时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:04] | taste this. | 尝一下这个 |
[00:06] | I don’t need to taste it. It’s a chocolate laxative. | 我不需要尝 这就是巧克力口味的泻药 |
[00:09] | I think it needs more caramel. | 我想再来点焦糖 |
[00:14] | I’m telling you, alan, one of these days that kid’s gonna fart | 告诉你 艾伦 那孩子总有一天放的臭屁 |
[00:17] | and birds are gonna fall out of the sky. | 连鸟都要被熏得从天上掉下来 |
[00:20] | Funny. Uh, listen. | 有意思 呃 听我说 |
[00:22] | -How much is a hooker? -What? | -找个小姐要多少钱? -什么? |
[00:25] | Alan, what are you gonna do with a hooker? | 艾伦 你要跟小姐做什么啊? |
[00:27] | Well, I’d like to pay her to have sex with me. | 噢 我想付钱让她跟我上床 |
[00:31] | Yeah. But… why? | 没错 可是 为什么啊? |
[00:33] | Well, I’ve been thinking… | 呃 我一直在想 |
[00:34] | I don’t have have a great track record with relationships, | 虽然我过去的感情经历都很失败 |
[00:36] | but I still have desires, so I figure– | 但我仍然有正常的欲望 所以我想 |
[00:39] | why not simplify, get back to basics. | 为什么不简单一些 回归基本的生理需要 |
[00:42] | No relationship, no disappointment, just sex. | 没有感情 没有失望 只要性 |
[00:45] | Well, sex with you, there’s bound to be some disappointment. | 呃 跟你上床 结果必然有些失望 |
[00:50] | I mean, even with a hooker, money only buys you so much goodwill. | 我的意思是 即便是妓女 付钱只能让你没那么讨厌 |
[00:54] | But I don’t have to care. | 但是我不需要在乎啊 |
[00:56] | Because it’s a straight business transaction, the only needs that are important are mine. | 因为这仅仅是个交易 重点是满足我的需要 |
[01:01] | Hey, you don’t have to sell me on it. | 嘿 你不必说服我啊 |
[01:03] | I just never pictured you doing anything this. | 我只是从未想到你要做这种事 |
[01:06] | Me neither. | 我也没想到 |
[01:06] | But you know what’s interesting? | 但你知道搞笑的是什么吗? |
[01:07] | Once I decided to give up trying to live a moral life, I felt somehow free. | 当我决定放弃尝试过正常的生活时 我倒觉得轻松了 |
[01:12] | Again, you don’t have to sell me on it. | 再说一遍 你不必说服我 |
[01:15] | How ch you looking to spend? | 你打算花多少钱? |
[01:17] | Uh, well, as you know, I am a bit of a bargain hunter. | 呃 你也知道 我专买便宜货 |
[01:21] | Yeah, but, unfortunately, they don’t stock hookers at the 99-cent store. | 我知道 但不幸的是 99美分商店里没有小姐卖 |
[01:25] | Give me a number. | 给我个数吧 |
[01:26] | Okay, well, um… | 好吧 呃 |
[01:28] | what could I get in the $200 range? | 200块我能找到什么货色? |
[01:32] | Crabs. | 阴虱 |
[01:35] | And get carjacked. | 和劫车的 |
[01:38] | All right, then… why don’t you give me a number. | -好吧 那你给我个数字吧 -1500块 |
[01:42] | For one night? | 一晚上? |
[01:43] | For one hour. | 一小时 |
[01:45] | One hour? | 一小时? |
[01:46] | I want sex, not surround sound. | 我要性 不是环绕立体声 |
[01:50] | Trust me, it’s worth it. | 相信我 绝对物有所值 |
[01:52] | For that kind of money, you get the girlfriend experience. | 付出这笔钱之后 你就知道怎么对付女人了 |
[01:54] | Haven’t you been listening? | 你没听见吗? |
[01:55] | I don’t want the girlfriend experience. | 我不想要对付女人的经验 |
[01:57] | I want sex–guiltless, emotionless, selfish sex. | 我只要性 –没有负担 不动感情 毫无顾忌的性 |
[02:02] | I understand. | 我明白了 |
[02:03] | At a reasonable price. | 以一个合理的价格 |
[02:05] | Got it. I’m make a few calls, see what I can do. | 明白了 我打几个电话 看看能不能帮上忙 |
[02:07] | That’d be good. | 太好了 |
[02:09] | -And try to get a nonsmoker. -Sure. | -试着找一个不抽烟的 -当然 |
[02:12] | Who wants a girl who would put one of those nasty things in her mouth? | 谁想要连那么恶心的东西 都往嘴里放的女人啊? |
[02:16] | Charlie? Charlie harper? | 查理? 查理 哈珀? |
[02:20] | how are you? | 你好吗? |
[02:21] | Wow, how long has it been? | 喔 我们多久没见了? |
[02:23] | Too long. | 太久了 |
[02:25] | This is my brother alan. | 这是我弟弟艾伦 |
[02:26] | This is my daughter milly. | 这是我女儿米莉 |
[02:28] | -Hi, milly. -Hello, milly. | -嗨 米莉 -你好 米莉 |
[02:29] | Boy, this is some killer crumb cake. Hello. | 天 这蛋糕真好吃 你好 |
[02:35] | Milly, this is my son jake; jake, this is milly. | 米莉 这是我儿子杰克 杰克 这是米莉 |
[02:38] | Want some cake? | 想来点蛋糕吗? |
[02:40] | I dot n’eat sugar. | 我不吃糖的 |
[02:42] | Oh, yeah, me neither, unless it’s in like pies and cookies and stuff. | 是啊 我也是 除非夹在派和饼干什么里 |
[02:45] | -Whatever. -Yeah, whatever. | -管它呢 -嗯 管它呢 |
[02:50] | I play guitar; I’m in a band. | 我弹吉他 在一个乐队 |
[02:51] | They’rcalled the dudes of rockage–heavy metal, classic rock kind of stuff. | 摇滚小子乐队–重金属等经典的东东 |
[02:55] | I’m into gwen stefani. | 我喜欢Gwen Stefani (No Doubt乐队主唱) |
[02:57] | Oh, yeah, they’re great. | 哦 是的 他们很棒 |
[03:01] | You sure you don’t want some cake? | 你真不来点蛋糕了? |
[03:02] | No, thanks. | 不了 谢谢 |
[03:04] | Oh, gee, we have to get going. | 哦 天哪 我们得走了 |
[03:05] | Call me sometime, charlie, | 有时间给我打电话 查理 |
[03:07] | maybe we can get together, have dinner and catch up. | 也许我们可以一起吃个饭 叙叙旧 |
[03:09] | That would be great. | 那太好了 |
[03:10] | Do you still have my number? | 你还有我的电话号码吗? |
[03:11] | I’m-I’m sure I do, but… you know, just in case. | 我 我当然有 但是 还是以防万一 |
[03:17] | Woman: Here you go. | 给你 |
[03:18] | -Pleasure to meet you, alan. -Same here. | -见到你很高兴 艾伦 -我也是 |
[03:23] | Shs emems ce. Who is she? | 她看起来不错啊 她是谁啊? |
[03:26] | I have no frickin’ idea. | 我他妈的哪知道 |
[03:30] | I’ll tell you who she is… | 我告诉你她是谁吧 |
[03:31] | the grandmother of my children. | 我孩子的外婆 |
[03:44] | Uncle Charlie. | 查理伯伯 |
[03:46] | what? | 怎么了? |
[03:47] | Could you do me a favor and call milly’s mom | 你能帮我个忙 给米莉妈妈打个电话 |
[03:49] | and find out if milly likes me? | 打听下米莉喜不喜欢我吗? |
[03:50] | But don’t tell her I asked, ’cause I don’t want to appear needy. | 但别告诉她是我问的 我不想显得很猴急 |
[03:54] | I’m on it. | 没问题 |
[04:03] | You’re not gonna do it, are you? | 你不会帮我的 是吧? |
[04:05] | What was your first clue? | 你直觉呢? |
[04:07] | Come on. Why not? | 拜托 为什么? |
[04:09] | Jake, buddy… | 杰克 哥们儿 |
[04:10] | I don’t even remember who milly’s mom is. | 我甚至不记得米莉妈妈是谁了 |
[04:13] | Calling her will put me in a very awkward position. | 给她打电话会让我很尴尬 |
[04:16] | More awkward than the time I had to pretend to be lost at the mall | 尴尬过那次我假装在商场里迷路 |
[04:18] | so you could meet the cute security guard? | 你好跟那个可爱的女保安搭讪? |
[04:21] | Hey, we both benefited from that. | 嘿 那次我们都得到好处了 |
[04:23] | How do you figure? | 怎么说? |
[04:24] | I got a hot date and you got a hot pretzel. | 我得到个不错的约会 你得到个椒盐脆饼 |
[04:29] | It was an excellent pretzel. | 那个椒盐脆饼太棒了 |
[04:34] | Did you make the call? | 你打电话了吗? |
[04:35] | Geez! | 老天! |
[04:36] | Everybody wants me to pimp for them. | 每个人都想让我帮忙拉皮条 |
[04:41] | I might as well get myself an orange hat, platform shoes and a full-length fur coat. | 我也许该带个橘色的帽子 穿双厚底鞋 再穿件皮大衣 |
[04:45] | Hey, if anybody could pull it off, it’d be you. | 嘿 如果说有人能搞定这种事的话 肯定是你啦 |
[04:49] | did you make the call? | 你打电话了吗? |
[04:52] | Here. Her name’s alexis. | 这儿呢 她叫亚历克西斯 |
[04:54] | She’s expecting to hear from you. | 她等你给她打电话呢 |
[04:56] | Alexis–that-that’s a pretty name. | 亚历克西斯 这 这名字不错 |
[04:58] | They all have pretty names, alan. | 她们的名字都好听 艾伦 |
[05:00] | You’ll meet a hooker named maude. | 你还会遇见妓女叫莫德的 |
[05:03] | Right, right. So, uh… | 是啊 没错 那么 呃 |
[05:05] | so exactly how much are we talking about? | 那么到底说定多少钱了? |
[05:08] | She’s willing to throw you one for 500. | 她乐意500块一次 |
[05:10] | Uh, okay. | 呃 好的 |
[05:13] | can I put it on a credit card? | 我能用信用卡吗? |
[05:16] | A credit card? | 信用卡? |
[05:18] | Where are you planning to swipe it, alan? | 你打算在哪儿刷卡啊 艾伦? |
[05:22] | All right, all right. I was just… hoping to get the miles. | 好的 好的 我只是想刷卡赚里程 |
[05:28] | Forget the miles. | 别想里程了 |
[05:31] | And remember, that 500 does not include the tip. | 记住 那500块不包括小费 |
[05:34] | I have to tip her? | 我还得给她小费? |
[05:35] | You know, in case there’s something you want that might be considered… | 就是 万一你想要的一些服务也许是 |
[05:38] | unusual. | 特别的 |
[05:39] | Oh, yeah. I’m gonna have to tip her. | 哦 没错 我会给她小费的 |
[05:44] | -hey, berta. -Hey, berta. | -你好 贝塔 -你好 贝塔 |
[05:46] | So what you’re saying is that, uh, this is A… | 那么就是说 |
[05:49] | a la carte kind of deal, like a, like a steakhouse? | 这是种套餐 就像 像去餐厅吃牛排? |
[05:53] | What? | 什么? |
[05:55] | As opposed to a, uh… set menu or buffet style. | 不是点菜或自助那种 |
[05:59] | Sure, whatev. | 当然 差不多 |
[06:01] | Should I, uh, mention your name when I call? | 我打电话的时候 呃 应该提你的名字吗? |
[06:03] | Absolutely. | 必须的 |
[06:04] | For every referral, I get a free travel mug. | 每拉一次皮条 我会得到一个旅游杯 |
[06:08] | Terrific. Thank you, charlie. | 太好了 谢谢你 查理 |
[06:10] | Happy to help. | 不客气 |
[06:12] | Zippy getting a hooker? | 活泼小子要找小姐了? |
[06:16] | It would appear so. | 看起来是这样 |
[06:17] | Boy, talk about earning your money. | 天 看看人家怎么赚钱 |
[06:22] | Look, all you got to do is call her mother, talk to her for a few minutes, | 其实 你只需要给她妈妈打个电话 跟她聊个几分钟 |
[06:25] | then ask if milly’s there, and if she is, you hand me the phone. | 然后问一下米莉在不在 如果她在 就把电话递给我 |
[06:28] | You’re not going to let this go, are you? | 你不会忘了这事的 是吧? |
[06:30] | Did you get a look at her? | 你好好看她了吗? |
[06:31] | Jake, buddy, I don’t even know her mother’s name. | 杰克 哥们儿 我甚至不知道她妈妈叫什么 |
[06:34] | So? | 所以呢? |
[06:35] | You don’t know the name of half the girls you bring over. | 你带回家的女人一半的名字你都不知道 |
[06:37] | First month I was here, you called me jack. | 我刚来这儿第一个月 你管我叫杰克 |
[06:42] | all right. All right. | 好的 好的 |
[06:44] | I will call her, dance around the fact that I have no idea who the hell she is, | 我给她打电话 在我根本不记得她是谁的情况下周旋 |
[06:48] | then I’ll hand you the phone. | 然后我就把电话递给你 |
[06:50] | Great. | 太好了 |
[06:51] | -Listen, as long as you’re hooking people… -forget it. | -听我说 既然你在给人拉皮条 -休想 |
[06:54] | Aw, come on. I’m not picky, | 喔 好啦 我不挑剔 |
[06:56] | just find me a young andy griffith. | 给我找个年轻点的安迪·格里菲斯就行 |
[07:01] | Just remember, I’m doing you a favor. | 记着 我是在帮你的忙 |
[07:04] | Don’t forget it in a few years when I ask you to change my diaper. | N年之后当我让你帮我换尿布的时候 可千万别忘了 |
[07:07] | Okay. Wait. What? | 好的 等等 什么? |
[07:12] | It’s charlie. | 我是查理 |
[07:13] | Yeah, it was great to see you too. | 是啊 看见你我也很高兴 |
[07:16] | Listen, let me tell you why I’m calling… | 听我说 我打电话的原因 |
[07:17] | I’m sitting here with my nephew… | 我跟我侄子在一起呢 |
[07:20] | yeah, he does like his cake. | 没错 他是很喜欢蛋糕 |
[07:23] | Remind her I’m in a band. | 提醒她 我加入乐队的事 |
[07:25] | Hang on. | 等一下 |
[07:26] | You gonna let me do this? | 你是让我出头吗? |
[07:27] | You’re rambling. | 可你在瞎扯啊 |
[07:30] | Fine. It’s all yours. | 好啊 那你自己来吧 |
[07:35] | Hello. Is… is milly there? | 你好 呃 米莉在家吗? |
[07:39] | Oh, okay. Well, can you tell her that | 哦 好的 你能告诉她 |
[07:40] | jake harper called–the kid with the band? | 杰克 哈珀来过电话吗–那个在乐队的男孩? |
[07:44] | Really? Sure, I guess so. | 是吗? 我也是这么想的 |
[07:47] | Okay, thanks. Bye. | 好的 谢谢 再见 |
[07:49] | You and me are having dinner with them on friday, so you can catch up. | 这周五你和我去跟她们吃晚饭 你们好叙叙旧 |
[07:53] | You and me? | 你和我? |
[07:55] | Just don’t clock block me, okay? | 别搪塞我好吗? |
[08:01] | “Clock block” you? | “搪塞”你? |
[08:03] | That’s not it? | 不是这么用的吗? |
[08:05] | No, that’s not it. | 不 不是这么用的 |
[08:13] | Jake, let’s go! | 杰克 走了! |
[08:22] | How do I look? | 我看起来怎么样? |
[08:23] | Like you should be knocking on doors, asking people if they’ve heard the good news! | 看起来像你逐个敲门 问人家是否听到好消息了! |
[08:29] | I already told all my friends I have a date. | 我跟我所有的朋友说了我有一个约会 |
[08:33] | I wasn’t going to where the jacket, but the shirt has mustard on the back. | 我本来没打算穿外套 但那件衬衫后面沾上芥末了 |
[08:36] | How did you get mustard on the back of your shirt? | 你衬衫后面怎么能沾上芥末的? |
[08:38] | A kid bet me I cldn’t catch a hot dog behind my back. | 一个小孩打赌说我吃不到放在我背后的热狗 |
[08:41] | It turns out, I couldn’T. | 结果是 我确实不能 |
[08:44] | is that what you’re wearing? | 你就穿这个去吗? |
[08:47] | What’s wrong with it? | 有什么问题吗? |
[08:48] | Nothing, it’s fine. | 没什么 挺好的 |
[08:49] | No, no. No, no, please, mr. Blackwell, | 不不 布莱克威尔先生 |
[08:51] | I want your opinion. | 我想听听你的高见 (时尚毒舌评论家) |
[08:53] | Well, would it kill you to tuck your shirt in? | 好的 把你的衬衫掖进去会死吗? |
[08:55] | I would, but I just sat in some thousand island dressing. | 会啊 那次千岛沙拉酱洒里面了 |
[09:00] | Been there, done thaT. | 彼时彼地 |
[09:03] | Get in the car. | 上车 |
[09:04] | Alan, we’re leaving. | 艾伦 我们走了 |
[09:06] | Okay. Have fun. | 好的 玩得开心点 |
[09:08] | I’m going on a double date with pumpkinhead–fun’s not an option. | 两对约会里有两个小鬼头 不会有乐子的 |
[09:12] | Well, whatever. | 好吧 随便啦 |
[09:13] | I know it means a lot to him. | 我知道这对他来说意义重大 |
[09:14] | That’s good… ’cause his happiness is everything to me. | 很好 因为他的幸福就是我的一切 |
[09:18] | Uh, uh, charlie? Wait. | 呃 查理 等一下 |
[09:21] | Yeah. | 怎么了 |
[09:22] | Guess who’s coming over tonight? | 猜猜今天晚上谁会来? |
[09:24] | Alexis. | 亚历克西斯 |
[09:26] | Good for you. | 干得好 |
[09:28] | But if you’re planning to use that vegetable oil, | 但是如果你想用那个植物油 |
[09:30] | it’s probably going to run you an extra hundred. | 很可能你要再付100块 |
[09:33] | I’m making french fries. You know? | 我要炸薯条 知道吗? |
[09:35] | Carb loading for my upcoming 60-minute dash. | 为即将到来的60分钟激情储存能量 |
[09:39] | My mistake. | 我想错了 |
[09:40] | But I like how you think… | 但是我喜欢你的想法 |
[09:41] | kinky and heart arar | 够变态 而且不含脂肪 |
[09:44] | right. | 好的 |
[09:45] | Oh, wait, wait. One more thing. | 哦 等等 最后一件事 |
[09:47] | Is this like parking at the mall? | 这跟在商场停车一样吗? |
[09:49] | What? | 什么? |
[09:50] | If I go over five minutes, do I have to pay for a whole other hour? | 如果我超时五分钟 我要再付一个小时的钱吗? |
[09:55] | No, it’s like a tollbooth. | 不 这个像收费站 |
[09:57] | At the end of the hour, a gate comes down | 在一个小时快结束时 闸门会放下来 |
[10:00] | and lops off your penis. Have fun. | 把你的弟弟拒之门外 玩得开心点 |
[10:05] | Do me a favor, if you get a chance, ask milly what her mother’s name is. | 帮我个忙 如果你逮着机会 问问米莉她妈妈叫什么 |
[10:10] | Why don’t you ask her? | 为什么你不自己问? |
[10:11] | Because women don’t like it when you forget their names. | 因为女人们不喜欢你忘记她们的名字 |
[10:14] | Well, then why do you always do it? | 是吗 那你为什么一直这么做? |
[10:17] | Why do you always eat pastrami when you know it gives you gas? | 那你在知道吃熏牛肉会让你放屁之后 还一直不停地吃? |
[10:21] | ‘Cause I love pastrami. | 因为我喜欢吃熏牛肉啊 |
[10:23] | Well, there you go. | 对啊 这不就结了 |
[10:24] | But I always know it’s called pastrami. | 但我一直知道它叫熏牛肉啊 |
[10:27] | Just ask her. | 问她就是了 |
[10:29] | Okay. | 好的 |
[10:30] | Now, let’s talk about your date. | 现在来谈谈你的约会 |
[10:33] | You need to get your ducks in a row before we get to the restaurant. | 在我们到餐馆前 你得让你的鸭子们排好队 |
[10:35] | What do you mean? | 什么意思? |
[10:36] | Well, if this little girl’s important to you, it’d behoove you to have a plan. | 如果这么姑娘对你很重要 做个计划会对你很适宜 |
[10:40] | “Behoove”? | “很适宜”? |
[10:42] | It would benefit you. | 就是对你有好处 |
[10:44] | Oh, yeah, sure. | 哦 是的 当然 |
[10:45] | What was that thing about ducks? | 这关鸭子什么事? |
[10:47] | It’s just an expression. | 我只是那么一说 |
[10:48] | Well, it’s confusing. | 那让人迷糊 |
[10:50] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
[10:51] | You can’t get ’em in a row. | 你没法让它们排队 |
[10:53] | I know, I know. Now, just listen to me… | 我知道 我知道 听我说 |
[10:54] | they’re ducks. | 它们是鸭子 |
[10:56] | Right. | 没错 |
[10:57] | They move willy-nilly. | 它们到处乱跑 |
[10:59] | Shut up. | 闭嘴 |
[11:02] | It would behoove you to speak nicer to me. | 对我好好说话会对你很适宜 |
[11:06] | I swear to god, I will open the sunroof, pick you up with one hand | 我发誓 我会打开车天窗 单手把你拎起来 |
[11:09] | and toss you into the carpool lane. | 扔到合用车道上 |
[11:14] | You know, there’s no reason we couldn’t be in the carpool lane. | 你知道 我们不可能去合用车道 |
[11:20] | All right, all right, I’m listening. | 好的 好的 我听着呢 |
[11:23] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[11:25] | Now, three rules. | 三条规则 |
[11:27] | Number one: Dinner with a beautiful woman is never about food. | 第一 和美女吃饭从来都和食物无关 |
[11:30] | I know, it’s about making her like me. | 我知道 是为了让她喜欢我 |
[11:32] | Very good. | 很好 |
[11:34] | But there will be food, right? | 但是总会有食物 不是吗? |
[11:37] | Yes. | 是的 |
[11:38] | ‘Cause I’m not at my best when I’m hungry. | 因为我饿的时候没法展现最佳状态 |
[11:41] | Jake, you need to focus here. | 杰克 你得专心点 |
[11:43] | It would behoove me to focus. | 专心点对我很适宜 |
[11:48] | Sorry. What are the other two rules? | 抱歉 其他两条规则是什么? |
[11:51] | Number two: Eat with your mouth closed. | 第二 闭着嘴吃 |
[11:53] | Number three: Pray she has low self-esteem. | 第三 祈祷她不那么自大 |
[11:57] | Number three isn’t a rule. | 第三条不是规则 |
[11:58] | For you it is. | 对你是的 |
[12:00] | Fine. | 好吧 |
[12:01] | Now let’s go over my three rules. | 现在 来说说我的三条规则 |
[12:04] | you’ve got rules? | 你有规则? |
[12:05] | Number one: I’d like you not to call me mr. Potato head or spongebob smearpants. | 第一 我希望你不要叫我土豆头先生 或是脏裤海绵鲍伯 |
[12:12] | How about sir farts alot? | 那放屁先生可以吗? |
[12:14] | No. | 不要 |
[12:17] | Number two: I’d think it’d be better if I call you charlie rather than uncle charlie; | 第二 我认为我叫你查理 比叫你查理伯伯更好 |
[12:22] | so that way,e’d be more like equals. | 这样更平等 |
[12:24] | So if we’re equals, does that mean you’re going to split the check with me? | 既然我们平等的话 是不是意味着你会和我平分饭钱 |
[12:28] | I knew you’d say that, charlie. | 我就知道你会这么说 查理 |
[12:32] | And number three? | 第三呢? |
[12:35] | Oh, there was only two; I miscounted. | 哦 只有两条 我数错了 |
[12:41] | * You don’t have to put on the red light * | * 你不必点着红灯 * (旧时妓院以红灯为标志) |
[12:47] | * those days are over you don’t have to sell your body to the night * | * 那些日子过去了 你不必把自己卖给黑夜 * |
[12:53] | Oh, wait, you do. | 哦 等下 你还是要的 |
[13:00] | here we go. | 要开始了 |
[13:02] | Make me proud. | 好好干 |
[13:10] | Hey, alan. | 嘿 艾伦 |
[13:12] | Rose… oh, for god’s sake. | 罗丝 上帝啊 |
[13:15] | Did charlie put you up to this? | 是查理让你这么做的吗? |
[13:16] | What are you talking about? | 你们在说什么? |
[13:17] | Charlie didn’t put me up to anything. | 查理没让我做任何事 |
[13:19] | Right.So, it’s just a coincidence that | 好 那么这是一个巧合 |
[13:20] | I’m sitting here waiting for a prostitute and all of a sudden you show up at the front door? | 我坐着等妓女来 突然间你就出现在前门了 |
[13:24] | You’re waiting for a prostitute? | 你在等妓女? |
[13:27] | No. | 不是 |
[13:30] | Oh, alan, that’s not like you. | 哦 艾伦 这可不像你 |
[13:32] | Yeah, well, when you’ve had your heart broken enough times | 是的 当你无数次心碎后 |
[13:35] | and you can’t even bear the thought of having an emotional connection with another human being, | 你甚至都无法忍受和人类交往的想法时 |
[13:38] | what else is there to do? | 你还能做什么? |
[13:39] | A lot of people masturbate I hear. | 我听说很多人手淫 |
[13:43] | Really, I’ve heard them. | 真的 我听说过 |
[13:46] | Nevertheless, sometimes a man needs to feel something other than his own touch. | 不管怎样 有时男人需要感受别的 而不是自己的抚摸 |
[13:51] | Have you tried switching hands? | 你试过换手吗? |
[13:54] | It’s like being with a clumsy stranger. | 就像是一个笨拙的陌生人 |
[14:00] | You must be alan’s prostitute. | 你一定是艾伦叫的妓女 |
[14:03] | I’m rose. | 我是罗丝 |
[14:04] | Hi, rose. | 嗨 罗丝 |
[14:05] | Will you be joining us tonight? | 今晚要和我们一起吗? |
[14:07] | No. | 不 |
[14:07] | You’ll just be doing alan this evening. | 今晚你只要和艾伦做就可以了 |
[14:10] | -Good night, rose. -Good night. | -晚安 罗丝 -晚安 |
[14:13] | So, uh, come on in. | 呃 进来吧 |
[14:15] | Sorry I’m a little late. | 抱歉 我迟了一会 |
[14:16] | Oh, that’s okay. | 哦 没事 |
[14:18] | As long as it doesn’t come out of my, you know… winky-dink time. | 只要不要过了我要看的”Winky-Dink”节目 |
[14:25] | charlie, you haven’t changed a bit in all these years. | 查理 这么多年你一点没变 |
[14:28] | It has been years, hasn’t it? | 好多年了 不是吗? |
[14:31] | How many years do you think it’s been? | 你觉得有多少年了? |
[14:33] | I don’t know, probably 12. | 我不知道 大概12年 |
[14:37] | And how old are you, honey? | 你几岁了 亲爱的? |
[14:38] | Fourteen. | 十四 |
[14:39] | Thank heaven. | 谢天谢地 |
[14:42] | “For leetle girls.” | 有女儿真好 |
[14:45] | So, milly, do you play dodgeball? | 米莉 你玩躲避球吗? |
[14:46] | No. | 不 |
[14:47] | I enjoy it quite a bit because it’s just man against man, but with big red balls. | 我非常喜欢玩 因为那是男人间的对抗 用巨大的红球 |
[14:54] | -Ix-nay on the allsbay. -What? | -Ix-nay on the allsbay -什么? |
[14:57] | Just don’t say balls. | 不要提球字 |
[15:00] | So… | 那么 |
[15:02] | are you… living in the same place? | 你还住在老地方? |
[15:05] | Yeah, still in my condo. | 是的 还住在我的公寓里 |
[15:07] | Right, the condo. | 是的 公寓 |
[15:09] | Boy, that takes me back. | 哦 那让我回忆起过去 |
[15:10] | I don’t think you were ever there. | 你没去过那里 |
[15:12] | That’s what I meant. | 我就是这个意思 |
[15:17] | It takes me back to not being there. | 让我回忆起我没去过那 |
[15:21] | The thing about dodge… | 说到躲避… |
[15:25] | round things, is the thrill of competition and the deep satisfaction you get | 圆东西 你会体会竞争带来的兴奋感 |
[15:29] | when you see a kid’s retainer fly out of his mouth | 以及看到一个孩子被球打中脸 |
[15:31] | when he takes one to the face. | 牙套从他嘴巴里飞出的满足感 |
[15:33] | I hate dodgeball. | 我讨厌躲避球 |
[15:34] | It’s too violent. | 太暴力了 |
[15:35] | You’re right, it sucks. | 没错 糟糕透了 |
[15:39] | Milly enjoys painting and writing poetry. | 米莉喜欢画画 写诗 |
[15:43] | You know, like me. | 你知道 像我一样 |
[15:44] | Of course I know. | 当然 我知道 |
[15:45] | How could I not know? | 我怎么会不知道 |
[15:47] | So, are you still doing the whole art thing? | 你还在做艺术方面的事? |
[15:50] | What do you mean? | 什么意思? |
[15:52] | I mean the thing you used to do with the art… | 我的意思是那些你以前做的和艺术 |
[15:55] | and the poetry. | 和诗有关的事 |
[15:58] | Milly, did jake tell you he’s in a band? | 米莉 杰克和你说过他加入了一个乐队吗 |
[16:01] | Yeah, I’m in a band. | 是的 我在一个乐队里 |
[16:05] | I don’t think she has low self-esteem. | 我觉得她有点自负 |
[16:11] | shall we take care of business before we get started? | 开始前 我们是不是该把钱给了 |
[16:13] | Oh, oh, absolutely. No… no money, no honey. | 哦哦 当然 没钱就没温存 |
[16:18] | No… no lootie, no bootie. | 没战利品就没有性感皮靴 |
[16:22] | No cash advance, I’m not in your pants. | 没现金 我就不会在你裤子里 |
[16:27] | -That was $400, right? -Five. | -400块 对吗? -500 |
[16:29] | Oh, of course. Why did I think it was four? | 哦 当然 我怎么会觉得是400呢? |
[16:36] | Thanks. So, alan… | 谢谢 那么 艾伦 |
[16:40] | what do you like? | 你喜欢怎样的? |
[16:41] | Oh, just about anything. I’m not finicky. | 哦 怎样都行 我不挑食 |
[16:44] | Ooh, no limits, huh? | 哦 没有限制啊? |
[16:46] | Well, you know, I’m not into animals or… | 嗯 我不喜欢和动物 或是 |
[16:49] | anything near my keister. | 任何靠近我屁股的东西 |
[16:53] | Okay, come here. | 好 过来 |
[16:56] | Let’s get comfy. | 让我们舒服点 |
[16:57] | Oh, all righty. | 哦 好的 |
[17:01] | oh, baby, you really turn me on. | 哦 亲爱的 你真让我兴奋 |
[17:05] | -Uh, uh, hang on a sec. -What? | -嗯嗯 等下 -怎么了? |
[17:08] | I’m a little bumped by that “turn me on” part. | 我有点不喜欢”让我兴奋”这一句 |
[17:11] | I mean, I want believe you, | 我是说 我想相信你 |
[17:13] | but I’ve been with enough women to know that it doesn’t happen that fast. | 但是和女人的经验告诉我不会那么快 |
[17:17] | Sometimes it doesn’t happen at all. | 有时甚至根本不会发生 |
[17:20] | Honey, I would not lie to you. | 亲爱的 我不会骗你的 |
[17:22] | No, no, of course not. Why would you lie to me? But… | 是是 当然不会 你为什么要骗我呢 但是 |
[17:27] | I’m just saying, it-it would help if you could tone down the narration to a more believable level. | 我只是说如果你能把表述 降到一个可信的水平会更好 |
[17:33] | All right. | 好的 |
[17:39] | Mm, you are the best kisser. | 嗯 你真是接吻高手 |
[17:42] | Okay, again… | 好吧 再说一次 |
[17:44] | I happen to know for a fact that I’m not the best kisser. | 我知道我不是个接吻高手 |
[17:48] | Okay, I’m a little confused here. | 好吧 我有点糊涂了 |
[17:50] | I’m just not buying it. | 我就是不相信 |
[17:51] | And since I am buying it, I should be able to buy it. | 既然我花钱了 应该让我相信才是 |
[17:56] | All you have to do is tell the truth. | 你要做的就是实话实说 |
[17:58] | -There’s no need for hyperbole. -All right. | -没必要夸张 -好的 |
[18:00] | -Okay. -Okay. | -行 -行 |
[18:03] | oh, alan, your lips are so… | 哦 艾伦 你的嘴唇真是 |
[18:08] | thin and dry. | 又薄又干 |
[18:12] | Okay, now we’re cookin’. | 好 这就对了 |
[18:17] | I think competitive eating really changed when that japanese guy started wetting the hot dog buns. | 我觉得当日本人开始把热狗弄湿 狂吃比赛就变味了 |
[18:22] | I actually figured out that trick myself… | 是我自己发现这个把戏的 |
[18:24] | by accident. | 很偶然地 |
[18:27] | So… | 那么 |
[18:29] | how are your folks doing? | 你双亲都好吗? |
[18:30] | That’s not funny, charlie. | 那一点都不好笑 查理 |
[18:31] | No, I-I-I meant, how are they doing… in heaven? | 不 我 我是说他们在天堂怎样? |
[18:36] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么呢? |
[18:38] | Hell? | 在地狱? |
[18:40] | Are you referring to their divorce? | 你是说他们的离婚 |
[18:42] | Yes, I am. | 是的 是的 |
[18:43] | And divorce is hell. | 离婚就像是地狱 |
[18:44] | But after awhile it can be like heaven. | 但是过一阵子就会像在天堂 |
[18:45] | You know, you’re even prettier than I remember. | 你知道 你比我记得的还要漂亮 |
[18:48] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[18:49] | And you are just as charming as the first time we met. | 你和我们初遇时一样充满魅力 |
[18:51] | Oh, you don’t remember that. | 哦 你还记得初遇 |
[18:53] | I sure do–it was a really hot day in july… | 当然 那是七月里炎热的一天 |
[18:55] | in my opinion, the hot dog eaters are amateurs. | 我觉得那些吃热狗的都是业余的 |
[18:57] | The guys who do pork ribs and spaghetti, they’re the real athletes. | 那些吃猪排和意粉的 才是真正的高手呢 |
[19:02] | Hey, hey, hey, the lady’s talking here. | 嘿嘿嘿 这位女士在说话呢 |
[19:05] | Oh, right–milly, charlie wants to know what your mom’s name is. | 哦 好吧 米莉 查理想知道你妈妈的名字 |
[19:11] | You don’t remember my name? | 你不记得我的名字了? |
[19:12] | What? Of course I do. | 什么? 我当然记得 |
[19:15] | You’re gonna listen to “spongebob smearpants”? | 你听”脏裤海绵鲍伯”乱说 |
[19:19] | oh, you want play like that, huh? | 哦 你想玩这个 呃? |
[19:21] | Mister… drunky-face. | 醉鬼先生 |
[19:24] | What’s my name, charlie? | 我叫什么 查理? |
[19:25] | Just a sec. | 等一下 |
[19:27] | How’s your lobster, sweetheart? | 龙虾好吃吗 甜心? |
[19:28] | You need more butter, ’cause there’s plenty on jake’s shirt. | 你想再要些黄油吗 杰克的衬衫上多着呢 |
[19:32] | You have no idea what my name is, do you? | 你不记得我的名字了 是吗? |
[19:34] | He doesn’t have a clue. | 他一点都想不起来 |
[19:36] | Okay, okay, okay, I’m not good with names, | 好好好 我不擅长记名字 |
[19:39] | but I’ll never forget the passionate nights we spent together. | 但是我永远不会忘记 我们共同度过的激情的夜晚 |
[19:42] | We never spent the night together. | 我们从没共度过夜晚 |
[19:44] | -We didt? -No. | -没有? -没有 |
[19:45] | Well, no wonder I don’t remember you. | 嗯 怪不得我不记得你 |
[19:48] | Come on, honey, we’re leaving. | 来吧 亲爱的 我们走 |
[19:50] | No, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait. | 不不不不 等一下 等一下 |
[19:52] | I gotta know… | 我得知道 |
[19:54] | who the hell are you? | 你到底是谁 |
[19:57] | Nice going. | 干得真不错 |
[19:58] | Me? You’re putting this on me? | 我? 你要把这些归咎于我? |
[20:01] | Can I bring you anything else? | 你们还要点什么吗? |
[20:03] | Yeah, get me a bottle of scotch, a taxi and a smarter kid. | 是的 一瓶威士忌 一辆出租车 和一个聪明点的娃 |
[20:08] | Can I have a chocolate mousse, please. | 我要个巧克力幕斯 |
[20:13] | alan: Oh, come on. I just said I can’t believe I’m the biggtt u’ve ever seen. | 哦 拜托 我只是说我不相信这是你见过的最大的 |
[20:18] | I mean, I’m not even the biggest I’ve ever seen and I haven’t seen that many. | 我是说 我甚至不是我见过的最大的 我都没见过多少 |
[20:23] | -I’m sorry, I have to go. -Why? | -对不起 我得走了 -为什么? |
[20:25] | I have a headache. | 我头痛 |
[20:27] | I can work with that–i was married for 12 years. | 那对我来说没关系 我有过12年婚史 |
[20:29] | Here’s your money. Don’t ever call me again. | 这是你的钱 不要再打电话我了 |
[20:37] | Okay. Second base for free. | 还行 免费上二垒 |
[20:59] | so, are either of you gonna tell me how it went tonight? | 你们谁打算告诉我今晚怎样? |
[21:03] | Ask your bubbleheaded son. | 问你的脑袋上冒泡的儿子 |
[21:05] | Ask your butt-headed brother. | 问你的屁股长脑袋上的兄弟 |
[21:08] | You know what? I’m not that interested. | 知道吗? 我不是那么有兴趣 |
[21:11] | I’m going to bed. | 我要睡了 |
[21:14] | Oh, no, stay. | 哦 不要 呆在这儿 |
[21:15] | I so enjoy your company. | 我喜欢你陪着 |
[21:21] | So, how’d it go with alexis? | 和亚历克西斯怎样? |
[21:24] | Well, uh, I don’t want to brag, but, uh, she wouldn’t take my money. | 嗯 我不是想吹牛 不过她不愿收我的钱 |