时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:04] | *Now you’re looking at a man that’s getting kinda mad.* | *小炯最近很抓狂* |
[00:09] | *I had lots of luck but it’s all been bad* | *天天霉运一箩筐* |
[00:13] | *No matter how I struggle and strive,* | *发奋努力白劳碌* |
[00:17] | *I’ll never get out of this world alive* | *老天从来不赏光* |
[00:21] | *My fishing pole’s broke, the creek is full of sand,* | *鞋儿破来帽儿破* |
[00:25] | *My woman run away with another man.* | *女朋友都不要我* |
[00:29] | *No matter how I struggle and strive,* | *发愤努力白劳碌* |
[00:33] | *I’ll never get out of this world alive* | *老天从来不赏光* |
[00:49] | – First day back. – Back at the O.C.. | -回来的第一天 -回到O.C.了 |
[00:51] | No one calls it the O.C.. | 没人会把这简称为O.C.[加州橘子郡] |
[00:53] | – Yeah. – It is good to be back though. | -就是嘛 -不过回来感觉真爽 |
[00:55] | This is fun– having a job, working. | 重返职场还蛮有趣的 |
[00:57] | Good old sixth floor. | 美好又熟悉的六楼啊 |
[00:59] | You coming, Tim? | 你不来吗 小炯 |
[01:00] | Oh, I’m not on six anymore. | 我不在六楼工作了 |
[01:02] | – What? – What? | -虾米? -啥? |
[01:03] | With my promotion I’m up on seven. | 升职后我搬上七楼了 |
[01:05] | Oh, so you’re– you’re too good for us now, is that it? | 所以说我们配不上你了 是不 |
[01:08] | I’m not too good for anyone. I’m just up on seven. | 没说谁配不上我啊 不就搬上七楼而已嘛 |
[01:10] | “Oh, I’m up on seven now.” | “我现在搬上七楼了” |
[01:11] | You sound really smug, buddy. | 你的语气很沾沾自喜 伙计 |
[01:13] | Smug about the seventh floor? | 因为七楼而沾沾自喜? |
[01:15] | “Look at me.” | “瞧瞧我呀” |
[01:16] | – “I’m Tim. I’m powerful.” – What? | -“我是炯哥 我有权有势” -什么 |
[01:18] | “I piss on the sixth floor people.” | “我在六楼的废柴身上撒尿” |
[01:20] | I never said I’m pissing on anybody. | 我没说过要在谁身上撒尿 |
[01:22] | In your head you are. | 可你心里是这么想的 |
[01:23] | – Oh my God. – You whipped it out and you’re pissing it | -我的天 -你像是掏出宝贝就直接撒尿 |
[01:24] | – on our faces. – I’m not. | -撒在咱的脸上 -我才没有 |
[01:26] | And laughing about it. And it’s salty. | 然后嘲笑我们 咸死了 |
[01:28] | – In my eyes. – The doors are closing. | -撒到我眼睛里了 -门要关上了 |
[01:30] | Yes, they are, Tim. On this friendship. | 没错 小炯 咱的友谊之门即将关闭 |
[01:31] | – We’ll see you at lunch. – Good riddance. | -午餐时候再见吧 -摆脱我们真愉快 |
[01:36] | Uh uh uh, I’m sorry. | 呃 不好意思 |
[01:39] | I think you’re sitting in my seat. | 我想你是坐了我的位置了 |
[01:41] | – What? – You’re in my seat. | -什么 -你占了我的座儿 |
[01:43] | This is where I sit. | 我就坐这儿的 |
[01:45] | Hey, aren’t you the chick from the lobby? | 你不就是坐在大堂那妞儿嘛 |
[01:47] | – Oh, yeah. – Yeah. | -是啊 -就是嘛 |
[01:49] | I used to sit in the lobby and then they were like, | 我之前是坐在大堂 然后他们就说 |
[01:52] | “Hey, why don’t you stop sitting in the lobby?” | “要不你别再坐大堂了” |
[01:56] | All right. | 好吧 |
[01:57] | I’ve been Mr. Davis’s assistant | 我做戴维斯先生的助手 |
[01:59] | for two months now. | 已经两个月了 |
[02:00] | Rodney, get in here. I need you. | 大鲁 进来一下 找你有事儿 |
[02:03] | See? | 听见没 |
[02:06] | Hey hey hey, boss. Look who’s back. | 嘿 老大 看看谁回来了 |
[02:09] | Ugh! No. You? | 呃 怎么是你 |
[02:11] | Uh, no. I didn’t want you, Rodney. | 不 我不是叫你 大鲁 |
[02:13] | I wanted her, Rodney. | 我要的是她 鲁妹 |
[02:15] | Wait, her name’s Rodney too? | 等等 她的名字也叫阿鲁吗 |
[02:17] | I mean, I was just so used to calling my assistant Rodney, | 我只是习惯了喊我的助手叫大鲁 |
[02:20] | it just seemed so much simpler just to | 所以给她升职的时候 |
[02:22] | change her name to Rodney when we promoted her. | 直接把她名字改成大鲁更方便 |
[02:24] | Wait, so I’m out? | 等等 那我是出局了吗 |
[02:24] | I thought Tim’s deal was we all get our old jobs back. | 我以为小炯的条件是咱们都能回来上班啊 |
[02:27] | Relax relax, you all have jobs. | 别紧张 你们都有工作 |
[02:29] | As it happens, we need an | 我们正需要给新来的 |
[02:30] | assistant for one of our brand-new executives. | 行政主管配一个助手 |
[02:33] | Hey hey hey. | 大家好 |
[02:34] | – No fucking way. – Oh, hey. | -不他妈可能吧 -哦 是你 |
[02:37] | I’m not being Tim’s assistant. | 我才不当小炯的助手 |
[02:39] | I’m afraid that’s the young executive’s decision. | 恐怕这取决于这位年轻的行政主管了 |
[02:41] | – What’s happening here? – Now that you’re an executive, | -这是怎么回事儿 -既然你现在是主管了 |
[02:44] | – you get an assistant. – Oh wow. | -你得有一个助手 -哇 |
[02:46] | Would you like hot Rodney | 你是喜欢火辣的大鲁呢 |
[02:48] | or just regular old Rodney? | 还是普普通通的大鲁 |
[02:51] | I’m going to– I’m going to pull the trigger | 我要 我想我要选择 |
[02:53] | here on hot Rodney. | 这位火辣的大鲁了 |
[02:55] | Here you go, here he comes. | 这不 他属于你了 |
[02:56] | What? No no. I said I want hot Rodney. | 什么 不 我说我想要火辣大鲁 |
[02:58] | Yeah, you got him. I named him that | 对啊 你得到他了 我称他火辣 |
[02:59] | because he’s always wearing those charming hockey sweaters | 是因为他总是穿着光鲜的曲棍球衣 |
[03:01] | and they tend to create quite an oven. | 那效果简直就像在烤箱里 |
[03:03] | – They trap heat. – What?! | -像陷入火焰中 -啥 |
[03:06] | When you wear them, how would you describe | 穿着这球衣 你会如何形容 |
[03:07] | – what it’s like inside of them? – I’m hot. | -你身体的感觉? -我很火辣 |
[03:10] | Hot Rodney! | 这就是火辣大鲁了 |
[03:12] | I was actually impressed | 你居然知道这是曲棍球衣 |
[03:13] | that you know it’s called a hockey sweater | 我挺钦佩的 |
[03:14] | Sweater, I know. | 球衣我是知道的 |
[03:15] | As opposed to a Jersey. | 况且你是和泽西抗衡的 |
[03:16] | I played at Tufts. | 我曾在塔夫茨学院打球 |
[03:17] | Oh, this is a disaster. Let’s just switch it back. | 这简直是个灾难 对换一下好了 |
[03:20] | Sorry, you failed. Welcome back. | 对不起 不可能 欢迎回来 |
[03:25] | Oh my God. | 我的天啊 |
[03:27] | What a funny turn of events. | 真是个有趣又曲折的事件 |
[03:28] | I’m breaking inside. | 我内心快崩溃了 |
[03:30] | Rodney. | 大鲁 |
[03:31] | – What? – Come on, | -什么 -来嘛 |
[03:32] | let’s just do our work. It’s fun. | 就好好干活儿吧 很有趣啊 |
[03:34] | I’d rather like, lick toilets in prison. | 我宁愿去监狱里舔厕所 |
[03:36] | You’re still an assistant, Rodney. | 你依然是一个助手啊 大鲁 |
[03:37] | It’s the same job. | 同一个岗位而已 |
[03:38] | But I’m your assistant. That’s like | 但我是你的助手 |
[03:40] | the lowest of the low, bro. | 感觉就像跌到了最低层 |
[03:42] | No, it’s prestigious. | 哪有 我声望很高的 |
[03:43] | Oh my God, this is horrible. | 天啊 真是糟透了 |
[03:44] | – This is a different side of Rodney. – Oh, your phone’s ringing! | -还真没见过大鲁这一面 -你的电话响了 |
[03:46] | You want me to answer that, I bet, huh? | 我猜你要我去接听 是吧 |
[03:48] | Pick up the phone, Rodney! Pick up the phone! | 接电话呀 大鲁 接电话呀 |
[03:51] | This is the worst job ever! | 这是个最恶劣的工作 |
[03:53] | All right, you know what? Just do something easy. | 好吧 要不这样 就干点简单的活儿 |
[03:56] | Go get me some Charleston chews. | 给我买点查斯顿口香糖 |
[03:57] | – Oh oh oh my God! – Just– it’s not. | -我勒个去啊 -不 |
[03:59] | – Charleston chews, bro? – Oh my God. | -买口香糖? -我的天啊 |
[04:02] | A Charleston fucking chew?! | 他妈的查斯顿口香糖?! |
[04:04] | By definition you have to assist me with something. | 照字面意思你是得协助我做点什么的呀 |
[04:06] | – Fuck you, man. I’ll go get your Charleston chew. – Holy shit. | -去你的 我买口香糖去了 -天啊 |
[04:10] | Off to a rough first hour here. | 度过了最难熬的一个小时 |
[04:17] | Stiff Rod. | 鲁兄 |
[04:18] | How’s the first day back, man? | 第一天回来感觉如何 伙计 |
[04:20] | Oh, hey Stan. It sucks. | 嘿 斯坦 糟透了 |
[04:22] | I’m Tim’s assistant now, | 我现在是小炯的助手 |
[04:24] | and he’s got me running around town | 他还使唤我到处跑腿 |
[04:27] | assisting him with work-related tasks. | 协助他干些”跟工作有关”的活 |
[04:30] | Are you kidding me? Someone needs to twist that fucker’s dick off | 开玩笑吧 真该把这混蛋的鸡鸡扭下来 |
[04:33] | and shove it up his ass. | 然后塞进他屁眼里 |
[04:35] | Bro, I was literally thinking the same thing. | 兄弟 我也正这么想呢 |
[04:38] | If you ask me, it’s time for Tim to get stanked. | 照我说 是时候让小炯尝尝斯弄了 |
[04:42] | – What? – Stanked. | -什么 -斯弄 |
[04:44] | It’s a combo of “Stan” And “Pranked.” | 就是斯坦和恶作剧的结合 |
[04:46] | Oh yeah, okay. | 这样啊 好吧 |
[04:48] | So like we could take him outside, kick him in the nuts | 我们可以把他带出去 踢他命根子 |
[04:50] | and then just be like… “You got stanked!” | 然后说 “你被斯弄了” |
[04:53] | Or we could take him, | 或者我们可以把他 |
[04:54] | throw him off, like, the second-floor balcony, and be like… | 从二楼阳台扔下去 然后说 |
[04:57] | “Stanked! Stanked! Stanked!” | “你被斯弄了 斯弄了 斯弄了” |
[05:03] | Stu is skipping to the bathroom | 司徒溜进洗手间 |
[05:06] | He’s had a cup of coffee and he’s ready to let loose | 喝完咖啡他要放放松 |
[05:09] | Stall number Stu is where Stu’s gonna do his Stu damage. | 司徒号隔间里 司徒要搞破坏 |
[05:13] | – Hello. Hi. – Hi. | -嗨 你好 -你好 |
[05:16] | Hey, do you, uh, do you work for U.P.S.? | 你在快递公司工作吗 |
[05:19] | No. Why do you ask? | 不 问这干什么 |
[05:21] | Because I’d like you to handle my package. | 因为我想让你处理我的包裹 |
[05:24] | Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t work for the U.P.S. | 抱歉 我不在快递公司工作 |
[05:27] | Okay, so you don’t get that. | 好吧 看来你没听懂 |
[05:29] | – Get what? – That was a joke. | -听懂什么 -这是个笑话 |
[05:38] | Hey, are you someone important here? | 你是这里的大人物吗 |
[05:40] | I am. I’m Stu. | 是的 我是司徒 |
[05:44] | Stu balls. | 咸蛋司徒 |
[05:52] | Yeah, that’s my name. That’s my family’s name. | 我就姓这个 我全家都姓这个 |
[05:55] | What ethnicity is that? | 这个姓的源流是哪里 |
[05:57] | Do you know anything about the Dutch? | 你对荷兰族裔有什么了解没有 |
[05:59] | No, nothing. | 没有 一无所知 |
[06:00] | Then it’s a Dutch name. | 那这就是个荷兰裔姓氏 |
[06:05] | – See? It’s not so bad. – No no. | -看 其实没那么糟吧 -没有 |
[06:07] | I think I’m doing much better now. | 我想我现在感觉好多了 |
[06:08] | It just took me a little bit to warm up, that’s all. | 我就是比较慢热而已 |
[06:10] | That’s good. I’m gonna go out for my falafel. | 那太好了 我要去吃个色拉三明治 |
[06:12] | You just chill here. | 你可以在这放松一下 |
[06:13] | You know what? You are a great boss. | 知道吗 你真是个好上司 |
[06:15] | I’m just– I’m sorry for being testy before. | 很抱歉我之前那么粗暴 |
[06:18] | – You’re a great assistant. – Thank you. | -你是个很好的助理 -谢谢 |
[06:21] | Thank you. I’m sorry. | 也谢谢你 我很抱歉 |
[06:23] | I shouldn’t have messed up your hair like that. | 我不该把你头发弄得这么乱 |
[06:25] | Nah, it’s all right. | 不 没关系 |
[06:26] | – It’s fine. – That sort of seemed like a playful gesture. | -没关系 -这看起来很休闲 |
[06:27] | – It looks better. – All right. | -那更好了 -好吧 |
[06:28] | You’re the boss. It looks better. | 你是领导你说了算 这发型更好 |
[06:30] | See you later. | 过会见 |
[06:35] | What the hell was that? | 这是什么鬼声音 |
[06:37] | Yeah, was that supposed to be a fucking bird? | 就是 难道是他妈的鸟叫吗 |
[06:39] | Dude, why would there be a bird in the office? | 老兄 办公室里怎么会有鸟呢 |
[06:41] | Just shut the door, guys. Come on! What’s the prank? | 关上门 伙计们 说说怎么捉弄他 |
[06:43] | As you both know, I’m the master of impressions. | 众所周知 我是模仿大师 |
[06:46] | Actually, that is entirely new information. | 这还真是头回听说 |
[06:48] | I’m getting too old for this shit. | 我不捉弄人已经很久了 |
[06:50] | Too old? This whole thing was your idea. | 神马不捉弄人 这可全是你的主意 |
[06:53] | I think that was his impression of Danny Glover, | 我想他那是在模仿狄龙 |
[06:56] | – but it was terrible. – I also do a spot on Tim. | -但模仿得真烂 -我也能模仿小炯 |
[06:59] | – Just trust me on this one. – Oh. Yes. | -这次你们可以信任我 -太好了 |
[07:03] | – Hey Tim, what’s, what’s going on. – Hey, Becky. | -小炯 有什么事吗 -嗨 贝基 |
[07:07] | Just kicking it executive-style up on seven. | 我就是在七楼找到了当经理的感觉 |
[07:10] | F.Y.I., I broke up with my girlfriend, | 特此通知 我跟女朋友分手了 |
[07:14] | so I’m on the market if you want to get first dibs. | 我已投入婚恋市场 你可以抢先预订 |
[07:17] | First dibs on what exactly? | 抢先预订什么 |
[07:20] | First dibs on me– fresh meat; Grade A Tim meat. | 抢先预订我的肉棒 特级小炯牌肉棒 |
[07:24] | Beef– big sweaty beef. | 新鲜幼嫩的肉棒哦 |
[07:27] | Talk to you later, sugar tits. | 以后再联系 甜妞 |
[07:30] | Oh my God, Tim just offered me | 我的神 小炯刚刚跟我推销 |
[07:32] | his sweaty meat and called me sugar tits. | 他的肉棒 还叫我甜妞 |
[07:36] | You gotta do Helen, bro. | 跟海婶也来这么一下 兄弟 |
[07:38] | Fucking Helen, that bitch. Watch this. | 他妈的海婶 那个贱人 看我的 |
[07:42] | Uh, Tim? | 小炯吗 |
[07:43] | Hey, Helen. How’s your first day back? | 海婶 回来第一天感觉如何 |
[07:46] | Oh, it’s really wonderful. | 感觉好极了 |
[07:48] | Anyway, I never had the nerve to say it in person, | 好吧 我以前没敢当面告诉你 |
[07:51] | but I wanted to let you | 但我现在想让你知道 |
[07:52] | know that old fat chicks make me super horny. | 丰满的熟女会让我特别饥渴 |
[07:54] | – Tim! – Tim loves wrinkly, | -小炯 -小炯爱有皱纹的 |
[07:58] | mature, chubby ladies. | 肉感熟女 |
[07:59] | No, don’t say that. | 不 别说这种话 |
[08:00] | I love older, wrinkly butts and boobs. | 我喜欢成熟且有皱纹的丰乳肥臀 |
[08:02] | No! Don’t say those things. No! | 不 别说这种话 别说了 |
[08:04] | And I just want to get all kinds of sexy in ’em. | 我想汲取其中所有的诱惑 |
[08:06] | Please, I don’t want to hear this. | 求你了 我不想听这种话 |
[08:08] | Stanked! Stanked! Stanked! Dude, that was amazing. | -斯弄 斯弄 斯弄 -太有才了 |
[08:10] | Cool. You’re cool, Stan. Your behavior’s cool. | 酷 你真酷 斯坦 你的行为真酷 |
[08:15] | Tim Tim Tim. | 小炯 小炯 小炯 |
[08:19] | Marie Marie Marie. | 马姐 马姐 马姐 |
[08:21] | – Tim. – Tim. | -小炯 -小炯 |
[08:23] | We haven’t said a whole lot yet. | 我们连句完整的话都没说 |
[08:25] | We’re just saying each other’s names. | 只是相互叫对方的名字 |
[08:26] | One day as an executive, the power goes straight to your head. | 就当了一天经理 你就被权力弄昏了头 |
[08:30] | Is this about the Charleston chews? | 是因为巧克力糖的事情吗 |
[08:31] | I was just trying to keep him busy. | 我就是让他有点事做而已 |
[08:32] | Tim, this is about the calls you made during lunch. | 小炯 是因为你午饭时间打的那些电话 |
[08:34] | Calls you made during lunch, Tim. | 你午饭时间打的电话 小炯 |
[08:36] | Call? I didn’t make any calls. | 电话 我没打电话呀 |
[08:37] | -You called every woman on the sixth floor… – No no. | -你给六楼所有女员工打了电话 -不 |
[08:40] | – …and said sexually abusive things. – Please don’t say that. | -说了各种猥亵的话 -请别这么说 |
[08:42] | – You even left a message for gay Gary. – What?! | -你甚至给基友加里也留了言 -什么 |
[08:45] | We just call him Gary, I think. | 我们还是喊他加里比较好 |
[08:47] | Well, g.G. | 好吧 加基 |
[08:48] | I didn’t leave a message for Gary. | 我没有给加里留言 |
[08:49] | It seems like you did. | 你留了 |
[08:51] | Hey, Gary, it’s me. | 加里 是我 |
[08:53] | It’s Tim. I’m gay now | 我是小炯 我现在也搅基了 |
[08:56] | and was wondering if you’d like to put your penis in my mouth. | 我想问问你想不想让我给你口交 |
[09:00] | Or just tickle each other when we’re naked | 或者我们坦诚相见 边相互呵痒 |
[09:03] | watching “The Wizard of Oz.” | 边看《绿野仙踪》 |
[09:05] | You heard that voice and now you hear me. | 你听听那声音 再听听我的 |
[09:06] | You think it’s the same person? | 你觉得是一样的吗 |
[09:07] | – You have a pretty unique voice. – Yes, it’s the same voice | -你声音很特别 -没错 是一样的 |
[09:09] | – It’s exactly the same voice. – That’s obviously Stan. | -绝对是一样的 -那明显是斯坦 |
[09:11] | And you can hear Stu and Rodney in the background. | 你还能听到旁边司徒和大鲁的声音 |
[09:13] | – Hold on, is that– -Is that– | -等等 难道 -难道 |
[09:15] | – is that what’s going on here? – It’s a prank call. | -难道这才是真相 -这完全是恶作剧 |
[09:17] | That’s what’s happening here, some kind of jerky boys knockoff. | 原来是几个臭小子在仿冒他人 |
[09:20] | – Yeah. – This is unacceptable. | -没错 -这让人无法容忍 |
[09:21] | Listen, I know it’s unacceptable. | 听着 我知道这让人无法容忍 |
[09:23] | Don’t come down too hard on those guys. | 但请对他们手下留情 |
[09:24] | Oh, them? Really? | 对他们 是吗 |
[09:25] | If I take a dog and he poops on a lawn, | 如果我带着一条狗 而它在草坪上便便 |
[09:28] | I don’t fire the dog. | 我不会惩罚狗的 |
[09:29] | – No. – So you, it’s your fault. | -没错 -所以 这是你的错 |
[09:32] | My fault? What did I do? | 我的错 我做错什么了 |
[09:33] | Tim, you’re spineless. You need to go out there | 小炯 你太没骨气了 你得走出去 |
[09:35] | and immediately earn the respect of your co-workers. | 然后立刻去赢得你同事们的尊敬 |
[09:39] | – How would I do that? – Degrade them, defile them, | -我要怎样做呢 -贬低 诋毁 |
[09:41] | – demoralize them. – Spit if you must. | -打击他们 -必要时使用口水攻击 |
[09:43] | Put on a little onesie suit like Kim Jong-Il | 穿件就像金正日一样的连体衣 |
[09:46] | and tell them what’s what. | 去告诉他们事情的真相 |
[09:47] | – Let me just remember: Degrade… – Right. | -让我小记一下 贬低 -没错 |
[09:48] | – Defile… – Right. | -诋毁 -没错 |
[09:51] | – …demean? – Demoralize. | -贬低身份 -打击 |
[09:52] | – Demoralize. – I like demean. | -打击 -我喜欢贬低身份这词 |
[09:54] | Let’s slip demean in there. | 就让我们悄悄加进贬低身份这个环节吧 |
[09:58] | You kidding me, Rodney? | 大鲁 你在搞笑吗 |
[09:59] | – What? – What’s that, drinking coffee on the job? | -什么 -那什么 工作期间喝咖啡 |
[10:02] | – I had some down time. – Hey, no. | -我趁间歇时间休息下 -不 |
[10:05] | No down time on Tim time. | 小炯字典里没有间歇时间这个词 |
[10:06] | – What? I just… – You better shut the fuck up… | -什么 我只是 -吞吞吐吐的 |
[10:09] | – Whoa. – …While you’re behind, pal. | -哇 -最好闭上你的鸟嘴 伙计 |
[10:11] | You’re testing me. | 你在挑战我极限吗 |
[10:12] | – You know what you are, Rodney? – What? | -大鲁 知道你是什么吗 -什么 |
[10:14] | You’re an ass. You’re a living, breathing ass. | 你就是头蠢驴 活灵活现的蠢驴 |
[10:17] | A human as… you know what? I just had an idea. | 一个人像 知道什么吗 我有个想法 |
[10:20] | Go get me an ass. Get me a live donkey. | 带头驴过来 要活的 |
[10:23] | – Dude, have… have you gone crazy? – You know what? | -伙计 你 你疯了吗 -你懂屁 |
[10:26] | Maybe I have, but if you’re not back | 或许我是疯了 但要是下午五点以前 |
[10:27] | with the donkey by 5:00 P.M., you’re fired. | 我见不着驴 你就卷铺盖滚蛋吧 |
[10:30] | Wow, that was really impressive. | 真是让人永生难忘啊 |
[10:32] | – I’ve never seen him that… – Kind of sexy. | -我从未见过他 -还有点性感 |
[10:35] | – Authoritative. – Yeah, like he’d… | -官腔十足 -就像是 他 |
[10:38] | …throw you down on a desk or something. | 重重地把你摔在桌上或什么的感觉 |
[10:41] | Well, I’d have to have my cushion. | 那我必须要垫上我的垫子先 |
[10:45] | I’m not comparing myself to Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin, | 我没自比阿贝·林肯或是本·富兰克林 |
[10:49] | but if you look at the different… | 可要是你们清楚不同的… |
[10:50] | – Yo, Timmy. – …Habits of the | -小炯 -习惯… |
[10:52] | – Oh my… oh my God! – Sorry to interrupt. | -天呐 天呐 -抱歉打断一下 |
[10:54] | – Here’s your… – Oh my God, you got it! | -这是你的… -你真带来了 |
[10:55] | Yeah, here’s your donkey. | 没错 你要的驴 |
[10:56] | – That’s insane. What, you got a donkey? – Yep. | -太疯狂了 什么你带了头驴 -是 |
[10:58] | I was not ready for this. It’s only been an hour. | 我毫无准备 这才一个小时 |
[11:00] | My buddy Sal in Brooklyn, he runs kids’ birthday parties, | 我布鲁克林的哥们塞尔 他在举行 |
[11:04] | bing bang boom– donkey. | 孩子们的”乒乒乓乓驴叫”生日宴会 |
[11:06] | – Sal fucked me. – What do you want me to do with it? | -塞尔赢了 -你想要我怎么处理它 |
[11:08] | Let me um, let me think. Let me think. | 让我 让我想想 让我想想 |
[11:11] | Let the executive think. | 让我这个经理想想 |
[11:19] | what are you doing in this disgusting office? | 你在这恶心的办公室里干嘛啊 |
[11:25] | I’m not thinking of my excuse, I’m just pausing. | 我不是在想借口 只是停顿一下 |
[11:28] | I am actually just posing as a low-level employee | 我实际上是在伪装成一个低等级员工 |
[11:31] | because I’m filming a reality show called | 因为我在拍摄一期真人秀 叫做 |
[11:35] | – “Incognito Boss.” – Oh, I get it. | -《老板微服私访》 -了解了 |
[11:38] | – Yeah? – Hey, uh, let me know if I can help. | -是吗 -如果我帮得上忙尽管开口 |
[11:41] | And, uh, I’ll do anything. | 还有 任何事都没问题 |
[11:44] | Well, then why don’t you take a seat on Mr. Omnicorp’s lap? | 那你为什么不坐在”人人”先生的膝盖上 |
[11:48] | – Mr. Omnicorp, you’re so naughty. – Yeah. | -“人人”先生 你真调皮 -没错 |
[11:51] | Whatever you want, Rodney is here | 不管你想要什么 大鲁随时会 |
[11:53] | to help. | 出手相助的 |
[11:55] | – Your name is Rodney? – Yeah, | -你的名字是大鲁 -是的 |
[11:57] | but you can call me regular Rodney. | 但你可以叫我 匀称版的大鲁 |
[11:59] | Okay, that’s just really a lateral move. | 好吧 这可真是个平级调动啊 |
[12:04] | Listen, people, we’re gonna do a little comparison here. | 大家好 我们在这将会做个小小的比较 |
[12:06] | We’re gonna see who’s better at their job, | 将会看到谁在其岗位上做得更好 |
[12:08] | Rodney or the donkey. | 大鲁或是小驴 |
[12:11] | Um, challenge number one, let’s see who answers phones better. | 挑战一 让我们看看谁能更好地接电话 |
[12:14] | And ring. | 还有 拨电话 |
[12:20] | – How may I assist you? – Not bad. | -我能帮你些什么 -还不错 |
[12:23] | Donkey? | 小驴 |
[12:24] | Let’s just pretend the donkey answered on speakerphone | 就让我们假装小驴用的是扩音模式答话 |
[12:27] | and everyone understood what he meant. | 然后每个人都知道他在说什么 |
[12:29] | – But he didn’t do– – Hey, let’s pretend he did. | -但他没做 -让我们假装他做了 |
[12:30] | He’s a donkey. Give him a break. All right, | 他是头驴 让他一回吧 好吧 |
[12:32] | let’s do a filing challenge. File the papers, Rodney. | 接下来是归档挑战 文件归档 大鲁 |
[12:36] | – Oh no, oh no, oh no. – Did I lose? | -噢 不 -是我输了吗 |
[12:40] | – Top it, Rodney. Top it. – That makes me feel disrespected. | -超过他 大鲁 -我觉得这很失礼 |
[12:43] | I know. You know what? | 我知道 你知道吗 |
[12:44] | Forget the challenge. Let’s call it a draw. | 别管文件归档挑战了 你们打平了 |
[12:46] | A draw? | 平局 |
[12:48] | The point is well made. They’re both pretty pretty similar. | 结果一目了然 他俩相当相似 |
[12:51] | What?! | 什么 |
[12:52] | Why in God’s name is there a live donkey in my office? | 究竟是为啥有头活生生的蠢驴在我办公室 |
[12:56] | Boss, boss, I was doing what you said. | 老 老板 我正在做你告诉我的 |
[12:58] | I’m publically demoralizing Rodney and making him feel bad | 我在公开贬低大鲁 让他在小组里 |
[13:00] | – in a– in a group setting. – Okay, let me, let me ask… | -感到难堪 -行 让 让我问问 |
[13:03] | – It was a comparison. – Can I… Are you a retard? | -这是比较 -我可以 你能等下吗 |
[13:05] | – Me? No. – For Christ’s sake, Tim, | -我 不 -看在上帝份上 小炯 |
[13:08] | Rodney’s going to come across as superior to a donkey, | 大鲁跟小驴 跟任何有蹄动物 |
[13:11] | to any ungulate, any hoofed creature. | 乃至有蹄生物狭路相逢 绝对是胜者 |
[13:13] | – This is crazy. – You’re not helping me | -这太疯狂了 -你没在帮我 |
[13:15] | – win the respect of my… – Listen, | -赢得尊重 -听着 |
[13:16] | you want to see some effective leadership? | 你想见到有效的领导能力吗 |
[13:17] | Here we go. Rodney, you work for me again. | 那就开始吧 大鲁 你继续为我工作 |
[13:20] | Tim, you no longer have an assistant. | 小炯 你再也没助手了 |
[13:22] | Stu, pick up the donkeyshit. | 司徒 捡起驴粪 |
[13:24] | Right now, pick it up. We wanna watch. | 立刻 捡起来 我们看着你捡 |
[13:25] | All right, everyone back to work except for Tim. | 好吧 除了小炯 每个人都回去工作 |
[13:27] | Mr. Davis, you may not want to do that. | 戴维斯先生 你可能不想这么做吧 |
[13:29] | Well, I don’t. That’s why I’m having him do it. | 我不想 这就是我为什么要他做的原因 |
[13:33] | He’s undercover! | 他是个卧底 |
[13:35] | – That was supposed to be our secret, babe. – Wow, you are hot, | -这是个秘密 亲爱的 -你很性感 |
[13:38] | but you really are too dumb to be an assistant. | 但身为个助手 你没发言权 |
[13:40] | – Back to the lobby for you. – You lied to me. | -找准你的位置 -你骗了我 |
[13:46] | My real name is Stu. | 但我确实叫司徒 |
[13:48] | I am so disillusioned | 跟公司如此没有话语权的人一起 |
[13:51] | with the non-lobby section of this company. | 我幻想的泡沫就这样被击碎 |
[13:54] | I gotta say. | 我得说 |
[13:55] | I’ve never been that close to having sex with a woman that hot | 我从未有过就要把如此性感的女人搞到手 |
[13:58] | and then immediately just in a pile of donkeyshit. | 却立即跌入一堆驴屎中的经历 |
[14:02] | – So listen, Tim. – Yeah. | -听着 小炯 -是的 |
[14:03] | This was a major abuse of | 这是大肆滥用权力的事件 |
[14:04] | power and I’m going to have to punish you. | 我必须得惩罚你 |
[14:06] | Oh, I thought I lost my assistant. | 我觉得我失去了我的助手 |
[14:07] | Ah, yes, that and I need you to go out and get a cowboy outfit. | 是惩罚之一 你再去穿一身牛仔装回来 |
[14:11] | – Yeah. – I want you to ride around the office on the donkey | -好的 -你要在办公室一边穿着 |
[14:13] | all week wearing assless chaps and you’re going to be shouting, | 露屁屁皮套裤骑着小驴四处巡逻 |
[14:15] | “I’m the sheriff of Omnicorp.” And then you shoot your guns. | 一边大喊我是公司警长 然后开你的枪 |
[14:20] | – That’s gonna be embarrassing. – Exactly. | -会很尴尬啊 -没错 |
[14:23] | And that’s how you use a donkey to humiliate someone. | 这才叫做拿驴子来羞辱人 |
[14:27] | You do make it look easy. I’m not gonna lie. | 还是你高明些 我不想撒谎 |
[14:41] | – Hey, boss. – Wow, hey, | -嗨 梁总 -哇 嗨 |
[14:43] | is that Christian bale? Get in here, American psycho. | 这不是药家鑫吗 过来 药八刀 |
[14:46] | What kind of introduction is that? | 怎么这样形容我 |
[14:48] | You just look pretty sharp. | 你看上去很有型 |
[14:49] | Come have a seat. Make yourself comfortable. | 过来坐 随意点 |
[14:51] | – Ah. – Mm, not that comfortable. | -啊 -别太随意了 |
[14:53] | – Oh, sorry. – Listen, I’m having a party tomorrow | -抱歉 -我明天有个派对 |
[14:55] | – and I kind of want you to be there. – That’s great. | -希望你能去 -太好了 |
[14:57] | – What kind of party? – It’s like a divorce party. | -是什么样的派对 -离婚派对 |
[14:59] | Just like a super fun way of saying, | 就是用一种超好玩的方式说 |
[15:02] | “You’re out of here, you bitch.” | 你可以滚了 婊子 |
[15:04] | – That’s a mean-spirited party theme though. – Yeah. | -这个派对主题不善啊 -是的 |
[15:06] | – I’m gonna take the boat out and just– – Ah, the boat. | -我会把船开出海 -船啊 |
[15:08] | Just good friends and loose women. | 跟一些好朋友和开放女 |
[15:10] | That’s not really my speed. | 这不对我的口味 |
[15:11] | – I got a girlfriend. – What is your speed? | -我有女朋友了 -你的口味是什么 |
[15:13] | Tight women? | 保守女 |
[15:14] | Bad friends and tight women? | 坏朋友和保守女 |
[15:16] | If Stu and Rodney can go, I guess I’ll tag along. | 如果司徒和大鲁能去 我就一起去 |
[15:19] | They can come, but they’ve gotta be crew | 他们能去 但只能是船员 |
[15:21] | and they’ve gotta bring food. | 还要自带食物 |
[15:22] | That’s a little insulting, don’t you think? | 有点侮辱人啊 你不觉得吗 |
[15:24] | Well, I think they’d probably appreciate | 他们应该感激 |
[15:26] | the chance to be a couple of seamen. | 有做船员的机会 |
[15:29] | Gotta throw a seaman joke in. It’s a boat theme. | 得讲几个水手的笑话 派对开在船上 |
[15:33] | Not to get too sentimental, but the first year really was– | 我不想太感伤 但是结婚第一年真是 |
[15:37] | ah, it was magical, you know? | 是那么神奇 |
[15:39] | But the next 17… …Sucked balls. | 但是接下来的十七年 太他妈无聊了 |
[15:41] | Well, since we’re being honest, | 既然大家都坦诚相见了 |
[15:44] | I’ve had sex with the U.P.S. guy four times since labor day. | 劳动节后我就和快递小伙睡了四次 |
[15:48] | So have I. I was aware of your little affair | 我也和他睡了 我知道你出轨了 |
[15:51] | so I engaged in some gay sex with that dude too, | 于是我也和他断背了一下 |
[15:54] | – just to spite you. – Uh uh, okay okay. | -好来打击你 -好了 好了 |
[15:57] | Let’s keep it civilized. Are all the copies signed? | 大家保持文明 所有的复印件都签了吗 |
[16:00] | – Yes, I believe so. – Marriage over, bang done. | -我想是的 -离婚 搞定 |
[16:05] | If you’ll both just step outside, | 你们现在出去的话 |
[16:07] | the mediator will escort | 调解员会陪同你们 |
[16:08] | you to the townhouse to hand over the keys | 去别墅移交钥匙 |
[16:09] | – and transfer custody of the dog. – What is this? | -以及对狗的监护权 -这是什么意思 |
[16:12] | Okay, you’ve signed away Keith. | 你签字放弃吉斯了 |
[16:14] | – I most certainly never signed away Keith. – No, you did. | -我绝对肯定我没签 -不 你签了 |
[16:15] | – Listen, it’s part of the deal, okay? – What deal? | -这是协议的一部分 -什么协议 |
[16:17] | – The deal that we’ve made. – What have you done? | -我们做的协议 -你做了什么 |
[16:19] | – What did you do? – Listen, I know you’re upset. | -做了什么 -我知道你很生气 |
[16:21] | You can get another dog. | 你可以再买一条狗 |
[16:22] | Who is going to watch “Montel” With him? | 谁来陪他看《天天向上》 |
[16:23] | I-I don’t know. Irregardless– | 我 我不知道 不管如何 |
[16:26] | what does that even mean? “Irregardless” isn’t a word. | 这是什么意思 没有不管如何这个词 |
[16:28] | It’s a word. I went to law school. | 有这个词 我读过法学院 |
[16:29] | Would you just trust me, please? | 你就相信我 好吗 |
[16:31] | – Is there a problem? – No no. | -有问题吗 -没有 没有 |
[16:33] | Everything is great. | 一切都很好 |
[16:35] | All right, let’s go uptown, get you the doggie. | 好了 回别墅吧 把狗狗给你 |
[16:38] | Right? Okay, see you in 20 minutes. | 好吗 二十分钟后见 |
[16:40] | Nice being married to you. | 很高兴和你结过婚 |
[16:42] | Good afternoon, sir. I’ve got you headed uptown– | 下午好 先生 我们去别墅吗 |
[16:43] | Go! Drive fast now! Dick, pedal, foot, floor! Go! | 快开车 迪克 踩油门 加速 快 |
[16:50] | He’s so sweet. Daddy loves you. | 他是这么可爱 爹地爱你啊 |
[16:53] | Daddy loves you. He does. He does. | 爹地爱你 真的 真的 |
[17:00] | Oh, I wish I had a clown possy, | 要是再有个妞就好了 |
[17:01] | – ’cause this is gonna be insane. – Insane! | -因为这实在是太爽了 -太爽了 |
[17:04] | – I’m so psyched. – Who are you saying thank you to? | -我太兴奋了 -你该谢谢谁 |
[17:06] | – Thank you, Tim. – Timmy, | -谢谢你 小炯 -炯炯 |
[17:08] | – thank you! – Hey-hey, excuse me, um, | -谢谢 -嗨 打扰一下 |
[17:10] | is this the debauchery on the high “See-us” party? | 公海狂欢酒肉派对是在这里举行吗 |
[17:13] | – It is. – Yep! | -是在这 -是的 |
[17:14] | Weird pronunciation, but it is. | 发音很奇怪 但是这没错 |
[17:16] | Awesome. Let me tell you guys, | 太好了 跟你们说吧 |
[17:18] | I love to party. I really love to party and fuck people. | 我爱派对 我超爱派对和做爱 |
[17:21] | – What?! – Yeah, she does. | -什么 -是的 她超爱的 |
[17:22] | – Whoa, awesome. – Here’s the deal though– | -哇 太爽了 -但有件事得说声 |
[17:24] | we’re kind of gonna need some, like, snort snort. | 我们得去找点药抽抽 |
[17:29] | – Do I have time to run back– – Nasal decongestant? | -我能先回去 -鼻炎药 |
[17:32] | Do I have time to run back to my apartment? | 我能先回公寓一趟吗 |
[17:34] | I could grab some coke and rubbers and mints and stuff. | 我能去拿些可乐 套套和草药过来 |
[17:38] | We’re just hoping for a prompt departure, so. | 我们希望能准时开船 |
[17:40] | Actually, I think it’d be a great idea | 我觉得这主意挺好 |
[17:42] | if you guys went and got your stuff right away. | 你们快跑去拿你们的东西 |
[17:43] | – Okay. – You got plenty of time. Go go go go go. | -好 -你有大把时间 快快快 |
[17:45] | Okay, look at my ass move when I run away. | 好的 看我屁股奔跑时的样子 |
[17:47] | Okay, be right back. | 好了 马上回来 |
[17:49] | A prompt departure, Tim? | 准时开船 小炯 |
[17:50] | – What the hell is that, bro? – What’s wrong with that? | -那是什么鬼话 兄弟 -有问题吗 |
[17:52] | What are you? A middle school vice principal? | 你是中学副校长吗 |
[17:55] | Quick! Start the engines! Shiver me timbers! Shove off! | 快 发动马达 赶紧的 开船 |
[17:58] | What– hey, boss. What are– – | 啥 嗨 梁总 怎么了 |
[18:00] | It’s too early. It’s 9:30. No one’s here yet. | 还早呢 才九点半 人都还没到 |
[18:02] | Yeah, the girls are coming right back. | 是啊 那些女的马上就回来了 |
[18:03] | No no no, we’re all good. | 不不不 有我们就够了 |
[18:04] | We got everything we need. We | 不差什么了 |
[18:05] | got four dudes and a dog. You, you’re the captain. | 四个爷们和一条狗 你来当船长 |
[18:07] | – Turn it on. Go. – Me? I don’t know– | -开船 走人 -我 我不知道 |
[18:08] | – Stu? – Make boat go now, turn knobs, press buttons, engage. | -司徒 -快开船 按按钮 发动 |
[18:11] | – I don’t know what I’m doing here. – Stu’s– | -我不知道我在做什么 -司徒 |
[18:14] | pretend you’re a D.J. And those are all knobs to make music. Go! | 就像DJ一样 按下按钮放歌 快 |
[18:17] | – Okay. – Boss, boss, he– | -行 -梁总 梁总 他 |
[18:19] | he can’t drive this boat. | 他不会开船 |
[18:21] | – He’s doing it. – The boat’s moving, guys. | -他正上手呢 -船动起来了 伙计 |
[18:23] | – Here we go. – Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. | -来吧 -天呐 天呐 天呐 |
[18:25] | Guys, not to worry you, but we’re gonna die. | 大伙 我不是吓唬人 我们是会死的 |
[18:27] | Without those skanky chicks. | 还少了那些小骚货的陪伴 |
[18:32] | It’s been an hour. | 已经一个小时了 |
[18:33] | – Legally, we can hold him in contempt and sue. – Oh, no no no. | -我们可以起诉他藐视法律 -不不不 |
[18:36] | I’d rather get the dog than his money. | 我更想要他的狗 而不是钱 |
[18:38] | You ever seen him with that mongrel? | 看过他和那杂交狗在一起的样子吗 |
[18:40] | I can’t wait to put him up on eBay. | 我等不及把他拿到淘宝上卖了 |
[18:42] | I know I represent you, | 虽然我是你的代表 |
[18:43] | but you really are a very mean woman. | 但你真的是个狠毒的女人 |
[18:46] | I appreciate your business, | 我感激你请了我 |
[18:48] | But you’re– yeah. | 但你实在是 |
[18:54] | – Holy shit. – Oh, it’s over. | -我的妈呀 -完蛋了 |
[18:56] | – It’s finally over. – What a nightmare. | -终于完事了 -真是噩梦一场 |
[19:00] | I can’t believe I didn’t puke. | 真不敢相信我居然没吐 |
[19:01] | The puking is just about to start. | 还没到吐的时候呢 |
[19:03] | Here we go with the good times, right, everybody? | 咱们的美好时光还没开始呢 对吧大家 |
[19:06] | – Boss. – Dance it up with me, Stubin. | -老板 -和我舞起来 司徒仔 |
[19:08] | It’ll shake off the malaise. | 能让你甩掉一切不快 |
[19:10] | What is going on? | 到底神马情况啊 |
[19:11] | We’re dancing on the high seas! | 我们要在公海上狂舞 |
[19:12] | Why are we here, boss?! | 为啥我们要来这 老板 |
[19:15] | Why are we here? It’s such a mystery! | 为啥呢 真是个迷耶 |
[19:16] | Boss, you really sound like | 老板 听你说话感觉 |
[19:17] | – you’re on drugs. – Oh, come on. | -你真的像是吸了粉儿了 -得了吧你 |
[19:18] | Why did we race out here so fast? | 我们干嘛得跟火烧屁股似的来这啊 |
[19:20] | – Okay. – Tell us the truth. | -好吧 -跟我们说实话 |
[19:22] | You really– you want the truth, Tim? | 你 你真的想听实话 小炯 |
[19:25] | I– if that’s a setup for saying you can’t handle the truth, | 我 如果这是说你受不了真相设的话套 |
[19:27] | – I’m really gonna smack you. – You can’t– don’t– okay. | -我可真的会让你颜面尽失 -你受不 |
[19:30] | Here’s the deal. The lawyers wanted to take Keith from me. | 是这样 律师想要把吉斯从我身边夺走 |
[19:32] | I panicked O.J.-Style. | 我就像O.J辛普森一样慌了 |
[19:33] | You guys are all my Marcus Allen. | 你们就是我的马库斯·艾伦 |
[19:33] | 马库斯·艾伦同为橄榄球运动员 在九十年代是奥克兰突袭者队的四分卫 | |
[19:34] | I figured if we got to international waters, | 我觉着如果我们在国际公海 |
[19:36] | they legally couldn’t touch us. | 从法律上来说他们就拿我们没办法了 |
[19:37] | Bang, that’s it. | 砰 就这样 |
[19:39] | I heard the word O.J. | 我听见O.J这个词 |
[19:40] | I knew you couldn’t handle the truth. | 我就知道你受不了真相嘛 |
[19:42] | – This doesn’t make any sense, boss… – Oh my God. | -这完全没道理啊 老板 -天啊 |
[19:44] | …because we can’t live out here forever. | 因为我们又不能永远住在这里 |
[19:46] | Really? We can’t live on the boat forever? | 真的 我们不能永远住在这条船上 |
[19:48] | Sleeps six. | 这可以睡六个人呢 |
[19:49] | One, two, three, four, five. | 一 二 三 四 五 |
[19:50] | Boss, you’re getting crazier by the minute. | 老板 你真是越来越疯狂了 |
[19:52] | – Am I? We– – We’re not living out here. | -是吗 -我们不能在这过日子的 |
[19:54] | What? We don’t have a lot of shrimp to eat? | 凭什么 我们没有很多虾来吃吗 |
[19:57] | All right, now I’m listening. | 好了 现在我感兴趣了 |
[19:59] | Listen, we’re not going back. | 听着 我们不会回去的 |
[20:00] | They’re going to take Keith from me. | 他们会把吉斯从我身边夺走的 |
[20:01] | So we’re gonna try pirate life. | 所以我们要尝试过海盗的生活 |
[20:03] | – Oh my God. – That’s right. | -额滴神啊 -没错 |
[20:04] | It’s by far the worst boat trip you’ve hosted. | 这是你主办过的最差的海上活动了 |
[20:07] | There was the one where | 有两个小孩就在我们 |
[20:08] | those two kids died waterskiing behind us. | 身后的那片海域因为玩滑水给挂了 |
[20:10] | – That was pretty bad. – That was a tragedy. | -那确实挺惨的 -真是个杯具啊 |
[20:12] | That was their own fault. | 那都怪他们自己吧 |
[20:13] | Just letting it go | *随它流吧* |
[20:16] | Whenever I want… | *无论在哪* |
[20:18] | Dribbling all the way down my front | *任它我的前面奔流而下* |
[20:21] | I’m just a-pissing | *我在嘘嘘* |
[20:24] | Pissing at sea. | *在海里嘘嘘* |
[20:26] | What?! | 搞毛 |
[20:28] | What?! Hey, oh my God! | 搞 搞毛啊 我天啊 |
[20:30] | Oh, what is that? – Sorry, bro. | 搞什么 -抱歉 兄弟 |
[20:32] | Didn’t see you down there. | 没看见你在下面 |
[20:33] | Freedom is intoxicating. There’s no rules out here, | 令人陶醉的自由啊 这里无拘无束 |
[20:36] | – So I was just pissing wherever, you know? – No! | -所以我就遍地嘘嘘咯 -不 |
[20:38] | That’s a rule anywhere on the globe. | 这在全地球都是很没礼貌的 |
[20:40] | You don’t piss on people. | 你不能往人身上尿啊 |
[20:43] | Stu, you could at least go over the side. | 司徒 最起码你可以朝那边吐吧 |
[20:45] | Unlimited shrimp cocktail | 无限量的鲜虾鸡尾酒 |
[20:47] | is both a blessing and a curse. | 既是福也是祸啊 |
[20:49] | This– this is not working out for me at all. – | 这 这完全不适合我 |
[20:52] | Ah, fresh sea air. | 新鲜的海风 |
[20:55] | What’s up? | 怎么了 |
[20:57] | – Boss. – I’ll tell you what’s up. | -老板 -我来告诉你怎么了 |
[21:00] | That is a big-time nautical boner. | 这真是个航行中的大错误 |
[21:03] | Keith, look away. – | 吉斯 别往这看 |
[21:05] | – Can we have a talk? – Oh, a powwow. Shoot! | -我们能谈谈吗 -会谈 该死 |
[21:07] | Listen, I know– I know how you feel, boss, | 听着 我懂 我懂你对 |
[21:10] | about Keith. | 吉斯的感情 老板 |
[21:11] | But if you need to hide him from the lawyers, | 但是 如果你想在律师的眼皮子下藏他 |
[21:13] | – isn’t this serious overkill? – What exactly do you recommend? | -这是不是太过了 -你到底想说什么 |
[21:16] | I was thinking about it. Why don’t– | 我在想 为什么不 |
[21:18] | just tell the lawyers he died. How would they ever know? | 告诉律师他死了 他们又不可能知道 |
[21:22] | Well, I mean, he does– | 那 我是说 他 |
[21:23] | he does wear some pretty flamboyant Halloween costumes. | 他穿了一身蛮艳丽的万圣节服装 |
[21:25] | So don’t wear those anymore. Keep a low profile. | 那就别穿了呗 低调些 |
[21:29] | Get a carrying case or something. | 把他藏一手提箱里什么的就行了 |
[21:31] | That’s brilliant. | 太天才了 |
[21:31] | A carrying case. | 一个手提箱 |
[21:33] | See? Now I understand why Tim got the promotion. | 看见没 现在我知道为啥就小炯能升职 |
[21:36] | – Right. – This is easy stuff, guys. | -没错 -这事很简单 伙计们 |
[21:37] | Yeah, but most people would have fled to sea | 是啊 但是大多数人都会在海上漂泊 |
[21:39] | – and lived like a pirate. – Very few. | -像海盗一样生活 -很少有人会 |
[21:41] | I have a whole new respect for you, Timbo. | 我真是看清你的真面目了 小炯 |
[21:45] | Say ho! | 说 噢 |
[21:47] | This is so sad. | 这真是太让人伤心了 |
[21:48] | Can’t believe he’s gone. | 真不敢相信他就这么撒手人寰了 |
[21:50] | Keith, he was just like | 吉斯 他就像是我们这个 |
[21:52] | a part of our family. | 大家庭的一份子一样 |
[21:53] | Really fucking sad indeed. | 确实太他妈的让人悲伤了 |
[21:55] | He was a health code violation, but so cute. | 他就是一健壮的强奸犯 但是超可爱 |
[21:58] | Oh, the sadness. Oh the deep deep sadness. | 是很悲伤 真的真的很悲伤 |
[22:01] | Uh, well, I wanna thank everybody for showing up. | 感谢大家能出席 |
[22:03] | Now, uh, what do you think about getting back to work? | 现在嘛 大家应该回去工作了吧 |
[22:05] | Tim, hold up one quick second. | 小炯 你稍等一下 |
[22:07] | – Okay. – This idea of yours is the greatest thing ever. | -好的 -这是你出过的最好的点子了 |
[22:09] | Living on dry land? | 生活在大陆上这点子吗 |
[22:10] | Are you kidding? He loves it. | 你开玩笑吗 他超喜欢的 |
[22:11] | He’s got food, he’s got water, a DVD player. | 他有吃有喝能看碟 |
[22:13] | He’s in there right now watching | 他现在就在里面看 |
[22:14] | “Jean de Florette” and “Manon of the Spring,” | 《恋恋山城》和《恩怨情天》 |
[22:16] | the sequel with Emmanuelle Beart. | 的续集 就是艾曼纽·贝阿演的那部 |
[22:18] | He loves it! | 他超爱的 |
[22:19] | Yo, boss, this broad’s here to see you | 老板 这位从探索频道来的飞机场 |
[22:21] | from the Discovery Channel. | 要来见你 |
[22:22] | I’m sorry, that’s really inappropriate. | 抱歉 这真是太失礼了 |
[22:24] | Uh, this lady in a pantsuit’s | 这位从探索频道来的 |
[22:25] | here to see you from the Discovery Channel. | 穿西服套装的女士要见你 |
[22:27] | Okay. That’s a bit better. Can I help you? | 好的 这样好多了 有什么事吗 |
[22:29] | I’m Amy Gravitt, | 我是艾米·贾文特 |
[22:31] | line producer for “Extreme Animal Rescues.” | 《极限动物营救》的执行制片人 |
[22:32] | Oh, “Extreme Animal Rescues.” Right? | 《极限动物营救》 是吧 |
[22:35] | – Were you mocking me? – No. I love that. | -你在嘲笑我吗 -不 我超爱的 |
[22:37] | God, the voice of that, “Extreme!” | 天啊 那声极限吼的 |
[22:39] | I know this is difficult, | 我知道这很难 |
[22:41] | but we saw the transcript of your story over the police wire. | 但是我们看见了你的报警记录的文本文件 |
[22:43] | It sounds like a very dramatic rescue. | 听着是场非常有戏剧性的营救 |
[22:45] | Was it? No, he just kind of drowned from a– | 是吗 不是 他只是稍微溺了一下水 |
[22:48] | How could you not see the drama in it? | 你怎么能没看到戏剧张力呢 |
[22:50] | He saved your life. | 他救了你的命 |
[22:51] | My life? What did you tell them? | 我的命 你跟他们说什么了 |
[22:53] | – The truth. – Anyway, | -真相 -总之 |
[22:55] | we’d like to film a reenactment for our show. | 我们想在节目里播一段情景再现 |
[22:57] | – Oh no. – Would we have your permission? | -别介啊 -您能答应吗 |
[22:58] | I love this idea. I’m really flattered. | 我喜欢这主意 我真是受宠若惊啊 |
[23:00] | Well, fantastic. | 那就太好了 |
[23:02] | It actually would be a fitting tribute | 这真的是一件很合适的礼物 |
[23:03] | and it would let everyone | 而且能让所有人都 |
[23:04] | know that he is legally and officially dead. | 他已经正式的理论上的死了 |
[23:06] | – What do you mean? – Right, that did come out a bit weird. | -你什么意思 -也是 这么说很怪 |
[23:11] | I don’t know, guys, | 我说不好 伙计们 |
[23:13] | These actors seem kind of miscast to me. | 选角不对呀 |
[23:14] | That’s ridiculous. | 太荒唐了 |
[23:15] | Yeah, we look nothing like those guys. | 扮得一点也不像我们 |
[23:17] | They got these b actors to play us | 他们用替补演员演我们 |
[23:20] | and the boss is being played by Billy Dee Williams. | 却用比利·迪·威廉姆斯来演梁老大 |
[23:22] | Works every time. | 每次都这样 |
[23:24] | Actually, I’d love to go over some of these lines with you. | 我想和你对一下台词 |
[23:26] | I have one line I, uh– I say, “Not on my watch.” | 比如那句 “我不会坐视不管“ |
[23:28] | I was hoping you might say like, | 我希望你这样演出来 |
[23:30] | “Not on my watch!” | “我不会坐视不管” |
[23:32] | You know, sort of like, uh, Charlton- Hestony, you know… | 像查尔顿·赫斯唐尼那样 |
[23:34] | “Damn you, dirty apes!” | 像《人猿星球》那样演 |
[23:36] | Or maybe just like, uh, “As captain of this ship…” | 或像这样 “作为船长” |
[23:38] | “…I will not let you down, Timothy!” | “我有责任不让你淹死 小炯” |
[23:41] | – It’s a bit a little forced. – Oh, okay. | -有点太做作了 -好吧 |
[23:43] | Just a little. | 一点点而已 |
[23:44] | “As captain of this ship, I will not let you down, | “最为船长 我不会让你淹死的” |
[23:46] | – “Timothy!” – Yeah yeah, that’s good. | -“小炯” -很好 |
[23:48] | – “Not on my watch!” – Yeah, but more like, | -“我不会坐视不管” -最好这样 |
[23:50] | – “Not on my watch!” – “Not on my watch!” | -“我不会坐视不管” -“我不会坐视不管” |
[23:53] | Yeah, that’s a bit effeminate, Billy. | 太娘气了 比利 |
[23:55] | Quiet on the set, please. | 请保持安静 |
[23:56] | All right, let’s try one. And action. | 来试演一遍 开拍 |
[24:00] | Help. Help. | 救命 救命 |
[24:05] | I can’t swim. | 我不会游泳 |
[24:07] | Is he supposed to be me? | 他在演我吗 |
[24:09] | I can’t swim. I’m scared. | 我不会游泳 好怕怕 |
[24:12] | This guy’s the worst actor in history. | 他能评上史上最差演员了 |
[24:14] | Where’s he getting that voice from? | 他发的是什么声 |
[24:15] | – That’s the way you talk, bro. – That’s not the way I talk. | -你就是这么说话的 -才不是 |
[24:18] | – Mommy. – All right, cut cut. | -妈妈 -停拍 |
[24:20] | – What?! What? – Cut cut cut cut. | -什么情况 -停停停 |
[24:22] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
[24:23] | What happened? I call cut. I call cut. | 怎么回事 只有我能叫停拍 |
[24:25] | That’s just not the way it happened. | 他演得和事实不符 |
[24:27] | My voice isn’t that high. I never said mommy. | 我声音没那么尖细 我也没哭着喊妈 |
[24:30] | The dialogue is straight from the police report. | 对话是从警察报告上摘下来的 |
[24:31] | Well, can we at least lose the word mommy? | 能把”妈妈”这个词去掉吗 |
[24:34] | All right, fine. Lose mommy. | 好吧 别喊妈了 |
[24:36] | Let’s go again. Action. | 再来一次 开拍 |
[24:39] | Ah-hh, I’m drowning. | 我快淹死了 |
[24:43] | Why am I such a pussy? | 我怎么这样娘娘腔 |
[24:46] | This is ridiculous. You can’t say pussy on Animal Planet. | 真离谱 况且《动物星球》上不可能出现说这种字眼的 |
[24:50] | As captain of this ship, I will not let you drown, Timothy. | 作为船长 我有责任不会让你淹死的 |
[24:54] | – Not on my watch! – Not on his watch! | -我不会坐视不管 -他不会坐视不管 |
[24:57] | God, it’s so good. | 演得真棒 |
[25:00] | – All right, cut cut. – Again, you can’t call cut. | -停拍 -说过你不能叫停拍 |
[25:03] | – What’s your problem, man? – I don’t have a problem. | -你有什么意见 -我没意见 |
[25:05] | Was Tina Turner on the set of “What’s love got to do with it?” | 蒂娜·特纳有出演《与爱何干》吗 |
[25:08] | I don’t know, I wasn’t | 我不清楚 我不是… |
[25:10] | Telling Angela Bassett not to do the things | 叫安吉拉·贝塞特不要按照[前述电影的演员] |
[25:11] | that she was doing ’cause they were in the script? No! | 台词本上的来演吗 没有 |
[25:14] | Just– just try to be a better actor. | 就努力成为好一点的演员吧 |
[25:18] | Never in my three months of reenactment acting | 在我三个月的重演生涯中 |
[25:22] | have I been disrespected so much. Goodbye! | 我从没受过这么大的侮辱 不干了 |
[25:26] | Oh my God. | 天呐 |
[25:33] | I bet he wanted it a little more dramatic than that | 这就是他要的戏剧化效果 |
[25:35] | with the flippers on. | 穿着鸭脚板 |
[25:36] | the flippers make it a little silly. | 看着有点傻 |
[25:40] | Tim, thank you for doing this. I appreciate it. | 小炯 感谢帮了我大忙 |
[25:42] | The show must go on, right? | 这片一定要继续拍下去对吧 |
[25:44] | I know we had some tension but I just wanted to, you know, | 我们先前有些不合 我是想 |
[25:47] | just reach out and say thank you. | 道一声感谢 |
[25:48] | – That’s very cool of you. – Cool cool. | – 很贴心 – 好 |
[25:50] | Let’s lock it down. All right. | 让我们搞定这幕 |
[25:51] | Drag it out. Lock it down. | 准备开拍 |
[25:53] | – Okay, cool. We got three bells. – Those aren’t phrases. | -我们有三声铃响 -这和前两句话不对称 |
[25:56] | What’s that now? | 你想表达什么 |
[25:57] | Okay, I’m sorry. I will stop that. | 抱歉 我现在就闭嘴 |
[25:59] | All right, we got stuntdogs in place. OK, here we go. | 小狗就位 准备 |
[26:02] | And action. | 开拍 |
[26:06] | All right, Keith, I know these are rough seas, | 吉斯 海上虽波涛汹涌 |
[26:08] | but I’ve done battle with worse. | 但这种危险我见多了 |
[26:10] | You will not die here, not today, not on this open sea. | 你今时今日不会有事的 |
[26:14] | Grab onto my strong arms. | 抓住我强健的手臂吧 |
[26:16] | Timmy’s performance is actually moving me. | 小炯演得真感人 |
[26:18] | But he’s kind of overacting. I mean, come on. | 他太抢戏了 |
[26:21] | – This is ridiculous. – He’s killing it. | -这样不对 -演得真好 |
[26:23] | The dog should have all the lines. | 他抢了狗的戏份 |
[26:25] | And big climax now. Go for it! | 现在是剧情高潮 加把劲 |
[26:27] | We’re gonna swim to safety. Here we go. Come on, Keith. | 我们一起游去安全的地方 吉斯 |
[26:30] | Come on, Keith. | 加油 吉斯 |
[26:32] | Keith! Come on, Keith. | 吉斯 加把劲 吉斯 |
[26:37] | There’s Keith. | 真的吉斯来了 |
[26:41] | Did he come back from the dead? | 它死而复生了吗 |
[26:44] | What kind of messed-up person would stage his own dog’s death | 什么恶人会让自己的狗假死 |
[26:47] | just to get on “Extreme Animal Rescues”?! | 就为了上《极限动物营救》节目吗 |
[26:49] | – Are you referring to me? – Yes, I am… | -你指我吗 -正是 |
[26:52] | Crazy, creepy fuck. | 你是个讨厌的疯子 |
[26:56] | I’m extreme though. | 至少我很极端 |
[26:58] | This is a waste of time. Let’s shut this down. | 浪费时间 关机 |
[27:02] | That was a poorly timed use of the extreme voice. | 他这时候不该用这种腔调说话 |
[27:08] | Hey, boss, everything good? | 老大 一切还好吗 |
[27:11] | Good? | 好 |
[27:12] | Everything good? | 一切还好吗 |
[27:13] | Than-thanks to you and your overacting | 拜你过剩的表演欲所赐 |
[27:16] | I’m being prosecuted by the police for lying to them. | 我被警方指控撒谎 |
[27:19] | My wife has left | 我妻子离开了我 |
[27:21] | and taken the only thing that matters to me– Keith. | 还带走了我唯一的珍宝吉斯 |
[27:24] | Right. And worst of all, | 最糟糕的是 |
[27:27] | I am no longer on the list | 我不再是比利·迪·威廉姆斯 |
[27:30] | to Billy Dee Williams’ celebrity pig roast. | 名人烤猪宴会的受邀宾客了 |
[27:34] | He does a celebrity pig roast? | 他有办名人烤猪宴会 |
[27:37] | These shabby shoes I’m wearin’ all the time | *麻衣破鞋伴着我* |
[27:41] | is full of holes and nails. | *走过风雨许多年* |
[27:45] | And, brother, if I stepped on a worn out dime | *倘若踩到五角币* |
[27:49] | I bet a nickel I could tell you if it was heads or tails. | *五分赌它正或反* |
[27:53] | I’m not gonna worry wrinkles in my brow, | *满脸褶子不用愁* |
[27:58] | ’cause nothing’s ever gonna be alright nohow. | *天掉馅饼是空想* |
[28:02] | No matter how I struggle and strive, | *发愤努力白劳碌* |
[28:06] | I’ll never get out of this world alive. | *老天从來不赏光* |