时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:06] | [Grace Potter’s “Stuck In The Middle” playing] | NETFLIX 原创剧集 |
[00:12] | ♪ Well, I don’t know Why I came here tonight ♪ | |
[00:16] | ♪ Got the feelin’ That somethin’ ain’t right ♪ | |
[00:20] | ♪ I’m so scared In case I fall off my chair ♪ | |
[00:24] | ♪ And I’m wondering How I’ll get down the stairs ♪ | |
[00:28] | ♪ And there’s clowns to the left of me Jokers to the right ♪ | |
[00:32] | ♪ Here I am Stuck in the middle with you ♪ | |
[00:36] | ♪ Yes, I’m stuck in the middle with you ♪ | |
[00:39] | ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ | |
[00:44] | [CPAP machine humming] | |
[00:50] | [cell phone chimes] | |
[01:15] | [turns machine off] | |
[01:42] | You look like you had a fun evening. | 你看起来今晚过得很愉快 |
[01:44] | [slight chuckle] | |
[01:46] | I have mints and bottled water back there in case you want to freshen up. | 后面有薄荷糖和瓶装水 如果你想精神一下 |
[01:49] | -Thanks. -[Robert] Bob H is the name. | -谢了 -我叫鲍勃H |
[01:52] | The open road, the midnight run, that’s my business. | 开阔的道路、午夜狂奔 这就是我的活计 |
[01:55] | You’re probably wondering why a retired divorce attorney | 你或许在想 一个退休的离婚律师 |
[01:59] | is working as a Lyft driver. | 为何要当来福车司机 |
[02:02] | I wasn’t. | 其实我没在想 |
[02:03] | Well, Michelle D… | 米歇尔D… |
[02:06] | I recently spent some money that I probably shouldn’t have | 我最近没征求我丈夫的允许 |
[02:08] | without asking my husband. So here I am, moonlighting– | 擅自花了一笔钱 所以… 我就只好找个兼职做了… |
[02:12] | Could we maybe please just, like, listen to some music or something? | 能不能听点音乐什么的? |
[02:15] | -Loud and clear. -Thanks. | -没问题 -谢了 |
[02:17] | ♪ Over in Killarney ♪ | 在遥远的基拉尼 |
[02:22] | ♪ Many years ago ♪ | 多年以前 |
[02:27] | ♪ Me mother sang ♪ | 我母亲在歌唱 |
[02:29] | [Joan-Margaret] Where is Frankie? | 弗兰基呢? |
[02:30] | How could she be late to a meeting in her own house? | 我们在她家开会 她怎么会迟到呢? |
[02:35] | Are you new here? | 你是新来的吗? |
[02:37] | Her usual excuse is there was too much traffic on the stairs. | 她一般会以楼梯太拥堵来当借口 |
[02:41] | Doesn’t she know about Waze? | 她不知道位智吗? |
[02:43] | Well, she-she’s just acting out, | 她就是耍性子呢 |
[02:45] | ’cause she thinks that I’m pushing her too hard to prepare for Shark Tank. | 因为她觉得我在准备《创智赢家》时 对她太苛刻了 |
[02:50] | My work visa is riding on this company’s success. | 我的工作签证 可就取决于这家公司的成功了 |
[02:54] | So you two better pull this off | 所以你们俩最好成功 |
[02:56] | or be prepared to pay for my extreme plastic surgery. | 不然就准备好 我做变脸整容手术的钱 |
[02:59] | Don’t worry. We’re not gonna repeat the disaster of our audition. | 别担心 我们不会重蹈试镜时的覆辙 |
[03:02] | I refuse to be humiliated in front of millions of people. | 我拒绝在几百万人面前受到羞辱 |
[03:07] | [Frankie] Get a load of this! | 你们瞧啊! 抱歉我迟到了 |
[03:09] | Bah-bum! | |
[03:14] | [exhales] Sorry I’m late. | |
[03:16] | Ah, but the stairs were a nightmare. | 但楼梯也太堵了 |
[03:18] | The good news is | 好消息是 |
[03:20] | I’ve finished our costumes for Shark Tank. | 我做好我们上《创智赢家》 穿的服装了 |
[03:23] | -[Grace] No. -[exhales] | 不行 |
[03:26] | -I’ve got another one for you. -No. | -我还给你做了一件 -不行 |
[03:28] | It has a popped collar– | 是竖领的… |
[03:30] | No. We are not wearing capes. | 不行 我们不能穿斗篷上镜 |
[03:32] | We’re not vampires, or superheroes, or magicians. | 我们又不是吸血鬼 或超级英雄 或魔术师 |
[03:37] | Thanks for rubbing that in. | 多谢提醒 |
[03:39] | Look, Shark Tank is a really big deal. | 听着 上《创智赢家》是很重要的事 |
[03:42] | [Frankie] Exactly. | 没错 |
[03:43] | That’s why we should stand out. | 所以我们要想办法突出自己 你该开心我都没穿自己的第一选择 |
[03:46] | [exhales] Just be happy we’re not going with my first choice. | |
[03:49] | -Oh, I don’t even want to think about– -Fire! | -我连想都不敢想… -大火! |
[03:52] | [stammers] We’re not gonna look like a couple of crazy old ladies | 我们不能让全国观众觉得 |
[03:54] | on national television. | 我们是两个疯老婆子 |
[03:56] | That’s why they told us to leave the dummy home this time. | 人体模型店这次赶我们走 就是因为这个原因 |
[03:59] | -You think there’s any wiggle room there? -No! | -有任何商量的余地吗? -没有! |
[04:02] | No dummy, no cape… | 不许弄什么人体模型 也不许穿斗篷… |
[04:05] | no scatting. | 也不准有拟声演唱 |
[04:06] | -So, no toilet dance? -[slight chuckle] | 那也不能跳马桶舞了? |
[04:09] | I have just all the luck, right? To be going on national television | 我运气也太好了 对吗? 跟一个不怕丢人的人 |
[04:12] | with somebody who can’t be embarrassed. | 一起上全国性电视节目 |
[04:14] | It’s my superpower, Grace. | 这可是我的超能力 格蕾丝 |
[04:17] | When they see the miracle of our toilet, no one will be laughing at us. | 一旦他们看到我们的神奇马桶 绝对不会有人嘲笑我们 |
[04:21] | Oohing and aahing, yes. | 所有人只会欢呼叫好 |
[04:24] | But laughing, no. | 但他们绝对不会嘲笑我们 |
[04:26] | Where is the miracle toilet? | 神奇马桶呢? |
[04:27] | It’s still in your car, right? | 还在你车里 对吧? |
[04:29] | No. | 没有啊 |
[04:30] | [Frankie] It has to be. | 一定在的 |
[04:32] | We had it coming back from the casino. | 我们从赌场把它拉回来的 |
[04:34] | I remember seeing it before we got the– | 我记得还看到它了 就在我们… |
[04:37] | Flat tire. | 爆胎的时候 |
[04:43] | [gasps] | |
[04:45] | Get that toilet! | 快去把马桶找回来! |
[04:48] | So, first off, I want to welcome you to the Trust Us family. | 首先 我要欢迎你们加入 “相信我们”这个大家庭 |
[04:52] | Welcome to whatever this is. | 随便你怎么欢迎吧 你不必紧张 |
[04:56] | [slight chuckle] There’s no reason to be nervous. | |
[04:58] | I wasn’t until you just said that. | 你没那么说之前 我一点都不紧张的 |
[05:00] | Well, he’s a CPA, and they frighten easily. | 他是个注册会计师 很容易就害怕 |
[05:03] | It’s Trust Us policy to have all interoffice relationships registered. | 根据我们公司的政策 所有办公室恋情必须登记在案 |
[05:07] | Just to make sure everything’s consensual | 以确保一切都是双方同意的 |
[05:10] | -and to have our butts covered. -Uh, okay. Okay. | -也是为了自保 -好的 |
[05:13] | This is already a very different work environment | 这里的工作环境跟我培养的环境 |
[05:16] | than the one I cultivated. | 很是不同 |
[05:18] | Okay. Uh, all right. | 好的 行了 |
[05:20] | Are you two, uh, dating, engaged, married, or in a registered domestic partnership? | 你们俩是约会、订婚 已婚还是登记过的家庭伴侣关系? 我想…应该是约会 |
[05:25] | -Ooh. [exhales] -I guess… dating. | |
[05:28] | Dating? | 约会? |
[05:30] | That’s a… | 这个说法… |
[05:31] | No, don’t check that. | 等等 先别打勾 |
[05:33] | It’s a little casual for someone who held my hand | 这种关系对于一个 在看《我们的一天》每季的大结局时 |
[05:36] | through the This Is Us season finale. | 紧握我的手的人来说未免有些随意了 |
[05:38] | He’s just such a good dad. | 他真是个好爸爸 |
[05:40] | We’re basically a married couple. | 其实我们跟已婚夫妻没两样 是吗? |
[05:43] | [scoffs] We are? | |
[05:44] | Uh, do you have a joint bank account? Split rent? | 那你们有共同的银行账户吗? 分摊房租吗? |
[05:47] | Well, I pay the rent to her. | 我会向她付房租 |
[05:48] | Brianna owns the house and likes to keep the money separate. | 房子是布丽安娜的 她喜欢彼此经济独立 |
[05:52] | Yeah. He still buys Pogs, and I will not support it. | 对 他到现在还买牛奶盖子 我不会支持他的 |
[05:54] | I just got a Battletoads slammer, so… | 我只买了一个 忍者蛙地狱龙舌兰的盖子 所以… |
[05:58] | I’m guessing you don’t have any dependents. | 我猜你们没有什么赡养人 |
[06:01] | Excuse me. We have a dog. | 拜托 我们养了条狗 |
[06:03] | And friends of mine took my sperm. | 而且我的朋友借了我的精子 |
[06:06] | I’m putting “no.” | 这一项就是我就写“无”了 |
[06:07] | So, uh, Barry, uh, how would you define your relationship? | 巴里 你如何定义你们的关系? |
[06:11] | I’d say we’re two unwed people who live together | 我们是两个没有结婚的人在一起同居 |
[06:16] | and aren’t allowed to eat each other’s leftovers. | 而且不能吃彼此的剩饭 |
[06:22] | So I’ll put “roommates.” | 所以我就填“室友”了 |
[06:24] | -Okay. -What? | -好的 -什么? |
[06:26] | I think we’re all set. [chuckles] | 都填好了 |
[06:29] | Wait. What? No. | 等一下 什么?不行 能给我看一下你写了什么吗? |
[06:30] | -Can I please see what you wrote down? -[woman] Uh… | |
[06:32] | Is that a question mark after “consensual”? | “双方同意”后面那是个问号吗? |
[06:38] | [tires squeal] | |
[06:40] | Can you not drive like a maniac? | 你能不能开稳点? |
[06:42] | Can you stop trying to steer? | 你能不能别抢方向盘了? |
[06:46] | How could we let this happen? | 怎么会发生这种事? |
[06:48] | Well, not to play the blame game, | 我这不是在玩应该责怪谁的游戏 |
[06:50] | but I did have to pick Brianna up more than once from field hockey practice | 但我不得不好几次去曲棍球场 接布丽安娜 |
[06:55] | because someone kept forgetting her. | 就因为某人忘性太大了 |
[06:57] | Brianna played field hockey? | 布丽安娜打过曲棍球? |
[07:00] | Wait, wait, this is the spot! I’m positive! | 等一下 就是这里!我确定! |
[07:02] | Stop, stop! | 快停车! |
[07:04] | -[tires squeal] -[Frankie exhales] | |
[07:07] | It’s not it! Go on. Keep going. | 还没到呢!继续 接着开 |
[07:13] | I just think that Jessica and I are ready for the next step. | 我觉得我和杰西卡准备好 进入下一个阶段了 |
[07:16] | I’m-I’m gonna ask her to move in together. | 我打算让她搬过来跟我一起住 |
[07:19] | And you’re sure you’re not rushing into things? | 你确定自己没有操之过急? |
[07:21] | When have I ever done that? | 我什么时候做过这种事? |
[07:23] | When you moved to LA to be with Nadia | 你当初搬去洛杉矶跟纳蒂亚同居时 |
[07:25] | and you forgot to tell Nadia that you were moving to LA to be with Nadia. | 忘了提前告诉她你要帮去跟她同居 |
[07:29] | Yeah, okay. All right. When else? | 好吧 这个我认了 还有吗? |
[07:31] | What about that girl Veronica? | 那个叫维罗妮卡的姑娘呢? 严格来说 维罗妮克是个骗婚的 |
[07:33] | Uh, Veronique was technically a catfish. | |
[07:37] | And things with Jessica and I are different. | 我和杰西卡的关系这次很不一样 |
[07:39] | I know we have a future together, and I’m pretty sure she feels the same. | 我知道我们有未来 我很确定她也这么想 |
[07:44] | That’s great. | 好极了 |
[07:45] | All I’m saying is, when you ask her, | 我的意思是 你问她的时候 |
[07:48] | go slow and make sure you’re on the same page. | 一定不能着急 确保你俩的想法是一致的 |
[07:52] | Right, Robert? | 对吧 罗伯特? 早午餐做好了? |
[08:04] | [exhales] Brunch ready? | |
[08:06] | What’s wrong with you? | 你怎么回事? |
[08:08] | Why do you keep falling asleep? | 怎么总是在打瞌睡? |
[08:10] | Because if I’m awake, I have to listen to this conversation. | 因为如果我醒着 就得听你们之间的对话 |
[08:13] | Your son is a 38-year-old man. | 你儿子是个38岁的大男人了 |
[08:16] | Treat him like one. | 把他当大人看吧 |
[08:18] | Uh, let’s not be too hasty. | 还是别太着急了 我最好去买你想要的那种草莓 |
[08:19] | [cell phone chimes] | |
[08:24] | Oh, I better go get those strawberries you wanted. | |
[08:27] | Be back in an hour. | 我一个小时后回来 |
[08:29] | An hour? Whole Foods is around the corner. | 一个小时?全食超市就在家附近啊 |
[08:32] | Right. But the very best strawberries are at this stand by the airport. | 没错 但最优质的草莓 只有在机场的那个摊位那里有卖 |
[08:40] | I get my strawberries from the Internet. | 我一般都是从网上买草莓 |
[08:44] | I know you do, buddy. | 我知道 伙计 |
[08:47] | Frankie, this is the fourth time we’ve been up and down this street. | 弗兰基 这条街我们都走第四次了 |
[08:51] | Yes, and this is how we found my earring. | 对 我们就是这样找到我的耳环的 |
[08:55] | [scoffs] Well, we’re not looking for an earring. | 好吧 可我们找的不是耳环 |
[08:57] | We’re looking for our toilet. | 我们在找马桶 |
[08:59] | And our toilet is gone. | 可它不见了 |
[09:02] | Grace. | 格蕾丝 |
[09:03] | What? | 怎么了? |
[09:04] | This is why you’re lucky to be partnered with a semi-professional gumshoe. | 现在你该知道有一个半专业的侦探 做搭档有多幸运了 |
[09:10] | What is that? | 那是什么? |
[09:13] | -Grass? -Oh, Watson, you dumb doctor. | -草吗? -华生 你这个笨蛋医生 |
[09:16] | No, these! | 不 我说的是那个 |
[09:20] | Toilet tracks! You know what that means, don’t you? | 马桶留下的痕迹! 你知道这意味着什么吧? |
[09:24] | That we’re two old nutjobs about to track down a runaway toilet? | 我们是两个追踪逃跑了的 马桶的疯婆子? |
[09:27] | Shh. | |
[09:28] | My toilet sense is tingling, and not in the “uh-oh” way. | 我的马桶直觉在叮当作响 而且是在否定你的说法 |
[09:34] | I’m so glad you got my memo about acting normal. | 我很高兴你看到了 我让你表现正常些的便笺 |
[09:38] | Wow, Sol, you make a mean hollandaise. | 哇哦 索尔 你做的荷兰酱真好吃 |
[09:40] | Thank you. It’s called “Sollandaise.” | 谢谢 它叫“索兰酱” |
[09:43] | -See? I told you… -[door opens] | 看见没?我就跟你说他会说“索兰酱” |
[09:45] | -…he was gonna say “Sollandaise.” -[door closes] | |
[09:47] | Sorry, sorry, don’t get up. Did I miss anything? | 抱歉 别起来了 我没错过什么吧? |
[09:51] | Only the part of brunch where we eat brunch. | 你只错过了我们应该一起吃的早午餐 |
[09:54] | It’s okay, I’m sure these airport strawberries | 没关系 我相信他们一直说个不停的 |
[09:56] | I’ve heard so much about are worth the wait. | 机场草莓一定值得等待 |
[10:00] | Funny story about those strawberries. | 说到那些草莓 可就有意思了 |
[10:04] | I went to get them, right? And, uh… | 我去买草莓 对吧?然后… |
[10:06] | But, uh, coming home, I… ate them. | 但我在回家的路上吃光了 |
[10:10] | [Robert chuckles] | |
[10:11] | You know me. [chuckles] | 你们知道我的 |
[10:15] | [Frankie] And voilà. | 找到了 |
[10:16] | [Grace] I cannot believe this actually worked. | 不敢相信这方法居然管用了 |
[10:21] | Porch swing, begonia toilet planter. | 门廊秋千 秋海棠马桶花盆 |
[10:25] | Dollars to doughnuts, this gal makes her own pickles. | 我百分百肯定这家伙 绝对会自制酸黄瓜 |
[10:27] | Well, that’s good for us. Pickle weirdos are usually nice. | 这对我们来说是好事 做酸黄瓜的怪胎一般人比较和善 |
[10:32] | -Why, thank you. -[dog barking] | 谢谢夸奖 |
[10:34] | [doorbell rings] | |
[10:40] | Is this about that fucking lost dog? | 你们是不是因为丢了狗找来的? |
[10:42] | Whoa, hello to you. | 哇哦 你好 |
[10:44] | Uh, um… | |
[10:45] | I’m Grace, this is Frankie. And you are…? | 我是格蕾丝 这是弗兰基 你是… |
[10:48] | Who’s asking? | 你们是谁啊? |
[10:49] | Well, as I just explained, I’m Grace, and… and this is Frank– | 我刚解释过了 我是格蕾丝 然后…这是弗兰基… |
[10:53] | Jesus Christ, if it’ll shut you up, I’m Viv. | 我的老天爷 你闭嘴吧 我是薇薇 |
[10:55] | Sorry to interrupt your brining, Viv. | 抱歉打扰你腌东西了 薇薇 |
[10:58] | Although I realize now I probably am off the mark there. | 尽管我现在意识到我很有可能猜错了 |
[11:02] | But we’re here about a lost toilet. | 但我们是来找一个丢失的马桶的 |
[11:04] | Yeah, and the good news is, we– we found it | 对 好消息是 我们在你家美丽的门廊上找到了它 |
[11:07] | right here on your charming porch. | |
[11:09] | And the bad news is, I don’t give a shit. | 坏消息是 我压根不在乎 |
[11:12] | Yeah, well, we’ll pay you for it! | 好吧 我们会付你钱的! |
[11:14] | Yeah, like a finder’s fee. | 对 就像付介绍费一样! |
[11:17] | I’ll take $70,000. | 那就给我七万美元吧 |
[11:18] | And without the begonias? | 这是不带秋海棠的价格吗? |
[11:20] | You know what, Viv? We were just being polite. | 其实 薇薇 我们刚才跟你很客气了 |
[11:24] | This is our property, and we’re gonna take it back. Get the dolly. | 这个马桶是我们的 我们要把它带走 你去把小推车拿来 |
[11:29] | Touch my planter and I will end you. | 要是敢动我的花盆 我就宰了你们 |
[11:34] | Thanks for your time. | 打扰了 |
[11:39] | -What is it with begonia people… -[door closes] | 种秋海棠的人怎么会这么咄咄逼人? |
[11:41] | …that makes them so aggressive? | |
[11:44] | [grunts] | |
[11:45] | [Frankie exhales] | |
[11:49] | -That was crazy. -How so? | -那也太荒谬了 -怎么讲? |
[11:51] | She was just judging our relationship. | 她在评判我们的关系 |
[11:53] | -She was reading questions off a form. -In a fucking tone. | 她就是在照着一张表问问题 她那种语气真是令人讨厌 |
[11:56] | How antediluvian was this Nicole person, | 这个叫妮可尔的可真是个老古董 |
[11:59] | with her heteronormative glasses and her dumb pen? Right? | 戴着那种异性恋主流价值观的眼镜 还有她那根很傻的笔 对吧? |
[12:04] | Wasn’t her pen so dumb? | 她的笔没那么傻吗? |
[12:06] | Nothing that was said back there wasn’t completely true. | 刚才在那里 所有人说的都是实话 |
[12:09] | -But I don’t feel good about it. -Well, whose fault is that? | -但我却感觉很不爽 -那是谁的错? |
[12:12] | It’s Nicole’s. | 是妮可尔的错 |
[12:15] | Am I not being clear? | 我说得不够清楚吗? 我们得把我们的宝贝拿回来 |
[12:17] | -[exhales] | -[exhales] We’ve got to get our baby back. |
[12:20] | Did you not see the lady with the green thumb and the baseball bat? | 你没看到那个喜欢园艺 但又手拿棒球棒的女士吗? |
[12:24] | Oh, God. Duck! | 老天 快躲起来! |
[12:30] | [engine turns over] | |
[12:36] | [exhales] | |
[12:37] | Goddess bless, this is our chance. | 老天保佑 我们的机会来了 |
[12:40] | We take back the night. | 我们把马桶拿回来 |
[12:43] | No! No, Frankie, what are you doing? | 不行!弗兰基 你要做什么? |
[12:44] | What I was born to do, steal toilets. | 去做我生来就该做的事 偷马桶 |
[12:51] | Well, we were going to have strawberries and cream for dessert, | 本来甜点我们打算吃草莓奶油 |
[12:54] | but I guess now we’ll just be having cream. | 但现在看来 我们只能吃奶油了 |
[12:58] | I, for one, could not be more excited. | 我对此再兴奋不过了 |
[13:01] | Says the guy with the belly full of strawberries, am I right? | 肚子里满是草莓的人如是说 对吧? |
[13:03] | Ooh, sick burn, Jessica. | 高明的讽刺 杰西卡 |
[13:06] | And an interesting talking point. | 也是一个有趣的话题 |
[13:09] | Explain to us one more time how the berries ended up in your belly. | 再跟我们解释一次 草莓怎么进了你的肚子里 |
[13:13] | As you all know, I love nothing more than a good strawberry. | 众所周知 我最喜欢好吃的草莓了 |
[13:17] | Lie. You once told me | 你在撒谎 你曾跟我说过 |
[13:20] | -fruit doesn’t count as dessert. -It doesn’t. | -水果根本不能算作甜点 -确实如此 |
[13:22] | So we’re to believe that someone so notoriously anti-berry | 所以你要我们相信某个 对草莓深恶痛绝的人 |
[13:26] | would suddenly eat all those berries? | 突然吃光了所有的草莓? |
[13:30] | Unless there were no berries. | 除非你根本就没去买草莓 |
[13:34] | -I mean, I am locked in. -Yeah. | -我都听入神了 -是啊 |
[13:37] | Would it be fair to say that you have a history | 你有在车里偷吃快餐食品的习惯 |
[13:40] | of eating secret fast food in your car? | 我没说错吧? |
[13:43] | I have driven through some places, sure. Who hasn’t? | 我去过一些汽车餐厅 这是当然 但谁没有过呢? |
[13:47] | And what place did you drive through today? | 那你今天去了什么汽车餐厅? |
[13:49] | McDonald’s? Taco Bell? | 麦当劳?塔可钟? |
[13:52] | Not Yoshinoya Beef Bowl! | 不会是吉野家牛肉饭吧! |
[13:55] | Excuse me. I have cream to whip. | 失陪了 我得去打奶油了 |
[13:57] | That’s why you have all those mints in your car. | 所以你车里有那么多薄荷糖 |
[14:00] | To hide your burger breath! | 是为了掩盖你嘴里汉堡的气味! |
[14:02] | Do we have to keep talking about my eating habits | 别人有更重要的事要讨论 |
[14:04] | when people here have more important things to discuss? | 你一直在这里大谈我的饮食习惯 这样合适吗? |
[14:11] | Are we the people who have more important things to discuss? | 你是说我们有更重要的事要讨论吗? |
[14:15] | Uh… | |
[14:15] | Oh, we gotta go faster. That lunatic could come home any minute. | 我们得快点 那个疯子随时可能回来 |
[14:18] | Let her come. I’ve got an unopened can of whoop-ass… | 随便她吧 我正迫不及待 |
[14:21] | -[grunts] -…burning a hole in my pocket. | 想找人痛扁一顿 |
[14:24] | [Frankie grunts, pants] | |
[14:26] | -[yells] -Oh. | |
[14:28] | -[vehicle approaches] -[grunts] Damn! | |
[14:30] | -Sweet sexy Santa, it’s stuck! -[car door closes] | -该死! -妈妈咪呀 卡住了! |
[14:33] | -What are we gonna do? -[grunts] | 我们要怎么办? |
[14:35] | Put your hands in the air and step away from the toilet. | 举起双手 离那个马桶远点 |
[14:40] | [indistinct police radio chatter] | |
[14:43] | You are not being singled out. No one is allowed to keep a bird at work. | 你没有被孤立 谁都不能在工作场合养鸟 |
[14:47] | Okay. Hi. Pigeon lady? Out. Time’s up. Go. | 好的 嗨 鸽子女士?你出去吧 时间到了 快走 布丽安娜 我很高兴你过来了 我其实正要… |
[14:51] | Oh, Brianna. I’m glad you stopped by. I was actually going to– | |
[14:54] | No, no, no. I have to talk to you. | 不 我得跟你谈谈 |
[14:57] | Okay. What about? | 好啊 谈什么? |
[14:59] | Just want to make clear, Barry and I are rock-solid. | 我只是想跟你说清楚 我和巴里情比金坚 |
[15:02] | I didn’t say you weren’t. | 我没说你们不是啊 不 你其实那么说了 布丽安娜 你要记住的最重要的一件事 |
[15:04] | Mmm, yeah-huh, you kind of did. | |
[15:07] | Uh, Brianna, the most important thing to keep in mind here is | |
[15:11] | I super don’t care about your relationship. | 就是我真的不在乎你的恋爱关系 |
[15:13] | Great. Then you won’t mind correcting that form and making it read “rock-solid.” | 好极了 那你把那个表改一下 确定它给人一种“情比金坚”的感觉 |
[15:21] | Yep. Sure. | 好的 没问题 |
[15:25] | And done. | 改好了 |
[15:27] | -Thank you. -Yeah. | -谢谢 -不客气 |
[15:30] | Great. | 很好 |
[15:32] | And what was it that you want to talk to me about? | 你想跟我说什么来着? 对 是这个 |
[15:35] | Oh, right. This. | |
[15:38] | It’s an offer from Taneth. | 是一份来自塔内思的工作邀请 |
[15:42] | For a promotion. | 你升职了 |
[15:44] | You would still supervise Say Grace, plus a few subsidiaries. | 你依然会监管优雅说 和其他几个子公司 |
[15:47] | Uh, and you get your own bathroom. | 你的办公室里会自带卫生间 |
[15:50] | Is this bathroom in San Francisco? | 这个卫生间是在旧金山吗? |
[15:53] | Yes. | 对 |
[15:54] | With the job. | 这份工作也是 |
[15:57] | Oh. | |
[15:59] | Officers, this isn’t what it looks like. | 警官 不是你们想的那样 |
[16:02] | You’re not stealing a toilet? | 你们不是在偷马桶? |
[16:03] | I guess it is what it looks like. | 我猜看起来像是这样 |
[16:05] | We didn’t steal it. | 我们这不是偷 |
[16:06] | The woman that lives over there stole it from us. | 是住在那边的那个女人偷走了它 |
[16:09] | We know all about Viv. | 我们很了解薇薇 你要是了解薇薇 |
[16:12] | Uh, if you know Viv, | |
[16:13] | you’d know that she hates it when people touch her begonias. | 就该知道她讨厌别人碰她的秋海棠 |
[16:17] | Yeah, we just need our property back. | 对 我们就是想把自己的东西拿回来 |
[16:20] | Are these stolen SIM cards your property, too? | 这些偷来的手机卡也是你们的吗? 别抵抗了 格蕾丝 |
[16:23] | -[scoffs] -Don’t resist, Grace. | |
[16:25] | Don’t give these brutes a reason. | 别给这些野蛮人提供口实 |
[16:33] | Okay, um… | 好的 |
[16:35] | So, I just kind of wanted to check in | 我就是想知道 |
[16:38] | and see where we’re at. | 我们到哪个地步了 |
[16:42] | Seems like we’re at a brunch with two guys who talk a lot about strawberries. | 貌似我们在吃早午餐 然后有两个人大谈草莓 |
[16:46] | Yeah, they do. | 对 没错 |
[16:47] | But, um… I meant… | 但我说的是… |
[16:50] | uh, where we are with the relationship. | 我们的关系发展到哪一步了 |
[16:52] | Oh. | |
[16:54] | Oh! | |
[16:56] | I-I just want to make sure we’re on the same page. | 我只想确保我们的想法是一致的 |
[16:59] | Sure. | 当然了 |
[17:01] | Yes! | 对! |
[17:02] | If you want to. I’m sorry. | 如果你想的话 抱歉 |
[17:04] | These kind of conversations make me really nervous. | 这种对话让我非常紧张 |
[17:08] | Me, too. I mean, um… | 我也是 我是说… |
[17:12] | Okay, how about this? | 好吧 不如这样吧 |
[17:14] | I’ll count to three. | 我数到三 |
[17:16] | You say what you’re looking for, and I’ll say what I’m looking for. | 你说出你的想法 我也说出我的想法 |
[17:21] | Okay. | 好的 |
[17:25] | -One, two, three. Moving in together. -Marriage. | 一、二、三 -同居 -结婚 |
[17:28] | Wait, what? | 等一下 什么? |
[17:31] | Let’s try that again. I didn’t understand the rules. | 我们再来一次 我刚才不太了解规则 |
[17:33] | -Yeah. Me neither. -[clears throat] Okay. | -对 我也是 -好的 |
[17:37] | One, two, three. | 一、二、三 |
[17:39] | -Marriage. -Moving in together. | -结婚 -同居 |
[17:41] | [slight chuckle] | |
[17:43] | [slight chuckle] | |
[17:45] | Best two out of three? | 不如三局两胜定? |
[17:47] | Okay. | 好啊 |
[17:48] | If that doesn’t work, we could try four out of six. | 如果那样不行 我们可以试试六局四胜 |
[17:51] | Cool. | 好的 |
[17:52] | I think it’s clear by now we don’t even know what SIM cards are. | 我想现在情况很清楚 我们都不知道电话卡是什么 |
[17:55] | This is not my first tango with the fuzz. Let me do the talking. | 这不是我头回面对这种情况了 让我说 |
[17:58] | -Yeah, but I’ve got– -Shh, shh. | 好 但我… |
[18:00] | I’m gonna lay this out for you plain and simple. | 我会清楚明了地跟你们解释一下 |
[18:03] | We are business ladies. | 我们是女商人 |
[18:05] | We did vaginal lube, we did vibrators, and now we do toilets. | 我们研制过阴道润滑液 按摩震动器 现在我们在研制马桶 |
[18:10] | Didn’t see that coming. | 这个我可没想到 |
[18:12] | And we’re taking this little puppy here on Shark Tank. | 我们要带这个小家伙上《创智赢家》 |
[18:17] | Okay, we’re free to go. | 好了 我们可以走了 |
[18:19] | That’s what we say. And you’re not. | 这由我们说了算 你们不能走 |
[18:21] | Here’s the problem, ladies. We knew these were supposed to move today. | 问题是这样的 两位女士 我们知道这些电话卡今天会被卖掉 |
[18:25] | -And here you are moving them. -No, we were moving the toilet. | -然后发现你们在卖它们 -不 我们在搬马桶 |
[18:28] | Oh, right, the one you’re taking on Shark Tank. | 对 你们要带去 上《创智赢家》的马桶 |
[18:30] | [both] Yes! | 对! |
[18:31] | Because this is a special toilet we invented, | 因为这是我们研制的一款特殊马桶 |
[18:35] | when she got stuck on the can | 当时她卡在马桶上站不起来 |
[18:36] | and didn’t want her much younger husband to find out. | 又不想让比她年轻许多的丈夫 发现这件事 |
[18:39] | -He’s a billionaire. -Uh-huh. | 他是个亿万富翁 |
[18:41] | So we knew we needed to make something | 所以我们知道我们得发明一样东西 |
[18:44] | to replace her pulley-system with the statue, | 代替她那个雕塑拉伸系统 |
[18:46] | because it got sent to the president of Uruguay. | 因为那个雕塑被送去乌拉圭总统府了 |
[18:51] | Here. This is how it works. | 瞧 它的工作原理是这样的 |
[18:53] | [mimics the sound of gears] | |
[19:00] | It works better with my dummy. | 换成人体模型 效果会更好一些 |
[19:03] | Okay, Frankie, let me do the talking now. | 行了 弗兰基 让我说 |
[19:06] | I know that everything that came out of her mouth sounded totally insane. | 我知道她说的每句话都很荒谬 |
[19:11] | -Yeah. -But in her defense, it’s true. | -对 -但从她的立场来说 一切都是实话 |
[19:14] | It-It is true. | 真的 |
[19:15] | We got a flat tire coming back from… from the, uh, Shark Tank audition. | 我们在从《创智赢家》试镜 回家的路上爆胎了 |
[19:19] | We left our prototype on the road. | 就把产品模型放在了路边 |
[19:21] | Viv found it and used it to… to hide her SIM cards. | 薇薇看到了它 就用它… 藏自己的电话卡 |
[19:26] | -Look. Here. -Ah-ah-ah. | 你们瞧 这里 |
[19:28] | Whoa. | 哇哦 |
[19:29] | Well, look in my purse. | 你们翻翻我的包 |
[19:31] | You’ll– You’ll find the release forms from Shark Tank. | 就能找到《创智赢家》的授权协议书 |
[19:34] | Oh, and our business card | 还有我们的名片 |
[19:35] | which shows that we make lubes and vibrators and soon-to-be toilets. | 上面写着我们制造润滑液 震动器 以及未来要面世的马桶 |
[19:40] | It checks out. | 跟她说的对得上 |
[19:42] | I’ll be damned. So you are really going on Shark Tank. | 真是不可思议 你们真的要上《创智赢家》 |
[19:44] | -Yes. -Was I unclear before, copper? | -对 -我刚说的不清楚吗 条子? |
[19:47] | Remember? | 还记得吗? 老天 |
[19:50] | -[mimics the sound of gears] -Oh, God. | |
[19:52] | Well, when you go on Shark Tank, | 你上《创智赢家》的时候 |
[19:55] | you might want to leave this one at home. | 最好别带上她 |
[19:58] | [scoffs] | |
[19:59] | Mm-hmm. | |
[20:00] | [car door opens] | |
[20:02] | -[car door closes] -[engine turns over] | |
[20:06] | Where’s Jessica? | 杰西卡呢? |
[20:07] | Uh, she’s in the ladies’ room, trying out Mom’s invention. | 她在卫生间 体验妈妈的新发明 |
[20:11] | Hey, I wanted to thank you for forcing an important discussion earlier. | 嘿 我想谢谢你刚才 逼着我说出那个重要的谈话 |
[20:15] | Sorry about that, but your father was on the warpath. | 抱歉了 但你父亲刚才对我穷追猛打 |
[20:18] | I’m still on the warpath. | 我现在也还是 |
[20:19] | It’s okay. It actually turned out really well, I think. | 没关系 其实我觉得结果还不错 |
[20:23] | -What do you mean? -Well, we’re either moving in together | -什么意思? -我们要么会同居 |
[20:26] | or getting married, or some combination of the two. | 要么会结婚 或者两个一起进行 |
[20:29] | I’m not sure in which order or if any of it’s really happening. | 我也不知道哪个先来 或这两件事究竟会不会发生 |
[20:32] | The point is, we’re on the same page. | 关键是 我俩的想法是一致的 |
[20:35] | You’re on the same page about not having any idea what you’re doing? | 你们在不知道自己该怎么办这件事上 想法是一致的? -对 -很多人谈恋爱的时候 |
[20:40] | -Yes. -That’s par for the course | |
[20:42] | in most relationships. | 都会这样 |
[20:45] | Well, that was fun. [chuckles] | 那个马桶真好用 |
[20:48] | Ooh, is that Wheat Thins and cream? | 那是小麦薄饼和奶油吗? |
[20:51] | I’m afraid so. | 恐怕是的 |
[20:54] | I’m gonna call us a Lyft. | 我叫来福车吧 |
[20:55] | Thank you so much for brunch. You guys are awesome. | 非常感谢你们的早午餐 你们真是太好了 |
[20:58] | [cell phone chimes] | |
[21:00] | [Jessica] Found. Great. | 叫到了 真好 |
[21:02] | Oh, wow, our driver is… | 哇哦 我们的司机 |
[21:05] | -zero minutes away. Great. -[message decline sound] | 距离我们0分钟 太好了 |
[21:07] | Huh. | |
[21:09] | He just canceled. | 他刚取消订单了 |
[21:10] | -We have two old bikes in the garage. -No, let me try. Um… | 车库里有两辆旧自行车 不用 我来试试 |
[21:15] | All right, set pickup location. | 好的 确定上车地点 |
[21:17] | -[cell phone chimes] -Huh. | |
[21:19] | -Same guy. Zero minutes away. -[message decline sound] | 还是那个人 距离我们0分钟 |
[21:22] | You know, I think one of our neighbors could be a Lyft driver. | 其实 我觉得我们的一个邻居 可能是来福车司机 |
[21:25] | Mr. Purcelli. | 普切利先生 |
[21:26] | Didn’t he recently buy all those heirloom rose bushes? | 他最近是不是买了那种 原种的玫瑰树丛? |
[21:30] | Where did that windfall come from? | 他怎么突然发财了? |
[21:31] | -Hmm. -[cell phone chimes] | |
[21:33] | Did somebody put something in the microwave? | 是不是有人往微波炉里放了东西? (来福车 鲍勃H) |
[21:39] | Robert, are you a Lyft driver named Bob H? | 罗伯特 你是叫鲍勃H的来福车司机吗? |
[21:48] | -[Brianna] Barry. -Hey. | -巴里 -嘿 |
[21:51] | I have some very exciting news. | 我有个非常令人兴奋的消息告诉你 |
[21:54] | Oh, Linda gets to bring her bird to work? | 琳达可以带她的鸟来上班了? |
[21:57] | No. | 不是 |
[21:58] | But remember how you were complaining | 还记得你总是抱怨 |
[22:00] | about how you live in my house, and you only have one shelf in the closet? | 说住在我家里 但我只让你用衣柜的一小格吗? |
[22:04] | I didn’t mention my shelf, but, yeah. | 我没说过这件事 但确实如此 |
[22:06] | What if we were to get a new place with two closets? | 如果我们搬去一个 有两个衣柜的地方呢? |
[22:10] | Well, we actually have two closets. You just won’t let me use– | 其实我们家就有两个衣柜 只是你不肯让我用… |
[22:13] | Okay, fine, three closets. Whatever. | 好了 那就三个衣柜 随便吧 |
[22:16] | Yeah, and getting a new place together would be nice. | 嗯 换一个新地方住是个不错的主意 |
[22:19] | -Right? -Yeah. | -对吧? -对 |
[22:20] | And what if it were in beautiful San Francisco? | 如果这个地方是… 风景秀丽的旧金山呢? |
[22:25] | Why San Francisco? | 为什么是旧金山? |
[22:27] | Because you love sourdough bread. | 因为你很喜欢吃酵母面包啊 |
[22:29] | And because Trust Us offered me a sweet new gig there, and I took it. | 还因为“相信我们”给我提供了 一个不错的工作机会 我接受了 |
[22:35] | -What? -And don’t worry, | -什么? -但你别担心 |
[22:36] | I’ll hook you up with a job. I’m going to be in charge | 我会帮你找份工作的 我会负责管理 |
[22:38] | of a lot of subsidiaries, whatever that means. | 很多子公司 管那是什么意思 |
[22:41] | -In San Francisco. -Mm-hmm. | 但工作在旧金山 |
[22:44] | I can’t believe you did this. | 真不敢相信你这么做了 |
[22:46] | I know. | 我知道 |
[22:48] | I mean, look at me, I’m really thinking about our future. | 我是说 你想啊 我真的是在为我们的未来考虑 |
[22:51] | You mean your future. | 你说的是你的未来吧 |
[22:57] | -What? No. -Yeah, I’m not going to San Francisco. | -什么?不是的 -就是的 我是不会去旧金山的 |
[23:01] | But the bread… | 可那里的面包… |
[23:02] | I don’t even eat bread anymore. You won’t let me. | 我早就不吃面包了 你不让我吃 |
[23:05] | That’s because when you eat bread, I want to eat bread, and I’m not eating bread. | 那是因为你吃面包的时候 让我也很想吃 但我不能吃面包 |
[23:08] | Liz and Erin are having their baby, and I want to be around, | 丽兹和艾琳就要生宝宝了 我想待在这里 |
[23:11] | which you’d know if you actually talked about our future with me. | 如果你真的跟我谈论过我们的未来 就应该知道我的想法 |
[23:17] | [scoffs] | |
[23:25] | Robert, is there something you’d like to say to me? | 罗伯特 你有什么要跟我说的吗? |
[23:28] | I’m going to level with you. | 我就跟你说实话吧 |
[23:30] | I don’t think those two kids are going to make it. | 我觉得那两个孩子成不了 |
[23:33] | I was thinking more about your secret driving profession. | 我说的是你偷偷当来福车司机这件事 这个啊 |
[23:35] | Oh, that. | |
[23:38] | Yeah, so, uh, what do you want to know? | 好啊 那你想知道什么? |
[23:41] | How about we start with everything? | 不如你把来龙去脉都告诉我吧 |
[23:43] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 没问题 |
[23:46] | It all started when the theater went down. | 这一切都始于剧院经营不下去 |
[23:48] | Robert, I’m sorry we couldn’t give the money. | 罗伯特 很抱歉我们不能拿出那笔钱 |
[23:52] | I know, but I really miss it. | 我知道 但我真的很想念它 |
[23:55] | You know, the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd. | 演员的喧嚣声 人群中弥漫着的油彩味 |
[23:59] | But you know what I really miss? | 但你知道我最想念什么吗? |
[24:01] | -The camaraderie. -Of course. | -同志之间的友情 -当然了 |
[24:03] | That makes perfect sense. | 这我就理解了 |
[24:06] | But what doesn’t make any sense is why you’re driving a car for money. | 但我不理解的是你为何开来福车赚钱 |
[24:12] | You’re not an actor, Sol. | 你没当过演员 索尔 |
[24:14] | You don’t understand that giving an audience an experience it’s never had | 所以你不理解给观众一场 令他们难以忘怀的表演 |
[24:19] | is the same thrill as driving someone you’ve never met to Sav-on. | 就像开车载一个陌生人 去药店那样兴奋 |
[24:23] | I really don’t understand that. | 我是真的不理解 |
[24:25] | Which is why I couldn’t tell you. | 所以我才没办法告诉你 |
[24:28] | [Sol] But… | 但是… |
[24:34] | if it’s excitement you want, and camaraderie, | 如果你想要的是兴奋感 和同志之间的友情 |
[24:38] | how about we go on the honeymoon we never got to have? | 我们不如去度一直没度成的蜜月吧 |
[24:43] | Like a cruise. | 比如说邮轮游 |
[24:45] | I’m not sure a fancy cruise– | 我不确定豪华邮轮游… |
[24:47] | I know it’s no trip with a stranger to Sav-on. | 我知道这比不上载陌生人去药店 |
[24:51] | But it ticks all the boxes. | 但它也能满足你的需求 |
[24:52] | Meeting new people, going new places, | 认识新朋友、去没去过的地方 如果这还不够让你兴奋 |
[24:55] | and if that’s not thrilling enough, | |
[24:57] | are you aware of the term “midnight buffet”? | 你知道“午夜自助餐”这个说法吗? |
[25:02] | It was my nickname in college. | 那是我上大学时的外号 |
[25:04] | Well, dust off the elastic waist. | 那我们这次就不勒紧裤腰带了… |
[25:07] | We’re going… | |
[25:09] | first-class all the way. | 一路都享用最好的服务 |
[25:12] | If you’ve got the money, spend it. | 有钱就得花出去嘛 |
[25:23] | -What are you doing? -I’m throwing away the stupid capes. | 你在做什么? 我在丢掉这两件破斗篷 |
[25:27] | Okay. I’m-I’m glad we’re not wearing them on Shark Tank. | 好吧 我很高兴我们不会 穿它们上《创智赢家》了 |
[25:31] | You could still wear yours to run errands. | 但你出去办事的时候还是可以穿啊 |
[25:33] | I’ve already got an errand cape. | 我已经有办事时穿的斗篷了 |
[25:36] | And I’m not going on Shark Tank. | 而且我也不打算上《创智赢家》了 |
[25:38] | Excuse me? | 你说什么? |
[25:41] | You heard what that cop said about me. | 你也听到那警察的话了 你什么时候开始听警察的话了? |
[25:44] | [scoffs] Since when do you listen to cops? | |
[25:47] | Since they started saying exactly what you’ve been worried about, | 自从他们说出你一直担心的事 就是所有看电视的人 |
[25:50] | that everyone out there in TV land | |
[25:52] | will see us as doddering old fools talking about a potty. | 都会把我们看作 两个叫卖马桶的老太婆 |
[25:56] | I admit that I have worried about that. | 我承认我是担心过那一点 |
[25:58] | But it’s my job in this partnership to worry. | 但身为你的搭档 我的职责就是担心 |
[26:01] | Well, you don’t have to anymore, because we are not the joke. I am. | 那你以后不必这样了 因为我们不是笑话 我才是 弗兰基 你才不是什么笑话 |
[26:05] | Oh, Frankie, you’re not a joke. | |
[26:08] | I just don’t want to be some kind of sideshow. | 我只是不想当一个搞杂耍的 |
[26:11] | I’ll just get in the way. | 我只会碍事 |
[26:13] | You came up with this. | 可升降马桶是你的创意 |
[26:16] | You are the way. I’m not gonna go there alone. | 你才是这件事的关键 我不要自己上节目 |
[26:19] | Butch doesn’t go out there without Sundance. | 布屈和日舞小子从来都是一起行动 |
[26:22] | And the last time they went out together, they were blown to pieces. | 但他们最后一次行动时 被炸成了渣 |
[26:26] | Oh, God. Listen. | 老天 你听好了 |
[26:28] | Ever since you and I became you and me, | 自从我们成为搭档 |
[26:31] | we’ve done a lot of crazy shit, | 就做了很多疯狂的事 |
[26:33] | but we’ve always done it together. | 但我们一直都是一起行动 |
[26:37] | And it’s turned out pretty damn well. | 而且结果也都很好 |
[26:40] | You know? And we always have the last laugh. | 其实 笑到最后的总是我们 |
[26:43] | ‘Cause one of us is a mad genius, and the other one is really smart. | 因为我们其中一个是个疯狂的天才 另一个非常聪明 |
[26:47] | I’m the mad genius, right? | 我是疯狂的天才 对吧? 对 |
[26:50] | [chuckles] Right. | |
[26:51] | So get the damn capes out of the trash, | 所以你给我把斗篷捡回来 |
[26:54] | ’cause we are going on Shark Tank. | 因为我们一定要上《创智赢家》 |
[26:56] | Oh, shit. That was good stuff, woman. I have goose bumps. | 该死 女人 你这番话真感人 我都起鸡皮疙瘩了 |
[27:01] | You know what? | 你知道吗? |
[27:02] | You are just first-rate, kid. I’m not kidding. | 孩子 你是最优秀的 我没在开玩笑 |
[27:06] | You’re first-rate too, Frankie. | 你也是最优秀的 弗兰基 |
[27:10] | Are you gonna really wear the cape? | 你真的会穿那个斗篷吗? 去你的 才不会 |
[27:12] | [scoffs] Fuck, no. | |
[27:15] | [laughs] | |
[27:16] | [“(I’ve Got) Trouble In Mind” by The Limiñanas plays] | |
[28:02] | [woman] Okay, good night! |