| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | – Hey, buddy. – Hi, Uncle Charlie. | -伙计 -查理 |
| [00:03] | – Ready for a fun weekend? -He’s not gonna have a fun weekend. | -又一个精彩的周末即将来临啦! -他这周末不会精彩的 |
| [00:07] | Charlie, he’s gonna study for a history test on Monday. | 查理 他该为周一的历史考试努力 |
| [00:10] | Well, if believing that gets you back in your car, I’ll play along. | 怪不得 你回车里去吧 我自己慢慢玩儿 |
| [00:14] | – Where’s Alan? – He’s not here. | -艾伦呢 -他不在 |
| [00:16] | Really? I told him I was on my way. | 真的吗? 我告诉他我在路上了 |
| [00:18] | That might be why he’s not here. | 可能他就是因为这才不在吧 |
| [00:20] | Okay, I’ll just have to go over everything with you. | 好吧 那我就把所有事都交代给你 |
| [00:23] | I’m gonna visit my parents. | 我要去我父母家待几天 |
| [00:25] | I won’t pick Jake up till Wednesday. Alan has to take him to school. | 我周三才能来接杰克 所以说你们得送他去学校 |
| [00:28] | Monday is soccer practice. | 周一是足球队练习 |
| [00:30] | He has his math tutor and his guitar teacher on Tuesday… | 周二下午… 他有数学补习和吉他课 |
| [00:33] | Hang on. Hang on. | 等 等会儿 |
| [00:44] | Oh, hi, Judith. | 嗨 朱蒂丝 |
| [00:46] | Alan, why are you avoiding me? | 艾伦 你为什么对我避而不见 |
| [00:49] | – I’m not avoiding you as much as… – Hiding. | -与其说我对你避而不见 不如说是 -躲着 |
| [00:54] | – Thank you. – Why were you hiding? | -谢谢 -你为什么躲着我 |
| [00:57] | Why does the wounded gazelle hide from the stealthy jaguar? | 为什么受伤的瞪羚 要躲开饥肠辘辘的美洲虎 |
| [01:02] | Why does the helpless piglet hide from ravenous wolverine? | 为什么无助的小猪 又要躲着不怀好意的狼獾 |
| [01:07] | Animal Planet. | 动物星球嘛 (探索频道的节目) |
| [01:10] | You learn a lot. | 我们可以学到很多 |
| [01:13] | We need to talk about your pain-in-the-ass mother. | 我们得谈谈你那人见人厌的妈 |
| [01:15] | You know, I would love to… | 你知道的 我很乐意跟你谈 |
| [01:17] | …but as Charlie told you, I’m not here. | 但是就像查理跟你说的 “我不在这” |
| [01:19] | I let her take Jake out to dinner. | 我让她带杰克去吃饭 |
| [01:21] | She brought him home and she lectured me for 15 minutes about his dirty ears. | 她带他回来时 为他的耳朵脏教育了我15分钟 |
| [01:25] | – Fifteen minutes, huh? – How long is this gonna take? | -15分钟 -你说的也不短啊 |
| [01:28] | Like I’m a bad parent. | 我是个坏妈妈 |
| [01:29] | Let her try and get a Q-Tip in a squirming 11 -year-old boy’s ear. | 她倒是给我点清洗 11岁小男生耳朵的温馨小贴士呀 |
| [01:33] | Mom didn’t believe in Q-Tips. She had a squirt gun. | 我妈可不相信温馨小贴士 她相信枪杆子底下出政权 |
| [01:36] | You know, the woolly meerkat of western Africa… | 据说西非雌性海岛猫鼬 会把幼崽埋在颈边 |
| [01:39] | …buries her cubs up to their necks and licks their ears clean. | 将他们的耳朵舔干净 |
| [01:44] | What? It seemed apropos. | 干嘛 我在书里看到的 |
| [01:46] | If she wants to spend time with her grandson… | 你得告诉你妈 她想和孙子玩的话 |
| [01:49] | …she needs to back off. – Okay, I’ll tell her. | -…就得知道分寸 -好的 我会告诉她的 |
| [01:51] | – Thank you. – I’ll tell Alan you stopped by. | -谢谢 -我会告诉艾伦你来过 |
| [02:04] | Okay, Lewis and Clark explored what? | 好 路易斯和克拉克探险出了什么 |
| [02:08] | – I don’t remember. – You just read that chapter. | -我记不得了 -你读过那章的 |
| [02:11] | Yeah, but Lewis and Clark was a long time ago. | 对 但路易斯和克拉克 可是很久以前的人 |
| [02:16] | Thanks for the ride, Sally. | 萨莉 谢谢你让我搭顺风车… |
| [02:19] | And for getting me home too. | 以及送我回家 |
| [02:23] | – Why is that funny? – It’s not. | －什么那么好笑? －不好笑 |
| [02:27] | Mustang Sally, giddyup. | 人如其车 “野马”萨莉 |
| [02:31] | Now, Lewis and Clark. | 来 路易斯和克拉克 |
| [02:33] | Face it, Dad, I’m just not good at history. | 爸 我真的不擅长历史 |
| [02:36] | Really? What did you have for lunch yesterday? | 真的吗? 你昨天午饭吃了什么? |
| [02:39] | A pizza square. Actually, two pizza squares, a ice cream sandwich… | 一块披萨 其实是两块披萨 一个夹心冰淇淋 |
| [02:42] | …and a bag of Skittles. – Okay, see, that’s history. | -还有包彩虹糖 -好 看见了吗 |
| [02:45] | And a Ding Dong and a diet root beer. | 还有叮咚和怡建根汁汽水 |
| [02:48] | – Great. – Wait. It wasn’t a Ding Dong. | -很好 -等一下 不是叮咚 |
| [02:50] | – It was a Ho Ho. – Got it. | -是吼吼 (糖果) -收到 |
| [02:54] | You know what I like? Those big, pink things with coconut. | 你知道我喜欢吃啥吗? 那些粉红色的椰子味东西 |
| [02:58] | – Snow Balls? – Exactly. Can you still get those? | -雪球汽水? -没错 现在还有那玩意吗 |
| [03:02] | Yeah, but not at the supermarket. You have to go to 7-Eleven. | 有 但是超市里没有 得去7-11 |
| [03:05] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [03:07] | Alan, will you drive me to 7-Eleven? | 艾伦 你载我去7-11好吗? |
| [03:11] | No, we are trying to study. | 不行 我们在学习 |
| [03:13] | All right, I’ll hoof it. | 好吧 那我走路去 |
| [03:16] | – Can I bring you back something? – Ding Dong. | -你要我给你带什么吗? -叮咚 |
| [03:18] | Who’s there? | 谁敲门啊? |
| [03:20] | I’m trying to get him ready for his test. | 查理 我在帮他复习考试 |
| [03:23] | Sorry. Sorry. You go ahead. I’ll pretend I’m not here. | 抱歉 你们继续 我就假装我不在这 |
| [03:29] | Okay, Lewis and Clark explored what? | 好 路易斯和克拉克探险出了什么 |
| [03:33] | Louisiana Purchase. | 购买了路易斯安那州 |
| [03:37] | – Right. – I knew that. | -对 -我也知道啊 |
| [03:39] | Yeah, but Uncle Charlie buzzed first. | 对 但是查理叔叔先按铃的 |
| [03:41] | And I’m still buzzed. | 我现在耳边还嗡嗡响不停呢 |
| [03:45] | – Okay, give me another question. – All right. | -好吧 再给我个问题 -好 |
| [03:49] | Seward’s Folly is another name for? | “西瓦德的蠢事”是什么的别称? (Seward’s Folly) |
| [03:52] | – Jake? – Alaska. | -杰克 -阿拉斯加 (西瓦德买下寒冷的Alaska被称为蠢事) |
| [03:53] | – Very good. – Oh, I was gonna say Mrs. Seward. | -非常好 -我还想说是西瓦德夫人呢 |
| [04:00] | Okay, the score is 1 to 1. | 一比一平 |
| [04:02] | Now that you mention it… | 说到这 |
| [04:04] | …an Eskimo Pie would go down pretty good right now. | 再来个阿拉斯加派就完美了 |
| [04:07] | Alan, will you drive me to 7-Eleven? | 艾伦 你载我去7-11好吗? |
| [04:11] | No, next question: | 不行 下一题 |
| [04:13] | – The War of 1812… – 1812. | -1812年的战争… -是1812年 |
| [04:17] | – No. – 1813. | -不对 -1813年 |
| [04:21] | Let me finish the question. | 让我念完题目 |
| [04:22] | The War of 1812 was fought against whom? | 1812年的战争是和谁打的 |
| [04:25] | – The British. – Very good, 2 to 1, Jake. | -英国 -非常棒 杰克二比一 |
| [04:27] | – Yes. – No fair. My buzzer’s broken. | -棒极了 -不公平 我的抢答器坏了 |
| [04:32] | – Next question. – Let me try yours. | -下一题 -让我用一下你的 |
| [04:37] | See? His works. | 看见了吗? 他的没坏 |
| [04:43] | All right, contestants, we are at the final round. | 选手们 最后一轮 |
| [04:46] | The questions are worth more. | 问题的分值更高 |
| [04:47] | – And the answers are harder. – True. | -也更难回答 -这倒是 |
| [04:53] | – Wait for a question. – Okay. | -还没念题目呢 -好吧 |
| [04:56] | Here we go. Name three changes in American life… | 来 说出工业革命… |
| [05:00] | …brought about by the industrial revolution. | …带给美国生活的三大变革 |
| [05:03] | Populations shift to cities, employment moving from farms to factories, and… | 人口向城市转移 种植业从农场转型到工厂 还有… |
| [05:10] | – Yes? – Sorry, I hit it by mistake. | -什么? -抱歉 我不小心按的 |
| [05:15] | – Settlement of the West. – That’s correct. | -在西方世界占有一席之地 -完全正确 |
| [05:18] | – You are our new champion. – Yes. | -新一届冠军产生了! -爽 |
| [05:20] | Settlement of the West. | 在西方世界占有一席之地 |
| [05:22] | You see, Jake? You know this stuff. | 杰克 看见了吗? 你懂这些东西的 |
| [05:25] | Yeah, I guess I do. | 对 我也觉得 |
| [05:26] | – Trust me, you are gonna do great. – Yeah, thanks, Dad. | -相信我 你考试会很棒的 -嗯 谢谢老爸 |
| [05:30] | You’re welcome. Now go get ready for bed. | 不用客气 准备睡觉吧 |
| [05:32] | – I’ll be there in a minute to tuck you in. – Okey-dokey. | -我一会就过去 -好哟 |
| [05:43] | Oh, I gotta get a security camera. | 我得装个摄像头了 |
| [05:47] | Where’s your brother? I wanna talk to him. | 你弟弟在哪? 我要和他谈谈 |
| [05:49] | – He’s not here. – Oh, really? | -他不在 -真的吗? |
| [05:52] | No, he’s actually not here. | 不 他真的不在 |
| [05:55] | You know what his ex-wife said to me? | 你知道他前妻说我什么了吗? |
| [05:57] | Mom, please go away. | 妈 请你走开吧 |
| [05:59] | She never calls me “Mom,” but that was the gist of it. | 她从来没叫过我妈 不过也就是那样了 |
| [06:03] | I took Jake out to dinner… | 我带杰克出去吃饭 |
| [06:04] | – You’re pretending not to understand me. – Right. | -你装作没听懂我说话 对吗? -对 |
| [06:07] | And all I did was suggest to Judith… | 我只是建议朱蒂丝 |
| [06:09] | …that she might wanna pay a little more attention to her son’s ear hygiene. | 多关心一下她儿子的耳屎 |
| [06:14] | Not only was she completely unappreciative… | 她不但一点都不领情 |
| [06:16] | …but she had the nerve to denigrate how I raised my sons. | 她还开始质疑我养自己儿子的方式 |
| [06:20] | Yeah, because we turned out so well. | 对 因为我们听的非常清楚 |
| [06:23] | Excuse me, but whatever emotional issues you think you have… | 抱歉 但是不管你们有什么不爽 |
| [06:27] | …I kept your ears spotless. | 我总是让你们的耳朵干净闪亮 |
| [06:31] | I remember. You used the same Super Soaker… | 我记得的 你用擦过家具的棉签 |
| [06:33] | …to keep us off the furniture. | 给我们掏 |
| [06:35] | Ladies and gentlemen… | 女士们先生们 |
| [06:37] | …presenting noted scholar and A-student, Jake Harper. | 上场的是著名学者 A等生 杰克·哈勃 |
| [06:45] | – You got an A? – I got an A. | -你得了A? -我得A了 |
| [06:47] | – All right. Way to go. – Congratulations, Jake. | -不错 干的好 -祝贺你 杰克 |
| [06:50] | Thanks. It’s my first A this year. | 谢谢奶奶 这是我今年得的第一个A |
| [06:53] | Really? Well, it’s none too soon then. | 真的吗? 这可不算快啊 |
| [06:55] | – Mom, leave it alone. – I’m not saying anything. | -妈 别烦他了 -我什么都没说啊 |
| [06:58] | I think it’s wonderful. Did anybody else in your class get an A? | 我觉得他很棒 你们班里还有人得A吗 |
| [07:01] | Almost everybody. Why? | 差不多全班都是吧 怎么了? |
| [07:03] | Oh, I was just curious as to how hard the test was. | 我只是有点好奇那个考试有多难 |
| [07:05] | It doesn’t matter, Mom. Still an A. | 没关系 妈 那也是A啊 |
| [07:07] | An A is very nice. I just don’t know why you’re making such a big fuss… | 得A是好事 我只是不懂你们怎么搞的很隆重 |
| [07:11] | …if they’re just handing them out like rubella vaccinations. | 搞得象革命成功后 庆祝吊死战犯似的 |
| [07:15] | I don’t know. It looks like a pretty hard test to me. | 考试看起来很难啊 |
| [07:18] | – No, it was easy. – That’s because you studied. | -没有 很简单的 -那是因为你学习了 |
| [07:21] | – You earned that A. – Wendy Chow got an A-plus. | -你努力了才得到那个A的 -温妮·周的了A+ |
| [07:23] | You hear that? Wendy Chow got an A-plus. | 听见了吗? 温妮·周得了A+ |
| [07:26] | Wendy Chow is a freak of nature. | 温妮·周是个怪胎 |
| [07:28] | She cloned a goldfish for the science fair. | 她为科技展克隆了条金鱼 |
| [07:31] | We can’t compare Jake to her. | 我们不能拿杰克和她相比 |
| [07:33] | Who should we compare him to then? The paste eaters and the unibrows? | 那应该拿他比谁呢? 那些歪瓜裂枣的脏小孩? |
| [07:37] | Darling, if you set the bar low in childhood… | 亲爱的 如果从小就定低标准的话 |
| [07:40] | …he may never reach the heights he’s capable of. | 是无法发挥出他的潜能的 |
| [07:43] | You’re condemning him to a life of failure and mediocrity. | 你在引导他走向 一个失败的人生 碌碌无为 |
| [07:46] | Is that what you want, Jake? A life of failure and mediocrity? | 那是你想过的生活吗 杰克? 失败的人生 碌碌无为? |
| [07:51] | No. | 不想 |
| [07:53] | You see? He may well be sharper than you give him credit for. | 看见了吗? 他可能比你想的还聪明 |
| [07:58] | I’m gonna go to my room. | 我回房间了 |
| [08:01] | I am putting that A-paper up on the fridge. | 我把你得A的卷子放在冰箱上啊 |
| [08:03] | Wow. Texas used to be a separate country. | 德克萨斯曾经是个独立的国家 |
| [08:10] | Why did we change that? | 我们为什么要把它并过来啊 |
| [08:13] | Not now, Charlie. How dare you? | 不是现在 查理 你怎么敢 |
| [08:16] | – Excuse me? – He worked hard on that test. | -什么? -他很努力地准备那个考试 |
| [08:18] | He was finally feeling good about himself and his abilities… | 他终于对自己和自己的能力有了信心 |
| [08:22] | …and in 30 seconds you managed to suck… | 但没几分钟… |
| [08:24] | …every bit of self-esteem out of him. You’re like a… | 你就把他自尊心全毁了 你就象是个… |
| [08:27] | – A self-esteem sucker. – Yes, exactly. | -自尊心毁灭者 -对 完全正确 |
| [08:31] | Alan, I was just having a conversation with the boy. | 我只是和那孩子聊了一下 |
| [08:34] | No. No, you don’t have conversations. You… | 不 你不是聊了一下 你… |
| [08:36] | Suck self-esteem. | 摧毁自尊心 |
| [08:41] | I would’ve gotten it. | 我能想起来的 |
| [08:43] | Mom, I am sorry, but I don’t think I want you around my son anymore. | 妈 我很抱歉 但是我不希望你再来找我儿子了 |
| [08:49] | – What? – You heard me. | -什么? -你听见了 |
| [08:51] | You will not do to him… | 我不会让你对我和查理做的事… |
| [08:52] | …what you did to me and Charlie. – What did I do to you? | -…在他身上重演 -我对你和查理做了什么? |
| [08:55] | What did you do? What did she…? Charlie, tell her. | 你做了什么? 查理 跟她说 |
| [09:01] | Why tell her when we can show her? | 何须言语? 我们就是活证据 |
| [09:09] | I see. So you’re both turning against me. | 我懂了 那么你们俩都反对我咯? |
| [09:13] | Oh, I turned a long time ago. | 我很早以前就是了 |
| [09:16] | Alan’s just catching up. | 而艾伦刚醒悟 |
| [09:20] | All right, fine. | 好吧 很好 |
| [09:23] | If I’m not welcome here… | 既然我在这不受欢迎 |
| [09:26] | …I’ll leave. | 那我就走 |
| [09:33] | My own sons are throwing me out. | 我的亲生儿子把我赶出去 |
| [09:40] | Goodbye. | 再见 |
| [09:43] | This isn’t over, is it? | 还没完 是吧? |
| [09:46] | No, we’re screwed. | 没有 我们完了 |
| [09:57] | Let me guess. Mom? | 我猜猜 是妈 |
| [09:59] | She’s been calling all morning. I’m starting to feel guilty. | 她一整个早上都在打 我已经感觉有点愧疚了 |
| [10:02] | You can’t show weakness, Alan. She’ll sense it. | 艾伦你不能心软 她会察觉到的 |
| [10:06] | Like the hooded cobra senses the rapid heartbeat… | 就像眼镜蛇会察觉到 |
| [10:09] | …of a panic-stricken kangaroo rat. | 受惊更格卢鼠不安的心跳 (此鼠多产于北美沙漠) |
| [10:13] | But don’t you feel even a bit sorry for her? | 但你一点都没觉得愧对她吗 |
| [10:15] | Does the mongoose feel sorry for the wounded garden-snake? | 猫鼬会为受伤的乌梢蛇感到愧疚吗 |
| [10:20] | Does the dingo feel sorry for the slow-crawling Australian baby? | 野狗会因为小孩爬得慢就留情吗? |
| [10:26] | – You guys okay? – Oh, yeah, yeah. | -你们还好吧 -没事啊 |
| [10:29] | We’re fine. Why? | 我们很好 怎么了 |
| [10:31] | Your mother just called me. She said she’s been trying to reach you… | 你妈打电话给我说她一早上 都打不通这的电话 |
| [10:34] | …all morning and she’s very worried. | 她很担心 |
| [10:36] | – We’re fine, Rose. – We’re not talking to her. | -我们没事 罗斯 -我们只是不想跟她说话 |
| [10:39] | Why? Because she tried to encourage Jake to live up to his potential? | 为什么? 就因为她鼓励 杰克去开发自己的潜力吗? |
| [10:43] | That’s a reason to throw her out and slam the door in her face? | 为了这个就把她赶出去 对她闭门不见吗? |
| [10:48] | How could you be so cruel to your own mother? | 你们怎么能 对自己的母亲那么残酷呢? |
| [10:52] | And the dingo has found another Australian baby. | 野狗又找到另一个澳大利亚小孩了 |
| [10:57] | Rose, that’s not what happened. | 罗斯 不是你听说的那样 |
| [10:59] | We were protecting Jake. | 我们是在保护杰克 |
| [11:01] | How? By ripping his only grandmother out of his life? | 怎么保护? 把他唯一的奶奶赶出他的生活吗? |
| [11:05] | – He has another grandmother. – Oh, right, the Sacramento pill-freak. | -他还有外婆啊 -对 还有那个萨克拉门托的瘾君子 |
| [11:09] | Is that what she told you? | 她这么跟你说的吗? |
| [11:11] | For the record, Jake’s other grandmother… | 事实上 杰克的外婆… |
| [11:13] | …is out of rehab and doing just fine. | 正在戒毒 而且进展顺利 |
| [11:17] | We appreciate your concern, Rose. Thanks for stopping by. | 很感谢你的关心 罗斯 谢谢你来一趟 |
| [11:21] | So now you’re just gonna slam the door in my face? | 那现在你又要冲着我关门吗 |
| [11:24] | Pretty much. | 太对了 |
| [11:28] | Not as satisfying with a glass door. | 玻璃门没什么效果 |
| [11:32] | Okay, first she starts with the phone calls… | 她先是打电话 |
| [11:34] | …then she sent Rose over. I wonder what’s next. | 然后把罗斯叫过来 下一招呢 |
| [11:36] | I don’t know, but I’m betting it’ll be something big. | 我也不知道 不过我打赌肯定不会小 |
| [11:43] | Right. I understand, it’s terrible. | 对 我知道那很糟 |
| [11:47] | Okay, let me see what I can do about it. | 我看看我能做点什么吧 |
| [11:50] | How in the hell did your mother get my cell phone number? | 可恶 你妈怎么弄到我手机号的? |
| [11:59] | Sometimes, when the nest is threatened… | 当发现自己的巢受到威胁 |
| [12:01] | … the seemingly docile creatures have been known to eat their own young. | 此类看似无声息的生物 会吃了自己的崽 |
| [12:06] | Hey, did Mom call you at the office today? | 妈今天打电话到你办公室了吗? |
| [12:09] | No, she call here? | 没有 她打这了吗? |
| [12:11] | – No, it’s been pretty quiet. – Yeah, maybe too quiet. | -没有 很安静 -安静得出奇 |
| [12:16] | And here we see the female praying-mantis… | 我们看到雌性螳螂交配完毕 |
| [12:18] | … after copulation, devouring her mate. | 就会吃掉雄性 |
| [12:22] | Your ex-wife back from her parents’? | 你前妻回娘家去了? |
| [12:26] | Yeah, I dropped Jake off with her this afternoon. | 对啊 今天下午我得去接杰克 |
| [12:28] | Apparently her mom had a little relapse with the pills. | 因为她妈又开始嗑药了 |
| [12:31] | – Oh, yeah? – They found her in pajamas… | -是吗? -她穿着睡衣幻想… |
| [12:33] | …driving an imaginary car through the home and garden section of Wal-Mart. | 开着车 在沃尔玛家居园艺区闲逛 |
| [12:38] | How could they tell if she was driving an imaginary car? | 他们怎么能肯定这车是她的幻觉 |
| [12:41] | She rolled down the window to ask for directions to the pharmacy. | 她摇下车窗 问该如何开往药店 |
| [12:49] | – Here we witness the… – Not Mom. | -这里我们目击到… -不是老妈 |
| [12:53] | Hello? Yeah, this is Charlie Harper. | 喂 对 我是查理·哈勃 |
| [12:56] | What? I see. | 什么? 我知道了 |
| [12:59] | Okay, then. Thanks for letting me know. | 谢谢你通知我 |
| [13:02] | – Who was that? – St. John’s Hospital. | -谁打来的? -圣约翰医院 |
| [13:04] | Our mother checked in this evening with chest pains and breathing difficulties. | 看起来今晚老妈 因胸痛和呼吸困难而住院 |
| [13:08] | – Oh, my God. – Ever wonder who was the first guy… | -天哪! -我一直在想第一个 |
| [13:11] | …to put pineapple on pizza? | 把菠萝加入匹萨的的人是谁 |
| [13:16] | I bet he was gay. | 我打赌那人是同性恋 |
| [13:19] | – Charlie… – No straight guy is gonna say: | -查理… -没有一个直男会说 |
| [13:22] | “You know what this pizza could use? A pineapple ring.” | “匹萨上放什么呢? 菠萝圈” |
| [13:27] | God bless him. It’s good. | 上帝保佑他 这真好吃 |
| [13:29] | Charlie, is Mom okay? | 查理 妈妈还好吧? |
| [13:31] | Of course she’s okay. She’s faking. | 她当然没事了 她装的 |
| [13:33] | – How can you be so sure? – It really doesn’t make any difference. | -你怎么能这么确定呢? -都一样的 |
| [13:37] | If she is faking and we rush to see her, she wins. | 如果她是装的话 我们赶去看她 那她就赢了 |
| [13:41] | If she’s not faking, and we ignore her… | 如果她没装 我们又没去看她的话 |
| [13:43] | …she complains about what horrible sons we are… | 她就可以抱怨我们是多么无情无义 |
| [13:45] | …and she still wins. | 那还是她赢 |
| [13:47] | What if she’s not faking and she dies? | 那如果她不是装的 她死了呢? |
| [13:50] | Well, look at you, Mr. Glass Half-Full. | 看看你 一知半解先生 |
| [13:56] | I can’t help thinking this is all my fault. | 我忍不住想都是我的错 |
| [13:58] | I told Mom she couldn’t see her grandson and she had a heart attack. | 我不让她看孙子 然后她伤心欲绝 以致心脏病发作 |
| [14:01] | Alan, you forget who you’re dealing with. | 艾伦 你忘了那是谁了 |
| [14:04] | This woman buried two husbands and divorced two others. | 她亲手葬了两任丈夫 还离了两次婚 |
| [14:06] | She’s lived through wars, riots, earthquakes. | 她经历过战乱 动荡 还有地震 |
| [14:09] | Only way you’re gonna bring her down is with a stake dipped in holy water. | 你能毁掉她的唯一办法就是 象做牛排样把她放进油锅里 |
| [14:14] | Here we are. | 到了 |
| [14:19] | Oh, my God. Mommy? | 天哪! 妈咪 |
| [14:23] | Excuse me? | 打扰一下 |
| [14:24] | – Are you family? – Yeah, we’re her sons. | -你们是她家人吗? -对 我们是她儿子 |
| [14:27] | Is she gonna be okay? Tell me she’s gonna be okay. | 医生 她会怎么样? 请告诉我她会没事的 |
| [14:29] | Your mother’s gonna be fine. I can’t find a thing wrong with her. | 你们母亲会没事的 我给她做了检查 她没有任何问题 |
| [14:33] | – Are you sure? – As sure as I can be. | -你确定? -非常确定 |
| [14:35] | Her heart’s fine. Lungs are fine. | 她的心脏没事 肺没事 |
| [14:36] | Blood chemistry’s good. EEG’s normal. | 验血结果很好 脑电图也很正常 |
| [14:38] | – Oh, thank God. – That bitch. | -谢天谢地 -那个贱人 |
| [14:43] | Yeah, tell me about it. | 没错 可不是吗 |
| [14:45] | Excuse me. I’m gonna tell her she can go home. | 那失陪一下 我去跟她说她可以出院了 |
| [14:48] | – Oh, no, please, let us. – Yeah, we owe her that. | -不用了 我们去说吧 -我们欠她的 |
| [14:51] | Suit yourself. Oh, better hurry, though. | 请自便 最好快点 |
| [14:54] | The nurses are circulating a”do not revive” petition. | 护士正在宣传”不要出院” |
| [14:58] | – You said there was nothing wrong. – It’s a big hospital. | -你是说她有什么问题吗? -医院林子大了 |
| [15:02] | Things happen. | 什么鸟都有啊 |
| [15:06] | What do we do now? | 我们现在怎么办? |
| [15:08] | Don’t worry. I got a plan. | 别担心 我已胸有成竹 |
| [15:11] | Oh, great, he has a plan. | 好吧 你胸有成竹 |
| [15:17] | Mom? | 妈 |
| [15:19] | Charlie? Is that you? | 查理 是你吗? |
| [15:22] | Alan’s here too, Mom. | 妈 艾伦也在这呢 |
| [15:24] | – Hi, Mom. – Boys, you didn’t have to come. | -妈妈 -孩子们 你们不必来的 |
| [15:29] | Are you kidding? Of course we did. | 你开玩笑吗? 我们当然得来的 |
| [15:31] | – Right, Alan? – Of course. | -对吧 艾伦 -当然了 |
| [15:33] | Tell us what happened. | 告诉我们发生了什么 |
| [15:36] | I came home this afternoon, alone. | 我今天下午回家 只身一人 |
| [15:41] | I was walking up the stairs… | 我正爬楼梯呢 |
| [15:44] | …alone. | 只身一人 |
| [15:48] | And I had trouble breathing… | 我呼吸困难 |
| [15:52] | …so I drove myself to the hospital… | 所以我就开车来了医院 |
| [15:56] | …alone. | 还是只身一人 |
| [16:01] | – Well, why did you drive yourself? – Oh, I didn’t wanna bother… | -你为什么自己开车来呢? -我不想叫救护车… |
| [16:04] | …the ambulance people. | 给他们添麻烦 |
| [16:08] | Why didn’t you call us? | 你为什么不打给我们? |
| [16:11] | Oh, you both made it very clear how you feel about me. | 你们俩都已经说得很清楚 你们有多讨厌我 |
| [16:17] | Now, that’s not fair. | 那不公平 |
| [16:18] | Just tell Jake… | 告诉杰克 |
| [16:21] | …his Grandmommy loves him very much. | 他奶奶非常爱他 |
| [16:25] | Don’t talk like that. | 别那样说话嘛 |
| [16:26] | You can tell him yourself, after the operation. | 手术后你再自己告诉他啊 |
| [16:29] | What operation? | 什么手术? |
| [16:35] | Relax. Relax. Quadruple bypasses are routine these days. | 放轻松 现如今4重搭桥手术 已经是家常便饭了 |
| [16:38] | – Quadruple? – Yeah, yeah. | -四倍? -对啊 |
| [16:40] | You got four clogged arteries. Right, Alan? | 你有4条动脉阻塞了 是吧 艾伦 |
| [16:43] | Right, the doctor said it’s lucky you came when you did. | 对 医生说还好你来的及时 |
| [16:47] | Another few days and you’d have been flopping around on the floor like a carp. | 晚几天你就跟鱼似的在地上翻滚了 |
| [16:51] | It’s no big deal, Mom. They crack open you open… | 没什么大不了的 妈妈 就是打开胸腔 |
| [16:54] | …flush out the pipes, sew you back up and you’re good as new. | 搅搅血管 缝起来就跟新的一样了 |
| [16:57] | Except, you know, for the big, gnarly scar on your chest. | 当然 除了胸口会有个大疤 |
| [17:01] | They’re prepping the OR. | 我们说话的当口 |
| [17:02] | We got the best surgeon available. | 他们就在准备手术室了 |
| [17:05] | He’s young but really sharp. | 他虽年轻 但是非常内行 |
| [17:06] | And well-respected in his own country. | 在他们国家很有声望的 |
| [17:15] | Well, all right. | 好吧 |
| [17:17] | If it has to be done, it has to be done. | 如果非做不可的话 就做吧 |
| [17:29] | I love you, boys. | 我爱你们 孩子们 |
| [17:33] | If the worst should happen… | 如果最坏的情况发生的话 |
| [17:37] | …please remember that. | 请记得 |
| [17:41] | – Yeah. Sure. – Of course. | -好啊 -当然 |
| [17:44] | Oh, my God, Evelyn Are you all right? | 天哪 伊夫林 你还好吧? |
| [17:46] | Oh, Judith, is that you? | 茱蒂丝 是你吗? |
| [17:50] | Yes, I’m right here. Jake’s here too. | 我在这 杰克也来了 |
| [17:52] | Oh, Jake. Come to Grandmommy, darling. | 杰克 亲爱的 来奶奶这 |
| [17:55] | I’m sorry you feel bad, Grandma. | 奶奶 你感觉怎么样? |
| [17:57] | Oh, Grandmommy’s feeling much better now that her little man is here. | 我的小宝贝在这 奶奶觉得好多了 |
| [18:02] | – I made you a get-well card. – Oh, isn’t that nice. | -我给你做了张”早日康复卡” -真好 |
| [18:07] | Gift shop wasn’t open? | 礼品店没开门吗? |
| [18:12] | You said you had a plan. Well, guess what? It was a bad plan. | 你说你胸有成竹的 我说 那真是个烂主意 |
| [18:15] | – Alan, calm down. – The plan sucked. | -艾伦 冷静点 -你的计划真烂 |
| [18:18] | – Don’t worry. – Don’t worry? | -别担心 – |
| [18:20] | She’s expecting a quadruple bypass. What are we gonna do? | 她准备要做4重搭桥手术了 我们要怎么办? |
| [18:23] | We’re gonna get her one. | 那给她做一个吧 |
| [18:25] | Must be someone around here who can handle a rib spreader. | 这里肯定有人会用肋骨撑开器 |
| [18:28] | – Charlie, that’s insane. – You’re right. | -查理 这太疯狂了 -你说得对 没时间了 |
| [18:30] | There’s no time. Better scrub up. | 得抓紧时间了 |
| [18:33] | She had to drive herself to the hospital? What is wrong with you two? | 她得自己开车来医院? 你们俩怎么了? |
| [18:37] | – Relax, Judith. She’s not sick. – What? | -放松 茱蒂丝 她没病 -什么? |
| [18:39] | She’s faking and we called her bluff, and then she called ours. | 她装的 我们想揭穿她 反被她将了一军 |
| [18:43] | So now, we’re gonna have to cut her open. | 现在我们只好把她开膛破肚了 |
| [18:46] | You want in? | 你想加入吗? |
| [18:48] | Hey, guess what? After Grandma’s operation… | 等奶奶做完手术 |
| [18:50] | …she’s gonna take me to Magic Mountain, okay? | 她要带我去魔法山 爸 可以吗? |
| [18:53] | Yeah, yeah, that’s okay. We’re gonna have to tell her. | 可以 我们得告诉她实情 查理 |
| [18:56] | You sure? We don’t need to do the bypass. | 你确定? 我们可以不做搭桥手术 |
| [18:58] | All we do is put her out, slice her open. | 只要开一刀再缝上就好 |
| [19:00] | – The scar will sell it. – The truth, Charlie. | -她看到伤疤就会相信 -去说实情 查理 |
| [19:06] | Doesn’t have to be a big scar. | 疤也不必留很大 |
| [19:08] | Okay, doctor, let’s schedule this as quickly as possible. | 好的 医生 那尽快安排吧 |
| [19:11] | Oh, great. I’ll be here. | 我在这等你 |
| [19:14] | Hello, boys. | 孩子们 |
| [19:17] | – What are you doing? – lf I’m going to have to have surgery… | -你在干嘛? -如果我得做手术的话 |
| [19:20] | …I want my own doctor. | 我要自己的医生 |
| [19:22] | Mom, you don’t really need a surgeon. | 妈妈 你不一定要做手术的 |
| [19:24] | Oh, but I do. | 要的 |
| [19:27] | Your quadruple bypass story makes the perfect cover… | 用4重搭桥手术当借口 |
| [19:30] | …for a little nip tuck. | 那我整容的事就神不知鬼不觉了 |
| [19:32] | No turkey neck for Grandmommy, right? | 奶奶脖子也没皱纹哟 |
| [19:36] | About Jake. I told him I’d take him to Magic Mountain… | 我跟杰克说 我会带他去魔法山 (游乐园) |
| [19:38] | …but you know how I feel about direct sunlight. | 但你们知道我不喜欢阳光直射的 |
| [19:42] | Yeah, and wolfbane. | 对 还有附子草 (对皮肤有害) |
| [19:45] | You’ll take him for me, won’t you, Charlie? | 查理 你会替我带他去的吧? |
| [19:47] | – Sure, Mom. – I’ll make it up to him… | -当然了 妈妈 -我会带他去理个发 |
| [19:49] | …by taking him out for a haircut and some decent clothes. | …买几身新衣裳做为补偿 |
| [19:53] | – He’ll like that. – Sure, Mom. | -他肯定会喜欢的 -当然了 妈妈 |
| [19:56] | Maybe when his mother sees how nice he could look… | 可能当他妈看到他那么帅的时候 |
| [19:59] | …she’ll take the hint and stop dressing him like a tackling dummy. | 她能学着点别把他穿成个土鳖 |
| [20:04] | Oh, the food here is just dreadful. | 这的食物很难吃 |
| [20:06] | So why don’t you boys run across the street… | 不如你们去街对面 |
| [20:09] | …and get me a nice ahi tuna… | 给我去买个美味烤金枪鱼 |
| [20:10] | Charlie, what in God’s name are you doing? | 查理 你在干嘛 |
| [20:15] | Just practicing. | 先练习一下 |
| [20:22] | The worker bees, or drones… | 工蜂或雄蜂… |
| [20:24] | … live a life of utter devotion to their queen. | 活着就是要为蜂后奉献一生 |
| [20:28] | You had a plan. | 你胸有成竹 |
| [20:31] | From birth, these industrious yet mindless creatures… | 打出生起 这些勤劳却愚蠢的生物 |
| [20:34] | … slave away to fulfill the queen ‘s every need. | 甘心当牛作马满足蜂后一切需要 |
| [20:37] | “Don’t worry, Alan. I have a plan.” | 别担心 艾伦 我已胸有成竹 |
| [20:42] | Until finally they reach the end of their brief lifespan and die… | 他们短暂的生命一结束 |
| [20:47] | … becoming food and building materials for the rest of the hive. | 就成为别人的食物 和建筑蜂窝的材料 |
| [20:50] | Alan, where’s my sandwich? | 艾伦 我的三明治呢 |
| [20:55] | Coming, Mom. | 来了 妈妈 |
| [20:58] | A cruel existence? Perhaps. But that’s life on the Animal Planet. | 体系可能残忍了点 但这就是”动物星球” |