时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:06] | [Grace Potter’s “Stuck In The Middle” playing] | NETFLIX 原创剧集 |
[00:12] | ♪ Well, I don’t know Why I came here tonight ♪ | |
[00:16] | ♪ Got the feelin’ That somethin’ ain’t right ♪ | |
[00:20] | ♪ I’m so scared In case I fall off my chair ♪ | |
[00:24] | ♪ And I’m wondering How I’ll get down the stairs ♪ | |
[00:28] | ♪ And there’s clowns to the left of me Jokers to the right ♪ | |
[00:32] | ♪ Here I am Stuck in the middle with you ♪ | |
[00:35] | ♪ Yes, I’m stuck in the middle with you ♪ | |
[00:39] | ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ | |
[00:49] | As you both know, I have just completed the market research | 正如你们两个所知 我刚刚完成了对我们的新产品的 |
[00:53] | for our new product, the Rise Up, | 市场调研 也就是升起 |
[00:56] | brought to you by the people who brought you Ménage à Moi. | 发明者就是带给你们 我的伴侣的人 |
[01:00] | We know that. We’re those people. | 我们知道 我们就是它的发明者 |
[01:02] | Please save your questions until the end. | 请把问题留到最后再问 |
[01:04] | That wasn’t a question. | 那不是问题 |
[01:05] | And you’ve just lost your question privileges. | 你刚失去了问问题的特权 我可不希望我们被赶出去 |
[01:07] | Shh. I don’t want us to get thrown out. | |
[01:10] | When presented with the word “toilet,” | 当一听到 “马桶”这个词时 |
[01:14] | the response from customers at Costco, | 好市多的顾客反应不一 包括 “恶心” |
[01:17] | uh, varied from… “Gross,” | |
[01:20] | “Not sexy,” | “不性感” |
[01:22] | “Get away from me now,” | “离我远点” |
[01:24] | and, “Where’s the rotisserie chicken?” | 以及“法式旋转烤鸡在哪里?” |
[01:26] | Not great toilet news. | 这可不是关于马桶的好消息 |
[01:28] | But where is the chicken in that place? | 但卖烤鸡的到底在超市哪里? |
[01:30] | Unfortunately, the words “privy,” | 不幸的是 经过调查 “厕所” |
[01:34] | “loo,” “commode,” and “shitter” | “洗手间”、“坐便器” 以及“便桶”这些词 |
[01:37] | all tested better than the word “toilet.” | 都比“马桶”好评度高 |
[01:39] | -Shitter beat toilet? -Not the way you say it. | “便桶”比“马桶”更受好评? 你说的方式不对 |
[01:43] | “Shitta” beat toilet. | “便桶”比“马桶”更受好评 |
[01:45] | Hmm, I can see that. | 我明白了 |
[01:46] | Well, I’m… I’m afraid, ladies, we’re sunk. | 女士们 恐怕我们的创意要夭折了 |
[01:49] | [Grace] No, we’re not. It’s hard to market. | 不 才不是 营销当然很难 毕竟是马桶嘛 |
[01:51] | It’s a toilet. | |
[01:53] | You know, if it was easy, every joker would be making one. | 要是有那么容易 所有傻瓜都能造出一个来 |
[01:56] | Well, we do have some good news. | 不过确实有个好消息 |
[01:59] | This outfit tested very highly for your date tonight, | 你今晚这身约会行头广受好评 |
[02:02] | especially in your target demo of men age 21 to 99. | 尤其是年龄 在21岁到99岁的目标男性中 |
[02:07] | You had her test your date outfit? | 你让她调研你的约会行头了? |
[02:09] | Look, I’ve been texting and flirting with Jack for weeks. | 听着 我跟杰克几个星期以来 一直互发短信调情 |
[02:13] | I’ve set the stage. | 舞台已经搭建好了 |
[02:15] | But now I’ve got to go out and be Lady Gaga, because this guy is cool. | 但现在我得像 嘎嘎小姐一样上台了 因为他实在是太淡定了 |
[02:20] | What do you mean? You’re always the cool one in a relationship. | 什么意思?每次谈恋爱的时候 你才是那个淡定的人啊 |
[02:23] | You told me yourself. | 你亲口跟我说的 |
[02:25] | I tell you lots of things, Grace. | 格蕾丝 我跟你说过很多事 |
[02:28] | He already likes you enough to give you a Jerry Garcia sneaker. | 他送了你一只杰里加西亚的帆布鞋 这说明他已经够喜欢你了 |
[02:31] | -Hmm. -Isn’t that Deadhead for “I’m into you”? | 这难道不是 “我喜欢你”的终极表达吗? |
[02:34] | Yes, but he went out with Carole King and Carol Kane. | 没错 但他曾经可是跟卡罗尔金 和卡洛凯恩约过会 |
[02:38] | Wow, you really are nervous. | 哇哦 你真的很紧张 |
[02:42] | I am. I went on a mock date with Coyote, and it did not go well. | 没错 我还跟凯奥迪模拟了一次约会 过程并不顺利 |
[02:49] | -Thank you. -Mmm. | 谢谢 |
[02:55] | It’s just that an egg white omelet | 我只是觉得蛋清煎蛋卷 |
[02:57] | would’ve been the healthier option for you, that’s all. | 对你来说是更健康的选择 就这样 |
[02:59] | That’s some banana split calling the omelet unhealthy right there. | 某个吃香蕉船的人 笑吃煎蛋卷的人 |
[03:04] | I’m not familiar with that saying. | 我好像没听过这句谚语 |
[03:05] | I’m not the one having surgery in a week. | 反正一个星期后做手术的人不是我 |
[03:08] | Correct. I am. | 没错 是我 |
[03:09] | And I don’t think a few egg yolks are going to change my prognosis. | 而且我觉得几个鸡蛋黄 不会对我的预后产生影响 西红柿是不是也不能吃了?让我查查 |
[03:14] | Stop! Are tomatoes bad now? Let me check. | |
[03:16] | -“Are tomatoes bad now?” -[keyboard clacking] | “西红柿是不是也不能吃了?” 对 没错 等等 不 这是2014年的文章 |
[03:19] | Oh, yes. They are. | |
[03:21] | Wait. No, that’s from 2014, hold on. | |
[03:22] | Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, | 稍等 我在往下翻… |
[03:26] | ad, scrolling. | 广告 继续翻… |
[03:28] | Okay, tomatoes are good to go. He’s fine. | 行了 你可以吃西红柿 |
[03:30] | -You’re fine. -Wait! | -他能吃 你吃吧 -等等 |
[03:32] | Carcinogens. Aren’t there carcinogens in coffee? | 致癌物 咖啡里不是有致癌物吗? |
[03:35] | I think there are. Good save, Robert. | 好像真的有 漂亮的补救 罗伯特 |
[03:38] | You want Bud to rub your feet? Bud, can you rub his feet? | 需要巴德帮你揉揉脚吗? -巴德 你能给他揉揉脚吗? -马上去办 不要! |
[03:40] | -On it. -No! | |
[03:42] | Stay away from my feet! | 离我的脚远一点! |
[03:44] | This, right here, is why I didn’t want anyone to know about my surgery. | 我就是因此 才不想告诉别人我要做手术的事 |
[03:49] | Where are you going? | 你去哪? |
[03:50] | To the cancer support group the doctor told us about. | 去医生说的那个癌症互助小组 |
[03:55] | Oh, that’s a great idea. | 这主意很不错 |
[03:56] | We support that. [chuckles] Right, Robert? | 我们支持你这样做 |
[03:58] | Yes, we do. You need one of us– | -对吧 罗伯特? -是的 没错 需要我们谁… |
[04:03] | -Guess he’s all set. -Hmm. | 看来他都准备好了 |
[04:06] | -You just sticking around or– -Yep. On my way out. | -你还要留下来吗? -不 我这就走 |
[04:11] | [keyboard clacking] | |
[04:14] | [Mallory] Have you seen the stapler? | 你看到订书机了吗? |
[04:17] | Yep. | 看到了 |
[04:20] | Could you tell me where it is? | 那能告诉我它在哪吗? |
[04:21] | Why don’t I just leave it on the printer, | 我把它放打印机那里了 |
[04:23] | and then when you’re firing off another cover letter, | 等你再去打印求职信的时候 |
[04:25] | it’ll be right there for you. | 刚好能看到它 |
[04:27] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[04:28] | Then, here’s your report. | 这是你要的报告 |
[04:35] | [slight chuckle] Slice. | 我来缓和一下 省着气氛这么紧张 |
[04:37] | [clears throat] You know, cut the tension. [nervous chuckle] | |
[04:40] | -What do you need, Barry? -Right. Every department’s out of paper, | -你有什么事 巴里? -对 所有部门都没有纸了 |
[04:44] | and everyone’s too afraid to come in and get it. | 但大家都不敢过来拿 |
[04:47] | Does everyone need to print their résumés now? | 现在所有人都要打印简历吗? |
[04:51] | I-I don’t know. | 我不… |
[04:52] | [sighs] | |
[04:54] | I’ll bring them some. | 我去给他们送 |
[05:01] | Quick, Barry, rip a fart in her fort. | 快 巴里 去她座位上放个屁 |
[05:04] | -I can’t. -Oh, now you can’t? | 不行 现在不行了? |
[05:06] | So, seems like this sister-fight’s winding down, | 所以…貌似你们姐妹之间的矛盾 在慢慢降级 |
[05:10] | and everything’s gonna be sort of resolved by, say, Friday 7:00 p.m.? [chuckles] | 然后所有问题到 周五晚上7点就都不存在了? |
[05:15] | Why? | 为什么? 我才不要跟她和丹进行四人约会 |
[05:18] | Ugh. Not going on a double date with her and Dan. | |
[05:21] | But the– the short rib. | 可是牛小排呢? |
[05:22] | What is it with you and that short rib? | 你干嘛对那家餐厅的 牛小排这么执着? 那里的牛小排可是相当出名 你知道有几千人投票让它当市长吗? |
[05:25] | [scoffs] The short rib is legendary. | |
[05:28] | Like… you know it received several thousand votes for mayor? | |
[05:31] | And you have to pay for it in advance, which I did. | 而且费用还要预付 而我已经付过了 |
[05:33] | And they won’t seat less than four people at the table. I already checked. | 而且那里的桌子至少要坐四个人 我已经查过了 |
[05:37] | Okay, fine. We’ll just go with another couple. | 那好吧 我们约别的情侣去 |
[05:41] | Never mind. I’ll just cancel the fucking reservation, I guess. | 算了 我还是直接取消预定吧 |
[05:44] | Barry, you don’t think I can find someone else to go with us? | 巴里 你觉得我找不到别人 跟我们一起去? |
[05:47] | No, you know, I don’t think you can find two people to go with us. | 不 我是觉得你找不到 两个人跟我们一起去 |
[05:53] | -What about–? -Bud and Coyote? Not officially a couple. | -那… -巴德和凯奥迪?他们不是情侣 |
[05:56] | -Erin and Liz? -Vegetarians. | -艾琳和丽兹 -她们只吃素 |
[05:58] | Of course. We have tons of other couple friends. | 也是 我们还有很多情侣朋友啊 |
[06:01] | -And you’ve alienated all of them. -Not Mark and Cindy. | -可你都跟他们疏远了 -马克和辛迪就没有 |
[06:04] | You mean Mike and Sandy? | 你是说麦克和辛迪吧? |
[06:05] | Is… Is that their names? | 这是他们的名字吗? |
[06:06] | This is why we need Dan and Mallory. | 这就是我们需要丹和玛洛琳的原因 |
[06:10] | They’re our only couple friends. | 他们是我们唯一的一对情侣朋友 |
[06:12] | They were our only couple friends, until Mallory betrayed me. | 在玛洛琳背叛我之前曾经是 |
[06:15] | You know what? | 你知道吗? |
[06:16] | Make up with your sister or find another couple. | 跟你妹妹讲和 或者另找一对情侣 |
[06:21] | My mom and Nick? | 我妈和尼克如何? |
[06:23] | -Yes. -Ew, no. | 可以 不行 |
[06:30] | Hey, hey, hey. | 嘿 |
[06:32] | Well, well. Someone must have had a good time on their date. | 哎呦 看来某人约会很开心啊 |
[06:36] | I did. | 没错 |
[06:37] | I think. | 反正我这么想 |
[06:39] | I mean, the ride there was fun. And the ride home was great. | 我是说去那里的路上还可以 但回来的路上简直棒极了 不 那你是说… 约会不顺利? |
[06:43] | Oh, no. Well, the date was bad? | |
[06:46] | Well, there’s no way to know at this time. | 这次可没法知道了 |
[06:49] | -[speaking indistinctly] -[music plays loudly, people chattering] | |
[06:52] | It’s just a default setting for them. | …他们本身就是这样的人 |
[06:55] | What did you just say? | 你刚说什么? …毫无理由啊 -每天晚上 -对不起 你再说一遍 |
[06:58] | …T-shirt cannon… [indistinct] | |
[07:00] | Whatever… no reason… | |
[07:02] | [speaks indistinctly] | |
[07:05] | I’m sorry, one more time. | |
[07:10] | I couldn’t bring any because of the straitjacket. | |
[07:13] | [laughs] | |
[07:19] | You couldn’t hear him the entire night? | 你一整晚都没听清楚他在说什么? 我还是听到了一些片段的 听到的内容 我都很喜欢 |
[07:21] | Well, I heard bits and pieces. What I heard, I liked. | |
[07:25] | Frankie, I want to thank you for tonight. | 弗兰基 我想为今晚谢谢你 |
[07:26] | I want to thank you for letting me take my shoes off in here. | 我想感谢你允许我在你车里脱鞋 |
[07:30] | [laughs] | |
[07:31] | I know what I told you isn’t exactly what everybody | 我知道我跟你说的那些 一般人第一次约会时都不会聊 |
[07:35] | would talk about on a first date. | |
[07:38] | I’m not everybody. | 我可不是一般人 |
[07:39] | No, you’re not. | 对 你不是 |
[07:40] | I’ve never been on a date with someone who fills up on mints from the host stand. | 我从来没有跟靠吃接待区的 薄荷糖就吃饱了的人约过会 |
[07:45] | Why would they have them up at the entrance | 如果他们不想让你吃 |
[07:47] | if they didn’t want you to start with them? | 为何要在入口处放呢? |
[07:50] | Well, you know, the entrance is also the exit. | 那你知道入口也是出口吧? |
[07:54] | -You’re blowing my mind right now. -[both chuckle] | 我还真是没听说过 |
[07:56] | Wait, go back. What did he tell you? | 等等 回放一下 他跟你说了什么? |
[07:59] | “The entrance is also the exit.” | 他说入口也是出口 |
[08:04] | No. I-I know that. Everybody knows that. | 不 这个我知道 谁不知道啊 |
[08:06] | The thing you normally don’t say on a first date. | 一般人不会在第一次约会时聊的话题 |
[08:09] | I’m getting there. | 我马上就要说到了 |
[08:10] | Ah, I got to tell you, | 不得不说 |
[08:12] | part of the reason I haven’t been out with anyone in so long | 我之所以这么久都没跟人约会 这算是其中一个原因 |
[08:15] | is that I’ve been ashamed to talk about it, for obvious reasons. | 因为出于很明显的原因 我羞于谈论这件事 |
[08:18] | Loud and clear. | 我听得很清楚 |
[08:20] | And you’re a really great listener. | 你真的是个很好的倾听者 |
[08:23] | -I really am. -Mm-hmm. | 没错 |
[08:25] | In fact, I would gladly listen | 其实 我很想再听听 你在餐厅里跟我说过的 |
[08:26] | to that thing you told me in the restaurant. | |
[08:29] | Again, right now. | 那件事 就现在 |
[08:31] | [laughs] | |
[08:33] | I can’t wait till Thursday. | 我都等不及周四的到来了 |
[08:34] | Thursday? | 周四? |
[08:36] | Our second date, which I think we discussed in that too-loud restaurant. | 我们的第二次约会 我们好像是在那家 过于嘈杂的餐厅里说好的 |
[08:40] | Was it too loud, | 真的是因为嘈杂吗? |
[08:42] | or have you just needed hearing aids for years and refused to accept it? | 还是你需要戴上多年来 一直拒绝的助听器? |
[08:46] | How can I be the cool one in the relationship with a hearing aid? | 要是戴上了助听器 我就不可能是那个淡定的人了 |
[08:50] | Besides, they’ve never once gone with my outfit. | 而且 助听器跟我所有的行头都不搭 |
[08:54] | Now, an ear trumpet, on the other hand… | 但是 一只助听筒… |
[08:56] | You sold me on the Rise Up when you said, | 你让我接受升起时 跟我说“别因为自己的需要感到羞耻” |
[09:00] | “Don’t be ashamed of something you need.” | |
[09:02] | Did I? | 我有说过吗? |
[09:04] | I can’t hear most of what I say these days. | 如今我说的大多数话 我自己都听不到 |
[09:06] | That’s a blessing. But do you really want to start your relationship like this? | 那你真是好运 可你真的想就这样开始这段关系吗? |
[09:11] | I don’t want to spook Jack with every little flaw right away. | 我不希望杰克被我的小缺点吓走 |
[09:15] | Besides, he thinks I’m accepting, chill, and a bitchin’ listener. | 而且 他觉得我善于接受现实 冷静 还是个很棒的倾听者 |
[09:20] | -Well, you are. You’re just a bad hear-er. -Hmm. | 没错 你不过是个糟糕的听话人 |
[09:24] | Okay, let’s try to piece together what he might have said in that restaurant. | 好了 我们想办法拼凑出 他都在餐厅里说了什么 |
[09:29] | At one point he did say, “Tonight, we have a lovely clam linguine.” | 他确实曾说过 “今晚的蛤蛎细面很是美味” |
[09:34] | That was the waiter. | 可能是服务生说的 |
[09:37] | [muffled] Could be. | 有可能 |
[09:46] | -[Robert] Hi. -Hi. | -嗨 -嗨 |
[09:49] | Do you need help with that? Sometimes they can be tricky. | 需要我帮忙吗? 有时候很难脱的 |
[09:52] | No, I can take my jacket off myself, thanks. | 不用 我能自己脱掉衣服 谢谢了 |
[09:55] | Just making sure you know I’m here for you, whatever you need. | 我就是想确保你知道我一直都在 不管你有什么需求 |
[09:58] | I know. Thanks. | 我知道 谢了 |
[10:00] | So, how was your support group? | 那么 你的互助小组之行如何? |
[10:03] | It was great. Really fun. | 很棒 超级好玩 |
[10:05] | Talking about cancer was fun? | 谈论癌症是好玩的事? |
[10:07] | People with cancer make their own kind of fun. | 患癌症的人也会自己找乐子的 |
[10:11] | Well, I’m really very proud of you for going. | 我很自豪你去了那里 |
[10:14] | Maybe next time I could go with you. | 或许下次我可以跟你一起去 |
[10:17] | Oh, no, it’s not for family members. Sorry. | 不用了 家人不能去 抱歉了 |
[10:22] | Oh. | |
[10:24] | Well, then I-I guess it’s better to talk to people who are going through it. | 我猜还是癌症患者之间 沟通起来比较方便 |
[10:28] | Yeah. | 好啊 |
[10:29] | In fact, there’s another one on Thursday. I’m going to go. | 其实 周四还有一次 我还会去的 |
[10:33] | Okay. | 好的 |
[10:36] | And maybe afterwards, you can tell me all about it. | 那或许你回来后 可以跟我说说那里的事 罗伯特… |
[10:39] | Oh. Robert… | |
[10:41] | the first rule of cancer club is, uh… | 癌症俱乐部的第一条规矩就是… 你必须得了癌症 |
[10:45] | well, have cancer. | |
[10:53] | So, Jack, on Thursday, the day of Thurs, | 所以 杰克 周四的时候 也就是每周第五天 |
[10:57] | how long do you think it would take me | 你觉得我要花多长时间 |
[10:59] | to get to, uh, the place to which we are both going? | 才能到我们要去的那个地方? 等等 这是走地面街道 还是高速路的时间? |
[11:02] | Uh, uh, wait, is that surface street time or highway? | |
[11:06] | And how fast do you think I drive? [chuckles] | 你觉得我能开多快? |
[11:10] | Just pick her up. | 过来接她吧 下午6点 海滩别墅 别带警察来 |
[11:11] | Beach house, 6:00 p.m., no cops. | |
[11:16] | Ah, thank you. Why didn’t I think of that? | 谢谢 我怎么就没想到呢? 因为你没上过杰森斯坦森的礼仪学校 |
[11:19] | Because you didn’t go to Jason Statham’s charm school. | |
[11:23] | Okay, okay, everybody, focus on me. Yo! | 好了 大家都听我说 嘿! |
[11:28] | So, I was up all night. | 我一整晚都没睡 |
[11:30] | Ooh, lucky Nick. | 喔 尼克真幸运 他还好啦 |
[11:31] | Huh? Oh. Oh, he’s fine. | |
[11:34] | No, I was working. | 不 我说的是工作 |
[11:36] | And do you know what I realized? | 你们知道我明白了什么吗? |
[11:38] | I love this. | 我喜欢这样 |
[11:40] | I love working with you. | 我喜欢跟你一起工作 我也是 姐妹 |
[11:42] | Well, right back at you, sister. | |
[11:44] | I love spinning your bonkers ideas into gold. | 我喜欢把你那些疯狂的想法 变成摇钱树 |
[11:47] | Well, fuck you, sister. | 真有你的 姐妹 |
[11:50] | And I figured out how we’re gonna market the Rise Up. | 我想出如何为升起做营销了 |
[11:53] | You know how you don’t want to freak Jack out by leading with the negatives? | 你还记得你不希望杰克 被消极因素吓跑吗? |
[11:56] | It’s the same thing with Rise Up. | 同样的道理也适用于升起 |
[11:58] | We have to ease people into it, | 我们需要让人们 带着轻松的心情接受它 |
[12:01] | and then, once they’re on board, boom, toilet. | 然后等他们一旦接受 轰隆! 我们的马桶就会大卖 |
[12:03] | Just come out and say it: I’m your muse. | 你就直说吧 我是你的灵感女神 |
[12:08] | Whatever. | 随便吧 |
[12:10] | We’re selling a brand, right? An idea, not just a toilet. | 我们卖的是一个品牌 对吧? 一个创意 而不是单纯的马桶 |
[12:14] | So our marketing has to empower older people | 所以我们的营销策略就是 一边让老年人感受到自己的能力 |
[12:17] | while we build a mystique around it. | 一边为我们的产品打造出神秘的氛围 |
[12:20] | And then we just blast them with the toilet. | 然后我们用马桶轰炸他们 |
[12:22] | No, we don’t blast anybody. | 不 我们不能轰炸任何人 |
[12:23] | But you said, “Boom, toilet,” and nobody batted an eye. | 但你刚才说“轰隆 马桶” 而且谁都比不上我 |
[12:27] | I am not getting into the weeds with you over “booming” versus “blasting.” Again. | 我才不要浪费时间再次 跟你争论轰隆跟轰炸的 区别 |
[12:33] | So, ladies and ladies, | 好了 女士们 还有…女士们 |
[12:38] | our teaser campaign. | 我们的悬念式广告攻势 (你今天用什么升起?) |
[12:41] | [Frankie] Now this is sexy. | 这广告真酷 |
[12:43] | I would definitely tell you to buy me whatever this is selling. | 不管是卖什么的 只要人们一看到 绝对会去买 |
[12:48] | This is gonna go online, | 我会把广告放到网上 然后 但愿 人们会开始跟我们联系 能不能把这广告贴满全镇? 比如说 在建筑物和天桥上? |
[12:49] | and then, hopefully, people will start to engage with us. | |
[12:51] | [gasps] Can we also post these all over town, | |
[12:54] | like on buildings and overpasses? | |
[12:57] | [Joan-Margaret] What a great idea. | 这主意真棒! |
[12:58] | I have ski masks, a ladder, and wheat paste in my car. | 我有滑雪面罩 梯子 车里还有麦糊 |
[13:03] | Well, I suppose we can use that stuff to hang posters. | 这些东西挂海报的时候都能用上 |
[13:08] | [chuckles] Ye… | |
[13:10] | Yes, of course I’m serious about dinner. | 对 晚饭的事我当然是认真的 |
[13:14] | Yes, but I like to think of us as the type of friends who don’t speak for two years | 对 但我更愿意把我们想成 两年没说话的朋友 |
[13:18] | and then just pick up right where we left off. | 现在又想重拾旧好 |
[13:23] | Okay, then stop watching my Instagram stories. | 好吧 那就别再看我 照片墙上的动态了 |
[13:26] | Hey, it’s Bri. | 嘿 我是布丽 |
[13:29] | Brianna. | 布丽安娜 |
[13:31] | Brianna Hanson. | 布丽安娜汉森 |
[13:33] | Okay, bye. | 好的 再见 |
[13:36] | You wanted to see me? | 你找我有事? |
[13:37] | Hey, E-dog. | 嘿 艾妞 |
[13:42] | I know it’s Erica. I just wanted to show you how close we are. | 我知道你名叫艾瑞卡 我这是想让你知道咱俩有多熟 |
[13:45] | -Oh, God, what’s happening? -Nothing! | 老天 发生什么事了? 没什么 |
[13:49] | [pats sofa] | |
[13:52] | [chuckles] | |
[13:54] | -This is for you. -Oh. | |
[14:01] | I just wanted to see whatcha doing Friday night. | 我就是想知道你周五晚上有什么安排 |
[14:04] | Um, working late? Is that the right answer? | 我要加班? -这是正确的答案吗? -正确的答案是你要 跟我和巴里出去玩 |
[14:08] | The right answer is having fun… with me and Barry. | |
[14:11] | Dinner, Friday night, you and your… | 我们周五晚上一起吃晚餐 你和你的… |
[14:16] | girlfriend? Boyfriend? | 女朋友 男朋友 |
[14:18] | Please make a face so I know when I’m close. | 有点表情行吗? 我就知道自己何时猜对了 |
[14:20] | I’ve been married a year. To Pete. | 我已经跟皮特结婚一年了 |
[14:24] | We met here. | 我们是在这里认识的 |
[14:26] | Great. So we’re on for Friday. | -好极了 那我们周五一起吃饭 -什么? 周五啊 我不行 |
[14:27] | What? Oh, Friday. | |
[14:29] | I can’t. | |
[14:31] | I’m… | 我…要…做手术 |
[14:32] | getting an operation. | |
[14:35] | It’s elective. | 是预约手术 |
[14:36] | And I’m electing. | 恰好是那天 |
[14:38] | Hmm. | |
[14:39] | Big bumms, you’re gonna have to reschedule that. | 不好意思 那你得重新安排了 |
[14:42] | You’ll be working late. Now get out. | 你得加班 出去吧 |
[14:47] | -[Erica] Barry. -Hi. | -巴里 -嗨 |
[14:51] | Just had to give Erica a talking-to about fiscal ointment projections. | 我刚在跟艾瑞卡聊面部软膏预估的事 |
[14:58] | You get it. | 你懂的 |
[14:59] | You tried to get her and Pete to come to dinner, didn’t you? | 你是想约她和皮特吃晚饭 对吧? |
[15:01] | Who the fuck is Pete? | 皮特这家伙是谁? 又有一个不错的 |
[15:06] | Oh, here’s another good one. | |
[15:08] | “My boss was trying to get me to retire early, | “我老板最近想让我办理早退休 |
[15:11] | but I rose up and refused. | 但我站起来拒绝了他 然后他最后给我加了薪 |
[15:13] | -He ended up giving me a raise.” -Ah! | |
[15:15] | “Hashtag rise up.” | 主题标签:升起” |
[15:17] | I can’t believe this is working. | 真不敢相信这招有用 |
[15:19] | I can’t believe how much hummus is on your screen. | 真不敢相信你电脑屏幕上 有那么多鹰嘴豆泥 |
[15:22] | Oh. | |
[15:23] | Here’s a good one. | 这里有个不错的 |
[15:25] | “At a restaurant, they only had those high tables with terrible stools. | “一家餐厅里只有 那种带有凳子的高餐桌 |
[15:29] | But I rose up and demanded a chair with a back. Hashtag rise up.” | 但我站起身 跟他们要了 一把有后背的椅子 主题标签:升起” |
[15:36] | I demand a raise. Hashtag rise up. | 我要求加薪 主题标签:升起 |
[15:39] | No. | 不行 |
[15:41] | Well, I’ve already risen up. So I guess I’ll go and make us some tea. | 好吧 既然我都站起来了 那还是去泡点茶吧 有人吗? |
[15:46] | -[door opens] -[Coyote] Hello? | |
[15:49] | -In here. -[door closes] | 这里 |
[15:51] | I just wanted to stop by and give my dad this healthy green shake I made. | 我就是过来给我爸 送我做的健康蔬菜奶昔 |
[15:55] | It’s Bud’s recipe. Don’t tell him I used it. | 食谱是巴德的 千万别告诉他我用了 |
[15:58] | -Still fighting over a girl? -Mm-hmm. | 你们还在为那个女孩置气吗? |
[16:00] | That’s great for you two grown men. | 对于两个成年人来说 真是太好了 |
[16:03] | Why is the green shake brown? | 蔬菜奶昔怎么是棕色的? |
[16:05] | Oh, a bunch of Ubers canceled on me. | 很多网约车取消了我的订单 我在外面等了好一会儿 |
[16:07] | Ugh. I was standing outside for a while. | |
[16:10] | Where’s Dad? | 我爸呢? |
[16:11] | He’s with his cancer support group at the JCC. | 他去犹太人社区参加癌症互助小组了 我不知道他何时回来 |
[16:14] | -Hmm. -No idea when he’ll be back. | |
[16:16] | Oh, I-I sometimes go to AA meetings there. | 有时候我会去那里参加戒酒互助小组 |
[16:19] | I’m sure the schedule’s on their website. Let me check. | 网上一定有他们的安排 我查一下 |
[16:24] | Yeah, here it is. Uh, “Family Cancer Support Group.” | 好了 找到了 “家庭癌症互助小组” |
[16:27] | Family? No, he goes to the one just for the patient. | “家庭?” 不对 他去的是那个只允许病人参加的小组 |
[16:30] | -Are you sure? -Mm-hmm. | 你确定? |
[16:33] | “For cancer patients, their family, and caregivers.” | “面向癌症患者 他们的家人 以及照顾他们的人” |
[16:38] | Yeah. | 对… |
[16:39] | Yeah, it’s the only one. | 对 只有这一个小组 |
[16:42] | Why didn’t he want me there? | 他为什么不想让我去? |
[16:45] | Well, if it makes you feel better, you can come to one of my AA meetings | 如果能让你心里好受些 你可以参加我的戒酒互助小组 支持我一下 |
[16:48] | and support me. | |
[16:49] | I can’t that day. Sorry. | 那天我去不了 抱歉 |
[16:51] | You want half to go? | 要来半个带走吃吗? |
[16:53] | Thanks. | 谢了 |
[16:59] | Hey. | 嘿 |
[17:01] | Where’s, uh, Brianna? | 布丽安娜呢? |
[17:04] | She said she’d rather eat in a bathroom stall than with me. | 她说她宁愿去卫生间隔间吃 也不要跟我同一个屋子吃饭 |
[17:08] | [slight chuckle] | |
[17:11] | So, how are you… how you holding up? | 那你… 你还坚持得住吧? |
[17:15] | Well, actually, it’s been just– | 这个嘛… -其实 就是… -我理解你 那感觉就像… |
[17:18] | I feel you. I feel you. It’s like, ugh! | |
[17:20] | -Mm-hmm. -I hate seeing you two fight. | -我讨厌看到你们俩闹矛盾 -对 |
[17:22] | -Right. -You know, it’s… | 这让人很… |
[17:24] | Look… | 听着 |
[17:26] | I never had siblings. | 我没有什么兄弟姐妹 我曾经认了… 几只小鸟当兄弟 |
[17:27] | You know, I-I-I had bird brothers, | |
[17:30] | which, uh, you know, they’d fight occasionally, | 其实 它们偶尔也会争吵 可是… 它们很快就和好了 |
[17:33] | and they’re pretty quick to make up though. | |
[17:37] | Okay. | 好的 |
[17:38] | But that’s how they do in bird society. | 反正在鸟的世界里就是那样的 |
[17:40] | Barry, I don’t give a fuck about your short rib. | 巴里 我根本不在乎什么牛小排 |
[17:42] | This is– This is bigger than the short rib, Mallory. | 玛洛琳 这事比牛小排重要多了 |
[17:45] | All I did was apply for a job. | 我不过是申请了一份工作 |
[17:47] | And all you have to do is apologize for it. | 那你去跟她道个歉就好了 |
[17:49] | I need to apologize? | 要我去道歉? |
[17:51] | -Yeah! -Hmm. | 对 |
[17:52] | I mean, if you– if you feel like you should. | 我是说 如果你觉得应该这么做的话 |
[17:54] | Whenever Brianna and I fight, | 每次我和布丽安娜吵架 |
[17:56] | it only ends if I say I’m sorry for something I didn’t do. | 最后都是我为自己没做过的事道歉 只有这样才会结束 |
[17:59] | That’s what being in a relationship with Brianna is. | 跟布丽安娜相处就是这样 |
[18:02] | Doesn’t that sound crazy to you? | 你不觉得这听起来很疯狂吗? |
[18:04] | Oh, my God, Brianna is crazy! [slight chuckle] | 我的天 布丽安娜本来就是个疯子 |
[18:07] | What? Are you okay? | 怎么了?你没事吧? |
[18:09] | -This– -Wait a min– | -你… -怎么… |
[18:12] | Hey. | 嘿 |
[18:15] | Too crazy to cancel that short rib? | 疯狂到取消牛小排餐厅的预定? 好了 我准备好去约会了 不管是去干什么 去什么地方 |
[18:19] | Ta-da! All right, I’m ready for whatever and wherever this date is. | |
[18:25] | I have my formal muumuu, a funky duster, | 我穿了自己正式的穆穆袍 放克风衣 |
[18:29] | and cut-off shorts I’ve restored to pants. | 之前剪短的短裤 我又改成裤子穿了 -你确定要这样吗? -你说得对 我还是把它们改回短裤吧 |
[18:32] | Are you sure about this? | |
[18:35] | You’re right. I’ll turn them back into shorts. | |
[18:37] | No. What if Jack’s secret is something bad? | 不是的! 万一杰克的秘密是很坏的事呢? |
[18:41] | Oh. [scoffs] | |
[18:43] | How bad could it be? He told me on our first date. | 能有多坏? 他都在我们第一次约会时说了 |
[18:46] | What if he’s a flat-earther? | 万一他是认为地球是平的呢? |
[18:48] | What if he’s a dog kicker? | 万一他还会踢狗狗呢? |
[18:50] | No, I asked him point-blank if he kicked dogs. | 不会 我直接问过他会不会踢狗狗 |
[18:54] | What if he doesn’t believe in aliens? | 万一他不相信外星人的存在呢? |
[18:56] | Oh, you shut your mouth. | 你还是闭嘴吧 |
[18:58] | Doesn’t it seem like a lot of work just to hide the fact | 你难道不觉得隐瞒自己有时候 |
[19:00] | that sometimes you have trouble hearing? | 听不清楚的这个事实很费劲吗? |
[19:03] | I don’t know. Aren’t we all just hiding our toilets, Grace? | 这可说不好 我们不都对自己 如厕的事秘而不宣吗 格蕾丝? |
[19:07] | That is one of your more troubling metaphors. | 这是你又一个更加令人不安的隐喻了 |
[19:11] | Six crack. | 六万 |
[19:13] | [sighs] | |
[19:16] | [Sol] Nine dot. | 九点 五万 |
[19:18] | Uh, five crack. | |
[19:25] | Oh, God. | 我的天 |
[19:30] | Okay, my husband’s here, | 好了 我丈夫来了 他还以为我在隔壁的癌症互助小组 |
[19:32] | and he thinks I’m at the cancer support group next door. | |
[19:36] | So you both have cancer right now, so just go with it. | 所以你们俩现在都假扮癌症病人 配合我一下 |
[19:40] | I had cancer once. Skin. | 我得过癌症 皮肤癌 |
[19:42] | Great. Follow Greg’s lead. | 好极了 那就接着格雷格继续说 好 格雷格的皮肤癌… 我不知道 |
[19:45] | Uh, yes, and Greg’s skin cancer is, uh… | |
[19:51] | Uh, I-I don’t know, uh– | |
[19:52] | This isn’t your improv class, Ron. Just be cool. | 这不是即兴表演课 罗恩 你淡定一点 索尔?这是怎么回事? 嘿 罗伯特 |
[19:56] | -[clears throat] -[Robert] Sol. | |
[19:58] | -What’s going on? -Oh. Hey, Robert. | |
[20:01] | Whatcha doing here? | 你怎么来了? |
[20:02] | Well, I was just coming to support you in your cancer support group. | 我过来支持一下你们的癌症互助小组 |
[20:07] | I saw online that families are allowed. | 我在网上看到家人是可以参加的 |
[20:12] | And welcome. | 也是受欢迎的 |
[20:14] | Mm-hmm. | |
[20:15] | [inhales] | |
[20:17] | Greg, what was that thing you were just saying about your skin cancer? | 格雷格 关于你的皮肤癌 你刚说什么来着? |
[20:23] | Uh, no, thank you. | 还是算了 谢谢 我… |
[20:28] | Uh, I, uh… | |
[20:31] | Cancer. | 癌症 |
[20:36] | -Hey, Jack. -Hey, Grace. Nice to see you again. | -嘿 杰克 -嗨 格蕾丝 很高兴再次见到你 |
[20:39] | -Jack’s here. -Hey! | 杰克来了 嘿 |
[20:41] | I hope this is all right to wear on our date. | 希望我约会这么穿没问题 |
[20:44] | Of course it is. | 当然没问题 |
[20:45] | You could wear your pants as a jacket as far as I’m concerned. | 据我所知 把裤子当外套穿 不是什么问题 |
[20:48] | -Oh, really? -[Jack chuckles] | 真的吗? |
[20:51] | I’m just so happy you agreed to a second date with me. | 你答应跟我进行第二次约会 我真是太开心了 |
[20:54] | Why wouldn’t I go on another date with you? | 我为什么要拒绝跟你第二次约会? 我想是因为仅有的那次 我把跟你说的话告诉了别人 |
[20:57] | [exhales] I guess because the only other time I told someone what I told you, | |
[21:02] | she freaked out and ghosted me. | 对方被吓到了 然后突然失联了 |
[21:04] | Hmm. | |
[21:07] | Look, Jack… [clears throat] | 听着 杰克 |
[21:09] | I-I need to be honest about that thing you told me the other night. | 关于你那晚对我说的事 我要说实话 老天 你也被吓到了 |
[21:13] | Oh, man, now you’re freaking out. | |
[21:15] | No, no, no. Uh, the reason I reacted so well was, um… | 不是的 我之所以反应那么好 是因为… 格蕾丝说她也有那样的问题 所以我其实很习惯这种事 |
[21:21] | was Grace told me the exact same thing | |
[21:24] | -about her. -[coughs] | |
[21:26] | -[gasps] Oh. -So I was used to it. | |
[21:29] | And– And since you two have that in common, | 既然你们俩有这个共同点 |
[21:32] | why don’t I give you some space to talk about it. | 不如我让你们单独聊聊吧? |
[21:35] | Uh, anybody want some pop? [makes pop sound] | 谁想喝汽水吗? 格蕾丝 真是想不到 |
[21:37] | [chuckles] | |
[21:39] | Oh, Grace, wow. | |
[21:41] | Yeah. Wow, indeed. | 是啊 真是想不到 |
[21:44] | -Yeah, just a second, Jack. -You– Yeah. Wow. | 嗯 稍等一下 杰克 |
[21:48] | Absolutely not! | 你不能这么做! |
[21:49] | There’s a special place in hell | 地狱里有个特别的地方 专门为不帮助其他女人的女人准备的 |
[21:51] | -for women who don’t help other women. -[scoffs] | |
[21:53] | I am not gonna pretend that I have the same deep, dark secrets that Jack has. | 我才不要假装自己跟杰克一样有着 深埋于心的黑暗秘密 |
[21:57] | Why not? | 为什么不行? |
[21:58] | I don’t even know what they are, and neither do you, | 我都不知道他的秘密是什么! 你也是 因为你羞于 承认自己没听清楚 |
[22:01] | ’cause you’re too ashamed to admit you can’t hear. | |
[22:03] | Oh, just like you’re too ashamed to tell everyone we’re selling a toilet. | 我的心情就像你羞于 告诉所有人我们在卖马桶一样 |
[22:06] | I’m generating intrigue. | 我那是在制造神秘 |
[22:08] | That’s what I’m doing. | 我也在这么做 |
[22:10] | Mine’s working. Yours is a disaster. | 我的策略奏效了 而你的简直就是灾难 |
[22:13] | Look at this, working. | 瞧啊 我的起作用了 |
[22:16] | “I rose up for equal pay at work. Hashtag rise up.” | “我勇敢站起来 支持同工同酬 主题标签:升起” |
[22:20] | “I rose up for access ramps at my grocery store. Hashtag rise up.” | “我勇敢站起来 要求我去的杂货店 修建入口坡道 主题标签:升起” |
[22:24] | “I rose up for less Jews at my country club! Hashtag…” | “我勇敢站起来 提议我所在的 乡村俱乐部少招犹太人 主题标签…” |
[22:29] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
[22:30] | I’m sure that must be one crackpot. | 肯定就这么一个疯子 |
[22:33] | And 70 of the crackpot’s friends. | 还有那疯子的70个好友 |
[22:36] | Turn off the Internet! | Turn off the Internet! 快把网断了吧 |
[22:40] | What if Jack’s secret is that he doesn’t want Jews in his country club? | 万一杰克的秘密 就是他不希望自己所在的 乡村俱乐部有犹太人呢? |
[23:03] | You happy? Now I’m not talking to my boyfriend either. | 你开心了吧? 现在我也跟我男朋友不说话了 |
[23:11] | [sighs] | |
[23:12] | Fuck that. | 我真是够了 |
[23:13] | How is it that no matter what you do to someone, it’s never your fault? | 为什么不管你对别人做了什么 错的人从来都不是你? |
[23:17] | I know. I’ve struggled with this irony, too. | 我知道 我也为这种讽刺感到烦心 |
[23:20] | [Mallory] Then struggle with this: | 那你听听我的想法吧 |
[23:22] | I was seeing if I could actually get a job that wasn’t given to me by my sister. | 我就是想知道除了我姐姐 还会不会有人雇我 |
[23:28] | I wanted to know that I was worth something… | 我想知道自己对于他人是有价值的 |
[23:31] | to someone on my own merits. | 仅仅凭借我自己的本事 |
[23:36] | Didn’t you feel that exact same way with Mom? | 你不是也一直寻求妈妈的认同吗? |
[23:38] | [groans] | |
[23:40] | Yes. | 是的 |
[23:42] | Okay, I get it. Sort of. | 好吧 我懂了 算是吧 |
[23:44] | But… | 可是… |
[23:46] | I thought we were kind of in this together now, Mal. | 我还以为你会永远跟我做下去 玛洛 |
[23:49] | Why didn’t you ever tell me that? | 那你怎么没跟我说过? 老天 |
[23:51] | [exhales] Oh, Jesus. | |
[23:53] | Why can’t the people in my life just know how hard it is for me | 为什么我遇到的人不明白 让我说好听话有多难 而且别再因为这种事让我烦心? |
[23:56] | to say nice things and stop fucking bothering me about it? | |
[24:00] | Do you see how hard everything is for me, Mal? | 你知道一切对我来说 有多难吗 玛洛? |
[24:02] | Yeah, no, it’s so tough. It’s so, ugh! | 知道 不 这太难了 这也太… |
[24:05] | Well, none of it matters now because I’m sure you got the job. But… | 现在这些都不重要了 因为我确定你得到那工作了 可是… |
[24:12] | you should stay. | 你应该留下来 |
[24:13] | I want you to stay. | 我希望你留下来 |
[24:17] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
[24:24] | I am staying. | 我会留下来 |
[24:27] | But you should know that I didn’t get the job. | 但我应该告诉你 我没得到那份工作 |
[24:30] | -What? -Yeah. | -什么? -是的 |
[24:31] | Well, you have to give me names, | 那你告诉我对方是谁在负责招聘 |
[24:33] | ’cause I’m gonna be making some phone calls | 因为我要打几个电话 告诉他们 他们就是白痴 而且我还要感谢他们这么白痴 |
[24:35] | and telling them that they are fucking idiots | |
[24:38] | and thank them for being fucking idiots. | |
[24:43] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
[24:48] | And I will go with you to short rib on Friday. | 我周五会跟你们一起去吃牛小排 |
[24:52] | Great. | 好极了 |
[24:53] | But don’t tell Barry yet. | 但先别告诉巴里 |
[24:55] | He’s much more generous in bed when he’s depressed. | 他情绪不高的时候 在床上反而表现更好 |
[25:01] | [dog barks] | |
[25:05] | [door opens] | |
[25:11] | Before you say anything, I’m not mad. | 在你说任何话之前 我没在生气 |
[25:14] | I know you’re under a lot of stress, so I forgive you. | 我知道你压力很大 所以我原谅你了 |
[25:17] | [Sol] No! | 不! |
[25:19] | I reject your forgiveness. | -我拒绝你的原谅 -什么? 不行 你不能这么做 |
[25:21] | What? No, you can’t do that. | |
[25:24] | I just did. Because I lied to you, and you should be mad. | 我刚就这么做了 因为我对你说谎了 你应该对我生气 |
[25:28] | Well, I’m sorry. | 那对不住了 |
[25:30] | I just don’t think it’s healthy for me to be mad at you right now. | 我只是觉得现在对你发火 对我来说不健康 |
[25:33] | That! That right there. That’s what I don’t want. | 这样!就是这样 我讨厌的就是这样 |
[25:36] | Well, what do you want? | 那你想怎样? |
[25:37] | To be treated like a normal guy for five minutes. | 像个正常人一样被对待 哪怕就五分钟 |
[25:40] | But instead, you and everyone else keep rubbing cancer in my face. | 但你却和其他人不停地 提醒我得癌症的这个事实 |
[25:44] | -That’s not true. -Oh, yeah? Well, I know for a fact | 不是的 好吧 我确信的是 |
[25:48] | Coyote snuck my credit card back into my wallet this week. | 凯奥迪这周偷偷把我的信用卡 塞回到我钱包里了 |
[25:51] | And if that isn’t rubbing cancer in my face, I don’t know what is. | 如果这都不算 那我不知道什么才算了 |
[25:58] | I’m sorry, Sol. | 对不起了 索尔 |
[26:00] | I just… | 我就是…想去一个 不必想这事儿的地方 |
[26:01] | wanted one place I could go | |
[26:05] | and not have to think about it. | |
[26:07] | Well, you should’ve led with that! | 那你应该先出招的 我处理事情的态度就是逃避 |
[26:09] | -[exhales] -Not dealing with things | |
[26:10] | is my preferred way of dealing with things. | |
[26:13] | Grace hated that about me. You hate it about me. | 格蕾丝讨厌我这点 你也讨厌我这点 |
[26:16] | I see the value in it now. | 我现在觉得这种做法挺好的 |
[26:18] | Well, I’m… just trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do here. | 其实 我… 我就是想弄清楚自己该怎么做 |
[26:24] | -I’m a little lost. -Me, too. | 我有点困惑 我也是 |
[26:29] | Can we be lost together? | 我们可以一起困惑吗? |
[26:31] | Yes. | 可以 |
[26:35] | And I’ll try to be better about telling you what I need. | 我以后会努力把自己的需要告诉你 |
[26:38] | Okay. | 好的 |
[26:41] | Robert, would you care to attend my cancer denial group? | 罗伯特 你愿意参加我的 否认癌症小组吗? |
[26:46] | What exactly would that entail? | 你们一般会做什么? |
[26:49] | -We eat crappy food… -Mm-hmm. | 我们吃难吃的食物 |
[26:51] | …and we don’t talk about feelings. | 不会谈论自己的感受 |
[26:53] | I feel so seen. | 这不是我的强项吗? |
[26:55] | [laughs] | |
[26:59] | -Hey. | -Hey. 嘿 |
[27:00] | Can we talk out here for a minute? | 我们能聊聊吗? |
[27:02] | Uh, yeah, but if we don’t leave soon, we’ll miss our reservation. | 好啊 但如果我们现在不出发 就有可能错过预定 |
[27:04] | I’m not sure you’re gonna want to go after I tell you what I have to tell you. | 在我跟你说完必须要说的话之后 我不确定你是否还想去了 那你说吧 |
[27:08] | Oh, well, I’m listening. | |
[27:11] | I hope I take it as well as you did. | 我希望也能像你一样淡然处之 |
[27:15] | You know how there are those people, who, when they get older, | 你知不知道有些上了年纪的人 |
[27:18] | they end up needing hearing aids because it gets harder to hear? | 他们因为听力下降不得不戴助听器? |
[27:22] | Especially in cool new restaurants? | 尤其是在很酷的新餐厅里 |
[27:24] | Yeah, I’ve heard legend of, yes. | 我知道 对 |
[27:27] | Well, them peeps be me. | 其实 我就是那类人中的一个 |
[27:30] | I’ve needed hearing aids for years, but I was too embarrassed to get them. | 我几年前就得戴助听器了 但我实在不好意思去买 |
[27:34] | Frankie, I-I don’t mean to belittle your experience, but… | 弗兰基 我无意贬低你的经历 但… |
[27:39] | why would I not want to go to dinner with you after that? | 为何我在知道后 会不想跟你去吃晚餐? |
[27:42] | Because if I hadn’t been too embarrassed to get them, | 因为要不是我太不好意思戴助听器 |
[27:45] | I… I would have been able to hear what you told me the other night. | 我就一定能听清楚 你那晚跟我说了什么 |
[27:50] | But I didn’t. So I couldn’t. | 但我没戴 所以也没听清楚 |
[27:52] | And now I have no idea what you’ve tried to tell me. | 我根本不知道你跟我说了什么 |
[27:55] | You’re serious? | 你是认真的吗? |
[27:56] | -You didn’t hear me? At all? -No, not a word. | -你一定都没听到我的话? -对 一个字都没有 |
[27:59] | -[exhales] -But on the upside, I can hear you now. | 但好处是 我现在能听清了 |
[28:03] | And I want to hear whatever you have to say. | 我想知道你那晚说了什么 |
[28:07] | Okay, here it goes. | 好吧 我再讲一遍 |
[28:09] | Years ago, I told everyone I went to rehab for drinking. | 多年前 我告诉所有人 我是因为酗酒问题去了疗养院 |
[28:14] | Oh, that’s no problem. | 这不算什么啊 |
[28:16] | I lived with my son for years in rehab. | 我跟我儿子在疗养院住了很多年 |
[28:18] | I wasn’t supposed to, | 我本来不用进去的 但我藏得很好 |
[28:20] | -but I hid really well. -Hmm. | |
[28:22] | But that wasn’t the truth. | 但事实不是那样的 |
[28:24] | Oh. | |
[28:26] | Twist. | 转折来了 |
[28:29] | Oh, twist. | 是不好的转折 |
[28:31] | The truth is, I didn’t go to rehab. | 其实我没去疗养院 |
[28:33] | That’s what I told people because it sounded a lot cooler | 我之所以说是疗养院 是因为这地方 比我实际去的地方酷多了 |
[28:36] | than where I really went. | |
[28:37] | Where did you really go? | 那你去了哪里? |
[28:39] | I was asked rather insistently | 我被强烈要求暂时不要融入社会 |
[28:43] | not to be a part of society for a little bit. | |
[28:46] | Well, that’s… that’s not a big deal. | 这没什么大不了的 |
[28:49] | I did my nickel. Five hours at Disneyland jail. | -我也坐过牢 -你… 在迪士尼的监狱里被关了五个小时 |
[28:53] | No. I spent several months in a psych hospital. | 不是的 我在精神病院住了几个月 |
[28:58] | I had a miserable divorce that went on forever, | 我经历了一场旷日持久的离婚战 |
[29:02] | and I did not react well. | 那件事对我打击很大 |
[29:05] | I may have mailed my wife’s rabbit to the president. | 我可能把我妻子的兔子寄给总统了 |
[29:09] | And they blew him up pretty quick. | 他们很快就炸死了它 |
[29:13] | Wow, that is heavy. | 哇哦 这件事好沉重 |
[29:15] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
[29:17] | I guess not everybody can deal with it. | 我想一般人都接受不了 |
[29:21] | I’m not everybody. | 可我不是一般人 |
[29:24] | No, you’re not. | 对 你不是 网站更新好了 |
[29:26] | [chuckles] | |
[29:34] | Oh, the website is updated. | |
[29:37] | Should be no more confusion now. It’s clearly a toilet. | 应该不会让大家困惑了 显然我们的产品是马桶 |
[29:40] | We’ve disavowed all the hate groups | 我们否认了所有在“升起”运动中 发声的仇恨组织 |
[29:42] | that co-opted the Hashtag Rise Up campaign. | |
[29:47] | We sent that anti-Semite the complete works of Elie Wiesel | 我们给那个反犹太分子 寄去了所有埃利维瑟尔的作品 |
[29:51] | and Seinfeld. | 和《宋飞正传》的影碟 |
[29:55] | That’s the end of the list. | 都做好了 |
[29:57] | Now what? | 现在做什么? |
[29:59] | Now everybody hates us. | 现在所有人都讨厌我们了 |
[30:01] | On the bright side, it seems that, in this time of extreme polarization, | 但积极之处在于 貌似在这场 极度两极分化的运动中 |
[30:06] | we’ve brought all these disparate groups together in hate against a common enemy. | 我们利用仇恨把各种不同的组织 凝聚在了一起 反抗共同的敌人 |
[30:11] | Yeah, our toilet. | 对 就是我们的马桶 |
[30:13] | -Hmm. -[Grace exhales] | |
[30:15] | -[cell phone chirps] -Oh. | |
[30:17] | This could be a positive tweet. | 可能会是一条比较积极的推文 |
[30:21] | “Your toilet sucks.” | “你们的马桶糟透了” 亲们 |
[30:24] | Oh, darlings. | |
[30:26] | We’re sunk. | 我们完蛋了 |
[30:27] | [“I Did It” by Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats plays] | |
[30:30] | ♪ Oh, now, baby, don’t you do it wrong I did it ♪ | |
[30:33] | ♪ I did it ♪ | |
[30:34] | ♪ If I crack, won’t ya keep it going I did it ♪ | |
[30:38] | ♪ I did it ♪ | |
[30:40] | ♪ Break my back, work my bones ♪ | |
[30:43] | ♪ If I lie, don’t do me wrong ♪ | |
[30:45] | ♪ I did it ♪ | |
[30:47] | ♪ I did it ♪ | |
[30:52] | ♪ Hey-ey ♪ | |
[30:55] | ♪ Hey-ey, oh ♪ | |
[31:02] | ♪ I did it ♪ | |
[31:04] | ♪ Hey-ey, mmm ♪ | |
[31:06] | ♪ Hey-ey, ah ♪ | |
[31:09] | ♪ Ah, mmm ♪ | |
[31:12] | ♪ Hey-ey, oh ♪ | |
[31:16] | [woman] Okay, good night! |