| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | I have a question. | 我想问个问题 |
| [00:06] | Yeah? | 什么 |
| [00:07] | How smart do you have to be to have sex? | 一个人要多聪明才能做爱呢 |
| [00:11] | Well, actually… | 事实上… |
| [00:12] | Uh-uh-uh… | 不行不行不行… |
| [00:14] | Can I…? | 这个问题嘛… |
| [00:15] | Uh-uh-uh… | 不行不行不行… |
| [00:16] | But I was… | 我觉得… |
| [00:17] | Uh-uh-uh! | 不行不行不行 |
| [00:19] | Oh, come on. | 有啥大不了的… |
| [00:19] | Uh-uh-uh! | 不行不行不行 |
| [00:25] | Why do you ask? | 你为什么问这个 |
| [00:27] | Mom’s boyfriend’s a doctor. | 妈妈的男朋友是个医生 |
| [00:28] | Yeah? | 是啊 |
| [00:30] | And doctors are supposed to be smart, right? | 医生一般都很聪明 对吧 |
| [00:32] | Not as smart as they think they are, but, uh… | 没他们自认为那么聪明… |
| [00:34] | but go ahead. | 你继续说. |
| [00:35] | Well, when I’m in bed, | 那个 我在睡觉时 |
| [00:37] | I can hear them in bed. | 能听见他们做爱的声音 |
| [00:38] | Oh, God. | 哦 天哪 |
| [00:39] | Oh, boy. | 哦 这个好玩 |
| [00:39] | Oh, goody. | 爽啊 |
| [00:43] | And Mom’s always telling him that | 妈妈老是说 |
| [00:44] | he doesn’t know what he’s doing. | 他压根不知道自己在干吗 |
| [00:47] | How much do I love this kid? | 这孩子太有意思了 |
| [00:50] | Don’t interrupt, Charlie. | 别打岔 查理 |
| [00:52] | Go on, sweetheart. | 继续说 亲爱的 |
| [00:54] | So I’m thinking sex must be a lot harder than I figured. | 所以我觉得做爱可能比我想象的更有难度 |
| [00:57] | I mean, she has to tell him the same thing every night. | 你看 她每天都告诉他同样的事 |
| [01:00] | Every night, you say? | 你说 每天晚上 |
| [01:02] | Berta. | 贝塔 |
| [01:03] | You had a semi-annual | 你好像每半年才能和她嘿咻一次吧 |
| [01:04] | subscription, didn’t you? | 对吧 |
| [01:07] | Come on, you guys, please? | 你们这些家伙 拜托 |
| [01:10] | Can’t help you. Sorry, no. | 不行哦 不好意思 |
| [01:13] | Look, Jake, it’s, | 听着 杰克 事实上 |
| [01:15] | it’s not that you have to be particularly smart to have sex. | 做爱不需要多高的智商 |
| [01:17] | Yeah, look at your dad. | 是啊 看看你爹 |
| [01:20] | Jinx, you owe me a Coke. | 心有灵犀一点通啊 |
| [01:23] | Think of it this way. | 你要这样想 |
| [01:25] | Suppose you like banana cream pie. | 打比方你喜欢香蕉奶油派 |
| [01:26] | I do like banana cream pie. | 我就是喜欢香蕉奶油派啊 |
| [01:28] | Well, good. | 那好吧 |
| [01:29] | Do we have any? | 你有吗 |
| [01:30] | No. | 没有 |
| [01:32] | Well, then, why’d you bring it up? | 那你为啥提这个 |
| [01:34] | I was trying to tell you something about sex. | 我是想告诉你一些关于性爱的事情 |
| [01:36] | What does pie have to do with sex? | 派和性爱有什么关系 (想想《美国派》就知道了^-^) |
| [01:39] | Can I jump in…? | 我来补充两句…? |
| [01:40] | Uh-uh-uh! | 不行不行不行 |
| [01:42] | How about me? | 我来说说 |
| [01:43] | Excuse me, but if I can’t talk, | 不好意思 如果我不准讲话 |
| [01:44] | you can’t talk. | 你也不准哦 |
| [01:45] | Am I right, Alan? | 对吧 艾伦? |
| [01:47] | Anyway… | 不管怎样… |
| [01:49] | If you don’t tell me | 如果你不告诉我你喜欢香蕉奶油派 |
| [01:50] | you like banana cream pie and I keep bringing home | 而我每次回家都给你带别的东西… |
| [01:53] | something else… But I just told you I like it. | 但我刚刚告诉你我喜欢啊 |
| [01:55] | You want to know | 你想知道你 |
| [01:57] | what kind of pie your Uncle Charlie likes? | 查理伯伯喜欢怎样的派吗 |
| [01:58] | Uh-uh! | 不行不行 |
| [01:59] | Oh, come on, I… | 拜托 我只是… |
| [02:01] | Uh-uh-uh! | 不行不行不行 |
| [02:03] | I’m guessing cherry. | 我猜是樱桃 |
| [02:04] | Uh-uh-uh! | 不行不行不行 |
| [02:08] | Please, I’ve got this. | 拜托 我知道该怎么说 |
| [02:10] | You’ve got squat. | 你懂个屁 |
| [02:13] | At this rate, the kid’s only | 照这样下去 这孩子只能 |
| [02:15] | gonna get a stiffie at Marie Callendar’s. | 对着Marie Callendar餐馆的菜单勃起了 （此餐馆的特色菜是派…） |
| [02:17] | Okay. Okay. | 好了好了 |
| [02:19] | Forget the pie. | 咱别说派了 |
| [02:21] | Uncle Charlie said “stiffie.” | 查理伯伯刚说”勃起”了哦 |
| [02:25] | Yeah, I heard him. | 是啊 我听到了 |
| [02:26] | My point is, you don’t have to worry | 我的意思是 你不用 |
| [02:29] | about being smart enough to have sex, okay? | 担心智商和做爱的关系 好吧 |
| [02:30] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [02:34] | In fact, there are times | 事实上 很多时候 |
| [02:36] | when brains and imagination are a distinct disadvantage. | 大脑和想象力都能成为做爱的障碍 |
| [02:40] | Like when you’ve been married for 12 years | 比如你结婚12年了 |
| [02:42] | and you’re only allowed to do | 每次做爱都只能做 |
| [02:43] | the same three things over and over again. | 同样的三件事 一遍又一遍 |
| [02:46] | In exactly the same way | 同样的姿势 |
| [02:48] | and exactly the same order. | 同样的顺序 |
| [02:49] | like you were some kind of unthinking machine | 就好像你是没大脑的做爱机器 |
| [02:51] | or a trained fricking monkey. | 或是个训练好了的猴子 |
| [02:57] | Okay. Honestly, how much more damage could we have caused? | 好吧 你看 我俩可不能解释得比你还糟糕了 |
| [03:02] | I bet monkeys like banana cream pie. | 我觉得猴子肯定喜欢香蕉奶油派 |
| [03:39] | Hi, honey. | 嘿 亲爱的 |
| [03:40] | Hi, Mom. What’s in the box? | 嘿 妈妈 盒子里面是什么 |
| [03:41] | Banana cream pie. | 香蕉奶油派 |
| [03:45] | You bought him a whole pie? | 你给他买了一整块儿派? |
| [03:47] | I bought him two pies. | 我给他买了两块 |
| [03:50] | Why would you do that? | 你为什么要这样做 |
| [03:52] | It seemed easier than explaining to him that his mother’s fianc? | 因为这样好过要向他解释 |
| [03:55] | isn’t really a sexual moron. | 他老妈的未婚夫是个性爱白痴 |
| [03:58] | Oh, hey, Alan. | 你好 艾伦 |
| [03:59] | Herb Herb. | |
| [04:00] | Why is Jake eating pie in the bathroom? | 为什么杰克在厕所里吃派 |
| [04:03] | Not now, not now. | 现在先别说这个 |
| [04:04] | What are you talking about? | 你在说啥呢 |
| [04:06] | Jake can hear you two in bed. | 杰克能听到你们做爱的声音 |
| [04:09] | Oh, God. | 哦 天哪 |
| [04:11] | Oh, God. | 哦 天哪 |
| [04:12] | He didn’t hear that. | 这种叫床声没听到吧 |
| [04:21] | Um… | 呃… |
| [04:22] | Wh-What, what did he say to you? | 他 他跟你说什么了 |
| [04:24] | Well, uh, basically he’s worried that when he grows up, | 事实上他在担心他长大后 |
| [04:27] | he won’t be smart enough to have sex | 智商不够做爱用 |
| [04:29] | Why would he think that? | 他为什么这么想呢 |
| [04:31] | Because he hears you giving Herb instructions | 因为他听到你给Herb各种指示 |
| [04:33] | like he’s a blind guy in a mine field. | 就好像他在瞎子摸象 啥都不知道一样 |
| [04:41] | You think that’s funny? | 你觉得这很好笑吗 |
| [04:42] | No. | 不 |
| [04:48] | Well, I will talk to him. | 好吧 我会和他谈谈的 |
| [04:50] | No, no. Trust me, talking only makes it worse. | 不 不 相信我 和他谈谈只会让事情更糟糕 |
| [04:52] | Charlie and I tried. | 查理和我试过了 |
| [04:53] | Oh, great, Charlie knows about this? | 我晕 查理也知道这事儿了 |
| [04:55] | That’s not the point, Judith. The point is, | 这不是重点 Judith 重点是 |
| [04:56] | you need to be a little less vocal. | 你要声音小一点 |
| [04:58] | Maybe do what you did with me and smack him | 或许你可以在高潮快来的时候 |
| [05:00] | on the back of the head when he goes off course. | 猛锤他的后背 |
| [05:02] | She does that, too. | 她已经试过了 |
| [05:06] | Well, um… | 那这个嘛… |
| [05:07] | Thank you, Alan, I will take care of this. | 谢谢 艾伦 我会搞定的 |
| [05:13] | Um… | 嗯… |
| [05:14] | I’m sorry to dump this on you. | 不好意思让你受累了 |
| [05:16] | Oh, that’s okay. | 没关系 |
| [05:17] | I mean, you know, I’m, I’m not judging. | 我说 我觉得啊 我没别的意思啊 |
| [05:19] | I’ve been in your position. | 我也和你有过相同的遭遇 |
| [05:21] | Well, she only likes the one. | 她只喜欢一种体位 |
| [05:27] | Yeah, yeah. Been there, done that. | 是啊是啊 深有体会 |
| [05:29] | Mm-hmm. | 嗯 |
| [05:30] | Or, more correctly, | 更准确地说 |
| [05:31] | Uh, been there, told I was doing that wrong. | 我那样做了 她还告诉我说我错了 |
| [05:33] | Oh, yeah. | 哦 对啊 |
| [05:35] | The truth is, I, uh… | 但事实上 我觉得… |
| [05:37] | I kind of like the instructions. | 我还是比较喜欢听她指挥我怎么做 |
| [05:38] | It takes out all the guesswork. | 这样就不用我自己去想了 |
| [05:40] | Sure. Sure. | 那是那是 |
| [05:42] | I tend to meander when I don’t have, you know, a game plan. | 如果没有指挥的话 我每次就得瞎弄 |
| [05:46] | Yeah, well, that’s never a problem with Judith. | 和朱迪丝做爱时就不会有这个问题 |
| [05:48] | She’s the Vince Lombardi of sexual intercourse. | 她是个性爱指导大使 |
| [05:51] | Well, she did teach me to play through the pain. | 是啊 她还告诉我怎么做就不疼 |
| [05:56] | Yeah. Tape it up and get back in there. | 是啊 戴上套子再来一遍 |
| [06:00] | Say good-bye, Herb. | 跟他说再见 Herb |
| [06:02] | Bye. Bye. | 再见 再见 |
| [06:07] | (…throws it to the quarterback and Miller has gotta stand back.) | (…传给后分卫 Miller 从后面赶上.) |
| [06:10] | (He’s got it at the one-yard line!) | (他已经到达一线 ) |
| [06:13] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [06:14] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [06:15] | How’d it go with Judith? | 跟朱迪丝谈得怎么样 |
| [06:16] | It was the most awkward and uncomfortable conversation | 这是我人生中 |
| [06:20] | I’ve had in my life. | 最糗最尴尬的一次谈话 |
| [06:22] | Huh. More awkward than when you were a kid | 哦 比你小时候要想妈妈解释 |
| [06:24] | and had to explain to Mom why you were hiding | 你为什么在袜子抽屉里 |
| [06:26] | a slab of raw liver in your sock drawer? | 放了个生猪肝还糗吗 |
| [06:31] | Okay, the second most awkward. | 好吧 这是第二糗啦 |
| [06:32] | What about when she found the warm cantaloupe | 那比上次她发现 |
| [06:35] | with a face drawn on it? | 你在甜瓜上画人脸还糗吗 |
| [06:36] | All right, this was in the top five. | 好吧 但这事儿也算糗事儿前五名了 |
| [06:39] | I mean… | 我说… |
| [06:40] | it’s just unnatural for a guy to have to tell his ex-wife | 一个男人要告诉他前妻她和别的男人做爱时 声音要小一点 |
| [06:43] | to pipe down while she’s having sex with another man. | 这是不是有点怪异啊 |
| [06:46] | I’ll tell you what’s unnatural. | 我来告诉你什么叫怪异 |
| [06:47] | The look on that melon’s face. | 你在甜瓜上画的那张脸 |
| [06:52] | Fruit should not look surprised. | 水果咋能长成那幅德行 |
| [07:04] | You’re the one who gave me that idea. | 是你告诉我怎么画的 |
| [07:06] | I was joking. | 我在逗你玩儿呢 |
| [07:08] | You told me it was what the astronauts do. | 你说宇航员们就是这么画的 |
| [07:10] | Oh, right. | 哦 对哦 |
| [07:14] | That’s how I got you to pee in the Tang jar. | 我还要你在罐子里撒尿 |
| [07:19] | Oh, and let’s not forget | 还有 |
| [07:21] | how I convinced you Mom’s douche bag was your air supply. | 我还告诉你妈妈的灌气袋是你的氧气袋 |
| [07:26] | Yeah. Yeah. | 是啊 是啊 |
| [07:28] | My breath smelled like vinegar for two weeks. | 之后两个星期我闻起来都有醋味 |
| [07:33] | Ah… those were innocent times. | 啊 那些年少无知的时光啊 |
| [07:41] | Oh, the kitchen appliances are a little outdated, but you people | 厨房用具有点过时了 |
| [07:44] | can cook with your wrist watches now, can’t you? | 但你们日本人不早发明了能做饭的手表吗 |
| [07:47] | You’re funny. | 你真有意思 |
| [07:48] | You’re a funny firecracker. | 你是个有意思的小鞭炮 |
| [07:52] | Mom? | 妈 |
| [07:53] | Oh. Charlie. | 哦 查理. |
| [07:54] | Say hello to Hiroshi Goto. | 这位是Hiroshi Goto |
| [07:56] | Hi. Hello. | 你好 你好 |
| [07:58] | Charlie is my number one son. | 查理是我大儿子 |
| [08:01] | Yeah, but she treats me like number two. | 是啊 但她把我当便便 |
| [08:06] | Mom, can I talk to you for a minute? | 妈 我能和你谈谈吗 |
| [08:08] | Well, of course, darling. | 当然可以 亲爱的 |
| [08:09] | Hiroshi, why don’t you go | Hiroshi 你为何你去阳台上 |
| [08:10] | enjoy the view from the deck? | 欣赏海景 |
| [08:12] | There’s usually pretty girls | 海滩上经常会有很多美女 |
| [08:13] | playing volleyball out on the beach. | 在玩排球哦 |
| [08:15] | Oh. I like volleyball. | 哦 我喜欢排球 |
| [08:20] | All right, here’s what you need to know. | 好吧 你只要知道这些就行了 |
| [08:22] | He’s filthy rich and he’s looking for a house on the beach | 他超级有钱 想在海边买栋房子 |
| [08:24] | and I have nothing to show him. | 但我没别的房子可以给他看 |
| [08:26] | So you’re selling him my house? | 所以你就把我的房子卖给他 |
| [08:28] | Don’t worry. I told him you were going through an ugly divorce, | 别担心 我告诉他你正被离婚弄得焦头烂额 |
| [08:31] | but before we close escrow, you’ll reconcile with Sheryl | 但在我们签约前 你会和sheryl和好 |
| [08:34] | and back out of the sale. | 房子就不用卖了 |
| [08:36] | Who’s Sheryl? | Sheryl是谁? |
| [08:38] | She is a sweet, selfless girl | 她是一位甜美无私的女孩 |
| [08:41] | who worked nights to put you through law school | 她辛勤工作就是为了供你上法学院 |
| [08:44] | while you were sleeping with her sister. | 但你却和她妹妹睡了 |
| [08:48] | Anyway, I have to string Mr. Goto along until I have | 是这样 在我有房子给他看之前 |
| [08:51] | something to show him that actually is for sale. | 我要把他拖住 |
| [08:53] | Oh, I understand. | 哦 我懂了 |
| [08:55] | It’s called a bait-and-switch and it’s a felony. | 这叫调包计 这可是重罪啊 |
| [08:58] | Oh, well, look at you taking the moral high ground. | 噢 你就别给我装清高了 |
| [09:03] | And with nary a bottle or whore in sight. | 你又酗酒 又嫖妓 |
| [09:07] | Bravo. | 耶~ |
| [09:08] | Uh, excuse me, why is there an Asian man on the deck? | 不好意思 怎么会有个亚洲男人在阳台上 |
| [09:12] | Mom’s selling my house. | 妈妈在卖我的房子 |
| [09:14] | Why? | 为何 |
| [09:15] | Marital problems. | 婚姻问题 |
| [09:17] | You cheating bastard. | 你这个搞外遇的王八蛋 |
| [09:21] | Do I have to find another place to live? | 我是不是要找别的地方住了 |
| [09:22] | Yes. | 对 |
| [09:25] | Don’t worry, sweetheart. | 别担心 亲爱的 |
| [09:26] | Mommy’s just running a little scam. | 妈咪只是在耍点小计谋 |
| [09:29] | But feel free to find another place to live. | 但你还是可以找别的地方住 |
| [09:31] | Anyway, what’s new? | 好吧 有什么新闻吗 |
| [09:33] | How’s my grandson? | 我孙子怎么样 |
| [09:34] | Oh, he’s, he’s fine. | 哦 他不错 |
| [09:36] | Oh, come on, Alan, tell her about the pie. | 哦 艾伦 告诉她关于派的事情 |
| [09:40] | What pie? | 什么派 |
| [09:41] | There’s no pie. | 没什么派 |
| [09:43] | Jake overheard his mother… | 杰克偷听到他妈妈… |
| [09:47] | It’s nothing. | 没啥没啥 |
| [09:48] | I just had to have a rather embarrassing conversation | 昨天我刚刚和朱迪丝进行了 |
| [09:51] | with Judith yesterday. | 一次超级糗的谈话 |
| [09:52] | More embarrassing than when you were 11 years old, | 难道比你十一岁时 |
| [09:54] | and I caught you with the dog and the peanut butter. | 我发现你用花生酱来引诱狗狗来舔你的小弟弟 还糗吗 |
| [10:00] | You went and did that, too? | 你还真照我说的去做了 |
| [10:02] | You told me it was what the cowboys did on a cattle drive. | 你说牛仔在放牛的时候就是这么做的 |
| [10:07] | And I didn’t have a cow. | 我当时又没有牛 |
| [10:10] | Is that why you got rid of our dog? | 这就是你为什么扔掉了我们的狗狗的原因吗 |
| [10:12] | I couldn’t look at him anymore. | 我看都不想看它了 |
| [10:18] | Can we move on? Please? | 我们是否能继续 |
| [10:19] | I’m sorry, dear. Now, what about Jake? | 不好意思 亲爱的 Jake怎么了 |
| [10:21] | I loved that dog. | 我好喜欢那只狗狗的~ |
| [10:24] | Well, not as much as your brother did. | 没你弟弟喜欢 |
| [10:27] | But go ahead, Alan, what did you have to talk to Judith about? | 继续说 艾伦你和朱迪丝谈了些什么 |
| [10:31] | Nothing. Forget it. | 没啥 别提了 |
| [10:32] | Oh, come on, Alan. | 说嘛说嘛 艾伦. |
| [10:34] | The dog whisperer here got bent all out of shape | 这位爱狗者已经焦头烂额 |
| [10:37] | ’cause Jake caught his mother going at it | 因为杰克听到他妈妈 |
| [10:39] | with her new boyfriend. | 和她新男朋友做爱 |
| [10:40] | That’s it? He just heard them? | 是吗 他只是听到了而已 |
| [10:41] | That’s not enough to traumatize him? | 这样造成的伤害还不够吗 |
| [10:43] | Absolutely not. | 当然不 |
| [10:45] | See, Alan, I told you. | 艾伦 我早说了嘛 |
| [10:46] | You would know, Charlie. | 你应该知道的啊 查理. |
| [10:48] | What do you mean? | 你说啥 |
| [10:49] | You don’t remember? | 你不记得了 |
| [10:51] | Remember what? | 记得什么 |
| [10:53] | Nothing. | 没啥 |
| [10:56] | I like it! | 我喜欢这房子 |
| [10:57] | Of course you do. | 你当然会喜欢 |
| [10:59] | Let me show you the master suite. | 让我来带你看看主卧室 |
| [11:01] | That’s where she caught him. | 那就是捉奸在床的地方 |
| [11:03] | Ah, cheating bastard. | 啊 这个搞外遇的王八蛋 |
| [11:08] | What am I supposed to remember? | 我记得什么啊 |
| [11:10] | I was the only one that gave that dog | 我是唯一一个 |
| [11:12] | any kind of attention. | 对那狗狗好的人 |
| [11:19] | No… | 不… |
| [11:29] | I remember. | 我记起来了 |
| [11:48] | Charlie? | 查理? |
| [11:50] | Yeah? | 怎么 |
| [11:51] | What are you doing? | 你在干吗 |
| [11:54] | Drinking. | 喝酒 |
| [11:56] | Why are you doing it here? | 为什么在这儿喝 |
| [12:00] | I can’t be alone right now. | 因为我不想独处 |
| [12:02] | Okay. What’s going on? | 好吧 咋了 |
| [12:06] | I remembered, Alan. | 我记起来了 艾伦 |
| [12:10] | Remembered what? | 记起什么了 |
| [12:12] | I was eight years old, it was late at night. | 我八岁的时候 一天深夜 |
| [12:17] | I must have had a bad dream or something | 我从噩梦中醒来 |
| [12:19] | ’cause I walked into Mom’s room and I saw them. | 我走进妈妈的卧室 我看到他们 |
| [12:22] | Saw who? | 看到谁 |
| [12:25] | Mom and some guy. | 妈妈和某个男人 |
| [12:28] | They didn’t hear me at first | 他们开始都没听到我 |
| [12:30] | ’cause the water bed was making a lot of sloshing noises. | 因为水床发出了水的声音 |
| [12:33] | At least I hope it was the water bed. | 至少我希望是水床发出的 |
| [12:37] | Oh, yeah, Mom’s water bed. | 哦 对啊 妈妈的水床 |
| [12:40] | Remember how we used to bounce | 还记得我们在床上跳来跳去 |
| [12:41] | up and down on it playing lumberjack and…? | 玩蹦蹦床吗 |
| [12:43] | Will you forget the damn bed?! | 别说那床啦 |
| [12:45] | The bed’s not important. | 那不是重点 |
| [12:47] | Sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [12:50] | Anyway, | 不管怎样 |
| [12:51] | at some point they realized I was standing there, | 他们后来发现我站在那里了 |
| [12:54] | and the guy said to me, “Don’t worry, Speed Racer, | 然后那男的对我说 “别担心 超音速战士 |
| [12:58] | I’m not hurting your mom.” | 我没有伤害你妈妈” |
| [13:00] | Speed Racer? | 超音速战士? |
| [13:02] | Remember, I had the Speed Racer pajamas? | 你记得我的睡衣上画着超音速战士吗 |
| [13:05] | Oh, yeah, yeah, our Christmas pajamas. | 哦 对啊对啊 我们圣诞节时拿到的睡衣 |
| [13:07] | Yeah, you got Speed Racer and I got Laverne & Shirley. | 是啊 你的是超音速战士 我的是美少女战士 |
| [13:10] | So typical. | 每次都这样 |
| [13:14] | This is not about you, Alan! | 这和你无关 艾伦 |
| [13:16] | This is about a horrible moment in my life | 这是我人生中一段黑暗的记忆 |
| [13:18] | that I completely repressed: | 被我压抑的记忆 |
| [13:20] | Mom and the man with the big red mustache. | 妈妈和那个有着大红胡子的男人 |
| [13:24] | Oh, God. | 哦 天哪 |
| [13:26] | I just realized why Yosemite Sam always made me nauseous. | 我刚记起来为什么Yosemite Sam (一红胡子卡通人物)让我觉得恶心了 |
| [13:33] | And I’ll tell you the worst part. | 最糟的是… |
| [13:35] | Worse than Laverne & Shirley pajamas? | 比美少女战士睡衣还糟 |
| [13:36] | Alan… | 艾伦… |
| [13:38] | I am amazed I’m not a raging queen. | 我脾气还真是好 |
| [13:42] | We all are. | 我们都是 |
| [13:47] | Anyway, the next morning I asked Mom what happened | 第二天早上我问妈妈发生什么事情了 |
| [13:51] | and she said she didn’t know what I was talking about. | 她说她不知道我在说什么 |
| [13:53] | And when I kept asking, she threw a shoe at my head. | 然后我一直问 她就朝我扔了只鞋 |
| [13:56] | Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah, the four-inch heels. | 哦 对啊 那双4英寸高的高跟鞋 |
| [13:59] | Oh, she was deadly accurate with those. | 她扔起来百发百中 |
| [14:01] | She could knock a melon out of your hands | 她能百步穿杨啊 |
| [14:03] | from clear across the room. | 弹无虚发 |
| [14:04] | Will you get your mind out of the produce section? | 你能不能不把话题扯远了 |
| [14:08] | I’ve got a problem here. | 我现在有问题了 |
| [14:09] | Come on, Charlie. It happened years ago | 别这样 查理 这事儿过去好多年了 |
| [14:11] | and you turned out… | 你现在也没… |
| [14:13] | Yeah, you got a problem. | 好吧 你是有问题 |
| [14:14] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [14:16] | I got to tell you, | 我告诉你 |
| [14:18] | it does help me feel a little better about Jake. | 这事儿确实让我觉得杰克那事儿 没什么大不了了 |
| [14:20] | I mean, he didn’t see anything, | 至少他没看见什么啊 |
| [14:22] | and at least we haven’t been lying to him | 至少我们不用在性爱方面 |
| [14:24] | about having sex. | 对他撒谎了 |
| [14:25] | No, no, you just taught him to associate sex with pie. | 是啊是啊 你只是教他了派和性爱的关系 |
| [14:29] | Hey, at least I didn’t talk him into | 嘿 至少我没有教他 |
| [14:32] | putting crotchless panties on a Butterball turkey. | 给奶油火鸡穿上丁字内裤啊 |
| [14:35] | Oh, right. | 噢 对 |
| [14:38] | Best Thanksgiving ever. | 那是我最爽的感恩节 |
| [14:41] | You told me it’s how the pilgrims got through the harsh winter. | 你说朝圣者就是用这个方法度过寒冬的 |
| [14:51] | Oh, come on. He’s got to be asleep by now. | 哦 来吧 他肯定睡着了 |
| [14:54] | It doesn’t matter. He could wake up. | 没关系 他会醒来的 |
| [14:56] | So we’ll be quiet. | 那我们小声点 |
| [14:57] | I can’t be quiet. | 我没法儿小声 |
| [14:58] | Oh, come on. Please? | 来吧 我要嘛~~~ |
| [15:01] | Oh, all right. | 那好吧 |
| [15:05] | No, no, not that way. | 不行不行 不是这样的 |
| [15:08] | Slow down! | 慢一点 |
| [15:11] | I’m still awake! | 我还没睡着呢 |
| [15:17] | Are you happy? | 你现在高兴了 |
| [15:18] | I may never be happy again. | 我再也高兴不起来了 |
| [15:21] | Mm, pie. | 嗯 派~ |
| [15:30] | Rose, did you ever suddenly remember something | 罗丝 你有没有这种经历 突然想起 |
| [15:33] | that you blocked out years ago? | 你一直不记得的多年前发生的事情 |
| [15:35] | You mean like a repressed memory? | 你是说压抑性记忆 |
| [15:37] | Yeah. | 对啊 |
| [15:38] | Yeah. You ever had a repressed memory? | 你有没有过压抑性记忆 |
| [15:40] | I forget. | 我忘了 |
| [15:44] | Get it? A little psychology humor. | 听懂了吗 这是个心理学笑话 |
| [15:47] | Freud was the first one to use it. | 是弗洛伊德第一次用的 |
| [15:49] | Aha. | 哦 |
| [15:51] | It’s much funnier in German. | 用德语说更搞笑 |
| [15:52] | Hast due mals gehabt ein unterdrucktes Gedachtnis? | Hast due mals gehabt ein unterdrucktes Gedachtnis? （德语） |
| [15:56] | Ich vergesse. | Ich vergesse. （德语） |
| [16:01] | So what memory did you repress? | 你压抑的记忆是什么 |
| [16:04] | When I was eight, I walked in on my mother having sex. | 我八岁的时候在我妈房间里看到她做爱 |
| [16:09] | Interesting. | 有意思 |
| [16:10] | Interesting? | 有意思 |
| [16:11] | How about devastating, horrifying, traumatizing? | 你不觉得我幼小的心灵受到了严重的创伤吗 |
| [16:15] | Wow. What, was she, like, blindfolded and tied to a bed | 哇 她是不是被绑在床上 双眼被蒙住 |
| [16:19] | while two guys slapped her butt with Ping-Pong paddles? | 两个男人用乒乓球拍打她的屁股 |
| [16:22] | No. | 没有 |
| [16:25] | Hmm. Was she riding around the room on a goat | 嗯 那她是不是骑着一只山羊满屋子跑 |
| [16:29] | while an albino midget dripped honey…? | 一个的白化病的侏儒在她身上滴蜂蜜… |
| [16:31] | No, no! No. | 没有没有没有 |
| [16:34] | It was just sex. | 只是做爱而已 |
| [16:36] | One mother, one man. | 妈妈和一个男人做爱 |
| [16:37] | Boring. | 太无聊了 |
| [16:39] | Oh, come on, Charlie. | 别这样 查理. |
| [16:41] | It’s not an uncommon occurrence. | 没啥大不了的 |
| [16:44] | I myself have walked in on many people having sex. | 我自己也经常看到别人在做爱 |
| [16:47] | Accidentally? | 不小心看到的 |
| [16:48] | My point is, you’ve recovered the memory, | 我的意思是 既然你记起来了 |
| [16:52] | and you can get on with your life. | 就应该继续过日子 |
| [16:54] | No, I can’t. | 不行 我做不到 |
| [16:57] | What if it’s not the only repressed memory? | 但如果还有别的压抑性记忆呢 |
| [17:00] | What else is lying just below the surface | 我随时会 |
| [17:03] | ready to burst into my consciousness? | 想起的可怕的事情呢 |
| [17:05] | Am I going to wake up tonight remembing | 我今晚会不会一觉醒来 |
| [17:07] | my mother in the shower with my Uncle Donald? | 记起来我妈和Donald叔叔一起洗澡 |
| [17:09] | Who I suddenly realized wasn’t really my uncle? | 然后发现其实我应该叫我爸”叔叔” |
| [17:15] | Sounds like you don’t have to worry about that one anymore. | 你好象已经记起来一件了 |
| [17:17] | Oh, God, it’s all coming back. | 哦 天哪 全都会记起来的 |
| [17:20] | Uncle Donald, Uncle Steve… | Donald叔叔 Steve舅舅… |
| [17:23] | Uncle Jorge. | Jorge伯伯 |
| [17:27] | I bet I wasn’t related to any of those guys. | 他们可能都不是真正的亲戚. |
| [17:29] | This is all good, Charlie. Keep going. | 没关系 查理. 继续说 |
| [17:31] | Oh, boy. | 天哪 |
| [17:32] | What? | 咋了 |
| [17:34] | Not only was Aunt Wendy not my aunt, | Wendy阿姨也不是我真的阿姨 |
| [17:37] | there was no snakebite on her boob. | 她胸部上也没有蛇咬的伤痕 |
| [17:45] | Oh, hey. What are you doing here? | 嘿 你们在这干嘛 |
| [17:46] | Uh, well, we were hoping that… | 我们想… |
| [17:49] | Actually, I was hoping that, uh, maybe… | 其实我想 我想… |
| [17:52] | He wants me to stay here tonight | 他想让我在这儿过夜 |
| [17:53] | so he and Mom can have sex. | 这样他和妈妈就能做爱了 |
| [17:55] | Oh. Jake, I’m sure that’s not the reason, right, Herb? | 杰克 肯定不是这样的啦 对吧 Herb? |
| [17:59] | No, that’s pretty much it. | 就是这样 |
| [18:02] | Excuse me. | 不好意思 |
| [18:04] | Where are you going? | 你去哪里 |
| [18:06] | To tell Mom that her indiscriminate bed-hopping | 去告诉妈妈她的床上生活 |
| [18:08] | has scarred me for life. | 已经对我幼小的心灵造成了严重的创伤 |
| [18:11] | Jury’s still out on me. | 放心我还没那么严重 |
| [18:23] | What do you want, Charlie? | 你要干嘛 Charlie? |
| [18:25] | We need to talk. | 我要和你谈谈 |
| [18:27] | You should have called first. | 你应该先打个电话 |
| [18:28] | I’m a little under the weather. | 我现在没心情和你谈 |
| [18:30] | Yeah, well, I’m not feeling so great myself. | 好吧 我也不爽啊 |
| [18:33] | I’ve started remembering things. | 我开始想起一些事情 |
| [18:34] | Well, call the poor girls, | 那你就打电话给那个可怜的女孩 |
| [18:36] | apologize and stop drinking so much. | 跟她道歉 还有下次别喝那么多了 |
| [18:38] | No, I’m remembering things about you. | 不 我是记起了一些关于你的事情 |
| [18:42] | Things from my childhood. | 童年往事 |
| [18:46] | Wait a minute. What are you doing? | 等等 你干吗啊 |
| [18:47] | You can’t even look at me, can you? | 你根本不敢看我是吧 |
| [18:51] | I don’t care what you think you remember. | 我不管你记起了什么 |
| [18:54] | I was a terrific mother who loved you | 总之我是个好妈妈 |
| [18:56] | even though you were a horrible little boy. | 而你是个坏小孩儿 |
| [18:59] | Now go away. | 现在给我滚蛋 |
| [19:02] | Mom, this is important! | 妈 这很重要 |
| [19:05] | Mom? | 妈妈 |
| [19:09] | You ruined Yosemite Sam for me! | 你把Yosemite Sam在我心目中的形象给毁了 |
| [19:16] | Dagnabit, this isn’t over. | 这事儿我跟你没完 |
| [19:30] | Oh, God! | 哦 天哪 |
| [19:31] | Charlie? | 查理? |
| [19:34] | Don’t worry, slugger. I’m not hurting your mother. | 别担心 多拉A梦 我没伤害你妈妈 |
| [19:43] | OK,i have to catch my bus. | 好了 我要去赶公车了 |
| [19:47] | Good night, Berta. | 晚安 贝塔 |
| [19:48] | Hey, Dad, guess what I found in Mom’s bedroom. | 爸 猜我在妈妈房间里发现了什么 |
| [19:51] | You know what? I’ll take a cab. | 我等会打的去 |
| [19:53] | An empty canof whipped cream. | 一只空奶油盒子 |
| [19:55] | Whipped cream. No kidding? | 奶油 不会吧 |
| [19:59] | Yep. And you know what I’m thinking? | 是啊 你知道我怎么样的吗 |
| [20:00] | I know what I’m thinking. | 你知道我怎么想的吗 |
| [20:01] | Uh-uh-uh! | 不行不行不行 |
| [20:04] | What? | 怎么 |
| [20:06] | Either whipped cream has something to do with sex, | 要么这奶油和性爱有关 |
| [20:08] | or Mom hides pie in her nightstand, too. | 要么妈妈也偷偷在床头柜里藏了派 |
| [20:11] | Hey, a gal can do both. | 嘿 两者皆有可能 |
| [20:12] | Uh-uh-uh! | 不行不行不行 |
| [20:14] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [20:16] | Hey, what happened to you? | 你咋地了 |
| [20:18] | What are you talking about? | 我怎么了啊 |
| [20:20] | I thought you went to Mom’s. | 我以为你去妈妈家了 |
| [20:22] | No. | 没 |
| [20:23] | Then where were you? | 那你去哪儿了 |
| [20:25] | I don’t remember. | 我不记得了 |
| [20:26] | What do you mean, you don’t remember? | 什么 你不记得了 |
| [20:28] | It’s called a repressed memory. | 这叫压抑性记忆 |
| [20:30] | Now drop it! | 别提了 |
| [20:38] | Any one of you you lily-livered, bowlegged varmints care | 你们有哪个不怕死的 |
| [20:42] | to slap leather with me?! | 敢跟我单挑吗 |
| [20:44] | I’m the hootinest, tootinest, shootinest | 我是宇宙第一超强 |
| [20:47] | bobtailed wildcat! | 大野猫 |
| [20:51] | I’m the fastest gun north, south, east and west | 我射的超快 东西南北就属我最牛逼 |