时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:04] | Hey you got anything special going on next week? | 你下周有什么特别安排吗 |
[00:07] | Well let’s see… next week. | 让我想想 下个星期 |
[00:11] | I like to keep mondays free for hangovers. | 周一还在醒酒 |
[00:14] | Tuesday i was planning on getting a haircut | 周二去剪个头发 |
[00:16] | Mani/pedi and a facial. | 然后做个美甲和美容 |
[00:18] | You know guy stuff. | 你也知道男人的那些事 |
[00:20] | Wednesday i have a meeting with my business manager | 周三和经纪人有个约会 |
[00:23] | To discuss my retirement plan. | 谈论下我的退休计划 |
[00:25] | And as you know thursday and friday | 你是了解我的周四和周五的 |
[00:28] | Are kind of my “me” days. | 属于自由发挥时间 |
[00:31] | Why do you ask? | 你为什么问这个 |
[00:33] | I was thinking since i have a couple days off | 我在考虑刚好有几天休息 |
[00:35] | We could fly to illinois and visit my parents. | 我们可以一起去伊利诺伊看我父母 |
[00:38] | Oh. | 哦 |
[00:40] | I mean you’ve only met my mother once | 你也只见过我老妈一次 |
[00:41] | And you’ve never met my dad. | 还从来没见过我老爸 |
[00:43] | That’s true. | 的确 |
[00:44] | And i’d really like him | 而且我非常想 |
[00:45] | To get to know you before the wedding. | 在我们婚礼前让你们互相了解 |
[00:47] | Of course. | 当然应该这样 |
[00:48] | Although sometimes with parents | 通常见父母这个环节 |
[00:50] | I’m better served up as a surprise. | 我都会让父母们有惊无喜的 |
[00:52] | Don’t be silly– he’ll love you. | 别傻了 我老爸肯定喜欢你 |
[00:54] | And i’m sure i’ll love him. | 我也肯定我会喜欢他 |
[00:56] | So good we’ll fly out. | 那说好了 我们一起去 |
[00:59] | Illinois here we come. | 伊利诺伊俺们来了 |
[01:01] | I love you so much. | 我好爱你 |
[01:02] | I love you too. | 俺也爱你 |
[01:04] | Good night. | 晚安 |
[01:05] | Good night. | 晚安 |
[01:14] | – Oh darn it. – what? | -真讨厌啊 -咋啦 |
[01:17] | I just remembered i have an appointment next week. | 我刚想起了来下周有个预约 |
[01:21] | Doctor’s appointment? | 去看医生吗 |
[01:23] | Yes. | 可不是 |
[01:24] | Yes a doctor’s appointment. | 去看医生 |
[01:26] | – Is everything okay? – oh yeah. | -你身体没事吧 -挺好的 |
[01:28] | Yeah just a routine procedure i’ve been putting off. | 就是个常规检查 我推迟了蛮久的 |
[01:31] | What do you mean like a colonoscopy? | 你是说结肠镜检查那种吗 |
[01:33] | Yes exactly. | 没错 正是 |
[01:35] | A colonoscopy. | 结肠镜检查 |
[01:38] | Oh charlie you can’t put that off. | 查理这种检查绝对要按时的 |
[01:41] | No no. no. | 我不去啦 |
[01:42] | I want to meet your dad. | 我要去见你老爸 |
[01:43] | I’ve been putting off getting a colonoscopy for years. | 我都推迟结肠镜检查好几年了 |
[01:46] | Forget it mister. | 就当我没说过吧 |
[01:47] | You’re keeping that appointment. | 你一定要去做检查 |
[01:48] | But what about meeting your dad? | 那见你老爸的事情咋办 |
[01:50] | We’ll do it another time. | 可以以后再去啦 |
[01:52] | Are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
[01:53] | Your health is the most important thing. | 你的健康才是最重要的事情 |
[01:55] | I know how you procrastinate. | 我知道你老便秘 |
[01:57] | I do don’t i? | 就是嘛 |
[01:59] | Boy what would you do without me to take care of you? | 天啊 没我照顾你你该咋办呢 |
[02:03] | Well i’m pretty sure | 我可以肯定的是 |
[02:05] | I wouldn’t be getting a colonoscopy next week. | 我下周肯定不会去做结肠镜 |
[02:16] | Hey. | 嗨 |
[02:18] | Hey. | 嗨 |
[02:38] | You’re not going to believe what i just did. | 你绝对想不到我刚干了什么 |
[03:14] | All right let me see if i’ve got this straight. | 也就是说 |
[03:16] | In order to not spend time with your fiance’s parents | 你为了不去见他爹 |
[03:20] | You’re willing to let a doctor | 你宁愿让医生把摄像头 |
[03:22] | Snake a camera up your keister. | 插进你的菊花 |
[03:25] | I’d be willing to let them shoot an imax feature. | 我还要让医生拍个imax版本的 |
[03:30] | But fortunately it won’t be necessary. | 但是实际上 我才不打算去 |
[03:32] | – Oh how do you figure? – i have a plan. | -你是怎么打算的 -我有计划了 |
[03:34] | Oh a plan. | 计划啊 |
[03:37] | The day of the “procedure “ | 结肠检查日我是这样安排的 |
[03:39] | You’re going to pretend to drive me to the “hospital.” | 你假装开车送我去医院 |
[03:41] | But we’re not going to the hospital. | 但是实际上我们没去医院 |
[03:43] | Precisely. | 是滴 |
[03:44] | What we’ll actually do is go to the movies. | 我们实际上要去电影院 |
[03:46] | Then afterwards we’ll go out for a couple of drinks | 看完电影后 我们一起去喝几杯 |
[03:48] | So when i get home i’ll be appropriately woozy. | 等我们回家的时候 我就会适当地有些虚弱 |
[03:51] | And i’ll tell chelsea | 然后我会和切尔西讲 |
[03:52] | That my colon is clean as a whistle. | 我结肠里污垢油渍全不见了 |
[03:56] | You know a whistle that you swallowed | 当然啦 即便再干净 |
[03:57] | Then blew out your bunghole. | 也是用来排泄用的 |
[04:00] | Sure. | 那是的 |
[04:01] | And then she’ll put me to bed. | 然后切尔西就会让我上床 |
[04:03] | I’ll get some “oh poor charlie” sex | 我就会得到查理好可怜的爱爱 |
[04:05] | With her being ever mindful of my tender area. | 而且她会非常在意我的敏感部位 |
[04:10] | This is a new low even for you. | 话说即使是你也鲜少干这么没品的事 |
[04:12] | Now now to be fair | 公平点吗 |
[04:13] | It’s only a new low in this relationship. | 这是这段感情里鲜少发生的没品的事情 |
[04:15] | True. true. | 的确啊 |
[04:17] | Can i pick the movie? | 我能挑电影吗 |
[04:18] | Fine. | 可以 |
[04:19] | Do i get snacks? | 我可以吃零食吗 |
[04:20] | Yes. | 可以 |
[04:22] | I’m paying for everything. | 我请客 |
[04:24] | Why do we continue to play this game? | 为啥我们每次都要玩这套 |
[04:26] | Because i still have my pride. | 因为我还有我的自尊 |
[04:29] | No you don’t. | 你的骄傲早被狗吃了 |
[04:32] | Charlie you okay? | 查理你还好吗 |
[04:34] | Uh yeah yeah. | 好着呢 |
[04:35] | I was just reminding alan | 我就是提醒艾伦 |
[04:36] | That he has to take me in for my colonoscopy. | 让他送我去做结肠镜检查 |
[04:38] | Oh that’s not necessary. i’ll take you. | 不用了 我送你 |
[04:42] | No no no no no. | 不 不 不 不 不用啦 |
[04:43] | No i don’t want you wasting your time off | 不想你一天时间 |
[04:45] | In a doctor’s waiting room. | 都浪费在候诊室 |
[04:47] | Don’t be ridiculous. i’m driving you. | 别傻了 说好了我送你 |
[04:48] | Now come back to bed. | 现在上床睡觉了 |
[04:56] | Good plan. | 妙计啊 |
[05:01] | No no no no no. | 不 不 不 不 |
[05:02] | You don’t understand. | 你怎么就不理解呢 |
[05:03] | I need a colonoscopy and it has to be next wednesday. | 我要做结肠检查 而且一定要在下周三 |
[05:10] | Yes i’ll hold. | 好的我等着 |
[05:14] | Can you believe it? | 你知道吗 |
[05:15] | Their hold music is “tunnel of love.” | 他们的等待音乐是”爱的隧道” |
[05:18] | It’s better than “brown eyed girl.” | 总比”棕色眼睛的女孩”强 |
[05:20] | Oh god i hope i can get an appointment. | 上帝保佑我能预约上 |
[05:23] | Maybe you should grease a few palms. | 也许你该自己涂点润滑油 |
[05:26] | If it was me i’d be greasing everything. | 如果是我 我能润滑的就都涂上 |
[05:29] | Yeah hi. | 喂 |
[05:31] | Well great great. | 太好了 |
[05:33] | Wednesday 8:00 a.m. | 周三 上午八点 |
[05:34] | Thank you thank you. | 太感谢了 |
[05:35] | You’ve made me very happy. | 真是太让我高兴了 |
[05:38] | Yeah i imagine you don’t hear that too often. | 我知道你很少听到这种话 |
[05:42] | What? | 什么 |
[05:44] | Yeah fine fine. | 没问题 |
[05:45] | I-i-i won’t eat on tuesday. | 我周二不会吃东西 |
[05:47] | What do you mean flush out my system? | “排清体内物体”什么意思 |
[05:51] | Oh ick. | 真恶心 |
[05:55] | All right i’m a little less happy now. | 好吧 我现在没那么高兴了 |
[05:57] | Good-bye. | 再见 |
[05:59] | You won’t believe what they want me to do. | 你知道他们要我干嘛么 |
[06:01] | You mean taking laxatives and drinking a half gallon | 让你吃点泻药 再喝半加仑 |
[06:03] | Of industrial strength colon blow? | 工业用强度的肠道通 |
[06:06] | Oh right you’ve done this before. | 对 你以前做过一次结肠镜 |
[06:09] | It seemed funnier then. | 还是那时感觉好玩点 |
[06:11] | I gotta tell ya it seems pretty funny now. | 我得说 现在才好玩 |
[06:15] | Why don’t you just tell chelsea the truth? | 何不直接跟切尔西说实话 |
[06:18] | What that i’d rather get violated by a long metal tube | 说我宁愿被一条长金属电子管蹂躏 |
[06:20] | Than spend time with her folks? | 也不愿见她爸妈么 |
[06:22] | Somehow i don’t see her taking that | 有时 我觉得她无法领会 |
[06:24] | In the spirit in which it was intended. | 我的话外之音 |
[06:26] | True true. | 确实 |
[06:28] | Well i’ve said it before | 虽然我当初说过 |
[06:30] | And i think i need to say it again. | 但我觉得有必要再说一遍 |
[06:33] | Good plan. | 妙计啊 |
[06:41] | Why isn’t uncle charlie eating? | 查理舅舅怎么不吃饭 |
[06:43] | He has to fast before he goes to the doctor’s tomorrow. | 明天看医生前 他得禁食 |
[06:44] | Is he okay? | 他没事吧 |
[06:46] | Oh yeah. | 没什么 |
[06:46] | He’s just getting a routine test. | 只是做常规检查 |
[06:48] | They’re taking a look at his intestines. | 看一下他的肠道 |
[06:50] | How do they do that? | 怎么看 |
[06:51] | Well what they do is they take a tiny camera | 他们把一个小摄像头 |
[06:53] | And put it on the end of a tube… | 装到一条管子头上 |
[06:55] | Why don’t we eat first? | 吃完饭再说吧 |
[06:56] | Good idea. | 好主意 |
[07:07] | Well i’m happy to report | 很高兴告诉各位 |
[07:09] | I just saw a piece of hubba bubba | 我五年级吞下的一块泡泡糖 |
[07:11] | I swallowed in fifth grade. | 刚刚重现眼前 |
[07:14] | Oh for god’s sake charlie we’re having dinner. | 老天爷 查理 我们正吃饭呢 |
[07:17] | Don’t rub it in. | 别哪壶不开提哪壶 |
[07:20] | Speaking of which i’m out of baby wipes. | 对了 我的婴儿湿巾没了 |
[07:22] | I bought you two boxes of baby wipes. | 我才给你买了两盒呢 |
[07:25] | What can i tell you? | 我能说什么 |
[07:26] | Babies don’t crap like this. | 婴儿会拉成我这样吗 |
[07:32] | At least not healthy babies. | 起码健康婴儿不会 |
[07:35] | There’s a jar of aloe vera under the sink. | 水槽下面有瓶芦荟膏 |
[07:37] | What am i supposed to do with that? | 那个怎么用 |
[07:39] | Oh you put a little glob | 你得挤一点 |
[07:40] | – On the end of your finger… – alan! | -在指尖上 -艾伦 |
[07:43] | It’s cooling and soothing. | 镇静止痛的 |
[07:45] | Oh good good. | 太好了 |
[07:46] | ’cause let me tell you– | 我告诉你 |
[07:47] | You could roast a marsh mallow on my anus. | 我的屁眼烫得能烤棉花糖了 |
[07:52] | You know what’d be good for dessert? | 你们知道甜点应该吃什么吗 |
[07:56] | S’mores. | 棉花糖夹心饼 |
[08:06] | How come i’m not loaded? | 我怎么还没被麻醉 |
[08:08] | They’re supposed to get me loaded | 他们检查前 |
[08:09] | Before they do it right? | 应该先把我麻醉吧 |
[08:11] | Yes. they’ll hook you up to an iv | 对 他们在检查前 |
[08:13] | Right before the procedure. | 会给你静脉注射 |
[08:14] | All right just so we’re all on the same page | 好 只要大家都一致明白 |
[08:16] | I want to be stone-cold out before anything goes in. | 我得没知觉了才能让东西进去 |
[08:18] | I’ll tell them. | 我会告诉他们 |
[08:20] | All i get is a glass of wine and a “pretty please.” | 我只有一杯酒和一句”非常满意” |
[08:24] | All right mr. harper we’re ready. | 好了 哈勃先生 准备好了 |
[08:26] | – Did you bring the drugs with you? – oh no sir. | -你带了麻药么 -没有 |
[08:28] | The anesthesiologist takes care of that. | 麻醉师会搞定这个 |
[08:29] | – Good luck. – thanks. | -祝你好运 -谢谢 |
[08:31] | By the way since we couldn’t make it to illinois | 对了 既然我们不能去伊利诺斯 |
[08:33] | I’m flying my parents in to stay with us for a week. | 我让爸妈坐飞机过来住一周 |
[08:36] | What? | 什么 |
[08:38] | Enjoy your colonoscopy you lying dirtbag. | 好好享受结肠镜吧 你个混蛋骗子 |
[08:41] | You knew? | 你已经知道了 |
[08:43] | I knew. | 早就知道了 |
[08:44] | I’ll give you $1 000 to push me to the parking lot. | 我给你一千大洋推我去停车场 |
[08:54] | How are you feeling? | 感觉怎样 |
[08:56] | Like a new fish at leavenworth. | 像个莱文沃斯监狱的新囚犯 |
[08:59] | Oh don’t be so dramatic. | 少夸张了 |
[09:01] | Good news is you have a clean bill of health. | 好消息是 你有张无疫证明了 |
[09:03] | Yes but i lost my watertight seal. | 话虽如此 可我却肛节不保 |
[09:06] | Yes but you have peace of mind. | 但起码内心平静了 |
[09:09] | Yes but now i can’t wear white at our wedding. | 可我在婚礼时就不能穿纯洁白装了 |
[09:20] | Yay no polyps! | 耶 没有息肉 |
[09:22] | Way to go uncle charlie. | 恭喜 查理舅舅 |
[09:23] | Now you know how it feels. | 自作自受了吧 |
[09:27] | Thanks for calling ahead. | 多亏你提前通知他们 |
[09:28] | There’s the happy couple. | 幸福的一对回来了 |
[09:30] | Welcome home. | 欢迎回家 |
[09:32] | Charlie you remember my mother martha. | 查理 你见过我妈 玛莎 |
[09:33] | And this is my father tom. | 这是我爸 汤姆 |
[09:35] | Good to see you again. | 很高兴又见面了 |
[09:36] | You too. | 我也是 |
[09:38] | Nice to finally meet you charlie. | 闻名不如见面 查理 |
[09:40] | nice to meet you. | 久仰久仰 |
[09:41] | Uh not much of a grip. | 握力不大啊 |
[09:43] | But you’re probably a little weak from your anal probe. | 可能刚做完肠镜有点虚弱 |
[09:50] | Didn’t make me stronger. | 做肠镜没让我变强壮 |
[09:53] | Isn’t this great charlie | 多奇妙啊 查理 |
[09:54] | Because you couldn’t go see them chelsea’s folks | 因为你不能去看他们 |
[09:57] | Dropped everything to come spend time with you. | 切尔西父母放下一切来看你 |
[10:00] | Yeah. it’s great. | 是很奇妙 |
[10:02] | Isn’t it funny how plans work out? | 妙计的结果很有趣吧 |
[10:07] | Hey i found some steaks in the freezer. | 我在冰箱看到有牛排 |
[10:09] | Thought we’d have a little barbecue. | 我们就做烧烤吃吧 |
[10:11] | Oh dad he has to eat light for a while. | 爸爸 他这段时间得吃清淡的 |
[10:13] | Oh please. | 拜托 |
[10:14] | He’s been treated like a girl enough today. | 他今天被当成小妞蹂躏得够久了 |
[10:18] | He’s not wrong. | 他说得没错 |
[10:20] | I’m never wrong about what a man needs. | 我从来不会弄错男人的需求 |
[10:23] | Good golly. | 老天 |
[10:24] | What’s that fruity smell coming from your head? | 你头上怎么有股娘娘腔的味道 |
[10:27] | It’s an apricot conditioner. | 是杏香保湿剂 |
[10:29] | It keeps my hair from getting frizzy | 能让我的头发不起卷 |
[10:30] | With all the humidity. | 并保湿 |
[10:31] | Oh we need to get some meat in you pronto. | 我们得马上给你灌点肉 老兄 |
[10:37] | Tom’s always on guard against the homosexual agenda. | 汤姆总是很提防同性恋的 |
[10:43] | No offense. | 无意冒犯 |
[10:51] | You’re a great cook Tom. | 汤姆 你厨艺不错 |
[10:53] | Well I always say a man’s gotta be self-sufficient. | 我总是说男人要靠自己 |
[10:56] | I agree. | 我同意 |
[10:57] | All I need is booze satellite tv and a housekeeper | 只需要酒 卫星电视和一个管家 |
[11:00] | And I could survive in a cave. | 我就能在洞穴里活下来 |
[11:03] | You know if it were air-conditioned. | 当然 前提是必须有空调 |
[11:05] | I gotta ask you something Charlie. | 我有事问你 查理 |
[11:08] | Okay I admit it. | 好吧 我承认 |
[11:09] | I slept with your daughter. | 我睡了你女儿 |
[11:10] | But don’t worry | 但别担心 |
[11:11] | I’m still going to marry her. | 我还是会娶她的 |
[11:13] | Damn straight you are. | 你真够直接的 |
[11:15] | Which brings me to my question. | 还是先来回答我的问题 |
[11:17] | When a man gets to be your age and he’s never married | 当一个男人到你这样的岁数却从没结过婚 |
[11:20] | It’s usually for one of two reasons. one… | 原因通常有二 一 |
[11:23] | He’s really lucky. | 他真的很幸运 |
[11:26] | You’re right not funny go on. | 你是对的 不好笑 继续 |
[11:28] | What I’m tryin’ to say is | 我想说的是 |
[11:29] | When a man gets to be 40 and he isn’t married | 当一个男人四十岁了却未婚 |
[11:31] | He’s either a rascal or a poof. | 他不是流氓就是同志 |
[11:33] | Interesting. | 真有趣 |
[11:35] | – So? – So what? | -那么 -怎样 |
[11:37] | So which one are you? | 你是哪个 |
[11:38] | Uh… actually there’s a third choice. | 实际上 还有第三种选择 |
[11:42] | What’s that? | 是什么 |
[11:43] | Well sometimes it takes a while for a man to meet his soul mate | 有时候男人找到他的灵魂伴侣要花点时间 |
[11:47] | Like i finally met your daughter. | 就像我终于遇到了你女儿 |
[11:48] | – Soul mate? – Yep. | -灵魂伴侣 -是 |
[11:50] | So poof. | 所以你是同志 |
[11:53] | Oh just kiddin’. | 开个玩笑 |
[11:55] | How are my two favorite fellas doing? | 我最爱的两位男士怎么样呢 |
[11:58] | We’re just fine princess. | 公主 我们很好 |
[11:59] | I just cleaned the grill | 我刚刚清理了烤架 |
[12:00] | And now i’m givin’ your beau here a grillin’. | 现在正在”烤”问你男人一些事 |
[12:02] | Well stick a fork in me ’cause i think i’m done. | 往我身上插把叉子吧 我觉得我已经熟了 |
[12:04] | Sorry honey my dad’s always been a little overprotective. | 抱歉 亲爱的 我爸爸总是对我太过呵护 |
[12:08] | Well i have to be. | 我不得不这样做 |
[12:09] | When it comes to men you’ve always had a rotten picker. | 你挑男人的眼光总是很糟糕 |
[12:13] | No offense. i’m sure you’re the exception. | 无意冒犯 我确信你是个例外 |
[12:15] | I’m glad you’re sure. | 我很高兴你确信 |
[12:17] | Dad why don’t you go see how mom’s doing. | 爸爸 何不去看看妈妈怎么样呢 |
[12:20] | Oh good idea. | 好主意 |
[12:21] | She’s jet-lagged and still pretty wound up | 她飞机时差还没倒过来 |
[12:23] | over having a colored pilot. | 且还对那个黑人驾驶员耿耿于怀 |
[12:28] | What can i say? | 我能说什么呢 |
[12:29] | Mommy and daddy are horrible biggots. | 老爸老妈是可怕的种族主义者 |
[12:33] | But they’re my parents and i gotta love ’em right? | 但他们是我父母 我得爱他们 是吗 |
[12:35] | You’re askin’ the wrong guy. | 你问错人了 |
[12:37] | Look at them though. | 不过还是得看看他们 |
[12:39] | 42 years together | 共同度过了四十二年 |
[12:41] | And they’re still best friends. | 他们还是最好的朋友 |
[12:43] | Well let’s face it. | 面对现实吧 |
[12:44] | Who else would have them? | 他们还能找谁呢 |
[12:46] | At least they don’t lie to each other. | 至少他们彼此坦诚 |
[12:49] | Okay i get it. | 好 我明白了 |
[12:51] | I lied about the colonoscopy. | 结肠镜检查的那事是我撒谎了 |
[12:52] | Trust me i’ve been punished enough. | 相信我 我已经遭够罪了 |
[12:54] | I’m just saying if our marriage is going to last | 我只是说 如果我们的婚姻想要能够持久 |
[12:56] | We have to make a commitment to always be honest with each other. | 我们就得承诺永远对彼此忠诚 |
[12:59] | You have my word. | 我向你保证 |
[13:00] | You’ve given me your word before. | 你以前就向我保证过 |
[13:02] | Well then you’d be silly to take it again wouldn’t you? | 你还会傻傻地再相信一次的 不是吗 |
[13:07] | What? I’m being honest. | 怎么了 我只是实话实说 |
[13:08] | So how are you liking los angeles? | 你们觉得洛杉矶怎么样 |
[13:12] | Well the weather’s lovely. | 天气挺好的 |
[13:14] | Oh it is isn’t it? | 没错 不是吗 |
[13:16] | What we don’t care for are the freeways and mexicans. | 我们不喜欢的是高速公路和墨西哥人 |
[13:21] | Yeah yeah they-they do get congested. | 是 交通确实总是拥堵 |
[13:24] | I think it’s all the cheese they cook with. | 我想都是因为他们做饭用的奶酪的缘故吧 |
[13:32] | How’s everybody getting along out here? | 大家相处得怎么样 |
[13:34] | Oh everything’s fine dear. | 一切都挺好的 亲爱的 |
[13:36] | Remember what we talked about? | 记得我们谈过话吗 |
[13:37] | No politics religion or what have you. | 不谈政治 宗教等 |
[13:40] | You don’t have to tell me twice. | 你不必和我说两次 |
[13:42] | I’m not a polack. | 我又不是波兰猪 |
[13:47] | Hey Charlie when we drove in | 查理 当我开车过来时 |
[13:49] | I noticed a tavern down the road. | 注意到路边有个酒馆 |
[13:51] | How about you and i go out for a drink? | 不如你我去喝两杯吧 |
[13:53] | Get to know each other a little better. | 好让我们更好了解彼此 |
[13:54] | Uh… sure i guess. | 当然可以 |
[13:56] | Although if you’re on the fence about me now | 但是 如果你现在还对我保持观望态度 |
[13:57] | Alcohol isn’t going to really improve my chances. | 酒精并不会改善你对我的印象 |
[14:00] | I think it’s a terrific idea. | 我觉得这主意很好 |
[14:02] | You boys have fun. | 你们玩得开心点 |
[14:04] | All right. I’m buying. | 好吧 我请客 |
[14:10] | Whoa whoa whoa. where are you going? | 你去哪 |
[14:12] | He said he’s buying. | 他说他请客 |
[14:18] | Who would have thought that the best part of my day | 谁能想到我今天最美好的时光 |
[14:21] | would be having a colonoscopy? | 居然是结肠镜检查 |
[14:26] | To my future son-in-law. | 敬我未来的女婿 |
[14:28] | Down the hatch. | 干杯 |
[14:29] | Considering my day | 想想我这一天 |
[14:31] | It’d be more like “up the hatch” | 真是”杯”从中来啊 |
[14:33] | Cheers. | 干杯 |
[14:37] | So Alan Chelsea tells me you’re a chiropractor. | 艾伦 切尔西和我说你是个脊椎指压按摩师 |
[14:40] | I imagine you give a great back rub. | 我想你背部按摩一定很棒 |
[14:43] | Uh well i do but there’s a lot more involved than that. | 我确实做这个 但我的工作并不局限于此 |
[14:45] | I like back rubs. | 我喜欢背部按摩 |
[14:47] | But i need strong hands on me. | 但我需要有力的手 |
[14:50] | Martha’s got these little parrot claws | 玛莎那双手就像是鹦鹉的小爪 |
[14:52] | Can’t get deep in the muscle. | 不能按到深处的肌肉 |
[14:55] | Let me see what you got. | 让我看看你怎么样 |
[14:56] | Hmm. No calluses. | 没有老茧 |
[14:58] | I prefer the feel of calluses. | 我更喜欢老茧的感觉 |
[15:03] | If you want to see calluses | 如果你想看老茧 |
[15:04] | Check the inside of his right palm. | 看看他的右手掌吧 |
[15:09] | Look at that. | 看那个 |
[15:11] | You don’t see that where I come from. | 我们那边 你们是绝不会看到这种情形的 |
[15:13] | Oh come on | 不会吧 |
[15:14] | There’s no gay people where you live? | 你生活的地方没有同志吗 |
[15:16] | Of course there are but they got their own bar. | 当然有 但他们有自己的酒吧 |
[15:18] | Little place called “the log cabin.” on forrester street. | 在弗里斯特街上叫做”小木屋”的小地方 |
[15:22] | Right next to the a&w. | 就在艾德熊餐馆旁边 |
[15:26] | Amazing that people in california | 加州人真是厉害啊 |
[15:31] | can behave that way in public. | 居然可以在公众场合做出如此行为 |
[15:33] | Well we kinda believe in live and let live. | 我们向来信奉宽容待人也会于已方便 |
[15:35] | Oh that’s baloney. | 简单就是胡说八道 |
[15:37] | I believe in the sanctity of the family | 我信奉家庭的圣洁 |
[15:39] | marriage between a man and a woman. | 婚姻中的双方应该是男人与女人 |
[15:44] | But damn those fellas do look happy. | 可是去他妈的 那两个家伙看起来好开心哦 |
[15:47] | Probably ’cause in California | 那是因为加州法律 |
[15:47] | they can’t get married. | 不允许他们结婚 |
[15:52] | Really really happy. | 是真得真得好开心哦 |
[16:07] | Looks like my future father-in-law | 看起来我的未来岳父大人 |
[16:09] | has made some new friends. | 交了些新朋友 |
[16:11] | Yeah. I’m a little confused. | 我有点搞不清楚现在的状况了 |
[16:14] | I don’t think you’re the only one. | 我也正陪你一起搞不清呢 |
[16:17] | Do you really wanna make me cry… | 你真得想让我哭泣吗 |
[16:20] | Oh I love that song. | 我爱死这歌了 |
[16:24] | I hit it out of the park | 我在退伍军人卡拉OK聚会时 |
[16:26] | on Karaoke night at the VFW. | 在停车场听到的 |
[16:27] | Chelsea didn’t tell me you’re a vet. | 切尔西没有告诉我你是名退伍军人 |
[16:30] | Yeah navy. | 我曾是海军 |
[16:31] | Submarine corps. | 潜艇作战部队 |
[16:33] | Oh six month tours under the polar ice cap. | 六个月的任务在极地冰层之下 |
[16:36] | Nothing to do but lift weights shoot the bull | 除了练肌肉吹水外就没什么好做的 |
[16:38] | and enjoy the company of other men. | 当然有男人作伴是一种享受 |
[16:41] | Six months with just men? | 六个月内都只有老爷们儿吗 |
[16:42] | Not just men. | 不是老爷们儿 |
[16:43] | Young men. | 是年轻纯爷们儿 |
[16:44] | Hard men. | 猛男 |
[16:48] | And the hardest of them all was Edward Boyton | 当中最猛的当属爱德华·波伊顿 |
[16:51] | seaman third class | 三等兵水手 |
[16:53] | and my best pal. | 也是我最好的伙伴 |
[16:56] | 1966 we were in the Philippines for a week of r & r army | 1966年 我们在菲律宾待了一个星期 |
[16:59] | and we bought matching shirts. | 还买了配对的恤衫穿 |
[17:01] | Of course you did. | 不买才怪 |
[17:04] | Oh I remember one night | 我记得有个晚上 |
[17:07] | it was real hot and humid. | 又热又闷 |
[17:09] | I can still see | 如今依然可以浮现在我眼前的是 |
[17:11] | the wet silk clinging to his magnificent body. | 那汗湿的丝绸紧贴他那壮硕的身躯 |
[17:16] | Did you see this coming? | 你能料到有这出吗 |
[17:18] | Uh-uh. | 不能 |
[17:19] | Then after we did our hitch we both went our separate ways | 退役后 我们就分开了 |
[17:23] | got married raised kids. | 各自成家立业有了下一代 |
[17:25] | We still exchange christmas cards and family photos every year. | 我们每年都交换圣诞卡片和家庭照片 |
[17:27] | Terrific. Great great. Okay. | 太好了 真是太好了 |
[17:29] | Why don’t we drink up and go home. | 让我们快点一口闷了回家吧 |
[17:32] | He’s still in great shape. | 他的身材依然保持得很好 |
[17:35] | 65 years old and solid as a rock. | 65岁了还似岩石般有型 |
[17:38] | He lives in Valencia. | 他住在巴伦西亚 |
[17:40] | Hey how far is that from here? | 那里离这里有多远 |
[17:42] | Not so far. | 并不远 |
[17:43] | It’s right next to magic mountain. | 就在魔山乐园(加州景点)旁边 |
[17:44] | It’s far Alan… | 艾伦 那里非常远 |
[17:45] | Real far. | 不是一般滴远 |
[17:47] | Right right it-it’s far. | 没错 好远 |
[17:49] | Come on let’s get you home to your lovely wife. | 来吧 让我们回家回到你可爱的太太身边 |
[17:51] | Oh she means well but she doesn’t understand me. | 她对我不错 可她根本不了解我 |
[17:54] | Well you’re obviously a complicated man. | 很显然你是个复杂得让人难以了解的人 |
[17:58] | Now come on | 快走吧 |
[17:59] | We’ve got a big day tomorrow. | 明天安排得满满的 |
[18:01] | Universal Studios then Grauman’s Chinese Theatre… | 环球片场 格劳曼中国大剧院 |
[18:03] | I want to go to Valencia. | 我要去巴伦西亚 |
[18:05] | Okay we’ll pencil it in see if we have time. | 好的 有多余时间我们也可以考虑一下 |
[18:07] | I want to go now! | 我现在就要去 |
[18:08] | I want to see ED! | 我要去见爱德 |
[18:10] | Yeah but ED is probably asleep. | 但是爱德可能已经睡了 |
[18:13] | – You know with his wife. – You want to know a secret? | -旁边还睡着他太太 -你们想听一个秘密吗 |
[18:15] | – No no that’s okay. – Don’t ask don’t tell. | -不用了 -不要打听及谈论八卦 |
[18:16] | That’s our philosophy. | 这是我们的人生哲学 |
[18:18] | I brought my silk shirt | 我把那件丝绸恤衫带来了 |
[18:19] | and a VA just copy of | 还有电影”冰国战云” |
[18:22] | Just in case but shh. | 以防万一用得上 嘘 别讲出去 |
[18:26] | You know who was great in that movie? | 知道那部电影里谁最出彩吗 |
[18:28] | – Rock Hudson. – Shut up. | -罗克·赫德森(50-70年代好莱坞帅哥) -给我闭嘴 |
[18:39] | You guys have fun? | 你们玩得开心吗 |
[18:41] | Oh yeah. | 还行 |
[18:45] | My dad’s really something isn’t he? | 我老爸是个人物吧 |
[18:47] | Uh-huh. | 没错 |
[18:49] | Kind of a man’s man. | 男人中的男人 |
[18:51] | You could say that. | 这样说也行 |
[18:54] | I’m telling you Martha | 我告诉你 玛莎 |
[18:55] | I can’t live this lie anymore! | 我不能再生活在这个谎言里了 |
[18:57] | You’re drunk! | 你喝醉了 |
[18:58] | – Now come to bed. – No! | -上床睡觉去 -不 |
[19:00] | It’s a bed of lies! | 床上也是谎言 |
[19:01] | I love Edward Boyton and he loves me. | 爱德华·波伊顿和我深深相爱 |
[19:05] | What the hell is happening? | 到底这是发生什么事了 |
[19:07] | I don’t know but I have a feeling | 我也不好说 但是我知道 |
[19:09] | your dad’s going to magic mountain tomorrow. | 明天你爸会去魔山乐园 |
[19:25] | Hey. | 嘿 |
[19:26] | You get your mom on the plane okay? | 你妈妈顺利上飞机了吗 |
[19:28] | Yeah. | 是的 |
[19:29] | How’s she doing? | 她怎么样了 |
[19:30] | Pretty shook up. | 彻底被雷到了 |
[19:32] | It’s not every day your husband tells you | 毕竟丈夫告诉自己 |
[19:34] | he’s leaving you for a 65-year-old man. | 为一个65岁老头而离开不是天天有的事 |
[19:37] | What bothers her more? | 那更让她不爽的会是什么 |
[19:40] | That her marriage is over or that her ex-husband | 婚姻完蛋了 还是她前任老公 |
[19:42] | is now promoting the homosexual agenda. | 现在在推销同志挂历 |
[19:45] | I’m not in the mood Charlie. | 我没心情开玩笑 查理 |
[19:48] | You took my dad to the hotel? | 你送我爸去了宾馆吗 |
[19:49] | Yeah. Yeah. | 是的 |
[19:51] | I met this Edward Boyton he’s been talking about. | 我见到了他挂在嘴边的爱德华·波伊顿 |
[19:53] | Nice guy. | 好人一个 |
[19:54] | Oh yeah? | 真的吗 |
[19:56] | Black guy. | 而且是黑人老兄 |
[20:01] | Really? | 是嘛 |
[20:02] | Can I be the one to tell your mom? | 我有这个荣幸转告岳母大人吗 |
[20:06] | I’m going to go lay down. | 我要去躺会儿 |
[20:10] | Hey Chels? | 切尔西 |
[20:11] | What? | 又想怎样 |
[20:12] | Given everything that’s gone down with your dad | 既然你老爸骗你老妈骗了几十年 |
[20:15] | I’m off the hook on the whole lying to you | 我骗你的事可以不计较了吧 |
[20:17] | about the colonoscopy thing right? | 说我要去做结肠检查的事 |
[20:19] | Right. | 没错 |
[20:24] | Isn’t it nice when things work out? | 看来当初的计划最终还是顺利了嘛 |