| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Walden, are you almost ready? | 沃顿 你快好了吗 |
| [00:03] | Almost. | 快了 |
| [00:06] | How is it possible that I am always ready before you are? | 你说怎么可能每次出门我都比你快呢 |
| [00:10] | Hey, it takes a lot of work to make it look like | 要刻意打扮得不刻意 |
| [00:12] | I don’t care how I look. | 很费功夫的好不好 |
| [00:14] | Please, let’s go. I’m starving. | 拜托 快走吧 我饿死了 |
| [00:16] | Just give me a minute. I’m having a bad beard day. | 再等一分钟 今天络腮胡不配合 |
| [00:19] | Is there such a thing as a good beard day? | 那有络腮胡配合的那天吗 |
| [00:22] | Absolutely. | 当然有 |
| [00:23] | Usually I wake up, and it’s all soft and fluffy,, | 通常是我起床 不用打理它就又软又蓬 |
| [00:25] | but I must have slept on it wrong, | 但我昨晚肯定睡得不对 |
| [00:26] | ’cause this side’s, like, flat and listless. | 因为这边看上去又塌又蔫 |
| [00:29] | Oh, if it’s causing you such problems, | 如果这络腮胡这么麻烦 |
| [00:31] | why don’t you just shave it off? | 你何不直接剃掉它 |
| [00:33] | I thought you loved my beard. | 我以为你喜欢我的络腮胡呢 |
| [00:35] | No, I never said that. | 不 我可从来没说过 |
| [00:39] | Then why’d you go out with me in the first place? | 那你一开始为什么跟我约会 |
| [00:41] | I don’t judge a person by what’s on the surface. | 我又不以外表来判断一个人 |
| [00:44] | Yeah, but yet you’re asking me to shave my surface. | 是啊 但现在你让我剃的就是我的外表 |
| [00:47] | Yes, please. | 对 拜托了 |
| [00:51] | Is there anything else about me that’s not working for you? | 那我还有什么让你不满意的地方吗 |
| [00:55] | As long as you ask, | 既然你开口问了 |
| [00:57] | I’m not crazy about the Jennifer Aniston hairdo. | 我不喜欢你这个珍妮弗·安妮斯顿式的发型 |
| [01:07] | Okay. This is… | 好吧 这个… |
| [01:08] | I’m-I’m… I’m a little… I’m a little confused here. | 我…我有点…我有点糊涂了 |
| [01:11] | I thought you liked the way I looked. | 我原以为你喜欢我这样 |
| [01:12] | Oh, I do. I do. | 没错 是喜欢 |
| [01:14] | I just think I’d like it better if the ratio of hair to face | 我只是觉得 如果你的头发要是 |
| [01:17] | was more on the face side of things. | 能剪短一点就好了 |
| [01:21] | Well, I will definitely give it some thought. | 我一定会考虑一下 |
| [01:23] | I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do. | 我不想勉强你做任何你不想做的事 |
| [01:26] | Although, to be fair, I did remove some hair for you. | 尽管说句公道话 我可是为了你去了点”毛发” |
| [01:29] | After I almost choked to death. | 那也是我差点被呛死之后 |
| [01:36] | Okay, just need to post a profile picture, | 好了 个人资料还差一张照片 |
| [01:40] | and let the dating begin. | 弄完就可以开始约妹子啦 |
| [01:53] | To Catch a Predator. | 这张像《逮捕罪犯》 |
| [01:55] | 该节目以未成年女孩的名义在网上引诱想与其上床的男人 但男人最终见到的是该真人秀的主持人和整个摄制组 | |
| [02:05] | Hello, sailor! | 这张像”你好 水手” |
| [02:05] | 英国作家乔·斯坦利和保罗·贝克出版了一本讲述同性恋们的海上生活的书籍 名为《你好!水手:同性恋水手被隐瞒的历史》 | |
| [02:16] | More chins than a Chinese phone book. | 下巴比中国的电话本页数还多 |
| [02:20] | Hey. We’re heading out. | 我们出门咯 |
| [02:23] | Have a nice dinner. | 用餐愉快 |
| [02:24] | What are you going to do tonight? | 你今晚干嘛 |
| [02:25] | Well, I don’t want to jinx myself, | 我不想让自己听上去很可悲 |
| [02:27] | but I’m hoping to rub one out and be asleep by 10:00. | 但我希望能撸一管 然后十点前入睡 |
| [02:32] | Rub one out? | 撸一管 |
| [02:34] | Oh, he’s gonna wait till we leave, | 他会等咱们走了 |
| [02:35] | watch some porn and masturbate. | 然后看着黄片自慰 |
| [02:38] | Oh. Ick. | 好恶心 |
| [02:40] | You know what? | 要不这样 |
| [02:41] | Don’t just hang out here alone. | 你别自己待着了 |
| [02:42] | Why don’t you just join us for dinner? | 何不跟我们去吃饭 |
| [02:46] | Oh, no, no, no. I don’t want to be a third wheel. | 不 不用了 我可不想当电灯泡 |
| [02:48] | You two kids have a great time. | 你们俩玩得开心点 |
| [02:49] | – Thank you. – No. | -多谢 -不行 |
| [02:51] | We insist. | 我们坚决邀请你 |
| [02:52] | Tell him, Zoey. | 跟他说 苏伊 |
| [02:56] | Do join us, won’t you? | 一起去吧 好吗 |
| [02:59] | Great. Rain check. | 太棒了 改日再撸 |
| [03:00] | Where we eating? | 我们去哪里吃呀 |
| [03:02] | I was thinking about trying out that new Italian place on PCH. | 我想着去一家新开的意大利餐厅 |
| [03:05] | Ooh, really? Italian? That’s kind of heavy. | 真的吗 吃意大利菜呀 口味有点过重 |
| [03:07] | What are you in the mood for? | 那你想吃什么 |
| [03:09] | Oh, no, no. It’s your night. I’m just tagging along. | 不不 你俩约会 我只是个小跟班 |
| [03:11] | I was rather looking forward to Italian, so… | 我倒是挺想吃意大利菜的 |
| [03:13] | Well, you heard her. The queen wants pasta. | 你听见她说的了吧 女王想吃意大利面 |
| [03:51] | Darling, you have some crumbs. | 亲爱的 你这有点饼干屑 |
| [03:53] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [03:56] | That’s another advantage of having a beard. | 这就是有络腮胡的好处 |
| [03:58] | After dinner, you always have something left to snack on. | 吃完饭 还能来点饭后小吃 |
| [04:02] | Charming. | 真可爱 |
| [04:03] | She’s not crazy about the facial hair. | 她不喜欢脸上长胡子 |
| [04:05] | Oh, are you kidding? | 开什么玩笑 |
| [04:06] | He looks so rugged and sexy. | 他看起来多男人多性感啊 |
| [04:10] | Well, if it’s such a wonderful look, why don’t you grow a beard? | 既然看上去这么棒 你自己怎么不留胡子 |
| [04:12] | Oh, I tried. Grew in patchy. | 我留过 长得稀稀落落 |
| [04:14] | I looked like a possum on chemo. | 我看起来像一只在化疗的负鼠 |
| [04:18] | Well, I think most women would agree that men look much more attractive | 我觉得大部分女人会同意男人仪表整洁 |
| [04:21] | – when they’re properly groomed. – Really? | -看起来更迷人 -真的吗 |
| [04:24] | I’ve always been properly groomed, | 我向来仪表整洁 |
| [04:25] | and all it’s gotten me is two divorces | 结果却招致两次离婚 |
| [04:27] | and carpal tunnel syndrome. | 以及腕管综合征[自慰过多] |
| [04:29] | Oh. Ick. | 好恶心 |
| [04:32] | Alan, check out the bar. | 艾伦 快看吧台那边 |
| [04:40] | She looks fantastic. | 她看起来明艳照人 |
| [04:42] | Who’s that? | 那是谁 |
| [04:43] | It’s Alan’s old girlfriend. | 艾伦的前女友 |
| [04:44] | You’re joking. | 你开玩笑呢吧 |
| [04:48] | What’s that supposed to mean? | 这话什么意思 |
| [04:49] | Nothing. Well done. Well done. | 没意思 干得好 干得好 |
| [04:54] | Alan, go say hello to her. | 艾伦 过去跟她打声招呼吧 |
| [04:56] | Oh, I don’t know. I mean, as much as I’d like to see her, | 我不知道 我是说虽然我很想见她 |
| [04:58] | I’m not sure she still wants to see me. | 但我不确定她是否想见我 |
| [05:00] | Uh, it didn’t end well. | 当时不是好聚好散 |
| [05:02] | What happened? | 怎么了 |
| [05:03] | Did she catch you rubbing one out? | 她抓到你在”撸管”吗 |
| [05:07] | – Did I say that right? – That was perfect. | -那个词我说对了吗 -非常正确 |
| [05:08] | Yeah? Okay. | 是吗 好吧 |
| [05:12] | Just go say hello to her. | 快过去跟她打招呼 |
| [05:15] | Well, guess it couldn’t hurt. | 打个招呼也不会死 |
| [05:17] | I mean, she does look a little pathetic | 我是说 她独自坐在那 |
| [05:19] | just sitting there all by herself | 等着被某个废材搭讪 |
| [05:21] | waiting to get hit on by some loser. | 的确有点儿可悲 |
| [05:24] | By all means, save her from that. | 请务必救她脱离苦海 |
| [05:28] | All right, wish me luck. | 好 祝我好运吧 |
| [05:29] | Good luck. | 祝你好运 |
| [05:31] | Go g ’em. | 快上 |
| [05:34] | Seriously, what’s wrong with her? | 说真的 那女的怎么想的 |
| [05:38] | Hey, stranger. | 你好 陌生人 |
| [05:40] | Alan! | 艾伦 |
| [05:42] | Hi! How have you been? | 你好 最近过得好吗 |
| [05:44] | Uh, good. Good. You? | 挺好 你呢 |
| [05:45] | Real good. | 很好 |
| [05:48] | Well, you look beautiful. | 你真美 |
| [05:50] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [05:53] | Yeah, I’ve been working out. | 没错 我最近有在健身 |
| [05:55] | Good. | 很好啊 |
| [05:56] | Good, good. So, uh, what are you doing here all by yourself? | 好 都好 那你自己在这里干嘛 |
| [05:59] | – Oh, well… – Sorry. | -这个嘛 -抱歉 |
| [06:00] | I don’t think that valet has ever driven a Ferrari before. | 我觉得那个泊车仔以前肯定没开过法拉利 |
| [06:05] | Alan, this is my friend Dylan. | 艾伦 这是我朋友迪伦 |
| [06:07] | Dylan, this is Alan. | 迪伦 这位是艾伦 |
| [06:08] | – Oh, hey. – Hey, Alan. | -你好 -你好 艾伦 |
| [06:09] | Uh, Dylan, huh? | 你叫迪伦呀 |
| [06:10] | Uh, named after Bob? | 以鲍勃·迪伦命名吗 |
| [06:12] | No, named after my dad. | 不 以家父命名 |
| [06:13] | He was named after Bob. | 他倒是以鲍勃·迪伦命名吗 |
| [06:16] | Okay. Okay. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [06:18] | Uh, well, it was nice to meet you. | 很高兴认识你 |
| [06:19] | Uh, Lyndsey, it’s always great to see you. | 林赛 见到你真好 |
| [06:22] | Um, I-I should get back to my date. | 我得回去约会了 |
| [06:26] | Yeah, Walden’s trying to set me up with his baby sister. | 沃顿试图撮合我和他的宝贝妹妹 |
| [06:29] | She’s very pretty. | 她真漂亮 |
| [06:30] | Oh, yeah, she’s okay. | 是啊 还凑合吧 |
| [06:40] | Uh, it’s a very close family. | 相亲相爱的一家人 |
| [06:52] | Seems overly complicated. | 真是麻烦 |
| [06:54] | What? | 什么麻烦 |
| [06:56] | Why don’t they just make chips with the dip already on ’em? | 为什么不把蘸酱直接放在薯片里 |
| [07:02] | Dude… | 哥们 |
| [07:04] | that’s a million-dollar idea. | 你这个想法价值百万啊 |
| [07:08] | What is? | 什么想法 |
| [07:09] | Pre-dipped chips. | 蘸好酱的薯片 |
| [07:12] | See, that’s a million-dollar idea. | 你这个想法价值百万啊 |
| [07:16] | What’s a million-dollar idea? | 什么想法价值百万 |
| [07:18] | It’s an idea worth a million dollars. | 就是值一百万的想法 |
| [07:22] | Boy, I wish I had one of those. | 真希望我有这么个想法 |
| [07:27] | I can’t believe they brought back Beavis and Butt-Head. | 真不敢相信又重播《瘪四与大头蛋》了 |
| [07:29] | Yeah. Those guys are, like, too stupid to live. | 这两个家伙太蠢了 白活在世界上 |
| [07:37] | Uh-oh. That’s my dad. | 我爸回来了 |
| [07:39] | Quick, give me that air freshener. | 来点空气清新剂 |
| [07:46] | This is bug spray, dude. | 哥们这是杀虫剂 |
| [07:50] | Says it’s for roaches. | 专杀蟑螂的 |
| [07:54] | Perfect. | 不错啊 |
| [07:58] | Just forget about her, Alan. | 忘记她吧 艾伦 |
| [07:59] | I’m sure Zoey has some single friends she can fix you up with. | 我肯定佐伊有适合你的女孩子介绍 |
| [08:01] | No, I don’t. Sorry. | 不好意思 没有 |
| [08:04] | I just can’t get over how young the guy is. | 我就是觉得她找的那家伙也太年轻 |
| [08:06] | Well, a clean-shaven face will do that for a man. | 男人只要胡子刮干净了 都显得年轻 |
| [08:11] | Well, thanks again for dinner. | 谢谢你的晚餐 |
| [08:13] | I really thought I was gonna eat both lobsters. | 我本来真以为我能吃得下两只龙虾的 |
| [08:19] | You really don’t have any single friends? | 你真的没什么单身的朋友吗 |
| [08:21] | Shh. Just keep walking. | 闭嘴 走啦 |
| [08:26] | Oh, my God! | 天啊 |
| [08:28] | Is that bug spray? | 杀虫剂的味道吗 |
| [08:29] | Yeah, we were just getting rid of some roaches. | 没错 我们刚杀过蟑螂呢 |
| [08:34] | Maybe we need to call an exterminator. | 也许我们应该让除虫的人来搞 |
| [08:36] | I think we need to call Domino’s. | 我觉得我们该叫个披萨了 |
| [08:41] | Mind if I hang out with you guys? | 介意我和你们待会吗 |
| [08:44] | Sure. | 不介意 |
| [08:51] | Who’s dumber than Beavis and Butt-Head? | 还有比《瘪四与大头蛋》更蠢的人吗 |
| [08:55] | Oh, hey, Eldridge, I ran into your mom tonight. | 爱尔德里奇我今天碰见你妈了 |
| [08:58] | Really? Was she with Dylan? | 是吗 她和迪伦在一起吗 |
| [09:00] | Yeah, yeah. Have you met him? | 是的 你认识迪伦吗 |
| [09:02] | What’s he like? Is it serious? | 人咋样 他们是认真的谈恋爱吗 |
| [09:04] | I doubt it. He’s gay. | 我觉得不是 他是同性恋 |
| [09:07] | What? He’s gay? | 他是同性恋 |
| [09:08] | Oh, yeah, big poof. | 绝对的 |
| [09:10] | Always hugging me a little too long. | 总是在我身边黏糊 |
| [09:14] | Wait. Are we talking about the guy with the Ferrari? | 你说的是那个有法拉利的家伙吗 |
| [09:16] | Yeah. Dylan. | 没错啊 迪伦 |
| [09:17] | I once saw him wearing my mom’s underwear. | 我有一次看见他穿着我妈的内衣 |
| [09:20] | Oh, well, that doesn’t mean he’s gay. He… | 这个嘛 那也不能证明他是同性恋啊… |
| [09:27] | He might just like pretty things. | 他也许就是喜欢漂亮的东西 |
| [09:33] | -Um, does your mom ever mention me? -Yeah. | -你妈提过我吗 -当然 |
| [09:35] | Yeah, all the time. She really misses you. | 总是说起你的 她很想你 |
| [09:37] | You should stop by some time. | 你有空就应该去看看她 |
| [09:42] | Well, it’s not too late. | 现在也不是很晚 |
| [09:44] | Maybe I’ll wander over there and carpe me some diem. | 我也许应该去她那 有花堪折直须折 |
| [09:53] | Way to get rid of him. | 真是摆脱他的好办法 |
| [09:55] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [09:56] | Was any of it true? | 有一句是真的吗 |
| [09:57] | Not word. | 没有 |
| [10:04] | What does “carpe me some diem” mean? | 有花堪折直须折是什么意思 |
| [10:07] | It’s French for “bang your mom.” | 是法语 干你老母的意思 |
| [10:15] | Hang on. | 等下 |
| [10:18] | Beard. | 你的胡子 |
| [10:20] | Oh, please. | 拉倒吧 |
| [10:22] | I know what you’re trying to do. | 我就知道你是故意的 |
| [10:23] | What? | 什么啊 |
| [10:24] | Do you really hate my beard that much? | 你就那么恨我的胡子 |
| [10:27] | “Hate” is a very strong word. | 恨是个很严重的词 |
| [10:29] | But, yeah, I hate it. | 但是我的确恨你的胡子 |
| [10:31] | Okay, I don’t understand. | 我真的无法理解 |
| [10:32] | We’ve been going out for a couple months. | 我们都约会几个月了 |
| [10:33] | Why is it all of a sudden the problem? | 我的胡子怎么就招你恨了呢 |
| [10:37] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [10:38] | This is probably going to sound very shallow, | 也许听起来挺肤浅的 |
| [10:40] | but there’s a cocktail party at my office this weekend, | 但是这周我们公司有个鸡尾酒晚会 |
| [10:43] | and since I’m on the fast track to make partner, | 而且我现在马上就要升合伙人了 |
| [10:46] | I’d rather not show up with Hipster Jesus. | 怎么可能和大胡子的嬉皮耶稣一起参加晚会呢 |
| [10:57] | You’re right, that did sound shallow. | 你说的对 听起来的确挺肤浅的 |
| [11:00] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [11:02] | But if it’s that important to you | 但是如果真的对你很重要 |
| [11:03] | and the people you work with– who obviously have never heard | 而且你的同事也明显不认识 |
| [11:05] | of Steve Wozniak, Richard Branson | 史蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克 理查德·布兰森 |
| [11:05] | 史蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克 苹果创始人 理查德·布兰森 维京老板 | |
| [11:07] | or freakin’ Santa Claus… | 还有那该死的圣诞老人 |
| [11:12] | I’ll do it. | 我会刮了 |
| [11:14] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [11:15] | Yes, really. | 真的 |
| [11:16] | And you’ll cut the hair, too? | 头发也剪短点好吗 |
| [11:18] | Aw, man! | 得寸进尺啊 |
| [11:20] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [11:22] | Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. | 谢谢 谢谢 谢谢 谢谢 |
| [11:25] | Now, what can I do to make you happy? | 我怎么能让你开心啊 |
| [11:27] | Well… | 这个 |
| [11:27] | Besides that. Aw. | 除了那方面 |
| [11:36] | Oh, Dylan! | 迪伦 |
| [11:37] | Oh, yes, Dylan! | 天啊 迪伦 |
| [11:39] | Oh! Yes! | 太棒了 |
| [11:41] | Dylan! Yes! | 迪伦 太棒了 |
| [11:43] | Dylan! | 迪伦 |
| [11:44] | Big poof, my ass. | 狗屁同性恋 |
| [11:46] | Yes! Yes! I hate that kid. | 我恨那死崽子 |
| [11:49] | Yes, Dylan! Yes! | 好棒啊 迪伦 |
| [11:57] | So why’d you quit being a hairdresser? | 那你为什么不做理发师了呢 |
| [11:58] | They shut down the prison. | 他们关了监狱 |
| [12:01] | You were in prison? | 你当时在监狱吗 |
| [12:02] | No, I was a prison barber. | 不是的 我是监狱的理发师 |
| [12:05] | Which, to be honest, was mostly about lice control | 基本上就是一个捉虱子的 |
| [12:08] | and trading sex for cigarettes. | 然后用身体换香烟 |
| [12:11] | What’s going on? | 干嘛呢 |
| [12:12] | I’m getting cleaned up for Zoey’s office party. | 为了佐伊的晚会剪发刮胡子 |
| [12:16] | Wow. So you finally caved. | 你终于妥协了 |
| [12:18] | I did not cave. | 我才没妥协 |
| [12:20] | Just want to make her happy. | 只是想让她开心 |
| [12:22] | Oh, yeah, I get it. | 我理解 |
| [12:23] | I’ve spent my whole life | 我用了一辈子的时间 |
| [12:24] | doing what I’m told to make women happy. | 去取悦女人 |
| [12:27] | No, Zoey didn’t order me to shave or cut my hair. | 佐伊没逼着我剃胡子和剪头发的 |
| [12:29] | It’s my choice. | 我自己决定的 |
| [12:30] | Yeah, and when I was married to Judith, | 当我和朱蒂丝结婚后 |
| [12:32] | it was my choice to get a vasectomy, a new kitchen | 也是我自己选择绝育 重新装修厨房 |
| [12:34] | and a Labradoodle with diarrhea. | 还买了一只老腹泻的拉布拉多狗 |
| [12:40] | Excuse me. | 不好意思 |
| [12:42] | Hey, Lyndsey. | 你好林赛 |
| [12:43] | All right, Samson, what do you want? | 好了 参孙 你想要个什么样子的 |
| [12:45] | Look pretty for your cellmate or the death row special? | 是想取悦你的牢友呢 还是为死刑搞个特殊点的 |
| [12:49] | Yeah, yeah, it was good to see you, too. | 我也很高兴见到你 |
| [12:52] | W-What? | 什么 |
| [12:53] | Yeah, I-I would love to-to get together. | 我很高兴能和你聚一下 |
| [12:57] | Uh, tomorrow night? | 明天晚上 |
| [12:58] | Great, I-I’ll see you then. | 太棒了 我们到时候见 |
| [13:03] | She’s dating a young, good-looking stud with money. | 她明明在和高富帅约会 |
| [13:07] | Why would she want to see me? | 为什么会想见我呢 |
| [13:13] | Maybe she needs a kidney. | 也许想让我捐肾 |
| [13:24] | Surprise. | 惊喜吧 |
| [13:27] | Walden, you promised. | 沃顿 你保证了 |
| [13:29] | I know. I’m sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [13:30] | I just, I couldn’t do it. | 我就是下不了手 |
| [13:32] | Then why did you tell me you would? | 那你为什么要说你会剪呢 |
| [13:34] | Because I wanted you to stop nagging me. | 因为我不想你再对我唠叨 |
| [13:36] | Are you calling me a nag? | 你是说我爱唠叨吗 |
| [13:37] | No, I did not say that. | 不 我可没说这个 |
| [13:39] | I said you were nagging. | 我说的是你冲我唠叨 |
| [13:41] | What’s the difference? | 有区别吗 |
| [13:42] | Obviously the “ging.” | 差个”爱”字 |
| [13:44] | Walden, you gave me your word. | 沃顿 你向我保证了 |
| [13:47] | I-I was gonna go through with it, and then I realized | 我是准备付诸行动的 然后我意识到 |
| [13:51] | this is who I am, and if you don’t like me for who I am, | 这才是真正的我 如果你不喜欢真正的我 |
| [13:54] | then what’s the point? | 那还有什么意义呢 |
| [13:55] | The point is you lied to me! | 意义就是你骗了我 |
| [13:58] | N-No, it wasn’t a lie. | 不 我没骗你 |
| [13:59] | I meant it when I said it. | 我说的时候是认真的 |
| [14:01] | But you said it to stop me “nagging!” | 可你说的目的只是阻止我”唠叨” |
| [14:03] | That’s right. | 没错 |
| [14:04] | No, that’s wrong! | 不 大错特错 |
| [14:05] | No, what you were trying to make me do– that’s wrong. | 不是 你想让我做的 才是大错特错 |
| [14:09] | Now, are we going to your stupid office party or what? | 现在 到底要不要去你那个傻逼公司派对 |
| [14:13] | Okay, so I guess you’re going with the “or what!” | 好的 看来你是决定不要去 |
| [14:15] | You know what, thank you for showing me your true colors | 知道吗 多谢你让我在无可救药地爱上你前 |
| [14:19] | before I fell hopelessly in love with you! | 认清了你的真面目 |
| [14:24] | Excuse me? | 你说什么 |
| [14:31] | I have missed you so much. | 我好想你 |
| [14:33] | I missed you, too. | 我也想你 |
| [14:34] | Uh, maybe this is the wrong time to ask this, | 也许现在问这个不是时候 |
| [14:37] | but don’t you have a boyfriend? | 可你不是有男朋友吗 |
| [14:39] | We broke up. | 我们分手了 |
| [14:40] | So you left Dylan for me? | 你为了我离开了迪伦? |
| [14:42] | Don’t be silly. | 别傻了 |
| [14:46] | Wait, wait. | 等等 |
| [14:47] | So-So he left you? | 他甩了你 |
| [14:48] | No. | 不 |
| [14:50] | O-Okay, I’m confused. | 好吧 我困惑了 |
| [14:52] | Do you really want to know? | 你真的想知道吗 |
| [14:54] | Actually, I think I’m good. | 其实吧 不知道也不会死人 |
| [14:57] | Do you have any idea how exhausting it is | 你知道约会25岁的年轻帅哥 |
| [14:59] | going out with a gorgeous 25-year-old man? | 压力有多大心有多累吗 |
| [15:01] | If I said “yes,” this would be a whole different conversation. | 如果我说知道 这番对话就”弯”到其它道上去了 |
| [15:04] | Let me give you an example. | 我给你举个例子 |
| [15:06] | Every morning, I had to get up an hour before him | 每天早上 我都得早他一小时起床 |
| [15:08] | to put on makeup so he wouldn’t open his eyes | 梳妆打扮好 这样他睁眼后 |
| [15:10] | and think he just nailed his mom. | 才不会觉得上了自己的老妈 |
| [15:14] | Nobody wants that. | 没人喜欢这种想法 |
| [15:16] | And that’s not the worst part. | 这还不算最糟的 |
| [15:17] | A man his age wants to have sex constantly. | 他那个年纪的男人 性需求过于频繁 |
| [15:20] | And that’s a problem? | 这样不好吗 |
| [15:21] | After a certain point, yes. | 过犹不及 当然不好了 |
| [15:23] | There’s not enough cranberry juice in the world | 再多的”蔓越莓汁” |
| [15:25] | to put out the fire that’s burning between my legs. | 也没办法熄灭我两腿间燃烧的烈火 |
| [15:34] | Well, the fire between my legs just went out. | 我两腿间的烈火 刚刚熄灭了 |
| [15:38] | I mean, the entire time I was with him, | 我和他在一起的时候 |
| [15:41] | I walked out of the bedroom backwards | 都得倒退着走出卧室 |
| [15:42] | so he wouldn’t see my ass. | 这样他才不会看到我的屁股 |
| [15:44] | What’s wrong with your ass? | 你的屁股有什么问题 |
| [15:46] | Oh, Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [15:48] | That’s why I’ve missed you so much. | 就是因为这个我才这么想你 |
| [15:52] | I-I don’t get it. | 我不太明白 |
| [15:53] | Your standards are so much lower than Dylan’s. | 你的标准比迪伦低太多了 |
| [15:57] | I don’t have to worry about disappointing you. | 我不用担心令你失望 |
| [15:59] | I do set a low bar. | 我的要求的确不高 |
| [16:03] | Or worry about you leaving me for a younger woman. | 我也不用担心你为年轻女人而抛弃我 |
| [16:05] | – Why not? – You can’t get one. | -为什么 -你泡不上 |
| [16:09] | And you want to know the best part? | 知道最妙的是什么吗 |
| [16:11] | It gets better? | 能”妙”过刚才说的吗 |
| [16:13] | I could sit here and fart like a buffalo, | 我可以坐在这里 放屁如野牛 |
| [16:16] | and you’d still want to be with me. | 你依然会想和我在一起 |
| [16:19] | Well, with age comes wisdom. | 年龄见长 智慧也见长 |
| [16:23] | A fella learns to breathe through his mouth. | 学会用嘴巴呼吸了 |
| [16:26] | Come here, you. | 来吧 你这家伙 |
| [16:35] | You’re testing me, aren’t you? | 你在测试我 对吗 |
| [16:38] | I know, right? | 就是啊 |
| [16:44] | Hang on. | 稍等 |
| [16:48] | That’s a dead buffalo. | 臭过死牛 |
| [16:54] | – Oh, hey, Zoey. – Hi, Alan. | -你好 佐伊 -你好 艾伦 |
| [16:56] | Is Walden here? | 沃顿在吗 |
| [16:56] | Uh, you know, I’m not sure. | 我还真不确定 |
| [16:58] | I haven’t seen him all day. | 一整天没见到他了 |
| [16:59] | Uh, Walden, you up there?! | 沃顿 你在楼上吗 |
| [17:01] | Coming! | 来了 |
| [17:03] | Uh, oh, Lyndsey, Zoey. | 这是林赛 这是佐伊 |
| [17:04] | – Zoey, Lyndsey. – Hi. | -这是佐伊 这是林赛 -你好 |
| [17:05] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [17:06] | We just got back together. | 我们复合了 |
| [17:08] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [17:09] | Oh, did that lovely boy die? | 那个可爱的男生死了吗 |
| [17:13] | Zoey? | 佐伊 |
| [17:27] | Oh, my god. | 我的天 |
| [17:29] | Look at you. | 看看你 |
| [17:31] | You like it? | 你喜欢吗 |
| [17:32] | Like it? | 喜欢 |
| [17:34] | I’m tempted to rub one out. | 我都想直接撸一管了 |
| [17:40] | But why? | 为什么呢 |
| [17:42] | Well, it turns out, when you weren’t nagging me to do it, | 结果是 你不向我唠叨让我去做时 |
| [17:44] | I wanted to. | 我反而想去做了 |
| [17:53] | What are you doing here? | 你怎么来了 |
| [17:53] | I came to apologize for nagging. | 我是为了唠叨来道歉的 |
| [17:56] | I had no right to try and change you. | 我没有权利试图改变你 |
| [17:59] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [18:01] | I also hoped you might elaborate | 我还希望你能详细阐述下 |
| [18:03] | on that “falling in love” comment. | 你那番坠入爱河的宣言 |
| [18:06] | I don’t know what you’re talking about. | 我不知道你在说什么 |
| [18:10] | All right then, come with me. | 好啦 跟我来吧 |
| [18:12] | Where are we going? | 去哪里 |
| [18:13] | I want to test drive this new face of yours. | 我要试驾下你这副新模样 |
| [18:18] | Hop on! | 上来吧 |
| [18:25] | That poor girl. | 可怜的姑娘 |
| [18:26] | Yeah, he looks younger and prettier than before. | 他比以前更年轻更迷人了 |
| [18:31] | She’s gonna have to hold in her farts till the Fourth of July. | 我看在独立日之前 她是别想放屁了 |
| [18:40] | Here’s your cranberry juice. | 蔓越莓汁来了 |
| [18:43] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [18:44] | So, uh, how will you know | 那么 你如何得知 |
| [18:46] | when your lady problems have cleared up? | 什么时候不用再扮淑女了 |
| [18:48] | I’ll be able to pee without screaming. | 小便时不需要用尖叫声来掩盖 |
| [18:54] | Thanks so much for letting me use your loo. | 非常感谢你让我用洗手间 |
| [18:57] | Oh, any time. | 随时欢迎 |
| [18:58] | I know it’s silly, but I just don’t want Walden | 我知道挺傻的 但我不想让沃顿 |
| [19:00] | to hear any of my bathroom noises. | 听到任何我的洗手间噪音 |
| [19:02] | I totally understand. | 我完全理解 |
| [19:04] | Thank you. Night. | 谢谢 晚安 |
| [19:05] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [19:08] | Dylan took me to Hawaii for a week, I didn’t crap once. | 迪伦带我去了夏威夷一周 我一次大号都没上 |
| [19:14] | Is that so? | 是嘛 |
| [19:15] | Thank god he fell asleep on the flight back. | 好在飞回来的时候他睡着了 |
| [19:17] | Why’s that? | 为什么 |
| [19:18] | Gave me a chance to unload. | 给我机会排空啊 |
| [19:21] | I put the first-class lavatory totally out of commission. | 我把头等舱的厕所用到直接成废品了 |
| [19:23] | – Really? – Yeah. | -是嘛 -没错 |
| [19:25] | Stewardess thought it was a terrorist attack. | 空姐以为是恐怖袭击 |
| [19:29] | All right, good night. | 好了 晚安 |
| [19:33] | Yeah, o-okay. | 好的 |
| [19:35] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [19:44] | They don’t have what we have. | 我们有的 他们没有 |
| [19:52] | No, they don’t. | 没错 他们没有 |