时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:03] | Morning. | 早上好 |
[00:04] | Morning. | 早上好 |
[00:07] | We got Maple Loops. | 咱家有枫糖甜甜圈 |
[00:10] | It’s got oats and corns and wheat | 燕麦 玉米和小麦 |
[00:12] | It’s the sweetest breakfast treat | 香甜早餐真不赖 |
[00:13] | It’s Maple, maple, maaaaple-icious! | 枫糖圈圈我最爱 |
[00:18] | Not a Maple Loops fan? | 看来你没什么兴趣 |
[00:19] | Oh. Oh, no, I’m sorry. | 不好意思啊 |
[00:21] | It’s just, uh, threw me. | 我放空是因为 |
[00:22] | My, uh, my brother wrote that jingle. | 这首广告歌是我哥写的 |
[00:24] | Get out of here– he wrote Maple Loops? | 你开玩笑呢 他写的枫塘甜甜圈之歌 |
[00:26] | Yeah, yeah, he wrote lots of jingles– | 是的 他写了很多广告歌 |
[00:28] | Maple Loops, Granny’s Big Fudge Nuggets. | 他写了枫塘甜甜圈 祖母家的金砖巧克力 |
[00:30] | Granny’s Big Fudge Nuggets? | 祖母家的金砖巧克力 |
[00:32] | From the magic chocolate mountain | 在神奇的巧克力山谷 |
[00:34] | There’s a secret chocolate mine | 有一个神奇的巧克力矿 |
[00:36] | With Granny’s Big Fudge Nuggets and a taste | 有祖母家秘制的金砖巧克力 |
[00:38] | That’s oh so fine. | 那是真正的好滋味 |
[00:41] | Wow, that’s a good memory. | 记忆力不错啊 |
[00:44] | What else, what else? | 他还写了别的什么 |
[00:45] | Uh, well, there was Hammerstein Beer. | 汉默斯坦啤酒 |
[00:47] | The girls look prettier with Hammerstein Beer | 女孩喝了汉默斯坦啤酒后更美丽 |
[00:49] | You like what you see, you like what you hear | 你看到什么都快乐 你听到什么都欢喜 |
[00:51] | Grab a cold frosty mug and pull her near | 冰啤酒让她相隔不再千万里 |
[00:53] | ‘Cause the girls look prettier | 因为女孩喝了汉默斯坦啤酒 |
[00:54] | With Hammerstein Beer. | 看起来会更美丽 |
[00:58] | I had no idea your brother was a freaking genius. | 真难以想象你哥是如此的天才啊 |
[01:01] | Well, he managed to live 44 years | 他的理想就是活到44岁 |
[01:03] | screwing everything that moved | 上遍所有两条腿的 |
[01:04] | without catching a fatal venereal disease. | 还不用患上致命的性病 |
[01:09] | I suppose there’s a form of genius in that. | 我觉得这也是天才的一种 |
[01:13] | You don’t talk about him very much. | 你不怎么讲他 |
[01:14] | Were you guys close? | 你们关系好吗 |
[01:15] | Oh, yeah, we were, we were inseparable. | 我们关系很好 |
[01:16] | I mean, why do you think we lived together for so long? | 要不我怎么在他家住了这么久 |
[01:18] | Well, Berta says it’s ’cause you’re a parasitic leech. | 波塔说因为你是个寄生虫 |
[01:21] | Admittedly, that was one of his pet names for me, | 这是她对我的昵称 |
[01:25] | but not true. | 我可不是那种人 |
[01:25] | H-He loved me and I loved him. | 我爱他 他爱我 |
[01:28] | Oh, oh, you remember this one? Uh… | 你还记得这首吗 |
[01:29] | Bad stuff grows in the cracks of your toes | 坏东西长在你的脚趾缝里 |
[01:31] | But nobody knows | 但是没人晓得 |
[01:32] | Like Toezene. | 用了脚气灵一切病痛归无形 |
[01:34] | Yeah, he said I inspired that one. | 我哥说是我给了他灵感 |
[01:38] | You miss him, don’t you? | 你是不是很想念他 |
[01:40] | Oh, of course I miss him. | 我是很想念他 |
[01:41] | I don’t miss the smell of vomit and lubricant | 虽然我对清晨的呕吐物和润滑油的味道 |
[01:44] | in the morning… | 没什么好感 |
[01:46] | but I-I do miss him. | 但我的确很想他 |
[01:48] | Oh, what about this one? | 这首歌呢 |
[01:50] | I’m a pepper, he’s a pepper | 我是胡椒 他也是 |
[01:52] | She’s a pepper, we’re a pepper | 她是胡椒 我们都是 |
[01:54] | Wouldn’t you like to be a pepper, too? | 你是不是也想当胡椒 |
[01:55] | Uh, uh, no, Charlie didn’t do that one. | 这首不是查理写的 |
[01:57] | Oh, it’s not that catchy anyway. | 确实不是朗朗上口 |
[02:10] | It’s got | 它有 |
[02:13] | Oats and corn and wheat | 燕麦 玉米和小麦 |
[02:17] | It’s the sweetest breakfast treat | 香甜早餐真不赖 |
[02:23] | – It’s… – It’s… | 枫糖 |
[02:25] | Maple, maple, maaaaple-icious! | 圈圈我最爱 |
[02:31] | Oh, sorry. You were being sad, weren’t you? | 你现在好伤心吧 不好意思了 |
[02:35] | A little. | 有点吧 |
[02:38] | No, I-I can’t tell you how many hours | 我都不记得多少次了 |
[02:40] | I watched my brother playing this piano | 我哥在这里弹着钢琴 |
[02:43] | or passed out under it. | 有的时候就醉倒在钢琴下 |
[02:46] | One time I walked in and he was having sex on top of it. | 还有一次我进来的时候 他在钢琴上云雨 |
[02:50] | You can see where the young lady’s ass print | 你还能在这里看见 |
[02:52] | didn’t quite wax out. | 那个小妞的臀印 |
[02:56] | Maybe he should have used a coaster. | 也许应该用杯垫 |
[03:04] | New business idea– ass coasters. | 新的发明 臀垫 |
[03:09] | We’re here to pick up a piano. | 我们来拖钢琴的 |
[03:11] | Oh, right, I, I forgot. | 哎呀我忘记了 |
[03:18] | Hold on. | 稍等 |
[03:25] | So I imagine you’re anxious | 我觉得吧 |
[03:29] | to get rid of some of these | 你是非常想摆脱这件让你痛苦的 |
[03:31] | painful memories. | 纪念物吧 |
[03:32] | No, are you kidding me? | 你开玩笑吧 |
[03:33] | I mean, this piano is practically | 这钢琴是我仅有的 |
[03:35] | all I have left of my brother, | 对我哥的回忆 |
[03:36] | except for, you know, all the DNA | 除了他留在 |
[03:39] | he left on the couch and… | 沙发上的 |
[03:42] | on the floor and… | 地板上的 |
[03:45] | on the walls and on the stairs, | 墙上的和楼梯上的DNA |
[03:47] | but I’m not going to clone him, so the piano’s pretty much it. | 但是我也没打算克隆他 所以钢琴就够了 |
[03:52] | -Okay, we got a problem then. -How so? | -那我们就有个问题了 -咋啦 |
[03:56] | Well, you know how I’m redecorating the house? | 你知道我打算重新装修房子 |
[03:59] | I donated the piano to a music school for underprivileged kids. | 我把钢琴捐献给一所音乐学校的贫困儿童了 |
[04:02] | What? | 什么 |
[04:03] | How could you be so selfish? | 你怎么这么自私 |
[04:05] | I’m sorry, I’ll just tell the kids | 对不起 我去告诉孩子们 |
[04:08] | they have to keep practicing on a painted slab of wood. | 让他们用喷了漆的木头钢琴练习吧 |
[04:11] | No, no, you’re right. | 对不起 我错了 |
[04:13] | This, this should go to someone | 这架钢琴的确应该 |
[04:15] | who will benefit from it. | 给那些有真正需要的人 |
[04:17] | You sure? | 你确定吗 |
[04:18] | Yeah, yeah, let me, uh, let me just get | 是的我确定 |
[04:21] | Charlie’s personal stuff out of here. | 让我把查理的私人物品拿走 |
[04:23] | Oh, oh, here’s some of his unfinished music. | 这里有没完成的歌 |
[04:27] | Uh, panties. | 小裤裤 |
[04:30] | Panties… panties. | 小裤裤 还是小裤裤 |
[04:35] | Water pipe. | 水烟筒 |
[04:38] | Oh, vibrator. | 振动器 |
[04:42] | So we’re talking songs, | 那就是歌谱 |
[04:44] | thongs, bongs, and schlongs. | 丁字裤 水烟枪和跳蛋 |
[04:48] | If he had an autobiography, that would be the title. | 如果我哥有本自传 可以当书名 |
[04:53] | You know, there was a time | 曾经有段时间看见这些东西 |
[04:54] | when I would have found these things disgusting. | 我会感觉很恶心 |
[04:56] | And now? | 那现在呢 |
[04:57] | There’s a certain wistfulness | 我在反感中 |
[04:59] | mixed in with my revulsion. | 包含着一丝悲催的感觉 |
[05:02] | Ready to go here? | 能拖走了吗 |
[05:04] | Uh, yeah, come on in. | 可以了 |
[05:05] | It’s over here. | 在这里 |
[05:07] | Thanks, we would’ve had trouble finding it. | 谢啦 这钢琴是有多小啊 |
[05:11] | I changed my mind! | 我改主意了 |
[05:13] | You can’t have him! | 你们不许带走它 |
[05:14] | Okay, okay, Alan, Alan, | 淡定 艾伦 淡定 |
[05:16] | what about the kids? | 那些孩子怎么办 |
[05:17] | Screw ’em! | 让他们去死 |
[05:21] | We’re gonna need another minute. | 还得再等一下 |
[05:23] | Oh, Charlie, why? | 查理 为什么 |
[05:25] | Why, why, why, why, why?! | 为神马 为神马 为神马 |
[05:30] | Why?! | 为神马 |
[05:38] | White people. | 白人呐 |
[05:43] | Hello, Dad? | 有人吗 老爸 |
[05:45] | Right here. | 我在这儿 |
[05:52] | Something’s different. | 好像有点不太一样 |
[05:57] | Your uncle’s piano is gone. | 你伯伯的钢琴没了 |
[05:59] | Oh, yeah. | 对哦 |
[06:01] | Were we robbed? | 我们遭劫了吗 |
[06:03] | Yes, we’re the latest victims of the piano thieves | 对 咱们是钢琴窃贼的最新受害者 |
[06:07] | that have been plaguing the beach. | 这贼一直在海边作案 |
[06:10] | Damn, they got my good bong. | 该死 我的水烟枪没了 |
[06:14] | What? | 什么 |
[06:16] | Oh, man, that is so wrong. | 我是说天呐 太没天理了 |
[06:18] | No, it wasn’t a robbery. | 不是 我们没遭劫 |
[06:22] | Walden’s redecorating. | 沃顿要重新装修 |
[06:24] | Cool. | 好吧 |
[06:25] | You know, for some reason, | 你知道吗 不知怎么的 |
[06:28] | your uncle’s death is really starting to hit me. | 你伯伯的死真的对我打击很大 |
[06:30] | I mean, I don’t know if I was in de… | 我不知道自己是不是 |
[06:31] | What are you doing? | 你这是在干嘛 |
[06:33] | Um, a toast to Uncle Charlie? | 呃 敬查理伯伯一瓶 |
[06:35] | Nice try. | 想得美 |
[06:37] | You’re not the only one who misses him, you know. | 又不是只有你才想他 |
[06:40] | Really? | 是吗 |
[06:41] | You never talk about it. | 没听你说起过 |
[06:43] | I need a beer to loosen up. | 我要喝一瓶才能敞开心扉 |
[06:48] | Not gonna happen. | 不可能的事 |
[06:49] | Now, come on, talk to me. | 来 跟我说说 |
[06:51] | I don’t know, Uncle Charlie just never treated me | 我不知道 查理伯伯从来不会 |
[06:54] | like I was some stupid kid. | 把我当蠢孩子看 |
[06:57] | That’s nice. | 这是好事 |
[06:59] | He treated me more like a stupid person. | 他比较把我当蠢人看 |
[07:03] | Well, I know he loved you. | 我知道他生前很爱你 |
[07:06] | Then how come he didn’t leave me anything? | 那他怎么什么东西都没留给我 |
[07:08] | Well, you don’t measure love by things. | 爱是不能用物质来衡量的 |
[07:11] | I disagree. | 我不同意 |
[07:13] | Nothing says “I love you” like a Mercedes CL600. | 一辆梅赛德斯奔驰CL600比我爱你有分量多了 |
[07:17] | Hey, the Mercedes was leased. | 喂 那辆梅赛德斯奔驰是租的 |
[07:19] | And is that all your uncle meant to you– a nice car? | 而且 你伯伯在你心中就这地位 一辆豪车? |
[07:22] | Of course not– I learned a lot from him. | 当然不是 我从他身上学到很多东西的 |
[07:24] | Like what? | 比如呢 |
[07:25] | Well, let’s see. | 我想想 |
[07:26] | If it doesn’t fit, don’t force it. | (套套)要是戴不上 就不要硬扯 |
[07:33] | It’s always better to say sorry afterwards | 事后道歉永远要比 |
[07:36] | than ask for permission before. | 事前征求同意强 |
[07:39] | And if it’s burning, bleeding, or oozing, | 如果(鸡鸡)发热 流血 渗出 |
[07:41] | go to see a doctor ASAP. | 就得去看医生 而且要”尽快” |
[07:46] | Oh, God. | 老天呐 |
[07:49] | But probably the most important thing I learned | 不过我学到最重要的一点可能是 |
[07:51] | is that by the time I’m his age, | 等我到了他那个岁数 |
[07:52] | I want to be married and have a family. | 我要结婚 成家立业 |
[07:54] | Really? | 真的吗 |
[07:56] | Yeah, Uncle Charlie was very lonely, Dad. | 真的 老爸 查理伯伯其实挺孤独的 |
[07:59] | Yeah, yeah, he was. | 是啊 他是挺孤独的 |
[08:02] | And I don’t want to be like him. | 我可不想以后像他那样 |
[08:05] | Well, good for you. | 你这么想是对的 |
[08:07] | Of course, I don’t want to be like you either. | 当然 我也不想像你这样 |
[08:13] | Even better. | 这么想就更对了 |
[08:15] | By the way, do you have a number for this Dr. Asap? | 对了 你有没有那个尽快医生的电话 |
[08:20] | He’s not listed anywhere. | 我在号码本上查不到 |
[08:22] | What? | 什么 |
[08:24] | I mean, I don’t need him right now, | 我也不是现在就要找他 |
[08:25] | but I want to have him on speed dial, so if I do, | 我想把他加到快速拨号上 要找他时 |
[08:28] | I can get him as soon as possible. | 我才能尽快联系到他 |
[08:32] | ASAP? | 尽快啊 |
[08:34] | Yeah, him. | 对 就是他 |
[08:39] | A-S-A-P? | 尽快就是尽快啊 |
[08:41] | I know how to spell it, Dad, I’m not an idiot. | 我知道怎么读 老爸 我不是傻子 |
[08:48] | Can I get you another appletini, Alan? | 再给你来一杯苹果马丁尼吗 艾伦 |
[08:51] | Yes. | 对 |
[08:52] | Uh, no, uh, | 不 不要那个 |
[08:53] | make it a bourbon. | 给我来一杯波旁威士忌 |
[08:55] | Since when do you drink bourbon? | 你什么时候喝起波旁威士忌了 |
[08:57] | It’s what my brother drank. | 我哥哥以前就喝这个 |
[08:58] | Yeah, but your brother knew how to drink. | 我知道 可你哥哥知道怎么品这酒 |
[09:01] | Hey, I watched him for years. | 我看了他好几年了 |
[09:02] | You don’t think I picked up a few things? | 你以为我就没学到几招吗 |
[09:04] | Maybe. | 可能吧 |
[09:05] | It certainly wasn’t women or checks. | 但绝对没学会泡妞和结账 |
[09:10] | Ah, there you are. | 你在这儿呢 |
[09:12] | Oh, how’d you find me? | 你怎么知道来这找我 |
[09:13] | Well, you’re depressed, | 你不高兴啊 |
[09:16] | and when you’re depressed, you drink, | 你不高兴就会想喝酒 |
[09:17] | and when you drink, you come here. | 你想喝酒就会来这里 |
[09:19] | If you were a fat guy, I would have gone | 你要是叮当猫 我当然会去 |
[09:20] | to where they serve pies. | 卖铜锣烧的地方找你 |
[09:23] | Hi there. | 你好帅哥 |
[09:26] | What can I get you? | 想来点什么 |
[09:27] | I will have a ginger ale, please. | 一杯姜汁汽水 谢谢 |
[09:29] | One ginger ale, coming right up. | 一杯姜汁汽水 马上来 |
[09:31] | Uh, I-I’m still waiting on that bourbon. | 喂 我还在等那杯波旁威士忌呢 |
[09:33] | I’ve only got two hands. | 没看到我只有一双手嘛 |
[09:36] | Here you go. | 汽水来了 |
[09:38] | Can I get you anything else– | 你还想要别的吗 |
[09:39] | slice of lime, peanuts, breakfast in bed? | 一片酸橙 一碟花生 要不一顿床上早餐 |
[09:43] | Thank you, I’m good. | 谢谢 这就行了 |
[09:45] | Oh, I’m betting you are. | 我也觉得你很有型 |
[09:51] | Don’t be clearing your throat at me. | 别对我哼哼戚戚的 |
[09:55] | Here. | 给你 |
[09:56] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[09:59] | She’s nice. | 她人真好 |
[10:01] | To you, sure. | 对你当然好了 |
[10:02] | You live in a world of nice. | 你就生活在一个美好世界里 |
[10:04] | That’s because I’m nice to people, | 那是因为我对别人好 |
[10:05] | and they’re nice back to me. | 他们也对我好 |
[10:06] | No, it’s because you’re tall, rich, and good-looking. | 不 那是因为你高大威猛 帅气有钱 |
[10:08] | And nice. | 而且对别人好 |
[10:11] | Oh, please, that had nothing to do with it. | 放屁 跟这没一点关系 |
[10:13] | I mean, take my brother. | 就拿我哥哥来说吧 |
[10:14] | He wasn’t nice, but he had money and looks, | 他对人就不好 可他有钱又有款 |
[10:17] | so he always got a free pass. | 所以他总是左右逢源 |
[10:18] | Men wanted to be him, and women wanted to be with him. | 男人想变成他 女人想勾搭他 |
[10:21] | Actually, a few of the men wanted to be with him, too. | 其实 有几个男人也想勾搭他 |
[10:24] | A couple of ’em actually succeeded, | 有两个还真得手了 |
[10:25] | but that’s a story for another day. | 不过这有点扯远了 |
[10:27] | Well, cheers. | 好吧 干杯 |
[10:32] | Hi. | 嗨 |
[10:35] | Hi. | 嗨 |
[10:36] | Who’s your friend? | 介绍一下你朋友 |
[10:40] | He’s a bloodthirsty psychopath | 他是个嗜血的心理变态 |
[10:42] | with a panel van and a rag soaked in chloroform. | 开一辆货车 带着浸了氯仿的破布 |
[10:44] | Hi, I’m Alicia. | 你好 我是艾丽西娅 |
[10:47] | I’m Walden. | 我是沃顿 |
[10:56] | And then, after he kills the women, | 他杀了这些女人之后 |
[10:58] | he peels off their faces | 就把她们的皮剥下来 |
[11:00] | and uses them to make hand puppets. | 用这些皮做布袋木偶 |
[11:03] | – Good night, Alan. – Good night, Alan. | -晚安 艾伦 -晚安 艾伦 |
[11:05] | Okay, see you in the Dumpster. | 好吧 垃圾箱里再见 |
[11:10] | Man. | 老天 |
[11:12] | I couldn’t score a woman like that if my semen cured cancer. | 就算我的精液能治癌 我也泡不到妞 |
[11:24] | Aw, Charlie. | 哦 查理 |
[11:31] | I’ll bet you’re up there watching | 你现在肯定在上面冷眼旁观 |
[11:33] | and laughing your ass off. | 笑得人仰马翻了 |
[11:36] | You left a big hole down here, buddy. | 兄弟 你在我心里留了一个大洞啊 |
[11:39] | And a lot of little ones. | 还有很多小洞洞 |
[11:45] | I-I never told you this while you were still alive, but… | 你生前我从来没有跟你说过 |
[11:51] | I would’ve given anything to be like you. | 我愿意放弃一切变成你 |
[11:54] | Even for a day. | 就算一天也行 |
[12:00] | Hey there, big guy. | 嗨 大家伙 |
[12:01] | Where’d you come from? | 你从哪冒出来的啊 |
[12:03] | Douglas! | 道格拉斯 |
[12:04] | Douglas, where are you, boy? | 道格拉斯 你去哪了 宝贝 |
[12:06] | Up here. | 在这呢 |
[12:08] | Oh… pretty mommy. | 哇 漂亮妈咪 |
[12:11] | There you are, Douglas. | 道格拉斯 终于找到你了 |
[12:13] | I’m so sorry. I hope he didn’t bother you. | 对不起 我希望它没有打扰到你 |
[12:15] | Oh, not at all. This is my favorite kind of dog. | 完全没有 我最喜欢这种狗 |
[12:17] | Oh, you like labs? | 你也喜欢拉布拉多狗 |
[12:18] | No, I like dogs that fetch me beautiful women. | 不 我喜欢能帮我认识漂亮女人的狗 |
[12:21] | Cute. | 嘴真甜 |
[12:22] | Is this your house? | 这是你家吗 |
[12:24] | Uh, not exactly. | 不完全是 |
[12:25] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
[12:26] | I mean, after we fall in love | 我的意思是 如果咱俩恋爱了 |
[12:28] | and get married, it’ll be ours. | 结婚以后 这就是咱俩的家 |
[12:30] | Wow, you don’t waste any time, do you? | 哇 你可真是开门见山啊 |
[12:32] | Nope. When I see what I want, I get right to the B.S. | 对 我淘宝的时候看上什么就按回车 |
[12:36] | I’m Melanie. | 我是梅勒妮 |
[12:39] | Melanie Laughlin. | 梅勒妮·劳克林 |
[12:41] | Oh. Nice to meet you, Melanie. | 很高兴认识你 梅勒妮 |
[12:42] | I’m… | 我是… |
[12:45] | Charlie. | 查理 |
[12:47] | Charlie Harper. | 查理·哈勃 |
[12:54] | That was fun. | 昨晚过得真爽 |
[12:56] | Yeah, it was. | 爽歪歪 |
[12:58] | You know, I was a little worried I wasn’t gonna be able | 你知道吗 本来我还担心自己 |
[13:01] | to get used to single life, | 没法适应单身生活 |
[13:02] | but this “casual sex with no commitment” stuff | 但”一夜风流 无需负责”的玩意 |
[13:04] | is kind of growing on me. | 真是越玩越带劲 |
[13:06] | Wait, what? | 等等 什么 |
[13:08] | Thank you for the intercourse. | 感谢与我一夜情 |
[13:10] | Bye-bye. | 再见咯 |
[13:17] | Well, Mr. Penis is happy. | 看来 我家老二很满足 |
[13:21] | Time to take care of Mr. Stomach. | 该照顾照顾老胃的情绪了 |
[13:25] | Good morning. | 早安 |
[13:28] | Morning. | 早安 |
[13:30] | You are an incredible lover, Charlie Harper. | 你真是个完美情人 查理·哈勃 |
[13:35] | I believe if a gal’s worth doing, she’s worth doing well. | 我一直信奉”要干就要干好”的原则 |
[13:40] | You’re terrible. | 你可真坏 |
[13:42] | Yes. I am. | 可不是嘛 |
[13:49] | Can your dog hold a video camera? | 你的狗能架得住摄像机吗 |
[13:55] | Berta, how do you feel about casual sex? | 波塔 你怎么看待”一夜情” |
[13:59] | I’m all for it. | 举双脚赞成[完全愿意] |
[14:02] | Just let me finish the dishes | 先让我把盘子刷了 |
[14:03] | and run a comb through my hair. | 再梳个头 |
[14:08] | Morning. | 早上好 |
[14:09] | Morning. | 早上好 |
[14:10] | Morning. | 早上好 |
[14:18] | What are you doing? | 你在做什么 |
[14:20] | Hair of the dog. | 倒杯解醉酒 |
[14:22] | Oh, that one’s not dog. | 这根是什么啊 |
[14:26] | Bye! Call me! | 再见 记得给我打电话 |
[14:29] | I will! | 一定 |
[14:30] | As soon as I remember your name. | 只要我能记得你的名字 |
[14:34] | Who was that? | 那是谁 |
[14:36] | Oh, I just tapped a little strange last night. | 就是我昨晚睡了的一个陌生人 |
[14:40] | Which one did you tap? | 你睡的是哪个 |
[14:44] | I’ll give you a hint. | 让我给你个提示 |
[14:45] | I didn’t do the dog people style. | 我没使用人狗交配式 |
[14:51] | It’s walking like Zippy, but it sure ain’t talking like Zippy. | 走路还是废柴相 但说话可就不像了 |
[14:55] | Yeah. I don’t know him as well as you do. | 我和你有同感 都快不认识他了 |
[14:58] | Is he prone to having mental breakdowns? | 他是不是快要精神崩溃了 |
[14:59] | Prone, no. | 不是快要 |
[15:00] | Eligible, certainly. | 必须是已经崩溃了 |
[15:07] | Whoa, look who’s getting busy. | 看看谁正忙着那 |
[15:10] | Mr. Harper, we were just making out. | 哈勃先生 我们只是亲热了下 |
[15:13] | Yeah, we all know what happens after making out. | 是啊 我们都知道亲热后要做什么 |
[15:14] | Making in and out. | 进进出出 |
[15:22] | Listen up, grasshoppers. | 听着 小不点们 |
[15:24] | You know how they say that marijuana leads to harder drugs? | 你知道服大麻会导致吸食硬性毒品吗 |
[15:28] | Well, the same thing applies to the human tongue. | 道理同样适用于接吻 |
[15:30] | It leads to harder organs. | 接吻让你们想更”进”一步 |
[15:34] | Now, if you are not careful, you’re gonna wake up one morning | 如果你们不小心点 |
[15:36] | with a big-headed bun in the oven. | 第二天就发现怀孕了 |
[15:39] | No offense, Charlie Brown. | 无意冒犯 查理·布朗 |
[15:40] | I’m begging you, please leave. | 我求你了 拜托出去吧 |
[15:44] | Relax, I’m just looking out for you. | 放轻松 我只是提醒你们 |
[15:46] | Here, tell you what. | 还有件事儿 |
[15:48] | Take the young lady out for a nice dinner, on me. | 带这姑娘去吃顿好的 算我账上 |
[15:51] | It’s a dollar. | 就一美元 |
[15:54] | You’re welcome! | 不用谢 |
[16:00] | I think we have a problem. | 我觉着咱们遇上麻烦了 |
[16:02] | Your father? | 你老爹 |
[16:04] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[16:05] | He’s acting like my Uncle Charlie. | 他越来越像我的查理叔叔 |
[16:07] | I mean, he’s even dressing like my Uncle Charlie. | 我是说 他连穿着都模仿查理叔叔 |
[16:09] | The only thing left of my dad is his cheapness. | 我爸唯一保留的特征只剩下小气了 |
[16:16] | Well, Jake, he suffered a big loss. | 杰克 他承受着失去亲人的痛苦 |
[16:21] | People deal with that in different ways. | 人们处理悲伤的方式不同 |
[16:24] | I mean, I still haven’t processed the grief | 我是说我也没有走出 |
[16:26] | over my marriage ending. | 离婚的阴影 |
[16:28] | I’m… sure someday it’ll hit me | 我相信终有一天 我会幡然醒悟 |
[16:33] | that the most important person in my life is gone. | 我最爱的人已经离我而去了 |
[16:40] | My soul mate. | 我的灵魂伴侣 |
[16:42] | My best friend. | 我的挚友 |
[16:45] | My lover. | 我的爱人 |
[16:48] | In the meantime, you just carry on. | 同时 你将重新扬帆起航 |
[16:52] | And you to try to fill that void by having casual drunk sex | 你会和不介意一夜情的惹火女人 |
[16:57] | with strange, hot women that don’t mind | 在醉意下共度良宵 |
[16:59] | if you dance around in their panties. | 填补空虚寂寞的心 |
[17:05] | Is everybody turning into Uncle Charlie? | 大家怎么都查理伯伯附体了 |
[17:13] | Ah, Cuban in one hand, | 一边拿着古巴雪茄 |
[17:16] | scotch in the other. | 一边喝着苏格兰威士忌 |
[17:17] | All I need is a French chick in my lap | 再来个法国妞坐大腿上 |
[17:20] | and I’m the United-freakin’-Nations. | 我就是真人版联合国 |
[17:24] | Got a minute? | 有时间吗 |
[17:25] | Uh, pretty busy, but okay. | 我很忙 但是 请便吧 |
[17:28] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
[17:31] | All right, look… | 好吧 听着… |
[17:35] | People are really worried about you. | 大家都很担心你 |
[17:37] | Hey, the only reason people are worried about me is ’cause | 大家之所以会担心我是因为 |
[17:40] | they can’t wrap their heads around how cool I am. | 他们绞尽脑汁也想不到老子能如此牛掰 |
[17:44] | Yeah, no, I don’t think that’s it. | 是呀 不过我觉得不是因为这个 |
[17:48] | Look, I know you miss your brother. | 我知道你思念死去的哥哥 |
[17:51] | Miss my brother? | 思念我弟弟? |
[17:53] | That parasitic leech. | 那个吃白食的寄生虫 |
[17:54] | Not likely. | 完全不可能 |
[17:55] | Hey, you remember that shrink that you sent me to? | 还记得你以前介绍给我的那个心理医生吗 |
[17:59] | Maybe you should go see her. | 或许你该找她看看 |
[18:00] | What for? I’m fine. | 为什么 我心理没问题 |
[18:02] | What’s your name? | 那你叫什么 |
[18:03] | Charlie Harper. | 查理·哈勃 |
[18:04] | You’re not fine. | 你问题大了 |
[18:06] | Well, I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree. | 那咱们就求同存异好了 |
[18:14] | I’ll tell you what, why don’t you get some rest, | 我觉得 你应该进屋歇会儿 |
[18:16] | maybe lick your finger, stick it in a light socket, | 或许舔舔手指 再把它戳进电灯插座里 |
[18:20] | and we’ll revisit this in the morning. | 这事我们明天再说 |
[18:24] | You got it, big fella. | 就按你说的办 伙计 |
[18:30] | Who the hell was that? | 那个家伙是谁呀 |
[18:37] | It’s got oats and corn and wheat | 燕麦玉米和小麦 |
[18:41] | It’s the sweetest breakfast treat | 香甜早餐真不赖 |
[18:45] | It’s… | 枫糖 |
[18:46] | Maple, maple, maaaaple-icious! | 枫糖圈圈我最爱 |
[18:51] | Uh, what are you doing in here? | 你来这儿干嘛 |
[18:54] | What are you doing in here? | 那你来这儿又是干嘛 |
[18:55] | It’s my shower! | 这是我的沐浴间 |
[18:58] | Once again, agree to disagree. | 再说一遍 咱们求同存异 |
[19:00] | Okay, listen… | 好吧 你给我听好 |
[19:01] | Whoa! Nice penis! | 哇 大鸟 |
[19:03] | You could paint a face on that thing | 再帮它画张脸就无敌啦 |
[19:05] | and ride in the car pool lane. | 骑遍天下各种”车”哦 |
[19:11] | Thank you. | 多谢夸奖 |
[19:13] | Uh-oh, what’s going on down there? | 啊哦 我下面是怎么回事 |
[19:15] | Call the cops; I’ve been robbed! | 快报警 我被人打劫啦 |
[19:21] | What a great idea. | 这个主意真不错 |
[19:23] | You and me, Vegas. | 你和我 拉斯维加斯 |
[19:25] | Yep. | 是呀 |
[19:27] | I am gonna show you a good time. | 让哥教你怎么享受 |
[19:29] | They love me in Vegas. | 赌城人民可爱我了 |
[19:30] | I’m sure they do. | 我也这么觉得 |
[19:32] | Trust me, the name Charlie Harper opens a lot of doors. | 相信我 查理·哈勃这个名字无所不能 |
[19:35] | And a lot of legs. | 无妞不上 |
[19:38] | No kidding. | 真的呀 |
[19:39] | But be sure to wear a condom. | 但切记一定要戴套 |
[19:41] | Not everything stays in Vegas. | 把钱留在赌城就行了 |
[19:44] | Okay. | 明白 |
[19:46] | Well, here we are. | 我们到了 |
[19:48] | Really? This doesn’t look like the Bellagio. | 是吗 这看起来不像是贝拉吉奥酒店呀 |
[19:50] | It’s the, uh, back entrance. | 这是后门 |
[19:52] | Ah, not the only back entrance we’ll be using this weekend. | 我们这周肯定不止走这么一个”后门” |
[19:55] | Am I right? Up top. | 是不是呀 来击个掌 |
[20:01] | Hello, Mr. Harper. | 你好 哈勃先生 |
[20:02] | If you could just come with us. | 请跟我们来 |
[20:04] | Uh, don’t forget my bags. | 别忘了帮我拿行李 |
[20:05] | We’ll be going to the presidential suite. | 我们入住的可是总统套房哦 |
[20:07] | Oh, yes, sir. | 是的 先生 |
[20:09] | Slip ’em both a sawbuck. | 帮我赏给他们一人10块钱吧 |
[20:11] | I’ll see you in the room. | 房间见啦 |
[20:12] | Will do. | 好的 |
[20:17] | This way, Mr. Harper. | 这边请 哈勃先生 |
[20:21] | So who’s playing the big room? | 今晚的表演嘉宾是谁 |
[20:22] | Celine? Elton? | 是席琳·迪翁 还是艾尔顿·约翰 |
[20:24] | I’m gonna want tickets– comped. | 给我来两张票 不花钱白赠的那种 |
[20:30] | Hello, concierge? Yes. | 你好 前台吗 对 |
[20:32] | Um, this is Charlie Harper in the presidential suite. | 我是总统套房的查理·哈勃 |
[20:35] | Uh, I’m gonna need a bucket of ice, | 给我来一桶冰块 |
[20:37] | a bottle of scotch and two Asian hookers. | 一杯威士忌 两个亚洲妓女 |
[20:42] | You know what, they’re small. | 亚洲女人太小 不够劲儿 |
[20:44] | Make it three. | 给我来三个吧 |
[20:46] | Yes, thanks. | 对 谢啦 |
[20:51] | Winning. | 人生赢家 |