| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:16] | Hey, New York. | 你好啊 纽约 |
| [00:20] | If you’re like me, | 如果你像我一样 |
| [00:21] | your pet slowly destroys every | 你的宠物正逐步 缓慢地拆解 |
| [00:23] | single piece of furniture that you bring inside of your apartment. | 你带进公寓的每一件家具… |
| [00:28] | This is Baby, | 她叫宝宝… |
| [00:29] | and she is a vicious little rascal | 好一个邪恶的小坏蛋 |
| [00:32] | that aggressively claws | 有着一对好斗的小爪子 |
| [00:34] | and, um, | 还… |
| [00:35] | vomits on everything I own. | 在我所有东西上呕吐过 |
| [00:39] | This makes it hard to shop for anything nice. | 这让我很难置办些好东西 |
| [00:42] | Because it’s guaranteed that I | 因为可以肯定的是 |
| [00:45] | won’t be able to preserve my furniture | 我那些新家具的存活期限… |
| [00:47] | for longer than a couple of months. | 最多几个月吧 |
| [00:50] | There’s a bunch of things you could do to deter your cat | 是有好些方法能阻止你的猫 |
| [00:53] | from defiling your stuff, | 继续破坏你的东西 |
| [00:54] | but a lot of them have mixed results. | 但大多会带来… 复杂的结果 |
| [00:57] | You could try to coat your furniture in citrus, | 你可以尝试将柑橘类的水果涂到家具上 |
| [01:00] | which cats, uh, supposedly hate. | 据说猫很讨厌… 这种味道 |
| [01:03] | But if you also hate the smell of lemon | 但如果你也碰巧讨厌柠檬的味道… |
| [01:06] | this can be a cruel punishment for the both of you. | 这可能对你俩都是煎熬 |
| [01:10] | You can try putting tape over their favorite areas. | 你可以尝试在它最爱挠的区域贴上胶布 |
| [01:13] | But this may end up causing the animal to | 但这也可能导致毛小孩们… |
| [01:15] | relocate to new areas on your furniture | 转而破坏你家具上那些… |
| [01:18] | that aren’t covered in tape. | 没贴胶布的地方 |
| [01:22] | You can try getting a scratching pole | 你可以搞来个猫抓柱… |
| [01:25] | but they might not end up using it at all. | 但小家伙可能… 碰都不想碰 |
| [01:28] | But that’s okay, because you can always turn it into | 但也没关系 因为你可以随时把它当作… |
| [01:31] | a hat rack… | 帽架 |
| [01:34] | A hat rack. | 一个帽架 |
| [01:35] | So, if none of these options work, | 如果以上的方法都行不通 |
| [01:38] | and you find yourself just counting down the days | 你发现自己只是数着日子… |
| [01:41] | until one of you passes away, | 等着你俩其中一个先离世 |
| [01:43] | furniture covers might be your best bet. | 家具套可能是你最好的选择了 |
| [01:47] | So buckle up, buster, | 坐稳了 小混蛋 |
| [01:49] | because things are about to get | 这将会是一场 |
| [01:50] | pretty wet, | 湿湿… |
| [01:51] | pretty wild. | 史诗之旅 |
| [01:58] | Now, a lot of people think that | 在当代 很多人觉得 |
| [02:00] | plastic furniture covers are unsightly | 塑料的家具套丑爆了 |
| [02:02] | and will judge you for your choice. | 会因为你做了覆膜 嚼你舌根 |
| [02:05] | So, before you do anything you might regret, | 所以 在追悔莫及之前… |
| [02:07] | uh, first you’re gonna need to be confident | 你需要先对自己的品味 |
| [02:09] | in your sense of taste. | 有点信心 |
| [02:13] | Everyone likes to think that they have good taste, | 每个人都觉得自己有好品味 |
| [02:16] | but this is impossible, | 但 这怎么可能 |
| [02:18] | because you can’t have good taste without bad taste. | 因为”品味好”的存在 是需要”品味差”来反衬的 |
| [02:22] | What is beautiful to you | 你觉得美好的东西 |
| [02:23] | might be revolting to someone else. | 别人可能难以忍受 |
| [02:24] | 粗俗内衣(直译) 贴身内衣&袜类 | |
| [02:27] | And it’s almost impossible for good and bad taste to | 而且 “品味好”跟”品味差”是几乎不可能… |
| [02:30] | peacefully coexist. | 和谐共存的 |
| [02:33] | This is what makes people who use plastic covers, | 这样看起来 使用塑料家具套的人… |
| [02:35] | uh, such a rare breed. | 还真是珍稀物种呐 |
| [02:38] | They buy very dignified furniture, | 他们所买的一件品味极佳的家具 |
| [02:40] | worthy of a showroom or a museum, | 价位赶得上整间展厅 乃至整座博物馆了 |
| [02:43] | but in order to extend its life, | 但为了延续高级家具的寿命… |
| [02:45] | have decided to cover it with one of the most inelegant materials | 他们选择给家具做覆膜的材料却是… |
| [02:48] | known to man– humankind. | 最不入人… 众人之眼的 |
| [02:51] | But at the same time, | 但同时 |
| [02:52] | 双倍容量机型 双倍特大容量机型 三倍容量机型 巨型容量机型 超级巨型容量机型 | |
| [02:53] | any lifestyle depraved enough | 如果生活方式已经沦落到… |
| [02:55] | to require a permanent shield against liquids | 需要永久性的防护罩 来避免泼洒的话… |
| [02:58] | is worthy of respect. | 也挺值得尊重的 |
| [03:01] | This plastic covering has been on here | 这块塑料套已经包了 |
| [03:04] | for 40 straight years. Never been off, ever. | 40年了 从未被拆开过 |
| [03:06] | -Forty years? -Forty years. | -40年? -40年 |
| [03:09] | It does look like it’s in very good condition. | 看起来的确保护得非常好 |
| [03:11] | -This has plastic too. -This has plastic here. | -这块也包了塑料 -塑料包在这里 |
| [03:13] | But there’s nothing on top over here. | 但上面什么也没包 |
| [03:16] | You don’t feel anxious, | 不会感到紧张吗? |
| [03:18] | um, sitting on the couch without any covers? | 坐在没覆膜的沙发上 |
| [03:20] | I don’t, because she put the, uh, | 我不会 因为她在上面还套了… |
| [03:23] | the slipcover on. | 沙发套 |
| [03:25] | -Yeah, no. -It’s just that it’s… | -当然不会 -坐在上面整个就… |
| [03:26] | -pretty worn in. -Yeah, no. | -非常服帖 -当然不啦 |
| [03:28] | (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) | （外语） |
| [03:40] | Where’d you get this furniture? | 这套家具是从哪买来的? |
| [03:41] | We got it special made. It came from Italy. | 这是我们从意大利定制的 |
| [03:45] | The furniture is from Italy? | 这套来自意大利? |
| [03:46] | -Yeah. -Yeah. | -是啊 -是的 |
| [03:47] | That sounds expensive. | 听起来就非常贵 |
| [03:49] | There was a summer, I was eating– | 记得有个夏天 我就坐在这里… |
| [03:51] | I sat here eating a tub of | 我坐在这里吃一桶… |
| [03:53] | coffee ice cream, | 咖啡雪糕 |
| [03:55] | and I | 结果被我… |
| [03:55] | I spilled it on the furniture. | 被我弄洒在了家具上 |
| [04:00] | What about you? What have you spilled here? | 你呢? 你在这打翻过什么东西? |
| [04:02] | Oh I have never spilled anything. | 我可没打翻过东西 |
| [04:04] | -Oh, really? -Yeah. | -是真的吗? -是的 |
| [04:06] | I’m very careful. | 我超小心的呢 |
| [04:08] | The single most important thing | 最重要的只有一件事 |
| [04:10] | is the protection of the furniture. | 就是对家具的保护 |
| [04:12] | So we can have furniture that we can keep for | 这样我们的家具可能一直保存 |
| [04:14] | 40, 50 years! | 40 50年都不会坏 |
| [04:18] | I bet if we take one of these off, you know, these would be | 我打赌如果把其中一个套子拆开 肯定还… |
| [04:21] | brand new under there. | 里面还会是全新的 |
| [04:23] | Yeah, I don’t mind. They– they have zippers, like you can remove it. | 可以啊 我不介意 上面有拉链方便你拆开的 |
| [04:27] | Let’s see. | 都来看看哈 |
| [04:31] | -Mona, be careful. -Mm-hmm. | -莫娜 小心点 -嗯嗯 |
| [04:35] | Not even a speck of dust! | 一尘不染! |
| [04:37] | See! | 看吧! |
| [04:39] | The last time you sat on that was | 上一次你们这样直接坐在上面… |
| [04:41] | 20 years ago? | 有20年了吧? |
| [04:41] | -Wow, this is– -Me? Yeah, about 20 years ago. | -哇噢 这真的是… -我吗? 是的大概20年了 |
| [04:43] | -This is risky. -Sit, Lala. | -很有风险呐 -坐下 拉拉 |
| [04:45] | -Good girl! -Oh, wow. | -拉酱最乖啦! -哇 |
| [04:47] | Don’t get used to it. | 别太习惯哟 |
| [04:48] | Seems like you guys got it figured out. This is nice. | 看起来你们已经想明白了 这是件好事 |
| [04:51] | I feel– | 我觉得… |
| [04:51] | Oh, what is that? | 这是什么? |
| [04:52] | -I see a little chip. -Oh, no! | -我看到一小块缺口 -不是吧! |
| [04:54] | -Did that just happen? -Oh, no. | -这是刚刚撞到的吗? -糟了! |
| [04:57] | It seems like most people cover their furniture | 看起来 多数人把他们的家具包起来… |
| [04:59] | to make sure it stays in mint condition. | 为的是让家具保持崭新的状态 |
| [05:01] | So, if your stuff is already trashed, | 所以如果你的家当早已破烂不堪 |
| [05:04] | you’ll need to start by buying something that’s worth preserving. | 你需要先买真的值得维护的好家具 |
| [05:08] | Thankfully, New York has millions of seats | 幸好 纽约有着上百万张椅子… |
| [05:11] | to choose from. | 可供挑选 |
| [05:12] | This city is a brothel of exotic chairs, | 这座城市就是座饱藏”奇异”风情的椅子们的妓院 |
| [05:15] | and once you’re finally back in the market, | 一旦你回看市场 |
| [05:17] | uh, you’ll notice that each one is | 你就会发现每一个妖艳贱货 |
| [05:19] | desperately trying to seduce you. | 都在拼命地引诱你 |
| [05:28] | 出售 60元 40元 | |
| [05:51] | So once you find a piece of furniture that’s worthy of preserving, | 一旦你找到某件 值得好好维护的家具 |
| [05:54] | just do a very | 快速地检查一下 |
| [05:56] | quick bedbug check, uh, just in case, | 有没有臭虫 以防万一 |
| [05:58] | and go to the cashier and ring it up. | 走到收银处 结账就对了 |
| [06:02] | And then you’re gonna roll it straight to the plastic cover store. | 然后你要把它一路推到塑封店 |
| [06:11] | And hand it off to the guy who’s gonna make it for you. | 然后把它交给要为你处理的师傅 |
| [06:15] | This is a 16-gauge plastic. | 这是16号塑料 |
| [06:18] | Sixteen gauge, so how thick is that? -Yeah. | -16号 这是有多厚? -是啊 |
| [06:20] | That’s– That’s the thickness of… | 这 这个厚度… |
| [06:22] | of the plastic. | 就是塑料厚度 |
| [06:23] | How do you think this is gonna look with it? | 你觉得做完之后 看起来会怎么样? |
| [06:25] | This is gonna look dope. | 看起来会超酷的 |
| [06:27] | Cool. | 酷 |
| [06:29] | Do you cover your own furniture at home? | 你包自己家里的家具吗? |
| [06:31] | No. | 不包 |
| [06:43] | Every cover they make is one of a kind, | 他们制作的每一张膜都是独一无二的 |
| [06:45] | and the plastic should fit your chair like a glove. | 塑料会像合身的手套那样跟椅子严丝合缝 |
| [06:48] | Like a glove, bro! | 严丝合缝啊 兄弟! |
| [06:52] | So, after you roll it home, | 所以 在你推回家之后 |
| [06:53] | get a couple of | 找几个… |
| [06:55] | thin | 苗条… |
| [06:55] | but kind friends | 但热心的朋友… |
| [06:57] | to– to help you move it up the stairs. | 来帮你把椅子搬上楼 |
| [07:02] | But when you finally get it into your apartment, | 但当你终于把它整进你的公寓后 |
| [07:05] | it may look a little weird next to all your other stuff. | 与你的其他家当相伴 它可能会显得有些古怪 |
| [07:09] | And despite the fantasy you’ve always had, | 尽管你早就幻想… |
| [07:12] | the thrill of pouring salsa on it, | 把辣椒酱倒在沙发上 |
| [07:15] | wears off after a few weeks. | 但这样的快感 几周之后也就消退 |
| [07:19] | And even if your landlord thinks the covers are nice… | 甚至就连你的房东 也觉得这个包膜很赞 |
| [07:22] | This one’s covered in plastic. | 这张沙发用塑料覆膜了 |
| [07:24] | Nice. | 赞欸 |
| [07:26] | Your friends still may call you names for | 朋友们仍然可能忍不住… |
| [07:28] | 热词”工具人”似乎就源于”tool”的俚语用法 全然工具 租赁中心 | |
| [07:28] | having plastic covers when they come over to hang out. | 在你家做客的时候吐槽你做了塑料膜 |
| [07:32] | It also gets extremely hot when it’s warm out, | 当天气回暖之后 坐在上面也会变得特别热 |
| [07:36] | and I wouldn’t recommend sitting on it | 我也不建议在坐上去时 |
| [07:38] | while you’re in the buff. | 光着屁股 |
| [07:41] | And although your cat won’t want to go anywhere near this material, | 虽然你的猫再不想靠近这东西了 |
| [07:46] | neither will you. | 但是你也没了兴趣 |
| [07:50] | When we try to domesticate animals, | 我们在尝试驯养动物时 |
| [07:52] | we expect them to play by our rules, | 会期待它们能遵守人类的规则 |
| [07:55] | but it’s not always in their nature to play along. | 但动物依循天性 并不总那么配合 |
| [07:58] | And people even try to control animals | 而人类想控制动物的妄想 |
| [08:00] | outside of their house too. | 甚至延伸到了室外 |
| [08:04] | Almost everywhere you look in New York, | 在纽约 几乎每个可见的角落 |
| [08:06] | you can see stuff | 你都可以看到那些… |
| [08:07] | designed to prevent animals | 专门设计来防止动物 |
| [08:09] | from making their mark. | 留下痕迹的玩意儿 |
| [08:13] | These things are here to stop birds. | 这是用来赶鸟的 |
| [08:16] | These things are here to stop dogs. | 这是用来挡狗的 |
| [08:19] | These things are here to– | 这是用来 呃… |
| [08:21] | that– that’s for stopping rats, | 禁停… 老鼠的 |
| [08:23] | I think. | 我猜的 |
| [08:25] | But they still let the pigs go wherever they want. | 但猪却被放出来 想去哪去哪 |
| [08:32] | When I walk to work every morning, | 在我每天早晨去公司的路上 |
| [08:34] | there’s a tiny little staircase that | 有段穿越台阶的捷径… |
| [08:36] | gives me a half-second short cut on my way to the office. | 让我在去公司的路上 能少走半秒钟的路程 |
| [08:39] | I see a lot of other people naturally do it too, | 我看很多人也很自然地这样走 |
| [08:43] | but for some reason, the building management decided | 但出于某种原因 大楼管理层认为… |
| [08:45] | that this was a huge nuisance, | 这样放任 实在吃了大亏 |
| [08:47] | and put up a fancy red rope | 然后绑上了一条花哨的红绳子 |
| [08:49] | to stop people from walking down a single step in front of their lobby. | 来阻止人们经过这座大厅前的阶梯 |
| [08:54] | Now, everyone needs to make a full right-angle turn | 现在 每个人都需要转过一个完整的直角弯… |
| [08:58] | when they walk past the building, | 才能绕过这栋大楼 |
| [09:01] | potentially taking away years of your precious life. | 不知不觉耗费了你生命中多少年的珍贵光阴 |
| [09:05] | I assume it’s because of some kind of liability, | 我假定大楼管理层这样做是出于某种义务 |
| [09:08] | but to me it seemed more about the raw power that | 但在我看来 这更像在原始控制欲的驱使下… |
| [09:11] | comes with controlling ten feet of a private corner | 滥用对一个不过10英尺长的私人转角… |
| [09:14] | in a high-end neighborhood. | 在一处高端小区中的把控权 |
| [09:17] | And the more I looked around, | 我越是细看周围… |
| [09:19] | the more I noticed all the other ways that | 越会发现更多… |
| [09:21] | the city treats everyone like animals. | 这座城市把所有人都当作动物对待的证据 |
| [09:26] | They put sharp stuff on the tops of these | 他们给这些玩意装上了尖锐物… |
| [09:28] | so that nobody sits on them. | 这样就没人能坐在上面 |
| [09:31] | They put these little metal things on ledges, | 他们在长凳边缘布置这种小金属片… |
| [09:33] | uh, so that skateboarders can’t grind. | 这样滑板族就不能上来磨轮子了 |
| [09:37] | And they recently started making the dividers on the subway benches | 他们最近开始把地铁里板凳上的隔板 |
| [09:40] | even taller, | 改得更高 |
| [09:42] | so that it’s even harder to lay down on them. | 让横躺 难上加难 |
| [09:46] | Some people | 还有人… |
| [09:47] | even designed very crude, | 甚至设计了这些非常残酷的… |
| [09:49] | uh, homemade solutions to the human problem. | 手工玩意儿 来对付其他人 |
| [09:54] | This all seems to be a way to discourage undesirables | 这些看似都是为了阻挠那些不速之客 |
| [09:57] | from using our beloved public space. | 占用大家钟爱的公共空间 |
| [10:00] | And when you look at all of it together, | 而且当你全盘看下来 |
| [10:02] | it’s almost like the | 似乎是… |
| [10:04] | city is trying to tell you something. | 这座城市跟你有话要说 |
| [10:06] | But like any species, | 但就像其他物种一样 |
| [10:08] | we always just find new areas to conquer, | 我们总是会找到新的地方去征服 |
| [10:13] | climbing to dangerous elevations | 爬上危险的高度… |
| [10:16] | in search of | 好找到… |
| [10:18] | refuge. | 栖身之所 |
| [10:23] | Humans will go through a lot of trouble | 人类总是大费周章… |
| [10:25] | just to make themselves feel like they’re in control of | 只是为了让自己觉得 还掌控得住 |
| [10:27] | their environment. | 身处的环境 |
| [10:30] | When I was a teenager, my secret treasure was | 在我十几岁的时候 我的秘密收藏… |
| [10:33] | the full set of action figures from | 是一整套 |
| [10:35] | the hit motion picture The Matrix, | 卖座电影《黑客帝国》的动作人偶 |
| [10:38] | mint in the box. | 全新未曾拆封 |
| [10:40] | It gave me | 一度成为… |
| [10:41] | the emotional armor I needed, | 我所需要的情感寄托 |
| [10:44] | even though nobody, uh, really cared that I had them. | 尽管从没人 真的在乎我拥有这些东西 |
| [10:48] | 推荐成人 玩家收藏 | |
| [10:48] | At the time,I was too old to play with them, | 当时的我 已经过了玩玩具的年纪 |
| [10:51] | but too young to cash out. | 但也还没到 能把收藏卖给其他人的年纪 |
| [10:54] | And now they’re somehow worth less | 如今它们也不值钱了… |
| [10:56] | than what I originally paid for them. | 远低于当初我买的价格 |
| [11:01] | I can’t remember why this ever made me happy, | 我记不清 这在当时为什么会让我开心 |
| [11:03] | but I knew that I wasn’t the only one who | 但我知道 绝不只有我一个人… |
| [11:06] | engaged in behavior like this. | 会有这样的行为 |
| [11:12] | Anyway, so I heard that you had a pair of | 对了 我听说你有一双… |
| [11:14] | shoes that you take really good care of. | 用心呵护的鞋 |
| [11:16] | So, these are my red bottoms. | 看 这是我的红底鞋 |
| [11:19] | Signed by Christian Louboutin. | 有克里斯蒂安·鲁布托的签名 |
| [11:21] | Wait, do you– so you keep them right here, all the time? | 等等 所以你就一直这样放着它们? |
| [11:27] | Do you ever take them out? | 有把他们拿出来过吗? |
| [11:28] | They– These I won’t wear ever. | 这双鞋… 我永远不会真的穿 |
| [11:31] | You won’t wear these ever? You’ve never worn these? | 你永远不会真的穿? 你一次也没穿过吗? |
| [11:33] | -No. No. -No. | -是的 从没 -从没有 |
| [11:35] | Why do you think people want to keep things in perfect condition? | 你觉得 为什么会有人想维持东西完美的状态? |
| [11:39] | Who wants something beat up and– | 那有谁会想要又破… |
| [11:41] | and– and destroyed? | 又… 又烂的东西呢? |
| [11:44] | Then it’s– it’s meaningless. | 那样就 毫无意义了 |
| [11:46] | You know, the opportunity or– or the ability to kinda keep it intact and– | 你知道的 让人有机会也有能力维持物品完好无损… |
| [11:50] | and in its original shape | 以它最初的样子… |
| [11:53] | to then pass it on over to generation or… | 传承给下一代 |
| [11:56] | Yeah, or to have it as a showcase, | 是呀 或是把它放进展示柜 |
| [11:58] | something to talk about when we have people over. | 让客人来时 能秀给他们看 |
| [12:01] | And people could see it… | 让人们能看到… |
| [12:06] | …and love it, appreciate it. | 并且爱上它 珍视它 |
| [12:09] | Sometimes material things are so precious to people | 有的时候 物质面的东西对人实在太重要了 |
| [12:13] | that they go so far as to | 导致人们过分醉心于 |
| [12:14] | make duplications of their possessions. | 复制已有的东西 |
| [12:18] | I heard that there are even art collectors | 我听说有些艺术收藏家 |
| [12:20] | who do this with their paintings | 也这样处理它们的藏品 |
| [12:22] | to avoid having to hang the original on their walls. | 好避免真品被挂出来展示 |
| [12:25] | Many clients will | 许多顾客会想制作 |
| [12:27] | do what’s called | 我们称作… |
| [12:28] | a commissioned reproduction. | 委托复制品 |
| [12:31] | Basically making a– a copy of it, | 基本上就是 复制一件艺术品 |
| [12:33] | and then they may put the copy up on their walls, | 让顾客可以把复制品展示在外 |
| [12:36] | and put the actual work in a storage facility where it can remain safe. | 然后把真品放在能妥善保存的安全设施中 |
| [12:43] | If you have a, you know, | 假如你有… |
| [12:46] | a 30-million-dollar Van Gogh painting, | 一件价值三千万美金的梵高画作 |
| [12:48] | then the stress of having that painting on the wall may | 一想到 把真品展示在外可能带来的巨大压力… |
| [12:52] | really not be worth it. | 你可能就不会放出来了 |
| [12:53] | And if you can lock it away until it’s time to sell it, | 而假如你能在转手卖出去之前 把它妥善安放在某处 |
| [12:56] | and you can still have that… | 同时你也能把那件… |
| [12:59] | piece in your house | 复制品挂在你的家里 |
| [13:00] | and look at it and enjoy it | 还能天天欣赏它 |
| [13:01] | and have your friends look at it, | 或展示给朋友们看 |
| [13:02] | then, you know, you’re– you’re benefiting from it. | 这样做也是有好处的 |
| [13:06] | Do you have any animals? | 你有养宠物吗? |
| [13:08] | -No. -Why not? | -没有 -为啥不养呢? |
| [13:13] | Because I don’t like having to go home in time | 因为我不想被迫按时回家 |
| [13:15] | for dinner to feed them. | 给它们准备晚饭 |
| [13:18] | I did like horses when I was little. | 我小时候曾经很喜欢马 |
| [13:21] | I rode them until I got allergic. | 骑马骑到 犯过敏 |
| [13:26] | Maybe being too precious about an object can | 或许太珍视某件东西 其实 |
| [13:29] | actually just make you enjoy it less | 会让你没那么开心 |
| [13:32] | and create a low, simmering anxiety that | 那种低沉的 小火慢炖出来的焦虑感… |
| [13:34] | you can never escape. | 你怎么都无法摆脱 |
| [13:38] | I was out driving with a friend the other day, | 那天我和一个朋友开车出门 |
| [13:40] | and he was trying to find a– a touch-free car wash. | 他坚持要找到一家”非接触式”的洗车场 |
| [13:44] | He’s real– He r– He cares a lot about the condition of his car, | 他非常 非常在乎爱车的状况 |
| [13:47] | and he absolutely refused to go to a normal car wash with brushes. | 他当然拒绝选择使用毛刷的一般洗车场 |
| [13:53] | After finding a place on Atlantic Avenue | 在大西洋大道上终于找到一家 |
| [13:55] | that looked like it had a touch-free cleaning, | 看起来有”非接触式”的洗车服务 |
| [13:59] | he got in line and waited his turn. | 他就把车开进来 排队等待 |
| [14:02] | Only when he reached the end of the line | 但直到他的车排到队伍最前面时 |
| [14:04] | did he realize that it was actually a | 他才发现 这家提供的其实是… |
| [14:06] | touch-full car wash. | “全接触式”的洗车服务 |
| [14:08] | And they– And a lot of stuff touches your car in it. | 会有各种玩意儿 在你的车上摩擦 |
| [14:11] | And when he demanded to be let out, | 之后当他要求离开时 |
| [14:13] | they told him that the only way to exit was | 他们说想要出去… |
| [14:15] | through the brushes. | 就必须过一遍刷子 |
| [14:17] | I thought– It says touch-free on the end though. | 我以为它最下面写的是”无接触式” |
| [14:19] | He completely lost it. | 他整个崩溃 |
| [14:21] | Fucking ruining my fucking car. | 我的车他妈的就这样毁了 |
| [14:29] | Immediately after, he bought gallons of | 紧接着 他买了几加仑… |
| [14:32] | bottled water to wash off the car himself. | 好几桶水又自己动手把车全洗了 |
| [14:36] | He was inconsolable, | 沮丧透顶 |
| [14:37] | and we drove the rest of the way home | 在之后回家的路上我们… |
| [14:40] | in complete silence. | 一言不发 |
| [14:48] | I was really starting to | 我确实开始… |
| [14:50] | question if protecting my chair was | 思考 这样保护椅子的方式 |
| [14:52] | healthy behavior. | 是不是真的健康 |
| [14:59] | But | 然而… |
| [14:59] | I knew that Baby would just start destroying my chair the moment I took it off. | 我知道我一给椅子摘下覆膜 宝宝就会跑来拆家 |
| [15:04] | The last resort for most people | 大多数人最后的选择 |
| [15:07] | is to completely declaw your cat. | 是给自己的猫完全摘除爪骨 |
| [15:10] | This is a deeply traumatizing procedure | 这个手术会留下深层的创伤 |
| [15:13] | that permanently disfigures your animal | 对你的宠物是永久性的伤害 |
| [15:15] | and radically transforms their personality. | 并且会从根本上改变它们的性情 |
| [15:19] | They actually recently made it illegal | 事实上 纽约最近立法禁止了… |
| [15:19] | 纽约时报 纽约州立法禁止猫执行除爪手术 本周一 反除爪手术的法案在安德鲁·科莫州长的签署下生效。 纽约成为全国第一个立法禁止此项行为的州(2019/7/22) | |
| [15:21] | to declaw your cat in New York… | 为你的猫咪做除爪手术 |
| [15:24] | 感谢您阅读纽约时报 注册免费账户并登录 之后方可继续阅读 | |
| [15:24] | I think. | 我猜是吧 |
| [15:26] | I could never do that to my cat, | 我绝不可能那样对待我的猫猫的 |
| [15:28] | because not only is it inhumane, | 不仅因为这样很不人道 |
| [15:31] | but she’s extremely good at | 还因为她超擅长 |
| [15:32] | catching the mice that hide behind my collection of tapes in my apartment. | 抓那些躲在我公寓里录像带柜子后面的老鼠 |
| [15:42] | We’re an unstoppable team, | 我们是所向无敌的组合 |
| [15:44] | and I could never alter her evolutionary gifts | 我绝不会靠擅改她历经演化天生就带有的能力 |
| [15:47] | for my convenience. | 来满足自己之便 |
| [15:52] | I wanted to see if | 我想去看看… |
| [15:53] | there was anything in the pet store that I hadn’t thought of. | 宠物店里有没有什么我还没想到的东西 |
| [15:56] | But as I walked to the Petco in Union Square, | 但在我走去联合广场的沛可宠物店路上 |
| [15:59] | I saw a mobile billboard | 我看到一个移动看板 |
| [16:02] | that seemed to be spreading an anti-circumcision message. | 看上去是在倡导 抵制包皮环割手术 |
| [16:05] | And they even had a disturbing replica of a baby as a prop. | 甚至还拿一个婴儿公仔再现了令人不安的手术现场 |
| [16:09] | This clamp, what it does is it | 这个夹钳的作用是 |
| [16:11] | entraps the foreskin in between two pieces of metal, | 用两块金属板来夹住包皮 |
| [16:15] | and when the doctor applies the screw and the thumbwheel, | 当医生按下螺丝和指轮时 |
| [16:18] | it exerts over two tons of force on the foreskin, | 包皮上被施加了超过2吨的压力 |
| [16:21] | because the purpose of that is to crush it, | 目的就是为了碾爆它 |
| [16:24] | and they want the blood to coagulate under the skin. | 以期血液在皮肤下面结痂 |
| [16:27] | When this happens to a baby, | 当婴儿被执行这样的手术时 |
| [16:28] | they’re screaming the whole time. | 他们全程都在尖叫 |
| [16:30] | They’re screaming for their life. | 他们是在为生命呐喊 |
| [16:32] | I had never meta more passionate advocate | 我还从未见过如此激情地倡导 |
| [16:32] | 包皮 为了胜利 | |
| [16:34] | for keeping covers on. | 要留住”包在外面的皮”的人 |
| [16:36] | He was so sure that | 他十分确定 |
| [16:38] | we needed this kind of protection. | 我们需要这种保护 |
| [16:40] | What I like to talk about is | 我想谈的 |
| [16:41] | what are the benefits of foreskin. | 是留住包皮带来的好处 |
| [16:43] | And that is, you know, | 你知道… |
| [16:43] | foreskin offers what we call the four powers. | 包皮为我们保有了这四个能力… |
| [16:46] | Pleasure, protection, lubrication and connection. | 欢愉 保护 润滑 以及连结 |
| [16:49] | You know, there’s an old motto, | 你知道的 有句古老的箴言说道 |
| [16:51] | “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” | “没坏的东西 别去修理” |
| [16:53] | And nature put foreskin on our bodies for a reason. | 大自然为我们的身体创造包皮 一定是有原因的 |
| [16:56] | And women have foreskin too. | 女人也有包皮的 |
| [16:58] | Uh… | |
| [17:01] | Maybe some coverings are nature’s gift, | 或许有些外皮是大自然的恩赐 |
| [17:04] | and it’s a mistake to remove them. | 去掉它们 是个错误 |
| [17:08] | But there’s a lot of stuff we do to our children before | 但我们为子女做出很多决定时… |
| [17:11] | they have the ability to consent. | 他们都还没有准许的能力 |
| [17:13] | And it’s hard to say | 而且很难说… |
| [17:14] | whether or not they’ll resent you for it when they grow up. | 等他们长大以后 会不会因为这些事记恨你 |
| [17:20] | We teach them to worship certain things. | 我们要孩子从小就崇拜特定的事物 |
| [17:24] | We pierce their ears so they look glamorous. | 我们为孩子打耳洞 戴耳饰 好让他们光彩照人 |
| [17:27] | 提特曼路 直译为奶头男 矮子 或者猪崽 | |
| [17:27] | We give them names that | 我们为孩子取的名字 |
| [17:29] | they have to live with for the rest of their lives. | 他们要用一辈子 |
| [17:32] | And for the first time, | 而且 这是第一次 |
| [17:34] | it struck me that my life might have been different if | 我猛然意识到 我的人生会不会… |
| [17:37] | I hadn’t been circumcised. | 因为包皮还在而有所不同 |
| [17:40] | Was I missing out on a | 我是否错过了一个… |
| [17:41] | world of pleasure I didn’t even know about? | 不曾识得的 更加欢愉的世界? |
| [17:44] | 袋装香蕉 内在的美妙 | |
| [17:45] | Maybe if my genitals were intact, | 或许 如果我的生殖器完好如初 |
| [17:48] | I would have had to | 我可能会… |
| [17:48] | shower more often growing up, | 在成长的过程中 更勤洗澡 |
| [17:51] | and that would have got me invited to more parties. | 那样我就会受邀去更多的派对 |
| [17:55] | And with all that extra confidence, | 带着这些额外的自信 |
| [17:57] | I could have been a– | 我可能已经成为… |
| [17:57] | a doctor by now. | 成为一名医生了 |
| [18:00] | Or an Olympic athlete. | 或是一位奥运选手 |
| [18:02] | Or a judge. | 或是一位法官 |
| [18:06] | But maybe there was still hope. | 不过希望可能还是有的 |
| [18:09] | The anti-circumcision guy had told me about his friend, | 那位包皮捍卫者 介绍了一个朋友给我 |
| [18:10] | TLC-X | 终极的控制力 带来卓越的疗效 |
| [18:11] | TLC 申引器 简约优雅 修复皮肤松弛 | |
| [18:12] | that made a product designed to restore your foreskin. | 他发明了一项产品 专门用来复原包皮 |
| [18:16] | So I decided to pay the guy a visit | 于是我决定上门拜访 |
| [18:18] | and see what it was all about. | 看看到底怎么回事儿 |
| [18:19] | ??? | 包皮环割 天知道 你错失了什么 |
| [18:20] | So, this is our home. | 这是我们家 |
| [18:21] | My family lives here, I raised my daughters here. | 我们全家都住在这里 我的女儿在这里长大 |
| [18:24] | And in the basement of this home | 这座房子的地下室 |
| [18:26] | is the TLC Tugger production facility. | 是TLC申引器的生产间 |
| [18:31] | What a space. | 空间还挺大 |
| [18:34] | Not only did he make every foreskin restoration device by hand, | 他不仅手工制作 所有包皮复原装置 |
| [18:38] | but he was also a musician | 而且他还是个音乐家 |
| [18:40] | and wrote an entire album about circumcision. | 写了一整张关于包皮环割的专辑 |
| [18:46] | ♪You talked Bill Gates out if a few♪ | ♪ 你曾劝比尔·盖茨捐点 ♪ |
| [18:48] | ♪hard-earned simoleons,♪ | ♪ 他来之不易的零头钱 ♪ |
| [18:50] | ♪to do a so-called study where you cut some Africans.♪ | ♪ 在非洲人身上随便做实验 就说是所谓的研究 ♪ |
| [18:53] | ♪But it’s still clear that♪ | ♪ 不用怀疑 ♪ |
| [18:54] | ♪condoms are the best form of prevention.♪ | ♪ 戴套依然最安全 ♪ |
| [18:56] | ♪Now that you’ve failed, who will heal those angry man?♪ | ♪ 如今你们失败了 又让谁来安抚生气的男人? ♪ |
| [19:00] | ♪I’m gonna tug and grow my foreskin back again.♪ | ♪ 只要拉一拉 我的包皮就会长回来 ♪ |
| [19:03] | ♪I’m gonna tug and grow my foreskin back again.♪ | ♪ 只要拉一拉 我的包皮就会长回来 ♪ |
| [19:07] | So, I’m presently wearing | 我现在戴着的… |
| [19:09] | a retaining cone. | 这是固定锥 |
| [19:12] | Oh, okay. | 好的 |
| [19:13] | But that’s not an active source of tension. | 但这样没有提供足够的拉力 |
| [19:15] | That’s not gonna grow you | 这样是不会让你恢复到… |
| [19:17] | enough skin so that you look like an intact guy. | 完好如初的样子 |
| [19:19] | So what’s the tension– How– how do you create the tension? | 那拉力从哪来 怎样能有拉力 |
| [19:21] | So, to create tension, you need to tug, | 那么 为了创造拉力 你需要申引 |
| [19:23] | and for that you need a tugging device like this one. | 为此你需要一个像这样的申引器 |
| [19:25] | -Okay. -This is the TLC Tugger. | -好的 -这是TLC申引器 |
| [19:27] | I place it against the head of my penis, | 我把它安装在阴茎的顶部 |
| [19:30] | force my skin | 用力把我的皮肤… |
| [19:31] | up onto the conical surface. | 拉到圆锥的表面上 |
| [19:34] | So this will clip to my device, | 再加上这个装置 |
| [19:36] | and then the weight will dangle in my pants. | 重物就会在裤子里晃来晃去 |
| [19:39] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [19:40] | So there, I’ve clipped that same string to my device. | 像这样 我把整串挂到我这个装置上 |
| [19:45] | I’m gonna put my pants on, | 等我把裤子穿上 |
| [19:48] | and the weight is hanging down where | 重物 便垂到了这里 |
| [19:50] | gravity can still act upon it | 重力仍能起到作用 |
| [19:52] | instead of resting in the thigh area of my pants. | 而不只是躺在我的裤腿里 |
| [19:55] | So this weight is gonna keep working on me, | 这样重物可以一直拽着我 |
| [19:58] | all day because | 全天候起作用 |
| [19:59] | it’s hanging freely because of that string. | 因为有绳子串着 能保持下垂状态 |
| [20:08] | Anybody else in the house need a grapefruit-flavored seltzer? | 有人想要喝葡萄柚味的汽水吗? |
| [20:21] | Coming right up. | 马上就好 |
| [20:29] | -Cheers. -Oh, thank you. | -干杯 -谢谢 |
| [20:31] | So, with the pulley I can move any old way | 有了滑轮 在我睡着的时候… |
| [20:37] | while I’m sleeping, doing things involuntarily, | 还是可以像平常一样做出翻身等等不自觉的动作 |
| [20:40] | and the tension stays the same, | 拉力始终不变 |
| [20:42] | whereas with a shoulder strap, if you curl up, | 而如果用的是肩带 那你蜷曲身子的时候… |
| [20:46] | this– the tension– the slack– the strap goes completely slack. | 拉力… 肩带的拉力就完全松掉了 |
| [20:50] | Does this ever bother your wife, | 这些不会打扰到你妻子吗? |
| [20:52] | this– this cord in bed? | 这… 这条床上的绳子? |
| [20:55] | Every once in a while I will | 每过一段时间 我的… |
| [20:58] | do something with my pulley and lose the grip on it… | 拉绳就会被碰掉 拉力一下泄掉 |
| [21:01] | …and make a loud noise when she’s asleep. | 在她睡着的时候吵到她 |
| [21:03] | And she doesn’t like that. | 她很烦这种状况 |
| [21:06] | See anything good lately? | 最近看了什么好片子吗? |
| [21:08] | Uh, lately I just saw that, uh… | 我才刚看了那部… |
| [21:14] | Oh my gosh, I’m so old. | 我的天 我真的老了 |
| [21:16] | Words escape me. | 刚想到又忘了 |
| [21:17] | It’s called… | 就是那部… |
| [21:18] | Parasite! | 《寄生虫》! |
| [21:19] | -Oh, yeah,I liked Parasite. -Oh, Parasite rocked. | -噢对 我也喜欢《寄生虫》 -《寄生虫》实在太震撼了 |
| [21:22] | Yeah that was a really– a really great, uh– | 是啊 那真的是一部… 一部非常棒… |
| [21:25] | It was the perfect movie because it was a morality tale, | 它就是一部完美的电影 有关乎道德的主题 |
| [21:28] | it had virtue, it had vice, | 表现了善与恶 |
| [21:30] | it had, uh– | 它还有… |
| [21:32] | oh, just don’t get me started. | 算了 别让我说个不停 |
| [21:39] | I was reading recently that | 我最近读到… |
| [21:41] | they’re planning on putting up a wall around Manhattan | 政府打算用一堵墙把曼哈顿围在中间… |
| [21:44] | to combat the rising sea levels. | 来应对海平面的上升 |
| [21:47] | I guess it’s tempting to just put a cover on something | 我寻思 那种想把东西盖住的企图 |
| [21:51] | when you don’t know what else to do. | 在人不知所措时 很有诱惑力吧 |
| [21:53] | But maybe we just | 但或许我们只是… |
| [21:54] | do it to avoid having to face the real problem. | 为了逃避面对真正的问题才这么做的 |
| [21:58] | And it only | 这只能给予… |
| [21:59] | gives us the illusion of control | 我们还掌控一切的幻觉 |
| [22:02] | as the rest of our world slowly falls apart. | 没发觉世界其实正缓慢地分崩离析 |
| [22:09] | My friends hired an interior designer recently, | 我的朋友最近雇了一位室内设计师 |
| [22:11] | uh, to help them with their furniture problems, | 帮他们解决家具摆放的问题 |
| [22:14] | and they let me hang out. | 他们让我 一起去看看 |
| [22:16] | You– We do, like,very small chair, | 比如 一把小巧的椅子 |
| [22:18] | or you could even do, like, a cool, like, stool, | 或是比如说 一把冷色的板凳 |
| [22:20] | -or… you know. -Stool, yeah. | -或是… -板凳 嗯嗯 |
| [22:22] | And when I told her about my plastic cover dilemma, | 然后当我把关于塑料膜的困境告诉她时 |
| [22:24] | she saw the problem a little differently. | 她提供了一个有些不同的视角 |
| [22:27] | I– Again, I keep on– | 我 一直… |
| [22:28] | It’s almost a visual thing, like– | 几乎是视觉层面上 像是… |
| [22:29] | But I think it’s energy. Like, | 但我想这是某种能量 |
| [22:31] | even when I’m looking at you right now, | 比如说 就当我现在正看着你 |
| [22:33] | I’m seeing a camera, and I’m seeing you. | 我看到一台相机 我还看到你 |
| [22:35] | It’s really interesting. There’s almost like a | 这真的很有趣 就感觉像… |
| [22:37] | film even between the two. | 你和相机之间还隔了一层胶片 |
| [22:39] | You’re always used to having some kind of protective mechanism, | 你总是习惯维持某种保护机制 |
| [22:43] | and I think in some ways, the camera, it’s done both. | 我觉得某种程度上 相机对双方都起到了这个功能 |
| [22:45] | It’s the paradox. I think it’s connected you | 这是相互矛盾的 我觉得相机与你的连结… |
| [22:47] | more than ever with people, but yet there’s always, like, | 和任何其他人都深 但就算如此… |
| [22:50] | a bit of a separation and | 有一点抽离… |
| [22:51] | a bit of you that’s,like, apart from it. | 你有一点置身其外 |
| [22:53] | It sounds maybe kooky, but I would love for you | 听起来可能很怪异 但我希望你… |
| [22:56] | sometimes in your life to, like, in your head, be like, | 平时偶尔 在脑中想… |
| [22:58] | “I should put the camera down right now in this situation. | “这个情况下 我该放下相机 |
| [23:01] | I should just be John.” | 单纯做约翰就好” |
| [23:09] | I finally felt confident heading into the future, | 我终于有信心 向未来迈进 |
| [23:12] | with or without a cover. | 管他有没有保护套 |
| [23:15] | Nature gives things character, | 自然赋予万物不同特点 |
| [23:17] | and anything that happens to our stuff along the way | 在生活的过程中 家当所发生的一切折损 |
| [23:20] | is evidence of a well-lived life. | 都是充实的生活留下的痕迹 |
| [23:23] | And for the first time, I wasn’t worried at all | 这是第一次 我完全不担心… |
| [23:26] | about my furniture getting destroyed. | 家具遭到破坏 |
| [23:28] | Because I hired a fabricator | 因为我雇佣了一位工匠 |
| [23:30] | to make a commissioned, uh, reproduction of my chair | 帮我定制了一个… 椅子的“委托复制品” |
| [23:33] | that is an identical copy of the original piece. | 一把 完全一致的复制椅 |
| [23:37] | So now, while my cat slowly annihilates | 现在 当我的猫一点点摧残 |
| [23:41] | the replica chair that sits in my apartment, | 我公寓里的那个仿品椅子时 |
| [23:44] | I can finally rest easy, | 我终于可以安心了 |
| [23:46] | knowing that the original chair | 因为我钟爱的原品 |
| [23:47] | that I love is safe and secure | 正被安全地存放在… |
| [23:50] | in a temperature-controlled storage facility in Canarsie. | 卡纳西一个恒温的仓库里 |
| [23:55] | And even though I may never sit in it ever again, | 就算我可能再也不会坐这把椅子 |
| [23:59] | at least I know that I could. | 至少我知道 我想坐随时都可以 |
| [24:07] | This is John Wilson. | 我是约翰·威尔逊 |
| [24:08] | Thanks for watching. | 感谢收看 |
| [24:13] | —————————— | 导演 约翰·威尔逊 |
| [24:13] | —————————— | 欢迎关注 英美剧漫游指南 播客 微信 微博等 |
| [24:15] | —————————— | 剧本 约翰·威尔逊 迈克尔·科曼 爱丽丝·格里高利 |
| [24:15] | —————————— KAi | 翻译 |
| [24:17] | ♪I wish my parents had defied conformity,♪ | ♪ 多希望爸妈当初 懂得起来反抗 ♪ |
| [24:18] | —————————— | 执行制片人 内森·费尔德 |
| [24:20] | —————————— | 执行制片人 约翰·威尔逊 |
| [24:20] | —————————— | 特效 季叽馥疾己 |
| [24:20] | ♪Preserved my pleasure part so I could feel it glide.♪ | ♪ 让留有欢愉的我 能感觉到它滑动 ♪ |
| [24:22] | —————————— | 执行制片人 迈克尔·科曼 |
| [24:24] | ♪That amputation won’t prevent an STD,♪ | ♪ 自残阻止不了性病 ♪ |
| [24:24] | —————————— | 执行制片人 克拉克·莱恩金 |
| [24:26] | ♪and infants aren’t at risk.♪ | ♪ 婴儿明明好得很 ♪ |
| [24:26] | —————————— | 制片人 布兰登·麦克修 |
| [24:28] | ♪Why steal his right to decide?♪ | ♪ 为什么要偷走他自己选择的权利? ♪ |
| [24:29] | —————————— | 剪辑 亚当·洛克-诺顿 |
| [24:30] | ♪I don’t want much,♪ | ♪ 我要的不多 ♪ |
| [24:31] | —————————— | 音乐总监 梅根·科瑞尔 |
| [24:31] | ♪just want my foreskin back again.♪ | ♪ 只是想要包皮再回来 ♪ |
| [24:33] | —————————— | 联合制片 亚当·洛克-诺顿 |
| [24:34] | ♪No, it’s not TMI.♪ | ♪ 不 我并没有说太多 ♪ |
| [24:35] | ♪I shared it ’cause we’re friends.♪ | ♪只与你分享 因为我们是朋友 ♪ |
| [24:37] | ♪My parents chose this road, but I’ll choose where it ends.♪ | ♪ 爸妈选了起点 但我将决定终点 ♪ |
| [24:40] | ♪Don’t I deserve it all?♪ | ♪ 难道我不应得吗? ♪ |
| [24:43] | ♪Gonna grow it back again,♪ | ♪ 定会长回来 ♪ |
| [24:47] | ♪grow it back again.♪ | ♪ 长回来 ♪ |
| [24:53] | ♪I’m gonna fix me.♪ | ♪ 我会修好我自己 ♪ |
| [24:59] | ♪It’s gonna take some time, but I can grow an inch a year.♪ | ♪ 慢慢来急不得 明年今日长一寸 ♪ |
| [25:20] | When you work up the courage to look at the bill, | 当你总算鼓起勇气看账单 |
| [25:23] | you find yourself wondering | 你疑惑地发现… |
| [25:24] | how it’s costing you 30 bucks | 割走你30块钱的 |
| [25:26] | for a pierogi and a seltzer. | 竟然是一份波兰饺子和苏打水 |