| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Previously on Two and a Half Men | 好汉两个半前情回顾 |
| [00:02] | Alan? | 艾伦 |
| [00:03] | Lyndsey and I have decided to live together. | 琳赛和我决定同居 |
| [00:07] | End of an era, huh, Charlie? | 查理 一个时代结束了 |
| [00:09] | From now on, no brother, no nephew… | 从现在开始没有弟弟 没有侄子 |
| [00:12] | just the sounds of the ocean punctuated by the soft voices | 只有大海的声音伴随着妓女们柔声软语的谎言 |
| [00:15] | of prostitutes lying about the enormity of my sexual organ. | 赞扬着我的小弟弟有多强壮 |
| [00:19] | Alan, dinner’s on the table! | 艾伦晚饭好了 |
| [00:21] | Hey, I notice,this an old pipe on the mantle. | 我看到壁炉架上有这个老烟斗 |
| [00:23] | It’s a beauty. | 真不错 |
| [00:24] | Oh, it was my grandfather’s. | 是我祖父的 |
| [00:25] | Oh, wow, they don’t make ’em like this anymore. | 现在已经没有这种烟斗了 |
| [00:27] | So now that he’s gone, | 既然艾伦搬走了 |
| [00:28] | what are you gonna do with that empty room? | 那间空房间你打算做什么 |
| [00:30] | Uh… why do you ask? | 为啥问这个 |
| [00:32] | I was just thinking, it might be nice | 我是觉得 |
| [00:34] | to spend the occasional weekend here on the beach. | 偶尔到海边过个周末也不错 |
| [00:38] | Well, from now on, this house is your home. | 从现在开始这个房子就是你的家了 |
| [00:50] | Do you smell something burning? | 你闻到什么烧着了吗 |
| [01:02] | Whoo, what a day. | 这一天过的 |
| [01:06] | Who could’ve seen this one coming? | 谁能想到事情变成这个样子 |
| [01:14] | Oh, please– after seven years, you know, | 得了吧 7年后 |
| [01:17] | I finally move out of your house, | 我终于搬出你家 |
| [01:18] | and within two days, I burn my new home down. | 可是两天不到 我的新家就被我点了 |
| [01:21] | You can’t write this stuff. | 这事写成书都没人信 |
| [01:25] | I could if I used your skin for paper and your blood for ink. | 你的皮做纸 你的血做墨水 我可以写 |
| [01:30] | I just want you to know that as soon as we get | 我跟你保证只要我们拿到保险赔偿 |
| [01:33] | the insurance money and repair the fire damage, | 修好烧坏的地方 |
| [01:34] | Lyndsey and the boys and I will be out of your hair for good. | 琳赛和我还有孩子们马上就会离开 |
| [01:37] | Unless, of course, you burn her house down again. | 除非你再点了人家的房子 |
| [01:39] | Funny. | 你真给力 |
| [01:42] | See? That’s what we need at times like this– laughter. | 我现在确实需要笑一笑 |
| [01:49] | I’m gonna take that as laughter! | 我要把你的话当成笑话 |
| [01:52] | Trust me, Eldridge is a great kid, | 相信我 爱尔德里奇真是个好孩子 |
| [01:55] | and you’re gonna love Lyndsey. | 你也会喜欢琳赛的 |
| [01:57] | If you can open up your mind just a little, | 只要你愿意敞开心扉 |
| [01:59] | you will really enjoy having them here. | 就会享受他们在的时光的 |
| [02:01] | Damn it, Eldridge! Why the hell did you try | 爱尔德里奇你这个混小子 |
| [02:04] | to flush a washcloth down the toilet?! | 为啥要把毛巾冲进厕所 |
| [02:06] | I’m not enjoying it yet, Alan. | 我现在还享受不了 |
| [02:08] | Charlie, you got a mop? | 查理有拖把吗 |
| [02:10] | – Laundry room. – Thank you. | -洗衣房 -谢谢 |
| [02:12] | Need any help, sweetie? | 要帮忙吗亲爱的 |
| [02:13] | No, but if I need my house burned down again, | 省省吧 要是想再烧了房子 |
| [02:15] | I’ll let you know. | 我会通知你的 |
| [02:16] | See? She is keeping | 你瞧 |
| [02:19] | a sense of humor about it. | 她也那么幽默 |
| [02:21] | You’ve ruined my entire life, you know that? | 你知道吗 你毁了我整个的生活 |
| [02:23] | You’re right, I like her. | 说的没错 我确实喜欢她 |
| [02:26] | We’ve got a lot in common. | 我们有很多共同点 |
| [02:39] | What do you want me to tell you, Chris? | 克里斯你还想知道什么 |
| [02:41] | If you want to see your son, | 如果你要看你儿子 |
| [02:42] | you’re gonna have to come to Malibu. | 就要来马里布 |
| [02:43] | Oh, grow up! | 别那么幼稚好吧 |
| [02:44] | You think I planned to have the house burn down? | 你觉得我是故意点了房子吗 |
| [02:46] | It was an accident! | 那是意外 |
| [02:48] | It was, you know. | 确实是 |
| [02:51] | Drop dead! | 去死吧你 |
| [02:54] | Whoo, I’d say she’s a little miffed with your dad. | 看来她对你老爸有点恼火啊 |
| [02:57] | I’d say she wants to tear him a new one. | 她也开始恼火新换的这个了 |
| [02:59] | Hey! watch your language. | 乱讲什么 |
| [03:01] | What’d I say? | 我说什么了 |
| [03:02] | New one. | 新换的这个 |
| [03:04] | Mmm, honey, honey, | 亲爱的 亲爱的 |
| [03:06] | uh, just a little heads up, | 提醒你一下 |
| [03:08] | um, the boys could hear you out there. | 孩子们可以听见你讲电话 |
| [03:10] | I don’t give a rat’s ass what they can hear! | 老娘才不管他们能不能听见呢 |
| [03:13] | His father’s a jerk and you burned down my freakin’ house! | 他爹是个王八蛋 你点了老娘的房子 |
| [03:17] | Our house. | 我们的房子 |
| [03:19] | Dear God, stop talking. | 老天爷啊 闭上你的臭嘴吧 |
| [03:27] | Aw, damn! | 老天没眼啊 |
| [03:29] | Hey, Berta. | 波塔你好 |
| [03:30] | Bet you’re surprised to see me back. | 我猜你看到我很惊讶吧 |
| [03:32] | It’s my own fault. I let myself believe. | 我错就错在真信你会滚球了 |
| [03:35] | Well, I want you to meet my girlfriend Lyndsey. | 给你介绍下我女朋友琳赛 |
| [03:38] | And this is her son Eldridge. | 这是她儿子爱尔德里奇 |
| [03:40] | And they’re gonna be staying with us for a little while. | 他们会在这住一阵子 |
| [03:42] | What’d he do, burn down your house? | 他干啥了 点了你的房子吗 |
| [03:46] | It was an accident! | 那是意外 |
| [03:52] | Hello, everyone. | 大家好 |
| [03:54] | I hope you all slept well. | 希望你们睡的很好 |
| [03:56] | If there’s anything I can do | 为了让你们住的更舒服 |
| [03:57] | to make your stay here more comfortable, | 有什么我能做的 |
| [03:59] | please be sure to tell me. | 尽量提出来 |
| [04:00] | Thank you, Charlie. That is so… | 谢谢查理 你真是 |
| [04:02] | Uh! He doesn’t mean it. | 他说的都是反话 |
| [04:06] | Hey, Uncle Charlie? | 查理伯伯 |
| [04:06] | Yeah? | 干虾米 |
| [04:07] | You miss me? | 想我没 |
| [04:13] | He missed me. | 他想我了 |
| [04:21] | Honestly, I don’t see why you can’t live here. | 说实话 我觉得这里还是可以住的 |
| [04:25] | You’re kidding, right? | 你傻啊 |
| [04:27] | There’s no roof. | 连屋顶都没了 |
| [04:28] | So wear a hat. | 带个帽子呗 |
| [04:31] | My great grandmother’s candlesticks. | 我曾祖母的烛台 |
| [04:35] | Oh, Lyndsey, I’m sorry. | 琳赛我是真的对不起你 |
| [04:36] | She smuggled these out of Denmark | 纳粹入侵的时候 |
| [04:38] | when the Nazis invaded. | 她老人家辛辛苦苦从丹麦偷运来的 |
| [04:39] | Really? Where’d she hide ’em? | 真的啊 她藏哪才能带过来的 |
| [04:41] | Charlie, don’t go there. | 查理 差不多得了 |
| [04:42] | Oh, like I’m the only one? | 难道只有我有疑问 |
| [04:44] | Look at the bright side. | 看看好的一面 |
| [04:46] | Even though we’ve lost some material items, | 尽管我们损失了一些财物 |
| [04:48] | the important thing is we’re all safe | 但是更重要的是大家都安全 |
| [04:50] | and we’ve still got each other, right. | 我们还拥有彼此啊 |
| [04:52] | You’re making my skin crawl. | 我掉了一地的鸡皮疙瘩 |
| [04:55] | Hey, guys… smile. | 来一起说茄子 |
| [04:58] | It’s for your Christmas card. | 你们的圣诞卡就指望这张照片了 |
| [05:00] | All my stuff is wrecked. | 我所有的东西都毁了 |
| [05:03] | Oh, I’m sorry, buddy. | 对不起了 |
| [05:04] | Sorry isn’t gonna bring back | 对不起有个屁用 |
| [05:05] | guitar or my X-Box | 我的吉他和X-Box |
| [05:06] | or the history paper that’s due tomorrow | 还有一直拖到昨天才写的历史论文 |
| [05:09] | that I totally had finished. | 都烧了个精光 |
| [05:11] | Where’s Eldridge? | 爱尔德里奇人呢 |
| [05:12] | He’s drying out his weed in the backyard. | 在后院干燥他的大麻呢 |
| [05:14] | Weed?! | 大麻 |
| [05:15] | Wii. | 是Wii[发音类似”大麻”] |
| [05:17] | Nintendo Wii. | 任天堂的游戏机Wii |
| [05:18] | I better go help him. | 我还是去帮他好了 |
| [05:21] | I could use a little Wii right now. | 我现在倒挺想来点Wii[暗指大麻]的 |
| [05:26] | Is this my Armani jacket? | 这是我的阿玛尼外套吗 |
| [05:28] | Oh! Oh, yeah. You know, | 是的 |
| [05:30] | I don’t know how that got in with my things. | 我也不知道怎么会跟我的东西放到一起的 |
| [05:32] | I was gonna bring it back. | 我本来是要拿回去给你的 |
| [05:33] | But now that you’re here, | 不过既然你都来了 |
| [05:34] | why don’t you just take it with you? | 你干脆就把它带回去怎么样 |
| [05:36] | Saves me the trip. | 省得我再跑一趟了 |
| [05:37] | You know what? Happy birthday. | 送你怎么样 生日快乐 |
| [05:42] | Not much of a birthday present. | 这也太没有生日礼物的样子了 |
| [05:45] | Hi, neighbor. | 你好 邻居 |
| [05:47] | We saw your cars out front. | 我们看到你们的车停在外面 |
| [05:48] | Hey, Judith. | 朱蒂丝 |
| [05:49] | Incredible, huh? | 不可思议吧 |
| [05:51] | Wow, this place is a wreck. | 这地方全毁了 |
| [05:54] | But still livable. | 但还是可以住人的 |
| [05:59] | What are you gonna do? | 那你们怎么办呀 |
| [06:01] | Well, till the place gets fixed up, | 在这个地方修好之前 |
| [06:02] | we’re all staying in Malibu with Charlie. | 我们都跟查理住在马里布 |
| [06:04] | Really? | 是吗 |
| [06:06] | All of you… | 你们所有人 |
| [06:07] | – at Charlie’s? – What are you smiling about? | -都住在查理家 -你笑什么 |
| [06:09] | You know what I’m smiling about. | 你知道我在笑什么 |
| [06:12] | Well, I hope the repairs go quickly | 我希望这里能快点修好 |
| [06:14] | so we get you back here real soon. | 这样你们就能早点回来了 |
| [06:16] | Thanks. I’m gonna miss | 谢谢 我每天早上 |
| [06:18] | your friendly face every morning | 拿报纸的时候 |
| [06:19] | when I’m getting the paper. | 都会想念你那友好的面孔的 |
| [06:21] | Every morning?! | 每天早上 |
| [06:22] | Our schedules synch up | 我每天早上竞走的时候 |
| [06:23] | when I’m doing my power walk. | 都会遇到她 |
| [06:29] | Power walk? | 竞走 |
| [06:30] | What are you smiling about? | 你笑什么 |
| [06:31] | You know what I’m smiling about. | 你知道我笑什么 |
| [06:34] | Hey! My pipe survived! | 我的烟斗还在 |
| [06:37] | It’s like a miracle. | 这就像是个奇迹 |
| [06:41] | Filthy habit. | 不是个好习惯 |
| [06:49] | Oh, look, look, look — The Towering Inferno is on. | 看 看 看 在演《火烧摩天楼》呢 |
| [06:58] | No? | 不喜欢吗 |
| [07:02] | Oh! Stephen King’s Firestarter. | 斯蒂芬·金的《神秘火焰》 |
| [07:07] | No? | 也不喜欢吗 |
| [07:09] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [07:14] | How about Blazing Saddles? | 那《灼热的马鞍》怎么样 |
| [07:22] | Too soon? | 还没缓过神来呢 |
| [07:23] | You guys are no fun. | 你们俩一点也不好玩 |
| [07:26] | I’m gonna call a hooker. | 我要叫个妓女过来 |
| [07:28] | Charlie, there’s two young boys in the house. | 查理 这里住着两个小男孩呢 |
| [07:31] | Let ’em get their own hookers. | 他们想要的话 就让他们自己去找 |
| [07:32] | Charlie, for God’s sake. | 查理 看在上帝的份上 |
| [07:34] | Don’t worry. I’m a responsible uncle. | 别担心 我是个负责任的伯父 |
| [07:36] | That’s nice to know. | 这还不错 |
| [07:37] | I promise I’ll get a quiet prostitute. | 我保证会找个安静点的妓女 |
| [07:40] | Believe it or not, | 不管你信不信都好 |
| [07:41] | that’s a real concession on his part. | 这对他来说 已经是很大的让步了 |
| [07:43] | Now where is my phone? | 我的电话呢 |
| [07:46] | Oh, right, I must’ve left it in | 对了 我肯定是把电话落在 |
| [07:48] | the charred-but-still-very-livable remains of your house, | 你那个烧焦了但还是可以住人的房子里了 |
| [07:54] | which he burned down. | 别忘了是他烧的 |
| [07:57] | You’re gonna go over there now? | 你要现在过去吗 |
| [07:59] | All my hooker numbers are in that phone. | 我认识的所有妓女的号码都在那个电话里 |
| [08:01] | So unless you wanna have sex with me | 除非你肯以每小时一千美金的价格 |
| [08:02] | for $1,000 an hour, I need the phone. | 跟我上床 不然我就要拿回那个电话 |
| [08:11] | You don’t really think he’d give me $1,000 an hour? | 他应该不会真的给我每小时一千美金吧 |
| [08:14] | If I were you, I’d get the money up front. | 我要是你的话 我就叫他先付款 |
| [08:30] | Ah…there we are. | 找到了 |
| [08:36] | *A-B-C-D-E-F-G-* A-B-C-D-E-F-G- | |
| [08:39] | *H-I-J* H…? | |
| [08:40] | Hookers. | 妓女 |
| [08:42] | Hookers, hookers, hookers… | 妓女 妓女 妓女 |
| [08:48] | Lookin’ for a quiet hooker. | 要找个安静的妓女 |
| [08:51] | Ah, there we go: “Silent Betty” | 找到了 安静的贝蒂 |
| [08:56] | Not a lot of coverage in here. | 这里信号不太好 |
| [08:59] | Who the hell are you? | 你是谁 |
| [09:01] | Who the hell are you? | 你又是谁 |
| [09:02] | You’re right, let’s just stay mysterious strangers. | 没错 咱们还是做神秘的陌生人好了 |
| [09:05] | This used to be my house, you know. | 这曾经是我的房子 |
| [09:09] | You the ex-husband? | 你就是那个前夫吗 |
| [09:11] | Chris MacElroy. | 克里斯·马克艾罗伊 |
| [09:12] | Charlie Harper. | 查理·哈勃 |
| [09:13] | Alan’s brother. | 你是艾伦的哥哥 |
| [09:16] | I don’t usually admit it, but yeah. | 我通常不承认的 但我的确是他哥 |
| [09:19] | What are you doing here, Chris? | 你在这干吗 克里斯 |
| [09:21] | I wanted to see what the damage was | 我想看看这里烧成什么样了 |
| [09:24] | and just, you know, sit here. | 然后就在这坐会 |
| [09:25] | Try and figure out where it all went wrong. | 想想看到底是哪儿出了问题 |
| [09:29] | What’d you come up with? | 那你想到什么了 |
| [09:30] | I probably shouldn’t have banged the babysitter. | 我也许不应该上那个保姆的 |
| [09:34] | Yeah, that can do it. | 这种事的确很麻烦 |
| [09:38] | I did a babysitter once. | 我以前也上过一个保姆 |
| [09:40] | My mom was furious. | 我妈气疯了 |
| [09:44] | Wouldn’t drive her home and absolutely refused to pay her. | 不肯送她回家 也坚决不肯付她钱 |
| [09:47] | Want a drink? | 想喝点吗 |
| [09:49] | Sure, why not? | 当然 为什么不呢 |
| [09:53] | To babysitters. | 敬保姆们 |
| [09:58] | Is this a private party or can anyone join? | 这是私人派对吗 还是大家都可以参加 |
| [10:00] | Hey, Herb! Come on in. | 赫伯 进来吧 |
| [10:03] | Hey, Chris, long time no see. | 克里斯 好久不见了 |
| [10:05] | Likewise. Grab a seat, have a drink. | 你也是 找个地方坐 一起喝一杯 |
| [10:08] | Oh, gee, I don’t know. | 恐怕不行 |
| [10:09] | I told Judith I was taking out the garbage. | 我跟朱蒂丝说我出来丢垃圾 |
| [10:13] | What the heck. I didn’t say where I was taking it. | 管他的呢 我又没说把垃圾丢去哪 |
| [10:20] | So you two guys know each other? | 这么说你们俩认识咯 |
| [10:21] | Oh, you kidding? | 开什么玩笑 |
| [10:22] | Chris is a legend in this neighborhood. | 克里斯可是这附近的传奇人物 |
| [10:24] | What was she, like, 19? | 她多少岁 十九吗 |
| [10:26] | Twenty-two. | 二十二 |
| [10:28] | Nevertheless, quite an accomplishment. | 总之是个壮举 |
| [10:32] | Hey, is she still babysitting? | 她还在做保姆吗 |
| [10:35] | ‘Cause we’re looking for somebody, | 我们正在找保姆 |
| [10:36] | and everybody Judith interviews is fat and ugly. | 朱蒂丝之前面试的都是些又肥又丑的 |
| [10:38] | Take it from me, Herb, | 记着我的话 赫伯 |
| [10:40] | you’re better off with fat and ugly. | 又肥又丑的对你有好处 |
| [10:42] | Oh, I hardly think so. | 我可不这么想 |
| [10:44] | You’d really be willing | 你真的愿意为了一个 |
| [10:47] | to risk your marriage over a cute young babysitter? | 年轻可人的保姆而牺牲自己的婚姻吗 |
| [10:49] | I certainly wouldn’t risk it over a fat ugly one. | 反正丑的胖的我肯定不愿意 |
| [10:52] | Can’t argue with that. | 这倒也是啊 |
| [11:02] | I made us a snacky snack. | 我做了份美味小吃哦 |
| [11:04] | Swell. | 不错 |
| [11:05] | We have onion dip and cool ranch. | 洋葱酱搭配薯片 |
| [11:08] | Always good to have a choice of dips. | 可以选口味就是好啊 |
| [11:10] | And I chose you. | 我选你 |
| [11:14] | Zing! | 真幽默 |
| [11:19] | What are you doing? | 你干嘛啊 |
| [11:20] | Just gettin’ comfy. | 靠着好舒服 |
| [11:22] | Snugglin’ up on the world’s best pillow. | 这可是世界上最棒的枕头啦 |
| [11:35] | Whoa. That was an accident, right? | 你不是故意的吧 |
| [11:37] | Sure… | 当然… |
| [11:41] | let’s call it an accident. | 算是个意外吧 |
| [11:44] | – Hey, can you take me back to Mom’s? – Why? | -把我送回我妈家吧 -怎么了 |
| [11:46] | Eldridge is being a tool. | 艾尔德里奇太烦人了 |
| [11:50] | Dad! | 爸 |
| [11:51] | It wasn’t me, it was… | 不是我放的 是… |
| [11:54] | Yeah, I’ll take you back to your mom’s. | 走吧 把你送过去 |
| [11:56] | Hey, Alan? | 艾伦 |
| [11:57] | What? | 咋了 |
| [11:58] | Try not to burn down her house. | 把她房子也烧了吧 |
| [12:01] | Yeah, ha-ha. | 很搞笑 |
| [12:02] | You might want to light some matches while I’m gone. | 我走了 你就只有点火柴取暖了 |
| [12:10] | So, Chris, what’re you up to these days? | 克里斯 你最近在忙什么 |
| [12:12] | Not a lot. After Lyndsey threw me out, | 没什么忙的 自从和林赛离婚后 |
| [12:14] | I lost my job, started drinking heavily | 我丢了工作 便成天酗酒 |
| [12:16] | and I just found out I have a lump on my groin. | 大腿根儿又长了一个肿块 |
| [12:18] | Bad place for a lump. | 真是没长对地方 |
| [12:21] | Tell me a good place. | 那该长哪儿啊 |
| [12:23] | Somebody else’s groin. | 当然是长在别人身上咯 |
| [12:29] | Touch? | 真是精辟 |
| [12:33] | Boy, you make one mistake | 哎 一失足 |
| [12:34] | and you pay for it for the rest of your life. | 就成千古恨啊 |
| [12:36] | You only did the babysitter once? | 你就只上过那保姆一次吗 |
| [12:38] | Oh, no, that was two years, morning, noon and night, | 才不是 2年里早中晚一天三次 |
| [12:41] | but I count it as one mistake. | 但总归是一个错误 |
| [12:44] | Maybe that’s where he got the lump. | 可能肿块就是这么来的 |
| [12:49] | Did somebody order a pizza? | 谁叫的披萨 |
| [12:51] | Hey, it’s my favorite pizza boy! | 我最喜欢的披萨男孩 |
| [12:54] | I’m 38 years old, Mr. Harper. | 查理先生 我都38岁了 |
| [12:56] | I have high blood pressure and alimony payments. | 我有血压高 有赡养费要费 |
| [12:58] | -You got a lump on your groin? -No. | -那你大腿根儿有没有肿块 -这个真没有 |
| [12:59] | Then don’t complain. | 你那还抱怨个啥 |
| [13:02] | So what are you people doing here? | 你们在这儿干嘛呢 |
| [13:04] | Having a lonely drink in memory of our hopes and dreams | 在这儿喝点小酒 追忆那已灰飞烟灭的 |
| [13:07] | that are now dead and buried. | 少年豪情壮志 |
| [13:08] | Oh. | 这样哦 |
| [13:11] | I’m in. | 我也加一个 |
| [13:16] | If it’s all the same to you, | 如果你不介意的话 |
| [13:18] | I’m gonna stay with Mom for a little while. | 我这段时间就住老妈这里 |
| [13:20] | Come on, Jake, | 杰克 行了吧 |
| [13:22] | I know it’s been a little rocky lately, | 最近的确诸事不顺 |
| [13:23] | but things’ll work out. | 但总会雨过天晴吧 |
| [13:24] | Yeah, well, when they do, call me. | 好吧 等天晴了你再给我讲 |
| [13:27] | – Hey, Mom. – What are you doing here? | -老妈 -你们来干嘛 |
| [13:30] | What is he he doing here? | 他干嘛来了 |
| [13:31] | He wasn’t getting along with Lyndsey’s son. | 他和林赛的儿子闹别扭 |
| [13:33] | Maybe that’s because lyndsey’s son is a degenerate pothead. | 指不定她儿子堕落到嗑药的地步呢 |
| [13:37] | He’s not so bad. | 没这么糟糕 |
| [13:38] | He just made some bad choices. | 他只是选错了路子 |
| [13:39] | So did his mom. | 他妈还不是啊 |
| [13:43] | Yeah, well, you made the same bad choice she did! | 你不也选错了吗 还好意思说她 |
| [13:55] | So Alan’s, like, I don’t know, five, six years old, | 艾伦 可能就5 6岁的样子吧 |
| [13:58] | and I walk in his bedroom and he’s in there with the dog, | 走进卧室 然后一直和狗呆在那儿 |
| [14:01] | and I start yelling, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! No, no! | 我就立马去阻止他 |
| [14:04] | Are you crazy?! Stop that!” | 我说”你疯了吗 快停下” |
| [14:05] | Looks up at me and says “What?” | 他看着我 问”怎么了” |
| [14:06] | I say, “Alan, the dog is supposed | 我说 “艾伦 别弄反了 |
| [14:08] | to lick the peanut butter off you.” | 应该是狗帮你舔干净花生酱才是” |
| [14:14] | To this day, I can’t eat peanut butter. | 从那天开始 我就不吃花生酱了 |
| [14:17] | Hello? | 你们好啊 |
| [14:19] | Hey, we were just talking about you. | 我们正聊你呢 |
| [14:22] | All good, I hope. | 应该没说我坏话吧 |
| [14:24] | Oh, yeah, it was good. | 全说你好话呢 |
| [14:27] | So, what’s going on? | 你们在这里做什么呢 |
| [14:28] | Just having a drink with a few friends. | 几个朋友聚聚 喝点小酒 |
| [14:30] | Chris, I believe you know my brother. | 克里斯 这就是我老弟 |
| [14:32] | The man who’s banging your wife and burned down your house. | 睡了你的人 还烧了你的房 |
| [14:35] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [14:38] | Pull up a chair. | 快坐啊 |
| [14:41] | Have a drink with your girlfriend’s ex and your wife’s new husband. | 和你女朋友的前夫 你老婆的新老公喝几杯 |
| [14:45] | I just brought the pizza. | 我是送披萨的 |
| [14:46] | I don’t think I’ve slept with anyone you know. | 我应该没和你认识的人睡过 |
| [14:50] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:53] | Hey, you know what I just realized? | 我才发现一个问题 |
| [14:55] | You three guys have all slept with each other. | 你们仨算是相互睡过了 |
| [14:58] | – What? – What? – With all due respect, Charlie, | -什么 -什么 -查理 恕我直言 |
| [15:00] | I think I’d remember that. | 如果睡过我想我肯定记得的 |
| [15:02] | No, no, think about it. | 不 你们想想啊 |
| [15:05] | They say that when you have sex with someone, | 人们说如果你和某人做爱 |
| [15:07] | you’re basically having sex with everyone they’ve ever had sex with. | 其实就等于 你和干过她的所有人做爱 |
| [15:10] | Oh. I guess you and I have done the dirty deed. | 这么说来 我俩确实有一腿咯 |
| [15:15] | Because of Judith, not the peanut butter dog. | 是通过朱蒂丝 不是那花生酱狗狗哦 |
| [15:22] | You told them?! | 你告诉他们了 |
| [15:24] | I tell everybody. | 我见人就说啊 |
| [15:28] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [15:29] | So Herb has slept with Alan, | 那么赫伯和艾伦睡过 |
| [15:31] | and Alan has slept with Chris, which means that… | 艾伦又和克里斯睡过 也就是说… |
| [15:34] | I’ve slept with Lyndsey! | 我和林赛睡过了 |
| [15:35] | Yes! | 爽啊 |
| [15:50] | Hello? | 你好 |
| [15:52] | How could you sleep with Herb? | 你怎么能和赫伯睡呢 |
| [15:55] | Alan, is that you? | 艾伦 是你吗 |
| [15:57] | Who’s Herb? Where are you? | 赫伯是谁啊 你在哪儿 |
| [15:58] | I’m in our house. | 我在我们的家 |
| [16:00] | What are you doing there? | 你在那儿干嘛 |
| [16:01] | Because there’s nowhere else for me to go | 因为你不原谅哥 |
| [16:03] | cause you won’t forgive me. | 哥就没地方可以去了 |
| [16:05] | Why won’t you forgive me? | 你为什么不原谅哥 |
| [16:07] | You’re drunk. | 你喝醉了 |
| [16:09] | Yeah, well, you farted at me. | 那又如何 哥还记得你冲着哥放屁呢 |
| [16:12] | Good-bye, Alan. | 我挂了 艾伦 |
| [16:14] | Where’s Jake? | 杰克在哪儿 |
| [16:16] | He left hours ago, to get away from you. | 他几个小时前 为了摆脱你走了 |
| [16:19] | Where’s Alan? | 艾伦呢 |
| [16:20] | He left to get away from me. | 他为了摆脱我 走了 |
| [16:22] | Where’s what’s-his-name? | 那哪个啥呢 |
| [16:25] | The guy who owns the house? | 那个房东呢 |
| [16:27] | He left to get away from all of us. | 他为了摆脱咱们四口子 走了 |
| [16:32] | Hey, this is working out pretty good, huh? | 哇 惹人厌这招挺管用的 对吧 |
| [16:36] | You know, I envy you guys. | 我多羡慕你们啊 |
| [16:40] | You’ve all been married, have kids. | 你们结过婚 有小孩 |
| [16:42] | Yeah, it didn’t end well, | 虽然都是以离婚收场 |
| [16:45] | but for a moment in time, each and every one of you experienced | 但至少曾经有那么一刻 你们在座的每一个人 |
| [16:48] | what it is to have a family, | 亲身感受了家庭的温暖 |
| [16:50] | to give and receive unconditional love. | 得到和给与无条件的爱 |
| [16:54] | My marriage isn’t over. | 我还没离婚呢 |
| [16:56] | Dude, you’ve been taking out the garbage | 伙计 你倒垃圾都倒了两个半小时 |
| [16:58] | for two-and-a-half hours. | 她都不管你 |
| [17:03] | I said it wasn’t over, I didn’t say it was good. | 我说没离 但没说幸福美满 |
| [17:08] | Really, Charlie, you envy us? | 真的吗 查理 你会羡慕我们吗 |
| [17:10] | Oh, come on, look at me. | 拜托 你们看我这德性 |
| [17:12] | What do I have? | 我有什么 |
| [17:13] | A big house on the beach, | 不过是在海滩上坐拥一栋大宅 |
| [17:15] | more money than I know what to do with… | 每天要为怎么花钱而烦恼 |
| [17:18] | and a cell phone full of candid video of me | 有个手机 上面还满是我和美女 |
| [17:22] | having uninhibited sex with beautiful women | 毫无顾忌享受鱼水之欢的偷拍视频 |
| [17:25] | whose names I don’t remember. | 而那些女人多得我连名字都记不起来 |
| [17:31] | I don’t think he envies us at all. | 我觉得他一点儿也不羡慕咱们 |
| [17:35] | Good catch, Herb. | 说得好 赫伯 |
| [17:38] | I gotta go pee. | 我得上个厕所 |
| [17:40] | Oh, uh, bathroom’s right back there. | 洗手间在后面 |
| [17:42] | I know where it is! I used to live here. | 我知道在哪儿 我以前是住这儿的 |
| [17:44] | Right, right. | 对 对 |
| [17:46] | That’s a classy guy. | 真是个乖孩子 |
| [17:48] | Using the toilet in a house with no plumbing. | 这房子连马桶都烧没了 还坚持要去厕所尿 |
| [17:52] | Where have you been going? | 那你一般都尿哪儿 |
| [17:54] | Refrigerator. | 冰箱 |
| [17:57] | I filled the vegetable crisper. | 我尿到放蔬菜的那格 |
| [17:58] | See? That’s what I love about you, Charlie. | 瞧 这就是我最欣赏你的地方 查理 |
| [18:02] | You’re a maverick. | 你总是不肯屈就 |
| [18:03] | I gotta start being more mavericky-ky. | 我要向你学习 不向恶势力低头 |
| [18:07] | Herb, where the hell are you?! | 赫伯 你死哪儿去了 |
| [18:10] | Maybe tomorrow. | 或许等明天再开始 |
| [18:14] | Hey, Lyndsey, you’ll never guess | 琳赛 你永远也想不到 |
| [18:17] | what we figured out about you and me. | 我们刚才发现了我和你之间的小秘密 |
| [18:20] | – Herb! – See ya soon. | -赫伯 – 回见 |
| [18:23] | Alan, let’s go home. | 艾伦 跟我回家 |
| [18:25] | You came to get me? | 你特意来找我了 |
| [18:27] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [18:28] | You forgive me? | 那你原谅我了吗 |
| [18:29] | Well, I thought about it and… | 我考虑了一下 |
| [18:32] | Hey, Lyndsey. | 琳赛 |
| [18:33] | Chris. | 克里斯 |
| [18:35] | What are you doing here? | 你来这儿干嘛 |
| [18:36] | Well, I came to see the damage | 我来看看这房子烧成什么样了 |
| [18:39] | and I just started thinking about us; | 然后我开始回想咱俩的过去 |
| [18:41] | what an idiot I was. | 我真傻 |
| [18:43] | You were, you know? | 的确 你也知道啊 |
| [18:45] | I’d give anything to start over. | 如果可以重来 我什么都愿意 |
| [18:47] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [18:49] | Uh, excuse me, but weren’t you about to forgive me? | 打断一下 你不是来原谅我的吗 |
| [18:53] | Can we go out someplace | 我们能找个地方 |
| [18:54] | and have a cup of coffee and maybe, | 喝杯咖啡 又或者 |
| [18:56] | I don’t know, just talk? | 只是聊聊天 行吗 |
| [18:58] | Babysitter. | 别忘了保姆事件 |
| [19:02] | Well, I guess | 那好吧 |
| [19:05] | there’s nothing wrong with talking. | 只是聊聊天而已 |
| [19:06] | That’s great. | 太棒了 |
| [19:08] | I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you and Eldridge. | 我想死你和艾尔德里奇了 |
| [19:10] | He really needs a father, Chris. | 他真的需要一位父亲 克里斯 |
| [19:12] | Uh, so I’ll see you back at the house, right? | 那咱们家里见 对吧 |
| [19:18] | She left her kid there; she’s gotta come back. | 她把孩子留那儿 她肯定会回来的 |
| [19:21] | Would you come back for that kid? | 你会为了那种孩子回来吗 |
| [19:25] | She’s never coming back. | 她不会回来了 |
| [19:37] | You know who you remind me of, Alan? | 你知道你让我想起谁吗 艾伦 |
| [19:39] | Job. | 约伯 |
| [19:41] | Job from the Bible? | 《圣经》里面那个约伯吗 |
| [19:42] | How many Jobs you know? | 你还认识好几个约伯吗 |
| [19:44] | Job– the guy God punishes just for laughs. | 约伯 就是上帝因为被嘲笑而去惩罚他的那个人 |
| [19:47] | Mm! God punishes Job to test his faith. | 上帝惩罚约伯是为了测试他的信仰 |
| [19:50] | Still funny. | 反正就是个笑话 |
| [19:54] | What time is it? | 几点了 |
| [19:55] | A little after midnight. | 12点多了 |
| [19:58] | So much for that 30-minute guarantee. | 保证半个小时内送到的黄金定律被打破了 |
| [20:00] | Good night, fellas. | 晚安 伙计们 |
| [20:03] | Good night, Gordon. | 晚安 戈登 |
| [20:04] | Night, Gordon. | 晚安 戈登 |
| [20:07] | So… | 那么 |
| [20:10] | Guess it’s just you and me, huh? | 又剩咱俩了 |
| [20:12] | Two guys sitting alone in a burned-out house. | 两个老男人坐在被烧得一干二净的房子里 |
| [20:18] | Hey! | 哇 |
| [20:21] | Silent Betty! You made it! | 哑女贝蒂 你赶到了 |
| [20:22] | See ya, Alan. | 回见 艾伦 |
| [20:28] | Well, sure, half and half sounds good. | 当然 一个半夜加一个半天也不错 |
| [20:40] | Maybe I am like Job. | 或许我就像约伯 |
| [20:45] | But I am not gonna lose my faith! | 但我一定会坚持我的信仰 |
| [20:58] | Aw, crap. | 真是屋漏偏逢连夜雨 |