. | 因为它们是鸽子 |
| [25:18] | Their world is small, Miriam. | 鸽子的世界很小 |
| [25:20] | Give them something. | 给它们一点空间是应该的 |
| [25:26] | “The best advice I have for girls | “对于将来想要孩子的女性 |
| [25:27] | who want to have babies someday is | 我能给的最好的建议是 |
| [25:29] | live with your parents so they can raise them.” | “和你父母住在一起 让父母帮你养孩子” |
| [25:31] | – Maybe. – Mm. | 或许行 |
| [25:33] | “My kids aren’t babies anymore, which is sad for a mother. | “我的孩子不再是婴儿了 这让当妈的有些难过 |
| [25:35] | Now I have to hear their opinions on the stupid outfits | “因为他们老是 针对我给他们搭配的…” |
| [25:37] | I…” Too orange. “The stupid outfits I put on them.” | 太橙了 “傻气衣服发表意见” |
| [25:39] | No. | 不行 |
| [25:42] | “My son thinks I’m funny. | “我儿子觉得我很逗 |
| [25:43] | My daughter thinks she’s adopted.” Too dark. | “我女儿认为她是领养的” 太黑了 |
| [25:46] | – The joke? – The liner. | -这段子太黑了? -我是说眼线笔 |
| [25:47] | You sure you wouldn’t like to do it? | 你确定不想要画吗? |
| [25:48] | Please. You’re the professional. | 你请吧 你是专业的 |
| [25:50] | “A lot of people ask me why I go out and perform comedy at night | “很多人问我 为什么我要在晚上出去表演喜剧 |
| [25:53] | when I have two young kids at home.” No. | “晚上我有两个小孩在家里” 不行 |
| [25:55] | “And I tell them, ‘Because they’re bad laughers.'” No. | “我说是因为他们笑得很烂” 不行 |
| [25:57] | Yeah, I’m wondering if I should mention the kids at all. | 我不确定该不该用孩子们当素材 |
| [25:59] | Mm, kids are relatable. Those little fuckers are everywhere. | 提孩子的事容易让观众有共鸣 小混蛋们无处不在 |
| [26:02] | I know, but will people hate a mother making jokes | 我知道 但观众会不会讨厌一个 |
| [26:04] | – about her children? – No. Why? | 拿自己孩子当笑料的母亲? 不会 为什么这么想? |
| [26:06] | Because a mother’s supposed to love her children | 因为母亲理应爱自己的孩子 |
| [26:07] | and be soft and caring and bullshit, | 对孩子温柔体贴啥的… |
| [26:10] | – bullshit, bull… Just let me. – Yep. | -让我来吧… -好 |
| [26:11] | Got ’em. I had them reinforce all the hooks and buttons | 拿来了 我叫人把所有 钩子和纽扣都加固了 |
| [26:14] | so there’s no surprises on national television. | 以免你上了国家电视台后 发生意外情况 |
| [26:16] | Plus, I didn’t know what your stocking situation was, | 另外 我不知道你的存货情况 |
| [26:18] | so I got you a couple extra pairs. | 就给你多拿了两双鞋子过来 |
| [26:19] | Dinah, will you marry me? | 黛娜 你愿意嫁给我吗? |
| [26:21] | I am not marrying a comedian. | 我不会嫁给喜剧演员 |
| [26:22] | Fair enough. How much do I owe you? | -好吧 |
| [26:24] | Nothing. | 我欠你多少钱? -不欠 |
| [26:25] | You are not paying for this. | 我不能叫你付钱 |
| [26:26] | I am not paying for this. | 我没付钱 |
| [26:28] | – I am not paying for this. – No one is paying for this. | 我可不会付钱 没有人需要付钱 |
| [26:30] | I told them you’d be wearing one of these fine dresses | 我跟店里的人说今晚你要穿着 |
| [26:32] | on The Gordon Ford Show tonight, | 其中一件裙子上《戈登福特秀》 |
| [26:33] | so as long as you mention Bergdorf’s, | 所以只要你到时提到了波道夫 |
| [26:34] | it’s all free. | 这些就通通免费 |
| [26:35] | Dinah, are you sure you won’t marry me? | 黛娜 你确定你不想嫁给我吗? |
| [26:37] | Let’s get back to the set order, please. | 继续编排段子顺序吧 |
| [26:39] | Time’s a-tickin’. | 时间紧迫 |
| [26:40] | I think I should pull back on the kid stuff. | 我觉得我应该撤回关于孩子们的段子 |
| [26:43] | Okay, but you know if you do, the minute you open your mouth, | 好吧 但等你一开口 |
| [26:45] | the first thing that comes out will be “I hate kids. | 你说的第一句话就会是 |
| [26:47] | You can all suck my dick.” | “我讨厌孩子 随便你们咋说” |
| [26:48] | I don’t think that’ll be the first thing | 第一句话应该不是这个 |
| [26:49] | – that comes out of my mouth. – Midge! | |
| [26:51] | Success! | 米琪!找到了! |
| [26:52] | Excellent. | 太棒了! |
| [26:54] | He’s on Millie’s line. | 他在米莉的线上 |
| [26:56] | – This one right here. – Here. | 就在这里 |
| [26:58] | – Hi. – My God, you people are hard to find. | -你们这些人真难找 |
| [27:01] | What are you talking about? | -你在说什么? |
| [27:02] | I’ve been looking for you. | 我一直在找你 |
| [27:03] | – I’m at work. – I know that now. | -我在工作 -我现在才知道 |
| [27:05] | Well, then, mystery solved. Goodbye, Miriam. | 那现在谜团解开了 再见 米里亚姆 |
| [27:07] | I-I’ve been trying to get ahold of Mama, | 我一直在联系妈妈 |
| [27:08] | but she’s been on the phone for four hours | 但家里的电话一直占线 |
| [27:10] | and she wasn’t home when I was there earlier. | 早些时候我回了趟家 她也不在 |
| [27:11] | Why were you home earlier? | 早些时候你回家干什么? |
| [27:12] | I went home to change. | 换衣服 |
| [27:13] | – Again? – Yes. | -又换? -是的 |
| [27:14] | For the second time today? | 一天换两次? |
| [27:16] | Yes. Well, third time, | 是的 |
| [27:17] | once Dinah got here with my dress from Bergdorf’s. | 应该是三次 黛娜从波道夫那儿给我拿来了新裙子 |
| [27:19] | I need someone young to listen in on this and explain it to me. | 我需要找个年轻人来旁听 跟我解释 |
| [27:22] | Listen, I have amazing news. | 我有一个好消息告诉你 |
| [27:25] | I am gonna be on The Gordon Ford Show tonight. | 今晚我会上《戈登福特秀》 |
| [27:27] | – Doing what? – Stand-up. | 做什么? 表演单口喜剧 |
| [27:29] | You’re a guest? | 你是嘉宾? |
| [27:31] | – I am a guest. – Well, I’ll be. | 是的 |
| [27:33] | I’ve been trying to get ahold of Mama | 我的… 我一直联系不上妈妈 |
| [27:34] | because I have two tickets for you guys to come down and watch. | 我有两张门票要给你们 |
| [27:37] | We go live tonight at 9:00, | 我们今晚9点直播 |
| [27:38] | so you have to be in your seat at 8:30. | 你们得在8点半之前就座 |
| [27:40] | 8:30. Okay. | 8点半 |
| [27:41] | – We’ll be there. – Great. | 好的 我们会准时到 |
| [27:43] | I have to go. I’m… | 好 我得挂了 |
| [27:44] | sitting here in the bullpen in my underwear… | 我正穿着内衣坐在大办公室里… |
| [27:46] | – I don’t want to hear anymore. – But I… | 别说了 我不想听 |
| [27:47] | Not a word. See you tonight. | -但是我… -别说了 今晚见 |
| [27:49] | Uh, wait! Miriam. | -等等 |
| [27:50] | Yes? | 米里亚姆 -什么事? |
| [27:52] | This is… | 这件事真是太棒了 |
| [27:54] | really wonderful. | |
| [27:58] | Thank you, Papa. | 谢谢你 |
| [28:06] | Oh. Uh… | 爸爸 |
| [28:08] | Monologue doesn’t write itself, boys. | 独白不会自己写出来 |
| [28:12] | Rose! | 伙计们 罗斯! |
| [28:16] | Rose! | 罗斯! |
| [28:17] | Uh, no. Stop right there. | 别过来 |
| [28:18] | I just got everyone placed. | 就站那儿 我才把每个人都安排好 |
| [28:20] | Come on. We have to get going. | 快点!我们得走了 |
| [28:22] | – Where? – I got a call from Miriam. | 去哪儿? 我接到了米里亚姆的电话 |
| [28:25] | She is going to be on The Gordon Ford Show tonight. | 她今晚会上《戈登福特秀》 |
| [28:28] | She’s going to do her act. | 会做表演 |
| [28:30] | Oh. Well, good for her. | 不赖嘛 |
| [28:32] | We have to be there by 8:30. | 我们得在8点半之前到那里 |
| [28:34] | So do whatever you have to do here to leave the house, | 所以赶紧收拾 |
| [28:36] | because we have to go. | 我们得出发了 |
| [28:38] | I’m not going. | 我不去 |
| [28:39] | What do you mean you’re not going? | 什么意思?你不去? |
| [28:42] | Miriam is going to be on television. | 米里亚姆要上电视了 |
| [28:45] | If she wanted me to be there, she would’ve called me | 她如果真想让我去 |
| [28:47] | and asked me herself. | 就会亲自给我打电话 |
| [28:48] | She called you and asked you. | 她给你打了电话 |
| [28:49] | You go and tell me how she was. | 那你去吧 回来告诉我她表演得怎么样就行了 |
| [28:51] | She said she’s been calling you | 她说她一直在给你打电话 |
| [28:53] | and the line has been busy for four hours. | 电话占线了四个小时 |
| [28:55] | And you believe that? | 你真的信? |
| [28:56] | Why would she lie? | 她干吗要撒谎? |
| [28:58] | Because she’s a compulsive liar, | 因为她是一个说谎惯犯 |
| [28:59] | just like her children. | 就像她的孩子一样 |
| [29:00] | – I don’t think that’s true. – How long | 她不是这样的人 |
| [29:02] | did she lie to us about doing stand-up comedy? | 表演单口喜剧这事她骗了我们多久? |
| [29:04] | Hmm? And about Susie being a plumber? | 她骗我们说苏西是水管工骗了多久? |
| [29:07] | When she called us during Ethan’s fake birthday party, | 她在伊森的假生日派对上 给我们打电话那次 |
| [29:10] | she said she was in Prague, when she was really back in New York. | 她说她在布拉格 实际她已经回到了纽约 |
| [29:12] | And I was most certainly not on the phone for four hours. | 至于我有没有连着打四小时的电话 我再清楚不过了 |
| [29:15] | I’m not a 14-year-old bobby-soxer | 我又不是一个计划 |
| [29:17] | planning to elope with Elvis. | 跟猫王私奔的14岁小女孩 |
| [29:18] | Maybe there’s something wrong with the phone. | 可能电话出了问题 |
| [29:20] | There is nothing wrong with the phone. | 电话没问题 |
| [29:22] | I have been home all day with the phone. | 我一整天都在家 跟电话待在一起 |
| [29:24] | I would know if there was something wrong. | 如果电话出了问题 我会知道的 |
| [29:25] | Maybe the phone was off the hook. | 也许是听筒没有放回原位 |
| [29:27] | The phone’s absolutely not off the… | 听筒绝对在… |
| [29:32] | Well, that still doesn’t prove anyone was trying to call. | 这依然不能证明有人打来过电话 |
| [29:35] | – Hello? – Rose. Thank God. | 喂 |
| [29:37] | I’ve been trying to get you for the past four hours. | 罗斯!我已经给你打四小时的电话了 |
| [29:39] | Midge is gonna be on The Gordon Ford Show tonight | 米琪今晚会上《戈登福特秀》 |
| [29:41] | – and she has tickets for you. – Oh. | 她有门票要给你 |
| [29:42] | Well, thank you for calling me, Joel. | 谢谢你打给我 乔尔 |
| [29:44] | You have to be there at 8:30. The show starts at 9:00. | 必须在8点半之前到 节目9点开始 |
| [29:46] | All right, Joel. | 行 乔尔 |
| [29:47] | – 8:30. – Thank you, Joel. | – 8点半 -谢谢你 乔尔 |
| [29:49] | I’m supposed to hear you say you’ll be there. | 你不是应该说你会去吗? |
| [29:52] | – Hello. – Rose. Finally. | 喂? |
| [29:54] | I’ve been trying you for hours. | 罗斯!终于打通了! 我已经给你打几个小时的电话了 |
| [29:55] | Listen, Miriam wanted me to call to make sure you knew | 听着 米里亚姆要我给你打电话 |
| [29:58] | she’s performing on The Gordon Ford Show tonight. | 务必让你知道 她今晚要上《戈登福特秀》演出 |
| [30:00] | – I know, Shirley. – They say to be here by 8:30, | 我知道… 他们说要在8点半之前到 |
| [30:03] | but I would say 8:15 to be safe. | 我看还是8点15之前到吧 稳妥点 |
| [30:05] | They give out a lot of the free stuff at 8:15. | 他们在8点15会发很多免费的东西 |
| [30:07] | Frisbees, potholders, | 飞盘、防烫垫、印有小矮妖的酒杯… |
| [30:09] | wineglasses with leprechauns on them. | |
| [30:11] | Goodbye, Shirley. | 再见 |
| [30:12] | Hello. | 雪莉 喂? |
| [30:14] | Hello, Mrs. Weissman? | 喂 韦斯曼太太 |
| [30:16] | My goodness, you like to talk a lot on the phone. | 我的天啊 你还真喜欢煲电话粥 |
| [30:18] | – I wasn’t on the pho… – I don’t have time. | 我没有煲… |
| [30:19] | Miss Miriam is trying to get in touch with you. | 米里亚姆小姐一直联系不上你 |
| [30:21] | She’s going to be funny tonight on The Gordon Ford Show. | 她今晚在《戈登福特秀》上会很逗的 |
| [30:24] | – She has tickets for you to come. – Why are you whispering? | -她有门票要给你 -你为什么要低声说话? |
| [30:26] | Janusz does not want me talking to you people anymore. | 亚努西不想让我再跟你们说话了 |
| [30:28] | He says you are vampires sucking the lifeblood out of us. | 他说你们是吸血鬼 会吸掉我们的生命之血 |
| [30:31] | Zelda, who are you talking to? | 泽尔达 你在跟谁说话? |
| [30:32] | This never happened. Bye. | 才没这回事 再见 |
| [30:35] | Okay, so… | 好吧 |
| [30:38] | This is Rose Weissman. | 那… 我是罗斯韦斯曼 |
| [30:39] | – Shh! I got her. – Oh, it’s been hours. – Oh, good. | -联系上了 -终于打通了 都好几个小时了! |
| [30:42] | Midge wanted us to call you and tell you that… | -米琪想让我们告诉你… -她要上节目了 |
| [30:43] | – She’s going to be on the show. – Yes. And be there by… | 是的 并且要在… |
| [30:45] | 8:15 if you want to get the Frisbees. | 8点15之前到 如果想要飞盘的话 |
| [30:46] | I know. I heard. Thank you. | 我知道 我听说了 谢谢 |
| [30:50] | – How long do we have? – One hour. | -还剩多少时间? -一小时 |
| [30:51] | Let’s go. | 快走吧! |
| [30:53] | I don’t understand why you didn’t have | 我不懂为什么你没叫安东尼奥 |
| [30:55] | Antonio hail us a cab. | 给我们叫辆出租车 |
| [30:56] | There were no cabs to hail, Rose. | 叫不到出租车 罗斯 |
| [30:58] | Of course not. You didn’t let him blow the whistle. | 当然啊 谁叫你不准他吹哨子 |
| [31:00] | – What? – The cab whistle. | -什么? -出租车哨子 |
| [31:02] | When he blows the whistle, the cabs appear. | 每次他吹哨子出租车就会出现 |
| [31:04] | They have to already be there to hear the whistle. | 出租车必须已经在那儿了 才能听到哨声 |
| [31:06] | The whistle is not magic. | 吹哨子又不是魔术 |
| [31:08] | Antonio is not a wizard. | 安东尼奥不是巫师 |
| [31:10] | This is not Narnia. | 这儿不是纳尼亚! |
| [31:11] | – Oh, dear. – Well, now we know | 天啊 |
| [31:13] | why there were no cabs in front of the building. | 这下我们知道为什么 公寓楼前面没出租车了 |
| [31:15] | They are all here. | 出租车都来这儿了 |
| [31:17] | Find a light. | 去找辆指示灯亮着的 |
| [31:19] | I don’t see a light. Do you have a whistle? | 没看见哪辆车亮着灯 |
| [31:21] | Hello? Cab person? | 你有哨子吗? 你好 |
| [31:24] | – Yoo-hoo? – Excuse me? | 计程车人 |
| [31:26] | – 30 Rockefeller Center. – No fares. | 喂! 请问去不去洛克菲勒中心30号? |
| [31:27] | – Why not? – Shift change. | -暂不接客 -为什么? |
| [31:29] | – What did he say? – He’s not taking fares. | -换班 -他说什么? 他现在不接客 |
| [31:31] | Because you didn’t use the whistle. | 因为你没用哨子 |
| [31:33] | I’d try the subway, pal! | 去坐地铁吧 伙计! |
| [31:37] | – Excuse me? Are you available? – No, shift change. | -请问能载我们吗? -不行 在换班 |
| [31:39] | Excuse me, we need a cab. | 你好 |
| [31:40] | Hey, that was my foot you almost ran over. | 我们需要坐出租车 喂!你差点压到我的脚了 |
| [31:42] | – Excuse me, are you available? – No. | -请问能载我们吗? -不行 |
| [31:44] | – Excuse me? – Taxi! | 你好! 出租车! |
| [31:46] | – Excuse me, we need a cab. – Shift change, lady. | 你好 我们需要坐出租车 在换班 女士 |
| [31:49] | I don’t understand why you’d all change shifts at the same time. | 我不懂为什么你们要同时换班 |
| [31:51] | How are we supposed to get around somewhere? | 这样大家怎么出行? |
| [31:53] | Hello there, are you available? | 能载我们吗? 我们要去洛克菲勒中心30号 |
| [31:55] | – We’re going to 30 Rockefeller Center. – I wish you luck. | -祝你好运 -你好!我们需要坐出租车 |
| [31:57] | Excuse me, we need a cab. We do not have a whistle! | -我们没有口哨 -抱歉 |
| [31:59] | – Sorry, lady. – Excuse me, | 女士 你好 |
| [32:02] | we need a cab. I know there’s a shift change going on… | 我们需要坐出租车 我知道你们在换班… |
| [32:04] | Excuse me! | -你好… -不行 |
| [32:06] | My daughter’s going to be on television… | 我女儿要上电视了 |
| [32:08] | I will pay you ten dollars | -你不换班我给你10美金! |
| [32:11] | – to not change shifts. – Nope. | -不行 |
| [32:13] | She called me and the phone was off the hook, | 她给我打了电话 |
| [32:14] | which I had no idea was happening, | 但是听筒没放回原位 我又不知道 |
| [32:16] | but my grandchildren can reach it now, it’s… | 但是电话现在能打通了 |
| [32:18] | I have ten dollars if you don’t change shifts. | 如果你不换班 我给你10美金! |
| [32:20] | Nope, sorry. | 不行 抱歉 |
| [32:21] | We’ve had a very strained relationship since her husband | …她丈夫离开她之后 |
| [32:23] | left her and she became a comedian, which I was hoping… | 她成了一名喜剧演员 原本我希望这只是一个阶段 |
| [32:26] | Twenty dollars to give us a ride! | 但显然… 如果你肯载我们 |
| [32:28] | Plus whatever the ride costs. | 我就付你20美金 外加载我们的一切费用 |
| [32:30] | And if someone in your family needs tutoring | 另外 如果你家里有人需要 |
| [32:33] | in advanced algebra or differential equations, | 高级代数或微分方程方面的辅导 |
| [32:36] | or a favorable theatrical review | 或者需要《乡村之声》给出戏剧好评 |
| [32:38] | in The Village Voice, I can make that happen as well. | 我也可以帮忙! |
| [32:41] | What is wrong with the taxi industry? | 出租车这行是怎么回事? |
| [32:43] | I offered this man money and services. | 我说给这人加钱 还附送服务… |
| [32:45] | I offered that one my wedding ring, nothing. | 我跟那人说 可以把我的婚戒给他 结果不行 |
| [32:47] | And still he… wait, what? | 他依然…等等 什么? |
| [32:48] | He looked at me like I was insane. | 他看着我就跟看着疯子似的 |
| [32:50] | How could you offer him your wedding ring? | 你怎么能拿婚戒作为条件? |
| [32:51] | That belonged to my great-grandmother. | 那是我曾祖母的! |
| [32:53] | Abe, don’t try to change the subject. | 别转移话题 |
| [32:55] | What? That was an heirloom. It was priceless. | 那是件传家宝 |
| [32:56] | She wouldn’t even wear it. | 无价的 她都不舍得戴 |
| [32:58] | She sewed it into her wig, so no one would steal it. | 她把它缝进了她的假发里 以免有人偷 |
| [33:00] | A bus! I see a bus. | 公交车!我看到了辆公交车! |
| [33:02] | I wish we had that whistle. | 真希望我们现在有哨子! |
| [33:04] | – Ooh, please stop the bus! – Wait! | -等等! |
| [33:06] | – Wait! – Stop it now! Stop! | -麻烦拦住公交车! |
| [33:08] | – Do not move! – Excuse me? | 拦住!别开走! 请等等! |
| [33:10] | – Excuse me, Mr. Bus Driver! – Excuse me! | 你好 公交车司机先生! 我女儿要上电视了! 好了 |
| [33:12] | My daughter’s going to be on television! | 伙计们!请准备好领取 《戈登福特秀》飞盘赠品! 你的幸运数字是 46、24、11、6和5 |
| [33:29] | There you go, your set order. | 给 段子顺序 |
| [33:31] | Nice and clear. Can you read that? | 清晰明了 能看懂吗? |
| [33:32] | – I can. – I’ll pass it on. | -能 -我会帮你传话 |
| [33:34] | Susie, I can move your dinner with Shel to tomorrow. Do it? | 苏西 我把你和谢尔的聚餐 改到了明天 行吗? |
| [33:36] | Why am I having dinner with Shel? | -我干吗要和谢尔聚餐? |
| [33:37] | Because you said you wanted dinner with Shel. | -是你自己说的 |
| [33:39] | I hate Shel. Cancel the dinner with Shel. | 我讨厌谢尔 把聚餐取消 |
| [33:41] | I firmly believe that’s the best order for your set, so… | 我坚信这是最佳的段子表演顺序 |
| [33:43] | See, you’re fucking with the best order | 你居然在我一边说着的时候 |
| [33:45] | just as I’m saying it’s the best order. | 改动我编好的顺序! |
| [33:46] | That’s a better order. Wait! | 这个顺序是更好 等等! |
| [33:48] | Shel took over the condo circuit. | 我需要和谢尔聚餐 |
| [33:49] | I need to have dinner with Shel. | |
| [33:51] | Cancel cancelling my dinner with Shel. | -把刚才的取消取消 |
| [33:52] | Alan Shepard. | -她会和谢尔聚餐! |
| [33:54] | An American hero. | 艾伦谢帕德!我们的国家英雄 |
| [33:56] | – Thrilled to have you here. – Thrilled to be here, Gordon. | 很高兴你能来上我们节目 我很高兴来这里 |
| [33:58] | – I see you got our basket. – I did. It’s big. | -你拿到了我们的礼物篮 -是的 篮子很大 |
| [34:00] | Well, we wanted you to have a basket | 因为我们希望你在太空时能看到它 |
| [34:01] | that you could see from space. | |
| [34:03] | Apologies in advance if there are any jokes | 我先提前道个歉 如果你在节目中突然听到 |
| [34:05] | about little green men or if the term “thrusters up” | 什么关于小绿人的笑话 |
| [34:07] | gets shouted out at any point during the show tonight. | 或者听到有人大喊“推进器启动” 请你多包涵 |
| [34:09] | Sign a picture for my wife, and all will be forgiven. | 只要你帮我妻子在照片上签个名 我就通通原谅 |
| [34:11] | Deal. See you out there. | 成 外面见 |
| [34:14] | – Maisel. – Gordon. Hello. | -梅赛尔 -戈登 哈喽 |
| [34:16] | I am really excited about tonight. | 我非常期待今晚的演出 |
| [34:18] | What are you wearing? | 你这是穿的啥? |
| [34:20] | What? Uh, a dress? | 什么?裙子啊 |
| [34:22] | Is this a trick question? | 你是在给我设陷阱吗? |
| [34:24] | Just seems a little fancy. | 有点花哨 |
| [34:26] | Well, I don’t know. I’m gonna do my act | 咋说呢?我即将 |
| [34:28] | on The Gordon Ford Show. That seemed to call for fancy. | 上《戈登福特秀》表演我的段子 所以衣服需要花哨一点 |
| [34:30] | – Your act? – Yes. | -你的段子? -是的 |
| [34:32] | You’re not doing your act. | 你不会表演你的段子的 |
| [34:33] | Well, whose act am I doing? | 那我表演谁的段子? |
| [34:35] | It’d better not be Buddy Hackett’s. | 最好别是巴迪哈克特的 |
| [34:36] | ‘Cause his team is quick to upset. | 他的团队很容易被惹恼 |
| [34:38] | Let me clear this up for you. You’re not coming on to perform. | 你没搞清状况 叫你上节目不是为了做表演 |
| [34:40] | You’re coming on as a writer. | 而是让你以编剧身份上台 |
| [34:42] | A writer? | 编剧? |
| [34:43] | See if you can borrow a sweater or something to throw over that. | 去看看能不能找谁借件毛衣穿上 |
| [34:47] | Susie. | 苏西 |
| [34:49] | Mr. Ford? Mr. Ford. | 福特先生 |
| [34:51] | Mr. Ford, Susie Myerson. Midge’s manager. | 福特先生 我是米琪的经纪人苏西梅尔森 |
| [34:53] | I know who you are. | 我知道你是谁 |
| [34:55] | Listen, my client was under the impression | 我的艺人以为 |
| [34:57] | she was performing on the show tonight. | 她今晚要在节目中做表演 |
| [34:59] | Really? Who gave her that impression? | 谁给的她这种印象? |
| [35:00] | You. You gave her that impression. | 是你 |
| [35:02] | I said she was gonna be on the show | 我只说了要她上节目 |
| [35:03] | and she is gonna be on the show. | 她现在是要上节目了啊 |
| [35:05] | – But not as a comic? – No. | -可不是以喜剧演员身份 -不是 |
| [35:06] | – But she’s a comic. – Not here. | 可她是个喜剧演员 在这里不是 |
| [35:08] | Here, she’s a writer, so she’s gonna come on as a writer. | 在这里她是编剧 所以得以编剧身份上节目 |
| [35:11] | What does that mean? | 什么意思?是要让她得痔疮? |
| [35:12] | She’s gonna come out and get hemorrhoids? | |
| [35:13] | It means I will introduce her as one of my writers | 意思是我会介绍她是我的编剧之一 |
| [35:15] | and ask her a couple of questions. | 问她几个问题让她回答 |
| [35:17] | She will answer them and that’s it. | 仅此而已 |
| [35:18] | – Why? – Why what? | -为什么? -什么为什么? |
| [35:20] | Why are you bringing her on as a writer? | 为什么要让她以编剧身份上台? |
| [35:21] | Who gives a shit about that? | 谁稀罕? |
| [35:23] | It’s a human interest piece. | 这样有人情味 |
| [35:24] | Like when a panda bear gives birth in a zoo. | 就像看大熊猫在动物园分娩一样 |
| [35:26] | – Only not quite as cute. – She is not a panda bear. | 只是没那么可爱 她不是大熊猫 |
| [35:28] | Look, she doesn’t need to come on the show at all. | 她完全可以不上台 |
| [35:30] | I can bring on Mel. | 我可以让梅尔上 |
| [35:31] | He actually does look like a panda bear, | 他也确实和大熊猫长得像 |
| [35:32] | so it’ll work even better. | 所以效果会更好 |
| [35:34] | – Gordon… – I’m due on set. | -戈登… -我该上场了 |
| [35:35] | I will see you out there. Or not. | 待会见 不见也行 |
| [35:40] | What the fuck? | 这是搞什么? |
| [35:44] | Mike! Mike! | 迈克! 迈克! |
| [35:47] | Mike! Mike! | 迈克! 迈克! 迈克! |
| [35:54] | Mike! Mike! | 迈克! 迈克! |
| [35:59] | Mike! Mike! | 迈克! 迈克! |
| [36:02] | Mike! Mike! | 迈克! 迈克! |
| [36:06] | Oh, my God! What?! What, Susie? | -迈克! -苍天啊!什么事 苏西? |
| [36:08] | What the ever-loving what?! | 到底什么事? |
| [36:09] | He said she was performing on the show. | 他本来说要让她在节目上做表演 |
| [36:10] | – And now she’s not. – She’s not? | 现在改了 |
| [36:12] | – She’s on the board. – Don’t you produce this shit? | 改了?排表上有她啊 你不是制作人吗? |
| [36:14] | – Why don’t you know anything? – Why is she here if she’s not on the show? | 怎么你啥都不知道? 如果她不上节目 排表上怎么会有她? |
| [36:17] | Oh, she’s going on the show. She’s going on as a panda bear. | 她是会上节目 不过是以大熊猫的身份上 |
| [36:20] | I’m sorry, what? Like, in a costume? | 什么?类似扮装那种? |
| [36:22] | A metaphorical panda bear, Mike. | -隐喻意义上的大熊猫 |
| [36:24] | I don’t know what that is. | -我不知道那是啥 |
| [36:25] | It’s bullshit. That’s what it is. | 就是糊弄 他糊弄我们! |
| [36:27] | Look, the big decisions are always Gordon’s. | 重大的事情都由戈登决定 |
| [36:28] | He says he wants to interview her as a writer. | 他说他要采访她 |
| [36:31] | What does that mean? | 让她作为编剧接受采访 |
| [36:32] | She’s gonna come out and get hemorrhoids? | 什么意思?是要让她得痔疮? |
| [36:33] | – That’s what I said! – Wow. | 我也这么说啊! |
| [36:35] | That sounds like unadulterated shit. | 他是在胡搞 |
| [36:37] | Fix this, Mike. | 解决这个问题 迈克 |
| [36:39] | – I will see what I can do. – Fix this now! | 我看看我能做什么吧 马上解决! |
| [36:41] | I fucking said I will see what I can do. | 我说了会看看能做什么! |
| [36:43] | One minute, ladies and gentlemen. | 还剩一分钟 女士们先生们 |
| [36:49] | – What’s that? – Last-minute pitch for the opening line. | -这是什么? -开场白的最终提案 |
| [36:52] | Better. Give it to Teddy. | 这个更好 交给泰迪 |
| [36:54] | There seems to be some confusion about Midge’s spot. | 米琪的位置好像弄错了 |
| [36:57] | Oh, don’t get in the middle of this. | 这事你别插手 |
| [36:59] | I’m in the middle of this, Gordon. I’m your producer. | 我本来就参与其中!我是你的制作人 |
| [37:01] | I changed it to a human interest piece, quick interview. | 我把表演改成了一个有人情味的环节 对她做简短采访 |
| [37:03] | Okay, but… | 好的 但是我… |
| [37:05] | – Show’s starting, Mike. – For those of you still filing in… | 节目要开始了 迈克 |
| [37:07] | That podium won’t man itself. | 台上得有人去主持 |
| [37:09] | …we are less than one minute to air! | …离开播不到一分钟 |
| [37:11] | You’re in for a great show tonight. | 今晚你们将看到一期精彩节目 |
| [37:13] | Now we’re about to get going, so keep that energy up. | 节目即将开始 请保持你们的热情 |
| [37:16] | This show’s a live broadcast, | 节目是直播… |
| [37:18] | – so that means anything can happen… – Rose! Abe! | 罗斯!安比!来这儿! |
| [37:20] | Abe, over here, over here! | |
| [37:22] | Oh, Shirley. | 雪莉!莫舍在哪里? |
| [37:23] | Where’s Moishe? | |
| [37:25] | Oh, he’s on painkillers. He thought he was Eva Perón, | 他在吃止痛药 他以为他是伊娃庇隆 |
| [37:27] | so I left him at home. | 所以我让他一个人待在家里了 |
| [37:29] | – Here, Frisbees for you. – Just a few things to bear in mind… | 给 我帮你们领了这些飞盘 |
| [37:31] | – Rose, Abe! – …no eating and drinking. | 罗斯!安比! |
| [37:33] | – Hi! Hey! – Please no unwrapping candy, | -嗨! -嘿! |
| [37:35] | keep the aisles clear, and if you have to leave, | 请保持过道畅通 |
| [37:37] | please do so quietly. | 如需离场 请悄悄离开 |
| [37:38] | Emergency exit doors are on both sides in the back. | 后面两侧都有紧急出口 |
| [37:41] | Other than that, make a lot of noise | 除此之外 请热烈鼓掌 |
| [37:44] | when it comes to showing Gordon you’re happy to be here. Here we go, lots of applause! | 让戈登知道你们很高兴来这里! |
| [37:51] | And five, four, | 好了 |
| [37:54] | three… | 要开始了! |
| [37:56] | Ladies and gentlemen, | 请热烈鼓掌!五、四、三 |
| [37:58] | it’s The Gordon Ford Show. | 女士们先生们 |
| [38:01] | Tonight’s guests… | 欢迎收看《戈登福特秀》! |
| [38:03] | astronaut Alan Shepard, | 今晚的嘉宾包括宇航员艾伦谢帕德 |
| [38:05] | Broadway sensation Carol Burnett, | 百老汇红人卡罗尔伯内特 |
| [38:09] | plus a special visit with… | 此外 |
| [38:11] | a Gordon Ford writer! | 我们还会对一位 |
| [38:14] | Now here he is, | 《戈登福特秀》编剧做特别采访! |
| [38:16] | Gordon Ford! | 掌声有请戈登福特! |
| [38:18] | – Mr. Shepard? – Okay, ready. | -谢帕德先生? -我准备好了 |
| [38:21] | – Good luck, Miss. – Thank you. | 祝你好运 小姐 |
| [38:23] | Nice to have you back on Earth. | 谢谢 很高兴你回到了地球上 |
| [38:25] | Gordon Ford is a genius! | 戈登福特是个天才! |
| [38:29] | ♪ Someone’s being bashful ♪ | 有人在害羞 |
| [38:33] | ♪ That’s no way to be, not with me ♪ | 不该这样 |
| [38:37] | ♪ Can’t you see? ♪ | 在我面前时不该这样 难道你看不出来 |
| [38:39] | ♪ That I am just as embarrassed as you ♪ | 我和你一样尴尬? |
| [38:43] | ♪ And I can understand your point of view ♪ | 我能理解你的感受 |
| [38:48] | ♪ I’ve always been ♪ ♪ Shy ♪ | 我一直是个害羞的人 |
| [38:53] | ♪ I confess it, I’m shy ♪ | 我承认 我很害羞 |
| [38:56] | ♪ Can’t you guess that this confident air ♪ | 你难道猜不出我的自信 |
| [38:58] | ♪ Is a mask that I wear ’cause I’m shy? ♪ | 是伪装的?以免暴露我害羞 |
| [39:02] | ♪ And you can be sure ♪ | 你可以相信 |
| [39:05] | ♪ Way down deep I’m demure ♪ | 内心深处我很端庄 |
| [39:09] | ♪ Though some people I know might deny it ♪ | 虽然有些人可能不认同 |
| [39:11] | ♪ At bottom I’m quiet and pure… | 可内心深处 我安静纯洁 |
| [39:18] | As much as this night stinks, | 虽然今晚糟透了 |
| [39:20] | I really enjoyed Alan Shepard’s nuts. | 但我真的很喜欢艾伦谢帕德的坚果 |
| [39:23] | Midge? | 米琪?你好 |
| [39:24] | Hello, Midge? Are you Midge? | 米琪 你是米琪吗? |
| [39:26] | That’s Midge. | 那是米琪 |
| [39:28] | Oh. Great. Thanks. | 好的 谢谢 |
| [39:30] | Midge? Hi. I’m Plum. I know. | 米琪 你好 我叫普拉姆 |
| [39:32] | It’s a terrible fruity family name, but there you go. | 我知道这个姓很糟 跟李子同音 |
| [39:34] | Can we help you, Plum? | 有什么事需要帮忙吗 普拉姆? |
| [39:35] | No. I’m here to help you. | 不 我是来帮你们的 |
| [39:37] | I’m your stage manager for the night. | 我是你今晚的舞台监督 |
| [39:39] | What do you mean, “my stage manager”? | 什么意思?我的舞台监督? |
| [39:41] | The real stage manager is busy managing the real show, | 真正的舞台监督正在监督节目 |
| [39:43] | so they assigned me to manage you. | 所以他们派了我来指导你 |
| [39:45] | Wait, don’t you run the lost and found for the ice rink? | 你不是管溜冰场 失物招领处的那人吗? |
| [39:47] | Not today. | 今天不归我管! 我们走吧 |
| [39:49] | Shall we go? | 不是我 先生 |
| [39:51] | – ♪ Not I, sir ♪ – ♪ Then who, sir? ♪ | 那是谁 先生? |
| [39:55] | ♪ Where, sir and when, sir? ♪ | 地点呢 先生 |
| [39:57] | ♪ I couldn’t be tenser ♪ | 时间呢 先生? 我不能安排得过于紧张 |
| [40:00] | ♪ So let’s get this done, man ♪ | 赶紧把事办了吧 男人 |
| [40:02] | ♪ Come on with the fun, man ♪ | 找点乐子 男人 |
| [40:04] | ♪ I am one man ♪ | 一个男人 |
| [40:07] | ♪ The lady is one man ♪ | 女士缺一个男人 |
| [40:09] | ♪ Shy ♪ | 缺 |
| [40:19] | Carol Burnett, ladies and gentlemen. | 这是卡罗尔伯内特 女士们先生们 |
| [40:21] | Just fantastic, Carol. Can’t wait to see what you do next. | 太棒了 |
| [40:23] | And we’ll be right back, ladies and gentlemen, | 卡罗尔 我迫不及待想看你接下来的新戏 |
| [40:25] | after a word from our sponsor. | 现在插播赞助商广告 |
| [40:28] | And we are out. | 之后我们马上回来 现在是广告时间! |
| [40:31] | Wait here. | 在这儿等着 |
| [40:34] | All right, guys, right this way. | 过来这边 |
| [40:39] | You have to sit on a stool? | 你得坐凳子吗?明明有沙发 |
| [40:40] | The couch is right there. | |
| [40:42] | The couch is for the real guests on the real show. | 沙发是为节目上真正的嘉宾准备的 |
| [40:44] | I’m not allowed to have back support. | 我没资格有靠背 |
| [40:46] | Well, the stool is still on camera. | 凳子依然会入镜 |
| [40:48] | You can still make them laugh. | 你依然能逗观众笑 |
| [40:49] | – This does not have to suck completely, so tits… – Nope. | 挽救的余地还是有的 所以你要抬头… |
| [40:51] | – Right. – Girl writer on the stool. | -别 -行 请女编剧坐到凳子上 |
| [40:58] | You are on the left, so Gordon can get back | 你得坐在左边凳子上 |
| [41:00] | to his desk as quickly as possible. | 这样戈登才能尽快回到桌子前 |
| [41:02] | Got it. | 知道了 |
| [41:07] | Fine, thank you. | -好吧 -谢谢 |
| [41:09] | Look at her up there. Look, it’s Miriam. | -她来了! -罗斯 你瞧!是米里亚姆! |
| [41:14] | Over here. | 米琪 |
| [41:16] | Miriam, I found your mother! | 这边! 米里亚姆!我找到你妈妈了! |
| [41:19] | The phone was off the hook! | 是听筒没放回原位! |
| [41:20] | I went home and got her! | 我到家里把她找来了! |
| [41:22] | We took a bus! It was harrowing! | 我们坐公交车来的!太折磨人了! |
| [41:24] | Psst! | 那是他前妻 |
| [41:35] | And we’re back in… | 广告结束倒计时 |
| [41:37] | five, four, three… | 五、四、三 |
| [41:41] | ♪ ♪ And we’re back, ladies and gentlemen. | 欢迎回来 |
| [41:46] | This is The Gordon Ford Show and I am still Gordon Ford. | 这里是《戈登福特秀》 |
| [41:50] | Now as much as I would love | 我仍然是戈登福特 虽然我想把这个节目的功劳 |
| [41:52] | to take credit for everything that happens out here, | 全揽在自己身上 |
| [41:54] | I can’t. There is an army | 但我知道办不到 |
| [41:56] | of men and women toiling away in our offices back there, | 有一大群男男女女在幕后辛勤工作 |
| [41:59] | so that I can come out here and appear witty. | 这样等我上台之后 |
| [42:01] | Well, I thought that maybe you might want | 就能显得我妙语连珠 我想着也许今晚可以让你们 |
| [42:04] | to meet one of them tonight. Would you like that? | 见见其中一位幕后人员 你们想见吗? |
| [42:08] | So help me welcome to The Gordon Ford Show, | 请跟我一起欢迎《戈登福特秀》的 |
| [42:10] | our resident lady writer. | 常驻女编剧 |
| [42:18] | Ladies and gentlemen, meet Midge. | 女士们先生们 认识一下米琪 |
| [42:21] | – Hello, Midge. – Hello. | -哈喽 米琪 -哈喽 |
| [42:24] | Now you’ve been here on the show five months now. | 至今你已经来我们节目有五个月了 |
| [42:26] | So I’ve got to ask the question everyone’s thinking. | 所以我得问你一个人人都想问的问题 |
| [42:28] | In your own words, what do you think of the boss? | 用你自己的话说 你觉得你的老板怎么样? |
| [42:33] | He’s great, Gordon. | 他很棒 戈登 |
| [42:35] | – Handsome? – Very. | -帅吗? -非常帅 |
| [42:37] | – Charming? – Like the prince. | -迷人吗? -像王子一样迷人 |
| [42:38] | Skillful juggler? Good with kids? | 是不是技术熟练的杂耍演员? 擅长跟孩子相处吗? |
| [42:40] | All of the above. | 全都是肯定回答 |
| [42:42] | Midge is one of six writers on my writing staff. | 米琪是我的写作团队中的 六位编剧之一 |
| [42:45] | Now, you may all be wondering what exactly is it | 你们可能好奇 |
| [42:48] | that television writers do? | 电视编剧到底是做什么的? |
| [42:49] | Well, each morning, they gather in the writers room, | 我来解释 每天上午 他们都会聚集在编剧室 |
| [42:51] | they have bagels and coffee, they read the papers, | 吃百吉饼 喝咖啡 看报纸 |
| [42:54] | they pretend to know how to pass a football, | 他们会装作知道怎么传橄榄球 |
| [42:55] | and then just about now… | 然后 大概到了这个时候 |
| [42:57] | they start thinking of tonight’s monologue. | 他们会开始思考当天的独白怎么写 |
| [42:59] | Always prepared, right? | 总是胸有成竹 |
| [43:02] | I can feel your eyes burning a hole through my head. | 我能感觉此刻你的视线 都快把我的脑袋烧出一个洞了 |
| [43:04] | You’re lucky I’m not staring at your balls. | 你得庆幸我烧的不是你的蛋 |
| [43:06] | So, Midge, as our resident lady writer, | 米琪 |
| [43:08] | let me ask you, what’s the difference | 作为我们的常驻女编剧 |
| [43:10] | between a male writer and a female writer? | 我来问你个问题 |
| [43:12] | Oh. Uh… | 男编剧和女编剧有什么区别? |
| [43:15] | While you think of that, let’s meet | 在你思考怎么回答这个问题时 |
| [43:16] | the rest of the writing staff. | 我们来见见其他编剧 |
| [43:17] | Jerry, turn that camera around. | 杰里 把摄像机转过去 |
| [43:19] | Ladies and gentlemen, that’s Ralph Emerson, | 女士们先生们 |
| [43:21] | Cecil Green, Adam Portnoy, | 那是拉尔夫爱默生、瑟叟格林 |
| [43:23] | Mel Rubens, and my head writer | 亚当波特诺伊、梅尔鲁本斯 以及我的首席编剧艾文布兰克 |
| [43:24] | Alvin Blank. The writers of The Gordon Ford Show. | 他们就是《戈登福特秀》的编剧 |
| [43:26] | My band of merry men. | 我的快乐男人团队 |
| [43:28] | Hi! Hi! | 嗨 |
| [43:31] | All right, bring it back around on me. | 把摄像机再转回来 |
| [43:33] | Okay, where were we? | 我们刚说到哪儿了? |
| [43:35] | Oh, yes, the differences | 对了 |
| [43:37] | between male writers and female writers. | 是男编剧和女编剧的区别 |
| [43:39] | Female writers write a lot more jokes about horses, Gordon. | 女编剧会写更多关于马的段子 |
| [43:42] | And poisoning our husbands. | 以及毒害老公的段子 |
| [43:44] | And we like to be held after we pitch. | 女编剧跟上司展示段子后 会期望得到对方的拥抱 |
| [43:47] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [43:49] | And now a word from our sponsor. | 现在插播赞助商广告 |
| [43:50] | – What? | – What? -什么 -什么? |
| [43:52] | – Go to commercial. – What commercial? | -切入广告 -什么广告? |
| [43:54] | Find a commercial. | 去找个广告 |
| [43:59] | ♪ ♪ | 这就算完了? |
| [44:00] | That’s it? | 要把观众的好奇心勾起来 |
| [44:02] | Leave ’em wanting more. | 现在是广告时间 |
| [44:07] | And we are out for commercial, ladies and gentlemen. | 女士们先生们 |
| [44:09] | Stay on the stool. What are you doing? | 待在凳子上别动 |
| [44:11] | – You still have four minutes left on the bit. – The bit was done. | 你在干什么? 这个环节距离结束还剩四分钟 |
| [44:13] | – I threw to commercial. – I know you threw to commercial. | 这个环节已经结束了 我切入广告了 |
| [44:15] | You weren’t supposed to throw to commercial. | 我知道你切入广告了 可你不该这样 |
| [44:16] | – Not for another four minutes. – So I threw early. | 总不能又播四分钟的广告 |
| [44:18] | Four minutes early! | -所以我提前切入了 -提前了四分钟 |
| [44:19] | Look, I’ll just wrap the show after the commercial. | 我会在广告结束后收尾的 |
| [44:21] | You have four minutes after the commercial. | 广告结束后还有四分钟呢 |
| [44:24] | Are you listening? I know I keep saying it. | -你在听我说么?我一直在说 |
| [44:26] | – I’ll vamp. – For four minutes? | -我会临场发挥的 |
| [44:28] | – Who are you, Mae West? – What do you want from me? | 临场发挥四分钟? 你以为你是梅韦斯特? |
| [44:30] | I want four minutes from you. Content! | -你要我怎么办? -给我四分钟的内容 |
| [44:32] | Bring out another writer. Interview the stage manager. | 再叫一位编剧上来 采访舞台监督 |
| [44:34] | Interview Plum. What the hell is Plum doing here? | 采访普拉姆 普拉姆来这里做什么? |
| [44:37] | They never go to commercial this early. | 他们从来没这么早切入广告过 |
| [44:39] | They have three minutes and 56 seconds | 这个环节现在还剩3分56秒 |
| [44:41] | left in this segment. I time it. | 我计了时 |
| [44:48] | What the hell is she doing on a stool? | 她坐在凳子上到底在干什么? |
| [44:50] | – Everything backfired. – What did you do? | 一切都适得其反了 你做了什么? |
| [44:52] | Why is everything automatically my…? Yeah, okay, it was me. | 怎么每次你想都不想就把责任 怪到我的… 好吧 这次是怪我 |
| [44:55] | I had a friend talk Gordon | 我叫我一个朋友去劝戈登 |
| [44:56] | into putting her on the show and since he’s | 让他同意让米琪上节目 |
| [44:58] | a baby driven solely by his ego and paper-thin nutsack, | 谁知他是个巨婴 傲慢自大 蛋囊又如纸薄 |
| [45:01] | he bumped her from a stand-up spot to the stool. | 说好的让她上台做表演 被他改成了坐凳子 |
| [45:03] | And then she gets a laugh from the audience, | 之后她把观众逗笑了 |
| [45:05] | so my guess is he shit his diaper. | 我猜他就不乐意了 哇哇哭 |
| [45:08] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [45:09] | I will do four more minutes of stool work. Happy? | 我再做四分钟的凳子访谈 满意了吧? |
| [45:12] | She’s funny, Gordon. | 她很逗 |
| [45:13] | You’re the one who hired her in the first place. | 戈登 最初雇用她的人是你 |
| [45:15] | Because you thought she was funny. | 因为你觉得她逗 |
| [45:18] | Four more minutes after commercial. | 广告结束后你还有四分钟 |
| [45:20] | – But… – Midge, please. | -但是… -米琪 拜托 |
| [45:22] | Four more minutes, and then we can all go get drunk | 只要再过四分钟 |
| [45:24] | or go to bed or drive a car into a wall. | 大伙就都可以喝酒或者睡觉去了 或者开车去撞墙 |
| [45:26] | – Might do all three, myself. – Fine. | 这三件事搞不好我自己全都会做 好吧 |
| [45:29] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [45:31] | – Archie, I’m here! – Finally! | -阿奇 我来了 -你终于来了 |
| [45:32] | I know. Did I miss it? What did she do? | 我错过她的表演了吗? |
| [45:34] | – She sat on a stool. – Oh, good. | 她只是坐在凳子上而已 还行 |
| [45:36] | She can do that. Hi. We’re married. | 这个没难度 你好 我们是夫妻 |
| [45:43] | – Miriam! Miriam! – Miriam, over here! | -米里亚姆 -米里亚姆 过来 |
| [45:52] | Miriam, I have to say, though not a word | 米里亚姆 我得跟你说句话 |
| [45:54] | of any note has come out of your mouth, | 虽然到现在为止 你还没说出一个精妙的词 |
| [45:56] | it is still very exciting | 但看到你坐在那张凳子上 |
| [45:58] | to see you sitting on that stool. | 我还是非常激动 |
| [46:00] | Thank you, Papa. | 谢谢你 |
| [46:02] | Miriam. | 爸爸 米里亚姆 |
| [46:05] | You know you can get pregnant squatting like that. | 这样蹲着你可能会怀孕的 |
| [46:07] | I told you that one time, | 我只跟你说过一次这话 |
| [46:09] | and you’ve never let me forget it. | 你就老是要跟我提起它 |
| [46:10] | Because it was a doozy. | 因为这个谎话编得很绝 |
| [46:12] | I just want you to know, I’m very touched | 我只想告诉你 我很感动 |
| [46:14] | that you had so many people ask me to come here tonight. | 你叫了那多人叫我今晚来这里 |
| [46:17] | Well, it was supposed to be a big night for me. | 因为今晚本来是我人生的重要一夜嘛 |
| [46:20] | I didn’t want you to miss it. | 所以我不想让你错过 |
| [46:21] | Supposed to be? | 本来? |
| [46:23] | Is. | |
| [46:24] | It is a big night for me. | 不是 |
| [46:26] | Um… | 今晚就是我人生的重要一夜 |
| [46:28] | they want you back in place? | 他们想让你回到原位? |
| [46:29] | Is that a question, Plum? | 你是在问我意见吗 |
| [46:31] | No. | 普拉姆? 不是 |
| [46:35] | I’ll see you later, Mama. | 回头再聊 |
| [46:37] | Midge! | 妈妈 |
| [46:39] | Beret! | 米琪 瞧我的贝雷帽 |
| [46:41] | And we’re back in two minutes, everyone. | 广告两分钟后结束 |
| [46:43] | Please stay in your seats. | 各位 请大家坐回位子上 |
| [47:20] | We can fight about this tomorrow. | 我们可以明天再吵这事 |
| [47:21] | I mean, it’s for four more… | 这可是再加四… |
| [47:23] | Stool, stool, stool. | 坐回凳子上 |
| [47:24] | Mike, can I talk to Susie for a second? | 迈克 我可以和苏西谈一下吗? |
| [47:26] | One second. One literal second. | 只能谈一下 真正的一下 |
| [47:27] | What’s going on? Are you thinking? | 怎么回事?你在想事是吗? |
| [47:29] | ‘Cause it looks like you’re thinking or passing a stone. | 你看起来不是在想事就是在排结石 |
| [47:31] | Susie, I have four more minutes left. | 苏西 我还有四分钟时间 |
| [47:32] | – Four minutes. – Okay. | 四分钟 知道 |
| [47:34] | Four minutes. You hearing me? | 四分钟 你在听我说话吗? |
| [47:37] | – Yes. Four minutes. – Four minutes. | 在听 四分钟 四分钟 |
| [47:39] | – Four minutes. You’ve got four minutes. – Four. | -四分钟 你有四分钟时间 -四分钟 |
| [47:41] | I am gonna punch you in the nose. I don’t care how | 我恨不得往你鼻子上揍一拳 管你在电视上是不是难看 |
| [47:43] | – it will look on TV. – I’m thinking about doing something, | 我在考虑做一件事 苏西 |
| [47:45] | Susie, something reckless that could go | 一件鲁莽的事 |
| [47:47] | very badly for both of us. | 可能对咱俩都有严重后果 |
| [47:49] | Yeah? | -是吗? |
| [47:50] | It could ruin us. | -有可能会毁了我们 |
| [47:52] | Definitely me and you by extension. | 一旦出问题 我肯定是毁了 你也会受波及 |
| [47:55] | Okay. | 知道了 |
| [47:56] | I just… | 我… |
| [47:59] | 60 seconds. | 还剩60秒 |
| [48:06] | What do you think? | 你意下如何? |
| [48:10] | Look, you started your career by getting up on a stage | 当初你自己登上舞台 说了一堆乱七八糟的话 |
| [48:12] | that no one told you to get up on, saying a bunch of shit | 才开始了这份职业 |
| [48:14] | that no one wanted you to say, so… | 那时没人叫你上舞台 没人叫你说那些话 |
| [48:16] | …tits up. | 所以… 抬头挺胸 |
| [48:20] | Tits up. | 抬头挺胸 |
| [48:29] | Buckle up, Mikey. | 系好安全带 小迈 |
| [48:34] | 30 seconds. | 还剩30秒 |
| [48:36] | Everybody back in their seats, please. | 请大家坐回位子上 |
| [48:45] | I want you to know it was not my intention to force your hand. | 我想告诉你 |
| [48:48] | I had hoped you would want to put me on someday. | 我无意强迫你 我曾希望某天你会自愿让我上节目 |
| [48:50] | This isn’t personal, it’s just… | 我并非针对你 这事只是… |
| [48:55] | – It was not handled well. – Mm-hmm. | 没处理好 |
| [48:57] | – And you know the rule. – I do. | -而且那条规矩你不是不知道 -我知道 |
| [48:59] | And we are back | 广告结束倒计时 |
| [49:01] | in five, four, three… | 五、四、三 |
| [49:03] | I’ve just never been great at following rules. | 我只是从来都不擅长守规矩 |
| [49:12] | We are back with our lady writer. | 欢迎继续收看我们对女编剧的采访 |
| [49:15] | So, Midge, something’s been nagging at me | 米琪 |
| [49:17] | ever since you came aboard. | 自从你加入了我们的节目 有件事一直困扰着我 |
| [49:18] | The coffee in the writers’ room is | 编剧室里的咖啡很好喝 |
| [49:20] | so much better than in the break room, why is that? | 比休息室里的好喝多了 为什么? |
| [49:23] | I wouldn’t know, Gordon, because– fun fact– | 这我没法知道 戈登 |
| [49:26] | I am not actually a writer. | 因为 有个有趣的事实 |
| [49:28] | What? | 我其实不是编剧 什么? |
| [49:29] | I’m a comedienne. I’ve only been pretending to be a writer | 我是喜剧演员 |
| [49:32] | so I’d have a bathroom to use in Midtown. | 一直以来我都在假扮编剧 为的只是能在市中心买得起一间浴室 |
| [49:35] | So, why don’t I just get up and do | 所以 |
| [49:37] | what I came here to do, huh? | 要不我就站起来 |
| [49:44] | No, where are you going? | 做我来这里一直想做的事吧 你要去哪里? |
| [49:46] | We’ll find out. | 你会知道的 |
| [49:52] | Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. | 晚上好 |
| [49:54] | What’s happening here is a Jewish hijacking. | 女士们先生们 此刻发生的是犹太人劫持事件 |
| [49:57] | There’s no planes involved, no one wants to go to Cuba. | 但没有用到飞机 也没人想去古巴 |
| [50:01] | My only demand is four minutes of airtime, | 我只要求给我四分钟上电视的时间 |
| [50:03] | and a ride to the doctor when I’m old. | 以及等我老了开车送我去看医生 |
| [50:06] | That’s the nice thing about the Jews. | 犹太人就是有这点好 |
| [50:07] | We only hijack a conversation. | 我们只劫持谈话 |
| [50:11] | So, I am not actually supposed to be up here right now, | 其实此刻我本来不该站在这里 |
| [50:14] | talking to you all. I broke a pretty big rule | 对着你们所有人说话的 |
| [50:17] | when I left that stool. | 当我离开那张凳子时 我违反了一条相当大的规矩 |
| [50:18] | But lately, I’ve been doing | 但是最近我经常做 |
| [50:20] | a lot of things I’m not supposed to. | 很多我不应该做的事 |
| [50:21] | Like becoming a comic. That was a surprise. | 比如当一名喜剧演员 |
| [50:23] | To everyone. Me, especially. | 这让所有人都大吃一惊 特别是我 |
| [50:26] | I was just a wife and a mother | 我原本只是上西区的一个妻子和母亲 |
| [50:28] | on the Upper West Side… | |
| [50:29] | Upper West Side? Really? | 你们也是上西区?真的吗? |
| [50:31] | My parents are in the audience tonight. | 我的父母今晚在观众席上 |
| [50:34] | Compare notes on the parking situation. | 就停车情况交换意见 |
| [50:36] | My father’s got a whole conspiracy theory going on… | 我父亲有一套完整的阴谋论 |
| [50:38] | It’s not a theory. | 这不是理论 |
| [50:40] | There’s a lot of Jews on the Upper West Side | 上西区有很多犹太人 |
| [50:41] | and not nearly enough parking spaces. Connect the dots. | 可是停车位几乎不够 所以你自己想吧 |
| [50:44] | …so I was just a wife and a mother | 我原本只是一个妻子和母亲 |
| [50:46] | and then one day, my husband left me. | 然后有一天我的丈夫离开了我 |
| [50:48] | On Yom Kippur. | 那天是赎罪日 |
| [50:50] | The holy day when Jews fast to atone for their sins? | 是犹太人禁食赎罪的圣日 |
| [50:53] | That’s the day he chose to leave me. | 他选在那天离开我 |
| [50:54] | For his secretary. | 去找他的秘书 |
| [50:57] | I can’t really blame him, though. | 我不能怪他 |
| [50:58] | She had some mints in her purse. | 她的包里有薄荷糖 |
| [51:02] | I’ll admit, it was really terrible for a while. | 我承认 |
| [51:04] | But then the sun set and I could eat again. | 得知这事之后 |
| [51:08] | Suddenly, I was single. | 我消沉了一段时间 不过等太阳落山之后 |
| [51:10] | I wasn’t raised to be single. | 我又可以吃饭了 突然我就成了单身 |
| [51:12] | I didn’t know what to do, so I drank my weight in Manischewitz, | 我不知道该怎么办 我狂喝了一顿马尼舍维茨酒 |
| [51:15] | stumbled onto a stage, grabbed a microphone, | 跌跌撞撞走上舞台 拿起话筒 |
| [51:17] | and in that moment everything changed. | 那一刻 一切都变了 |
| [51:20] | I discovered what it felt like to have people listen to me. | 我发现有人听自己说话真美妙 |
| [51:23] | Well, not men, but other people. | “人”不是指男人 而是其她人 |
| [51:26] | Well, not my mother, but everybody else. | 也不是指我妈 而是其他人 |
| [51:28] | Okay, not my children, my dates, | 也不是指我的孩子、约会对象 |
| [51:31] | employers, coworkers, the new butcher, | 雇主、同事、新来的屠夫 |
| [51:33] | but strangers. Strangers love me. | 而是指陌生人 |
| [51:39] | Yeah. | 陌生人都爱我 是的 |
| [51:43] | How the hell did you get there? | 你从哪儿冒出来的? |
| [51:45] | I’m magic. | 我是魔术师 |
| [51:47] | Actually, I should be grateful | 其实我应该庆幸我老公 |
| [51:49] | that my husband cheated with the person that he did. | 是和他出轨的那个人出的轨 |
| [51:52] | Because she was, as they say | 因为她是… |
| [51:54] | in the American Journal of Medicine, | 用《美国医学杂志》常说的词表示 |
| [51:55] | an idiot. | 一个白痴 |
| [51:57] | And I’m not just saying that because she slept | 我这么说不是因为她跟我老公睡过 |
| [51:59] | with my husband. I’m saying that because I saw her | 而是因为我曾在办公室 |
| [52:01] | ask a plastic plant in the office | 看见过她问一棵塑料植物 |
| [52:03] | if it wanted some water. | 是否想要浇水 |
| [52:05] | And then waited for an answer. | 然后还等着塑料植物答复她 |
| [52:07] | For ten full minutes. | 等了整整十分钟 |
| [52:09] | And then went to the coffeepot | 然后走到咖啡壶旁边 |
| [52:11] | and asked why the plant was mad at her. | 问咖啡壶为啥那棵植物生她的气 |
| [52:12] | So when your husband leaves you for that, | 所以当你的老公为了那样的人 |
| [52:14] | it softens the blow. | 离开你时 打击就会变轻一点 |
| [52:16] | It feels good that after their first cocktail party appearance, | 有件事让我感觉很好 他俩第一次在鸡尾酒会上出现后 |
| [52:19] | people call you saying, “What was he thinking? | 有人打来电话跟我说 “他到底是怎么想的? |
| [52:21] | She apologized to the ashtray | “每次她熄灭香烟 |
| [52:22] | every time she put out a cigarette.” | 都会向烟灰缸道歉” |
| [52:24] | Did you do that? | -是不是你们说的? -是我们说的 |
| [52:26] | – We did. – From the party. | 在酒会上打的电话 |
| [52:28] | I’ve been single for a while now. | 我已经单身一段时间了 |
| [52:29] | Quite a while. | 这段时间还蛮长的 |
| [52:32] | If I ever do remarry, my mother’s going to have | 如果我再婚 我妈妈将有必要再对我做一次 |
| [52:34] | to give me “the talk” again to refresh my memory. | 婚前“指导” 才能唤醒我的记忆 |
| [52:37] | I’m actually not sure if a permanent relationship is even | 其实我都不太确定 和男人建立长久的关系 |
| [52:40] | in the cards for me anymore. | 对现在的我来说是否还有可能 |
| [52:42] | I mean, I work at night. | 毕竟我是在晚上工作 |
| [52:44] | I come home reeking of cigarettes and booze | 回到家时身上散发着烟酒味 |
| [52:46] | with lipstick on my collar… mine. | 衣领上还有口红印 我自己的口红 |
| [52:49] | And the men in my life are no longer boyfriends or lovers. | 并且我生命中的男人 不再是男朋友或情人 |
| [52:52] | They’re bits. Fodder for my act. | 而是段子 |
| [52:55] | If they kiss loud or have nicknames | 是我的表演素材 如果他们接吻很大声或者 |
| [52:58] | for their body parts… like their feet. | 给自己的身体部位起了外号 我是说脚之类的部位 |
| [53:00] | Come on, we sell soap here. | 拜托 我们这儿是卖肥皂的 |
| [53:04] | If we have an argument on a Friday, | 如果我们在周五吵架 |
| [53:05] | Saturday night I’m recreating it for the Shriners, | 周六晚我就会在Shriners 兄弟会面前重演这次吵架 |
| [53:08] | who are always on my side and think I can do better. | 他们总是站在我这边 并且认为我还可以发挥得更好 |
| [53:10] | Plus I come with kids. Two. | 再者 我有孩子 |
| [53:13] | A boy and a girl. | 两个 一个男孩和一个女孩 |
| [53:15] | Their names are on the tip of my tongue. | 他们的名字我只差一点儿 就能记起来了 |
| [53:18] | We’re a Jewish household, so my son was circumcised | 我们是一个犹太家庭 |
| [53:20] | a week after he was born. | 所以我儿子在出生一周后接受了割礼 |
| [53:22] | My daughter’s trauma will have to wait until she’s old enough | 我女儿则得等到 她能陪我妈逛街买衣服时 |
| [53:24] | to go clothes shopping with my mother. | 才会遭受创伤 |
| [53:27] | Well, that’s fair. | 好吧 这么说不算冤枉 |
| [53:29] | I do know that because of my situation, | 我很清楚因为我的情况 |
| [53:31] | my daughter is going to grow up different than I did. | 我女儿长大后会和我不一样 |
| [53:34] | She’s gonna be tougher. | 她会更坚强 |
| [53:36] | More independent. That’s a terrifying word. | 更独立 |
| [53:38] | Independent. | “独立”真是个可怕的词 |
| [53:40] | Especially for women. | 尤其是对女性而言 |
| [53:42] | It was not a word we were supposed to be familiar with. | 这不是我们理应熟悉的词 |
| [53:44] | I wasn’t. My mother wasn’t. | 我理应不熟悉 我妈妈也是 |
| [53:47] | But I’m on my own now. | 但我现在是单身了 |
| [53:49] | So if I want that flat tire changed… | 所以如果我想要换轮胎 |
| [53:51] | well, clearly someone else is gonna do it. | 我当然可以找别人来换啊 |
| [53:53] | I’m independent, not an idiot. | 我是独立女性 又不是白痴女性 |
| [53:55] | I haven’t talked to a plastic plant in months. | 我已经几个月没跟塑料植物聊过天了 |
| [54:00] | My kids, God, I promise their names will come to me. | 我的孩子们 天啊 我一定会想起他俩的名字的 |
| [54:04] | I think it’s inevitable that they will hate me | 我认为他们长大后绝对会讨厌我 |
| [54:06] | when they grow up. | |
| [54:07] | Like every other parent, I spend sleepless nights | 像所有其她当家长的一样 我常在不眠之夜想象 |
| [54:10] | imagining what my kids are gonna say about me | 我的孩子们会对他们的 |
| [54:11] | to their psychiatrists. | 精神科医生说些什么 |
| [54:13] | Right? You’ve done this. | 对吧?你们肯定想象过 |
| [54:15] | “She wasn’t home.” | “她不在家 |
| [54:16] | “She missed my baseball game.” | 她错过了我的棒球比赛 |
| [54:18] | “She made me listen to her tight ten for a week | “她逼我听她的十分钟表演 |
| [54:20] | before she opened in Toledo and then had us heckle her | 连续听了一星期 |
| [54:22] | for three hours so she had some practiced comebacks. | “还逼我们质问了她三小时 好让她有机会反击 |
| [54:25] | And our drinks were watered-down.” | “她还把我们的酒加水冲淡了” |
| [54:30] | That’s why I need to get really famous. | 因此我得出名 特别出名 |
| [54:33] | If you’re really famous, everybody loves you. | 如果你很有名 人人都会爱你 |
| [54:36] | At least until the will is read. | 至少遗嘱被宣读之前是这样 |
| [54:38] | I heard a story about Mary Martin, | 我听过一个关于百老汇明星 玛丽马丁的故事 |
| [54:41] | Broadway star. Her driver got sick, | 某次她的司机生病了 |
| [54:44] | so she had to take a cab to the theater she was performing at. | 她只好搭出租车 去她要做表演的剧院 |
| [54:46] | She gets in, cabbie asks her where she’s going. | 她上车后 出租车司机问她要去哪里 |
| [54:49] | She has no idea. | 她竟然不知道 |
| [54:51] | No idea where the theater is or what it’s called. | 不知道剧院在哪里 也不知道它叫什么 |
| [54:54] | She is too famous to know. | 她太有名了 不知道这些细节 |
| [54:57] | She is so famous that, eventually, | 她有名到有人会注意到她不见了 |
| [54:59] | someone will notice she’s missing and just come find her. | 然后来找她 |
| [55:01] | All she has to do is stand still. | 她只要原地不动就好 |
| [55:04] | That’s the kind of fame I want. | 我也想要这么有名 |
| [55:06] | Where I never have to know who I am or where I’m going. | 永远不必知道我是谁、我要去哪里 |
| [55:09] | Where one day Bob Hope walks up to me at a restaurant | 有名到某天在某家餐厅 鲍勃霍普会向我走来 说 |
| [55:11] | and says, “Hi, I’m Bob Hope. | “我是鲍勃霍普 |
| [55:13] | You probably don’t remember meeting me,” | 你可能不记得见过我了” |
| [55:14] | and I say, “Of course I do. I’ll have the chicken.” | 我说:“当然记得 我想点鸡肉” |
| [55:21] | I want a big life. | 我想要精彩的人生 |
| [55:23] | I want to experience everything. | 我想体验一切 |
| [55:25] | I want to break every single rule there is. | 我想打破每一条规则 |
| [55:30] | They say ambition is an unattractive trait in a woman. | 很多人说 |
| [55:33] | Maybe. | 女人有野心就会缺乏吸引力 |
| [55:34] | But you know what’s really unattractive? | 但你们知道什么才是没有吸引力吗? |
| [55:37] | Waiting around for something to happen. | 坐等好事降临 |
| [55:40] | Staring out a window, thinking the life you should be living | 盯着窗外 |
| [55:42] | is out there somewhere but not being willing | 想着你理应过的 |
| [55:44] | to open the door and go get it. | 美好生活就在咫尺之遥 但不愿意开门去迎接 |
| [55:46] | Even if someone tells you you can’t. | 就算有人叫你开门 你也办不到 |
| [55:48] | Being a coward is only cute in The Wizard of Oz. | 只有在《绿野仙踪》里 做胆小鬼才是可爱的 |
| [55:53] | Ethan and Esther. I knew it would come to me eventually. Oh! | 伊森和艾斯特 |
| [55:57] | Huh. Yeah. | 我就知道我会想起他俩的名字 |
| [56:10] | You have been an amazing audience! | 你们真是特别棒的观众 |
| [56:13] | I want to thank you, | 我要感谢你们 |
| [56:15] | I want to thank Gordon Ford, | 我要感谢戈登福特 |
| [56:17] | and, most importantly, I want to thank Bergdorf Goodman | 最重要的是 我要感谢波道夫古德曼百货 |
| [56:20] | from the bottom of my heart. | 从心底里感谢 |
| [56:22] | Thank you and good night! | 谢谢你们 晚安 |
| [56:30] | I just wish she’d worn a different dress. | 我只遗憾她今天没能穿别的裙子 |
| [56:33] | You did it, Midge, whoo! | 你成功了 米里亚姆! |
| [56:42] | – Holy shit. | – Holy shit. -天哪 -天哪 |
| [56:44] | Well, don’t just stand there! Get over here, Maisel. Let’s go! – Wow. – Look at her. | 别杵在那儿啊 |
| [57:01] | Ah! Sit down. | 快过来 |
| [57:04] | Right now. Whew. | 梅赛尔 |
| [57:10] | Whew. | 赶紧坐下 |
| [57:12] | Where on earth did that come from? | 你怎么会有这么精彩的表演? |
| [57:15] | It was always there, Gordon. You just had to ask. | 我一直都有 是你没问 |
| [57:17] | Oh. Well, that was just terrific. | 刚才的表演太棒了 |
| [57:19] | Really great. And I have to say, I agree with you. | 真的很棒 我不得不说 |
| [57:22] | You are definitely not a writer. | 我同意你的看法 你绝对不是编剧 |
| [57:25] | That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. | 这是我迄今为止 听到的对我最高的夸赞 |
| [57:28] | I have been hoist by my own petard, folks. | 各位 是我作茧自缚了 |
| [57:31] | I knew this lady was funny but I did not know how funny. | 我早就知道这位女士很逗 但我不知道有多逗 |
| [57:34] | I’m just grateful you didn’t turn the cameras off. | 我很感谢你没把摄像机关掉 |
| [57:36] | Oh, we did. You can recreate it, can’t you? | 我把它关了 你可以重演的 对吧? |
| [57:38] | Absolutely. Mm-hmm. | 当然 |
| [57:40] | Folks, I don’t actually think you got a proper introduction | 各位 其实我还没向你们好好介绍过 |
| [57:43] | to this very, very funny lady here. | 这位非常非常逗的女士 |
| [57:46] | And I am gonna remedy that right now. | 我现在要补救 |
| [57:47] | Ladies and gentlemen, making her first | 女士们先生们 |
| [57:49] | but definitely not last | 她是第一次 |
| [57:51] | appearance on The Gordon Ford Show, | 但绝不是最后一次 |
| [57:53] | may I present the magnificent, | 作客《戈登福特秀》 |
| [57:55] | the magical, | 她就是 |
| [57:57] | the marvelous Mrs. Maisel. | 伟大的、神奇的 了不起的梅赛尔太太 |
| [58:06] | There she is. That’s my daughter. | 她是我孙孙们的母亲 |
| [58:09] | – That’s my ex-wife. – That’s my best friend’s ex-wife. | 那是我前妻 |
| [58:11] | That’s my ex-wife! | 那是我前妻 |
| [58:35] | You’re fired. | 你被开除了 |
| [59:01] | ♪ Doop-doo-de-doop ♪ ♪ Doo-de-doop, doo-de-doo-de-doop ♪ | 六个月前 |
| [59:05] | ♪ Doop-doo-de-doop ♪ | 记住 |
| [59:07] | ♪ Doo-de-doop, doo-de-doo-de-doop… Yeah, remember, indecipherable. | 要无法辨认 |
| [59:12] | This makes no sense. | 这没道理 |
| [59:13] | Do you want me to teach you how to be famous or not? | -你想不想让我教你怎么当名人? |
| [59:15] | After you learn, maybe. | -等你先学会再说吧 |
| [59:16] | Okay, this is not the behavior of someone who’s been eating | 你一个整晚都在免费吃虾的人 |
| [59:18] | gratis salt and pepper shrimp all night. | 怎么能这么跟我说话? |
| [59:20] | But if someone asks for your autograph, | 如果有人要你签名 |
| [59:21] | they should be able to read your name. | 你当然得把自己的名字写清楚 |
| [59:23] | No. Wrong. | 不 你错了 |
| [59:24] | If they can read your name, they will feel cheated. | 如果你的签名能被辨认出来 粉丝会觉得上当受骗了 |
| [59:26] | They will know you are real. That you went to school. | 因为他们会知道你上过学 |
| [59:28] | That you can write a check. | 你写得出一张支票 |
| [59:29] | Okay. Here. | 给 |
| [59:31] | What do you think? | 写得怎么样? |
| [59:32] | What’s this? | 这写的什么? |
| [59:33] | My autograph. | 我的签名 |
| [59:34] | I see at least three letters very clearly. | 我能辨认出至少三个字母 |
| [59:36] | Again. | 重写 |
| [59:39] | Who taught you how to be famous? | 是谁教的你怎么当名人? |
| [59:41] | I was born famous. | -我天生就是名人 |
| [59:42] | I see. | -我懂了 |
| [59:43] | I floated down the Nile in a basket | 我一出生就被放进一个篮子里 沿着尼罗河漂流而下 |
| [59:45] | stuffed with greasepaint and a copy of the trades. | 篮子里塞满了化妆油彩和娱乐业杂志 |
| [59:47] | That’s a terrific story. | 这故事真不错 |
| [59:48] | I made it up myself. | 我自己编的 |
| [59:50] | You want to hear the one about the tap dancing locusts? | 你想听踢踏舞蝗虫的故事吗? |
| [59:52] | You want anything else? | 你还想吃什么吗? |
| [59:54] | Is there anything else? | -有还没点的吗? |
| [59:55] | Just the check. | -我要买单 |
| [59:57] | Thank you for the feast. | 谢谢你请我吃饭 |
| [59:59] | You’re welcome. | 不客气 |
| [1:00:00] | It’s been a great night. | 这是一个很棒的夜晚 |
| [1:00:02] | I concur. | 我同意 |
| [1:00:03] | Is it still snowing? | 还在下雪吗? |
| [1:00:05] | Well, if it is… | 如果是的话 |
| [1:00:08] | there won’t be any cabs. | 就打不到出租车了 |
| [1:00:09] | Trains will be spotty. | 火车不好说 |
| [1:00:11] | You might have to seek shelter somewhere nearby | 天放晴之前 |
| [1:00:13] | until it clears up. | 你可能得在附近找个地方住 |
| [1:00:14] | I already sought shelter earlier, | 我早先找好住的地方了 |
| [1:00:16] | and now I have to go to confession in the morning. | 现在我只等到了早上去做忏悔 |
| [1:00:18] | Last booth on the left knows Hebrew. | 左边最后一个小间的人懂希伯来语 |
| [1:00:23] | Well? What about this? | 怎样?这次的呢? |
| [1:00:25] | Oh, nice. | 不错 写得简直像梵文 |
| [1:00:27] | – That’s practically Sanskrit. – Ah! | 不错 写得简直像梵文 |
| [1:00:29] | Okay, now we should work | 接下来我们该学习当有熟人站在 |
| [1:00:30] | on ignoring people who you obviously know | 离你半米远的地方时 |
| [1:00:32] | when they’re standing two feet away from you. | 如何无视他们 |
| [1:00:34] | All the famous people do it. | 所有名人都是这么干的 |
| [1:00:37] | What makes you so sure I’m gonna be really famous? | 为什么你这么肯定我会大红特红? |
| [1:00:39] | Mm, it’s just a hunch. | 一种预感而已 |
| [1:00:42] | I’ve seen your act. | 我看过你的表演 |
| [1:00:44] | I watched you escape a police raid. | 我见识过 你怎么逃脱警方的突击检查 |
| [1:00:46] | So, running and talking. | 就是一边跑一边说话? |
| [1:00:48] | You have many skills. | 你有很多技能 |
| [1:00:50] | Think my show corset turned your head. | 我认为那次 是我的紧身胸衣使你转了头 |
| [1:00:52] | My head turned a long time ago. | 很久之前我就转过头 |
| [1:00:55] | It’s why I keep pulling to the right. | 所以我的身体才老是歪向右边 |
| [1:00:57] | I don’t know. | 是吗? |
| [1:00:59] | I hope you’re right because I don’t have a plan B. | 但愿你是对的 因为我没有后备计划 |
| [1:01:02] | All my eggs are in one big basket. | 我把所有鸡蛋都放在了一个大篮子里 |
| [1:01:04] | Mm, allow me. | 我来吧 |
| [1:01:07] | God, I love a man who steals my food. | 我可真喜欢偷我食物的男人 |
| [1:01:11] | “A spotlight waits for you center stage. | “聚光灯在舞台中央等着你 |
| [1:01:13] | All you have to do is step up and claim it.” | “你只需站上去认领它 |
| [1:01:15] | – Wow. – “Once you do, | “一旦你这样做了 |
| [1:01:17] | everyone will know who you are. | 人人都将了解你是谁 |
| [1:01:19] | They will know your wit, | “他们将了解你的智慧 |
| [1:01:21] | your intellect, your smile. | “你的聪明、你的微笑 |
| [1:01:23] | Your great, expressive eyes.” | “你那双会说话的大眼睛 |
| [1:01:27] | “They will be helpless to your charms.” | “他们将对你的魅力束手无策” |
| [1:01:29] | That must be some very small writing. | 上面的字体肯定很小吧 |
| [1:01:31] | “They will fall at your feet | “他们将臣服于你的脚下 |
| [1:01:33] | and worship at the altar of you and your show corset.” | “在你跟你的紧身胸衣的 祭坛上敬拜” |
| [1:01:36] | Can I see that fortune? | 能让我看看这个签吗? |
| [1:01:37] | Oh, no. If someone sees you can read, | 要是被人看见你会阅读 |
| [1:01:38] | they’ll never let you be famous. | 他们不会让你出名的 |
| [1:01:44] | “Your lucky numbers are 46, | “你的幸运数字是 |
| [1:01:46] | 24, 11, six and five.” | 46、24、11、6和5” |
| [1:01:49] | It’s all how you read it. | 全看你怎么解读 |
| [1:01:54] | You mark my words. | 你记住我的话 |
| [1:01:56] | Very soon, in the not too distant future, | 很快 在不久的将来 |
| [1:01:59] | you will be paying for the Chinese food. | 就会换作你来请我吃中国菜 |
| [1:02:15] | The week of the 24th, | 24号那周你要去奥兰多和棕榈滩 |
| [1:02:16] | you go to Orlando and Palm Beach. Those dates are firm. Then you have | 这些日期已经排定 |
| [1:02:19] | Chicago, Minneapolis and possibly Vegas for two weeks. | 然后你要去芝加哥、明尼阿波利斯 表演两周 期间可能还会去维加斯 |
| [1:02:22] | So far apart. All that travel. | 相距那么远 还要跑来跑去 |
| [1:02:24] | Charo offered her plane. | 查箩说可以用她的飞机 |
| [1:02:26] | Oh, well, that’s fine, then. | 那行 |
| [1:02:27] | What about the Palace? | 那《王宫》呢? |
| [1:02:28] | We are working on the Palace. | 我们正在商议 |
| [1:02:29] | They’re still talking December. | 他们还是在说要12月份 |
| [1:02:31] | I don’t want to be in London for the holidays. | 我不想在伦敦过节 |
| [1:02:32] | – I know that. – I want to be in New York for the holidays. | -我知道 -我想在纽约过节 |
| [1:02:34] | We have relayed the message. | 我们已经跟他们说了 |
| [1:02:36] | I’m never in New York for the holidays, and this year | 我从来没在纽约过过节 |
| [1:02:38] | I want to be in New York for the holidays. | 今年我想在纽约过节 |
| [1:02:39] | I hear you. | 我听见了 |
| [1:02:40] | New York for the holidays. Period. | 你要在纽约过节 |
| [1:02:41] | However, if that’s the only time that works, | 但如果那是唯一能谈妥的时间 |
| [1:02:43] | then December’s fine. | 也只好接受了 |
| [1:02:44] | The building says there’s nothing they can do | 物业说他们对噪音无能为力 |
| [1:02:45] | – about the noise. – They’ve been jumping around for hours down there. | 楼下的人已经跳来跳去好几个小时了 |
| [1:02:48] | It’s like Ruby Keeler moved in. | 不知道的还以为是鲁比基勒搬来了 |
| [1:02:50] | I’ll knock on the door and see what’s up. | 我去敲门问问 |
| [1:02:51] | Tell them Yoko’s complaining. | 跟他们说是小野洋子在抱怨 |
| [1:02:52] | That’ll shut ’em up. Now, | 那样他们才会闭嘴 |
| [1:02:55] | before we break, what am I doing on Tuesday? | 散会之前我想问下 |
| [1:02:56] | Nothing. | 周二我的安排是什么? |
| [1:02:58] | Oh. | 没有安排 |
| [1:02:59] | – Well, are we working on booking something? – No. | 那有没有计划要去哪儿出演? |
| [1:03:01] | But you are working Sunday, Monday and Wednesday, though. | 没有 不过你周日、周一和周三 |
| [1:03:03] | Traveling Thursday. | 都有工作 周四在路上 |
| [1:03:04] | But what about Tuesday? | 那周二呢? |
| [1:03:05] | You can rest on Tuesday. | 周二可以休息 |
| [1:03:09] | Let me make some calls. | 那我打电话问问吧 |
| [1:03:12] | You press here, bring up the menu, | 你按这里 调出菜单 |
| [1:03:14] | scroll over to the envelope icon, click, | 滚动到信封图标 点击 |
| [1:03:16] | – then write your message. – Why don’t I just call them? | 然后就能写信息了 为什么我不直接打电话呢? |
| [1:03:18] | Sometimes you want to text. | 有时你可能更想写信息 |
| [1:03:19] | – When? – When you’re late. | -什么时候? -迟到的时候 |
| [1:03:20] | I can call when I’m late. | 我可以打电话啊 |
| [1:03:21] | It’s just a fun thing your phone can do. | 这只是你的手机能做的 |
| [1:03:22] | – Like take pictures. – My camera takes pictures. | 一件好玩的事 比如还可以拍照 |
| [1:03:24] | What if you don’t have your camera? | -我的摄像机可以拍照 -要是摄像机没带在身上呢? |
| [1:03:25] | I commit it to memory. | 我可以把画面记在心里 |
| [1:03:27] | It also takes videos. | 这东西还能拍视频 |
| [1:03:28] | Does it have the nuclear codes? | 它有核密码吗?我能轰炸某人吗? |
| [1:03:29] | – Can I bomb somebody? – No, you can’t. | |
| [1:03:31] | What about aliens? Can I communicate with aliens? | -不能 -我能和外星人交流吗? |
| [1:03:32] | Not with the phone. Can I just show you how to write a message? | 我能给你演示一下怎么写信息吗? |
| [1:03:34] | – You can certainly try. – So you scroll down to a number and then you click | 你当然可以试试 先向下滚动到一个数字 |
| [1:03:37] | on that number until it goes to the letter you want | 然后点击 直到出现你想要的字母 |
| [1:03:38] | – and then… – Enjoy the phone, Franklin! | 好好玩手机吧 富兰克林 |
| [1:03:42] | ♪ I wanted ♪ | |
| [1:03:44] | ♪ The music ♪ | |
| [1:03:47] | ♪ To play on ♪ | |
| [1:03:50] | ♪ Forever ♪ | |
| [1:03:54] | ♪ Have I stayed too long ♪ | |
| [1:03:57] | ♪ At the fair? ♪ | |
| [1:04:01] | ♪ I wanted ♪ | |
| [1:04:04] | ♪ The clown ♪ | |
| [1:04:07] | ♪ To be constantly clever ♪ | |
| [1:04:11] | ♪ Have I stayed too long ♪ | |
| [1:04:14] | ♪ At the fair? ♪ | |
| [1:04:19] | ♪ I bought me blue ribbons ♪ | |
| [1:04:24] | ♪ To tie up my hair ♪ | |
| [1:04:28] | ♪ But I couldn’t find ♪ | |
| [1:04:32] | ♪ Anybody to care ♪ | |
| [1:04:38] | ♪ The merry-go-round ♪ | |
| [1:04:45] | ♪ Is beginning to slow now ♪ | |
| [1:04:48] | ♪ Have I stayed too long ♪ | |
| [1:04:51] | ♪ At the fair? ♪ | |
| [1:04:56] | ♪ The music ♪ | |
| [1:05:00] | ♪ Has stopped ♪ | |
| [1:05:02] | ♪ And the children must go now ♪ | |
| [1:05:07] | ♪ Have I ♪ | |
| [1:05:13] | ♪ Stayed too long ♪ | |
| [1:05:21] | ♪ At the ♪ | |
| [1:05:25] | ♪ Fair? ♪ | |
| [1:05:43] | Hold on. I got shit everywhere. | 等等 我这儿到处都是屎 |
| [1:05:45] | Literal shit or metaphorical shit? | 字面意义上的屎 还是隐喻意义上的屎? |
| [1:05:47] | Uh, the fucking cleaning lady moved everything around. | 那个可恶的清洁女工把东西全搬动了 |
| [1:05:50] | Can’t find my TV glasses. | 我都找不到我的电视眼镜了 |
| [1:05:52] | Look in the box on the flower table. | 去看看花桌上的那个盒子 |
| [1:05:54] | Don’t pretend that you know everything. | 不要装作一副你什么都知道的样子 |
| [1:05:56] | Box on the flower table. | 花桌上的盒子 |
| [1:05:58] | You don’t know everything! | 你并非什么都知道 |
| [1:06:00] | She didn’t move them. She never moves them. | 她才没移动你的东西 从没移动过 |
| [1:06:02] | – Look in the box on the flower table. – You know, | 去看看花桌上的盒子 |
| [1:06:03] | a whole continent away from you is not enough space. | 和你隔着一个大洲都躲不掉你 |
| [1:06:08] | Did you find them? | 找到眼镜了吗? |
| [1:06:10] | No. | 没有 |
| [1:06:12] | Did your machine tape it okay? | 你的机器能放那带子了吗? |
| [1:06:14] | Yes. I got it fixed. | 能放了 找人修好了 |
| [1:06:15] | Did you check it? | 检查了吗? |
| [1:06:16] | I checked it. It works. | 检查了 能用了 |
| [1:06:18] | Now, remind me, what happened yesterday? | 提醒我一下 |
| [1:06:21] | Oh. Uh, they booted the guy | 昨天发生了什么事? |
| [1:06:24] | who didn’t know which character Danny Bonaduce played | 他们淘汰了那个不知道丹尼波纳杜斯 |
| [1:06:27] | on The Partridge Family. | 在《鹧鸪家庭》里演了啥角色的人 |
| [1:06:28] | Well, I wouldn’t have known that. | 我也不知道啊 |
| [1:06:30] | It’s Danny. Jesus Christ. | 那可是丹尼 天啊 |
| [1:06:33] | All right, you got it? | 你找到带子了吗? |
| [1:06:34] | I got it. You got it? | 找到了 你呢? |
| [1:06:35] | I got it. | 找到了 |
| [1:06:36] | I’m putting it in. | 我正把它放进去 |
| [1:06:38] | I’m putting it in. | 我正把它放进去 |
| [1:06:39] | – Still putting it in. – I’m in. | -还在放 -我的进去了 |
| [1:06:41] | – I’m in! – Now, don’t press before I press. | 我的进去了 别在我还没按的时候就按 |
| [1:06:44] | Every fucking time. | 每次你都不忘说这话 |
| [1:06:46] | Because we have to hear the answers at the same time. | 因为我们得同时听到答案 |
| [1:06:48] | I know! | 我知道 |
| [1:06:49] | And if you get ahead, | 如果你比我先按 |
| [1:06:50] | then you hear the answer before I do. | 就会比我先听到答案 |
| [1:06:52] | I fucking know! | 他大爷的我知道! |
| [1:06:54] | We’ll press it at the same time. | 我们要同时按 |
| [1:06:56] | Jesus. | 苍天 |
| [1:06:58] | Could’ve watched the whole show by now. | 要不是你啰嗦 |
| [1:06:59] | Oh! Susie, did you get my bird? | 这会儿节目都看完了 |
| [1:07:02] | The red one? | 苏西 |
| [1:07:04] | She’s gorgeous. | 你收到我的鸟了吗? |
| [1:07:05] | I’ve never seen anything like her. | 红色那只?她很漂亮 我从没见过她这样的鸟 |
| [1:07:07] | I named her Whore. | 我给她起名叫“妓女” |
| [1:07:09] | I didn’t thank you for that? | 我还没跟你道过谢? |
| [1:07:11] | You’re welcome. You ready? | 不客气 准备好了吗? |
| [1:07:12] | I am ready. | 我准备好了 |
| [1:07:14] | Okay, one, | 好了 |
| [1:07:16] | two, three, | 一、二、三… |
| [1:07:18] | – go. – Go. | -按 -按 |
| [1:07:22] | Such a pleasant tune. | 旋律多悦耳 |
| [1:07:23] | Mm, really pleasant tune. | 旋律真悦耳 |
| [1:07:26] | The Ultimate Tournament of Champions. | 终场冠军锦标赛 |
| [1:07:29] | Will it be a retail specialist | 获胜者会不会是来自肯塔基州 |
| [1:07:31] | from Louisville, Kentucky, Chris Miller, | 路易斯维尔的零售专家克里斯米勒? |
| [1:07:33] | who, yesterday, won $10,000? | 他昨天赢得了一万美元 |
| [1:07:36] | An investment analyst… | |
| [1:07:37] | They had a meeting here and we’re going over dates | 今天我们开了会 对了一下日程 |
| [1:07:39] | and I look down. Tuesday’s empty. | 我低头一看 周二我空档 |
| [1:07:42] | Oops. | 哎呀 |
| [1:07:43] | – Feel sorry for Delia. – I mean, | 我为迪莉娅感到难过 |
| [1:07:45] | it’s wide open, Susie. | 那天完全没有安排 苏西 |
| [1:07:46] | And when I questioned it, | 当我提出质疑时 |
| [1:07:47] | she looked at me like I’m insane. | 她看着我 |
| [1:07:49] | You want me to call her? | 仿佛我疯了一样 你想要我给她打电话吗? |
| [1:07:50] | I want you to come back to work. | 我只想要你回来工作 |
| [1:07:53] | I’ve done my time. | 我已经退休了 |
| [1:07:55] | I’ll call her tomorrow. | 我明天给她打电话 |
| [1:07:56] | I think I’m gonna take the champ. | 我押冠军会赢 |
| [1:07:58] | Okay. I got bushy beard man. | 我押胡子浓密的男的 |
| [1:07:59] | Here we go, the Jeopardy! round. | 危险回合开始 |
| [1:08:01] | Gonna be a good match. | 这将是一场精彩的比赛 |
| [1:08:03] | Should we make it a little more interesting? | 咱们要不要让它变得更有趣? |
| [1:08:05] | It’s been interesting for 45 years. | 45年来它一直很有趣 |
| [1:08:07] | I’m not sure how we’re gonna top it now. | 我不知道还能怎样超越它 |
| [1:08:09] | Let’s do… | 我选福布斯《富豪榜》 |
| [1:08:10] | Forbes’ Billionaires, $200. | 200美元 |
| [1:08:12] | March was a great month for her: | “三月对她来说是一个很好的月份 |
| [1:08:14] | she made her debut on the Forbes list… | “她首次登上福布斯榜单…” |
| [1:08:16] | – Martha Stewart. – Oh. The chick who went | -玛莎斯图尔特 -她进过监狱 |
| [1:08:17] | to jail ’cause she’s a broad, | 就因为她是一个女的 |
| [1:08:18] | even though every other guy who does the same fucking thing is walking around completely free. | 别的男的干过同样的事却都没事 |
| [1:08:22] | – Who is Martha Stewart? – Yes. | -是玛莎斯图尔特? |
| [1:08:23] | Billionaires for $600. | -对 |
| [1:08:24] | I think he would’ve given me that one. | 要是我 他应该也会让我答那道题 |
| [1:08:26] | …but this septuagenarian | “…但迪士尼家族的 |
| [1:08:27] | member of the Disney family is still on it. | “这位七十多岁的成员 依然榜上有名” 约翰? |
| [1:08:29] | – John? – Who is Roy Disney? | -是罗伊迪士尼? -罗伊迪士尼 |
| [1:08:31] | – Roy Disney. – Oh, he’s a nice man. | 他是个好人 |
| [1:08:33] | – Predators for $600. – Are we gonna keep… | 食肉动物 600美元 |
| [1:08:34] | How do you think I’d look in a goatee? | 你觉得我留山羊胡子会是啥样? |
| [1:08:36] | Why would that even occur to you? | 你咋会有这种想法? |
| [1:08:38] | Well, if there is reincarnation, | 如果有轮回 |
| [1:08:39] | I could come back as a man and I want to have a look. | 我有可能会变成一个男的 我想着要打扮成啥样好 |
| [1:08:42] | – Are you bald? – Why? | -你会是秃头吗? -为什么这么问? |
| [1:08:44] | Because I think if you’re bald, | 因为我觉得如果你是秃头就很奇怪 |
| [1:08:45] | it’s weird if all the hair you have is under your chin. | 想象你所有毛发都长在下巴下面 |
| [1:08:48] | Hmm? Goatee looks better with a full head of hair. | 山羊胡子搭配满头的头发更好看 |
| [1:08:50] | That is ridiculous. | 那太荒谬了 |
| [1:08:51] | That is ridiculous? | 这算荒谬?聊这种事才荒谬好吧 |
| [1:08:52] | Not this entire conversation? | |
| [1:08:54] | You don’t ever imagine what you’d come back as | 你从没想象过自己转世回来 |
| [1:08:56] | – if you came back? – No. | 会变成什么吗? |
| [1:08:58] | I still have all my marbles. | 没 我还活得好好的呢 |
| [1:08:59] | I think about it all the time. | 我经常想这种事 |
| [1:09:01] | Who would I be? Where would I live? | 我会变成谁?在哪里生活? |
| [1:09:03] | – What if I was an animal? – Oh, boy. | 会不会变成一只动物? 好家伙 |
| [1:09:05] | I think I’d make a cute squirrel. | 我觉得我会变成一只可爱的松鼠 |
| [1:09:07] | Or a swan. | 或者一只天鹅 |
| [1:09:08] | Or a wild mustang. | 或者一匹野马 |
| [1:09:10] | I’d be a great wild mustang. What about you? | 如果是野马 我的性子一定很烈 你呢? |
| [1:09:12] | I am not coming back as anything. | 我不会转世回来的 |
| [1:09:14] | Come on. | 快点 |
| [1:09:15] | I am fine being dead. I prefer it. | 死了就死了 死亡和转世我更喜欢前者 |
| [1:09:17] | Any animal, what would you be? | 随便你选 你想变成什么动物? |
| [1:09:21] | – Skunk. – Why? | -臭鼬 -为什么? |
| [1:09:23] | Mm, great fur. Cute face. | 皮毛很酷 |
| [1:09:25] | And your ass is a weapon. | 脸蛋可爱 |
| [1:09:26] | That does seem like you. | 而且屁股就是武器 |
| [1:09:28] | Right? | -这点跟你确实像 -对吧? |
| [1:09:29] | Walking down the street, someone bumps me, | 走在街上如果有人撞到我 |
| [1:09:31] | turn, tail up… bam! | 我就转个身 抬起尾巴 |
| [1:09:33] | – I can picture it. – Yeah. | 发射! 我能够想象 |
| [1:09:35] | And I look back over my shoulder while I do it. | 我会一边发射臭液一边回头看 |
| [1:09:37] | And you’re wearing your cap. | 并且你还戴着帽子 |
| [1:09:40] | That’s right, buddy. | 没错 |
| [1:09:41] | That smell? That’s you. | 伙计 |
| [1:09:43] | Enjoy your tomato juice bath. | 闻到味儿了吧? 熏的就是你!好好享受番茄汁浴吧! |
| [1:09:45] | Tomato juice bath. | 番茄汁浴 |
| [1:09:48] | Yeah, throw-throw a celery stalk in there. | 在旁边放根芹菜梗吧 |
| [1:09:50] | You’re gonna be a while. | 你得洗很长一段时间 |
| [1:09:51] | Celery stalk. | 芹菜梗 |
| [1:09:54] | Next time, you’re gonna look where you’re walking. | 下次走路要长眼睛 |
| [1:09:56] | Huh? [laughs] | |
| [1:09:58] | Pepé Le Jew over here, huh? | 我可是臭美公主 |
| [1:10:10] | Oh, it hurts. Stop. | 笑得我肚子痛 别说了 创意监督 朝思 |
| [1:10:19] | ♪ Girls talk ♪ | |
| [1:10:27] | ♪ There are some things you can’t cover up ♪ | |
| [1:10:30] | ♪ With lipstick and powder ♪ | |
| [1:10:34] | ♪ Thought I heard you mention my name ♪ | |
| [1:10:37] | ♪ Can’t you talk any louder? ♪ | |
| [1:10:41] | ♪ Don’t come any closer ♪ | |
| [1:10:43] | ♪ Don’t come any nearer ♪ | |
| [1:10:44] | ♪ My vision of you ♪ | |
| [1:10:46] | ♪ Can’t come any clearer ♪ | |
| [1:10:48] | ♪ Oh, I ♪ | |
| [1:10:51] | ♪ Just want to hear girls talk ♪ | |
| [1:10:57] | ♪ Got a loaded imagination ♪ | |
| [1:10:59] | ♪ Bein’ fired by girls talk ♪ | |
| [1:11:04] | ♪ It’s a more or less situation ♪ | |
| [1:11:07] | ♪ Inspired by girls talk ♪ | |
| [1:11:11] | – ♪ But I can’t say ♪ – ♪ Can’t say ♪ | |
| [1:11:13] | – ♪ The words you want to hear ♪ – ♪ Want to hear ♪ | |
| [1:11:15] | ♪ I suppose you’re gonna have to ♪ | |
| [1:11:17] | ♪ Play it by ear right here ♪ | |
| [1:11:21] | ♪ And now ♪ | |
| [1:11:23] | ♪ Girls talk ♪ | |
| [1:11:24] | ♪ And they want to know how ♪ | |
| [1:11:26] | – ♪ Girls talk ♪ – ♪ And they say ♪ | |
| [1:11:28] | ♪ It’s not allowed ♪ | |
| [1:11:30] | – ♪ Girls talk ♪ – ♪ If they say that it’s so ♪ | |
| [1:11:32] | ♪ Don’t you think that I’d know by now? ♪ | |
| [1:11:38] | ♪ Got the word up on everyone’s lipstick ♪ | |
| [1:11:42] | ♪ That you’re getting faded ♪ | |
| [1:11:46] | ♪ You may not be an old-fashioned girl ♪ | |
| [1:11:48] | ♪ But you’re gonna get dated ♪ | |
| [1:11:52] | ♪ Was it really murder? ♪ | |
| [1:11:55] | ♪ Were you just pretending? ♪ | |
| [1:11:57] | ♪ Lately I have heard ♪ | |
| [1:11:58] | ♪ You are the living end ♪ | |
| [1:12:04] | ♪ Girls talk ♪ | |
| [1:12:05] | ♪ And they want to know how ♪ | |
| [1:12:08] | ♪ Girls talk ♪ | |
| [1:12:09] | ♪ And they say it’s not allowed ♪ | |
| [1:12:11] | – ♪ Girls talk ♪ – ♪ And they think ♪ | |
| [1:12:13] | – ♪ They know how ♪ – ♪ Girls talk ♪ | |
| [1:12:16] | ♪ If they say that it’s so ♪ | |
| [1:12:18] | ♪ Don’t you think that I’d know by now? ♪ | |
| [1:12:38] | ♪ But I can’t say ♪ | |
| [1:12:40] | ♪ The words you want to hear ♪ | |
| [1:12:42] | ♪ I suppose you’re gonna ♪ | |
| [1:12:44] | ♪ Have to play it by ear ♪ | |
| [1:12:46] | – ♪ Right here ♪ – ♪ There are some things ♪ | |
| [1:12:48] | ♪ You can’t cover up with lipstick and powder ♪ | |
| [1:12:55] | ♪ But I heard you mention my name ♪ | |
| [1:12:57] | ♪ Can’t you talk any louder? ♪ | |
| [1:13:02] | ♪ Don’t come any closer ♪ | |
| [1:13:03] | ♪ Don’t come any nearer ♪ | |
| [1:13:05] | ♪ My vision of you ♪ | |
| [1:13:06] | ♪ Can’t come any clearer ♪ | |
| [1:13:11] | – ♪ Girls talk ♪ – ♪ And they want ♪ | |
| [1:13:12] | – ♪ To know how ♪ – ♪ Girls talk ♪ | |
| [1:13:15] | ♪ And they say it’s not allowed ♪ | |
| [1:13:18] | ♪ Girls talk ♪ | |
| [1:13:19] | ♪ And they think they know how ♪ | |
| [1:13:22] | ♪ Girls talk, girls talk ♪ | |
| [1:13:26] | ♪ Girls talk ♪ | |
| [1:13:27] | ♪ Girls talk, girls talk ♪ | |
| [1:13:30] | ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ | |
| [1:13:33] | ♪ Girls talk ♪ | |
| [1:13:35] | ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ |