| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Alan! | 艾伦 |
| [00:05] | I have to meet Larry for dinner. | 我晚点约了拉里一起吃晚饭 |
| [00:06] | Are you ready yet? | 你好了没啊 |
| [00:08] | The question is: are you? | 应该问 你准备好了吗 |
| [00:18] | Happy anniversary, baby. | 纪念日快乐 宝贝 |
| [00:20] | What? | 什么 |
| [00:27] | Six months ago today, | 六个月前的今天 |
| [00:29] | we cheated on Larry for the first time. | 你第一次为我红杏出墙 |
| [00:32] | So, to commemorate the occasion, | 所以为了纪念这个节日 |
| [00:34] | you donned the traditional balloon underpants? | 你穿上了传统的气球内裤吗 |
| [00:37] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [00:39] | I have a “heart-on” for you. | 我全心全鸡为你 |
| [00:44] | Charming. | 真”有爱” |
| [00:45] | Yeah, I was gonna get you a dozen roses, | 本来打算给你买一打玫瑰 |
| [00:46] | but I-I thought the balloons were cuter. | 但我觉得气球比较可爱 |
| [00:48] | Cheaper. | 是便宜吧 |
| [00:49] | Six of one, half off the other. | 也算是吧 |
| [00:52] | I’m not sure this is something we should be celebrating. | 我不知道我们应不应该庆祝这件事 |
| [00:54] | Come on, you have loved every chapter | 来嘛 我们的禁忌幽会史 |
| [00:57] | in our book of forbidden trysts. | 你不是每一章都深爱着吗 |
| [00:59] | That magical night in the handicapped stall at Chili’s. | 我们在餐厅的残疾人厕所大搞特搞的那晚 |
| [01:03] | The time we put a scare into that field trip of sixth graders | 那次我们在天文馆吓那些六年级生一跳 |
| [01:06] | at the planetarium when they saw Uranus. | 让他们在实地考察时看见天王星[屁眼] |
| [01:14] | That weekend that Larry went back east | 还有拉里回东部的那个周末 |
| [01:16] | and we went “down south.” | 我们”下”了南部 |
| [01:19] | Alan… I don’t have time for this. | 艾伦 我没时间听这些 |
| [01:21] | Well, then open your present. | 那就拆开你的礼物吧 |
| [01:24] | Spoiler alert: it’s my penis and two of his friends. | 小剧透 礼物是我的鸡鸡和他的两位好友 |
| [01:27] | And you can’t return it if it’s the wrong size. | 就算尺寸不对 也不能退换哦 |
| [01:30] | As fun as all this is, I only have about ten minutes | 虽然很有意思 但是我还有10分钟 |
| [01:33] | before I have to go meet Larry, so we got to make this quick. | 就要去见拉里了 所以我们最好速战速决 |
| [01:35] | Ooh, my specialty. | 那是我的专长 |
| [01:38] | First, I’m getting rid of these balloons. | 首先 我要把气球弄掉 |
| [01:43] | I-I should’ve had you blow them up. | 我应该让你来”吹”气球的 |
| [01:46] | I know what you like, baby. | 我就知道你会喜欢 宝贝 |
| [02:04] | Hey, bitches. | 婊子们 好啊 |
| [02:08] | What are you guys up to tonight? | 你们俩今晚有什么节目 |
| [02:09] | Oh, dinner and game night. | 吃晚饭 玩游戏 |
| [02:10] | My ex-wife and I used to do that. | 我和我的前妻以前也这样 |
| [02:12] | Our favorite game was Life, until she ruined mine. | 我们最喜欢的游戏是”人生” 直到她毁了我的 |
| [02:14] | Yeah, we’re more fans of Monopoly, Backgammon… | 我们更喜欢玩”大富翁”和”双陆棋” |
| [02:18] | Hungry Hungry Lesbos. | “饥饿的女同” |
| [02:20] | It’s like Hungry Hungry Hippos, | 玩法就像”饥饿的河马” |
| [02:21] | but we don’t eat balls. | 只不过我们不爱吃小球[蛋蛋] |
| [02:25] | How do you know when you’ve won that game? | 那你们怎么知道谁赢了 |
| [02:27] | Trust me, you know. | 相信我 谁爽谁知道 |
| [02:30] | Hey, something smells good. | 什么闻起来好香 |
| [02:31] | Yeah, we play that, too. | 我们也常玩那个 |
| [02:34] | Hey, you guys want to join us for dinner? | 你们要跟我们一起吃晚餐吗 |
| [02:36] | Oh, no, I can’t. I’m going to the movies. | 不了 我要去看电影 |
| [02:38] | Oh, Alan, you want to join? | 艾伦 你要跟我去看电影吗 |
| [02:40] | Is it a porn movie? | 是黄片吗 |
| [02:43] | Why would I invite a guy to watch a porn in a theater? | 我为什么要邀请一个男人去电影院看黄片 |
| [02:48] | So nobody weird sits next to you. | 这样你旁边就不会有奇怪的人 |
| [02:51] | Well, going with you wouldn’t solve that problem. | 那跟你去也解决不了问题啊 |
| [02:54] | Fine. Go watch your porn by yourself. | 好吧 那你就自己去看黄片吧 |
| [02:57] | I’m not watching a porn! | 我看的不是黄片 |
| [02:59] | And I don’t use your bathroom to poop. | 我也从不在你厕所拉屎 |
| [03:02] | Look, I can’t go anyway, ’cause I’m having a drink | 我真没空 因为我要约了 |
| [03:04] | with my girlfriend’s boyfriend. | 我女友的男友 |
| [03:05] | Why don’t you poop in his toilet? | 你干嘛不去上他的厕所 |
| [03:07] | You’re already banging his girlfriend. | 反正你都上了他的女人了 |
| [03:11] | – You got a flat tire. – I got a what? | -你有个轮胎漏气了 -什么 |
| [03:14] | I noticed it when I was getting out of your car. | 我刚从你车子里出来时发现的 |
| [03:17] | Why were you in my car? | 你怎么会去我车里 |
| [03:19] | Taking a nap. | 小睡一下 |
| [03:21] | Why were you taking a nap in my car? | 你干嘛去我车里小睡 |
| [03:23] | I was getting high, and I just went to sleep. | 我抽大麻抽嗨了 就去睡了啊 |
| [03:26] | Why were you getting high in my car?! | 你为什么会在我车里抽大麻 |
| [03:29] | Because you hide your pot in the car! | 因为你把你的大麻藏在车里 |
| [03:32] | Geez! Which one of us is high, you or me? | 天啊 到底晕乎的是我还是你 |
| [03:42] | Great. | 这下好了 |
| [03:43] | Either of you guys got Triple-A? | 你们有3A保险公司的电话吗 |
| [03:45] | You don’t need Triple-A when you got double D’s. | 当你有双D时 根本不需要什么3A保险 |
| [03:49] | Why don’t you just change it yourself? | 你干嘛不自己换轮胎呢 |
| [03:51] | Eh, sounds like a lot of work. | 听起来好麻烦啊 |
| [03:53] | I’ll just buy a new car. | 我还是买辆新车吧 |
| [03:55] | Or you could use the spare tire and jack. | 你可以用后备胎和千斤顶 |
| [03:58] | Oh, there’s nothing in there. | 后备箱没东西 |
| [04:01] | Whoa… there’s a trunk under the trunk! | 哇 人外有人 车内有车啊 |
| [04:04] | Somebody’s never smuggled anything out of Mexico. | 看来某人从未从墨西哥走私过任何东西 |
| [04:07] | Here, uh, you grab the spare, I’ll loosen the lug nuts. | 给 你去拿后备胎 我去松车轮螺母 |
| [04:09] | – Wow, you really know what you’re doing. – Yeah. | -看来你还真懂怎么换 -是啊 |
| [04:12] | Well, I had a boyfriend who was a mechanic. | 我以前有个修车的男友 |
| [04:15] | A boyfriend? | 男友 |
| [04:16] | Yeah. Well, I went through a phase where I dated guys. | 是啊 我之前有一段时间跟男人约会 |
| [04:20] | Huh, I thought you were a gold star. | 我还以为你是”金星”呢 |
| [04:22] | What’s a “Gold star”? | 什么是”金星” |
| [04:24] | It’s a lesbian term for someone who’s never been with a guy. | 那是女同用语 就是说从未被男人碰过 |
| [04:27] | Hey, I’m a gold star. | 那我就是颗金星 |
| [04:30] | Wait a second, what about that story | 慢着 那你在男童军营里 |
| [04:32] | about you skinny-dipping at Boy Scout camp? | 裸泳是怎么回事 |
| [04:35] | Well, I was drowning. | 当时我差点被淹死 |
| [04:36] | I had to grab ahold of something. | 我必须伸手去抓东西 |
| [04:38] | Just happened to be Roger. | 只不过碰巧抓到罗杰而已 |
| [04:40] | So, if you had met Walden instead of me… | 如果你遇到的是沃顿 而不是我 |
| [04:43] | Oh, God, no. | 天 绝对不可能 |
| [04:45] | Wow, great. | 太棒了 |
| [04:47] | I’m getting hypothetical rejections now. | 我现在还会被人假设地拒绝了 |
| [04:49] | I’m sorry, you’re just not my type. | 抱歉 你不是我喜欢的类型 |
| [04:51] | I was more into, you know, “Guy” guys. | 我更喜欢男人一点的男人 |
| [04:54] | I’m a “Guy” guy. | 我就是很男人的男人 |
| [04:56] | Oh, please. | 拜托 |
| [04:57] | You made me come in your room to kill a spider. | 你还让我去你房里帮忙灭蜘蛛呢 |
| [05:00] | I’m allergic! | 那因为我过敏 |
| [05:02] | Look, it’s not a big deal. | 没什么大不了的 |
| [05:03] | Some guys fix things | 有些男人会修东西 |
| [05:04] | and some guys call the guys that fix things. | 有些男人只会打电话叫人来修东西 |
| [05:07] | You know, right after they watch Project Runway. | 而且还是刚看完《天桥风云》的那种 |
| [05:09] | Oh, I didn’t see it last night. Don’t tell me, don’t tell me. | 我昨晚没看见 千万别剧透 |
| [05:12] | I rest my case. | 我言尽于此 |
| [05:13] | You know what, I’ll show you. | 我证明给你们看 |
| [05:15] | Here, give me that. | 把扳手给我 |
| [05:17] | – Okay. – Tell me I’m not a guy’s guy. | -好 -看看我是不是真男人 |
| [05:20] | I got “guy” coming out of my ass. | 我男人的要死好吗[男人从我屁眼出来] |
| [05:25] | Don’t… You know what I meant. | 别误会 你们知道我什么意思 |
| [05:28] | God, these nuts are hard to get off. | 天啊 这些螺母[蛋蛋]好难弄掉 |
| [05:31] | Oh, okay, I’ll give you that one. | 好吧 你说得对 |
| [05:37] | Hey, Jeff. | 你好啊 杰夫 |
| [05:38] | Hey, there he is. | 来啦 |
| [05:39] | The B-F-F of J-E-F-F. | 你是杰夫一辈子的铁哥们 |
| [05:43] | That’s pretty good. | 说得好 |
| [05:43] | Did you just come up with that? | 你刚刚想到的韵词吗 |
| [05:44] | What do you think, I just sat here | 你说呢 难道我还坐在这 |
| [05:46] | jotting down rhymes before you showed up? | 写着韵词等你出现吗 |
| [05:50] | I’ll have a whiskey. | 给我来杯威士忌 |
| [05:51] | Oh, oh, we’re doing the hard stuff. Okay. | 看来今天要爷们点喝啊 好的 |
| [05:54] | I’ll have three fingers of creme de menthe. | 给我来三指高的薄荷酒 |
| [05:58] | Yeah, I’ve just been kind of in a funk lately. | 我最近挺不开心的 |
| [05:59] | What’s going on? | 出什么事了 |
| [06:00] | It’s Lyndsey. | 是关于林赛 |
| [06:01] | Mm, Lyndsey. Lyndsey. | 林赛 林赛 |
| [06:03] | I’m sorry, uh, | 抱歉 |
| [06:04] | – Lyndsey is…? – My girlfriend. | -林赛是…? -我女朋友 |
| [06:06] | Oh, yes, yes. You know, I-I can never remember her name, | 对 对 我从来都记不住她的名字 |
| [06:09] | because, you know, I never really knew her. | 因为我压根就不认识她 |
| [06:12] | Doesn’t matter. Anyway, she dumped me. | 没关系 重点是她甩了我 |
| [06:13] | She dumped you?! | 她甩了你?! |
| [06:15] | Oh, my God! | 我的天哪 |
| [06:17] | Oh, my God. | 我的天哪 |
| [06:18] | I was so shocked, my first reaction was wrong. | 我很惊讶 惊讶到第一个反应错了 |
| [06:22] | Yeah, well, it’s been a really rough two weeks. | 这两周过得真是艰辛 |
| [06:24] | Wait, two weeks? | 等等 两周吗 |
| [06:25] | You-you guys have been broken up for two weeks | 你们都分手两周了 |
| [06:27] | and this is the first I’m hearing about it? | 我才听说这个消息啊 |
| [06:28] | Oh, I’m sorry, buddy. I should have told you sooner. | 抱歉 兄弟 我该早点告诉你的 |
| [06:30] | Well, someone certainly should have. | “某人”应该早点告诉我的 |
| [06:34] | Anyway, there is one bright side: | 不过 还是有好的一面: |
| [06:36] | at least now, you and I are free to hang whenever we want. | 至少现在 咱们俩想什么时候出来玩都行了 |
| [06:38] | We couldn’t before? | 难道之前不可以吗 |
| [06:39] | Well, I-I didn’t really want to tell you this, but… | 其实我不太想告诉你 但是… |
| [06:42] | Lyndsey didn’t like you very much. | 林赛不太喜欢你 |
| [06:45] | She said that? | 她这么说的吗 |
| [06:46] | Yeah, she’d go on and on about your hair and your clothes. | 是啊 她总是唠叨你的头发和衣着 |
| [06:48] | She even said you had the worst taste in jewelry. | 甚至还说你对珠宝的品味差到了极点 |
| [06:51] | I don’t know where she got that. | 我不知道她是怎么看出来的 |
| [06:52] | I mean, it’s not like you ever bought her jewelry. | 我是说 你又没给她买过珠宝首饰 |
| [06:54] | That’s true. | 那倒是真的 |
| [06:55] | Although, if I had, she wouldn’t have noticed | 即使我买了 她也看不见 |
| [06:58] | unless I put it in the bottom of her wine glass. | 除非是放到她的酒杯里 |
| [07:01] | Women. | 女人啊 |
| [07:01] | I know how to kill this pain. | 我知道如何化解情伤 |
| [07:04] | Bring me the bottle. | 上瓶装的 |
| [07:05] | Yeah, better make it two. | 上两瓶 |
| [07:06] | Ooh, and a little whipped cream. | 再加点奶油 |
| [07:12] | – Oh, hey, Berta, can I ask you a question? – Yeah. | -波塔 我能问你个问题吗 -好啊 |
| [07:15] | I’m a man’s man, right? | 我是男人的男人 对吗 |
| [07:18] | I thought that when I first met you, | 第一次见你的时候有过这种想法 |
| [07:20] | but then I found out you were married to a woman. | 但是后来发现你和一个女人结婚了 |
| [07:23] | No… no, I mean, like… | 不 不 我是说… |
| [07:25] | like, I’m a guy who can… | 我是一个会… |
| [07:28] | build things and… | 建造东西而且… |
| [07:30] | a guy who can get horses out of mud and… | 能把马拉出泥潭而且… |
| [07:35] | …who, if-if he gets stabbed, he just rubs dirt in it. | 如果挨了一刀就撒土止血的人 |
| [07:39] | You’re talking about a guy’s guy? | 你是说男人中的男人吗 |
| [07:41] | One of those dudes, like, in the boner pill commercials? | 就像壮阳药广告里的猛男吗 |
| [07:45] | Yeah, exactly. | 没错 |
| [07:46] | Yeah. You’re not one of those. | 你可不是那类人 |
| [07:49] | What? | 什么 |
| [07:49] | Well, you’re more like one of those guys | 你更像那种 |
| [07:51] | that gets a mani-pedi. | 会修手指甲和脚趾甲的男的 |
| [07:53] | Yeah, well, first of all, | 首先 |
| [07:54] | there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. | 好好照顾自己并没有错 |
| [07:58] | And second of all, | 其次 |
| [07:58] | manicure has the word “man,” like, right there in it. | 修指甲这个英文词里有”男人”这个词 |
| [08:03] | Well, now, you calm down manly man, | 那请你像个男人一样冷静一下 |
| [08:04] | or you’re gonna spill your chamomile tea. | 不然你的菊花茶就要洒了 |
| [08:06] | At least I’m the manliest man in this house, right? | 至少我是这个家里最男人的人吧 |
| [08:12] | What? | 怎么 |
| [08:13] | Really? I’m under Alan? | 难道我在艾伦”下面”吗 |
| [08:15] | Well, do you want to be on top of him? | 那你想在他”上面”吗 |
| [08:19] | What did Jenny tell you? | 珍妮跟你说了什么 |
| [08:20] | I was drowning! | 我当时溺水了 |
| [08:29] | ‘Sup, ladies? | 女士们 你们好啊 |
| [08:32] | Hey, look who it is: Bob the Builder. | 看看谁来了 巴布工程师啊[卡通人物] |
| [08:37] | Oh, yeah, it’s pretty manly, huh? | 是啊 很有男人味吧 |
| [08:40] | The only thing manlier would be | 唯一比这更有男人味的 |
| [08:42] | if you were dressed as the cop or the cowboy. | 估计是扮成警察或牛仔 |
| [08:45] | Why… are you gay? | 为啥搞基[YMCA] |
| [08:51] | Is this about the flat tire? | 是因为那个泄气的轮胎吗 |
| [08:52] | ‘Cause you have nothing to prove. | 其实你不用证明什么的 |
| [08:54] | Oh, I ain’t provin’ nothin’. | 我不是在证明什么 |
| [08:56] | Just being a guy. | 只是在做男人而已 |
| [08:57] | Doin’ what guys do, fixin’ things. | 做男人该做的事 修理东西 |
| [09:00] | And do not expect me | 你们不要期待我 |
| [09:00] | to get in touch with my emotions | 会有任何娘们情绪 |
| [09:02] | or ask for directions anytime soon. | 或者像娘们一样不认路 |
| [09:06] | Is that chewing tobacco? | 你在嚼烟草吗 |
| [09:08] | Yes, it is. | 是啊 |
| [09:11] | And it tastes terrible. | 味道真难吃 |
| [09:14] | And I’m feeling dizzy. | 我现在感觉晕乎乎的 |
| [09:17] | Wow, very impressive. | 好”厉害”啊 |
| [09:20] | You ain’t seen nothing yet. | 你还什么都没见识呢 |
| [09:23] | That there’s a laser. | 这是激光水平仪 |
| [09:25] | Badass. | 狠货啊 |
| [09:29] | Gee, oh, this here table is two degrees from being level. | 桌子与水平线有2度的夹角 |
| [09:32] | I got this! | 我知道怎么办 |
| [09:38] | There we go, job well done. | 行了 这就修好了 |
| [09:47] | I’m gonna need my band saw. | 现在要用带锯了 |
| [09:49] | You two clean this up. | 你们两个把这收拾干净 |
| [09:51] | Ladies’ work. | 这是娘们的活儿 |
| [09:56] | All right, I’m lubricated. | 好了 酒劲上来了 |
| [09:57] | Let’s do this thing. | 咱们开始吧 |
| [10:00] | So, uh, how was your dinner with Larry the other night? | 前几天和拉里的晚餐吃得好吗 |
| [10:03] | Fine. | 挺好的 |
| [10:04] | Where did you go? | 你们去哪吃的 |
| [10:05] | La Dolce. | 甜蜜生活 |
| [10:06] | – What did you guys have? – Salmon. | -吃的什么 -三文鱼 |
| [10:08] | Did Larry like it? | 拉里喜欢三文鱼吗 |
| [10:10] | Okay, talking about my boyfriend eating fish | 聊我男朋友吃鱼 |
| [10:12] | is the world’s worst foreplay. | 真是世界上最蹩脚的前戏 |
| [10:15] | Is he still eating fish, Lyndsey? | 这鱼他还在吃吗 林赛 |
| [10:21] | Is he? | 还在吃吗 |
| [10:24] | All right, what’s going on? | 好吧 发生什么了 |
| [10:25] | I’ll tell you what’s going on. | 我来告诉你发生什么了 |
| [10:27] | Larry told me you broke up with him. | 拉里告诉我 你跟他分手了 |
| [10:29] | For the love of God, you’re still seeing Larry?! | 我了个老天爷 你居然还跟拉里见面 |
| [10:31] | As Jeff Strongman? | 以杰夫的身份吗 |
| [10:33] | At least one of us is faithful to him. | 至少我们中还有一人没背叛他 |
| [10:37] | Why didn’t you tell me? | 你干嘛不告诉我 |
| [10:39] | I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d just ask | 我不告诉你是因为我知道你肯定会问 |
| [10:41] | when you and I are getting back together. | 我们什么时候复合 |
| [10:42] | That’s not true. | 才不会 |
| [10:44] | When are we getting back together? | 那我们什么时候复合呢 |
| [10:47] | Alan. | 艾伦 |
| [10:47] | Oh, this is what I’ve been waiting for | 我等了六个月 |
| [10:49] | for the last six months. | 终于等到了 |
| [10:50] | We-we can finally be together, honestly, openly. | 我们终于可以公开坦诚地在一起了 |
| [10:53] | I-I can prove to you | 我可以证明给你看 |
| [10:54] | I’m the man that you’re supposed to be with. | 你就应该跟我这种人在一起 |
| [10:56] | – I love you, Lyndsey. – Great. | -我爱你 林赛 -太棒了 |
| [10:59] | So you want to get married? | 那你想结婚吗 |
| [11:00] | Whoa, whoa, marriage? We just got back together. | 慢着 结婚 我们才刚复合而已 |
| [11:04] | You’re just like Larry. | 你就跟拉里一样 |
| [11:05] | Neither one of you are willing to commit. | 你们俩都不愿意做出承诺 |
| [11:07] | I’m just saying that maybe, you know, we should date a while. | 我只是说或许我们应该先约会一阵 |
| [11:09] | I mean, let’s be honest, you are a bit of an adulterer. | 老实说 你有背着男友偷人的前科 |
| [11:13] | This is why I’ve been avoiding this conversation. | 所以我才一直在回避这个话题 |
| [11:16] | You don’t want to get married, | 你既然不想结婚 |
| [11:17] | and I don’t want to be with you unless we do, so… | 那我就不能跟你在一起 除非你改变心意 |
| [11:20] | If that’s the case, I don’t know what else to say, Alan. | 如果要复合又不结婚的话 我不知道该说什么了 |
| [11:23] | Except… | 除了 |
| [11:26] | good-bye. | 分手吧 |
| [11:30] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [11:32] | Okay. I mean… | 那好 |
| [11:36] | Just so you know, when I walk out this door, | 先告诉你 一旦我走出这扇门 |
| [11:39] | I am never coming back. | 我就再也不会回来了 |
| [11:42] | This is the last you will see… | 这将是你最后一次看见 |
| [11:45] | of Alan Harper. | 艾伦·哈勃 |
| [12:12] | Breakup sex? | 来一发分手炮吗 |
| [12:36] | Hello. | 你好啊 |
| [12:38] | Oh. Sorry about that. Am I in your way? | 真是不好意思 我挡着你了吗 |
| [12:40] | The only thing in my way are those pants. | 唯一挡着我的是 你的裤子 |
| [12:42] | Oh, gee, sorry about that. | 真是不好意思 |
| [12:45] | About the only crack around here I ain’t put caulk in. | 那是个不需要塞填充物[阳具]的裂缝[屁股沟] |
| [12:51] | All right. | 好啦 |
| [12:53] | Look at that. Good as new. | 瞧瞧 跟新的一样 |
| [12:55] | Hey, if there’s anything around here that needs fixin’, | 如果这房子里有哪儿需要修理 |
| [12:58] | I’ll be the one fixin’ it. | 那肯定是我来修 |
| [12:59] | So if you see something that’s broke and bothering you, | 如果你看见有什么东西坏了 让你心烦 |
| [13:03] | you just let me know. | 记得告诉我 |
| [13:06] | I see something that’s broke and bothering me. | 我看见有东西坏了[破产] 让我觉得心烦 |
| [13:10] | I’m not in the mood, Berta. I just got dumped. | 我没心情跟你开玩笑 波塔 我刚被甩了 |
| [13:13] | Oh. What happened? | 发生什么事了 |
| [13:14] | Well, you know, I confronted Lyndsey about breaking up with Larry, | 我去质问林赛为什么跟拉里分手 |
| [13:17] | and it blew up in my face. | 结果就自作自受了 |
| [13:19] | Alan, Alan, Alan. | 艾伦呀艾伦 |
| [13:22] | You know, relationships are a lot like woodworking. | 恋爱就跟木工活一样 |
| [13:27] | There’s a certain way that things fit together, | 有一种特定的方法能让各部分组合在一起 |
| [13:29] | and if you force it, it splinters and falls apart. | 一旦你强迫它 它就会裂开 然后散掉 |
| [13:33] | But if you take your time, follow instructions, | 但如果你肯花时间 按说明书一步步来 |
| [13:35] | you build something beautiful and solid, | 那你建出来的东西就会又漂亮又结实 |
| [13:38] | something you can be proud of. | 并能让你深感自豪 |
| [13:40] | Like this here elegant cedar birdhouse. | 就像这个漂亮的雪松鸟屋 |
| [13:45] | What does this have to do with me and Lyndsey? | 这玩意跟我和林赛有什么关系 |
| [13:47] | Nothing. | 没关系 |
| [13:47] | But how cool is it I built this? | 但这鸟屋是我盖的 很酷吧 |
| [13:51] | It’s even got a guest room for the Alan birds. | 甚至还给艾伦鸟留了一间客房哦 |
| [13:53] | If you listen real close, you can hear them. | 如果你贴近仔细听 你能听到它们的声音 |
| [13:56] | Cheap, cheap. | 唧唧 我们都爱占便宜 |
| [14:08] | Isn’t this great? | 是不是很棒啊 |
| [14:09] | What’s cooler than going to a strip club in the daytime? | 有什么能比白天来脱衣舞俱乐部更酷 |
| [14:12] | The girls aren’t always hot, | 虽然白天班小妞比较次 |
| [14:13] | but the mozzarella sticks are. | 但它们的起司条却一如既往好吃 |
| [14:16] | Uh… yeah. | 唉 是啊 |
| [14:18] | You sound like me two weeks ago. | 你听起来就像两周前的我 |
| [14:20] | I made that noise every time I heard the name “Lyndsey.” | 我每次听到”林赛”两个字 都会忍不住叹气 |
| [14:24] | Yeah, that’s it. | 没错 就这样 |
| [14:26] | What’s going on? | 发生什么事了 |
| [14:28] | To be honest, I, uh… | 老实说 |
| [14:29] | had a bit of a breakup myself. | 我自己也算是被甩了 |
| [14:32] | Oh, geez. Mm. | 天啊 |
| [14:33] | And here I am whining about my problems. | 而我却只会抱怨自己的问题 |
| [14:35] | I’m sorry, Jeff. | 对不起 杰夫 |
| [14:36] | If I have a flaw, it’s that sometimes | 如果我有缺点 就是有时候 |
| [14:38] | I’m not aware of things that are going on around me. | 对自己身边发生的事情不是很敏感 |
| [14:41] | It’s actually one of the things I like most about you. | 这其实是我最喜欢的你的一点 |
| [14:45] | So, what happened between you and your girl? | 你和你女朋友怎么了 |
| [14:46] | Well, she wanted to get married, | 她想结婚 |
| [14:49] | – and I’m just not sure I’m ready. – No way! | -而我却不确定我是否准备好了 -不是吧 |
| [14:51] | That’s the same reason I lost Lyndsey. | 我跟林赛分手也是因为这个 |
| [14:53] | It’s like we were dating the same woman. | 感觉就像我们在跟同一个女人约会 |
| [14:55] | It’s exactly like that. | 正是如此 |
| [14:58] | – So, do you miss her? – Are you kidding? | -那你想她吗 -开什么玩笑 |
| [14:59] | I mean, she’s the only one for me. | 她是我命中注定的另一半 |
| [15:01] | I mean, she’s the one who brings me up when I’m down… | 当我处于低谷[疲软]时 是她让我站[硬]了起来 |
| [15:04] | Whoa. Hello, future Mrs. Strongman. | 哇 你好 未来的斯壮曼太太 |
| [15:08] | – So, what are you afraid of? – I don’t know. | -那你在怕什么 -我也不知道 |
| [15:10] | It’s just such a big commitment. | 婚姻是一个很重大的承诺 |
| [15:12] | Bottom line: do you still love her? | 关键是 你还爱她吗 |
| [15:14] | Yes, I do. | 当然爱 |
| [15:16] | Then you got to get her back. | 那你得把她追回来 |
| [15:17] | Don’t make the same mistake I did. | 不要犯跟我一样的错误 |
| [15:19] | Yeah, maybe you’re right. | 或许你说得对 |
| [15:19] | I know I’m right. Chances like this | 我知道我是对的 像这样的机会 |
| [15:21] | only come along once in a lifetime. | 每个人一辈子只有一次 |
| [15:23] | I’m gonna do it, Larry. | 我要去把她追回来 拉里 |
| [15:25] | I am gonna ask her to marry me. | 我要去向她求婚 |
| [15:27] | That-a-boy! And when things work out, | 乖孩子 等你成功了 |
| [15:29] | I’m gonna be the best man at you and your girl’s wedding. | 我要在你们的婚礼上 给你当伴郎 |
| [15:31] | Well… we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. | 等到了那一步再说这个问题吧 |
| [15:36] | – Want a private dance? – Oh, sorry, I can’t. | -想单独来一曲大腿舞吗 -抱歉 不了 |
| [15:39] | I have a date with destiny. | 我跟命运有约了 |
| [15:40] | Destiny’s off today. | “命运”今天没来上班啊 |
| [15:43] | Oh, no, I-I meant, uh, uh… Never mind. | 不 我是说 算了 |
| [15:45] | Why don’t you take my friend. It’s on me. | 你去我朋友腿上跳好了 我付钱 |
| [15:47] | Oh, I only have a 20. | 糟糕 我只有20块 |
| [15:49] | Uh, you know what? | 不过算了 |
| [15:51] | I think seven’s fair. | 我觉得7块就行了 |
| [16:01] | Walden? | 沃顿 |
| [16:04] | Sorry, ladies! | 对不起 女士们 |
| [16:06] | Man at work! | 男人在工作 |
| [16:08] | Wh-What are you doing? | 你在做什么 |
| [16:10] | Well, it’s a little technical for the layperson. | 对外行来说 技术性太强 |
| [16:14] | What the hell, let me walk you through it. | 管它呢 给你们解释解释 |
| [16:16] | What I’m doing is sanding and re-staining, | 我在磨光和重新上色 |
| [16:19] | when I recognized some dry rot and termite damage. | 当我看到有地方干腐和被白蚁损害时 |
| [16:22] | And I thought to myself, what the hell, | 我就想 管它的 |
| [16:24] | I got a couple hours– | 老子有的是时间 |
| [16:26] | why don’t I just rebuild this bad boy from scratch. | 不如我从头开始 重新建一个 |
| [16:32] | The bubbles tickle my nose. | 泡泡让我的鼻子好痒 |
| [16:35] | Okay, you know what? You got to stop building things. | 知道吗 你别再造东西了 |
| [16:37] | I was wrong– you are so manly | 我错了 你太男人了 |
| [16:38] | that if I were straight, I’d totally bang your brains out. | 如果我不是拉拉 我绝对上到你喊娘 |
| [16:41] | Well, of course you would, sweetheart. | 你当然会了 甜心 |
| [16:43] | But I’d probably sleep with you once | 但我或许上你一次后 |
| [16:44] | and then never call you again. | 就再也不给你打电话了 |
| [16:45] | Hold still, please. | 请别动 |
| [16:48] | Yep, they’re level. | 没错 是一样高的 |
| [16:58] | I’m just gonna rub some dirt in it and keep going. | 我会涂点泥巴继续干活 |
| [17:01] | Walden! Hey… | 沃顿 |
| [17:03] | What are you doing? | 你在做什么 |
| [17:05] | Oh, this? Well, | 这个吗 好吧 |
| [17:06] | it’s pretty technical for the layperson. | 对外行来说 技术性太强 |
| [17:09] | What the hell, let me just… | 管它呢 我来给你… |
| [17:10] | No, doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter. | 不重要 不重要 |
| [17:12] | Uh, I-I got big news. | 我有重大消息 |
| [17:14] | I am gonna ask Lyndsey to marry me. | 我要向林赛求婚 |
| [17:17] | Are you serious? | 你说真的吗 |
| [17:18] | Yeah, I just have to get a ring. | 对 我买枚戒指就成 |
| [17:20] | I got a ring you could have. | 我有枚戒指你可以用 |
| [17:21] | The one I proposed to Zoey with. | 我向佐伊求婚的那枚 |
| [17:23] | I don’t know, that ring didn’t work. | 行吗 那枚不管用 |
| [17:25] | Neither do you. | 你也不管用啊 |
| [17:26] | Touche? | 一针见血 |
| [17:29] | Well, I can’t believe my best friend’s getting married. | 真不敢相信我最好的朋友要结婚了 |
| [17:31] | All right, come on, bring it in. | 来吧 抱抱 |
| [17:33] | Man hug. | 爷们的拥抱 |
| [17:34] | Oh. Oh. You smell. | 你好臭 |
| [17:36] | Oh, yeah. It’s awesome, isn’t it? | 对 味道好赞 对吗 |
| [17:38] | I haven’t showered in two days. | 我两天没洗澡了 |
| [17:39] | That’s what guys do– we stank. | 男人就是这样 咱们是臭男人 |
| [17:44] | You smell good… | 你真香 |
| [17:46] | bitch. | 贱妇 |
| [17:55] | Ladies love flowers. | 女人爱花 |
| [18:08] | Oh, hey, Jeff! | 你好 杰夫 |
| [18:10] | Why are you calling me Jeff? | 你为什么叫我杰夫 |
| [18:12] | You must be here to see your friend Larry, | 你一定是来这里找你朋友拉里的 |
| [18:14] | who is also here. | 因为他也在这里 |
| [18:16] | Jeff? What are you doing here? | 杰夫 你怎么来了 |
| [18:18] | Larry! | 拉里 |
| [18:20] | I-I just, uh, I came by to-to… | 我只是过来 |
| [18:22] | yell at this one over here | 来骂这个家伙 |
| [18:25] | for breaking up with my friend Larry. | 居然和我的朋友拉里分手 |
| [18:27] | Can you think of a better reason for me to drop by? | 你能想到我来的更好理由吗 |
| [18:29] | ‘Cause I certainly can’t. | 反正我是想不到了 |
| [18:32] | Well, now that you’re here, why don’t you have a drink with us. | 既然你来了 和我们喝一杯吧 |
| [18:34] | Oh, I-I’m sure Jeff has better places to be. | 我相信杰夫还有更值得去的地方 |
| [18:37] | Work, nope. Girlfriend, nope. | 工作 没 女友 没 |
| [18:39] | Taste in jewelry, nope. | 对珠宝的品味 没 |
| [18:41] | Here you go. | 给你 |
| [18:43] | Bottoms up, Lyndsey. | 干杯吧[屁屁翘起来] 林赛 |
| [18:44] | Not the first time I’ve said that to her. | 我不是第一次对她说这话 |
| [18:49] | What’s this? | 这是什么 |
| [18:50] | A ring? | 戒指 |
| [18:53] | What’s going on? | 这是怎么回事 |
| [18:56] | Yeah, what is going on? | 对 到底怎么回事 |
| [18:59] | Jeff helped me realize I don’t want to lose you. | 杰夫让我意识到 我不想失去你 |
| [19:02] | These last two weeks | 过去这两周 |
| [19:03] | have been the worst in my life. | 是我人生最难熬的日子 |
| [19:05] | I don’t want to spend another minute without you. | 我不想再和你分开一分钟 |
| [19:08] | Okay, I think she’s heard enough. | 我想她听够了 |
| [19:09] | Let’s go get some wings. Come on. | 咱们去吃鸡翅 快 |
| [19:10] | Ooh, wings. | 鸡翅 |
| [19:12] | Just let me wrap this up real quick. | 让我快点把这个搞完 |
| [19:16] | Lyndsey MacElroy, you’re my soul mate. | 林赛·麦克罗伊 你是我的灵魂伴侣 |
| [19:19] | Will you marry me? | 你愿意嫁给我吗 |
| [19:21] | I can’t believe this is happening. | 真不敢相信这是真的 |
| [19:22] | Yes, yes, I will marry you! | 愿意愿意 我愿意嫁给你 |
| [19:29] | So, Jeff, how’d it go with your girl? | 杰夫 你和女友如何了 |
| [19:32] | I was too late. | 我太迟了 |
| [19:34] | She’s marrying someone else. | 她要嫁给别人了 |
| [19:36] | – That was quick. – Wasn’t it? | -太快了吧 -谁说不是呢 |
| [19:39] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [19:41] | You know what? Forget her. | 知道吗 忘了她吧 |
| [19:43] | If she chose some jackass over you, | 如果她选混蛋都不选你 |
| [19:45] | she’s just a dumb whore. | 她只是个蠢贱人罢了 |
| [19:48] | Uh, she’s-she’s actually really great. | 其实她真的很棒 |
| [19:50] | No, she’s not. | 才不是 |
| [19:51] | She and her new man are both garbage. | 她和她的新男人都是人渣 |
| [20:08] | Whoa, look at this. | 看这个 |
| [20:10] | That’s right. | 没错 |
| [20:13] | Who has one and a half thumbs | 是谁只有一个半拇指 |
| [20:15] | and built this deck all by himself? | 却独立把这个阳台造出来 |
| [20:17] | This guy. | 这个家伙 |
| [20:20] | Well, I’m impressed. | 太厉害了 |
| [20:21] | I would’ve had to call a guy. | 如果是我 就会打电话叫人 |
| [20:23] | Well, then my phone would’ve rang, | 那我的电话就会响 |
| [20:25] | because I am the guy. | 因为我就是那个人 |
| [20:27] | Got to admit, I was wrong about you. | 我得承认 看错你了 |
| [20:29] | That’s all right. We all make mistakes. | 没关系 是人就会犯错 |
| [20:33] | Oh! That’s my spit cup. | 这是我吐口水的瓶子 |
| [20:36] | This thing feels sturdy enough for us | 这东西感觉蛮结实的嘛 |
| [20:38] | – to have sex on later. – Oh, it is. | -我们晚点可以在上面做爱 -是的 |
| [20:40] | But, uh, be careful, | 但要小心 |
| [20:42] | ’cause I just stained her. | 我刚给她染色[玷污] |
| [20:44] | Well, if you hadn’t, we would have. | 就算你没有 我们也会 |
| [20:50] | Ah. Look at that. | 看那里 |
| [20:53] | Looks like somebody needs a new roof. | 看来某人需要新的屋顶 |
| [20:55] | Luckily, I know a guy. | 幸好我认识某个能人 |
| [21:09] | Whoa. Walden? | 沃顿 |
| [21:11] | Call a guy! | 打电话叫人 |