| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Previously on Two and a Half Men… | 好汉两个半 前情回顾 |
| [00:03] | Hi, Charlie. | 你好 查理 |
| [00:06] | You should know that I didn’t come over to ruin your date. | 你应该知道我不是来给你约会添乱的 |
| [00:08] | Really? Why did you come over? | 是吗 那你来干嘛 |
| [00:10] | To tell you that I’m getting married. | 我是来告诉你 我要结婚了 |
| [00:12] | Today’s the big day, huh? | 今天是个重要日子 对吧 |
| [00:14] | Oh, please. There’s no wedding. | 拜托 根本不会有婚礼 |
| [00:16] | Would it make a difference to you, | 要是知道那张可爱的小脸再也不会 |
| [00:17] | knowing that cute little face will never pop up over that railing again? | 从栏杆上突然冒出来了 |
| [00:21] | That the one woman who’s always loved you and been there for you | 那个一直爱着你陪着你的女人 |
| [00:24] | is forever out of reach? | 永远的得不到了 你会失落吗 |
| [00:27] | Come on. | 走吧 |
| [00:28] | Where are we going? | 去哪 |
| [00:29] | To the church. I’m going to prove to you | 去教堂 我会向你证明 |
| [00:31] | that she’s not getting married. | 她不会结婚的 |
| [00:32] | Look. Tell me if you see a wedding. | 睁大眼睛看看 有婚礼记得告诉我 |
| [00:36] | I see a wedding. | 我看见了婚礼 |
| [00:38] | Two persons present now come to be joined. | 两人正式成为夫妇 |
| [00:41] | Rose and Manfred… | 罗斯和曼弗雷德 |
| [00:43] | She’s really doing it. | 她还真结婚了 |
| [00:45] | …let him speak now, or forever hold his peace. | 要么现在说出来 要么就永远沉默 |
| [00:50] | And we’re clear. | 他们走了 |
| [00:52] | Yep, that ought to do it. | 这应该能哄住他 |
| [00:54] | Thanks, Freddie. | 谢谢你 福瑞迪 |
| [01:00] | Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe. | 一二三四五 |
| [01:02] | Catch a tiger… | 上山打老虎 |
| [01:05] | Oh, who am I kidding? | 我骗谁呢 |
| [01:06] | I love you all. | 我爱你们每一个 |
| [01:10] | Let’s see. What else do we need? | 让我看看 还要买点什么 |
| [01:12] | Oh, right. Ice. | 对了 还要买冰 |
| [01:14] | Water in a useful form. | 水比较有用的一种形态 |
| [01:17] | Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Everybody all right? | 你们没事吧 |
| [01:20] | Charlie? | 查理 |
| [01:21] | Rose? | 罗斯 |
| [01:23] | What a nice surprise. | 多美妙的惊喜啊 |
| [01:26] | – How are you? – Good. Good. Good. | -你还好吗 -很好 很好 |
| [01:27] | You look great. | 你看起来气色很好 |
| [01:28] | Oh, thank you. Married life agrees with me. | 谢谢 我很适应婚后生活 |
| [01:31] | Oh, that’s right. Congratulations. | 没错 恭喜了 |
| [01:32] | So where are you living now? | 你现在住在哪 |
| [01:34] | Uh, Manny and I moved into my beach house. | 曼妮和我搬到了我的海边别墅了 |
| [01:36] | Oh, so we’ll be neighbors again. | 那我们现在又是邻居了 |
| [01:37] | I’ll have to come by and meet him sometime. | 我应该找个时间过去见见他 |
| [01:39] | I don’t think that’s a good idea. | 我觉得这样不太好吧 |
| [01:41] | The old boyfriend meeting the new husband. | 前任男友和现任老公见面 |
| [01:43] | It’s a little awkward. | 多少有点尴尬 |
| [01:44] | Yeah, I guess you’re right. | 对 我想你是对的 |
| [01:46] | I’ve never been that popular with husbands. | 我一直不怎么受丈夫们待见 |
| [01:48] | Or fathers. | 父亲们也是 |
| [01:50] | Or boyfriends. Sons. | 男友们和儿子们也是如此 |
| [01:52] | Surly lesbian roommates. | 当然还有同性恋室友们 |
| [01:54] | So, anyway, you’re happy? | 总之 你现在很幸福吗 |
| [01:56] | More than I ever dreamed possible. | 比我能想象的还要幸福 |
| [01:58] | You know what he said to me the other day? | 你知道他前几天跟我说什么了吗 |
| [02:00] | Without me at his side, he might as well not exist. | 没有我在他身边 他就好像不存在一样 |
| [02:06] | Wow. That’s a little gay, but all right. | 这话听起来有点娘气 但好吧 |
| [02:09] | What about you, Charlie? | 你呢 查理 |
| [02:11] | Is there anyone special in your life? | 你生命里有没有某个人很特别 |
| [02:12] | No. Not really. I mean, there’s gals with special skills, | 没有 有特殊技能的女人倒是有几个 |
| [02:16] | but I got to pay extra. | 但我要多付点钱 |
| [02:17] | You should find someone who loves you the way Manny loves me. | 你应该找一个像曼尼爱我那样爱你的人 |
| [02:20] | The love is the same. It’s just at an hourly rate. | 爱都一样 只不过每个小时明码要价 |
| [02:23] | Don’t grow old alone, Charlie. | 别孤独终老 查理 |
| [02:26] | Right. | 没错 |
| [02:28] | – Bye. – Bye. | -再见 -再见 |
| [02:35] | What is it with women? | 女人究竟是怎么回事 |
| [02:36] | They go off and get married, | 一转眼结了婚 |
| [02:38] | and all of a sudden seem a lot more beautiful. | 突然就漂亮了好几倍 |
| [02:42] | Ah, no matter, MacTavich. | 没关系 麦克塔维奇 |
| [02:44] | We can grow old together. | 我们可以一起变老 |
| [02:48] | After all, you’re only 20. | 你居然只有20岁 |
| [02:51] | But I doubt you’re gonna see 21. | 但我估计你过不了21岁了 |
| [03:22] | Is it on? | 开始拍了吗 |
| [03:24] | I think so. | 我觉得是的 |
| [03:25] | All right, let’s do this. | 我们开始吧 |
| [03:27] | Hi. I’m Jake Harper, | 你好 我是杰克·哈勃 |
| [03:28] | and this is the Human Volcano. | 即将为您呈现的是人体火山 |
| [03:30] | We begin by drinking a warm can of Diet Coke. | 我们先喝一听温热的低糖可口可乐 |
| [03:33] | That’s not Coke, dude. | 那不是可口可乐 哥们 |
| [03:36] | Yeah. My dad did the shopping. | 确实不是 这是我爸买的 |
| [03:38] | Anyway, a warm diet cola product. | 总之 一听温热的低糖可乐汽水 |
| [03:52] | And now I will swallow a Mentos. | 现在 我要吞下去一个曼妥思糖 |
| [03:55] | Mentos. | 这是曼妥思糖 |
| [04:00] | Now I will lay on the floor. | 现在 我要躺在地板上 |
| [04:04] | Goggles. | 带上潜水镜 |
| [04:05] | Right. Safety first. | 对了 安全第一 |
| [04:08] | You feel anything yet? | 你感觉到什么了吗 |
| [04:10] | Oh, yeah. It’s working. | 感觉到了 快成功了 |
| [04:11] | If it starts coming out the back door, | 要是开始向后门冲过去的话 |
| [04:13] | pull your pants down and roll over. | 把你裤子脱下来 然后翻过身去 |
| [04:15] | Good thinking. | 想的很周到 |
| [04:17] | Hey, what’s going on? | 你们在干什么呢 |
| [04:18] | Not a good time, Dad. | 现在不是时候 老爸 |
| [04:20] | What are you doing on the floor? | 你躺地板上干嘛呢 |
| [04:25] | Awesome! | 帅呆了 |
| [04:27] | What the hell are you doing? | 你他妈的搞什么鬼 |
| [04:28] | I’m sorry. I’m sorry. | 对不起 对不起 |
| [04:30] | Are you all right? | 你没事吧 |
| [04:31] | Yeah. We were just making a video. Hold on. | 没事 我们刚刚在录视频 等等 |
| [04:36] | Cool stunts. | 精彩的表演 |
| [04:39] | Cool stunts? | 精彩的表演 |
| [04:40] | In God’s name, why? | 上帝啊 这是为什么呢 |
| [04:42] | – You’ve heard of Jackass? – Yeah. | -你听说过《蠢蛋搞怪秀》吗 -听说过 |
| [04:44] | We are Dumbass. | 我们是《傻蛋搞怪秀》 |
| [04:48] | Really? | 是吗 |
| [04:50] | However did you come up with that name? | 你们怎么想出这么个名字 |
| [04:53] | Well, we were thinking | 我们在想 |
| [04:54] | “What’s better than Jackass?” | 还有什么比《蠢蛋搞怪秀》更好的名字呢 |
| [04:56] | That’s kind of a rhetorical question. | 我这是个反问句 |
| [04:59] | No. It wasn’t that hard. | 其实也没那么难 |
| [05:02] | It came down to a choice | 筛选以后就剩下 |
| [05:03] | between Dumbass and The Asskateers. | “傻蛋”和”二傻”了 |
| [05:05] | I think you made the right call. | 我觉得你们选对了 |
| [05:07] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [05:08] | Oh, yes. I applaud your decision. | 真的 我为你们的决定而鼓掌欢呼 |
| [05:12] | The plan is, we shoot a bunch of cool stunts, | 我们计划拍一系列精彩的表演 |
| [05:14] | post them online, and then sell advertising. | 贴到网上去 然后找广告赞助 |
| [05:16] | Who on earth would advertise on that? | 谁没事会赞助你们 |
| [05:19] | Well, right off the bat, we figure Coke and Mentos. | 这不现成的嘛 我们用了可乐和曼妥思 |
| [05:23] | It’s a product placement bonanza. | 这可是个植入广告赚大钱的机会 |
| [05:27] | Come on, let’s go upload our premiere episode. | 快走 我们去上传精彩亮相吧 |
| [05:29] | Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What about this mess? | 那这一片狼藉怎么办 |
| [05:34] | Damn it. | 他奶奶的 |
| [05:37] | I’m gonna be taking care of that kid till I’m 90. | 这孩子要让我一直操心到90岁 |
| [05:40] | Please, God, don’t make me live that long. | 上帝求你了 别让我活那么久 |
| [05:44] | You’ll never guess who I ran into at the supermarket. | 你绝对想不到我在超市遇见谁了 |
| [05:47] | Rose. | 是罗斯 |
| [05:49] | Oh. She’s back from her honeymoon? | 她度完蜜月回来了吗 |
| [05:50] | Yep, and living down the beach with her new husband. | 对 而且和她的新老公就住在海边别墅 |
| [05:53] | Ah, good for her. | 真不错 |
| [05:55] | Yeah, good for her. | 是啊 真不错 |
| [06:00] | You have to forget about her, Charlie. | 你必须忘了她 查理 |
| [06:01] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [06:03] | That’s why I got me some milk of amnesia. | 所以我买了忘情水 |
| [06:05] | Nice. | 很好 |
| [06:07] | What are you doing down there? | 你趴在那干嘛呢 |
| [06:09] | Wiping up cola vomit my son spewed in my face. | 擦掉我儿子吐在我脸上的可乐 |
| [06:13] | Oh, great. The Human Volcano worked. | 太好了 人体火山成功了 |
| [06:17] | You knew about this? | 你知道这个 |
| [06:19] | It was my idea. | 还是我出的主意呢 |
| [06:20] | You’re kidding. | 坑爹呢吧 |
| [06:21] | Yeah. It’ll make | 当然 拿这段 |
| [06:23] | a great first episode of The Asskateers. | 做《二傻搞怪秀》的第一集肯定很棒 |
| [06:24] | Actually, I think they went with Dumbass. | 事实上 他俩选了《傻蛋搞怪秀》做片名 |
| [06:27] | Oh, damn. I already had a bunch of t-shirts made up. | 该死 我都已经做好了一堆印着《二傻搞怪秀》的衣服了 |
| [06:31] | What can I say? | 我还能说啥呢 |
| [06:32] | Well, still, you got to like that your son’s got | 不过 你该开心呀 毕竟你儿子 |
| [06:34] | a little entrepreneurial spirit. | 还有点创业精神 |
| [06:36] | Thanks for showing me the bright side. | 谢谢你的安慰 |
| [06:38] | No problem. | 小意思 |
| [06:39] | Memory wipe? | 来点孟婆汤不 |
| [06:41] | I think I will. | 好建议 |
| [07:07] | Looking for Japanese subs, Cap’n? | 你在找日本潜艇吗 船长 |
| [07:09] | What? No, I’m just trying out these new binoculars. | 什么 不是 我只是想试试这个新望远镜好用不 |
| [07:12] | You’re spying on Rose, aren’t you? | 你在偷看罗斯 对吧 |
| [07:15] | It’s not spying. It’s… | 不是偷看 只是 |
| [07:16] | Shut up and leave me alone. | 闭嘴 一边凉快去 |
| [07:17] | You said you were going to forget her. | 你说你会忘了她的 |
| [07:20] | And you said you were going to move out after a few days. | 你还说你在我家住几天就搬出去呢 |
| [07:23] | Don’t change the subject. | 别扯开话题 |
| [07:26] | I’m just trying to get a glimpse of her husband. | 我只是想看一眼她的老公 |
| [07:28] | Oh, that’s really sad. | 你还真是可悲呀 |
| [07:30] | Sadder than throwing your back out | 比自慰时扭到腰 |
| [07:31] | trying to pleasure yourself? | 还可悲吗 |
| [07:32] | I was doing yoga. | 我那是在做瑜伽 |
| [07:35] | Then why were you wearing lipstick? | 那你涂口红干吗 |
| [07:40] | And again, don’t change the subject. | 再说一遍 别扯开话题 |
| [07:43] | I am simply curious to see | 我只是好奇 |
| [07:44] | what kind of guy Rose would marry. | 罗斯会嫁给什么样的人 |
| [07:46] | Oh, well, if that’s the case, | 要是这样的话 |
| [07:48] | why don’t you just go over there, knock on the door, | 你何不直接去她家敲门 |
| [07:50] | and shake the man’s hand? | 然后跟她老公打个招呼呢 |
| [07:51] | What would I tell him? “Hi. I’m Charlie Harper. | 我该跟他说什么 “你好 我是查理·哈勃 |
| [07:53] | Your wife used to stalk me”? | 你老婆以前一直跟踪我”吗 |
| [07:55] | I might leave that part out. | 这段可以省略 |
| [07:57] | And besides, I’m sure he already knows about you. | 再说 我相信他肯定知道你的事 |
| [07:59] | How would he know about me? | 他怎么会知道我的事 |
| [08:00] | Well, it’s possible she told him, | 她可能跟他提过 |
| [08:02] | or perhaps he noticed the tattoo | 又或者他注意到了 |
| [08:05] | of your face on her left butt cheek. | 她在左边屁股上纹了你的脸 |
| [08:07] | Yeah, I kind of wish she hadn’t done that. | 我真希望她没那么做 |
| [08:09] | After she takes a hot bath, | 她一泡完热水澡 |
| [08:10] | I start looking like Edward James Olmos. | 我的脸看起来就像爱德华·詹姆斯·奥莫斯[美国老演员] |
| [08:13] | Just go over, introduce yourself | 你就上门介绍一下自己 |
| [08:16] | and welcome him to the neighborhood. | 然后欢迎他搬过来就好了 |
| [08:19] | Yeah, I guess you’re right. | 这么说也对 |
| [08:20] | Bring over a bottle of wine, little housewarming gift. | 带上一瓶酒 一份祝贺乔迁新居的礼物 |
| [08:22] | Now you’re talking. | 这就对了 |
| [08:25] | Geronimo! | 安全下滑 |
| [08:30] | Oh, God. Are you all right? | 上帝啊 你没事吧 |
| [08:32] | Mostly. | 基本没事 |
| [08:34] | Did you remember to get it on video? | 你把这段录下来了吗 |
| [08:36] | Aw, crap. | 该死的 忘了 |
| [08:47] | Charlie, what are you doing here? | 查理 你来干吗 |
| [08:52] | I thought I’d stop by | 我想我应该过来 |
| [08:53] | and welcome you guys to the neighborhood. | 欢迎你们乔迁新居 |
| [08:54] | No, no. This is a bad idea. Please go. | 不 不 这主意糟透了 请你离开吧 |
| [08:56] | But I thought we could open a bottle of wine | 但我想我们可以一起喝瓶酒 |
| [08:57] | and all get to know each other. | 然后彼此认识一下 |
| [08:59] | Listen to me, Charlie. | 听我说 查理 |
| [09:00] | I love my husband. | 我爱我的丈夫 |
| [09:02] | I’m building a new life with him | 我在跟他一起建立新生活 |
| [09:03] | and I won’t let you ruin it. | 我不会让你毁了这一切的 |
| [09:04] | How could I ruin it? | 我怎么可能毁了它呢 |
| [09:06] | Well, he doesn’t even know you exist, | 他不知道你的存在 |
| [09:07] | and I plan on keeping it that way. | 我准备一直瞒着他 |
| [09:09] | How is that possible? What about the tattoo? | 这怎么可能呢 那你的纹身怎么办 |
| [09:11] | I added glasses to it and told him it was Harry Potter. | 我在上面纹了副眼镜 然后跟他说我纹的是哈利波特 |
| [09:17] | Now, please get out of here. | 请你走吧 |
| [09:19] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [09:21] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [09:24] | Just so I’m clear, you and I, we’re…? | 我只想弄清楚一件事 我跟你 咱俩就 |
| [09:27] | Over, finished. | 完了 结束了 |
| [09:30] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [09:32] | I get it. | 我明白了 |
| [09:40] | Told you he’d stop by. | 我就说他一定会来的 |
| [09:47] | Do you realize how lucky you are? | 你们知道自己有多幸运吗 |
| [09:49] | You could have broken your necks. | 你们差点就把脖子扭断了 |
| [09:50] | We took precautions. | 我们做了保护措施 |
| [09:57] | You flew off the roof! | 你们从房顶上飞下去了 |
| [10:00] | In a shopping cart! | 还坐着购物车 |
| [10:05] | What precautions? | 你们做了什么保护措施 |
| [10:06] | We were planning to land in the ocean. | 我们计划是要飞到海里去的 |
| [10:12] | You missed it by 100 yards. | 你们离海还有一百码呢 |
| [10:16] | It’s not an exact science, dad. | 这种事很难那么精确的 爸 |
| [10:19] | Okay, okay. Let’s not dicker over the details. | 好吧 好吧 我们不要纠结细节了 |
| [10:23] | He said, “dicker” . | 他说”纠结”耶 |
| [10:25] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [10:26] | Okay, okay. I am serious. Okay? | 好了 好了 我是很严肃的 知道吗 |
| [10:28] | This Dumbass thing stops right now. | 这个《傻蛋搞怪秀》必须马上停止 |
| [10:30] | You’re the one who told me I should follow my dreams. | 是你跟我说我该追寻自己的梦想的 |
| [10:32] | I meant dreams like “doctor” or “lawyer” , | 我是指像当”医生”或是”律师”这类的梦想 |
| [10:35] | not “crash test dummy” . | 而不是去当”碰撞测试的人偶” |
| [10:39] | “Dr. Jacob Harper”. I like the sound of that. | “雅各布·哈勃医生” 听起来不错 |
| [10:43] | Hey, doc, what’s this on my nutsack? Is it infected? | 医生 我阴囊长的这个是什么 感染了吗 |
| [10:48] | Yes. It seems we’ll have to perform a nutsackectomy. | 是的 看来我们要给你做阴囊切除术了 |
| [10:53] | Will you two quit | 你们俩能不能 |
| [10:55] | with the cockamamie babble | 不要一直说这些猥琐的东西 |
| [10:58] | and focus on what I am trying to tell you? | 好好听听我说的话 |
| [11:00] | He said, “cockamamie”. | 他说”猥琐”耶 |
| [11:05] | He said, “focus” . | 他还让咱”好好听”呢 |
| [11:17] | Oh, what’s to become of my son? | 天啊 我儿子以后可怎么办呀 |
| [11:22] | Don’t worry, Alan. | 别担心 艾伦 |
| [11:24] | There’ll always be carnivals. | 再差还能进马戏团 |
| [11:28] | I suppose. | 我想是吧 |
| [11:29] | So, how’d it go with Mr. and Mrs. Manfred Quinn? | 去曼弗雷德·昆恩夫妇家的拜访顺利吗 |
| [11:33] | I never met him. Rose told me to get lost. | 我没见到他 罗斯叫我躲她远点 |
| [11:35] | Wow. That’s got to sting a bit. | 这还真伤人 |
| [11:38] | Yeah, but I understand. | 是呀 但是我可以理解 |
| [11:40] | She’s happy now, and doesn’t want me screwing it up. | 她现在很幸福 不想我去搅局 |
| [11:42] | You still love her, don’t you? | 你还爱她 对吧 |
| [11:46] | I guess I do. | 我想是吧 |
| [11:48] | Funny how these things turn out, isn’t it? | 事情最终变成这样还真是搞笑呀 对吧 |
| [11:51] | I mean, eight, nine years ago, | 我的意思是 八九年前 |
| [11:53] | she was just a crazy one-night stand | 她只是一个疯婆子 跟你一夜情过后 |
| [11:56] | who ended up stalking you. | 开始跟踪你 |
| [12:00] | All you wanted to do was get rid of her. | 你当时费尽心思只想摆脱她 |
| [12:02] | But the years go by, | 但几年以后 |
| [12:03] | and stalking turns to friendship. | 跟踪狂变成了朋友 |
| [12:09] | Friendship turns to love. | 友情逐渐变成了爱情 |
| [12:12] | But it’s too late. | 但是一切都太迟了 |
| [12:14] | She marries another man, and she’s lost to you forever. | 她另嫁他人 永远离开了你的世界 |
| [12:19] | Boy, that would make a great movie, wouldn’t it? | 这情节拍成电影肯定很棒 对吧 |
| [12:22] | Yeah, great. | 是啊 够棒的 |
| [12:24] | Want to write it with me? | 想跟我一起写剧本吗 |
| [12:26] | What?! No! | 什么 才不要呢 |
| [12:28] | Well, don’t go stealing it. | 好吧 但你不许偷我的剧本 |
| [12:32] | I mean, you know, | 我是说 |
| [12:33] | it’s your life, but it’s my idea. | 虽然这是发生在你身上的事 但剧本是我的主意 |
| [12:37] | Oh, how’s this for a title? | 电影叫这个名字怎么样 |
| [12:38] | Look Who’s Stalking. | 美女跟踪狂 |
| [12:42] | Meet the Stalkers. | 跟踪狂的故事 |
| [12:48] | Avatart. | 阿凡跟踪狂[仿《阿凡达》] |
| [12:51] | Are you done? | 你说完了吗 |
| [12:52] | Yeah. | 说完了 |
| [12:54] | Although I do think it has real franchise opportunities. | 不过我真觉得这故事有卖点 |
| [12:57] | Could be a sitcom. | 可以拍成情景喜剧 |
| [12:59] | Maybe not on a major network, but, you know, TBS, TNT. | 也许不能放在大型电视台上 但是TBS TNT这类应该没问题 |
| [13:06] | I Love Looney. | 叫《我爱上了疯子》也不错 |
| [13:11] | Where you going? | 你要去哪 |
| [13:13] | I was just spitballin’ here. | 我只是”随便说说”而已 |
| [13:20] | I said, “spitballin'” . | 我居然会说”随便说说” |
| [13:25] | Oh, God, I want to die. | 天啊 我好想死 |
| [13:56] | That has got to be the worst-looking toupee | 这绝对是我见过最丑的 |
| [13:58] | I’ve ever seen. | 男式假发了 |
| [14:01] | What the hell are you doing here?! | 你在这干吗 |
| [14:02] | You scared the hell out of me. | 你吓死我了 |
| [14:05] | Are you crazy, climbing up on my deck, | 你疯了吗 居然爬上我家阳台 |
| [14:07] | snooping around like this?! | 像这样到处偷窥吗 |
| [14:10] | I need to talk to you. | 我要和你谈谈 |
| [14:12] | Well, I can’t talk to you. | 我没法和你谈 |
| [14:14] | Manny is right inside. | 曼尼就在里面 |
| [14:15] | – I love you. – It’s a little late for that. | -我爱你 -太迟了 |
| [14:17] | I’m sorry. I realize now, Rose, I can’t live without you. | 罗斯 对不起 我才意识到 没你我不能活 |
| [14:20] | It doesn’t matter what you realize. | 你意识到了也没用 |
| [14:21] | I’m married now. | 我已婚了 |
| [14:23] | Oh, please, Rose. | 求你了 罗斯 |
| [14:24] | Oh, God, Charlie, | 天哪 查理 |
| [14:25] | why are you doing this to me? It’s so unfair. | 你这是干什么 太不公平了 |
| [14:27] | I’m begging you. Just talk to me. | 我求你了 只是谈谈而已 |
| [14:31] | All right. | 那好吧 |
| [14:33] | Manny has to go back into the office to do some work. | 曼尼要去办公室处理点事情 |
| [14:36] | – Come back in an hour. – Thank you. | -一小时后回来 -谢谢你 |
| [14:38] | – But just to talk. – Of course. | -只是谈谈 -当然 |
| [14:39] | And can you bring me some butter brickle ice cream? | 能给我带份黄油脆皮冰激凌么 |
| [14:42] | What? | 什么 |
| [14:43] | And marshmallow fluff and sprinkles. | 还要撒上棉花软糖和脆屑 |
| [14:44] | Sure, whatever you need. | 没问题 啥都行 |
| [14:45] | Chocolate sprinkles, not the multicolored kind. | 是巧克力脆屑的 不是混合色的那种 |
| [14:47] | – Fine. – I don’t know why they even make those. | -行 -搞不懂他们生产那种干嘛 |
| [14:50] | – Okay. – Okay. | -好吧 -恩 |
| [14:51] | I’ll see you later. | 待会儿见 |
| [14:55] | Son of a bitch! How do you do that? | 他奶奶的 你是怎么做到的 |
| [14:57] | Don’t lock your knees. | 别绷紧关节 |
| [15:06] | Good news, Manny. | 曼尼 好消息哦 |
| [15:08] | We’re getting ice cream. | 我们有冰激凌吃啦 |
| [15:16] | You ready for some more beans? | 准备好没 再来点豆子咯 |
| [15:18] | Bring it on. | 放马过来吧 |
| [15:22] | So, I’m thinking we call this stunt “Fart Rocket.” | 我在想 不如我们就叫它”臭屁火箭”吧 |
| [15:26] | Nah, I thinke need to go with something more intellectual. | 不要 要用个高智商的名字嘛 |
| [15:30] | How about “The Dumbass Assblaster?” | “傻逼屁屁冲击波”咋样 |
| [15:33] | No, you can’t use two “asses” in a row. | 不行 不能连续用”屁股”了 |
| [15:36] | It’s… redumbnant. | 有点…”复重”了 |
| [15:39] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [15:42] | What’s going on? | 你们又在搞什么 |
| [15:43] | I’m just making Eldridge something to eat. | 就是给艾尔德里奇做饭吃啊 |
| [15:45] | Really? | 是吗 |
| [15:48] | Yes, I was peckerish. | 是啊 我都”机场路路”了 |
| [15:53] | You mean peckish. | 是”饥肠辘辘”吧 |
| [15:55] | Fine. If you want to dicker. | 好吧 你非要这样”讨价还价”也行 |
| [15:59] | Good one, dude. | 真有你的 兄弟 |
| [16:05] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [16:07] | What’s in the bag? | 装的是什么 |
| [16:09] | Butter brickle ice cream | 黄油脆皮冰激凌 |
| [16:10] | with marshmallow fluff and chocolate sprinkles. | 棉花软糖和巧克力脆屑口味的 |
| [16:13] | Oh, Charlie, no. | 查理 不是吧 |
| [16:15] | What?! | 怎么啦 |
| [16:17] | “What?!” | 还”怎么啦” |
| [16:19] | Only one person on earth puts chocolate sprinkles | 这世上 只有一个人吃黄油脆皮冰激凌 |
| [16:21] | and marshmallow fluff on butter brickle ice cream. | 会撒上棉花软糖和巧克力脆屑 |
| [16:23] | Congratulations, Sherlock. | 恭喜你 大侦探呐 |
| [16:25] | You cracked the case. | 被你说中了 |
| [16:26] | She is a married woman, Charlie. | 查理 可人家是已婚人士了 |
| [16:28] | I can’t help it. I love her. | 没办法 我爱她 |
| [16:30] | Oh, please. You didn’t start loving her | 别假了 你是看得不到她了 |
| [16:32] | until you found out you couldn’t have her. | 才开始爱上人家的 |
| [16:33] | So? That doesn’t make it… not love. | 那又怎样 这就不算…爱啦 |
| [16:37] | But what if her husband catches you? | 她丈夫发现了咋办 |
| [16:39] | Then he shoots me, and you can have my house and my car. | 大不了他杀了我 我的车和房都归你咯 |
| [16:41] | Go to her, Charlie. She’s waiting. | 查理 去吧 她在等着呢 |
| [16:51] | Son of a bitch! | 妈的 |
| [16:56] | Dude, don’t waste it. | 兄弟 别浪费啊 |
| [16:58] | Squeeze it in! | 把屁夹回去 |
| [17:13] | Not as easy as it looks, is it? | 不是那么轻松的吧 |
| [17:16] | No. | 的确 |
| [17:17] | Is your husband gone? | 你丈夫走没 |
| [17:19] | He just left. We’re alone. | 刚走 就剩咋俩了 |
| [17:20] | Oh, great. Wait. | 太好了 别 |
| [17:22] | We agreed, just talking. | 我们说好的 只是谈谈 |
| [17:24] | Right, right, right. Just talking. Let’s talk. | 是啊 是啊 只说话 那说吧 |
| [17:26] | Do you know what Manny said to me right before he left? | 你知道曼尼走之前跟我说什么了吗 |
| [17:29] | Um… “I love you, | 厄…”我爱你 |
| [17:30] | “but it’s okay to have an affair with Charlie, | “但你要跟查理有一腿我也不介意 |
| [17:33] | ’cause he’s a swell guy and I’m secretly gay”? | ‘因为他是个好人 而我却是个没出柜的基佬 |
| [17:35] | No. | 不是 |
| [17:37] | He said, in the whole world, | 他说 这世上 |
| [17:39] | I’m the only one who can move him. | 我是唯一一个可以打动(移动)他的人 |
| [17:42] | Like I said, gay. | 被我说中了 基佬 |
| [17:44] | How can I betray a man like that? | 我怎么可以背叛这样的人呢 |
| [17:48] | I can think of several ways. | 办法多得是啊 |
| [17:49] | You on top, you on bottom, everybody facing the TV. | 你可以在上 在下 大家都看得见电视 |
| [17:52] | Charlie. | 查理 |
| [17:54] | Who moves you, Rose? Him or me? | 谁打动了你 是我还是他 |
| [17:57] | I don’t know. I’m confused. | 不知道 我也乱了 |
| [17:59] | I love Manny. | 我爱曼尼 |
| [18:00] | But you and I are soul mates, like Romeo and Juliet. | 但是我们是知己啊 就像罗密欧与朱丽叶 |
| [18:02] | Really? Did Romeo ever chew through the ropes | 是吗 朱丽叶只是想给罗密欧生日惊喜时 |
| [18:05] | holding him to a radiator in a motel outside of Bakersfield | 他有必要顺着拴在暖气片上的绳索 |
| [18:08] | when Juliet was just trying to give him a birthday surprise? | 从贝尔克菲尔德外的旅店逃走吗 |
| [18:11] | Birthday surprise? You were going to brand me. | 生日惊喜 你是想给我烙个印吧 |
| [18:13] | Branding is the new piercing, Charlie. | 查理 烙印可是新型的打孔技术啊 |
| [18:16] | Fine. Pierce me, brand me, do anything you want. | 行 给我烙吧 打孔吧 都随你 |
| [18:20] | – Anything? – It’s just an expression. | -都随我吗 -我只是个比方 |
| [18:24] | Give me another chance, Rose. | 罗斯 再给我个机会吧 |
| [18:25] | No. It’s wrong. | 不行 这样不好 |
| [18:28] | Fine. You just say the word, and I’ll go. | 那这样 你发话 我立马走人 |
| [18:33] | Time’s up. | 时间到 |
| [18:37] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [18:38] | I love you, too. | 我也爱你 |
| [18:40] | You know what this means, don’t you? | 你知道我们在做什么吧 |
| [18:42] | I think so. | 知道 |
| [18:44] | You’re going to have to kill Manny. | 你得把曼尼杀了 |
| [18:46] | What?! | 什么 |
| [18:49] | Kidding. | 开玩笑呢 |
| [18:50] | Just wanted to see how far you’d go. | 只是试探下你呢 |
| [18:56] | Can I tell you something, Rose? | 罗斯 告诉你个事吧 |
| [18:58] | Anything. | 你说 |
| [19:00] | I’ve never felt happier and more at peace | 我之前从未感受过 |
| [19:03] | than I do at this very moment. | 此刻的愉悦与平静 |
| [19:04] | Who’s being a little gay now? | 刚才还说谁是基佬了 |
| [19:21] | Oh. It’s a text from Manny. | 曼尼来短信了 |
| [19:22] | He’s on his way home. You have to go. | 他要回来了 你快走吧 |
| [19:26] | When can I see you again? | 我们什么时候再见 |
| [19:28] | You can’t. This was a mistake. | 不见了 这本来就是个错误 |
| [19:30] | How can you say that? | 你怎么这么说 |
| [19:31] | Charlie, I love my husband. | 查理 我爱我丈夫 |
| [19:33] | Forget Manny. Run away with me. | 别想曼尼了 跟我私奔吧 |
| [19:35] | You don’t mean that. | 你说笑吧 |
| [19:36] | I do. | 我认真的 |
| [19:37] | Come on, Charlie. | 别说了 |
| [19:38] | If you had me to yourself, | 如果我跟了你 |
| [19:39] | you’d be tired of me within a year. | 不到一年你就厌烦我了 |
| [19:41] | Then you can go back to Manny. Everybody wins. | 那你到时候再来找曼尼啊 双赢哦 |
| [19:46] | Go. | 走吧 |
| [19:48] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [19:57] | Oh, aren’t you the naughty boy who likes to watch? | 你真是个爱偷窥的淘气鬼啊 |
| [20:07] | Hurry up, dude. | 搞快啊 兄弟 |
| [20:08] | I’m about to blow. Hang on. | 我的屁要炸出来了 |
| [20:12] | Hi. I’m Jake Harper, | 你好 我是杰克·哈勃 |
| [20:14] | and you’re about to witness | 你即将要看到的是 |
| [20:15] | a little something we like to call… | 我们为您呈现的… |
| [20:18] | “Fumes of Fury.” | “愤怒的臭屁” |
| [20:21] | Let’s do this thing. All right. | 开始吧 好 |
| [20:23] | Remember, if for some reason | 记好了 如果不知咋滴 |
| [20:24] | you don’t reach the ocean, just tuck and roll. | 没掉进海里的话 就蜷缩着向前滚 |
| [20:26] | Okay, just hurry up. | 好的 搞快点 |
| [20:27] | All right. Let ‘er rip. | 好戏开始了 |
| [20:36] | Dumbasses. | 两傻逼 |
| [20:41] | I can’t believe nothing happened. | 简直不敢相信 啥也没有 |
| [20:44] | I wouldn’t say that. I think I crapped my pants. | 我看不是吧 裤子多半被我撑破了 |