| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Aren’t you going to wash your hands before you eat? | 吃饭前 不该先洗下手吗? |
| [00:06] | No. I wrap the toilet paper | 不用 我上厕所时用厕纸 |
| [00:07] | around my fingers like an oven mitt. | 把手指缠起来了 就像戴着手套 |
| [00:10] | You could catch a puck with it. | 缠得可严实了 绝对没问题 |
| [00:13] | So, Mom, what brings you to our neck of the woods? | 老妈 你到我们这片来有何贵干呀? |
| [00:15] | I’m showing a house down at the beach. | 我带顾客来看海滩别墅 |
| [00:17] | Thought I’d swing by and see my grandson. | 寻思着正好顺道看看我的孙子 |
| [00:19] | Tada! | 看到了吧! |
| [00:25] | Nice house? | 豪华型的? |
| [00:26] | Oh, magnificent. And priced to move. | 嗯 非常豪华 想住得花不少钱 |
| [00:29] | The owner lost everything in the stock market, killed himself. | 原来的房主炒股破产 自杀了 |
| [00:32] | Oh, that’s terrible. | 真是太不幸了 |
| [00:32] | Oh, no. He didn’t do it in the house. Thank God. | 没 没 他不是在房子里自杀的 真是老天有眼 |
| [00:35] | Even with an ocean view, suicide homes are a bitch to unload. | 就算是有再漂亮的海景 有人自杀过的房子也很难出手 |
| [00:41] | Keephat in mind in case you ever want to teach your brother a lesson. | 哪天你要是想教训你哥 别忘了这个茬 |
| [00:45] | Thanks for the tip. | 多谢提醒 |
| [00:48] | Good morning, Alan. Morning, Jake. Satan. | 早上好 艾伦 早上好 杰克 早上好 恶魔 |
| [00:56] | Good morning, darling. Two coffee cups? | 早上好 亲爱的 准备两个咖啡杯? |
| [00:59] | Did you have a friend spend the night? | 有朋友在这过夜了吧? |
| [01:01] | Yes, I did. | 是的 有 |
| [01:02] | Couldn’t get her to stand on the trapdoor, huh? | 早上起来撵不走了吧? |
| [01:06] | Charlie, I don’t have time for coffee, so… | 查理 我没时间喝咖啡了 所以… |
| [01:10] | -Oh, hello. -Hello. | -哦 你好 -你好 |
| [01:12] | Uh, Chelsea, this is my mother. | 切尔西 这是我妈 |
| [01:14] | Mom, this is Chelsea. | 老妈 这是切尔西 |
| [01:16] | -Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you, too. | -很高兴认识你 -我也是 |
| [01:18] | Welcome back to the States. | 欢迎回国 |
| [01:23] | Thank you. Where have I been? | 谢谢 不过我去哪国了? |
| [01:26] | Charlie says you have a place in Italy and… | 查理说你在意大利有房子… |
| [01:28] | You know, Chelsea, sometimes when I’m drunk, I make up stories, so… | 切尔西 有时候我喝多了 就会编点小故事 所以… |
| [01:32] | You know, grain of salt. | 嘿 不要全当真啦 |
| [01:35] | That is quite an engagement ring. | 多漂亮的订婚戒指啊 |
| [01:38] | Thank you. | 过奖了 |
| [01:39] | Does your fianc\ know about this one? | 你的未婚夫大概不知道 你和我儿子在一起吧? |
| [01:42] | My fianc\ is thione. | 我未婚夫就是您的儿子 |
| [01:50] | You want me to put this in a travel mug? | 想让我帮你把这杯咖啡打包不? |
| [01:54] | You didn’t tell your mother we’re engaged? | 咱们订婚你都没和你妈说? |
| [01:55] | If she hadn’t sold me the house, she wouldn’t even know where I live. | 如果这房子不是她卖给我的 她都不会知道我住哪 |
| [02:07] | When were you going to tell her about me? At the wedding? | 那你打算啥时候告诉她我们的事? 婚礼上吗? |
| [02:09] | Well, technically, I think we have up to a year after that. | 严格的说 本打算是结婚一年后 |
| [02:13] | Shame on you. I am so sorry. | 你真是太丢人了 真对不起 |
| [02:15] | It’s all right, dear. I’m used to it. | 没关系 亲爱的 我都习惯了 |
| [02:18] | Although a phone call would have been nice. | 话说回来 你打个电话会死呀 |
| [02:22] | It’s good to meet you. Excuse me. | 很高兴见到你 失陪 |
| [02:32] | So, yea or nay on the travel mug? | 那 这咖啡到底还打不打包? |
| [02:35] | Charlie, you just broke your mother’s heart. | 查理 你伤了你妈的心 |
| [02:48] | How is that funny? | 这有什么好笑的? |
| [02:50] | It’s not. Guys, a little respect. | 一点都不好笑 各位 放尊重点 |
| [02:53] | What is wrong with you? | 什么毛病呀 你们这都是? |
| [02:56] | Same stuff as always, nothing new. | 还是那些老毛病 没啥新鲜的 |
| [02:59] | Does this smell like butt to you? | 你闻我手上有臭屁股味吗? |
| [03:11] | I’m glad you came over. | 很高兴你今晚来我这住 |
| [03:13] | That was the plan, wasn’t it? | 不是说好了吗? |
| [03:16] | Yeah, but I thought you might still be angry with me. | 对 不过我以为你还在生我的气 |
| [03:19] | I’m not angry, Charlie. I’m just disappointed. | 我不是生气 查理 有点失望而已 |
| [03:22] | Gee, I’d kind of prefer it if you were angry. | 天 我倒是挺希望你在生气 |
| [03:26] | Why? | 为什么? |
| [03:28] | Because angry sex is hot. | 因为气冲冲的嘿咻很带劲 |
| [03:30] | Disappointed sex is… well, we might as well be married. | 要是带着失望嘿咻… 嗯 我们最好是已婚了的 |
| [03:35] | -Just brush your teeth. -Brushing. | -刷你的牙去吧 -刷着呢 |
| [03:38] | Look, I understand you have a difficult relationship with your mom. | 我知道你和你妈相处得不怎么样 |
| [03:43] | But it makes things kind of tough on me. | 但是这样让我很难做 |
| [03:46] | Hey, I don’t expect you to dislike her right away. | 我没指望你这么快就能讨厌她 |
| [03:48] | Give it time. Let it happen naturally. | 假以时日 自然而然的就会发生了 |
| [03:53] | That’s not funny. | 别拿无赖当有趣 |
| [03:54] | If I’m going to marry into your family, I want us | 要是我成了你们家的人 我希望 |
| [03:57] | to act like a family, care for each other. | 咱们能像一家人一样 相互关心 |
| [04:00] | With my family, it’s kind of either/or. | 就我家的情况来说 两者不可兼得 |
| [04:03] | Let me put it this way. | 那我就直说吧 |
| [04:04] | I’m taking your mother to lunch on Thursday. | 周四 我要带你妈出去吃个午饭 |
| [04:11] | You’re doing wha | 你要干啥? |
| [04:13] | I’m not going to participate in this childish little feud of yours. | 我才不要像你这么孩子气 |
| [04:17] | It’s not a childish feud. Boy. | 才不是孩子气呢 妈唉 |
| [04:22] | Come on, Charlie. | 快得了吧 查理 |
| [04:23] | What’s wrong with me having a warm and healthy relationship with your mother? | 我和你妈保持亲密良好的关系 有什么不对吗? |
| [04:26] | Well, for starters, you’ll be the only one. | 跟你说吧 只有你才会这么做 |
| [04:30] | Ever. | 史无前例 |
| [04:33] | Oh, don’t be so dramatic. | 别弄得跟演戏似的 |
| [04:34] | No, no, no, no. I’m not being dramatic enough. | 不 不 我表现得还不够到位 |
| [04:37] | I should be wearing tights and holding a skull. | 我应该穿上紧身裤 再拿个骷髅头 |
| [04:41] | Preferably hers. | 最好是我妈的头 |
| [04:43] | It’s just lunch. | 不过是吃个午饭而已 |
| [04:44] | That’s what Hitler said Czechoslovakia. | 当年希特勒就是这么哄捷克斯洛伐克的 |
| [04:48] | Hitler said, “It’s just lunch”? | 希特勒说 “只不过是吃个午饭而已”? |
| [04:51] | Well, he said it in German. | 嗯 他用德语说的 |
| [04:53] | Watch the History Channel. | 多看看历史频道吧 |
| [04:56] | Charlie, I’m not doing this to hurt you. | 查理 我这么做不是想伤害你 |
| [04:59] | Did you ever think that by my spending time with your mother, | 你就没想过 我多花时间陪陪你妈 |
| [05:01] | I can get a better understanding of you? | 就能更加了解你吗? |
| [05:04] | Chelsea, trust me. | 切尔西 信我这一回 |
| [05:06] | Any insight you gain into me via my mother will end our relationship faster | 你从我妈那得到的对我的理解 只会加速咱们感情破裂 |
| [05:10] | than catching me in bed with a farm animal. | 比抓到我奸淫动物还有效 |
| [05:14] | Just relax. It’ll be fine. | 别想那么多了 没事的 |
| [05:17] | That’s what Hitler said to Poland. | 希特勒跟波兰就是这么说的 |
| [05:22] | And for the record, as long as we’ve been going out, I’ve never met your mother. | 话又说回来了 咱俩约会了这么久 我也没见过你妈呢 |
| [05:26] | My mother’s in Illinois. | 我妈住在伊利诺斯州呢 |
| [05:28] | Oh, yeah, and my mother’s in “Italy.” | 是呀 我妈还住在”意大利”呢 |
| [05:32] | My mother really lives in Illinois. | 我妈是真的在伊利诺斯州 |
| [05:34] | And besides, when you meet her, | 而且 你要是见过了她就会知道 |
| [05:36] | you will count your blessings you have someone as wonderful as your mom. | 有你妈这么好的人当妈有多幸运 |
| [05:40] | Tell you what, I’ll trade you. Sight unseen, my mom for yours. | 这么着吧 我和你公平交换 你妈我妈 咱们谁也不见 |
| [05:44] | -Charlie. -I’ll even throw in Alan and a couple of Omaha steaks. | -查理 -就算再搭上艾伦和几块奥马哈牛排也在所不惜 |
| [05:48] | Come here. | 过来 |
| [05:50] | No, I don’t want to. I’m too upset. | 不 我不要 太心烦了 |
| [05:56] | Okay. Good night. | 行 那晚安 |
| [05:59] | I’m sorry. I can’t separate my emotions from my body. | 很抱歉 我不能把我的精神同肉体分离 |
| [06:03] | -I understand. -I don’t want to punish you. | -我理解 -我不是想惩罚你 |
| [06:06] | I’m just saying, if my heart’s not in it, | 我只是觉得 要是我的心思不在这上面 |
| [06:08] | then it’s just my penis going through the motions. | 那就剩下我的小弟弟来回乱动而已了 |
| [06:11] | Well, we certainly wouldn’t want that. | 嗯 那可不是咱们想要的 |
| [06:13] | -Good night. -Good night. | -晚安 -晚安 |
| [06:24] | 17***** | 17分钟后… |
| [06:32] | Chelsea? | 切尔西 |
| [06:34] | I’m not upset anymore. | 我现在不心烦了 |
| [06:39] | Charlie, I’m sleeping. | 查理 我都睡着了 |
| [06:41] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [06:43] | Can you just wake up enough so it’s not weird? | 你能配合我做点反应 让我感觉不那么奇怪吗? |
| [06:49] | Never mind. Sweet dreams. | 没事了 好梦 |
| [06:56] | Okay, let me remind you, | 好吧 我只是想提醒你一下 |
| [06:59] | this is Malibu beachfront property. | 这可是位于马里布的海边别墅 |
| [07:01] | The previous owner had a spectacular view as he filled his pockets with rocks | 前房主在口袋里装满石头 毅然决然跳进去的时候 |
| [07:06] | and jumped into the pool. | 眼前可是无比壮观的海景啊 |
| [07:10] | -Mom? -Hang on. | -妈? -等一会先 |
| [07:13] | No, it’s not a suicide home. | 不 那个房子里面没人自杀啊 |
| [07:16] | At most it’s… suicide adjacent. | 你最多只能说它…挨着自杀现场 |
| [07:21] | All right, get back to me. | 好吧 我们再联系 |
| [07:25] | What are you doing here? | 你怎么会来这? |
| [07:27] | What, I can’t come visit my mother at work? | 难道我就不能是在工作时间 来看看我妈吗? |
| [07:30] | Well, I suppose you could, but I’ve been here for 22 years and you never have. | 当然可以 只不过我在这工作了22年 你之前从没来过 |
| [07:34] | Well, maybe if you validated parking. | 你要是能帮我减免停车费 大概情况就不一样了 |
| [07:39] | Or any part of my life. | 或者对我的生活稍微多点认可 |
| [07:41] | What do you want, Charlie? | 你找我什么事 查理? |
| [07:43] | Okay, first of all, I want to apologize for | 首先我想跟你道歉 |
| [07:45] | not telling you about Chelsea and the engagement. | 没跟你提起切尔西 还有我俩订婚的事 |
| [07:49] | I know that was wrong and selfish of me. | 我知道我这么做自私又愚蠢 |
| [07:52] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [07:53] | Good, I’m glad we got that out of the way. | 好 很高兴这件事解决了 |
| [07:56] | So, I understand you guys are having lunch tomorrow. | 我知道你们俩明天中午要一起吃饭 |
| [07:59] | Yes, we are. Is that a problem? | 是啊 已经约好了 有什么问题吗? |
| [08:01] | No, no, no, it’s great. | 没有没有 再好不过了 |
| [08:03] | I came all the way down here and paid for my own parking | 我这么大老远的 自己缴了停车费过来 |
| [08:05] | to tell you it’s great. | 就是为了告诉你这样很好 |
| [08:10] | All right, let’s put our cards on the table. | 好吧 我们还是直说了吧 |
| [08:13] | What’s your angle? | 你想干什么? |
| [08:15] | Angle? I have no angle. | 干什么? 我没想干什么啊 |
| [08:18] | Yeah, and I have no hangover. | 是啊 我也没有宿醉 |
| [08:21] | Look, Charlie, if you’re really going to marry this woman, | 听着 查理 我只是觉得 如果你真的要跟她结婚的话 |
| [08:24] | I want to get started on the right foot with her. | 我应该和她把关系处好 |
| [08:26] | I don’t want to make the same mistake I made with Alan’s wife June. | 我不想再重蹈我和 艾伦的前妻朱恩的覆辙 |
| [08:30] | Judith. | 朱迪丝 |
| [08:31] | Oh, whatever. | 噢 管她叫什么 |
| [08:33] | Heinous woman. | 那个母老虎 |
| [08:36] | The fact remains, had I overlooked that | 事情已经这样了 但如果当初我能宽容地 |
| [08:39] | and welcomed her into the family, | 欢迎她加入我们的家庭的话 |
| [08:40] | she wouldn’t have kept me at arm’s length all during Jake’s formative years | 她就不会在杰克性格养成的时候 将我拒之门外了 |
| [08:44] | and I’d have a better relationship with him today. | 现在我和他也会有更亲近的关系了 |
| [08:46] | Do you want a better relationship with him? | 你真想和他更亲近? |
| [08:48] | Not the way he is now. | 像他现在这样当然不想了 |
| [08:52] | But if I’d gotten to him earlier, | 但如果我能早点教育他的话 |
| [08:55] | he wouldn’t have the manners of an outhouse rat. | 他绝对不会学得跟个野老鼠一样 |
| [08:58] | So, bottom line: you want a good relationship with Chelsea | 说白了 你想跟切尔西处好关系 |
| [09:02] | so you can get your hooks into the next generation? | 进而把你的魔掌伸向我们的儿女? |
| [09:05] | Can’t I just want to be a loving mother and grandmother? | 我就想做个合格的妈妈和奶奶 不可以吗? |
| [09:09] | Well, I suppose you could, but I’ve been here 40 years and you never have. | 当然可以 只不过我在你身边40年了 你之前从没做过 |
| [09:18] | Evelyn Harper. | 伊夫琳 哈珀 |
| [09:20] | Oh, hello, Dr. Yakimora. What’s up? | 你好 Yakimora医生 有什么事吗? |
| [09:23] | That is good news. What’s the address? | 真是个好消息啊 在哪儿呢? |
| [09:29] | Nice neighborhood. Thanks for the tip. | 环境很不错啊 多谢通知 |
| [09:33] | What’s the good news? | 什么好消息? |
| [09:35] | Massive coronary in Brentwood. | 位于布伦特伍德区交通要道处的房子 |
| [09:38] | Six bedrooms, four baths, and a fully equipped gym that | 六卧四卫 还带一个设施齐全的健身房 |
| [09:41] | that idiot shouldn’t have been using. | 大概那个倒霉的白痴都没怎么用过呢 |
| [09:44] | Now, if you’ll excuse me, Mommy has to fly faster than the other vultures. | 那 如果你没别的事 你老妈我得先下手为强了 |
| [10:17] | You mother took me to the most adorable little restaurant. | 你妈带我去了一个超可爱的小餐厅 |
| [10:21] | No kidding. | 真的啊 |
| [10:23] | It’s called Mon Grenier du Vivre. | 那个餐厅叫”Mon Grenier du Vivre” |
| [10:26] | You know what that means? | 你知道是什么意思吗? |
| [10:27] | Probably “The Spider’s Web.” | 大概是”蜘蛛布下的天罗地网” |
| [10:30] | Charlie… | 查理… |
| [10:32] | The Devil’s Barbecue? | 不然叫”恶魔的野餐”? |
| [10:35] | Be nice. | 别这么刻薄 |
| [10:37] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [10:40] | Bitch in the Box? | 或者”披着羊皮的狼”? |
| [10:46] | So what did you guys talk about? | 那你们都聊了些什么呢? |
| [10:47] | You know, everything. | 我们无话不谈 |
| [10:49] | She’s so smart and funny. | 她聪明又幽默 |
| [10:52] | She’s been through so much. She’s a real survivor. | 经历了这么多事 她真称得上是生活的强者 |
| [10:55] | Just remember, in order for her to be a survivor, others had to die. | 记住这个话 只要她还活着 大家就休想消停 |
| [11:00] | Okay, that’s enough. Your mom’s a terrific lady. | 够了 别再这样说你妈 她是个了不起的女人 |
| [11:03] | And I’m starting to think that any problem you have with her | 我开始觉得你俩要是有矛盾的话 |
| [11:06] | is your problem, not hers. | 也肯定是你不对 而不会是她 |
| [11:08] | Oh, damn, it’s too late. | 惨了 太晚了 |
| [11:10] | You’re infected with the virus. | 你已经完全被病毒感染了 |
| [11:13] | Stop it. | 不要这样 |
| [11:15] | I’m sorry, but when you fall asleep tonight, I’m gonna have to set you on fire. | 抱歉 但等你今晚睡着以后 我得放火把你烧了 |
| [11:19] | Shut up. | 闭嘴 |
| [11:21] | Believe me, Charlie, when you meet my mom, | 相信我 查理 你要是见了我妈 |
| [11:23] | you’ll thank God for Evelyn. | 你就能体会伊夫琳的好了 |
| [11:25] | What the hell is your mom, a rabid werewolf that craps hot lava on people? | 那你妈会是什么怪物 拉出火山岩攻击人的狂暴狼人? |
| [11:31] | Never mind about my mother. Let’s play. | 别再提我妈了 我们来玩吧 |
| [11:35] | I don’t know. | 还是不要了 |
| [11:37] | What’s the matter? | 怎么了? |
| [11:39] | All this talk about mothers, I’m not in the mood. | 讲了这么久老妈的话题 我都没兴致了 |
| [11:41] | I bet I could get you in the mood. | 我会让你”兴致勃勃”的 |
| [11:43] | Maybe, but it’d be a cheap manipulation. | 或许吧 但过程肯定会很草率 |
| [11:48] | All right, but don’t come rubbing up against me in the middle of the night. | 随便你 不过半夜可别来过来 在我身上蹭来蹭去啊 |
| [11:52] | I won’t. | 绝对不会 |
| [11:53] | -Fine. Good night. -Good night. | -那好 晚安 -晚安 |
| [12:05] | 22********* | 22分钟后 |
| [12:10] | Don’t even think about it. | 想都不要想 |
| [12:20] | Listen, you gotta do me a favor. | 听着 你得帮我个忙 |
| [12:22] | That’s what I live for. | 这就是我生存的意义 |
| [12:25] | Sarcasm is for winners, Alan. | 你这种不成器的家伙 可不配说风凉话 艾伦 |
| [12:32] | What can I do for you? | 我能帮你做什么? |
| [12:33] | Chelsea’s somehow gotten it into her head that Mom is, | 不知怎么的 切尔西竟然觉得老妈是… |
| [12:36] | you know, human, and you need to set her straight. | 觉得她是人类 你得把这种错误的思想给纠正了 |
| [12:42] | Why don’t you set her straight? | 为什么你不自己来? |
| [12:43] | I tried, but she doesn’t believe me. | 我当然试过了 但她都不肯信我 |
| [12:45] | Probably because I turned out okay. | 大概是因为我出落得一表人才 |
| [12:50] | She needs to hear about Mom from somebody | 她需要某些事业生活不得志的人 |
| [12:53] | whose life is completely wrecked and unsalvageable, i.e., you. | 跟她谈谈我们的老妈 就像你 |
| [12:56] | Thanks. And what do you expect me to say? | 多谢夸奖 你想让我怎么跟她说? |
| [13:00] | I don’t know.Just tell her about your phobias, | 不知道 跟她说说你的恐惧和不安 |
| [13:03] | your obsessions, your failures with work, marriage, and parenthood. | 一败涂地的工作 婚姻 还有作为父亲的不称职 |
| [13:06] | She’ll connect the dots. | 她就会懂了 |
| [13:09] | You know what? I think I’ll pass. | 知道吗? 我想我还是不要了 |
| [13:11] | Oh, come on. I always back you up | 别这样啊 每次你需要我的时候 |
| [13:13] | when you need me. | 我可都是义不容辞两肋插刀 |
| [13:15] | When have you ever backed me up? | 你什么时候为我两肋插刀了? |
| [13:18] | Okay, let’s just stay focused on my problems. | 算了 我们还是专心来谈我的问题 |
| [13:21] | Listen, Charlie, I’m not gonna argue that we didn’t have a difficult childhood, | 听着 查理 或许你说的对 我们的童年很不顺 |
| [13:24] | but really, who had a good one? | 不过你认真想想 谁的童年是美好的? |
| [13:26] | And isn’t it time we forgive and forget? | 试着理解和忘却 好吗? |
| [13:29] | Where’s this coming from? | 你这些狗屁话是从哪学来的? |
| [13:31] | No, I’m just saying that maybe our lives would be richer | 我只是觉得 如果我们别再对老妈做这些无谓的攻击 |
| [13:34] | if we let go of this pointless resentment toward our mother and, | 而是将精力专注在我们各自的生活上 |
| [13:37] | and just moved on with our lives. | 说不准我们会更充实 生活也更美好 |
| [13:40] | She got to you, didn’t she? | 她把你收买了 是吧? |
| [13:43] | What are you talking about? | 听不懂你在说什么 |
| [13:44] | What did she do? Pay off your car? | 你怎么就中招了呢? 她帮你还清了汽车贷款? |
| [13:48] | Get that dead black tooth fixed? | 还是出钱补好了你那颗烂牙? |
| [13:51] | Oh, listen to yourself. Excuse me. I have to go to work. | 随便你怎么说 不好意思 我得去上班了 |
| [13:54] | -Hold it. -What? | -别动 -干啥? |
| [13:57] | -Your watch. -What about it? | -你那表 -表怎么了? |
| [14:00] | It doesn’t have Hamburglars on the wristband. | 表带上没有汉堡神偷了 (偷汉堡包吃的麦当劳卡通人物) |
| [14:05] | So? | 那又怎样? |
| [14:07] | -Let me see it. -No, it’s mine. | -我看看 -不给看 我的表 |
| [14:10] | Let me see it! Let me see it! | 拿过来吧你! |
| [14:15] | This is a Rolex. | 这可是劳力士 |
| [14:18] | You sold me out for a watch. | 你为了块表就把我出卖了 |
| [14:20] | Hey, I did not sell you out for a watch! | 我可没随便为了块表就出卖你 |
| [14:22] | I sold you out for a certified Swiss chronometer. | 我是为了这块官方认证的 瑞士高级精密表才出卖你的 |
| [14:27] | Stainless steel Submariner, waterproof up to 300 mets. | 全不锈钢潜水表 300米防水 |
| [14:31] | And look, it winds itself. | 更牛的是 还能自动上弦 |
| [14:37] | Put it on your right arm, it’ll run forever. | 你要戴右手上 永远都不用上弦了 (暗讽艾伦总打手枪) |
| [14:46] | Oh, good thinking. | 好主意 |
| [14:48] | Oh, hey, look what else I got. | 看老妈还给我啥了 |
| [14:50] | Genuine porcelain veneer. | 正宗烤瓷的 |
| [14:54] | From an English-speaking dentist. | 这回是个说英语的牙医给弄的 |
| [14:57] | From an English-speaking dentist. | 说英语的牙医给弄的 臭美啥 |
| [15:03] | Hey, Jake, I need a favor. | 杰克 帮个忙 |
| [15:04] | Sorry, I can’t say bad things about Grandma. | 抱歉 我不能说奶奶坏话 |
| [15:07] | Okay, what did she buy you? | 是吗 她给你买啥了? |
| [15:10] | A new guitar? Minibike? | 一把新吉他? 微型摩托车? |
| [15:12] | Pizza. | 批萨 |
| [15:15] | You sold me out for a pizza? | 你为了份批萨就把我卖了? |
| [15:17] | Not just a pizza. A meat-lover’s pizza. | 可不是一般批萨 是纯肉批萨 |
| [15:27] | * M is for the misery she caused me | *M代表她带给我的苦难(Misery)* |
| [15:33] | * O is for the other things she did | *O是她干的其它事(Other things)* |
| [15:39] | * T is for the traitor who’s my brother | *T就是我那叛徒(Traitor)兄弟* |
| [15:46] | * H is for the…hump who is his kid | *H是他那驼背(Hump)儿子* |
| [15:53] | No, it’s true. They can bleach anything these days. | 不 真的 现在啥都能漂白 |
| [15:58] | Really? It’s gotta burn like hell. | 是吗? 那穿上还不烧死了 |
| [16:01] | Oh, like a lit cigar. | 跟穿根点着的雪茄似的 |
| [16:04] | But it’s worth . Curb appeal isn’t just for the front door. | 但也值了 人靠衣装马靠鞍嘛 |
| [16:09] | * E is for extremely frightening girl talk. | *E是极度(Extremely)吓人的女生对话* |
| [16:15] | Hey, honey. | 嗨 宝贝 |
| [16:16] | How was shopping? | 购物愉快吗? |
| [16:17] | Mom, pick up any new souls? | 妈 又买着新的灵魂了? |
| [16:21] | Charlie, that’s uncalled for. | 查理 别无理取闹 |
| [16:23] | It’s okay, Chelsea. He can’t help himself. | 没事 切尔西 他控制不了自己 |
| [16:27] | Yes, he can. | 不 他能控制的了 |
| [16:28] | There’s no excuse for speaking to your mother that way. | 不管你有什么借口 都不能那么跟你母亲说话 |
| [16:32] | You don’t know that. | 你是不知道(我有的是借口) |
| [16:34] | Evelyn, thank you for a wonderful day. | 伊夫琳 多谢今天陪我逛街 |
| [16:37] | The pleasure was mine. It’s nice to be appreciated for a change. | 没事 今天我也过得很愉快 |
| [16:41] | -Are we on for yoga tomorrow? -Can’t wait. | -说定了明天一起练瑜伽? -等不急了 |
| [16:45] | Oh, and of course, you and Charlie are coming for dinner on Saturday. | 对了 你和查理周六过来吃晚饭 |
| [16:48] | -We wouldn’t miss it. -Um, uh, actually… | -肯定过去 -实际上… |
| [16:52] | Chels, we have plans on Saturday, remember? | 切尔西 我们周六已经有安排了 你忘了? |
| [16:54] | What plans? | 什么安排? |
| [16:56] | Oh, for God’s sake, can’t you just play along? | 天老爷啊 你就不能配合我一下? |
| [17:00] | -We’ll be there. -Wonderful. Ta-ta. | -我们会去的 -好极了 谢谢 |
| [17:06] | -Are you proud of yourself? -Not really. I lost that one. | -高兴了吧? -没呀 还是没躲过去 |
| [17:12] | * R is for the rifle in my mouth | *R是塞进我嘴里的机枪(Rifle)* |
| [17:20] | * Put them all together, they spell “mother” | *合在一起就念作”MOTHER”(妈)* |
| [17:26] | * A word that’s only half of how I feel. | *只是表达我此刻心情的两字之一* (他是想骂”妈的”) |
| [17:42] | Hello, I am Alan Cousteau. | 你好 我是艾伦 库斯托 (艾伦在模仿电影”海底水世界”的情节) |
| [17:48] | I left the Calypso at…0500 hours, | 于凌晨5点离开卡吕普索号 |
| [17:55] | and have descended to a depth of 60 fathoms. | 已潜到水下110米 |
| [17:59] | And yet my Rolex is keeping perfect time. | 我的劳力士仍然运转良好 |
| [18:06] | Oh, ok, there goes a giant squid. | 看啊 一只巨大的乌贼游了过去 |
| [18:11] | Alan? | 艾伦? |
| [18:17] | Yes? | 啥事? |
| [18:19] | What are you doing? | 你干啥呢? |
| [18:25] | I got no good answer. | 我编不出来啥好理由 |
| [18:29] | It’s Saturday night, | 现在是周六晚上 |
| [18:29] | and I’m all alone. | 我却独自一人 (美国人周六晚上习惯出去玩或聚会) |
| [18:32] | Do you know where Charlie is? | 你知道查理去哪了吗? |
| [18:33] | We’re supposed to be at your mother’s at 7:00. | 我们应该7点就到你妈妈家 |
| [18:36] | Oh, you are cutting it close. | 是吗 马上就要7点了 |
| [18:41] | Have you seen him? | 你看见他没? |
| [18:42] | Uh, not for a couple of hours. Have you tried his cell? | 有好几个小时没见他了 打他手机了吗? |
| [18:44] | I did. There’s no answer. I’m getting worried. | 打过了 没人接 我有点担心了 |
| [18:48] | Chelsea, I’m home. | 切尔西 我回来了 |
| [18:50] | Thank goodness. | 谢天谢地 |
| [18:53] | I return to the deep. | 重返深海 |
| [18:57] | Where have you been? | 你去哪了? |
| [18:58] | Picking up a little surprise for you. Come on in. | 给你带来个小惊喜 进来吧 |
| [19:03] | Mom? | 老妈? |
| [19:05] | Hello, sweetie. | 你好 宝贝 |
| [19:08] | Ooh, feels like you gave up on the Jenny Craig, huh? | 看来你有一阵没吃减肥药了 (Jenny Craig:美国一减肥药品牌) |
| [19:14] | What are you doing here? | 你干啥来了? |
| [19:15] | I flew her in from Illinois. | 我带她从伊利诺伊州坐飞机过来的 |
| [19:16] | First class. Very swanky. | 头等舱 特豪华 |
| [19:19] | Of course, I had some rich Jew lawyer chewing my ear off the whole way. | 还有个有钱的犹太律师 在我耳边唠叨了一路 |
| [19:24] | Tell her about the food. | 跟她说说飞机上的吃的 |
| [19:26] | Oh, the food was terrific, but the flight attendant was a colored homo. | 食物特棒 但那空姐是个黑人女同 |
| [19:33] | I’m glad they make ’em pick up the dinner rolls with tongs ’cause I can’t risk the AIDS. | 还好他们得按规定用夹子取食物 我可害怕染上艾滋 |
| [19:41] | I hope you didn’t fill up. | 希望你没吃得太饱 |
| [19:42] | We’re going to my mom’s for dinner. | 我们还要一起去我妈那吃晚饭 |
| [19:44] | Oh, how nice. | 太热情了 |
| [19:46] | Now be honest with me, Charlie. | 跟我说实话 查理 |
| [19:48] | You’re sdark and handsome, | 你肤色这么健康 长得又这么帅 |
| [19:51] | you gotta have some dago in ya, right? | 你肯定有拉丁血统 是不? |
| [19:56] | God, I love your mom. | 老天 我爱死你妈妈了 |
| [20:04] | That was the worst dinner of my life. | 这是我这辈子吃过最糟的一顿晚饭 |
| [20:08] | Really? I thought the two moms hit it off. | 是吗? 我看那两个老妈挺合得来的 |
| [20:12] | Kinda country mouse, city mouse. | 有点乡下老鼠和城里老鼠的意思 (一个英语童话故事) |
| [20:15] | I especially liked the partrt when country mouse kicked off her shoes, | 尤其是这段 乡下老鼠把鞋脱了 |
| [20:19] | put her big yellow bunions | 把她那长着拇趾囊肿的大黄脚 |
| [20:21] | on city mouse’s mahogany coffee table | 放到城里老鼠那桃木咖啡桌上 |
| [20:23] | and asked her how she liked having a commie A-rab for a president. | 然后问她要是找个 阿拉伯共产党当总统会怎样 |
| [20:29] | You’ve made your point, Charlie. | 查理 这招算你狠 |
| [20:31] | Point? Whatever do you mean? | 什么招? 你说啥呢? |
| [20:35] | You leave my mother alone, and I’ll leave yours alone. | 你别再去招惹我妈 我也再不去找你妈了 |
| [20:37] | Well, gosh, I don’t know. | 这还真不好说 |
| [20:39] | I’ve really taken a shine to your mom. | 我和你妈倒是挺来电 |
| [20:42] | She promised to teach me how to chew tobacco and burn a cross. | 她答应要教我怎么嚼烟叶 怎么给十字架放把火 |
| [20:46] | Do we have a deal or not? | 你到底同意不? |
| [20:48] | Deal. Come here. | 同意 过来 |
| [20:49] | I’m not in the mood. | 我可没那心情 |
| [20:52] | All right, but don’t be rubbing up against me in the middle of the night. | 好吧 你半夜可别来摸我 |
| [20:56] | Don’t worry. I won’t. Good night. | 放心吧 我才不会 晚安 |
| [20:59] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [21:10] | All right, I was bluffing. | 好吧 我刚才是装样子的 |
| [21:14] | Feel free to rub. | 随便来摸吧 |
| [21:16] | Ruyourself. | 摸你自己吧 |
| [21:20] | -Chels? -What? | -切尔西? -干啥? |
| [21:24] | Can you watch me so it’s not weird? | 你能看着我不?感觉就没那么怪了 |