| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Hello? | 有人吗? |
| [00:08] | Anybody? | 有人在吗? |
| [00:12] | Big news. | 重大消息 |
| [00:15] | I’m gonna marry Mia. | 我要跟米亚结婚了 |
| [00:18] | Hey,Alan. | 嗨 艾伦 |
| [00:19] | I’m in the shower. | 我在洗澡 |
| [00:22] | Guess what I’m gonna do with Mia. | 猜猜我要跟米亚做什么 |
| [00:24] | Guess what I’m already doing with Kandi. | 还是猜猜我已经跟康迪做过什么了吧 |
| [00:28] | That’s not fair,Alan.You have to give him a hint. | 艾伦 这样不公平 你应该给他一点提示 |
| [00:31] | He doesn’t need a hint. | 他不需要提示 |
| [00:33] | Well,then how’s he supposed to guess? | 那他怎么能猜到啊? |
| [00:38] | Oh,well. | 哦 好吧 |
| [00:42] | Look,a place to hang my washcloth. | 看啊 一个我掛小浴巾的”好地方” |
| [00:53] | The rule of thumb with an engagement ring is | 凭经验来说 订婚戒指 |
| [00:55] | that the price should equal three months’ salary. | 应该价位在三个月的薪水那么多 |
| [00:59] | I wonder what broad came up with that. | 什么婆娘想出这么个歪理? |
| [01:03] | wasn’t broad | 不是某个女人 |
| [01:03] | It’s a marketing scheme dreamed up by the international diamond cartel. | 而是一个国际钻石企业联盟 想出来的销售策略 |
| [01:07] | Probably a bunch of chicks. | 也许那些人都是些小妞儿 |
| [01:11] | But at least diamonds are forever. | 但起码钻石是永恒的 |
| [01:13] | Oh,yeah,forever. | 哦 是的 永恒的 |
| [01:14] | My ex-wife still has hers. | 起码我给我前妻买的钻戒 还在她那儿呢 |
| [01:16] | Meanwhile,I’m wearing mismatched socks from the irregular bin. | 与此同时 我还在穿着从乱乱的柜子里 翻出来的不成对的袜子 |
| [01:20] | Well,Mia and I are gonna go the distance.Fifteen,maybe 20 years. | 我和米亚大概会白头到老个… 呃 15或者20年 |
| [01:24] | That’s not the distance.The distance is death. | 那不是白头到老 白头到老是直到死亡 |
| [01:29] | If I’m still married after 20 years,kill me. | 如果我20年后还是已婚 就干脆毙了我 |
| [01:33] | I can’t believe you’re doing this at all. | 我完全不敢相信你会想要结婚 |
| [01:35] | Why not? | 为什么不呢? |
| [01:36] | Why shouldn’t someone like me settle down with a wife and kids? | 难道像我这样的人就不应该 过着有老婆孩子的安稳日子吗? |
| [01:39] | Boy,I don’t know where to start. | 天啊 我都不知该从哪儿说起 |
| [01:41] | That’s the old Charlie you’re thinking of. | 你把我当成以前的查理了 |
| [01:44] | Oh,okay. | 哦 好吧 |
| [01:45] | And to whom am I speaking now? | 那我正在跟谁讲话呢? |
| [01:48] | May I help you gentlemen? | 先生们 有什么能为你们效劳的? |
| [01:50] | We’re looking for an engagement ring. | 我们想买个订婚戒指 |
| [01:52] | How nice. | 太好了 |
| [01:55] | Do you have anything in mind? | 你想要什么款式? |
| [02:00] | Nothing ostentatious. | 不要太奢华的 |
| [02:01] | Something in a brilliant cut, perhaps with complementary baguettes. | 切工要很漂亮 也许 补加上狭长切钻就更好了 |
| [02:05] | Size isn’t as important as color and clarity. | 尺寸不像色泽和净度那么重要 |
| [02:08] | Well,someone knows what he wants. | 看来有人知道自己想要什么 |
| [02:13] | What can I say? | 我还能说什么呢? |
| [02:15] | He’s my life. | 他就是我的命根儿 |
| [02:22] | So basically I asked her to marry me and she said yes. | 基本上就是我求她嫁给我 然后她就答应了 |
| [02:29] | -What do you think about that,Jake? -Good. | -杰克 你是怎么看的? -挺好 |
| [02:33] | That’s it?Good? | 这么简单?挺好? |
| [02:34] | It’s not good? | 难道不好吗? |
| [02:36] | No,it’s good. | 不 挺好 |
| [02:38] | That’s what I said. | 我不就是那么说的吗 |
| [02:41] | All right,I’m full. | 好了 我吃饱了 |
| [02:44] | Wears his little heart on his sleeve, doesn’t he? | 他对自己的感受坦诚不公 不是吗? |
| [02:47] | It’s my own fault. | 都是我的错 |
| [02:48] | I should’ve known better than to talk to him at feeding time. | 我不应该在吃饭时间跟他讲这件事 |
| [02:54] | Charlie,I need to speak to you. | 查理 我想跟你谈谈 |
| [02:56] | I’ll be right out,Rose. | 我马上就过去 萝丝 |
| [03:01] | Did you tell her? | 你告诉她了吗? |
| [03:02] | Of course not. | 当然没有 |
| [03:03] | -Would you? -No. | -你会告诉她吗? -不会的 |
| [03:04] | I’ll let you be my best man. | 那么我让你当我的伴郎 |
| [03:05] | You mean I’m not? | 你的意思是我原来不是吗? |
| [03:07] | Well,you’re on the short list but this could cinch it. | 哦 原来你在候补名单里 但现在已经确定是你了 |
| [03:10] | Come on,Charlie | 少来 查理 |
| [03:11] | that woman has been obsessed with you for years. | 那个女人已经对你痴迷了多年 |
| [03:13] | She’s gonna find out sooner or later. | 早晚她都会发现你订婚的事 |
| [03:15] | Let it come from you. | 还是你去告诉她吧 |
| [03:18] | Yeah,I guess. | 我想你说得对 |
| [03:19] | She has a boyfriend now.She probably won’t care. | 但她现在已经有男朋友了.她也许不会在乎了 |
| [03:21] | Probably not. | 也许真不会在乎呢 |
| [03:22] | So why won’t you tell her? | 那你干吗不去跟她说? |
| [03:24] | Because if I want my eyebrows shaved, I’ll shave them myself. | 因为如果我想修眉毛的话 我会自己动手 |
| [03:31] | Hey,Rosey Rose. | 嗨 粉嫩小萝丝 |
| [03:34] | What’s up,Rosey Rose? | 发生什么事了?粉嫩小萝丝 |
| [03:36] | Gordon dumped me. | 戈顿把我甩了 |
| [03:38] | Oh,damn it to hell. | 哦 真该死的活见鬼 |
| [03:41] | I know,it’s awful. | 我知道 这太糟糕了 |
| [03:44] | How could he do this? | 他怎么能这么做呢? |
| [03:46] | He couldn’t be with me anymore knowing that I’m still in love with you. | 他说 知道我还爱着你之后 就不能再跟我在一起 |
| [03:49] | Oh,no,no,no. | 哦 不 不 不 不 |
| [03:52] | Yes,yes,yes yes,yes. | 是的 是的 是的 是的 |
| [03:56] | Listen,Rose. | 听着 萝丝 |
| [03:59] | There’s something I have to tell you. | 我有事要告诉你 |
| [04:01] | ls it good news? | 是好消息吗? |
| [04:02] | I could use some good news. | 我正好需要点好消息来安慰下自己 |
| [04:05] | Well… | 嗯 |
| [04:08] | -you remember Mia? -Yeah. | -你还记得米亚吗? -记得 |
| [04:12] | Don’t tell me you’re dating her again. | 别告诉我你又跟她交往了 |
| [04:14] | No,no.No,we are not dating. | 不 不 不 我们没在交往 |
| [04:16] | Good. | 很好 |
| [04:17] | Because I always thought she was kind of a head case. | 因为我总觉得她有点神经兮兮的 |
| [04:21] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [04:23] | Look,the thing is,I’m gonna, kind of,marry her. | 听着 实际上 呃 我跟她要结婚了 |
| [04:33] | Rose?Did you hear me? | 你听见我讲的话了吗? |
| [04:37] | I heard you. | 听见了 |
| [04:39] | You’re gonna marry Mia. | 你要娶米亚了 |
| [04:40] | So are you okay? | 那么你还好吧? |
| [04:43] | Sure. | 当然 |
| [04:45] | Why wouldn’t I be okay? | 我干吗会不好呢? |
| [04:47] | Well,I was afraid the news might come as a bit of a shock to you. | 哦 我担心这个消息 也许会让你受打击 |
| [04:51] | Afraid? | 担心? |
| [04:52] | There’s nothing to be afraid of,Charlie. | 没什么可担心的 查理 |
| [04:55] | You’re my friend. | 你是我的朋友 |
| [05:00] | Where are you going? | 你要去哪儿? |
| [05:02] | I have things to do. | 我有事要做 |
| [05:05] | -What kind of things? -Things. | -什么事? -就是事儿呗 |
| [05:08] | Goodbye,Charlie. | 再见 查理 |
| [05:12] | -Hello,Alan. -Hello. | -嗨 艾伦 -嗨 |
| [05:21] | Did she just use the front door? | 她刚才从前门出去的吗? |
| [05:26] | She’s never used the front door before. | 她以前从来没从前门出去过 |
| [05:31] | What happened out there? | 发生什么事情了? |
| [05:32] | Well,I told her I was gonna marry Mia… | 我告诉她我要跟米亚结婚了 |
| [05:35] | and I think I could actually see her medication stop working. | 而且我能看出来 她的药已经不起作用了 |
| [05:42] | What do you think she’s gonna do? | 你认为她会做什么? |
| [05:43] | The question isn’t what,it’s when. | 问题不是做什么 而是什么时候做 |
| [05:48] | And how I’m gonna enjoy my honeymoon with my testicles glued to my ass-crack. | 如果我的睾丸粘在股沟里的话 我怎么能安心度好蜜月啊? |
| [05:57] | That’s a pretty wedding gown. | 这件婚纱真漂亮 |
| [05:59] | Oh,yeah. | 是啊 |
| [06:00] | I could crawl under there during the reception and no one would have a clue. | 我能在举办婚宴的时候爬到里面 不给任何人发现 |
| [06:05] | Well,you would. | 当然 你能 |
| [06:08] | Stop. | 停 |
| [06:09] | I don’t think you’d say that. | 我不认为你到时候会那么说 |
| [06:12] | Isn’t it beautiful? | 你不觉得这枚戒指很美吗? |
| [06:14] | They say you’re supposed to spend three months’ salary but I went four. | 你知道吗 有人说我应该花三月的薪水买戒指 但我花了四个月的 |
| [06:18] | Because I’m worth it? | 因为我值得吗? |
| [06:23] | My dad called today. | 我老爸今天给我打电话了 |
| [06:24] | He wants to take your family out for dinner. | 他想带你的家人出去吃顿大餐 |
| [06:26] | Yeah,well,tell him he can have one or the other but not both. | 好吧 告诉他只能请一个 不能同时请两个 |
| [06:30] | Come on,they’re gonna have to meet sooner or later. | 好啦 查理 他们迟早要见面的 |
| [06:33] | Okay,but why don’t we wait for a real happy occasion? | 好吧 但为什么不等到一个更喜庆的时机再说? |
| [06:36] | What’s happier than a wedding? | 还有什么时机比婚礼更喜庆的? |
| [06:38] | My mother’s funeral springs to mind. | 对了 我妈妈的葬礼快到了 |
| [06:41] | There’ll be music,dancing, my mom will be in a box. | 那时候会有音乐 舞蹈 而且我老妈会被装在一个盒子里 |
| [06:46] | You’re horrible. | 太可怕了 |
| [06:48] | That’s a gorgeous wedding cake. | 这个婚礼蛋糕真不错 |
| [06:49] | It’s okay. | 还好吧 |
| [06:51] | I’m not big on having the little action figures on top. | 我对蛋糕上的小人不太感冒 |
| [06:54] | They kind of creep me out. | 他们有点让我毛骨悚然 |
| [06:55] | They’re traditional. | 传统式的嘛 |
| [06:56] | Hey,this is our wedding, we can do whatever we want. | 嘿 这是我们的婚礼 我们想怎么办就怎么办 |
| [06:59] | We don’t even have to have cake, we could have pie. | 我们甚至可以不要蛋糕 我们可以用馅饼 |
| [07:03] | A wedding pie? | 一个婚礼馅饼? |
| [07:06] | Well,we’d probably need more than one. | 也许我们需要不止一个 |
| [07:08] | You know,so everybody gets some crust. | 那样的话每个人都能分到点馅饼皮儿 |
| [07:12] | Alan,what do you think about a wedding with no cake? | 艾伦 你怎么看待一个没有蛋糕的婚礼? |
| [07:15] | No cake? | 没有蛋糕? |
| [07:16] | Where would you put the little bride and groom? | 那把新娘新郎小人放到哪里? |
| [07:19] | I can think of one place. | 我能找到别的地方 |
| [07:22] | Charlie,if you do a wedding,do it right. | 查理 如果你要举行婚礼 那就办的体面点 |
| [07:24] | -Thank you,Alan. -You’re welcome. | -谢谢你 艾伦 -不客气 |
| [07:26] | Which reminds me, I found my wedding folder.Guess what was in it? | 这倒提醒我了 我刚刚找到我的婚礼册 猜猜里面有什么? |
| [07:30] | The claim check for your manhood? | 你男性雄威的证明吗? |
| [07:34] | As I was saying it’s all here. | 就像我之前说的 全都在这儿了 |
| [07:36] | Everything you could possibly need for your big day. | 所有你们大喜的日子 |
| [07:39] | From paper samples for your announcements | 可能需要的参考资料 |
| [07:41] | to selected verses of poetry well-suited for wedding vows. | 从婚柬的纸样 到为婚礼宣誓时 精心挑选的浪漫爱情诗词 |
| [07:44] | And you wonder why people think you’re gay. | 那你还捉摸不透为啥人们觉得你是同性恋吗? |
| [07:48] | Oh,shush. | 哦 闭嘴吧 |
| [07:50] | Now,you’re talking cake but we are light years away from cake. | 你们在谈蛋糕呢 可我们离蛋糕那步还远著呢 |
| [07:53] | First we have to discuss the budget, the venue,how many guests. | 首先我们需要讨论的是 预算 婚礼的地点 客人的多少 |
| [07:57] | Is it gonna be a sit-down dinner or a buffet. | 是要就席餐宴还是要自助餐 |
| [07:59] | Then you need to hire a photographer and a videographer.Then a florist. | 然后要请一个摄影师 还有录像师 还有花店的问题 |
| [08:03] | Have you thought about flowers? | 你们考虑过花的问题了吗? |
| [08:05] | Well,lilies are nice. | 哦 百合就好吧 |
| [08:07] | Lilies are perfect if the bride and groom are recently deceased. | 如果新郎和新娘最近都死掉的话 那么百合花会非常合适 |
| [08:14] | But I like lilies. | 但是我喜欢百合 |
| [08:16] | Mia,we’ll never get through this if you don’t focus. | 米亚 如果不集中精神永远都没法进入下个阶段 |
| [08:19] | Now,wedding party. | 现在考虑的是婚礼派对 |
| [08:21] | Bridesmaids.What are they wearing? | 伴娘 她们要穿什么? |
| [08:23] | I suggest an unflattering style in a hideous color… | 我建议她们穿颜色式样都难看的衣服 |
| [08:26] | because after all,this is your day. | 因为毕竟那天是你的大好日子嘛 |
| [08:29] | Oh,and before I forget,although it’s not politically correct to throw rice… | 哦 我差点忘了 从政治方面讲 尽管扔大米不太好… |
| [08:33] | if you throw birdseed,you run the risk of ending like a Hitchcock movie. | 但如果你扔的是鸟食的话 下场很可能像希区柯克的电影一样 |
| [08:41] | What kind of pie did you have in mind? | 你想要哪种馅饼呢? |
| [08:43] | Well,look who’s here.The bride of Drunkenstein. | 哎呀 看看谁来了 醉酒的新娘 |
| [08:47] | Look. | 看 |
| [08:49] | Wow,that’s quite a rock. | 哇 好大的钻石啊 |
| [08:52] | You know what we call babes with rings like that in my neighborhood? | 你们知道在我住的社区 我们怎么称呼戴着这种戒指的年轻女孩吗? |
| [08:55] | Stumpy. | 俗人 |
| [08:59] | What are you looking at me for? Just stay out of her neighborhood. | 你看着我干吗?离她住的社区远点就行了 |
| [09:07] | That was uncomfortable. | 真是太不舒服了 |
| [09:08] | No,sand in my urethra is uncomfortable. | 不 是我尿道里的沙子让人不舒服 |
| [09:13] | That meal was a freaking disaster. | 这顿饭吃得太失败了 |
| [09:19] | I’m gonna stay with my family, try and calm my mother down. | 我要陪我家人 试着让我妈妈冷静下来 |
| [09:22] | The miserable bitch. | 可恶的泼妇 |
| [09:24] | Your family hates me,don’t they? | 你家人不喜欢我 是不是? |
| [09:26] | Not just you. | 不仅仅是你 |
| [09:29] | I’ll call you later. | 我一会儿给你打电话 |
| [09:34] | Do you believe your future mother-in-law? | 你相信那是你将来的岳母吗? |
| [09:37] | Shows up at a four-star restaurant wearing a tracksuit | 她居然穿着运动装 半英亩那么老大的 |
| [09:40] | with the word “juicy” stretched across her half-acre ass. | 屁股上还有”肥嫩”字样的出现在4星级饭店里 |
| [09:44] | I can read,Mom. | 我认识字 妈妈 |
| [09:47] | Can we go back? I forgot my doggy bag. | 我们能回去一下吗?我打包的剩菜落在那儿了 |
| [09:49] | We can never go back,Jake. | 我们永远也不回去了 杰克 |
| [09:52] | Come on,it’s not the end of the world. | 好啦 这不是世界末日 |
| [09:54] | Easy for you to say. | 你说着倒容易 |
| [09:55] | You’re not marrying into the Addams family. | 又不是你跟亚当斯一家结亲 |
| [09:59] | Oh,like you were a prize. | 哦 好像你自己有多高贵似的 |
| [10:01] | Slipping a prenuptial agreement into my fiancee’s menu. | “不小心”把一份婚前协议书 掉到我未婚妻的菜单里 |
| [10:05] | I am just trying to protect you from being wiped out by a vindictive ex-wife… | 我只是想保护你而已 以免未来某个复仇如性的前妻 |
| [10:09] | who will use your hard-earned money to finance a frivolous life | 将你洗劫一空 用你的血汗钱 来满足她虚荣的生活 |
| [10:13] | of partying and shopping and unnecessary plastic surgery. | 开派对啊 血拼啊 或是做什么 没必要的整容 |
| [10:18] | Mom | 老妈? |
| [10:19] | Every one of my surgeries was necessary. | 我的每一项手术可都是非做不可 |
| [10:22] | And if I had signed a pre-nup you would never have gone to music camp… | 如果我当初簽婚前协议 你永远不会去音乐夏令营 |
| [10:27] | and Alan would have an overbite you could use to open a can of Pennzoil. | 艾伦的”天包地”就会严重到 可以用来咬开一罐Pennzoil牌润滑油 |
| [10:33] | I didn’t know Mia’s last name was Addams. | 我还不知道米亚的姓是”亚当斯”呢 |
| [10:36] | I didn’t know her sister is a cop. | 我还不知道她的姐姐是个条子呢 |
| [10:38] | Was a cop. | 曾经是条子 |
| [10:40] | Now she’s a dry drunk with a grudge and a 38. | 她现在就是个年芳三八 心怀怨念的老酒鬼 |
| [10:45] | Well,I liked her. | 但是我挺喜欢她的 |
| [10:47] | Well,that’s because she had the same haircut as you. | 那是因为她的发型跟你一样 |
| [10:51] | I was a little shocked that her father stuck you with the bill. | 她老爸把帐单推给你的时候 我倒是挺惊讶的 |
| [10:54] | You know why you noticed that? | 你知道你为什么会注意到吗? |
| [10:56] | Because the two of you trampled each other trying to get to the men’s room | 当时你们俩差不多你踩我跺的 争抢跑去男洗手间 |
| [10:59] | when you saw the waiter bringing it. | 因为你们都看见服务生拿着账单过来了 |
| [11:02] | I drank a lot of iced tea. | 那是因为我冰茶喝多了 |
| [11:06] | Well,I had a very nice time. | 哦 我过得挺开心的 |
| [11:08] | Sure,you got to inform my bride-to-be and her entire family… | 当然了 因为你非得告诉我未婚妻 以及她家里所有人 |
| [11:12] | that you had sex with me before you had sex with him. | 你跟他上床之前先跟我上过床 |
| [11:15] | I was just telling Mia I know how lucky she is. | 我只是想告诉米亚 我知道她多么幸运 |
| [11:18] | Nevertheless,honey, it was not an appropriate toast. | 不管怎么样 那个祝酒词也不太合适 |
| [11:23] | Juicy-pants almost choked to death on her lamb shank. | “肥嫩”大屁股岳母 差点没被她那份羊小腿噎死 |
| [11:27] | Well,in all fairness,the woman was stuffing her face like a musket. | 我这么说可没夸张 她非把自己的脸撑得像支火枪 |
| [11:32] | All I can say is after tonight’s fiasco… | 我只能说 经过今天晚上这场自助餐劫难 |
| [11:34] | I’m gonna have to rethink the seating chart for the wedding. | 我需要考虑重新安排一下婚礼的座位表了 |
| [11:37] | Yeah,well,it won’t be that complicated. | 哦 没有那么复杂 |
| [11:39] | Why not? | 为什么没有? |
| [11:40] | Because none of you are invited. | 因为你们都不会受到邀请 |
| [11:45] | Well,Mom,if you wear an animal print tracksuit to a nice restaurant… | 妈妈 如果你穿着动物图案的运动装 去一个高档餐馆吃饭 |
| [11:49] | people are gonna make comments. | 人们是会说三道四的 |
| [11:52] | I agree. | 我同意 |
| [11:53] | Calling you a cougar with arm fat was over the line. | 叫你粗胳膊的美洲狮是有点过分 |
| [11:57] | Hang on. | 等一下 |
| [12:03] | Hello,Mia. | 你好 米亚 |
| [12:07] | I’ll call you back. | 我一会再给你打 |
| [12:18] | You don’t think Mia’s gonna turn into her mother,do you? | 你不会认为米亚会变成她妈妈那样吧? |
| [12:21] | I wouldn’t worry about it. | 我不担心这个 |
| [12:23] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [12:24] | What I would worry about is you turning her into our mother. | 我担心的是你把她变成我们妈妈那样儿 |
| [12:29] | Thanks for ruining my wedding night, Dr.Freud. | 谢谢你毁了我的新婚之夜 弗洛伊德博士 |
| [12:32] | Hey,don’t set the bar too high for the wedding night. | 别对新婚之夜期望那么高 |
| [12:35] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么啊? |
| [12:36] | It’s a long,stressful day. | 那天会很漫长 压力很大 |
| [12:38] | You’ll be exhausted,full of banquet food and cheap champagne. | 你会累得半死 肚子里塞满婚宴的食物和廉价的香槟 |
| [12:42] | Take my advice. | 接受我的建议吧 |
| [12:43] | Tell her you love her, give her a big kiss… | 告诉她你爱她 深深的吻她一下 |
| [12:46] | and try to fall asleep with your ass pointed toward an open window. | 试着屁股对住打开着的窗户睡觉 |
| [12:55] | You,sir,have the heart of a poet. | 先生 你有颗诗人般的心 |
| [13:00] | I am merely the voice of smelly experience. | 我只不过以自己”臭不堪言”的经验相劝 |
| [13:08] | Well then,let me ask you this. | 好吧 我想问你 |
| [13:10] | I know things didn’t end well with you and Judith… | 我知道你和朱蒂斯的婚姻不成功 |
| [13:13] | but overall, did you like being married? | 但是总的来说 你喜欢婚姻吗? |
| [13:16] | Oh,I loved being married. | 哦 我喜欢婚姻 |
| [13:17] | Never missed having sex with other women? | 从未怀念过跟其他女人上床的感觉? |
| [13:19] | Sure. | 当然有过 |
| [13:20] | But I missed that before I got married too. | 但是我结婚之前也没少怀念啊 |
| [13:24] | What I loved was the idea of having someone that I could always turn to. | 我喜欢婚姻 是因为我喜欢有人依靠 |
| [13:28] | Someone who cared about me. | 有人关心我 |
| [13:30] | Someone who’d always stand by me through thick and thin. | 有人一直在我身边跟我同甘共苦的这种安心感觉 |
| [13:33] | It does sound nice. | 听起来不错 |
| [13:35] | Yeah,so does Disneyland. | 是啊 就像迪士尼乐园一样 |
| [13:39] | Yet every day people stagger off those giant teacups covered in vomit. | 但是 人们每一天都会从那沾满呕吐物 的巨大茶杯转椅里爬出来 |
| [13:46] | But you’d do it again? | 那么你还会结婚吗? |
| [13:48] | What can I say? | 我能怎么说呢? |
| [13:50] | Marriage is a great ride until you puke. | 婚姻是段精彩的转椅之旅 直到你吐了为止 |
| [13:56] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [13:57] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [14:04] | -Charlie. -Mia? | -查理 -米亚 |
| [14:11] | Your friend Rose was just at my apartment. | 你朋友萝丝刚才去我公寓了 |
| [14:17] | So how’d that go? | 发生什么事了吗? |
| [14:18] | She was wearing a bridal gown. | 她穿着件婚纱 |
| [14:20] | Planning on wearing it to our wedding. | 她打算穿着那个参加我们的婚礼 |
| [14:22] | She wanted me to know so we wouldn’t clash. | 她想让我看一下 这样的话我们就不会撞衫了 |
| [14:25] | Well,that’s kind of thoughtful,isn’t it? | 哦 她真是想的挺周到 是吧? |
| [14:27] | I’m not finished. | 我还没说完呢 |
| [14:29] | She wanted to give me a shower. | 她想帮我洗澡 |
| [14:31] | An engagement shower? | 订婚洗礼? |
| [14:32] | An actual soap and water shower. | 实实在在的用肥皂和水帮我洗一次澡 |
| [14:36] | I don’t want her at my wedding. | 我不想让她参加我的婚礼 |
| [14:38] | Hey,I don’t want her in my zip code. | 嘿 我都不想跟她住一个区 |
| [14:41] | But she’s a close friend. | 但是她是我们的好朋友 |
| [14:43] | -Charlie. -All right,all right,I’ll tell you what… | -查理? -好吧 好吧 我告诉你吧 |
| [14:47] | I’ll cross Rose off the guest list… | 我可以把萝丝从客人名单上去掉 |
| [14:49] | if you dump that pistol-packing hermaphrodite you call a sister. | 条件是 你不能邀请那个你称之为姐妹的带枪二椅子参加婚礼 |
| [14:54] | She’s my maid of honor the gun is registered, and she’s taking hormones. | 可她是我的首席女傧相 枪已经注册过了 而且她正在注射荷尔蒙 |
| [14:59] | While we’re pruning, what about your mother? | 说到精减客人 那你妈呢? |
| [15:02] | Done.She’s out. | 成交 她不会来了 |
| [15:03] | Now your mother. | 现在该你老妈了 |
| [15:04] | It’s not a some thing | 这不是一回事 |
| [15:05] | You would’ve thrown your mother overboard for free. | 丟开你老妈 你压根儿眼都不眨一下 |
| [15:07] | I don’t care. | 那我不管 |
| [15:08] | If she goes somebody on your side’s gotta go. | 如果不让她来 你那边的人也得去掉一个 |
| [15:11] | How about your father? | 你老爸怎么样? |
| [15:12] | He takes us all out to dinner and the only plastic he’s got on him is his shoes. | 他把我们大家带去吃饭 结果他身上唯一一块塑料就是他的鞋 |
| [15:17] | Charlie,he has to give me away at the wedding. | 查理 他得在婚礼上把我交给你啊 |
| [15:19] | Give you away? | 把你交给我? |
| [15:20] | That cheapskate? | 那个守财奴? |
| [15:21] | I’ll probably have to trade him a pony and a couple of blankets for you. | 我可能得用一匹小马和几条毯子来换你 |
| [15:25] | what are we seem we’re gonna have a wedding that none | 难道我们要办个没有家人 |
| [15:27] | of our family and friends can attend? | 和朋友参加的婚礼吗? |
| [15:30] | Might as well go to Vegas and elope. | 我们也许去私奔去拉斯维加斯比较好 |
| [15:37] | Now,there’s an interesting concept. | 那倒会挺有意思的 |
| [15:40] | In Vegas,not only could we get married immediately… | 在拉斯维加斯 我们不仅可以马上结婚 |
| [15:42] | we can get drunk and gamble away our nest egg. | 还可以喝个过瘾 把我们的积蓄赌个精光 |
| [15:46] | Don’t forget the lap dances and hookers. | 别把脱衣舞和妓女给忘了 |
| [15:48] | Oh,you’re gonna make a great wife. | 哦 你一定会成为一个好妻子的 |
| [16:01] | All the wonderful plans I had for a wedding. | 可惜我为婚礼想的那些好点子都用不上 |
| [16:06] | Let it go,Alan. | 别计较了 艾伦 |
| [16:07] | I don’t understand the big rush. | 我不明白你为什么这么着急 |
| [16:09] | You wouldn’t even stop for boutonnieres. | 你甚至都没买带在扣眼上的花 |
| [16:13] | I just wanna get this over with. | 我只想速战速决 |
| [16:15] | Get this over with? | 速战速决? |
| [16:16] | That’s the attitude you take to a proctologist,not a marriage. | 那是你应该对直肠科医生采取的态度 而不该这样看待结婚 |
| [16:20] | Well,maybe I’m a little nervous. | 哦 也许我有点紧张 |
| [16:22] | ls that all it is? | 仅仅是这样吗? |
| [16:24] | What are you saying? | 你是什么意思啊? |
| [16:25] | I’m saying that if you’re feeling uneasy, | 我的意思是如果你感觉不安 |
| [16:27] | maybe you’re not ready for this. | 也许是你还没有准备好 |
| [16:29] | -Did you have doubts when you married? -None. | -你结婚的时候犹豫过吗? -完全没有 |
| [16:31] | Judith assured me I was doing the right thing. | 朱蒂斯向我保证说我的决定没错 |
| [16:34] | Here comes bride,here comes bride | 新娘来了 新娘来了 |
| [16:40] | Here comes bride….here comes bride | 新娘来了 新娘来了 |
| [16:46] | That’s all I got. | 我就会这两句 |
| [16:55] | You look beautiful. | 你看起来真美 |
| [16:56] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [16:58] | I was afraid you were gonna chicken out. | 我怕你会临阵脱逃 |
| [17:00] | That’s funny,she said the same thing about you. | 真有意思 她也是这么说你的 |
| [17:05] | Thank you,Kandi. | 谢谢你 康迪 |
| [17:07] | Are you sure this is what you wanna do? | 那么你确定你真的想跟我结婚? |
| [17:10] | I’m sure.Are you? | 我确定 你呢? |
| [17:12] | Absolutely. | 当然 |
| [17:14] | Okay.Who’s the lucky couple? | 好啦 那幸运的一对是谁? |
| [17:18] | Well,we’re the ones getting married, so I guess it’s them. | 哦 我们俩要结婚了 所以我想你指的可能是他们 |
| [17:24] | -Charlie. -A joke. | -查理. -开玩笑 |
| [17:27] | Alrighty.Now, | 好的 |
| [17:28] | before we begin the ceremony I need both your signatures there and there. | 在这个仪式开始之前 我需要你们把名字簽在这儿和这儿 |
| [17:33] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [17:35] | So are you folks staying in Vegas or | 那么你们就呆在拉斯维加斯 |
| [17:37] | are you honeymooning somewhere else? | 还是去别的地方度蜜月? |
| [17:39] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [17:40] | What do you think,sweetie? | 你怎么想的 亲爱的? |
| [17:41] | Oh,can I talk to you for a second? | 哦 我能跟你谈一下吗 |
| [17:45] | What’d I say? Am I in trouble already? | 我错什么了?我已经有麻烦了吗? |
| [17:49] | Baby,I swear to God, I think we’re the lucky couple. | 亲爱的 我向上帝发誓 我们就是那幸运的一对 |
| [17:53] | Relax,I just want to talk to you about our honeymoon. | 查理 放松点 我只想跟你讨论一下我们的蜜月问题 |
| [17:57] | I’ll take you anywhere you wanna go. | 你想去哪儿我就带你去哪儿 |
| [17:59] | Frankly,I’d pick a place with a nice ceiling… | 老实说 我会挑一个有漂亮天花板的地方 |
| [18:01] | because we’re just gonna take turns looking at it. | 因为到时候我们会轮流看着天花板的 |
| [18:05] | Charlie,I would love to honeymoon with you.but | 查理 我很想跟你去度蜜月 但是 |
| [18:08] | well,I have to work… | 我还得工作 而且… |
| [18:11] | and I think it’d be smarter to use the money to redo the house. | 我觉得我们把钱花在装修房子上更明智 |
| [18:14] | Oh,I get it. | 哦 我明白了 |
| [18:15] | You gave up trying to change me so now the house has to suffer? | 你放弃改变我了 现在房子要遭殃了? |
| [18:20] | If we’re gonna have a family, we’ll turn the second bedroom into a nursery. | 听着 如果我们有自己的家了 我们就得把第二个臥室改成育婴室 |
| [18:24] | But that’s where Jake stays. | 但那是杰克的房间 |
| [18:25] | But once Alan moves out… | 没错 但是一旦艾伦搬出去的话 |
| [18:27] | then Jake won’t be staying there anymore,right? | 那么杰克就不会住在那间臥室 对吧? |
| [18:30] | Alan’s moving out? | 艾伦要搬出去? |
| [18:31] | Of course he is. | 他当然得搬出去 |
| [18:33] | Isn’t he? | 难道不是吗? |
| [18:36] | This is so romantic. | 这真是太浪漫了 |
| [18:39] | When I was a little girl, I used to love playing bride. | 我小时候很喜欢扮演新娘 |
| [18:42] | Me too. | 我也是 |
| [18:44] | I mean,I was the groom. | 我的意思是 我扮演新郎 |
| [18:47] | Most of the time. | 大部分时间里 |
| [18:50] | You think you’ll ever get married again? | 你觉得你还会再结婚吗? |
| [18:52] | I don’t know.I hope so. | 我不知道 希望吧 |
| [18:55] | You should because you’d make a good husband. | 你应该再婚 因为你会是个好丈夫的 |
| [18:57] | You’re kind,considerate,dependable and you’re cuter than a duck wearing a hat. | 你人好 体贴 靠得住 而且你比戴帽子的小鸭儿还可爱 |
| [19:05] | Oh,come on,Charlie, we need our privacy. | 哦 查理 我们需要自己的空间 |
| [19:08] | But they’re my family. | 但他们是我的家人 |
| [19:09] | I can’t just kick them out. -what? | -我不能就那么把他们踢出去 -什么? |
| [19:11] | You could’ve said something before now. | 你应该在今天之前把这个说清楚 |
| [19:13] | Who knew your idea of marriage was you and me alone in a house? | 我怎么知道你结婚的意思就是 只有你和我呆在一幢房子里? |
| [19:18] | i don’t believable it | 我简直不敢相信 |
| [19:19] | As long as I’ve known you,you’ve been complaining about Alan living with you. | 从我认识你开始 你就一直抱怨艾伦跟你住在一起 |
| [19:22] | And you want to take that away from me? | 那你就想把那个从我身边夺走吗? |
| [19:24] | You know what?I thought you were ready to grow up but clearly I was wrong. | 你知道吗?我以为你已经长大了 但是很明显我错了 |
| [19:28] | What’s more grown up than wanting to take care of my family? | 像照顾自己的家人 难道不算长大? |
| [19:32] | Let’s not forget,you’re the one who came back to me. | 咱们别忘了 是你回来找我的 |
| [19:34] | I only came back because I wanted your sperm. | 我回来找你 仅仅因为我想要你的精子 |
| [19:37] | Yeah,well,it’s a package deal. | 是吗 好吧 这是个配套交易 |
| [19:39] | My sperm and my brother go hand in hand. | 要的话 就得要我跟我兄弟 |
| [19:46] | Kandi,this is so sudden. | 康迪 这太突然了 |
| [19:49] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [19:49] | But lots of good things are sudden. | 但是很多好事都来得很突然 |
| [19:51] | Like sun showers,orgasms. | 像太阳雨啦 高潮啦 |
| [19:55] | That’s two things. | 那是两回事 |
| [19:57] | Multiple orgasms. | 多重高潮 |
| [20:00] | That’s five. | 可是有五重那么厉害 |
| [20:04] | All right,deal’s off. Let’s get out of here. | 好啦 婚礼吹了 咱们走吧 |
| [20:07] | Hang on.Are you really serious about this? | 等一下 你是认真的吗? |
| [20:09] | You love me,I love you, the sex is great. | 你喜欢我 我也喜欢你 我们之间嘿咻一定很棒 |
| [20:12] | The sex is unbelievable. | 嘿咻还真给力啊 |
| [20:15] | Wait,what’d you say? | 等一下 你刚刚说什么了? |
| [20:17] | I said the wedding’s off. | 我说这个婚我不结了 |
| [20:19] | Oh,my God,what happened? | 哦天哪 发生什么事了? |
| [20:22] | It doesn’t matter. | 那已经不重要了 |
| [20:23] | What’s important is I just avoided making a huge mistake. | 重要的是我刚刚避开了 一个特大的错误 |
| [20:26] | Charlie,I am so sorry. | 查理 我真为你感到难过 |
| [20:28] | Oh,thanks. | 哦 谢谢 |
| [20:29] | Now let’s head for a strip joint, get drunk and let the healing begin. | 咱们去脱衣舞夜总会吧 喝个痛快 开始疗伤 |
| [20:32] | Yeah,but before we do that, I was wondering could I ask you for a little favor. | 好吧 但是我们去之前 我想知道 你能帮我个小忙吗? |
| [20:37] | Yeah? | 什么事? |
| [20:38] | Can I borrow your wedding ring? | 我能借用你的结婚戒指吗? |
| [20:39] | What for? | 做什么用? |
| [20:41] | Well,I thought as long as we’re in Vegas,I’d marry Kandi. | 哦 我想如果既然我们来拉斯维加斯 我想跟康迪结婚 |
| [20:48] | Are you insane? | 你疯了吗? |
| [20:51] | Oh,come on,you’re not using it. | 快点 反正你现在用不上了 |
| [20:58] | By the powers vested in me by the state of Nevada… | 借内达华州赋予我的权力 |
| [21:01] | I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride. | 我宣布你们正式结为合法夫妻 你现在可以吻新娘了 |
| [21:07] | I don’t freaking believe it. | 我简直不敢相信 |
| [21:12] | Cheer up,Charlie. | 振作点 查理 |
| [21:13] | You’re finally getting what you always wanted. | 现在你终于得到你一直想要的了 |
| [21:15] | I’m moving out of your house. | 我要从你家里搬出去了 |
| [21:20] | I don’t freaking believe it. | 我简直不敢相信 |