| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | Look at him. He can type 80 words a minute with his thumb, | 瞧他 他能用大拇指一分钟打80字 |
| [00:08] | but he can’t pee without hitting the shower curtain. | 撒个尿却总要溅到浴帘上 |
| [00:11] | Fortunately, typing is a job skill and peeing is not. | 好在打字是门职业技能 而撒尿不是 |
| [00:16] | Oh, dude, WTF? | 伙计 搞什么鬼? |
| [00:23] | -Oh, geez. -What? | -老天 -怎么了? |
| [00:25] | That woman over there. We used to go out. | 那边那女的 我们约会过 |
| [00:30] | Did it not end well? | 但没善始善终? |
| [00:33] | It went fine for me. | 对我来说挺好 |
| [00:35] | Although, in retrospect, | 但回想起来 |
| [00:37] | I guess I could have handled our parting with a little more tact and sensitivity and a little less, | 我们分手那会儿 我该再机智敏感些 |
| [00:41] | you know, banging her best friend. | 少跟她闺蜜上床 |
| [00:44] | Oh, God! | 老天! |
| [00:46] | Hey, hey, her friend was a double-jointed sex freak with daddy issues– | 她朋友是个双关节的性变态 还有恋父情结… |
| [00:49] | what was I supposed to do? | 我还能怎么办? |
| [00:51] | You’re right. Your hands were tied. | 说的对 你的手太累了 |
| [00:53] | That, too. | 那也是个原因 |
| [00:55] | So, how long ago was this? | 这是多久以前的事了? |
| [00:57] | Her or the friend? ‘Cause there was a brief overlap. | 跟她还是她朋友? 因为时间上有点重叠 |
| [01:00] | Let’s go with her. | 就说她吧 |
| [01:02] | I don’t know. Eight, nine years. | 我记不太清了 八九年吧 |
| [01:04] | So maybe she’s over it. | 或许她已经忘了这回事 |
| [01:14] | Or maybe not. | 或许还没有 |
| [01:41] | t, here’s the plan. | 我的计划是这样的 |
| [01:43] | I’m gonna go to the bathroom. | 我躲到卫生间去 |
| [01:44] | You count to ten, then scream like a girl | 你数到十 然后像小妞那样尖叫 |
| [01:45] | and start giving Jake the Heimlich maneuver. | 接着对杰克使用海姆利克氏操作法 (使堵住喉咙的异物吐出的急救措施) |
| [01:48] | Don’t be ridiculous. | 别胡扯了 |
| [01:50] | Charlie? | 查理? |
| [01:54] | Okay, but if she reaches into her purse, I’m using numbnuts as a human shield. | 但如果她把手伸进包里 我就拿这个小呆瓜当挡箭牌 |
| [01:59] | Hey, Chrissy. Long time. | 嗨 克丽茜 好久不见 |
| [02:02] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [02:03] | Yep, long, long time. | 好久 好久了 |
| [02:06] | Yeah. | 对啊 |
| [02:07] | Time is a great healer, isn’t it? | 时间是最好的疗伤药 对吧? |
| [02:10] | Of some things. | 对某些事来说是 |
| [02:12] | Hey, congratulations on your new career. | 你有了新的事业 恭喜你 |
| [02:14] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [02:15] | It’s hard to believe Charlie Harper is a children’s singing star. | 查理 哈珀是个儿歌明星 真难以置信 |
| [02:19] | Well, you know how much I love kid… | 你知道我有多喜欢孩子… |
| [02:22] | Yep, a long, long time. | 对 好久 好久之前 |
| [02:26] | Looks like your little guy enjoys music. | 看起来你的小家伙很喜欢听音乐 |
| [02:28] | Oh, yeah, he loves it. | 对 他热爱音乐 |
| [02:29] | He’s actually quite the piano player, too. | 实际上他钢琴弹得也不错 |
| [02:32] | Piano? You hear that, Charlie? | 钢琴? 听见了没 查理? |
| [02:35] | The young man plays piano just like you. | 这小伙子跟你一样会弹钢琴 |
| [02:37] | Lots of kids play piano. | 弹钢琴的小孩多得是 |
| [02:39] | So, you still living in Westwood? | 你还住在韦斯特伍德? |
| [02:41] | Yeah. Still there. | 对 还在那儿 |
| [02:42] | We just drove down to spend the day at the beach. | 我们刚开车过来 准备去海边玩 |
| [02:44] | Oh, sure. The beach. | 是啊 沙滩 |
| [02:46] | Nice place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live there. | 观光的好地方 但你不会想住在那儿 |
| [02:48] | Actually, I do live there; it’s not that bad. | 实际上我就住那儿 也不是那么糟糕 |
| [02:51] | Right. Well, we should get going. It was nice seeing you. | 对 我们该走了 很高兴见到你 |
| [02:54] | Nice to see you, too. | 我也很高兴见到你 |
| [02:55] | Come on, Chuck. | 走吧 查克 |
| [03:02] | Chuck. | 查克 |
| [03:04] | I heard it. | 我听见了 |
| [03:05] | Lots of kids named Chuck. | 叫查克的小孩多得是 |
| [03:07] | It’s a nickname for Charles, isn’t it? | 那是查理的昵称 对吧? |
| [03:10] | So are Chaz, Chad, Chick and Charlie. What’s your point? | 查兹查得查咳 查理 这些都是 你想说什么? |
| [03:12] | No point.It’s just that you haven’t seen that woman in nine years, | 没什么 只是你跟那个女人九年没联系了 |
| [03:15] | and little Chuck is, uh… | 而小查克… |
| [03:18] | Well, how old do you suppose little Chuck is? | 你猜小查克几岁? |
| [03:20] | What difference does it make? | 这有什么区别? |
| [03:22] | Well, I’d say little Chuck is, uh… | 我猜小查克大概… |
| [03:26] | seven or eight years old, give or take nine months. | 七八岁 误差不会超过九个月 |
| [03:32] | What are you implying? | 你在暗示什么? |
| [03:33] | ‘Cause I don’t know what you’re talking about. | 我不明白你什么意思 |
| [03:34] | You don’t? | 你不知道? |
| [03:35] | Okay, I choose not to. | 我不想明白 |
| [03:37] | JAKE: Oh, crap! Dad, quick, we gotta go home! | 该死! 老爸 快点儿 我们得回家去! |
| [03:39] | Why, what’s wrong? | 为啥 怎么了? |
| [03:39] | My battery died. | 我电池没电了 |
| [03:42] | Oh, no, wait. I just turned it off by accident. | 等等 我只是不小心关机了 |
| [03:46] | This wouldn’t happen if I had a smartphone. | 如果我有个智能手机就不会这样了 |
| [03:49] | Do I even need to say it? | 还用我说出来么? |
| [03:54] | So is it just me or did that kid kind of look like Uncle Charlie? | 只是我的感觉 还是那小孩 长的真有点儿像查理叔叔? |
| [04:10] | * And the cat’s in the cradle * | *摇篮里的猫儿 * (关于父子关系的歌) |
| [04:11] | * And the silver spoon * | * 和银勺子 * |
| [04:15] | * Little boy blue and the man on the moon * | * 忧伤的小男孩和… |
| [04:19] | Shut up, Alan. | 闭嘴 艾伦 |
| [04:20] | * When you coming home, Dad? I don’t know when…* | * 当你回家的时候… |
| [04:24] | It’s not funny. | 一点儿都不好笑 |
| [04:26] | Well, maybe not funny ha-ha, but certainly funny hee-hee. | 或许不能让人哈哈大笑 但肯定可以嘻嘻偷笑了 |
| [04:31] | That boy was nothing like me. | 那孩子一点儿都不像我 |
| [04:33] | Well, he didn’t have ear hair and whiskey breath, | 他还没有耳毛和威士忌的口气 |
| [04:35] | but I’m guessing he’ll grow into that. | 但我想他会朝那个方向成长的 |
| [04:37] | What’s going on? | 怎么了? |
| [04:39] | Well, it would appear that the ol’ spermonator here… | 貌似这个老精子机 |
| [04:42] | has fathered a child. | 造出了个孩子 |
| [04:44] | I did not. | 我没有 |
| [04:45] | How can you be so sure? | 你怎么敢肯定? |
| [04:46] | ‘Cause I never play in the rain without a slicker and galoshes. | 我从不会不穿雨衣雨鞋就在雨里玩 |
| [04:52] | I’m confused. Where do the galoshes go? | 我有点糊涂了 雨鞋是怎么回事? |
| [04:55] | It’s just a figure of speech. | 那只是打个比方 |
| [04:58] | Everything that needs to be covered is covered when, you know, covering is appropriate. | 该做预防措施的时候 我都做到位了 |
| [05:03] | I didn’t ask for your life story. | 我没问你的人生故事 |
| [05:04] | I was just confused about the galoshes. | 我只是不明白雨鞋的事 |
| [05:07] | You know, Charlie, even condoms are only 98% effective. | 查理 避孕套的成功率只有98% |
| [05:10] | That’s not true. | 才不是 |
| [05:11] | The hell it isn’t. | 不是才怪 |
| [05:14] | Haven’t you ever read the package? | 你从来不看包装盒么? |
| [05:15] | Who reads the package? | 谁会看包装盒啊? |
| [05:16] | It’s not like a cereal box. | 又不是麦片盒 |
| [05:19] | You don’t read it while you’re eating. | 你不会边吃边看 |
| [05:23] | Yikes. | 恶心 |
| [05:24] | Come on, Charlie, do the math. | 拜托 查理 算算吧 |
| [05:26] | You haven’t seen the woman in nine years and she’s got an eight-year-old. | 你跟那个女人九年没见 她有个八岁大的儿子 |
| [05:28] | So what? | 那又怎么样? |
| [05:29] | You showed up at my door with a ten-year-old and I hadn’t seen you in 11 years. | 你带个十岁的儿子出现在我门前 而我十一年没见你了 |
| [05:34] | Does that mean taterhead is our love child? | 是不是就说明那个 土豆脑袋是我俩的私生子? |
| [05:37] | All right, fine, stay in denial. | 好吧 你就别承认 |
| [05:38] | There’s no way little Chuck is your son. | 小查克不可能是你儿子 |
| [05:40] | Chuck? | 查克? |
| [05:41] | Hey, hey, lots of kids are named Chuck, play the piano and look disturbingly like me. | 叫查克 会弹钢琴 莫名其妙长得像我的小孩多得是 |
| [05:48] | He’s right. | 他说得对 |
| [05:50] | In fact, I’m surprised we’re not up to our asses in ’em. | 实际上 我们没意识到这个问题才奇怪 |
| [06:01] | Hey, Russell? | 嗨 拉塞尔? |
| [06:02] | I’m busy. | 我忙着呢 |
| [06:04] | I’ve got a question about these condoms. | 我想问个关于这些套套的问题 |
| [06:06] | I told you, Charlie, I’m giving you the best bulk rate I can. | 跟你说过了 查理 我已经给你最优惠的批发价了 |
| [06:10] | I know, but that’s not what I was… | 我知道 但我想问的是… |
| [06:11] | There’s just no way I can compete with the big chain stores. | 价钱上我竞争不过大型连锁店 |
| [06:14] | I understand. | 我理解 |
| [06:15] | So I make it up in personal service. | 因此我用个人服务来弥补 |
| [06:17] | I’m sure you do. | 我相信你做到了 |
| [06:18] | I mean, I’m not going to unroll the damn things and put ’em on for you, | 我不可能把那玩意包装打开 亲自替你戴上 |
| [06:21] | but short of that,I’ve got your back. | 但除了这一点 其他就交给我吧 |
| [06:25] | And I appreciate it. | 不胜感激 |
| [06:26] | But that’s not what I was asking about. | 但我想问的不是这个 |
| [06:28] | Charlie, times are tough. | 查理 日子不好过啊 |
| [06:30] | People don’t get their drugs from their friendly neighborhood pharmacist anymore. | 人们不再从附近友好的 药剂师那儿买药了 |
| [06:33] | They go on the Internet. | 他们都从网上买了 |
| [06:35] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [06:35] | Sure, trust your mailman with your heart medicine and stool softeners. | 就信任邮差送来的 心脏病药跟大便松弛剂吧 |
| [06:40] | Russell, have you been hittin’ the free samples again? | 拉塞尔 你又在吸那些免费样品了吗? |
| [06:43] | What are you, a cop? | 你是谁啊 条子吗? |
| [06:46] | No, I’m just a little concerned about you. | 我只是有点担心你 |
| [06:48] | Well, if you’re so concerned, help me out a little bit. | 如果你真那么担心 就帮帮我吧 |
| [06:50] | Why don’t you buy some reading glasses or a neck brace once in a while. | 你为什么不偶尔买个放大镜 或者护颈支架什么的? |
| [06:55] | -Sure, whatever. -A bag of Skittles for God’s sake. | -随便啦 -看在上帝份上买包彩虹糖也好 |
| [06:58] | You know, ’cause my margin on condoms is bubkes. | 避孕套的收益真是微乎其微 |
| [07:02] | Yeah, well, speaking of condoms, | 说到避孕套 |
| [07:06] | I just want to know if somebody could get pregnant even if you were wearing a condom. | 我只想知道是不是即使 戴着避孕套也会让女人怀孕 |
| [07:10] | Have you been talking to the Wetzel’s Pretzels lady? | 你跟那个卖椒盐卷饼的女士聊过? |
| [07:12] | Because I just gave her a ride home, that’s it. | 我只是顺路送她回家 真没别的 |
| [07:15] | No, no, no, no, I mean in general. | 不 我是说一般情况下 |
| [07:17] | What are the odds that a condom wouldn’t work? | 避孕套不管用的几率有多大? |
| [07:19] | Well, there are a number of things to factor in. | 有很多因素呢 |
| [07:26] | Oh, cough syrup? | 来点儿咳嗽糖浆? |
| [07:28] | I don’t have a cough. | 我不咳嗽 |
| [07:29] | Neither do I. | 我也不咳嗽 |
| [07:33] | Anyway, condoms. | 总之 避孕套 |
| [07:36] | Whenever you’re dealing with a manufactured product, | 无论何时你使用人工产品 |
| [07:38] | there’s always going to be flaws in the process. | 制作流程中难免有失误 |
| [07:40] | Yeah, but aren’t they supposed to be tested before they go out? Or in? | 但他们出厂前 或是进去前 不都是被检测过的么? |
| [07:45] | Well, sure, but they don’t test every one. | 当然 但不能每个都检测 |
| [07:47] | They don’t? | 不能吗? |
| [07:48] | Masturbating’s looking better and better, huh? | 手淫貌似越来越好了吧? |
| [07:54] | Okay, okay, so bottom line, what you’re saying is even if I’m wearing a condom, | 那说到底 你的意思是 即使我用了避孕套 |
| [07:58] | there’s a chance I could get someone pregnant? | 也是有可能让人怀孕的? |
| [08:03] | Did you miss eighth grade health class, Charlie? | 你没上八年级的 生理卫生课吗 查理? |
| [08:06] | Oh, come on, who went to health class? | 得了吧 谁上生理卫生课啊? |
| [08:08] | Well, amongst others, a certain self-medicating pharmacist | 会有某个自我治疗的药剂师 |
| [08:11] | who pays alimony to three different women, | 他为三个不同的女人支付赡养费 |
| [08:13] | but not one penny in child support. | 但不用在子女抚养上花一分钱 |
| [08:17] | All right, all right, for future reference, | 为了将来在参考 用动物肠道 |
| [08:19] | what about lambskin? | 薄膜做的那种避孕套怎么样? |
| [08:21] | Are they more effective? | 是不是更有效? |
| [08:23] | Well, um, less so than your latex product. | 不比你用的橡胶制品更好 |
| [08:26] | Now I had to stop wearing them myself because something about the smell made my cat go berserk. | 现在我不得不停用了 因为那股味让我的猫变得狂暴 |
| [08:32] | It kind of a cute story. | 那是个有趣的小故事 |
| [08:34] | I don’t… I don’t want to hear it. | 我不… 我不想听 |
| [08:36] | Not a cat person, huh? | 不是爱猫的人是吧? |
| [08:38] | I’m not either anymore. | 我也不是了 |
| [08:42] | All right, well, thanks, Russell. I’ll see ya. | 谢谢 拉塞尔 再见 |
| [08:45] | Th-Th-That’s it? | 就… 就这样了? |
| [08:46] | You’re not going to buy anything? We’ve got Wiffle ball bats. | 你什么都不买? 我们这儿有威孚球棒 |
| [08:49] | Maybe your little bastard would like a Wiffle ball bat. | 或许你的小私生子喜欢威孚球棒 |
| [08:54] | Childproof. | 计划生育 |
| [09:06] | You all right? | 你还好吧? |
| [09:08] | No, I am not. | 不 很不好 |
| [09:10] | What’s going on? | 怎么了? |
| [09:12] | Alan, I have always conducted my sex life according to three simple principles. | 艾伦 我一直用三条准则来”规范” 我的性生活 |
| [09:18] | One: if at all possible, ladies first. | 第一 尽可能上女的 (有一集查理找了一个变性的) |
| [09:23] | Two: it’s easier to be forgiven than ask permission. | 第二 事后道歉比事前询问简单 (先上了再道歉) |
| [09:29] | And third, and most important: | 第三 也是最重要的 |
| [09:31] | the ten seconds it takes to put on a condom beats the hell out of the ten years | 花十秒钟带套远比花十年 |
| [09:33] | you have to pretend to like soccer. | 假装喜欢 足球要划得来(因为要跟儿子玩) |
| [09:38] | Except when they don’t work. | 除非套套破了 |
| [09:40] | Stupid tiny disclaimer on the side of the box. | 包装盒上面的”不保证”字样太小了(==+) |
| [09:44] | They should put it in big letters right on the reservoir tip. | 他们应该在套套顶上用大字体表明 (在套套顶上有一个储藏精液的设计 可以减少压力而减少破裂几率) |
| [09:48] | Do you feel lucky, dumb ass? | 侥幸心理要不得 蠢货 |
| [09:51] | Yeah, that’d do it. | 嗯 兴许有效 |
| [09:53] | So, what’s your next move? | 那 你下一步要怎么办? |
| [09:56] | Well, you’d think if Chrissy had my child and decided not to tell me, | 如果克丽茜怀了我的孩子 又不打算告诉我 |
| [10:00] | I’d just send her a little card. | 那我就送张贺卡好了 |
| [10:02] | You know, “Thanks for being a good sport” or something. | 谢谢你让我尽”性”之类的 |
| [10:05] | I’m not sure Hallmark has a deadbeat dad section. | 我不觉得邮戳可以代表”我不赡养小孩” |
| [10:08] | It doesn’t matter. | 没关系 |
| [10:09] | For some reason, I want to know the truth. | 不知道为何 我还是希望听到实话 |
| [10:12] | If I have a kid, I need to know about it. | 如果我要做爸爸了 她应该告诉我 |
| [10:14] | Of course you do. | 那当然啦 |
| [10:15] | Being a father is the greatest joy there is. | 做父亲是世上最大的乐趣 |
| [10:18] | Hey, Dad, where’s the plunger? | 嘿 老爸 搋子在啥地方? |
| [10:21] | Uh, laundry room. | 洗衣房 |
| [10:23] | Thanks, I over-wiped. | 谢了 我排得太多了 |
| [10:27] | No such thing, my son. | 再怎么多也不为过 儿子 |
| [10:31] | Where was I? | 我说到哪里了? |
| [10:32] | The joys of fatherhood. | 当父亲的乐趣 |
| [10:34] | Right. | 对 |
| [10:37] | What? There was a time when he didn’t wipe at all. | 干嘛? 以前他根本就不会拉呢 |
| [10:42] | Hey, I’m gonna need a mop, too. | 嘿 我还要一个拖把 |
| [10:45] | Excuse me. Father/son moment. | 闪一下先 父子时间到了 |
| [10:59] | * People, let me tell you about my best friend * | *大家 让我谈谈我最好的朋友 * |
| [11:03] | * He’s a warmhearted person Who’d love me till the end * | * 他是热心的至始至终都爱着我的人 * |
| [11:07] | * People, let me tell you about my best friend * | * 大家 让我谈谈我最好的朋友* |
| [11:11] | * He’s one boy cuddly toy My up, my down, my pride and joy * | * 他是一个男孩的毛绒玩具 是我的骄傲与快乐源泉 * |
| [11:16] | * People, let me tell you about him, he’s so much fun * | * 大家 让我谈谈我最好的朋友 他很搞笑 * |
| [11:19] | * Whether we’re talking man-to-man * | * 不管是我们一对一的谈话 * |
| [11:21] | * Or whether we’re talking son-to-son * | * 还是孩子与孩子之间的谈话 * |
| [11:23] | * ‘Cause he’s my best friend * | * 因为他是我最好的朋友 * |
| [11:27] | * Yeah, he’s my best friend…* | * 对 他是我最好的朋友…* |
| [11:49] | Daddy’s home! | 老爸回来了! |
| [11:58] | Hurry! Hurry! | 快点! 快点! |
| [12:11] | Hey, Jake? | 嘿 杰克? |
| [12:12] | Don’t worry. It’s all cleaned up. | 别担心 都搞干净了 |
| [12:14] | Not why I’m here. | 我不是来说这个的 |
| [12:15] | You can hardly smell it at all anymore. | 你几乎都闻不到异味的 |
| [12:18] | Don’t kid yourself. | 别没事找事 |
| [12:20] | Although I may owe you a toilet. | 就算我欠你一个厕所好了 |
| [12:22] | I’ll put it on your tab. | 我会记在账上的 |
| [12:25] | Now, I want to ask you a question. | 现在 我要问你一个问题 |
| [12:27] | Crumb cake, a frappuccino and a burrito supreme. | 碎屑面包 星冰乐和特大肉卷 |
| [12:30] | That’s not the question. | 我不是问这个 |
| [12:31] | Oh, yeah, and a tangerine. That’s what killed me. | 噢 对了 再来一个橘子 死了也值了 |
| [12:36] | Are you done? | 你有完没完? |
| [12:37] | I hope so, ’cause the toilet won’t flush anymore. | 希望如此 因为马桶现在已经不能冲水了 |
| [12:42] | What-What I wanted to ask you is do you think I’ve been a good role model? | 我要问的是 我觉得我是个好榜样不? |
| [12:46] | Are you kidding? | 开什么玩笑? |
| [12:47] | You drink, you gamble, you have different women here practically every night. | 你酗酒 好赌 还和无数的女人在这里夜夜春宵 |
| [12:51] | You’re the best role model a guy could want. | 你是男人最好的榜样 |
| [12:55] | You think so? | 你真是这么想的? |
| [12:56] | Yeah, they should put your face on money. | 他们都应该把你印到钞票上面 |
| [12:59] | Well, thanks, buddy. | 谢了 乖仔 |
| [13:00] | I appreciate it. | 我真是欣慰 |
| [13:02] | Oh, hey, one more question. | 哦 嘿 再多问一句 |
| [13:04] | How would you feel about having a cousin? | 给你添个堂弟怎么样? |
| [13:06] | I’ve got a cousin. | 我有堂弟了 |
| [13:07] | I mean, another cousin. | 我是说 再来一个堂弟 |
| [13:09] | What do I need another cousin for? | 要那么多堂弟来干嘛? |
| [13:11] | Forget it. | 算了 |
| [13:13] | What I need is a smartphone and a new toilet. | 我要的是一台智能手机和新马桶 |
| [13:18] | Cousin. | 堂弟 (这都哪儿跟哪儿啊) |
| [13:40] | Charlie. | 查理 |
| [13:42] | What are you doing here? | 你来这儿干嘛? |
| [13:44] | Well, I was in the neighborhood. | 我也就是路过 |
| [13:45] | I thought I’d stop by and say hello and bring you this. | 顺便过来看看 打个招呼 再给你这个 |
| [13:51] | A Wiffle ball bat. | 一个威浮球棒 |
| [13:52] | That’s for Chuck. | 这是给查克的 |
| [13:54] | I got you an eyeglass repair kit and some malted milk balls. | 我给你买了一套眼镜修理工具 和一些麦芽牛奶球 |
| [13:59] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [14:01] | I know it’s not much of a gift, | 我知道这算不上什么礼物 |
| [14:02] | but the guy that usually sells roses at the freeway on-ramp, | 但高速公路口的那个售货员之前卖玫瑰 |
| [14:05] | well, he switched to oranges, and I didn’t know if you liked oranges. | 现在改卖橘子了 我又不知道你是不是喜欢橘子 |
| [14:08] | So anyway, is Chuck my kid? | 少说废话 查克是我的骨肉吗? |
| [14:11] | What difference does it make? | 是又怎么样? |
| [14:12] | Well, it makes all the difference in the world. | 是的话 关系可大了 |
| [14:14] | How? | 怎么会? |
| [14:15] | Well, for starters, I’m gonna write a scathing letter to | 首先 我得写一封批评信给 |
| [14:17] | a certain manufacturer of latex products. | 那家橡胶制品公司(也就是套套啦) |
| [14:22] | But more importantly, if I’m his dad, he should know. | 但是更重要的是 如果我是他的父亲 他应该知道 |
| [14:25] | He’s already got a dad. | 他已经有一个父亲了 |
| [14:27] | -Oh, really? -Yes. | -噢 真的? -是的 |
| [14:29] | We may not live together anymore and he may not have your kind of money, | 我们也许不在一起了 他也没你那么有钱 |
| [14:32] | but he’s a good dad, and he loves Chuck very much. | 但是他是一个好父亲 他也很爱查克 |
| [14:36] | So you’re just raising him on your own? | 那么你决定独自抚养他成人了? |
| [14:39] | Charlie, you don’t have to worry about him. | 查理 你没必要担心他 |
| [14:41] | He’s gotten along just fine without you for the last eight years and so have I. | 8年来他没有你 也一样过得好好的 我也是 |
| [14:44] | But wait, Chrissy! | 但是 等等 克丽茜! |
| [14:48] | I didn’t know! | 我当时不知道! |
| [14:55] | Boy, you miss one health class. | 天呀 这就是没去上生理卫生课的结果 |
| [15:02] | So, Jake, how do you like high school? | 对了 杰克 上初中的感觉怎么样? |
| [15:06] | I’m in eight grade. | 我在上八年级 |
| [15:09] | I see. | 知道了 |
| [15:11] | When do you start high school? | 那你啥时候上高中啊? |
| [15:13] | Hard to say. Eighth grade is really kicking my ass. | 难说 八年级的课对我来说已经很难了 |
| [15:16] | Jake, language. | 杰克 不准说脏话 (language这里指”措辞”) |
| [15:17] | Yeah, language, math, science, history, phys ed. | 是呀 语文 数学 科学 历史 体育 (笨杰克把language理解为其 另外一个意思”语言”) |
| [15:23] | I understand, dear. | 我明白你的苦衷 亲爱的 |
| [15:25] | I can’t even find my locker. | 我都找不到我的储物箱 |
| [15:29] | All right, I talked to her. You owe me five bucks. | 呐呐 我跟她聊过天了 你欠我五块钱 |
| [15:37] | He’s a good wiper, and I love him. | 他很会擦屁股呢 我很爱他 |
| [15:40] | Hey, Alan, I just spoke… aw, geez. | 嘿 艾伦 我刚跟… 噢 偶滴神呀 |
| [15:45] | Good to see you, too, dear. | 我也很高兴看见你 亲爱的 |
| [15:46] | What’s going on, Mom? | 有什么事吗 老妈? |
| [15:47] | Nothing. | 没事 |
| [15:48] | I merely stop in to see my two sons and my one and only grandchild. | 我只是顺道来看看我的两个儿子 和我唯一的孙子 |
| [15:53] | Well, it’s… | 其实… |
| [15:57] | So, Mom, you’re looking good. | 老妈 你看上去气色不错 |
| [16:00] | Did you have something snipped or tucked or sucked? | 你身上是剪了 塞了还是吸了? |
| [16:04] | Just eyes and tush. But nice of you to notice. | 就整了眼睛和犬牙 很高兴你注意到了 |
| [16:08] | Hey, Charlie, did you ever find out if that kid is yours? | 嘿 查理 你搞清楚那个小孩 是不是你的了没? |
| [16:15] | Thanks a lot, Berta. | 来的真是时候 贝塔 |
| [16:17] | Oh, dear, have I spoken out of turn? | 噢 神呀 我是不是说错话了? |
| [16:24] | Kid? | 孩子? |
| [16:25] | Yeah, well, it-it-it turns out that there are flaws in every manufacturing process | 事实就是 所有产品生产过程中 总会有一点小瑕疵 |
| [16:31] | and that includes your everyday latex products. | 也包括每天都用到的橡胶产品 |
| [16:34] | I see. And how far along is the young lady? | 我明白了 那个小妞怀了几个月? |
| [16:37] | Oh, about eight years. | 噢 八年多了 |
| [16:39] | Eight years and she’s just suing you now? | 八年了 她现在才来起诉你? |
| [16:44] | She’s not suing me. | 她没去起诉我 |
| [16:46] | She doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. | 她根本就不想理我 |
| [16:48] | Lucky you. | 你真走运 |
| [16:49] | If I were her, I’d have owned half this house | 如果我是她 验孕棒没干之前 |
| [16:51] | before the pee stick dried. | 我就拿到这间屋子一半的所有权了 |
| [16:55] | Yeah, real lucky. | 真是走运 |
| [16:56] | I got an eight-year-old son and I’ll never get to spend any time with him. | 我有了一个八岁的小孩 却从来没跟他在一起过 |
| [16:59] | Oh, sweetheart, look, take it from me. | 哦 亲爱的 听着 相信我 |
| [17:02] | Spending time with one’s children is greatly overrated. | 跟孩子们一起玩绝对 没想象中的那么好玩 |
| [17:08] | Oh, come on, face facts. | 噢 别这样 面对现实吧 |
| [17:10] | Some people are meant to be parents and some people aren’t. | 有些人注定是好父母 有些就不行 |
| [17:12] | And you have a perfect example of that sitting right in front of you. | 你面前就有一个活生生的例子 |
| [17:15] | You certainly do. | 那当然了 (老妈这个动作是在暗指艾伦) |
| [17:19] | Yeah, well, I think I’d be a great dad. | 好啦 我觉得我会是个好爸爸的 |
| [17:22] | Well, easy for you to say now that you’ve dodged the bullet. | 反正你现在当不了爸爸 当然站着说话不腰疼啦 |
| [17:27] | You’re right, talk is cheap. | 你说的对 说说当然简单 |
| [17:33] | Remind me to speak to him about putting this house in my name | 记得提醒我说服他 把这个房子划归我的名下 |
| [17:36] | so it can never fall into the hands of some money-hungry, manipulative bitch. | 免得它落入某些贪得无厌 耍手段的臭女人手中 |
| [17:41] | That isn’t related to him. | 那个儿子不一定是他的 |
| [17:54] | What do you want now, Charlie? | 你现在又想干嘛 查理? |
| [17:56] | Look, I can see why you might not think of me as father material. | 听着 我能明白你为什么觉得 我不是当父亲的料 |
| [17:59] | And clearly you’ve done a great job raising Chuck on your own. | 很显然你独自抚养查克也很好 |
| [18:03] | I’d just like, if you’d let me, to help out a little bit. | 我只是想 如果你允许我来帮你们一点 |
| [18:10] | This is more than a little bit. | 这可不是一点点 |
| [18:12] | Hey, eight years is a long time. | 嘿 八年可是很长的 |
| [18:15] | What do you want out of this? | 你给我钱 你想要怎么样? |
| [18:17] | I just want to know that he’s taken care of. | 我只是想知道他有人关心 |
| [18:19] | And I plan on sending you a check every month. | 我准备每个月都给你寄张支票 |
| [18:22] | I-I don’t know what to say. | 我不知道怎么说才好 |
| [18:24] | You don’t have to worry about me interfering. | 你不必担心我会介入你们的生活 |
| [18:27] | Although, there’s a couple of things you should know for when he gets older. | 虽然等他长大了 你应该注意一些方面 |
| [18:31] | Like what? | 比如? |
| [18:33] | Well, you’re gonna want to lock the liquor cabinet… | 比如你应该给酒橱上锁… |
| [18:37] | But don’t forget that mouthwash can also pack a pretty good buzz. | 但是别忘记了漱口水也能畅饮 |
| [18:41] | So be on guard for suspiciously minty breath. | 所以小心看好可疑的薄荷口气清新剂 |
| [18:46] | Oh, and if his school nurse is at all attractive, | 噢 如果他学校的护士很靓的话 |
| [18:49] | you can expect the occasional hernia. | 他就会偶尔得个疝气什么的 |
| [18:53] | Thanks for the heads up. | 多谢提醒 |
| [18:54] | You’re welcome. | 不客气 |
| [18:58] | So, uh,… | 那么,… |
| [19:01] | Good luck. | 一切顺利 |
| [19:05] | You’re gonna need it. | 你要一切顺利才好 (查克会捣蛋) |
| [19:23] | Jeremy, your mom’s here. | 杰里米 你老妈来了 |
| [19:28] | -Hey, Mom. -Hi, honey. | -嘿 妈妈 -嗨 亲爱的 |
| [19:30] | Hey, where’d you get that shirt? | 嘿 你这么穿成这样? |
| [19:32] | Oh, I got it for him. I hope that’s okay. | 哦 我给他买的 希望你别介意 |
| [19:34] | I love it. | 我很喜欢 |
| [19:35] | He looks like a little ladies’ man. | 他看起来很招女孩子喜欢 |
| [19:39] | So, uh, is this time next week okay for you? | 那么 下星期这个时候你还方便的吧? |
| [19:41] | Actually, I think my babysitting days are behind me. | 事实上 我觉得我再也不用做保姆了 |
| [19:46] | Ciao. | 再见 |
| [19:52] | w2m really glad you’re accepting responsibility, Charlie. | 你有负责感了我真高兴 查理 |
| [19:54] | Thank you. | 谢谢表扬 |
| [19:55] | You’ll see. It’s a great feeling knowing you’re… | 你会知道 照顾自己的孩子… |
| [19:57] | you’re taking care of your own kid. | 感觉是相当好 |
| [20:00] | Oh, hey, Mr. Harper. | 哦 嘿 哈珀先生好 |
| [20:01] | -Hey, Clive, how’s it going? -Great. | -嘿 克莱夫 怎么样了? -我很好 |
| [20:03] | All right, Mrs. Melnick, that should hold you for a while. | 好了 梅尔尼克女士 这样一来你可以再坚持一阵子了 |
| [20:06] | -Hey, dude. -Hey, dude. | -嘿 伙计 -嘿 伙计 |
| [20:10] | Thanks, Clive, you’re the best. | 谢啦 克莱夫 你干得真棒 |
| [20:12] | Come on in, honey. Thanks, Alan. | 进来吧 亲爱的 谢谢你 艾伦 |
| [20:14] | Bye, buddy. | 再见 孩子 |
| [20:16] | Who was that guy? | 那个家伙是谁? |
| [20:17] | Oh, that’s Clive, the exterminator. | 哦 那个是克莱夫 杀虫公司的 |
| [20:19] | He’s been coming here forever. | 他总来的 |
| [20:20] | Hey, Alan, has it ever occurred to you… | 嘿 艾伦 你有没有想过… |
| [20:24] | Hey, Mr. Harper. | 嘿 哈珀先生 |
| [20:27] | Hey, Craig. | 嘿 克雷格 |
| [20:32] | Has what ever occurred to me? | 我没想过什么? |
| [20:34] | Nothing. | 没事 |
| [20:36] | Hey, Mr. H. Long time no see. | 嘿 H.朗 先生 好久不见 |