| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:05] | Are you eating cookie dough? | 你在吃饼干面团吗 |
| [00:06] | Yup. It’s my favorite recipe. | 是啊 这是我最喜欢做的菜 |
| [00:08] | All you need is cookie dough and weed. | 只需要饼干面团和大麻就行 |
| [00:11] | So the only thing you have to bake is yourself. | 唯一需要烤[嗨]的就是你自己吧 |
| [00:14] | It’s very efficient. | 很有效率 |
| [00:15] | It causes the munchies and then immediately cures them. | 大麻会让我很想吃东西 然后食到瘾除 |
| [00:20] | What do you know? They found my car. | 世事难料啊 他们找到了我的车 |
| [00:22] | You lost your car? | 你的车丢了吗 |
| [00:23] | What the hell’s your cookie dough laced with? | 你的饼干面团里掺了什么啊 |
| [00:26] | No, I found this company | 不 我找到了一家公司 |
| [00:27] | and they help you locate old vehicles. | 他们能帮你定位旧车 |
| [00:30] | It’s called Dude, Where’s My Car? | 公司名叫”哥们 我的车呢” |
| [00:33] | So what’s so great about this thing? | 这有什么值得赞叹的呀 |
| [00:35] | I don’t know. It’s my first car. I got a lot of firsts in it. | 我不知道 这是我第一辆车 里面有很多第一次 |
| [00:37] | First time I learned to drive. | 第一次学会开车 |
| [00:39] | First time I had sex. | 第一次做爱 |
| [00:41] | First time I had a condom break. | 第一次碰上套套破 |
| [00:44] | First time I prayed. | 第一次祈祷 |
| [00:46] | So you gonna buy this car? | 你要买这辆车吗 |
| [00:48] | No. Some guy named Dirk in Denver has it. | 不要 在丹佛一个叫德克的人手里 |
| [00:51] | So why go through all the effort | 如果你不想买下来 |
| [00:53] | of tracking it down if you don’t want it? | 为什么要煞费苦心追踪它的位置呢 |
| [00:55] | Nostalgia? | 怀旧之情啊 |
| [00:56] | It’s kind of like… | 就像是… |
| [00:58] | looking up your first girlfriend, | 看着你第一个女友 |
| [01:00] | or your high school math teacher. | 或者是高中数学老师 |
| [01:01] | For me, those were one and the same. | 我的第一个女友就是高中数学老师 |
| [01:05] | She still writes me from prison. | 她还有持续从监狱里给我写信呢 |
| [01:09] | I think my math teacher had a crush on my me, too. | 我觉得我的数学老师也喜欢我 |
| [01:11] | I mean, why else would he ask me to take a shower | 不然数学小组练习后 |
| [01:13] | after math team practice? | 他为啥要我洗澡呢 |
| [01:17] | Oh, oh, good, everybody’s here. | 真好 大家都在啊 |
| [01:18] | Uh, I would now like to introduce my girlfriend, | 我向大家介绍一下我的女友 |
| [01:21] | the very fetchin’ Gretchen. | 性感尤物格雷琴 |
| [01:24] | Hey, everybody. | 大家好 |
| [01:25] | Hi, I’m Walden. | 我是沃顿 |
| [01:26] | – It’s nice to finally meet you. – Yeah. | -很高兴终于见到你了 -是啊 |
| [01:27] | Alan, uh, told me that you work | 艾伦告诉我你在 |
| [01:29] | in an animal shelter, taking in strays. | 动物收容所工作 接纳流浪动物 |
| [01:31] | – So we have a lot in common. – Yeah. | -看来我们有很多相似之处啊 -是啊 |
| [01:36] | Uh, this is my-my niece Jenny. | 这是我侄女珍妮 |
| [01:38] | And we met. | 我们见过了 |
| [01:39] | I’m Barry, Walden’s youthful ward. | 我是巴里 沃顿的年轻守卫 |
| [01:41] | It’s really nice to meet all of you. | 终于见到了你们 这真好 |
| [01:42] | God, this place is amazing. | 天啊 这房子太棒了 |
| [01:44] | How do you afford the rent, Alan? | 你怎么付得起房租的 艾伦 |
| [01:48] | What’s so funny? | 有什么好笑的 |
| [01:49] | Well, I-I don’t pay rent, per se. | 我自己不付房租 |
| [01:52] | Or per month. | 每月也不付 |
| [01:54] | Or per year. | 每年也不付 |
| [01:56] | Really? No rent? | 真的吗 不付房租 |
| [01:58] | How long has that been going on? | 这等好事持续了多久 |
| [01:59] | Three years with Walden, eight years with my dad. | 沃顿受了三年罪 我爹受了八年 |
| [02:02] | You have been living here for 11 years for free? | 你在这里免费住了11年吗 |
| [02:05] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [02:06] | I have never wanted you more. | 真是让我欲火焚身啊 |
| [02:09] | Who’s my cheap daddy? | 谁是我的小气爹爹 |
| [02:11] | Would you like to see the bedroom I don’t pay for? | 你想看看不要房租的卧室吗 |
| [02:13] | Would you like to see my boobs I bought with a Groupon? | 你想看看我用团购券买的咪咪吗 |
| [02:18] | Will you let me get my grope on? | 你愿意让我用我的团摸卷吗 |
| [02:21] | Nice to meet you, Gretchen. Make yourself at home. | 见到你很高兴 格雷琴 当成是自己家哦 |
| [02:24] | I’ve got to stop saying that. | 我得停止说这句话了 |
| [02:26] | So, what do you say we hop on your plane, | 不如我们坐上你的飞机 |
| [02:28] | head over to Denver and at least look at this car? | 飞去丹佛 看看这辆车吧 |
| [02:31] | You know you want to. | 你知道你想去的 |
| [02:32] | You guys just want to go to Colorado | 你们只是想去科罗拉多州 |
| [02:34] | ’cause pot is legal there. | 因为在那里大麻是合法的 |
| [02:35] | What? It’s-It’s legal? | 什么 是合法的吗 |
| [02:37] | They legalized marijuana in Colorado? | 大麻在科罗拉多州是合法化了吗 |
| [02:40] | You say up to three ounces? | 可以带三盎司那么多吗 |
| [02:43] | Look, we’re not going to Denver to look at a car | 我们才不要去丹佛看一辆车 |
| [02:45] | and bring home three ounces of pot. | 然后带回来三盎司大麻 |
| [02:47] | Yeah, but if we go with you, | 是啊 如果我们和你一起去 |
| [02:49] | we can bring back nine ounces. | 就能带回九盎司 |
| [02:52] | Fire up the jet. | 发动飞机吧 |
| [03:09] | Well, guess who just joined the Mile High Club. | 看看谁刚加入了空中高潮俱乐部 |
| [03:14] | No, it doesn’t count when you do it alone. | 你一个人爽就不算 |
| [03:17] | Oh, it counted… twice. | 算 还有两次呢 |
| [03:20] | Up top. | 击掌吧 |
| [03:22] | – No! – Not gonna happen. | -不 -想都别想 |
| [03:26] | This is crazy. | 这太疯狂了 |
| [03:27] | There’s no way my old car is worth the cost of | 我的旧车完全不值得 |
| [03:29] | flying all the way to Denver and putting in a new bathroom. | 飞去丹佛和换新卫生间的费用 |
| [03:34] | We can’t turn back now. | 我们现在不能调头回去了 |
| [03:35] | I canceled an audition for this trip. | 为了这次旅行 我取消了试镜呢 |
| [03:37] | You’re kidding, right? | 你在开玩笑 对吧 |
| [03:39] | The part was Dead Junkie Number Two. | 角色是死去的吸毒女二号 |
| [03:41] | Although, I did buy painkillers to get into character. | 不过 我买了止痛药来融入角色 |
| [03:46] | It doesn’t matter what the role is. | 什么角色不重要 |
| [03:49] | This job leads to the next, | 这份工作会让你接到下一个 |
| [03:51] | and you’re playing Dead Junkie Number One. | 然后你就在演死去的吸毒女一号了 |
| [03:53] | And before you know it, you’re playing a live junkie! | 很快 你就会饰演活着的吸毒女了 |
| [03:56] | And then what? | 然后呢 |
| [03:57] | Win a bunch of Oscars, | 赢得几项奥斯卡奖 |
| [03:59] | get rich, fly around on a private plane? | 一夜暴富 坐着私人飞机到处飞 |
| [04:02] | Oh, look, I skipped to the end! | 瞧 我直奔最后了 |
| [04:05] | So what kind of car are we going to look at? | 我们要看的是什么车啊 |
| [04:06] | You can thank me later for changing the subject. | 你可以谢谢我换了话题 |
| [04:10] | It’s a 1967 Mustang with a 289 V-8, | 1967年野马 配备提供289马力的V8引擎 |
| [04:13] | a Holley four-barrel carb and positraction. | 霍利四管汽化器和限滑差速器 |
| [04:17] | What does that mean? | 那是什么意思 |
| [04:18] | I have no idea. | 我完全不知道 |
| [04:20] | My dad used to say it all the time | 我和我爸修车时 |
| [04:22] | when we were working on the car. | 他一直在念叨这些东西 |
| [04:24] | I like to think that it | 我倾向于觉得 |
| [04:25] | was one of his ways of saying, “I love you.” | 这是他表达我爱你的方式 |
| [04:27] | Another was, “Why is Daddy’s beer empty?” | 另一种方式是 为什么老爸的啤酒瓶空了 |
| [04:30] | I totally get it. | 我完全明白 |
| [04:31] | My dad’s coded “I love you” Was, | 我爸爸表达我爱你的方式是 |
| [04:33] | “Seriously? You can’t catch a football one damn time?” | 没搞错吧 你就不能接到一次橄榄球吗 |
| [04:39] | So you worked on this with your dad. | 你和你爸爸一起修的车啊 |
| [04:41] | Apparently, there’s an emotional connection with this car. | 显然 你对这辆车有感情 |
| [04:43] | It’s a mixed emotion. | 感情很复杂啦 |
| [04:45] | It took us two years to restore it. | 花了我们两年时间才修好 |
| [04:49] | When it was finished, it was cherry. | 修好后它就焕然一新了[樱桃] |
| [04:50] | Of course, Cherry was also the name of the stripper | 当然 樱桃就是一个脱衣舞女的名字 |
| [04:53] | that he drove off with when he left me and my mom. | 我爸离开了我和我妈 和她驾车私奔了 |
| [04:55] | Wait– so why would you want to buy something | 等等 你为什么会想买 |
| [04:57] | that caused you so much pain? | 给你造成如此痛苦的东西 |
| [04:59] | I mean, that’d be like me buying the senior prom. | 那就像是我买下高中舞会一样 |
| [05:02] | It was on my 16th birthday. | 那是在我16岁生日的时候 |
| [05:05] | I go outside the house… | 我出门 |
| [05:07] | and there’s that car | 这辆车 |
| [05:08] | sitting in the driveway. | 就停在车道上 |
| [05:10] | No sign of my dad, though. | 但是没看到我爸爸 |
| [05:11] | It was still the best birthday ever. | 那仍然是最棒的生日 |
| [05:13] | Well, until my mom took a baseball bat to the windshield. | 直到我妈妈操起棒球棒对着挡风玻璃扑去 |
| [05:16] | You know what my dad got me for my 16th birthday? | 你知道我爸送我的16岁生日礼物是什么吗 |
| [05:18] | A box of condoms and a card that said, | 一盒安全套 还有一张卡片 写着 |
| [05:20] | “Don’t make the same mistake I did.” | “别重蹈我的覆辙” |
| [05:23] | He was a joker. | 他超搞笑 |
| [05:26] | How about you, Jenny? | 你呢 珍妮 |
| [05:29] | Oh, she would’ve nailed Dead Junkie Number Two! | 她超适合演死去的吸毒女二号 |
| [05:35] | What a great idea: | 真是个好主意 |
| [05:37] | having sex in every room in the house. | 在每个房间里做爱 |
| [05:40] | Well, to be fair, the laundry room was more you sitting on the dryer | 说实话 在洗衣房里基本上是你坐在干衣机上 |
| [05:42] | – while I took a breather. – Yeah. | -而我短暂休息了一下 -是啊 |
| [05:45] | Next time, I think I’m gonna throw in a pair of snow boots. | 下次我想扔一双雪地靴进去 |
| [05:47] | – You know, boom-boom-boom-boom-boom! – Yeah. | -砰砰砰砰砰 -我知道 |
| [05:51] | One of the advantages of being here alone. | 单独在房子里的一个好处 |
| [05:53] | Kind of makes a man want to buy a place of his own. | 就是让人想买一所自己的房子 |
| [05:59] | Nah, I’m gonna die here, I really am. | 不 我要赖死在这里 真的 |
| [06:02] | So, uh, what do you want to do tonight? | 你今晚想干什么 |
| [06:04] | You know, besides this guy. | 除了想干我 |
| [06:06] | I would love to spend the night doing this guy, | 我很乐意今晚干你 |
| [06:08] | but we promised Lyndsey and Larry we’d meet ’em. | 但我们和林赛还有拉里说好了要去见他们 |
| [06:10] | Remember, karaoke? | 记得吗 去唱K |
| [06:12] | Oh, that’s right. | 对哦 |
| [06:13] | Oh, hey, hey, maybe we can use | 也许我们可以用 |
| [06:14] | my Halloween costumes from last year. | 我去年的万圣节戏服 |
| [06:16] | You know, Donny and Marie? | 唐尼和玛丽[兄妹团体] |
| [06:17] | Although I’m not sure you’d fit into Walden’s Donny outfit. | 虽然我不确定你能穿上沃顿的唐尼戏服 |
| [06:22] | You know, I was thinking tonight would be a great time | 我想着今晚是个很好的时机 |
| [06:25] | to tell Larry that you’re not Jeff Strongman, | 来告诉拉里你不是杰夫·斯壮曼 |
| [06:27] | that you’re really Alan Harper. | 你其实是艾伦·哈勃 |
| [06:29] | Oh, that’s funny because I was thinking | 真好笑 因为我在想 |
| [06:31] | tonight might be a great night to not ruin four people’s lives. | 今晚最好别毁了四个人的生活 |
| [06:34] | He’s my brother, Alan. | 他是我哥哥 艾伦 |
| [06:35] | I can’t just keep lying to him. | 我不能一直对他撒谎 |
| [06:37] | I lied to my brother all the time. It worked out great. | 我一直都对我哥撒谎 效果很好 |
| [06:40] | Your brother’s dead. | 你哥哥都死了 |
| [06:41] | I didn’t say it worked out great for everybody. | 我又没说对其他人都很好 |
| [06:50] | Are you Dirk? | 你是德克吗 |
| [06:51] | Are you a cop? | 你是警察吗 |
| [06:52] | – No. – Then I’m Dirk. | -不是 -那我是德克 |
| [06:54] | I’m Walden Schmidt. I called about the car. | 我是沃顿·施密特 我打电话问过车的事情 |
| [06:57] | Actually, on the phone, you asked if I was a cop. | 实际上 在电话上你就问过我是不是警察 |
| [06:59] | And then you asked me if I wanted to buy any weed. | 然后你问我是否想买点大麻 |
| [07:01] | Yeah, that’s the right order to ask those questions. | 对啊 这是问问题的正确顺序嘛 |
| [07:04] | I learned that the hard way. | 经过惨痛教训才学到的 |
| [07:07] | These your kids? | 他们是你的孩子吗 |
| [07:10] | No. | 不是 |
| [07:11] | Are they mine? | 难不成是我的 |
| [07:14] | Hey, uh, is this the car? | 这就是那辆车吗 |
| [07:16] | Yeah, let me take her top off for you. | 是的 我掀开车衣给你看看 |
| [07:18] | You’re about to see one hot car. | 你会看到一辆超级带劲的香车 |
| [07:24] | Where, behind this piece of crap? | 在哪儿 藏在这部烂车后面吗 |
| [07:26] | She’s not that pretty, but she gets the job done. | 车不漂亮 但很好用 |
| [07:29] | Just like my old lady. | 就像我老婆一样 |
| [07:31] | Hey, that’s not bad. | 一点也不差 |
| [07:32] | She’s not that pretty, but she gets the job done. | 她没那么漂亮 但很好用 |
| [07:35] | I’d like to escape, but I’m too old to run! | 我想逃 但老得跑不动 |
| [07:39] | Yeah, that’s a hit! | 那肯定很热销 |
| [07:41] | So is this your car? | 这就是你那辆车吗 |
| [07:43] | Yeah. | 对啊 |
| [07:44] | It’s still got the Vote For Bush bumper sticker on it. | 车尾还贴着给布什拉票的贴纸呢 |
| [07:47] | You were a Republican? | 你是共和党人吗 |
| [07:49] | No, my friends and I just thought it was funny. | 不 我和朋友们只是觉得好玩 |
| [07:51] | You know, “Bush”? | 因为布什即灌木丛嘛 |
| [07:54] | Tell you what, I love Bush. | 告诉你啊 我爱布什[阴毛] |
| [07:57] | You and me both. | 我跟你一样 |
| [08:01] | She’s got a lot of wear and tear on her. | 车身多处磨损 |
| [08:03] | Not much to look at. | 没几处完好的 |
| [08:04] | Looks like it was rear-ended. | 看上去好像被追尾了 |
| [08:06] | Just like my old lady. | 就像我老婆一样 |
| [08:10] | But she’s got new headlights and a roomy backseat. | 但前灯是新的 后座很宽敞 |
| [08:12] | Just like your old lady? | 就像你老婆一样吧 |
| [08:13] | Hey! That’s the mother of three of my five kids! | 那可是我五个孩子里其中三个的妈 |
| [08:18] | Anyway, this bad boy can still get up to a buck ten. | 不管怎么说 这辆破车还是可以开到110码 |
| [08:21] | Yeah, maybe if the truck towing it was going 110. | 是啊 也许有辆卡车拖着 才能开到110码 |
| [08:24] | You don’t believe me, I refer you | 你不相信我 不信你就看 |
| [08:25] | to World’s Wildest Police Chases, episode 139. | 《世界警车追逐之最》第139集 |
| [08:30] | Whoa, what died in here? | 什么东西在里面死掉了 |
| [08:32] | My granddad. | 我爷爷 |
| [08:35] | The seat belt got jammed, | 安全带卡住了 |
| [08:36] | we had to leave him in there for a couple of days. | 我们不得不留他在里面待几天 |
| [08:39] | Okay, well, hey, thank you for showing us the car. | 好吧 谢谢你带我们看车 |
| [08:42] | Whoa, hang on, hang on. | 等一下 等一下 |
| [08:45] | How much do you want for it? | 你想卖多少 |
| [08:46] | Uh, uh, uh, what are you doing? | 你在干什么 |
| [08:49] | I’ll take $1,800 unless you can | 我要卖1800美元 除非你能 |
| [08:50] | come up with some kind of other arrangement. | 想出点其他的”安排” |
| [08:54] | How about you? | 那你呢 |
| [08:56] | No! | 我不要 |
| [08:59] | $1,800 it is, then. | 那就1800美元了 |
| [09:00] | I’m not… I’m not buying this car. | 我不打算买这车 |
| [09:03] | Walden, this car is a piece of your life. | 沃顿 这辆车是你生命的一部分 |
| [09:05] | It doesn’t mean anything to anybody else | 它对世界上的任何人都没有 |
| [09:07] | in the world except you. | 任何意义 除了你 |
| [09:11] | All right, I’ll give you $1,800. | 好吧 我付你1800美元 |
| [09:13] | Dude, you didn’t haggle. It’s no good unless you haggle. | 哥们 你没砍价 不砍价不好玩 |
| [09:17] | Okay, uh, fine. $1,600. | 好 那1600美元 |
| [09:20] | $1,700. | 1700美元 |
| [09:21] | Deal. $1,700. | 成交 1700美元 |
| [09:23] | Yeah! | 太好了 |
| [09:26] | I was just gonna give you $1,800. | 我刚才可是要给你1800美元 |
| [09:28] | That’s the thing about haggling, dude. | 关键是砍价 伙计 |
| [09:29] | Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. | 总会有时赢 有时输 |
| [09:34] | We definitely have to get some of this guy’s weed. | 这货的大麻肯定给劲 必需得买 |
| [09:39] | * Hey, will you love me forever? * | * 你会永远爱我吗 * |
| [09:44] | * Let me sleep on it * | * 让我考虑一下 * |
| [09:45] | * Will you love me forever? * | * 你会永远爱我吗 * |
| [09:46] | * Let me sleep on it * | * 让我考虑一下 * |
| [09:48] | * Will you love me forever? * | * 你会永远爱我吗 * |
| [09:49] | * I couldn’t take it any longer * | * 我受不了了 * |
| [09:50] | * Lord, I was crazed * | * 主啊 我疯了 * |
| [09:52] | * And then the feeling came upon me like a tidal wave * | * 那感觉像浪潮一样涌来 * |
| [09:55] | * I started swearing to my God on my mother’s grave * | * 我开始以死去妈妈的名义发誓 * |
| [09:57] | * that I would love you till the end of time * | * 我会爱你到地老天荒 * |
| [10:00] | * I swore I’d love you till the end of time! * | * 我发誓爱你到地老天荒 * |
| [10:03] | Yeah! | 太棒了 |
| [10:05] | Gretchen, Jeff! | 格雷琴 杰夫 |
| [10:07] | Follow that, bitches. | 接着上 小淫娃们 |
| [10:10] | Come on, Lyndsey, it’s our turn. | 来啊 林赛 该我们了 |
| [10:11] | * Who let the dogs out? * | * 谁把狗狗们放出来了 * |
| [10:14] | * Woof, woof. Woof, woof * | * 汪 汪 汪 汪 * |
| [10:17] | Come on. You can do better than that. | 来嘛 你可以唱得更好的 |
| [10:18] | Larry, do I look like I want to do better than that? | 拉里 我看起来像是想唱得更好吗 |
| [10:20] | Ooh, last time I saw that face, | 上次我见到这个表情 |
| [10:22] | I forgot to pick up wine. | 是因为我忘了买酒 |
| [10:24] | Boy, was I in the doghouse that night. Hey! | 那天晚上进狗窝的就是我啊 |
| [10:27] | * Who’s in the doghouse? * | * 谁在狗窝里 * |
| [10:30] | * Who-who-who-who? * | * 谁 谁 谁 谁* |
| [10:32] | That’s what I’m talking about! | 就是要这个感觉 |
| [10:33] | Come on. Let’s show ’em how | 来 让他们看看 |
| [10:34] | you and your brother do it doggy style. | 看咱兄妹俩秀一手”狗爬式” |
| [10:39] | He doesn’t really hear himself, does he? | 他不知道自己在说什么 是吧 |
| [10:42] | Why are you here? | 你来这里干什么 |
| [10:44] | I’ve told you a hundred times, I don’t want | 我跟你说过100遍了 我不想 |
| [10:46] | to double-date with Gretchen and Jeff Strongman. | 与格雷琴和杰夫·斯壮曼一起双人约会 |
| [10:48] | Well, you won’t have to anymore. | 以后再也不会了 |
| [10:50] | Guess who’s gonna tell Larry the truth tonight. | 你猜今晚谁会告诉拉里真相 |
| [10:52] | * Who-who-who-who? * | * 谁 谁 谁 谁 * |
| [10:56] | What do you mean? | 你什么意思 |
| [10:58] | I told Gretchen who I really am. | 我已经告诉格雷琴我的真实身份了 |
| [11:00] | I was tired of living a lie | 我厌倦了活着谎言中 |
| [11:02] | and sneaking around, being dishonest. | 偷偷摸摸 不诚实的生活 |
| [11:04] | I’m better than that. | 我不至于那么差劲 |
| [11:05] | – She caught you. – Yes. Yes, she did. | -是她发现了 -是的 被她发现了 |
| [11:07] | But it felt good to get it off my chest. | 但是说出实话的感觉很好 |
| [11:10] | If you tell Larry who you really are, | 如果你告诉拉里你的真实身份 |
| [11:13] | then he’s gonna wonder why I didn’t tell him. | 他就会问我为什么瞒着他 |
| [11:15] | And that’s not something I want to deal with | 我可不想在婚期只有不到 |
| [11:17] | less than two weeks before we’re supposed to get married. | 两周的时候处理这样一件事情 |
| [11:19] | God, is it two weeks? | 天哪 只剩两周吗 |
| [11:21] | Boy, I better find those rings. | 我最好赶快找到戒指 |
| [11:22] | Alan, you’re not gonna say a thing about | 艾伦 你不能对你的真实身份 |
| [11:25] | who you really are. | 透露半点风声 |
| [11:26] | I’m sorry, but I already promised Gretchen. | 很抱歉 但我已经答应格雷琴了 |
| [11:28] | And-and the fact of the matter is | 而且事实是 |
| [11:29] | you and I aren’t in a relationship anymore, | 我和你已经不在一起了 |
| [11:31] | so you no longer have me by the balls! | 我对你就没有”罩门”了 |
| [11:42] | * Dial 1-900-mix-a-lot* | * 拨1-900-mix-a-lot[爽一炮] * |
| [11:44] | * and kick them nasty thoughts. Baby got back! * | * 抛开欲望 宝贝屁股特翘 * |
| [11:53] | Come on, Larry, let’s show ’em how we do it. | 来 拉里 让他们看看我们怎么唱的 |
| [11:55] | There you go! | 这就对了嘛 |
| [11:56] | Menstrual cramps can’t stop my lady! | 痛经也无法阻挡我的爱人 |
| [11:59] | It’s Larry-oke time! | 到了拉里OK时间啦 |
| [12:06] | * Ow! I feel good * | * 感觉棒呆了 * |
| [12:09] | * I knew that I would now * | * 我知道我现在会 * |
| [12:12] | So, did you talk to Larry yet? | 你跟拉里说了吗 |
| [12:14] | Uh, well, you know, I was, I was running | 刚才我把 |
| [12:16] | this whole thing by Lyndsey, and, um… | 整件事情说给林赛讨论 |
| [12:17] | Whoa, wait. Why would you run it by Lyndsey? | 等等 你为什么要跟林赛讨论 |
| [12:21] | You know, she is the one getting married, | 她马上要结婚了 |
| [12:23] | and I didn’t want to spring it on her | 我不想吓到她 |
| [12:24] | because Lyndsey is not the girl you want to get angry | 因为林赛不是那种让你发脾气的女孩 |
| [12:26] | unless you’re about to have sex with her, | 除非你要跟她上床 |
| [12:27] | ’cause then she turns into a freak, | 因为那时她会反复无常 |
| [12:28] | and I don’t know why I’m saying this. | 而我不知道自己为什么要说这些 |
| [12:30] | I know why. | 我知道为什么 |
| [12:31] | Because you still have feelings for her. | 因为你对她还有感情 |
| [12:33] | That’s crazy. I just, I think | 这太疯狂了 我只是觉得 |
| [12:35] | it’s the right thing to do, that’s all. | 这样做是对的 仅此而已 |
| [12:37] | Oh, my God. | 天哪 |
| [12:39] | That is why you invented Jeff Strongman in the first place, | 这就是你最初编造杰夫·斯壮曼的原因 |
| [12:42] | was to win Lyndsey back. | 都是为了挽回林赛 |
| [12:45] | Feelings like that don’t just disappear. | 这样的感情不会说没就没的 |
| [12:47] | Sure, they do. There’s a lot of things | 当然会啊 很多东西 |
| [12:48] | I used to love that I don’t love anymore: | 我曾经深爱 现在却不爱了 |
| [12:49] | uh, roller coasters, dairy, my mother. | 过山车 牛奶 我妈 |
| [12:52] | This isn’t funny, Alan. | 这并不好玩 艾伦 |
| [12:54] | Well, I-I was just saying… | 我刚才是说 |
| [12:55] | No, listen to me. | 不 听我说 |
| [12:56] | Look, if you want to run everything by your ex-girlfriend | 如果你想什么都跟你前女友说 |
| [12:59] | and not tell Larry the truth, then so be it. | 但不告诉拉里真相 那就这么干吧 |
| [13:02] | – But I don’t want anything to do with it. – Wait, Gretchen… | -但我不想跟这件事或者你这个人 -等一下 格雷琴 |
| [13:03] | Or you. | 有任何关系 |
| [13:05] | Gretchen. Gretchen, wait! | 格雷琴 格雷琴 等等 |
| [13:07] | * I feel good * | * 感觉棒呆了 * |
| [13:11] | * I knew that I would now * | * 我知道我现在会 * |
| [13:13] | Come on, Jeff, you know the words. | 来 杰夫 你知道歌词的 |
| [13:14] | * So good, so good * | * 棒呆了 棒呆了 * |
| [13:18] | * I’m gonna die alone * | * 我会孤独终老 * |
| [13:24] | Aren’t you glad I made you do this? | 我劝你买下这辆车你不开心吗 |
| [13:26] | Yeah. Having déjà vu. | 开心啊 有种似曾相识的感觉 |
| [13:29] | My dad used to let me sit on his lap and steer. | 以前我爸会让我坐在他腿上开车 |
| [13:32] | Yeah, my dad wasn’t around much. | 我老爸不常在身边 |
| [13:34] | I had to teach myself all those things that dads teach you: | 所有爸爸教孩子的东西 我都不得不自学 |
| [13:37] | how to ride a bike, how to shave, | 怎样骑车 怎样修面 |
| [13:39] | how to change a tire, how to masturbate. | 怎样换轮胎 怎样手淫 |
| [13:42] | What? | 什么 |
| [13:43] | No, dads don’t teach you how to masturbate. | 不 老爸们不会教你怎样手淫的 |
| [13:47] | I’m glad somebody told me before I had kids. | 幸好我有孩子前有人告诉了我 |
| [13:50] | This thing is actually really cool. | 这车其实很棒 |
| [13:52] | What made you sell it in the first place? | 你当初为什么要卖了这车 |
| [13:54] | I needed the seed money to start my company, | 我需要开公司的种子基金 |
| [13:57] | and it’s the only thing I had that was worth anything. | 而这辆车是我唯一值钱的东西 |
| [13:59] | You know, when you think about it, | 仔细想想 |
| [14:01] | this car is really responsible for everything I have: | 因为这辆车我才有了现在的一切 |
| [14:04] | the beach house, my jet and my fortune. | 海滩别墅 私人飞机和财富 |
| [14:08] | Alan. | 还有艾伦 |
| [14:09] | Shh, she didn’t mean it. It’s not true. | 她不是这个意思 这不是真的 |
| [14:13] | So that means your dad is kind of responsible | 这么说来你今日的成功 |
| [14:16] | for your success, too, doesn’t it? | 跟你爸也多少有点关系 对吧 |
| [14:19] | I never really thought of it like that. | 我还从没这么想过 |
| [14:21] | I guess he is. | 不过是吧 |
| [14:25] | Thanks, Dad. | 谢了 老爸 |
| [14:26] | Oh, that gave me the chills. | 我都起鸡皮疙瘩了 |
| [14:29] | Oh! No, wait. | 等下 |
| [14:30] | There’s a hole in the floorboard. | 原来是地板上有个洞 |
| [14:36] | Anybody else want to drive for a while? | 有谁想开会儿车吗 |
| [14:38] | I don’t know how to drive. | 我不会开车 |
| [14:41] | What? | 什么 |
| [14:42] | I grew up in Manhattan. | 我在曼哈顿长大 |
| [14:43] | I’ve been in taxis and cop cars. | 坐的不是出租车就是警车 |
| [14:45] | Ooh, this is my first time in the front seat! | 这还是我第一次坐前座呢 |
| [14:49] | Well, there’s no time like the present. | 机不可失 |
| [14:58] | I’m gonna pull in here. | 我要在这里停一下 |
| [15:00] | I’m pretty sure they sell underwear at Cracker Barrel. | 快餐礼品店肯定有卖内裤 |
| [15:09] | Berta? | 波塔 |
| [15:10] | Hey, Zippy. | 嗨 废柴 |
| [15:12] | It’s 10:00. | 这都晚上十点了 |
| [15:13] | What are you still doing here? | 你怎么还在这里 |
| [15:15] | It’s 11 years later. | 这都过去11年了 |
| [15:16] | What are you still doing here? | 你怎么还在这里 |
| [15:20] | Where’s your girlfriend? | 你女朋友呢 |
| [15:21] | Gone. I think I lost her. | 走了 我好像失去她了 |
| [15:24] | You mean “lost” like you broke up | “失去”是指你俩分手了 |
| [15:26] | or “lost” like the time Charlie took Jake to Disneyland? | 还是像查理带杰克去迪斯尼乐园的”丢失” |
| [15:30] | Broke up. Wait– Charlie lost Jake? | 分手 慢着 查理把杰克弄丢了吗 |
| [15:33] | Actually, Jake lost Charlie. | 恰恰相反 |
| [15:35] | Security found him. | 保安找到的查理 |
| [15:37] | He was doing white snow with Snow White. | 他正往白雪公主身上喷射”白雪”呢 |
| [15:41] | So, um, what did you do to drive this girlfriend away? | 你干了什么把人气跑了 |
| [15:45] | She thinks I’m still in love with Lyndsey, | 她认为我还爱着林赛 |
| [15:46] | which I’m not, but she doesn’t believe me. | 但我没有 可是她不信 |
| [15:50] | Well, make her believe you. | 那就说服她啊 |
| [15:51] | You can make anybody believe anything. | 你能让任何人相信任何事 |
| [15:53] | You made the IRS believe you had seven dependents. | 你让国税局的人相信你有七名家眷 |
| [15:56] | That’s true. | 那倒是 |
| [15:58] | I went to chiropractic college on an NAACP scholarship. | 我还用有色人种协进会的钱去念了脊椎按摩大学 |
| [16:04] | Exactly. | 是啊 |
| [16:05] | And you made those people at the movie theater | 你还让电影院的人相信 |
| [16:07] | believe that you were under 14. | 你不到14岁 |
| [16:10] | And over 65. | 还有超过65岁 |
| [16:13] | Once on the same day. | 还是同一天骗的哦 |
| [16:15] | The, uh, the secret is that both of those groups wear | 秘诀就是这两类人都会戴 |
| [16:18] | little baseball caps. | 小小的棒球帽 |
| [16:21] | I was saving this for your funeral, | 这话我原本是要留到你葬礼才说的 |
| [16:23] | but, Zippy, you’re a charmer. | 不过废柴 你很讨人喜欢 |
| [16:26] | Thanks, Berta. | 谢谢 波塔 |
| [16:28] | No. Thank you. | 不 谢谢你 |
| [16:30] | Now I don’t have to go to your funeral. | 这下我就不用去你的葬礼了 |
| [16:38] | This Utah sky is amazing. | 犹他州的天空可真美 |
| [16:42] | We’re indoors. | 我们在室内 |
| [16:44] | Wow, this Colorado weed is amazing. | 那这科罗拉多大麻可真厉害 |
| [16:50] | Guess who just joined the 6,106-foot club. | 猜猜谁刚加入了千里打炮俱乐部 |
| [16:54] | It doesn’t count when you do it alone! | 一个人干的不叫打炮 |
| [16:59] | Whatever. | 随便了 |
| [17:00] | I don’t like it here. | 我不喜欢这里 |
| [17:01] | There’s no Wi-Fi or cell service. | 没有无线 也没有手机信号 |
| [17:04] | It’s like one of those movies where you find out | 就像电影里演的 |
| [17:05] | the little town’s full of zombies. | 丧尸小镇 |
| [17:07] | Or werewolves. | 或者是狼人小镇 |
| [17:09] | Or zombie werewolves. | 或者是狼人丧尸小镇 |
| [17:10] | How would that happen? | 这怎么可能 |
| [17:12] | Hello. Do the math. | 你想啊 |
| [17:13] | Zombie bites a werewolf, | 丧尸咬了狼人 |
| [17:15] | werewolf dies, comes back as a werewolf zombie. | 狼人死了 接着就变成了狼人丧尸 |
| [17:16] | That’s a badass, unkillable creature. | 那可厉害了 不死之身呢 |
| [17:19] | He’s right. Chain the door. | 他说得对 把门锁上 |
| [17:20] | Wait a second. You think chaining the door | 等下 你觉得锁门 |
| [17:22] | is gonna stop a zombie werewolf? | 能阻挡住狼人丧尸吗 |
| [17:25] | I’ll tell you what, I’m not gonna be the guy | 我跟你说 我可不要做因为没锁门 |
| [17:27] | who gets killed by a zombie werewolf ’cause I didn’t chain the door. | 而被狼人丧尸屠杀的人 |
| [17:35] | Thanks for coming with me, guys. | 谢谢你们陪我来 |
| [17:37] | And I’m not just saying that | 我这么说不是因为 |
| [17:38] | ’cause I can use you as human shields | 狼人丧尸破门而入时 |
| [17:40] | when the zombie werewolf breaks in the door. | 我会拿你们当肉盾 |
| [17:43] | Yeah, I’m really glad we came, too. | 我也很高兴我们来了 |
| [17:45] | And about almost killing you guys in the car earlier– | 之前开车时差点杀了你俩 |
| [17:48] | that’s my bad. | 是我不好 |
| [17:50] | Yeah, well, I am glad | 我很高兴 |
| [17:51] | that Cracker Barrel had underwear. | 快餐礼品店有内裤卖 |
| [17:55] | And these “I Heart Denver” Sweatpants. | 还有这种”我爱丹佛”的运动裤 |
| [17:58] | You know, this is still better than that family trip | 就算这样也比我小时候全家来犹他州 |
| [18:01] | I took to Utah as a kid. | 家庭旅行要好 |
| [18:02] | My dad was trying to convince my mom | 我爸想说服我妈 |
| [18:04] | to add another wife to the family. | 让他再纳个小妾 |
| [18:05] | Started the trip with one wife, | 跟一个老婆出来旅行 |
| [18:07] | tried to get two, came home with zero. | 想再搭上一个 结果回家时一个都没了 |
| [18:10] | Hotel had a great pool, though. | 不过那家酒店的泳池不错 |
| [18:14] | At least you knew your dad. | 至少你还了解你爸 |
| [18:15] | I barely knew Charlie. | 我基本不认识查理 |
| [18:17] | I got one letter from him my entire childhood. | 我整个童年就收到过他一封信 |
| [18:21] | It said, “Are your friends 18 yet” | 上面写着 “你的朋友们都满18岁了吗” |
| [18:25] | Yeah, hearing you guys talk about your dads, | 听你们说着自己的爸爸 |
| [18:27] | and thinking about mine, | 再想想我爸 |
| [18:29] | makes me question even wanting to have kids. | 搞得我都有点不想要小孩了 |
| [18:30] | You already have kids. | 你已经有小孩了 |
| [18:34] | Papa. | 爹爹 |
| [18:37] | Come on. I’m not your dad. | 别这样 我才不是你们的老爸 |
| [18:38] | You’ve been a better dad to me than anybody ever has. | 全世界就你最像我爸了 |
| [18:42] | You-you-you took me in, | 你收留了我 |
| [18:44] | you inspired me to be a better person. | 鼓励我成为更好的人 |
| [18:48] | You pushed me to be a dead junkie. | 你鼓励我去演死去的吸毒女 |
| [18:52] | I really want that for you, too. | 我真心希望你这么做 |
| [18:55] | She’s right, man. You’re a role model. | 她说得对 你简直是业界良心 |
| [18:57] | I mean, you believe that | 你相信 |
| [18:58] | I can make something out of myself | 我可以有所作为 |
| [18:59] | and you stopped me from going to prison | 还让我不会因为教儿子手淫 |
| [19:01] | for teaching my son how to masturbate. | 而锒铛入狱 |
| [19:04] | That’s right. You want to be a hands-on dad, | 是啊 要做个亲力亲为的爸爸 |
| [19:07] | but not too hands-on. | 但别太”亲”了 |
| [19:10] | Hey, bring it in, kiddos. | 来抱抱吧 孩儿们 |
| [19:18] | – Oh, Dad? – Hmm? | -爸 -怎么了 |
| [19:20] | Barry’s got his hand on my butt again. | 巴里又伸手摸我屁股了 |
| [19:24] | – It’s not my hand. – Okay. | -用得不是手 -行了 |
| [19:25] | All right. | 够了 |
| [19:33] | Hey, Gretchie. | 格雷琴 |
| [19:34] | I don’t want to talk to you right now. | 我现在不想跟你说话 |
| [19:36] | Gretchen’s still mad at you, but I’m on your side, Jeff. | 格雷琴还在生你的气 但我是支持你的 杰夫 |
| [19:38] | Bros before hoes. | 兄弟如手足 女人如衣服 |
| [19:42] | Oh, uh, oh, good, you’re, uh, you’re all here. | 真好 你们都在 |
| [19:45] | Because I have something to say… | 我有话要说 |
| [19:47] | to everyone. | 对大家说 |
| [19:48] | Are you sure, Jeff? | 你确定吗 杰夫 |
| [19:50] | Some things are better left unsaid. | 有些事还是别说的好 |
| [19:55] | I love you so much, | 我真的很爱你 |
| [19:56] | I-I can’t imagine my life without you. | 我没法想象没有你的日子 |
| [19:58] | Just stop. | 别说了 |
| [19:59] | Maybe this will help. | 也许这样会有帮助 |
| [20:01] | Okay, I appreciate the gesture, | 行了 我挺喜欢你这招 |
| [20:03] | but looking for change together isn’t gonna work this time. | 但是跪下找硬币骗婚不灵了 |
| [20:06] | The only change I want is for us to be husband and wife. | 我唯一想的是 我们能成为夫妻 |
| [20:10] | What?! | 什么 |
| [20:12] | Gretchen Martin, will you do me the honor | 格雷琴·马丁 你愿意嫁给我 |
| [20:15] | of becoming Mrs. Alan Harper? | 成为艾伦·哈勃太太吗 |
| [20:21] | Oh, my God! My sister and my best… | 天啊 我妹妹和我最好的… |
| [20:24] | Wait a minute. Who the hell is Alan Harper? | 慢着 艾伦·哈勃是谁啊 |
| [20:26] | Larry, look, boobs! | 拉里 你看 奶子 |
| [20:38] | Oh, look at you. You’re doing great. | 看看你啊 你开得很好 |
| [20:39] | You haven’t hit a guardrail in miles. | 这都好几英里了 你还没撞过护栏 |
| [20:42] | Once you get the hang of it, | 一旦掌握要领 |
| [20:43] | this driving thing isn’t so tough. | 开车也就是小菜一碟嘛 |
| [20:45] | How about after I restore it, I give it to you? | 不如我把这车整修好以后送你吧 |
| [20:48] | What? You love this car. | 什么 你爱这辆车 |
| [20:50] | I’ve gotten what I need out of it, | 我已经得偿所愿了 |
| [20:51] | and I’d rather have it stay in the family. | 肥水不流外人田嘛 |
| [20:54] | Who better to have it than my my… | 谁能比我的半个女儿 |
| [20:55] | sort-of-daughter. | 更值得拥有它呢 |
| [20:57] | Aw! You’re the best sort-of-dad ever! | 你也是我最好的半个老爸啊 |
| [21:00] | Whoa! Hands on the wheel! | 手握方向盘 |
| [21:01] | Hands on the wheel! | 手握方向盘 |
| [21:04] | Why are you yelling at me? | 你为什么要吼我 |
| [21:05] | You should be yelling at them | 你应该吼他们啊 |
| [21:07] | for driving on the wrong side… | 是他们逆向行驶了… |