时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:21] | What the hell is that? | 什么在鬼叫啊 |
[00:22] | Oh, sorry. | 不好意思 |
[00:24] | I set my alarm so I could go home before Jake wakes up. | 我设定了闹钟可以在杰克起床前回去 |
[00:27] | Turn it off! | 那你关上不就得了 |
[00:29] | I’m trying, but my arm’s asleep. | 我这不是关呢嘛 可手使不上劲 |
[00:38] | I can’t believe you have a watch alarm. | 真不敢相信你的手表上有闹钟 |
[00:40] | Yeah, it’s a Timex. | 是天美时的 |
[00:41] | Well, a really nice knockoff. | 不过是高仿的山寨表 |
[00:43] | Even has indiglo. See? | 你瞧还有夜视功能呢 |
[00:45] | Oh! Oh, for God’s sake, it’s 6:00 a.m. | 拜托你了 才早上6点 |
[00:49] | Oh, I know, sorry. | 不好意思 |
[00:50] | We agreed we don’t want our kids to know about us. | 我们说好了不让孩子知道我们的事 |
[00:52] | Yeah, yeah, good-bye. | 晓得了 再见 |
[00:54] | Bye. | 再见 |
[01:00] | Guess a little morning quickie is out of the question. | 看来今天早上我们是不会来一次快炮了 |
[01:02] | If you can do it without waking me up. | 只要别弄醒我就请自便 |
[01:08] | You’re not really thinking about it, are you? | 你不是真琢磨呢吧 |
[01:26] | Dear Lord. | 神啊 |
[01:28] | Charlie? | 查理 |
[01:29] | Huh? | 咋啦 |
[01:31] | You okay? | 你还好吧 |
[01:32] | Sure. | 好的不得了 |
[01:36] | Why do you ask? | 为什么这么问 |
[01:38] | ‘Cause… you’re passed out on the stairs. | 因为你晕倒在楼梯上 |
[01:40] | Really? | 真的 |
[01:48] | Oh, that’s not good. | 这可不是什么好现象 |
[01:50] | How much did you have to drink last night? | 你昨晚喝了多少酒啊 |
[01:53] | Let’s see… | 我想想哈 |
[02:10] | I don’t know. | 不记得了 |
[02:14] | I wonder how I got my pants off over my shoes. | 奇怪 我怎么有本事不脱鞋就把裤子脱了 |
[02:18] | Maybe you took your shoes off, and then put them back on. | 也许你先脱掉鞋子再穿上呗 |
[02:22] | Think it through, Alan. | 艾伦你脑子进水了吧 |
[02:23] | For what possible activity | 你觉得可能吗 |
[02:25] | would I need my pants off and my shoes on? | 为啥我脱了裤子还穿着鞋 |
[02:28] | I don’t know. | 我哪知道 |
[02:29] | Chasing a reluctant hooker? | 也许你追着一个不情不愿的妓女 |
[02:34] | Can’t rule it out. | 也是有可能的哦 |
[02:37] | So… where have you been? | 你是去哪里了 |
[02:39] | I was with Lyndsey. | 我和林赛在一起 |
[02:40] | Who’s Lyndsey? | 林赛是谁 |
[02:42] | Eldridge’s mom. | 爱尔德里奇的妈妈 |
[02:44] | Who’s Eldridge? | 爱尔德里奇是谁 |
[02:45] | Jake’s friend? | 杰克的朋友 |
[02:48] | Jake is my son. | 杰克是我儿子 |
[02:49] | I know who Jake is. | 我知道杰克是谁 |
[02:53] | What I don’t know is where my pants are. | 我就是奇怪我裤子哪去了 |
[02:57] | Excuse me. | 等我下 |
[03:19] | Guess who had a Cobb salad for dinner. | 猜猜谁昨天吃科布色拉了(各种成分按次序摆放的分层色拉) |
[03:22] | Charming. I’m, uh, I’m going to go lay down. | 不错 我要去躺一下了 |
[03:25] | You know, Jake may not be the brightest monkey in the meadow, | 杰克虽然脑袋不是很灵光 |
[03:28] | but even he’s going to eventually figure out | 但是他早晚会发现 |
[03:31] | that you’re banging his buddy’s mom. | 你上了他朋友的老妈 |
[03:32] | Don’t worry. I’ll tell him when the time is right. | 别担心了 我会找个时机告诉他的 |
[03:34] | And when is that? | 什么时机呢 |
[03:35] | When I’m sure that Lyndsey and I | 等我和林赛最终确定了 |
[03:37] | have built a solid relationship that will last. | 我们想要一段稳定的感情 |
[03:39] | In the meantime, | 可是现在 |
[03:40] | I don’t want to complicate his friendship with Eldridge. | 我不想他和艾尔德里奇的友情过于复杂 |
[03:42] | Lyndsey’s son, right? | 林赛的儿子对吧 |
[03:44] | Right. | 记性真好 |
[03:48] | Yeah. Yeah, very good. | 真聪聪 |
[03:49] | The point is, I haven’t said anything to Jake because | 总之 我之所以不告诉杰克 |
[03:52] | in a lot of ways, he’s still a little boy. | 是因为他总归还是个孩子 |
[03:54] | He’s not very sophisticated when it comes to adult sexual… | 他还不是那么理解 |
[03:59] | …relationships. | 成人的两性关系 |
[04:07] | Yours? | 你的妞吗 |
[04:12] | Alan, she’s like, 16. | 艾伦 这妞貌似才16 |
[04:15] | And… again I ask– | 那我再问你一次 |
[04:17] | hoping I won’t be called to testify… | 希望不用出庭作证 |
[04:22] | Yours? | 你的妞吗 |
[04:23] | No, she’s coming from Jake’s room. | 她从杰克的房间里出来的 |
[04:25] | Why would a girl be leaving Jake’s room | 为什么这小妞早上7点 |
[04:27] | at 7:00 in the morning? | 从杰克房间里出来 |
[04:28] | Why do you think? | 你傻啊你 |
[04:29] | Oh, come on! He’s 16! | 天啊 他才16岁 |
[04:32] | Not everybody waits till they’re a junior in college, Alan! | 不是每个人大三的时候才破处的 |
[04:34] | A sophomore, and I still wasn’t emotionally ready. | 我是大二破处的 可我觉得还是早了 |
[04:38] | Well, obviously your kid’s a little more advanced. | 你儿子比你早了不是一点半点 |
[04:41] | No. No, this is unacceptable. | 这简直让人无法接受 |
[04:43] | He and I are going to have to have a little talk. | 我要和他好好的谈谈 |
[04:52] | Maybe he can give you some tips. | 也许他能教你几招 |
[05:03] | Unbelievable. | 难以置信啊 |
[05:05] | My little boy spent the night with two girls. | 我儿子竟然和两个女孩过夜 |
[05:07] | Two so far. | 眼下看来是两个 |
[05:11] | What? | 啥意思 |
[05:12] | We don’t have a final Two so far. | 我们还没最终算个清楚啊 |
[05:13] | There might be more clowns in that car. | 鬼晓得到底有多少小妹妹 |
[05:16] | You think? | 你这样想吗 |
[05:18] | At this point, anything’s possible. | 照这个样子看来 一切皆有可能 |
[05:20] | There’s only one way to find out. | 只有一个法子能知道结果了 |
[05:22] | Hang on, hang on. | 等会 |
[05:23] | Come here. | 过来 |
[05:25] | Let’s think this through. | 我们想明白再说 |
[05:27] | What is there to think through? | 我们把什么想明白 |
[05:28] | The possibility of my son hosting an orgy? | 难不成我儿子开了一个性爱派对 |
[05:31] | Now, not to be a stickler, | 我不是咬文嚼字啊 |
[05:33] | but technically an orgy requires a minimum of six participants. | 性爱派对至少要6个人 |
[05:37] | What? | 什么乱七八糟的 |
[05:38] | It goes… masturbation, one-on-one, threesome, | 内容包括手淫 一对一 3p |
[05:41] | two couples swinging, | 双人秋千 |
[05:43] | two couples swinging with a looky-loo, orgy’s six. | 双人秋千的外加一个过眼瘾的 总共6个人 |
[05:46] | It frightens me that you know that. | 你从哪里知道这些鬼东西的 |
[05:48] | Everybody knows that. | 是个人就知道的 |
[05:50] | Well, whatever you call it, it needs to be nipped in the bud. | 甭管怎么说 反正要立马给我打住 |
[05:53] | Now we’re talking three girls and a guy named Bud. | 你想要知道三个女孩和一个叫巴德的男人的故事 |
[06:00] | What are you gonna do? Punish him? | 你要怎么做 惩罚他吗 |
[06:01] | Well, what do you want me to do? Give him a merit badge? | 那不成老子要给他颁发年度泡妞奖吗 |
[06:04] | Well, it is quite an accomplishment. | 这也算是不小的成就了 |
[06:05] | This is not funny, Charlie! | 查理 你的笑话一点不好笑 |
[06:07] | Hey, I’m not laughing. | 我没笑啊 |
[06:08] | The kid’s doing better than I am. | 这孩子比我都强 |
[06:10] | I woke up on the stairs alone. | 我是自个在楼梯上醒来的 |
[06:12] | Oh, you’re up. | 起来啦 |
[06:14] | These were in the mailbox. | 你的裤子在信箱上挂着 |
[06:19] | What the hell were they doing in the mailbox? | 我裤子怎么跑那去了 |
[06:20] | I don’t know, but there’s postage on ’em. | 不清楚啊 有邮票贴在上面 |
[06:29] | Well, I clearly had a plan of some kind. | 看来我还是有个什么计划的 |
[06:32] | What’s everybody doing up so early? | 怎么今天都起这么早 |
[06:34] | We just saw two girls sneaking out of Jake’s room. | 我们刚瞅见两个小妹妹从杰克房间出来 |
[06:36] | Two? | 两个 |
[06:37] | Two. | 没错 |
[06:39] | Taterhead had a threesome? | 那傻孩子竟然3P了 |
[06:43] | We don’t know that. | 我们还不清楚 |
[06:45] | Maybe they were having an all-night study session. | 也许他们昨天开夜车学习来着 |
[06:49] | My God, he had a threesome. | 算了我别编了 他3P了 |
[06:52] | Morning. | 早上好 |
[07:07] | Hungry? | 饿了吧 |
[07:09] | Yep. | 是滴 |
[07:10] | Thirsty? | 渴了吗 |
[07:11] | Mm-hmm. | 是滴 |
[07:12] | Proud? | 骄傲不 |
[07:13] | What? | 什么 |
[07:15] | Ignore him. | 无视他 |
[07:16] | So, what’d you wind up doing last night? | 你昨晚忙什么呢 |
[07:18] | Nothin’. | 没什么 |
[07:19] | Nothing, you say. | 没做什么 |
[07:21] | So, just an evening alone in your room. | 所以 只是一个自己待在房里的夜晚 |
[07:23] | Pretty much. | 差不多 |
[07:24] | Quiet? Uneventful? | 安静 平静无事 |
[07:27] | Boring? | 无聊 |
[07:29] | I guess. | 大概吧 |
[07:30] | Nothing I have to clean up? | 没有我需要清洁掉的东西吧 |
[07:33] | Nope. Wait… I did have a sandwich in bed. | 没有 等等 我在床上吃了三明治[我双飞了] |
[07:36] | I knew it! | 我就知道 |
[07:40] | What are you talking about? | 你是什么意思 |
[07:42] | We saw the girls, Jake. | 我们看见那些女孩了 杰克 |
[07:45] | Well, this is awkward. | 这下尴尬了 |
[07:48] | Two hotties, sneaking out of your room. Up top, little stud! | 两个辣妹偷溜出你房间 击个掌 小帅哥 |
[07:51] | Charlie! | 查理 |
[07:52] | This does not call for a high-five. | 这事并不值得击掌 |
[07:54] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
[07:55] | It’s hugging time. Come here, you dog. | 是该拥抱的时刻 过来抱个 你个小流氓 |
[07:57] | Stop it! Stop it! Stop it. | 停下 停下 停下 |
[08:00] | I want to know what those girls were doing in your room. | 我想知道那些女孩在你房里干嘛 |
[08:02] | He told you: They were making a sandwich. | 他告诉你了 他们在做三明治[双飞] |
[08:04] | Would you please?! | 可以拜托你停下吗 |
[08:06] | I am waiting for an answer. | 我在等你的答案 |
[08:09] | Their names were Tiffany and Joanne, | 她们的名字是蒂凡尼和乔安 |
[08:11] | and they’re from my school and they’re into surfing. | 我们读同间学校 然后她们对冲浪有兴趣 |
[08:13] | Terrific. So what were they doing in your room!? | 很好 所以她们到底在你房里干嘛 |
[08:16] | Hey, chill! I’m gettin’ to it. | 冷静好吗 我正要说呢 |
[08:18] | Yeah, chill! | 对啊 冷静嘛 |
[08:19] | He’s gettin’ to it. | 他正要说到重点呢 |
[08:22] | They were going to sleep in their car | 她们本来要睡她们车里 |
[08:23] | so they could hit the waves as soon as the sun came up, | 方便在太阳升起后 立刻去冲浪 |
[08:26] | and I said they could crash here. | 所以我跟她们说 她们可以睡这里 |
[08:27] | So… nothing happened? | 所以 任何事都没发生吗 |
[08:29] | No, we’re just friends. I slept on the floor. | 我们只是朋友 我睡地上了 |
[08:33] | This is not “Aww.” | 这不是 噢 |
[08:35] | This is “Yay!” | 这是 好 |
[08:39] | So when I asked you about last night, why did you lie? | 那为什么我问你昨晚的事情 你要撒谎 |
[08:42] | It’s usually the simpler path. | 通常这样比较简单 |
[08:44] | And, and why didn’t you ask permission | 为什么你不问我们允不允许 |
[08:46] | before asking your friends over? | 就直接带你朋友回家了 |
[08:48] | You weren’t around. | 当时你不在 |
[08:49] | Where were you, by the way? | 顺带一提 当时你去哪了 |
[08:54] | I went to the gym. | 我去了健身房 |
[08:57] | A little, little cardio, uh, | 一点心肺运动 |
[08:58] | spinning class, light weights, uh, | 踩踩车 减减重 |
[09:01] | you know, I’m just into maintenance, not bulking up. | 就是保持保持身材 不是要练肌肉 |
[09:03] | Don’t find that attractive. | 不觉得那个很吸引人 |
[09:05] | I prefer the lean, mean swimmer’s body. | 我偏好精瘦 出色的游泳健将身材 |
[09:06] | You know, like… | 像是 |
[09:08] | Jesus. | 耶稣 |
[09:10] | Nice, Alan. Drag our Lord into it. | 艾伦 干得好 把老天爷都牵扯进来了 |
[09:13] | Anyway, you still could’ve called me. | 言归正传 你还是应该打给我的 |
[09:15] | Or-Or asked your uncle. | 或者问问你的伯伯 |
[09:16] | You didn’t answer your phone, | 你没接你的电话 |
[09:18] | and uncle Charlie was busy trying to mail his pants. | 而查理叔叔当时正忙着寄出他的裤子 |
[09:20] | Oh good, good, you saw that. | 太好了 你当时看到了 |
[09:22] | Did I happen to mention why I was doing it? | 我当时有提到为什么我这么做吗 |
[09:24] | Nope. | 没 |
[09:25] | And you didn’t ask? | 你也不问吗 |
[09:26] | Over the years I’ve learned to look the other way. | 这些年来 我学会了把头扭向另一边 |
[09:29] | All right, all right, let’s… let’s not get off-track here. | 好吧 好吧 我们别跑题了 |
[09:30] | The important thing is that if you’re gonna have company, | 重点是 假如你想带人回家 |
[09:33] | you give one of us a heads-up. | 你跟我们其中一人说一声 |
[09:34] | Fine. | 好吧 |
[09:35] | Oh, hey, look. | 看 |
[09:37] | There’s a note in my pocket. | 我的口袋里有个纸条 |
[09:43] | “Dear inspected by number 94… | 亲爱的品管员九十四号 |
[09:45] | It is with a heavy heart that I write to you. | 我是带着一颗沉重的心来写这封信 |
[09:49] | The zipper you signed off on has snagged my ball sack. | 你们的拉链夹到了我的蛋蛋皮 |
[09:57] | Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.” | 感谢您花时间注意这件事 |
[10:01] | Sincerely yours, Charles Francis Harper.” | 查尔斯·佛朗西斯·哈勃 敬上 |
[10:06] | Well, that explains the blood in my shorts. | 这解释了我短裤上的血 |
[10:10] | I hope. | 希望如此 |
[10:17] | I’ve got a little surprise for you! | 我有个惊喜要给你 |
[10:20] | Well, I’ve got a– | 我有个 |
[10:22] | what I’m told is a perfectly adequate surprise for you. | 别人说是还不赖的惊喜给你 |
[10:27] | You like? | 你喜欢吗 |
[10:29] | Oh, yes. | 当然 |
[10:32] | Your surprise has greatly enhanced my surprise. | 你的惊喜大大的加强了我要给你的惊喜 |
[10:36] | Oh, is that whipped cream, | 那是生奶油吗 |
[10:38] | or are you planning to shave me? | 还是说 你想把我毛剃光 |
[10:41] | I mean, y’know, I’m fine either way. | 我随便哪一样都好 |
[10:43] | It’s whipped cream, Alan. | 是生奶油 艾伦 |
[10:45] | Fat-free? | 零脂肪吗 |
[10:47] | ‘Cause I’m trying to cut down. | 因为我正在尝试减重 |
[10:49] | Relax. You’re not going to be the one licking it up. | 放轻松 你不会是舔奶油的那个人 |
[10:58] | Well, bon appetit. | 祝你好胃口 |
[11:02] | Ma! | 妈 |
[11:03] | Damn. | 操 |
[11:04] | Eldridge! Why aren’t you in school? | 艾尔德里奇 你为什么不在学校 |
[11:06] | It’s a half day! Teachers’ conference. | 今天是半天课 老师们有会议 |
[11:09] | How come I didn’t know about that? | 为什么我不知道有这么一回事 |
[11:10] | I don’t know. | 我怎么知道 |
[11:11] | Jake’s gonna stay for dinner, okay? | 杰克会留下来吃晚餐 可以吗 |
[11:13] | Uh… did he ask his dad? | 他问过他父亲吗 |
[11:16] | Mrs. MacElroy, he said it’s fine. | 麦克洛伊太太 他说没关系 |
[11:19] | No, he didn’t, he’s totally lying! | 他才没说好 他在撒谎 |
[11:22] | He’s been lying a lot lately. | 他最近谎话连篇 |
[11:24] | Boy, you try to bring a kid up with some values. | 我们都试着把小孩养育的有价值观 |
[11:27] | Hand me a tissue, will you? | 可以给我张卫生纸吗 |
[11:29] | The whipped cream’s dripping into my crack. | 生奶油正在滴进我屁股沟 |
[11:31] | Want some pie? | 想要些派吗 |
[11:34] | Sure. Got any whipped cream? | 好啊 有生奶油吗 |
[11:36] | Usually we do. | 通常都有 |
[11:39] | I don’t see it. | 没看到啊 |
[11:40] | Man, we go through a lot of whipped cream in this house. | 我们家生奶油用的好多 |
[11:55] | Was that my dad? | 那是我爸吗 |
[12:22] | Did you know Rottweilers are attracted | 你知道罗威那犬 |
[12:24] | to the scent of whipped cream? | 会被生奶油的香味所吸引吗 |
[12:26] | Matter of fact, I did know that. | 事实上 我知道 |
[12:30] | I just learned it. | 我刚学到 |
[12:33] | Jake almost caught me | 杰克差点发现我 |
[12:35] | sneaking out of Lyndsey’s house. | 偷溜出林赛家 |
[12:36] | Really? | 真的吗 |
[12:37] | Close call. | 就差一点点 |
[12:38] | One question. | 问个问题 |
[12:41] | Whose idea was it to | 谁的主意要让只大狗加入 |
[12:42] | spice things up with a large dog? | 来玩的刺激一点的 |
[12:44] | The dog was not with us in bed. | 那条狗没跟我们一起上床 |
[12:47] | The dog was being walked | 那狗是被一个 |
[12:48] | by a nine-year-old girl | 完全没有能力牵狗 |
[12:50] | who was not quite capable of holding onto the leash | 的9岁小女孩牵着的 |
[12:52] | when he got a whiff of | 结果闻到了我那 |
[12:54] | my non-fat, dairy-scented crotch. | 脱脂奶油味的裤裆 |
[12:57] | Okay. Okay. | 好好 |
[13:00] | I’m not judging, | 我不是在指责你什么 |
[13:02] | but why was a nine-year- old girl walking her dog | 可9岁小女孩干吗要在 |
[13:05] | through Lyndsey’s bedroom? | 林赛的卧室里溜狗呢 |
[13:06] | No. The girl was on the street | 不是 那小姑娘是在大街上 |
[13:08] | with the dog. | 溜的狗 |
[13:10] | All right, another question. | 好吧 还有个问题 |
[13:12] | I was on the street | 我当时在街上 |
[13:13] | ’cause I was sneaking out of Lyndsey’s house. | 因为我从林赛的家里溜出来 |
[13:16] | You know, for such a boring guy, | 要知道 就你这个无聊的家伙而言 |
[13:18] | you lead a very complicated life. | 还真算过着丰富多彩的生活 |
[13:22] | Yeah, it’s a paradox, isn’t it? | 这是个悖论啊 不是吗 |
[13:28] | Iced tea? | 冰茶? |
[13:30] | I decided when you try to mail your pants | 我决定当我想把裤子寄给 |
[13:32] | to a garment inspector in Malaysia, | 马来西亚的服装检查员时 |
[13:33] | it’s time to quit drinking. | 也是到戒酒的时候了 |
[13:41] | Some might say that day came and went | 有的人会说你给你自己剪头发的时候 |
[13:43] | when you gave yourself that haircut. | 也是个戒酒的好时机 |
[13:48] | But good for you. | 不过还是祝福你 |
[13:50] | Yep. | 没错 |
[13:51] | Long overdue. | 也算为时不晚 |
[13:54] | You want a beer? | 你喝啤酒吗 |
[13:55] | You just said you were quitting. | 你不是刚说你要戒酒吗 |
[13:58] | I did. And I am. | 是啊 |
[13:59] | My drinking days are over. | 我酗酒的日子过去了 |
[14:02] | See? Beer. | 瞧见没 啤酒 |
[14:08] | Hello? | 有人吗 |
[14:09] | Uh… uh… in here! | 呃呃 在这儿呢 |
[14:11] | Ixnay on the ottweiler-Ray! | (胡言乱语中) |
[14:13] | What? | 啥 |
[14:14] | The oggy-day who tried to ite-bay my alls-bay. | (胡言乱语中) |
[14:16] | Hey, buddy! | 嘿 老兄 |
[14:17] | I’m not your buddy. | 我不是你老兄 |
[14:19] | What? | 怎么 |
[14:20] | I just came to get my stuff. | 我是来收拾东西的 |
[14:21] | I’m staying with Mom and Herb from now on. | 从现在起我要跟妈妈和赫伯在一起 |
[14:23] | Why? | 为什么 |
[14:24] | I saw you sneaking out | 我看见你从艾尔德里奇的家里 |
[14:25] | of Eldridge’s house. | 偷偷溜出来了 |
[14:26] | Oh, Alan, no! | 哦 艾伦 不是吧 |
[14:30] | Are you crazy, having sex with my best friend’s mom? | 你疯了吗 跟我铁哥们的老妈上床 |
[14:33] | Shame on you! | 你真令人作呕 |
[14:36] | I had no idea, Jake. | 我是完全不知情的 杰克 |
[14:38] | I, I, I, I was gonna tell you, | 我我我 本来要告诉你的 |
[14:40] | you know, eventually. | 要知道 未来某天 |
[14:41] | You’re such a liar. | 你真是个谎话精 |
[14:43] | Oh, oh, oh, I’m a liar? | 哦哦 我是谎话精? |
[14:44] | What were you doing at Eldridge’s in the first place? | 那你又怎么会在艾尔德里奇的家里呢 |
[14:47] | You certainly didn’t ask permission from me! | 显然你没经过我的同意 |
[14:51] | Attaboy. | 干得漂亮 |
[14:53] | Trying to take the high road | 装着一裤裆的生奶油和狗唾沫 |
[14:55] | with a crotch full of whipped cream and dog spittle. | 试图占据道德制高点 |
[15:04] | You know, I feel a lot better since I’ve stopped drinking. | 知道不 自打我戒酒开始自我感觉好多了 |
[15:10] | Yeah, we’re all proud of you. | 是啊 我们以你为豪 |
[15:12] | I have more energy, | 精力更加充沛 |
[15:14] | I’m certainly more clear-headed. | 头脑更加清晰 |
[15:15] | In fact, the only downside is | 事实上 唯一的缺点就是 |
[15:17] | I might have to put a chip clip on my johnson | 我可能得用封口夹夹住我的JJ |
[15:18] | to keep from peeing my pants. | 才能不尿裤子上 |
[15:22] | I really screwed up, Charlie. | 我这次真搞砸了 查理 |
[15:23] | I should’ve been honest with Jake from the beginning. | 我本该打一开始就对杰克坦白 |
[15:26] | Just told him I was seeing his friend’s mother. | 就告诉他我在跟他朋友的妈约会 |
[15:27] | Or, you could’ve not slept with his friend’s mother | 或者 你也可以一开始就 |
[15:30] | in the first place. | 不跟他朋友的妈上床 |
[15:31] | Really? | 真的? |
[15:33] | You’re going to preach sexual restraint to me? | 你要给我讲什么克制性欲? |
[15:35] | Let me explain something to you, Alan. | 我来给你解释一下 艾伦 |
[15:38] | Jake expects me to betray his trust. | 杰克知道我会让他失望 |
[15:40] | You, on the other hand, are held to a higher standard. | 可对你 却有着更加高的标准 |
[15:43] | Is that so? It is! | -真的吗 -当然 |
[15:44] | You’re like some kind of right-wing, | 你就像什么右翼 |
[15:47] | pro-family values senator, | 家庭价值观至上的参议员 |
[15:48] | caught on his knees in an airport toilet | 结果在机场厕所里跟男妓 |
[15:50] | with a male hooker. | 被抓了个现行 |
[15:52] | Whereas I am a well-known rascal. | 而我则是烂泥糊不上墙 |
[15:56] | When I don’t do the wrong thing, | 我要是不做错些什么事 |
[15:57] | people are disappointed. | 大家才会失望 |
[15:59] | Is that supposed to make me feel better? | 你这话该让我心里好受些吗 |
[16:01] | No, the story was about me. | 不啊 我说的是我的事 |
[16:03] | God, you’re such a narcissist. | 天哪 你真是太自恋了 |
[16:05] | You know what, I can’t just sit here and do nothing. | 你猜怎么 我不能干坐在这里 |
[16:09] | I owe Jake an apology. | 我该向杰克道歉 |
[16:11] | You’re going to Judith’s? I’ll come with you. | 你要去朱蒂丝家? 我跟你去 |
[16:13] | Why? Why? | -为什么 -为什么 |
[16:15] | You’re my brother, I want to support you. | 你是我弟弟 我想做你坚强的后盾 |
[16:17] | Really? Nah, I’m just outta beer. | -真的? -才怪 我啤酒喝光了 |
[16:21] | But I do love that you still fall for that. | 不过你还信这套我还挺佩服的 |
[16:27] | Well, I hope you’re proud of yourself. | 我想你肯定很自豪吧 |
[16:29] | I am. I haven’t had a drink all day. | 没错 我一天都没喝酒了 |
[16:31] | She was talking to me, Charlie, | 她是在说我呢 查理 |
[16:33] | and no, I’m not. | 不 我不自豪 |
[16:34] | Okay, Millie’s finally asleep. | 好了 米莉终于睡着了 |
[16:35] | Ooh, is that real beer? | 这是真啤酒吗 |
[16:39] | Knock yourself out. | 请自便 |
[16:40] | Oh, thanks! I’m gonna regret this in the morning. | 谢了 我早上起来会后悔的 |
[16:44] | My God, Alan, I can’t believe you’re sleeping with Lyndsey MacElroy. | 艾伦 我真不敢相信你居然跟林赛·麦克洛伊上床 |
[16:48] | You’re sleeping with Lyndsey MacElroy? | 你跟林赛·麦克洛伊上床了? |
[16:51] | My man! | 有一套 |
[16:53] | How could you do that? | 你怎么能这么干呢 |
[16:55] | Yeah, how? | 是啊 你是怎么干的 |
[16:56] | Don’t leave anything out. | 一五一十招来 |
[16:58] | Well, it just happened. | 就这么发生了 |
[17:00] | Her son and Jake are friends, which is how we met, | 她儿子和杰克是朋友 我们就这么认识了 |
[17:02] | and we, you know, hit it off. | 然后我们 就这么对上眼了 |
[17:04] | You don’t sleep with your son’s friend’s mother. | 你可不该跟你儿子朋友的妈上床啊 |
[17:07] | No, no. | 不不 |
[17:08] | You marry his pediatrician. | 你嫁给了他的儿科大夫 |
[17:14] | He’s got you there, sweetie. | 他把你说得哑口无言啊 亲爱的 |
[17:17] | You know, there’s a rumor going around | 知道吗 坊间有传言说 |
[17:20] | that Lyndsey was in a soft-core porn movie | 林赛在她结婚之前拍过 |
[17:22] | before she got married. | 咸湿三级片 |
[17:23] | Really? Which one? | 真的? 哪部 |
[17:24] | I don’t know, but I’ve been checking Cinemax | 我不清楚 不过我每晚都看 |
[17:26] | every night for months. | 电影有线台好几个月了 |
[17:27] | Oh, I love their stuff. | 哦 我爱死他们的节目了 |
[17:29] | It’s classy, right? | 真是经典 对吧 |
[17:30] | A little story, nice lighting, | 一点小情节 精致的灯光 |
[17:32] | and you never have to see the guy’s junk. | 而且你还不会看到男优的JJ |
[17:36] | What is wrong with you? | 你啥毛病啊 |
[17:37] | You don’t like seeing that stuff, either. | 你也不会想看那玩意儿的 |
[17:42] | I think that’s enough beer, sweetheart. | 我觉得你啤酒喝得够多了 亲爱的 |
[17:43] | I’ll get Jake. | 我去叫杰克 |
[17:45] | There you go, pal. | 给 老兄 |
[17:47] | Thanks, but you heard her. I’ve had enough. | 谢了 不过你听见她的话了 我喝够了 |
[17:51] | Boy, oh, boy, Lyndsey MacElroy. | 乖乖 林赛·麦克洛伊 |
[17:54] | You are one lucky ducky. | 你还真是个幸运儿 |
[17:55] | Yeah, she’s very beautiful. | 是啊 她的确很漂亮 |
[17:58] | You know, sometimes I drive past her house | 知道吗 有时我开车经过她家 |
[18:00] | and she’s out watering her lawn in her shorty shorts | 看见她穿着热裤和小背心 |
[18:02] | and her halter top. | 给她草坪浇水 |
[18:04] | Cowabunga! | 乖乖隆地咚 |
[18:07] | No one wants to talk to him, | 没人想跟他说话 |
[18:08] | but he’s your father. | 可他是你爸爸 |
[18:10] | Oh, hey, buddy. | 嘿 伙计 |
[18:12] | What do you want? | 你想干嘛 |
[18:13] | What I want is to apologize | 我想就我没告诉你 |
[18:15] | for not telling you about me and Eldridge’s mom. | 我跟艾尔德里奇的妈之间的事向你道歉 |
[18:17] | You know, this is between you guys. | 这是你们俩之间的事 |
[18:19] | I’m just gonna go take a hot shower. | 我还是自己去洗个热水澡吧 |
[18:23] | Eldridge doesn’t want to be friends with me anymore. | 艾尔德里奇不想在跟我做朋友了 |
[18:26] | Oh, I am so sorry. But, but this can’t be the first time | 我真的很抱歉 可这种事情 |
[18:28] | something like this has happened. | 又不是第一次发生 |
[18:30] | I mean, how many times has your Uncle Charlie | 我是说 你的查理伯伯都不知跟多少 |
[18:31] | slept with somebody you knew? | 你认识的人睡过了 |
[18:32] | Yeah, but I expect that from him. | 是啊 可他我早就习惯了 |
[18:35] | See, Alan? I’m Teflon. | 听见没 艾伦 我就是特氟龙 |
[18:39] | You’re a perv, is what you are. | 你是天生就是个变态 |
[18:44] | And it’s not just that you were sleeping with her, | 而且这也不是你跟她上床的事 |
[18:45] | it’s that you lied to me about it. | 是你骗了我 |
[18:47] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
[18:48] | I should’ve told you the truth. | 我是该告诉你实话 |
[18:50] | And, and Lyndsey should’ve told Eldridge. | 林赛也该告诉艾尔德里奇 |
[18:51] | But when it happened, we didn’t know if it would even last. | 可当时我们也不知道这会长久 |
[18:54] | I just don’t like you keeping things from me. | 我就是不喜欢你对我瞒着藏着 |
[18:56] | That’s fair, and, and, and I’ll make you a deal. | 很有道理 我跟你做个交易 |
[18:58] | From now on, I will be open and honest with you | 从现在开始 我会向你开诚布公 |
[19:00] | and you’ll do the same with me. | 而你也要这样对我 |
[19:02] | Deal? I guess. | -怎么样 -好吧 |
[19:04] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
[19:05] | I have to go finish my homework. | 我得去做作业了 |
[19:07] | Okay. So, uh… I’ll see you this weekend? | 好的 那么 咱们这个周末再见? |
[19:09] | Sure. | 行 |
[19:10] | Great. Love you, buddy. | 太好了 爱你哦 老兄 |
[19:12] | Don’t push it, Dad. | 别逼人太甚了 老爸 |
[19:15] | You’re lucky he’s so forgiving. | 你真走运他向来宽宏大量 |
[19:17] | Takes after his mom, huh? | 这点随他妈 对吧 |
[19:20] | Um, you know, we should go. | 咱们得走了 |
[19:23] | I gotta pee. You mind, Judith? | 我想尿尿 你介意吗 朱蒂丝 |
[19:25] | Just try to hit the bowl this time. | 只要你能尿在马桶里面 |
[19:26] | Don’t worry, I only miss when I’ve been drinking. | 别担心 我只有喝酒了才会瞄不准 |
[19:30] | I’ll wait in the car. | 我在车上等你 |
[19:33] | Hey, Judith? | 嘿 朱蒂丝 |
[19:36] | Is there surfing around here? | 这儿附近能冲浪吗 |
[19:37] | What are you talking about? | 你说什么呢 |
[19:39] | We’re 20 miles from the beach. | 这儿离海滩有20英里呢 |
[19:40] | That’s what I thought. | 我也这么认为 |
[19:41] | I am so proud of that kid. | 我真为这小子自豪 |
[19:48] | Isn’t this nice? | 这多好啊 |
[19:50] | The four of us sitting down, having dinner. | 咱们四个一起坐下吃饭 |
[19:52] | Open. Honest. | 开诚布公 |
[19:54] | No secrets. | 没有秘密 |
[19:56] | Yeah. Thrilling. | 是啊 真开心 |
[19:59] | So, Jake, your dad tells me | 杰克 你爸告诉我 |
[20:00] | you’re getting into the surfing scene? | 你喜欢上冲浪了 |
[20:02] | What do you mean? | 怎么讲? |
[20:03] | You know, uh, Tiffany and Joanne. | 蒂凡尼和乔安 |
[20:04] | Oh, yeah. Right. | 是的 没错 |
[20:06] | Tiffany and Joanne surf? | 蒂凡尼和乔安会冲浪? |
[20:07] | Yes, Eldridge. They surf. | 是的 艾尔德里奇 她们冲浪的 |
[20:12] | Charlie? Would you like some pizza? | 查理 你要吃点匹萨吗 |
[20:13] | No, thanks. | 不 谢了 |
[20:15] | I’m kinda on a health kick. | 我最近在节食 |
[20:18] | Didn’t you tell me he quit drinking? | 你不是跟我说他戒酒了吗 |
[20:21] | He actually thinks he did. | 事实上他认为他是戒酒了 |
[20:27] | Hello? | 喂 |
[20:28] | Oh, hey, Herb! S’up? | 嘿 赫伯 怎么了 |
[20:31] | Really? | 真的? |
[20:32] | Right now? | 现在吗 |
[20:34] | Hang on. | 等等 |
[20:40] | Are you sure? | 你肯定吗 |
[20:41] | Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | 等一下 等一下 |
[20:43] | Lyndsey? | 林赛 |
[20:44] | Hmm? | 唔? |
[20:45] | Never mind. | 没事 |
[20:47] | You’re right, it’s her! | 没错 是她 |
[20:51] | Okay, Herb. Thanks. | 好的 赫伯 谢谢 |
[20:53] | Great. Have a nice shower. | 很好 洗个痛快澡 |
[21:01] | Boy, she sure does like the whipped cream. | 乖乖 看来她是真喜欢生奶油 |