| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Kids, once your Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily | 孩子们 当马修叔叔和莉莉阿姨 |
| [00:04] | found a nanny for baby Marvin, | 为小马文找好保姆后 |
| [00:05] | they were excited for their first night out together in five months. | 他们为五个月以来的第一次夜晚外出 兴奋不已 |
| [00:09] | And so were we. | 我们也是 |
| [00:11] | Mama. Dada. | 老妈 老爸 |
| [00:16] | Ah, so, now that there’s no | 现在 这里没有 |
| [00:19] | screaming baby to distract us, | 哭闹的宝宝让我们分心 |
| [00:21] | – what have you guys been up to lately? – Yeah. | -说说你们各自的近况吧 -对啊 |
| [00:23] | This was a surprisingly loaded question. | 这可是个一言难尽的问题 |
| [00:25] | You see, right after Marvin was born, | 自从马文出生以来 |
| [00:27] | Lily and Marshall had issued a decree. | 莉莉和马修颁布了一项新规定 |
| [00:30] | New Rule.You can’t come to us with any issue | 新规定 除非你们的问题在8分或以上 |
| [00:34] | unless it’s an eight or higher. | 否则不要来找我们 |
| [00:36] | And we were doing our best to abide. | 而我们也在努力遵守 |
| [00:39] | Ted, how are things going with Victoria? | 泰德 你和维多利亚进展如何 |
| [00:43] | My dad made the funniest joke. | 我爸说了个超好笑的笑话 |
| [00:44] | He said that since you’re the reason I left the wedding, | 他说我逃婚既然是因为你 |
| [00:47] | you owe him the $70,000 he paid for it, | 那他为婚礼支出的7万美元 你来还 |
| [00:50] | or else. | 不然你就惨了 |
| [00:53] | You know, he’s not usually funny like that. | 他平常可没这么有趣哟 |
| [00:57] | Not promising, but not an eight. | 前景不明朗 但算不上8分 |
| [01:00] | Everything’s great. | 一切顺利 |
| [01:03] | And Robin, how’s everything with Nick? | 罗宾 你和尼克怎么样了 |
| [01:06] | Finally ready for a ride on the bike? | 终于准备好踏上摩托之旅了吗 |
| [01:08] | Who? Me? | 说我吗 |
| [01:11] | Let’s ride, Big Daddy. | 出发吧 大老爹[出自电影《冒牌老爸》] |
| [01:16] | Oh, yeah. | 太帅了 |
| [01:20] | Mama likey. | 老娘喜欢 |
| [01:26] | Robin, over here. | 罗宾 在这边 |
| [01:30] | Eco-friendly. | 这车才环保 |
| [01:32] | She runs on corn. | 玉米动力车 |
| [01:36] | Totally lady bone killer, but not an eight. | 简直让人性致全无 但算不上8分 |
| [01:40] | Everything’s great. | 一切顺利 |
| [01:42] | And how are things for the old Barnacle? | 那巴尼呢 近况如何啊 |
| [01:50] | Not an eight. | 算不上8分 |
| [01:51] | At best, she was a six, six and a half. | 她撑死了才6分 6.5分吧 |
| [01:54] | More like a four by the time I was done with her. | 滚完床单后 也就值4分吧 |
| [01:56] | Mental self-five. | 自己跟自己击个掌吧 |
| [01:58] | Everything’s great. | 一切顺利 |
| [02:00] | To long-awaited MacLaren’s return of Marshall and Lily. | 敬期待已久的马修和莉莉重返麦克伦酒吧 |
| [02:07] | I’ve missed this. Okay. We got to go. | 我太怀念这里了 好了 我们该走了 |
| [02:09] | W-what? You just got here. | 什么 你们才刚到啊 |
| [02:10] | I cleared my whole night for you guys. | 我特意为你们空出了一整晚 |
| [02:12] | I didn’t even bring my booty-call phone. | 我甚至连约炮电话都没带 |
| [02:15] | Oh, I’m sorry, but we just really need some time to ourselves. | 抱歉 但我们真的需要些私人时间 |
| [02:18] | I promise we’ll hang out soon. | 我保证很快会再聚的 |
| [02:20] | – See you guys. – Bye. | -再见了各位 -拜 |
| [02:23] | * Booty, booty, booty, booty rocking everywhere | 约炮约炮约炮 炮遍全世界 * |
| [02:25] | * Booty, booty, booty, booty rocking everywhere | 约炮约炮约炮 炮遍全世界 * |
| [02:28] | * Booty, booty, booty, booty | 约炮约炮约炮 * |
| [02:29] | Yeah, like I’m going to leave this at home. | 好像我真会把它留在家里似的 |
| [02:31] | Barney Stinson. How may I direct my penis? | 我是巴尼・斯丁森 请为我的”神雕”指路 |
| [02:35] | It is so nice to be out in the fresh air. | 能出来透透新鲜空气真好 |
| [02:38] | You smell that? | 你闻到了吗 |
| [02:39] | That’s the smell of urine that isn’t Marvin’s. | 这尿的味道终于不是马文的了 |
| [02:41] | Oh, God, I miss that smell. | 天啊 我超想那个气味 |
| [02:44] | You know, I thought we’d spend the whole time worrying about Marvin, | 我原以为我们会一刻不停地惦记着马文 |
| [02:46] | but it’s actually nice to be out | 但能出来透透气 |
| [02:48] | – in the world, living life. – Yeah. | -享受下生活真不错 -是啊 |
| [02:55] | Death is all around us. | 死神随时都会降临 |
| [02:58] | Wow, that urine smell just got a lot stronger. | 那股子尿味刚突然变强了 |
| [03:12] | 老爸老妈浪漫史 | |
| [03:16] | So, you guys spent your first night out in five months, | 你们五个月以来 第一个自由的夜晚 |
| [03:19] | sitting at home planning for your own deaths? | 就是坐在家里为你们的死亡做计划 |
| [03:21] | Yeah, we found this Web site that helps you make a will. | 对 我们发现了一个帮人立遗嘱的网站 |
| [03:24] | In the event of your death… Ooh! | 假如你不幸去世… |
| [03:27] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [03:27] | It-it’s just-just real sad to think about. | 只是想到这个真的很伤心 |
| [03:30] | Oh, I know. | 我知道 |
| [03:32] | In the event of your death… | 假如你不幸去世… |
| [03:34] | Okay, no, you know what? | 好了 不如这样 |
| [03:36] | Let’s just start with something easy. | 我们从一些简单的条目做起 |
| [03:38] | Please enter your zip code. | 请输入你的邮编 |
| [03:41] | We’ll never get mail again. | 我们再也不会收到邮件了 |
| [03:45] | I keep reassuring Lily that this is all hypothetical. | 我一直安慰莉莉 这一切都是假设 |
| [03:48] | Relatively speaking, New York City is very safe. | 相对而言 纽约是非常安全的 |
| [03:51] | Please, faulty elevators, exploding manhole covers, | 拜托 电梯故障 井盖爆炸 |
| [03:55] | jealous husbands. | 因爱生恨的老公 |
| [03:56] | This place is a coroner’s paradise. | 这地方简直是验尸官的天堂 |
| [03:59] | They are way more likely to eat it in a mugging gone wrong. | 抢劫升级成杀人的案件更是数不胜数 |
| [04:02] | There was a double hommy on your block like a week ago. | 一周前你们的街区就发生了两起凶杀案 |
| [04:04] | Caught it on the scanner during lunch. | 午餐的时候 在扫描机上看见的 |
| [04:06] | Knife job. | 拿刀子捅啊 |
| [04:07] | Guy made a real mess of it too. | 当时的场面真是惨不忍睹啊 |
| [04:12] | Anyway, | 话说回来 |
| [04:13] | then we got to the section about picking a guardian. | 我们后来来到挑选监护人的环节 |
| [04:16] | Sometimes couples choose one of their parents as a guardian. | 有的夫妻会选一位自己的父母作为监护人 |
| [04:20] | That makes it simple. | 这样简单多了 |
| [04:22] | My mom. | 就我妈了 |
| [04:23] | Your mom? | 你妈 |
| [04:24] | What’s wrong with my mom? | 我妈怎么了 |
| [04:26] | Are you… | 你是不是… |
| [04:31] | 45分钟后 | |
| [04:31] | Fine. All right. | 好吧 行了 |
| [04:33] | Marvin won’t go to my loving mother. | 不把马文交给我亲爱的母亲 |
| [04:35] | But he’s got to go to somebody. | 但他总得有个去处吧 |
| [04:37] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [04:38] | What about my mom? | 我妈妈怎么样 |
| [04:40] | Your mom? | 你妈 |
| [04:41] | Um, excuse… | 拜托 |
| [04:50] | 78分钟后 | |
| [04:50] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [04:51] | Not my mom. | 不给我妈 |
| [04:53] | What about my dad? | 我爸爸呢 |
| [04:55] | Your dad? | 你爸 |
| [04:56] | 1分钟后 | |
| [04:56] | Okay, yeah, he’s out. | 好吧 他出局了 |
| [04:58] | Wait a minute. You know who could be good? | 等等 你知道谁最合适吗 |
| [05:00] | My brother Marcus. | 我哥哥马库斯 |
| [05:01] | He’s like a great dad. | 他是个好爸爸 |
| [05:03] | Do you remember his Christmas card? | 你还记得他的圣诞卡片吗 |
| [05:04] | 圣诞快乐 马库斯 莎拉 马丁 马库斯二世 | |
| [05:08] | Questionable denim choices aside, Marcus is a good dad. | 除了牛仔裤 马库斯确实是个好爸爸 |
| [05:12] | I guess if Marvin has to go to anyone, it should be family. | 如果要寄养马文 家人是最好的选择 |
| [05:15] | Okay, great. | 好的 很好 |
| [05:17] | Okay. | 好 |
| [05:19] | Marcus, hey, how’s it going? | 马库斯 近来好吗 |
| [05:20] | Pretty freaking sweet, buttwipe. | 老子好得很 臭小子 |
| [05:23] | I packed up all my crap, I said, | 我把一切东西收拾好 |
| [05:25] | “See ya” To Sarah and the kids, | 告别了莎拉和孩子们 |
| [05:27] | and I finally got my dream job | 终于在”寻欢作乐二号店” |
| [05:29] | as a mixologist down here at Carnalism 2. | 得到了梦寐以求的调酒师工作 |
| [05:32] | Hold on. | 等等 |
| [05:33] | Some punk’s trying to use his snorkel rental as a bong. | 有个白痴想用租来的潜水通气管吸大麻 |
| [05:37] | You be packin’ that bowl too tight, mon. | 拜托 你大麻放太多了吧 |
| [05:43] | So, now we don’t have a guardian. | 所以我们现在还是没找到监护人 |
| [05:45] | You know, as your best friend, | 作为你的挚友 |
| [05:48] | if called upon, I’d be honored to raise Marvin. | 如有需要让我来抚养马文 荣幸之至 |
| [05:51] | If you want him to be raised by his underwear on a flagpole, | 如果你们想马文生活在 用旗杆晾内裤的环境中 |
| [05:54] | Ted’s your guy. | 那就选泰德吧 |
| [05:55] | If you want him pulling the chord on some other nerd’s panties, | 如果你们想让他成为欺负书呆的恶霸 |
| [05:58] | I’m your guy. | 那选我准没错 |
| [05:59] | I’ll teach that kid how to be awesome | 我会教他如何成为了不起的人物 |
| [06:01] | in ways you and Lily never could. | 这是你和莉莉永远教不会的 |
| [06:03] | It’s going to be legend… | 这将成为传… |
| [06:05] | …wait for it, no, I won’t wait for it | 等等 算了 不等了 |
| [06:06] | and neither should little baby Marvin, | 小马文也等不及了 |
| [06:07] | so maybe it’s better if you two just die right now… | 所以你俩最好现在就死了算了 |
| [06:09] | …dary. | …奇 |
| [06:11] | And so began the longest week of Lily and Marshall’s lives. | 莉莉和马修最漫长的一周开始了 |
| [06:23] | 改编自儿歌《Old McDonald Had a Farm》 | |
| [06:23] | * Bro McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-bro | 麦当劳兄有农场 便宜了兄弟 * |
| [06:28] | * And on that farm he had some chicks | 农场里面有小妞 * |
| [06:30] | * E-I-E-I-bro | 便宜了兄弟 * |
| [06:32] | * With a hot chick here and a dumb chick there… | 一美妞在东 一傻妞在西 * |
| [06:43] | 改编自儿歌《Let your kite fly high》 | |
| [06:43] | * Bro, bro, bro your broat | 兄弟 兄弟 划起你的兄弟船 * |
| [06:45] | * Gently to the bar | 轻轻划向酒吧 * |
| [06:47] | * Hit on sluts, then do ten shots and… | 发现浪女 喝上十杯… * |
| [07:06] | 改编自儿歌《The Wheels on the Bus》 | |
| [07:06] | * The boobs on the bus go up and down | 车上的咪咪 抖啊抖 * |
| [07:09] | * Up and down, up and down | 上下抖 左右抖 * |
| [07:11] | * The boobs on the bus go up and down | 车上的咪咪 抖啊抖 * |
| [07:20] | * All through the town. | 一路抖过城 * |
| [07:25] | You think you can bribe them with a stroller? | 你以为用婴儿车就能贿赂他们吗 |
| [07:27] | They already got one, fool. | 傻子 他们已经有一个了 |
| [07:29] | Oh, this is no stroller, Robin. | 这不是婴儿车 罗宾 |
| [07:31] | I call it the Broller. | 我称之为”兄弟车” |
| [07:33] | Go ahead. Look inside. | 来 看看里面 |
| [07:38] | I don’t get it. I don’t see anything. | 看不懂 什么都没有 |
| [07:39] | Yeah, but Papa does. | 那是 不过爸爸懂 |
| [07:44] | Those Robin’s boobies? | 那是罗宾的咪咪吗 |
| [07:46] | When new nubile hotties lean in to inspect your bundle of joy, | 当性感辣妹弯腰来看你的孩子时 |
| [07:49] | you can inspect their bundles of joy. | 你也可以看她的那对奶子 |
| [07:52] | The Broller. | “兄弟车” |
| [07:53] | God, I come up with a lot of good stuff. | 天啊 我真是个天才发明家 |
| [07:55] | Hey, guys, hey… Hey. | 大伙儿 |
| [07:57] | Lily and I need you to come upstairs. | 莉莉和我想请你们到楼上来 |
| [08:00] | This is an important decision | 这是个很重要的决定 |
| [08:01] | and we can’t have you constantly interrupting us | 我们不能让你们幼稚的竞争 |
| [08:03] | with this childish competition. | 不断打扰我们的生活 |
| [08:06] | Which is why we’re going to make it | 所以我们要来一场 |
| [08:08] | an official competition! | 正式的比赛 |
| [08:11] | We’re going to play Who Wants to Be a Godparent? | “争夺教父母”大赛 |
| [08:13] | Right after this word from our sponsors. | 广告之后 马上回来 |
| [08:18] | Why is he talking to the wall? | 他为什么对着一面墙讲话 |
| [08:25] | Wait, this is how you’re going to choose a guardian for Marvin? | 你们就用这个选出 谁是马文的监护人啊 |
| [08:28] | I mean, why don’t you just put us in a three-way cage match | 那不如让我们参加三人搏斗铁笼赛 |
| [08:30] | and go with whoever’s left standing? | 谁赢就归谁不得了 |
| [08:32] | We talked about that, but it gave Robin an unfair advantage. | 我们也想过 但是罗宾有压倒性的优势 |
| [08:36] | Yeah, you see, guys, we were really struggling with this decision. | 伙计们 其实我们也很难做出抉择 |
| [08:39] | * All through the town. | 一路抖过城 * |
| [08:44] | Babe, I know these guys have been | 亲爱的 我知道他们最近 |
| [08:45] | – a little over the top lately. – A little? | -有点夸张了 -才有点吗 |
| [08:49] | But we still have to pick a guardian just in case. | 不过为了以防万一 我们还是得选个监护人 |
| [08:52] | In case of what? | 万一什么 |
| [08:53] | Don’t make me say it. | 别逼我说出来 |
| [08:54] | Say it. I can handle it. Say it. | 说吧 我能接受 说吧 |
| [08:57] | In case we die. | 万一我们死了 |
| [09:01] | How can you even say it? | 你还真说得出口 |
| [09:05] | And then I thought what do you do | 然后我就在想怎么去处理 |
| [09:06] | if you got a wife who won’t stop crying, | 我有个老婆一直在哭 |
| [09:09] | three idiots who won’t stop bribing you, | 有三个傻蛋一直在贿赂自己 |
| [09:11] | and a universally beloved skill for gamesmanship? | 还有一个人见人爱的制胜绝招 |
| [09:15] | You take a bunch of guardianship scenarios, | 于是我想了一堆监护人该做的事 |
| [09:17] | throw them on a wheel, | 写在转轮上 |
| [09:18] | buy your wife an expensive dress, so she’ll participate. | 给老婆买一条昂贵的裙子 不然她不参加 |
| [09:20] | I’m pretty again. | 老娘又貌美如花了 |
| [09:21] | Bottom line is I just wanted | 最重要的是 我只是想 |
| [09:23] | to make the idea of me and Lily dying… | 让”万一我和莉莉死掉…”这个想法 |
| [09:26] | fun. | 变得有趣 |
| [09:27] | Now, if you’ll step behind your podiums, we’ll get started. | 现在 请各就各位 我们要开始了 |
| [09:33] | Contestants, | 各位选手 |
| [09:34] | here’s how the game works. | 比赛规则如下 |
| [09:35] | Lily will spin that wheel. Not yet. | 莉莉会转动转轮 先别动 |
| [09:38] | When it lands on a parenting issue, | 指针指向育儿问题时 |
| [09:40] | you’ll each describe how you would handle it with Marvin. | 你们将各自阐述会如何处理 |
| [09:43] | The contestant with the highest score gets to be | 分数最高的选手将成为 |
| [09:45] | his godparent. | 马文的教父或教母 |
| [09:46] | Ready to play? Great. Lily, | 准备好了吗 很好 莉莉 |
| [09:48] | spin that wheel! | 转动转轮 |
| [09:54] | Okay, now, see, um, enthusiasm will factor into your scores. | 听着 热情度也会影响你们的得分 |
| [09:57] | So, I say again: | 我再说一次 |
| [09:58] | Lily, spin… | 莉莉 转动 |
| [09:59] | Spin that wheel! | 转动转轮 |
| [10:06] | 我们的死亡 | |
| [10:09] | Our demise. | 我们的死亡 |
| [10:12] | Barney, how would you explain to little Marvin | 巴尼 你要怎么向小马文解释 |
| [10:15] | – why we’re not around anymore? – No. | -我们不在人世的原因 -太残忍了 |
| [10:20] | Easy, all I’d have to do is change a few words | 很简单 我只要把我的泡妞金句 |
| [10:23] | to one of my classics with the ladies. | 改几个词就可以了 |
| [10:25] | The President of the World has called your parents away | 世界总统安排你的父母 |
| [10:28] | on a super-secret space mission. | 去执行一项机密的太空任务 |
| [10:30] | For the sake of the planet, you will never see them again. | 为了地球的安危 你再也见不到他们了 |
| [10:34] | Now pick up your toys and say good night to Daddy. | 收拾好你的玩具 和爸比说晚安吧 |
| [10:36] | What do you know? That last line stays the same. | 真好 最后一句不改也适用 |
| [10:38] | Judges? | 评委意见 |
| [10:41] | Okay, Robin, what would you do, and remember, | 罗宾 你会怎么做呢 记住 |
| [10:44] | “President of the World called parents away | “世界总统安排你的父母 |
| [10:46] | for a super-secret space mission” has already been taken. | 去执行一项机密的太空任务”已经有人用过了哦 |
| [10:49] | Well, my dad was always upfront and honest with me, | 我爸对我从不拐弯抹角 一向实话实说 |
| [10:52] | so that’s how I would be. | 所以我也会这样 |
| [10:54] | All right, kid, here’s the deal with the deal. | 好了 孩子 你给我听好了 |
| [10:56] | Your mom and dad are done-ski. | 你爸妈已经玩完了 |
| [10:58] | Belly-flopped off a subway platform. | 扑通一声摔下地铁站台 |
| [10:59] | Mom busted open like a pinata. | 你妈被地铁碾开了花 |
| [11:02] | What was left of your dad hung around for a few days. | 你爸残留的部分 在医院苟延残喘了几天 |
| [11:04] | Anyway, plug’s pulled. Organs donated. | 总之 生命仪器关了 器官也捐了 |
| [11:06] | Long story short: I’m your new mommy now. | 长话短说 我就是你新妈妈了 |
| [11:09] | Sah-wish! | 节哀顺便吧 |
| [11:13] | Well, I was saving these for the showcase, | 我本来是想留着当摆设的 |
| [11:17] | but here. Hey, Lily, look, baby, | 现在只好 莉莉宝贝 你看 |
| [11:20] | his-and-her watches. | 情侣表哦 |
| [11:24] | Ted, the category’s all yours. | 泰德 你有何高招呢 |
| [11:27] | Okay, here’s what I would say. | 我的做法是 |
| [11:29] | Well, Marvin, explaining where your parents are | 马文 要解释你父母的去向 |
| [11:32] | isn’t gonna be easy. | 并不容易 |
| [11:34] | Even I– Lily and Marshall’s best friend | 就算是我 莉莉和马修最好的朋友 |
| [11:39] | for almost 20 years– | 有着近20年的深厚友情 |
| [11:43] | will have a hard time doing it. | 也无法轻松地完成这事 |
| [11:45] | But I do know a guy who’s very good at this sort of thing. | 但我知道有个人 特别擅长这种事 |
| [11:51] | Professor Infosaurus! | 恐龙教授 |
| [11:54] | Hey, there, squirt! | 你好啊 小调皮 |
| [11:55] | Death is a difficult yet unfortunate certainty. | 死亡虽然不幸 但却无法避免 |
| [12:00] | Good enough! | 很好 |
| [12:03] | Ted wins the round! | 这一轮是泰德赢 |
| [12:04] | Yes! Yes! You’ll see. | 太好了 太好了 你们等着吧 |
| [12:05] | Professor Infosaurus will be a big, big hit with children. | 恐龙教授肯定大受孩子们的欢迎 |
| [12:10] | Isn’t that right, kids? | 是不是啊 孩子们 |
| [12:16] | Moving on. | 我们继续 |
| [12:18] | 惩罚 | |
| [12:20] | “Discipline.” | 惩罚 |
| [12:21] | “How would you handle Marvin taking another kid’s toy?” | “当马文拿了其他小孩的玩具 你会怎么做” |
| [12:26] | Barney? | 巴尼 你来 |
| [12:27] | That’s easy. | 小菜一碟 |
| [12:33] | I’m calling Child Services. | 我要向儿童机构举报你 |
| [12:34] | Wait for it. | 别着急嘛 |
| [12:36] | I’ll return your $1,900 alligator-skin belt | 除非你把玩具还给小朋友 否则我要没收 |
| [12:40] | when you return that toy. | 你那条价值1900元的鳄鱼皮皮带 |
| [12:41] | Until then, you can wear this | 在此期间 你就用这条丑陋无比 |
| [12:44] | disgusting black-and-brown reversible belt. | 半黑半棕的双面用皮带吧 |
| [12:51] | Hey, I don’t like it any more than you do! | 哭屁啊 我和你一样不喜欢这条皮带 |
| [12:55] | Ted, how would you discipline little Marvin? | 泰德 你会如何惩罚马文呢 |
| [12:58] | I would be firm. | 我绝对严格 |
| [13:00] | Fair, but firm. | 公平 但不失严格 |
| [13:04] | You, sir, just lost your television privileges. | 好了 以后不准看电视 |
| [13:08] | Okay, you can watch TV, but nothing violent. | 好吧 可以看电视 但是不准看暴力节目 |
| [13:12] | Okay, it can be violent, | 好吧 可以看暴力节目 |
| [13:13] | but you have to do the dishes first. | 但不洗碗不准看 |
| [13:17] | Okay, I’ll do the dishes, you watch TV. | 好吧 碗我来洗 电视你看 |
| [13:19] | Let’s go get some ice cream! Come on! | 我们弄点冰激凌吃 好不好 |
| [13:22] | But no sprinkles. | 但冰激凌不准撒糖屑 |
| [13:26] | – Robin? – Okay, sprinkles. | -罗宾 你呢 -好吧 可以撒糖屑 |
| [13:28] | Um, I would do what my dad did: tough love. | 我将贯彻我爸的做法 严厉教育法 |
| [13:33] | You know where you’re headed, chief? | 小子 知道我要送你去哪吗 |
| [13:35] | 英属哥伦比亚省是加拿大的一个省 | |
| [13:35] | The British Columbia Military School for Boys. | 英属哥伦比亚男童军校 |
| [13:38] | Of course, you’re actually a boy, | 当然 你本身是男孩 |
| [13:40] | so at least you won’t have to shave off all your hair | 所以你至少不用剃掉满头秀发 |
| [13:42] | and burn your “Girlie” clothing in an old oil drum | 也不用把你的女生衣服 扔进油桶里烧掉 |
| [13:44] | while your father stands there | 烧的时候 你爸还站在旁边 |
| [13:46] | and laughs at you through the flames! | 在火焰中冲你哈哈大笑 |
| [13:50] | Oh, my God! | 往事不堪回首啊 |
| [13:53] | I think that Robin wins this round | 这一轮是罗宾赢 |
| [13:56] | because we love her | 因为我们都爱她 |
| [13:58] | and she’s in a safe space, right, guys? | 而且她现在很安全 对吧 |
| [14:01] | – Robin matters! – Yay! Totally. | -罗宾最重要 -绝对是 |
| [14:02] | Now, that’s just one point, right? | 同情分只能算一分哦 |
| [14:04] | Lily. | 莉莉 |
| [14:05] | A spin… that… wheel! | 转轮 转起来 |
| [14:14] | “Birds and Bees.” | 两性知识 |
| [14:16] | Barney, “How would you teach young Marvin | 巴尼 “你会如何向小马文 |
| [14:18] | about the facts of life?” | 传授人性本能呢” |
| [14:22] | You’re gonna love Amsterdam, little bro. | 你会爱死阿姆斯特丹的 老弟 |
| [14:22] | 荷兰阿姆斯特丹是性自由之都 以开放的性态度和性文化著称 | |
| [14:31] | Okay, Barney’s out of this round. | 这一轮巴尼出局 |
| [14:33] | Ted, how would you handle “The talk”? | 泰德 你会如何进行”两性之谈”呢 |
| [14:36] | Well, Marvin would be a young adult, | 那时马文也算半个成年人了 |
| [14:38] | so you wouldn’t want to talk down to him. | 不能摆出居高临下说教的样子 |
| [14:42] | But that doesn’t mean you can’t get down with him. | 但可以用别的方式让他理解 |
| [14:46] | * When two adults wish to procreate | 一男一女想生娃 * |
| [14:48] | * They lay together and copulate | 于是就把爱来做 * |
| [14:51] | * Male gametes, spermatozoa | 男人精子一发射 * |
| [14:54] | * Implant themselves in the ladies’ ova! | 女人卵子就击破 * |
| [14:56] | * Break it down! | 一发即中 * |
| [14:59] | I’m sorry, don’t you need to actually have had sex | 打断一下 泡不到妞的人 |
| [15:01] | in order to explain it? | 还能给人解释性事吗 |
| [15:03] | Professor Infosaurus also has a rap about ignoring bullies. | 恐龙教授还有首讲忽略恶霸的饶舌歌哦 |
| [15:08] | Robin? Birds and bees? | 罗宾 两性知识 |
| [15:10] | Well, I, for one, don’t think | 我个人觉得 |
| [15:12] | you have to teach Marvin a thing. | 完全没必要教育马文两性知识 |
| [15:14] | If he’s anything like his dad, | 他如果有他爸的基因 |
| [15:16] | he’s a natural-born stud. | 那就是天生的种马 |
| [15:19] | Lily got a little braggy | 莉莉曾在黄瓜摊前 |
| [15:21] | at a cucumber stand once, big guy. | 大大吹嘘过一番哟 “大家伙” |
| [15:25] | Robin wins again! | 罗宾再次获胜 |
| [15:26] | – Oh, come on! – That’s clearly pandering! | -拜托 -赤裸裸的拍马屁 |
| [15:28] | A spin… that… wheel! | 转轮 转起来 |
| [15:32] | We played long into the night, | 我们玩到了深夜 |
| [15:33] | eventually making it to the dreaded… | 终于进入了最可怕的 |
| [15:35] | Lightning round! | 限时抢答环节 |
| [15:41] | First word! | 人生第一词 |
| [15:44] | Beam. | 横梁 |
| [15:46] | Actually, that’s a joist, | 其实呢 那个叫托梁 |
| [15:48] | which carries the stress of the ceiling | 是用来承受天花板的压力 |
| [15:49] | versus the primary architectural load. | 和主体建筑重量的 |
| [15:52] | But that’s my boy! | 不过你真是我的乖孩子 |
| [15:54] | Nerd! | 书呆子 |
| [15:56] | That’s my boy! | 你真是我的乖孩子 |
| [15:58] | First heartbreak! | 第一次为爱心碎 |
| [16:00] | I know this hurts, little buddy, | 我知道你很伤心 小家伙 |
| [16:02] | but you’ll love again someday, | 不过以后你会有新的恋情 |
| [16:04] | because time will heal a broken heart. | 因为时间可以治疗心碎 |
| [16:07] | But not that bitch’s window. | 但是治不好那小贱人的窗户 |
| [16:10] | Run! | 快逃 |
| [16:14] | Yeah, right. I’ve seen Barney throw. | 得了吧 我见过巴尼扔东西 |
| [16:16] | He’s no Vinnie Pestano, am I right? | 他可不是威尼・派斯坦洛 我说得对吧 |
| [16:20] | Beloved Indians’ middle reliever. | 那个受人爱戴的印第安人棒球队中继投手啊 |
| [16:24] | Cleveland sports are still relevant. | 克利夫兰的体育依然有重大意义 |
| [16:25] | LeBron who? Right, guys? | 勒布朗是从哪来的 没错吧各位 |
| [16:25] | 勒布朗・詹姆斯离开克利夫兰骑士加盟迈阿密热火队 | |
| [16:28] | Ted, neither you nor Cleveland | 泰德 你或是克利夫兰人 |
| [16:30] | knows how to get over someone leaving them. | 都不懂如何忘掉抛弃你们的人 |
| [16:33] | Here’s how you’d handle heartbreak. | 你处理心碎的办法估计就这样吧 |
| [16:35] | Cheer up, squirt. | 振作点 小家伙 |
| [16:36] | There are plenty of other wonderful women out there. | 外面的世界还有很多好女生 |
| [16:40] | But I thought that she was the one. | 但我以为我的真命天女就是她了 |
| [16:47] | I’ll be at Uncle Barney’s. | 我要去巴尼叔叔家 |
| [16:49] | This is ridiculous. | 这太荒唐了 |
| [16:51] | I’ve known you for 16 years. | 我认识你们16年了 |
| [16:53] | I’m the obvious choice. | 我是不二的选择 |
| [16:54] | Oh, come on, if Ted raises him, | 拜托 如果由泰德来养大他 |
| [16:56] | the poor kid’s still gonna be a virgin when he’s 13. | 那可怜的孩子到13岁时还会是处男 |
| [16:58] | I’m the obvious choice. | 我才是不二的选择 |
| [17:00] | Hey, look, as the only one of us packing a vag, | 作为我们之中唯一有阴道的人 |
| [17:02] | I got a natural instinct for nurturing and crap like that. | 我对照顾孩子之类的屁事有天生的本能 |
| [17:05] | Plus, I can teach him how to bow hunt. | 而且 我可以教他弓箭打猎 |
| [17:07] | – Yeah, I could do that. – I am Barney Stinson! | -我可以的 -我可是巴尼・斯丁森 |
| [17:12] | Guys, guys, guys! | 伙计们 伙计们 |
| [17:13] | Okay! All right! | 好了 够了 |
| [17:15] | Obviously, none of you knows | 很显然 你们都不懂 |
| [17:16] | what it really means to be a parent. | 为人父母的真正意义 |
| [17:19] | Well… obviously, neither of you | 很显然 你们两个 |
| [17:21] | know what it means to be a friend anymore. | 再也不懂做朋友的意义 |
| [17:25] | What are you talking about? | 这话什么意思 |
| [17:26] | Think about it. | 想想吧 |
| [17:28] | This is the most we’ve seen you two in five months. | 今天是这五个月来 我们跟你们俩见面时间最长的一次 |
| [17:31] | You don’t seem to care what’s going on in our lives | 你们似乎对我们的生活毫不关心 |
| [17:33] | unless it’s an eight or higher. | 只有8分或以上的事才能叫动你们 |
| [17:36] | Well, what do you expect? | 你们还想怎么样 |
| [17:37] | – We have a baby now. – Yeah. | -我们现在有孩子了 -是啊 |
| [17:39] | The days of closing down MacLaren’s are over. | 在麦凯伦混到打烊的日子已经结束了 |
| [17:42] | Unless you want to get up with us | 除非你们想和我们一样 |
| [17:44] | at 5:13 in the morning with a screaming baby. | 每天早上在5点13分被宝宝的哭声吵醒 |
| [17:47] | So that’s it? | 就这样了吗 |
| [17:48] | The… the end of an era, just like that? | 一个时代结束了 就这样吗 |
| [17:51] | Look… we’re sorry if-if we don’t have time | 听着 我们很抱歉我们没时间 |
| [17:54] | to sit around the bar | 坐在酒吧里 |
| [17:56] | listening to silly little dating problems. | 倾听各种傻气的恋爱小问题 |
| [17:59] | When you have a baby, | 为人父母后 |
| [18:01] | it’s not just the most important thing in your life, | 孩子不仅仅是人生中最重要的事 |
| [18:04] | it’s the only important thing. | 而是唯一重要的事情 |
| [18:06] | When are you guys gonna get that? | 你们什么时候才能明白这点 |
| [18:08] | Think we get it. | 我想我们明白了 |
| [18:21] | I can’t believe they just walked out. | 不敢相信他们就这样走了 |
| [18:23] | Yeah. Maybe it’s for the best. | 是啊 或许这样才好 |
| [18:26] | Barney was starting to pull ahead. | 因为巴尼开始领先了 |
| [18:28] | I mean, how selfish can they be? | 他们怎么能这样自私呢 |
| [18:30] | We’re trying to raise a child here. | 我们正努力抚养一个孩子呢 |
| [18:32] | I’m sorry if I don’t have time to deal with Ted’s… | 我很抱歉 我没有时间去管泰德的… |
| [18:35] | um…. o-or Robin’s… | 或是罗宾的… |
| [18:40] | or-or Barney’s… | 或是巴尼的… |
| [18:49] | You know, we were about to name one of them Marvin’s godparent, | 我们将让他们其中之一做马文的教父母 |
| [18:52] | and… I can’t tell you | 而我却不知道 |
| [18:54] | what’s going on in any of their lives. | 他们的生活到底过得怎么样 |
| [19:01] | Do you think that maybe | 你觉得或许 |
| [19:04] | we’ve been a little crappy as friends lately? | 我们最近是没有尽到好朋友的责任吗 |
| [19:12] | Do you really know how to bow hunt? | 你真的知道如何用弓箭打猎吗 |
| [19:14] | Um, yeah. | 对 |
| [19:15] | At the British Columbia Military School for Boys | 在英属哥伦比亚男子军事学校里 |
| [19:18] | we called it “Making lunch.” | 我们管这个叫”做午饭” |
| [19:20] | Hey, guys. | 各位 |
| [19:22] | We asked Mickey to watch Marvin | 我们让米奇照顾马文 |
| [19:23] | so we could come down and talk. | 这样我们可以下来聊一聊 |
| [19:26] | I know that we didn’t get to finish the game, but… | 我知道游戏没有结束 但是 |
| [19:29] | we’ve reached a decision. | 我们已经做出决定 |
| [19:31] | Lily? | 莉莉 |
| [19:33] | We’ve decided… | 我们决定 |
| [19:37] | …to revoke the “Eight or higher” Rule. | 撤销”8分或以上”规定 |
| [19:40] | What? | 什么 |
| [19:41] | We want to know everything that’s going on with you guys. | 我们想知道你们生活中的一切 |
| [19:44] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [19:45] | You’re our best friends. | 你们是我们最好的朋友 |
| [19:47] | Everything is an eight or higher. | 所有事都是8分或以上 |
| [19:51] | And for the first time in almost half a year, | 那晚是半年来第一次 |
| [19:54] | Lily and Marshall closed down MacLaren’s. | 莉莉和马修在麦凯伦待到打烊 |
| [19:57] | Anyway, | 总之 |
| [19:58] | Victoria’s dad and I are working out a payment plan | 维多利亚的父亲和我研究出了支付方法 |
| [20:00] | with a very reasonable interest rate. | 利息率相当的合理 |
| [20:04] | At least, Nick’s cycle is fuel-efficient– | 至少 尼克的摩托是省油型的 |
| [20:06] | we’re getting, like,30, 35 miles to the cob. | 我们最快飙到了30 或35英里的时速呢 |
| [20:09] | – Really? – Yeah. | -是嘛 -没错 |
| [20:10] | You know, I should’ve told you about that six and a half sooner. | 我应该早点告诉你们那个6.5分的 |
| [20:12] | Barney Stinson banging anything less than an eight? | 巴尼・斯丁森上了一个低于8分的 |
| [20:15] | That’s like a 15. | 这事绝对值15分 |
| [20:17] | And it was a great night. | 那晚很棒 |
| [20:19] | Until… | 直到 |
| [20:21] | 早上5点13分 | |
| [20:28] | Go back to bed. | 继续睡吧 |
| [20:29] | We got this. | 我们来处理 |
| [20:38] | And Lily and Marshall finally decided on a guardian. | 莉莉和马修最终决定了监护人人选 |
| [20:41] | – Are you sure about this, baby? – Yes. | -你确定吗 宝贝 -是的 |
| [20:43] | No matter what happens, I want Marvin to stay in the family. | 无论发生什么事 我希望马文与家人在一起 |
| [20:49] | 泰德・莫斯比 罗宾・特布罗斯基 巴尼・斯丁森 |