| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:07] | All right, all right. | 行了 别按了 |
| [00:09] | Hey, Dad, there’s this new thing people are doing these days. | 爸 现在比较流行一种行为 |
| [00:12] | It’s called knocking. | 叫作敲门 |
| [00:13] | I’m old, you come to me. | 我年纪大了 应该你来找我 |
| [00:17] | Listen, I’m on my way to buy a new car. | 是这样 我打算去买辆车 |
| [00:19] | I’m gonna use the Burns system. | 准备启用伯恩斯套路 |
| [00:20] | The Burns car buying system is a legend. | 伯恩斯买车套路可是传说啊 |
| [00:23] | – Yeah. – Your dad handed it down to you, | -是啊 -你爸传给了你 |
| [00:25] | and then you handed it down to, well, my brother. | 而你又传给了 我哥 |
| [00:29] | Well, this time I want you in the showroom with me. | 这次我希望你跟我去店里 |
| [00:31] | Wh… You and me? | 什么 咱们俩吗 |
| [00:33] | You always do it with Don. | 你每次总是叫大唐 |
| [00:34] | Oh, not today. | 今天不一样 |
| [00:36] | Oh, is Don sick? | 大唐生病了吗 |
| [00:38] | Are you coming or not? | 你到底来不来 |
| [00:39] | Let me just go tell Andi we’re heading out. | 我去跟安迪说一声 |
| [00:44] | All right, I’m hurrying. | 行了 我加快速度 |
| [00:46] | Adam, look what Emme just brought down | 亚当 你看艾米刚才从房间里 |
| [00:48] | from her room. I-It’s a snake! | 拿了什么下来 是一条蛇 |
| [00:49] | What? Emme, | 什么 艾米 |
| [00:51] | we don’t allow weird pets in the house | 自从我上次不小心喝了泰迪的海猿 |
| [00:53] | ever since I accidentally drank Teddy’s sea monkeys. | 家里就不允许养奇怪的宠物了 |
| [00:55] | Put him back in there. | 赶紧放回去 |
| [00:56] | – But he’s cute. – No, no, no, honey. | -但是它很可爱 -不 亲爱的 |
| [00:58] | You’re cute, | 你才可爱 |
| [00:59] | ’cause you have cute little ears, | 因为你有可爱的小耳朵 |
| [01:01] | and your cute little hands and your cute little feet. | 还有你可爱的小手和小脚丫 |
| [01:03] | Snake’s got none of that. | 蛇没有这些东西 |
| [01:05] | Yeah. Yeah, he’s just a legless killing machine. | 对 它就是个没腿的杀戮机器 |
| [01:08] | They go for the eyeballs first, you know. | 它们会先咬眼珠 你知道吗 |
| [01:10] | Honey, you have to get rid of it. | 亲爱的 你得把它弄走 |
| [01:12] | I can’t. Dad’s outside, he just invited me | 不行 爸在外面 他刚才邀请我 |
| [01:14] | to do the Burns system with him. | 跟他一起用伯恩斯套路 |
| [01:16] | Oh, is Don sick? | 怎么 大唐生病了吗 |
| [01:19] | No, no, he wants me. | 不 他就想叫我 |
| [01:21] | After years of having to wait in the car and watch them do it, | 这么多年来我都是坐在车里等他们 |
| [01:24] | today I get to finally go inside the showroom. | 今天我终于能一起进店里了 |
| [01:27] | – I’m moving up! – Okay. | -我要升职了 -好吧 |
| [01:30] | Look, I’m all for you bonding with your dad, | 听我说 我很支持你和你爸联络感情 |
| [01:32] | but, you know, this is your job, okay? | 但是 这是你的工作 好吗 |
| [01:34] | You handle the creepy-crawlies. | 可怕的爬行动物都归你管 |
| [01:37] | What? It’s just a harmless corn snake. | 怎么了 不过是条无害的玉米蛇 |
| [01:39] | You can do this. | 你可以的 |
| [01:40] | You are a strong, independent woman, okay? | 你是强大而独立的新时代女性 好吗 |
| [01:44] | And in the name of women’s liberation, | 以女性解放之名 |
| [01:46] | I will not– no, no, I cannot | 我不会 不 我不能 |
| [01:50] | do something that you can do on your own. | 替你做你可以自己做的事 |
| [01:53] | Gotta go. | 我先走了 |
| [01:54] | Wait, you mean… | 等等… |
| [01:55] | You’re really going to leave me here with a snake? | 你真要把我跟这条蛇丢在这里吗 |
| [01:57] | Equal rights! | 男女平等 |
| [02:04] | Emme, where’d you even get that thing? | 艾米 你到底是哪里弄来的 |
| [02:06] | I traded it for a Twinkie at school. | 我在学校用一块奶油蛋糕换的 |
| [02:09] | Honey, y-you can’t keep that gross snake. | 亲爱的 这条恶心的蛇不能留下 |
| [02:12] | He’s not gross. | 它不恶心 |
| [02:13] | His name is Brian and I love him. | 它叫布莱恩 我很爱它 |
| [02:19] | What if I traded you two Twinkies for that snake? | 要是我拿两块奶油夹心跟你换呢 |
| [02:25] | So long, Brian. | 再见 布莱恩 |
| [02:39] | All right, this is the one. | 就是这辆了 |
| [02:42] | Now we just have to make the deal. | 接下来只要买卖谈成就可以了 |
| [02:44] | I can’t believe I’m here, doing the Burns system. | 没想到我居然来了这里 参与了伯恩斯套路 |
| [02:46] | I’ve been on the bench so long | 一直以来我都是替补队员 |
| [02:47] | and you finally put me in the game. | 今天你终于让我上场了 |
| [02:49] | I won’t let you down, Coach. | 不会让你失望的 教练 |
| [02:51] | Settle down, Sally. Yeah. | 别激动 小姑娘 |
| [02:54] | There’s the salesman. Now, here’s what we do: | 销售员在那里 我们的战略是 |
| [02:56] | you be the good cop, | 你来扮白脸 |
| [02:57] | I’ll be the grouchy-old-man- who-hates-everything cop. | 我来扮演什么都讨厌的愤怒老人 |
| [03:00] | Roger that, partner. | 收到 搭档 |
| [03:02] | I don’t need to do that. | 我不必这样说 |
| [03:05] | She’s a beaut, isn’t she? | 是不是非常美 |
| [03:06] | This one’s loaded. | 这辆车配置很好 |
| [03:07] | It’s got radar cruise control and parking assist. | 有雷达巡航控制装置还有辅助停车功能 |
| [03:10] | It can park itself. | 它可以自行停车 |
| [03:11] | Sounds like it doesn’t need me. Let’s go. | 看来它不需要我了 走吧 |
| [03:13] | W-Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | 等等 等等 |
| [03:15] | Ea-Ease up, Dad. He’s just doing his job. | 别激动 爸 他只是尽职地在介绍 |
| [03:17] | Sorry about that. He’s-he’s pretty tough. | 抱歉 我爸脾气不太好 |
| [03:20] | Tell us more. | 你再讲讲吧 |
| [03:20] | Well, this is our first model | 这是我们首款拥有 |
| [03:22] | with a completely digital dashboard. | 完全数据化仪表盘的车型 |
| [03:24] | There’s no ignition. | 没有点火开关 |
| [03:25] | Where does the key go? | 钥匙要插进哪里 |
| [03:26] | There’s actually no key, just a fob. | 没有钥匙 只有一条链子 |
| [03:29] | You’re a fob. | 你才是个链子 |
| [03:32] | He likes to make the names of things into insults. Yeah. | 他喜欢用物品名称来骂人 |
| [03:35] | Yesterday, he called me a doorbell. | 昨天他说我是个门铃 |
| [03:39] | Well, I should tell you about the Bluetooth. | 好吧 我给你们介绍下蓝牙 |
| [03:40] | You’re a Bluetooth. | 你才是个蓝牙 |
| [03:42] | Reggie. It’s actually Reggie. | 雷吉 我叫雷吉 |
| [03:45] | Dad, why don’t you, uh, have a seat? | 爸 不如你去那边坐会儿 |
| [03:47] | Let me talk to this guy for a second, huh? | 我来跟这人聊一会儿 好吗 |
| [03:51] | Hey, listen, uh, | 是这样 |
| [03:54] | neither of us wants to spend our whole Saturday dealing with him. | 咱俩都不想整个周六都跟他耗着 |
| [03:56] | Okay? So we need to be on the same team. | 对吧 所以我们得统一战线 |
| [03:58] | Thanks. You think we can get him to take a test drive? | 谢了 咱能不能让他试驾一下 |
| [04:00] | ‘Cause that’s where I shine. | 那才是我的闪光点 |
| [04:02] | Definitely. I mean, you’re gonna have to throw in chrome wheels | 当然 不过要是我们决定买 |
| [04:05] | if we buy the car. | 你得赠送镀铬轮毂 |
| [04:07] | I can swing that. | 可以安排 |
| [04:07] | Good, good. Oh, and, also, | 很好 对了 |
| [04:09] | you’re gonna need to take him to a drive-through | 你得带他去一趟得来速 |
| [04:11] | and buy us some breakfast. | 给我们买点早餐 |
| [04:11] | He needs to see if he can eat and drive at the same time. | 他需要看看能否边吃东西边开车 |
| [04:14] | – I don’t have any cash. – Oh, don’t worry. | -我身上没带现金 -别担心 |
| [04:16] | We’ll take you to an ATM. | 我们带你去找取款机 |
| [04:18] | Reggie, Reggie, | 雷吉 雷吉 |
| [04:19] | I don’t want to see you lose this sale. | 我不希望你把这单丢了 |
| [04:21] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [04:23] | I’ll grab the fob. | 我去拿链子 |
| [04:24] | I mean the key. We’ll call it a key. | 我是说钥匙 以后就叫钥匙 |
| [04:27] | I like you, Reggie. | 我很欣赏你 雷吉 |
| [04:28] | I knew right away you were special. | 一看你就知道是聪明人 |
| [04:35] | How’d it go? | 情况如何 |
| [04:36] | You get the chrome wheels? | 镀铬轮毂要到了吗 |
| [04:37] | Not only that– I got him to throw in breakfast. | 不仅如此 我还让他给咱们买早餐了 |
| [04:41] | Donny never did that. | 大唐可没做过这个 |
| [04:43] | Welcome to the bigs, son. | 欢迎加入高阶玩家队列 儿子 |
| [04:45] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [04:47] | What’s the matter? | 怎么了 |
| [04:48] | I-I just got something in my eye. | 有东西进我眼睛了 |
| [04:55] | Look at him. | 你看它 |
| [04:57] | Just staring at me. | 一直盯着我看 |
| [05:00] | Trying to figure out how to get all of me in his mouth. | 正在思考该怎样把我全吞下去 |
| [05:03] | So what are you gonna do with it? | 你打算怎么做 |
| [05:05] | Well, how ’bout this? | 这样如何 |
| [05:07] | I leave the room, | 我离开这里 |
| [05:08] | and then you take care of it however you want. | 你爱怎么处置它就怎么处置 |
| [05:11] | And, uh, if I hear the blender, | 如果我听到榨汁机响了 |
| [05:13] | no judgments. | 也不会说什么 |
| [05:15] | I am not blending your snake, okay? | 我不要榨你的蛇 |
| [05:18] | I am not touching that thing at all. | 我不要碰那玩意 |
| [05:20] | Well, I don’t want to touch it either. | 我也不想碰它 |
| [05:21] | Well, then we’re stuck. | 那没办法了 |
| [05:23] | What happened to me? | 我这是怎么了 |
| [05:24] | You know? I mean, I-I used to take care of | 其实在我结婚以前 |
| [05:27] | all the creepy-crawlies before I got married. | 这种爬行动物我都自己处理 |
| [05:30] | And I was good at it. | 而且我很擅长 |
| [05:32] | I think having a husband’s made me soft. | 我觉得有老公之后我变脆弱了 |
| [05:35] | That’s not good. | 这可不好 |
| [05:36] | I read on the Internet that, | 我在网上看了 |
| [05:37] | in ten years, there won’t be any men left at all. | 十年后 世界上就没有男人了 |
| [05:42] | They carry their phones in their front pocket, | 他们把手机放在前裤兜里 |
| [05:44] | and the radiation is turning them all into a bunch of Ken dolls. | 放射导致他们都变成了芭比娃娃 |
| [05:51] | I’ve never gotten sick from a test drive before. | 我以前试驾从来没恶心过 |
| [05:53] | I do panic stops to make sure the brakes work. | 我故意急刹车 为了看看刹车是否管用 |
| [05:57] | Hey, thanks again for breakfast. | 谢谢你安排的早餐 |
| [05:59] | Sorry you couldn’t keep yours down. | 很遗憾你最后全吐了 |
| [06:01] | I don’t trust a guy with a weak stomach. | 胃不好的人不值得信任 |
| [06:03] | Let’s go to the dealer next door. | 我们去隔壁看看吧 |
| [06:08] | Okay, listen, you’re losing him. | 听我说 他快要不买了 |
| [06:10] | You’re gonna have to sweeten the pot with an extended warranty. | 你得加长保修期 加大诱惑力 |
| [06:12] | Okay. Okay, I’ll see what I can do. | 好吧 我看看能不能安排 |
| [06:14] | Great, great. And on your way back, don’t be afraid | 好的 等你回来的时候 |
| [06:16] | to bring us some of your fancy coffees. | 记得给我们倒两杯咖啡 |
| [06:18] | All right? He gets sleepy after a big breakfast. | 知道了吗 他早饭吃太饱容易犯困 |
| [06:20] | – All right. – And maybe get yourself a mint. | -好 -再给自己来块薄荷糖 |
| [06:25] | This is going great. He’s agreeing to everything. | 太顺利了 他对我们予取予求 |
| [06:27] | Yeah! And here comes phase two. | 太好了 接下来是第二阶段 |
| [06:30] | – Oh, what’s phase two? – Donny. | -什么第二阶段 -大唐 |
| [06:34] | What’s he doing here? | 他怎么来了 |
| [06:34] | I called in a closer. | 我叫他来收尾 |
| [06:36] | Closer? Dad, I can be a closer. | 收尾 爸 我也可以收尾的 |
| [06:39] | I’m here. Where’s the mark? | 我来了 目标在哪里 |
| [06:42] | Why don’t you mind your own business? | 你能不能别多管闲事 |
| [06:44] | Lowell, are you part of this? | 洛厄尔 你跟他也是一伙的吗 |
| [06:45] | I’ve just heard so much about the Burns system, | 我只是一直听说伯恩斯套路 |
| [06:47] | I had to see it in person. | 就想亲眼看看 |
| [06:48] | Did you come to watch, too? | 你也是来观战的吗 |
| [06:51] | No! I’m doing it. | 不 我在参与 |
| [06:53] | I was here first. | 是我先来的 |
| [06:54] | Oh, good, there’s more of you. | 真好 你们人增多了 |
| [06:57] | This is my older son. He’s a real car expert. | 这是我大儿子 特别懂车 |
| [07:00] | That’s right. I’ve been riding in cars since I was a kid. | 没错 我从小就开始坐车 |
| [07:03] | Started in the backseat. | 一开始坐后座 |
| [07:04] | Did so well, they moved me up front. | 表现太好 后来挪到前面了 |
| [07:08] | I thought we were doing great together. | 刚才不是进展得很顺利吗 |
| [07:10] | Yeah. Just watch him work. The kid is a star. | 行了 你看他的表现 相当厉害 |
| [07:14] | Hey, let me ask you something. | 我问你个问题 |
| [07:16] | Are there any ghosts in that car? | 车里有幽灵吗 |
| [07:18] | What? | 什么 |
| [07:19] | Is the car ghost-free? It’s a basic question, man. | 这车里有没有幽灵 这问题很基础 |
| [07:21] | You seem like the kind of guy that might sell me a ghost car. | 你长得就一副会卖幽灵车的样子 |
| [07:25] | Where does he get this stuff? | 他这是跟哪儿学的 |
| [07:27] | From me. You know how much time we spend together. | 跟我学的 你知道我们经常待在一起 |
| [07:35] | Okay, well, | 好吧 |
| [07:36] | I called the zoo, I called the pet store. | 我打给了动物园 还有宠物商店 |
| [07:37] | Nobody wants Brian. | 谁都不要布莱恩 |
| [07:39] | And most of the people I talked to | 我问的大多数人 |
| [07:40] | tried to get me to take their snakes. | 都想让我买他们的蛇 |
| [07:43] | I guess we leave the snake here and you just move. | 那只能留蛇在这里 你搬走了 |
| [07:46] | It’s Brian’s house now. | 这里是布莱恩的家了 |
| [07:48] | No, he’s going to the pet store, okay? | 不行 我要送它去宠物商店 |
| [07:50] | We’ll just take him out of the box and we’ll sneak him in. | 把它从盒子里拿出来 偷偷送进去 |
| [07:53] | How are we gonna get the snake from here to the store | 可我们都不想碰它 要怎么把它 |
| [07:55] | if neither one of us wants to touch it? | 从这里送到商店去 |
| [07:58] | I know. We’ll sneak him in there in my other purse. | 我想到了 可以放进我的一个包里 |
| [08:02] | It’s snakeskin. | 是蛇皮的 |
| [08:05] | He’ll feel right at home. | 它会觉得宾至如归 |
| [08:07] | Okay. All right. So… | 好吧 来了 |
| [08:15] | Okay, Brian, jump on in. | 好了 布莱恩 跳吧 |
| [08:16] | Come on. | 快 |
| [08:18] | Come on. You can do it, boy! | 快点 你可以的 |
| [08:19] | Come on. | 快 |
| [08:21] | Come on! | 跳啊 |
| [08:21] | Yeah, I don’t think snakes follow directions without a flute. | 我觉得没有长笛 蛇不会听话的 |
| [08:27] | Okay. Well, uh… | 好吧 |
| [08:29] | you hold the purse. | 你拿着包 |
| [08:32] | All right, ready? | 准备好了吗 |
| [08:34] | Here goes nothing. | 尽力而为吧 |
| [08:41] | We did it! | 我们做到了 |
| [08:43] | Yeah. | 太好了 |
| [08:45] | All right. | 好的 |
| [08:47] | Good job, us. | 干得漂亮 |
| [08:50] | There’s an old Twizzler in there. | 里面还有一根扭纹糖 |
| [08:53] | Oh, maybe he’ll fall in love. | 也许它们可以谈个恋爱 |
| [08:58] | All right. All Dad has to do is sign on the dotted line. | 好了 爸只需要在虚线处签字即可 |
| [09:00] | You can thank me later. | 你回头谢我就行 |
| [09:02] | Whatever. We were doing fine without you. | 随你便 本来没你也挺好的 |
| [09:04] | Hey, you got your dad a great car. | 你们给老爸买了一辆好车 |
| [09:06] | Does it diminish it just because your brother helped? | 难道兄弟帮了忙 会影响这一点吗 |
| [09:09] | Yes! | 当然 |
| [09:11] | Don’t you know how family works? | 你难道不知道家人相处之道吗 |
| [09:14] | Forget it. | 算了 |
| [09:14] | I’m not signing this. | 我不签了 |
| [09:16] | What happened? | 怎么了 |
| [09:16] | None of your Bluetooth business, fobbo. | 关你蓝牙屁事 破链子 |
| [09:20] | Is that part of the system? | 这也是套路之一吗 |
| [09:21] | Who knows? Nobody tells me anything. | 谁知道呢 从来没人告诉我 |
| [09:23] | This is definitely new. | 这绝对是新情况 |
| [09:25] | I’m leaving. | 我要走了 |
| [09:26] | – What? – Yeah. | -什么 -是啊 |
| [09:27] | What about the car? | 那车怎么办 |
| [09:28] | I don’t need a car. | 我不需要车 |
| [09:29] | I don’t know, Dad. I liked that car, too. | 可是 爸 我也很喜欢那辆车 |
| [09:31] | Who asked you? | 谁问你了 |
| [09:32] | Dad, this is me, Donny. | 爸 是我 大唐 |
| [09:34] | That’s the voice you use for Adam. | 你跟亚当才会用这种语气 |
| [09:37] | Okay, I think we should all just settle down. | 行了 大家先冷静 |
| [09:39] | You want a piece of this? | 你想被我骂吗 |
| [09:39] | No, sir. | 不 先生 |
| [09:42] | How can I have a piece of it when I’m all the way over there? | 我去那边站着 就不会被您骂了 |
| [09:45] | Just tell me what happened. | 告诉我怎么回事 |
| [09:46] | I don’t have to tell you anything. | 我不用什么事都告诉你 |
| [09:48] | What, are you waiting for me to leave | 怎么 你在等我走吗 |
| [09:49] | so you can tell your number one son? | 好告诉你最爱的儿子 |
| [09:51] | He’s too emotional. I should have left him in the car. | 他可真矫情 我就该让他在车里等 |
| [09:53] | Okay, you know what? I’m leaving. | 算了 不必多说 我走了 |
| [09:55] | I wasted my whole Saturday | 我浪费了周六一天时间 |
| [09:57] | because I wanted to get closer to you. | 就为了跟你联络感情 |
| [09:58] | But I’m through trying. | 但我不想再尝试了 |
| [09:59] | Maybe you two can go to Six Flags together again, huh? | 也许你们可以再去一次六旗游乐园 |
| [10:01] | Which I know you took him to, | 我知道你带他去了 |
| [10:02] | even though you said you were going to the doctor. | 虽然你说要带他去看医生 |
| [10:04] | Nobody comes home from a checkup with cotton candy. | 没人会检查完身体 还捧着棉花糖回来 |
| [10:10] | I told you to ditch the cotton candy, | 我让你把棉花糖扔了 |
| [10:12] | but you had to be a show-off. | 你非得炫耀 |
| [10:14] | It was my half-birthday. | 那天是我半年生日 |
| [10:17] | Just take me home, Donny. | 你带我回家吧 大唐 |
| [10:20] | They left? | 他们走了吗 |
| [10:21] | I think something went wrong with their system. | 应该是他们的套路出了什么问题 |
| [10:23] | Oh, they have a system? | 他们还有套路吗 |
| [10:25] | Teach it to me. | 快教我 |
| [10:29] | I-I shouldn’t. | 我不能说 |
| [10:30] | I’ve already said too much. | 我已经说了太多 |
| [10:32] | We can offer you complimentary flavored Perrier. | 我们可以赠送不同口味的巴黎水 |
| [10:40] | Okay. | 好 |
| [10:46] | 爬行动物乐园 蛇 蜥蜴 乌龟 变色龙 | |
| [10:50] | Well, hello. | 你好 |
| [10:53] | we are shopping for a snake. | 我们想买一条蛇 |
| [10:56] | So you’re snakies like me. | 看来你们跟我一样是蛇粉 |
| [10:58] | Sure, yeah. Love snakes. | 对 我们很喜欢蛇 |
| [11:00] | H-H-How they don’t have feet and stuff. | 你看它们完全没有腿 |
| [11:03] | So, uh, so where are they? | 所以蛇在哪里呢 |
| [11:05] | Okay, my serpent friends are chilling along the back wall. | 那些小家伙们在后墙那边歇凉呢 |
| [11:09] | It’s a, uh, cold-blooded joke. | 你懂吗 因为它们是冷血动物 |
| [11:12] | That’s terrifying. | 真够吓人的 |
| [11:15] | Do-do… uh, if you don’t mind, | 要是你不介意的话 |
| [11:17] | we’d like a moment alone to browse. | 我们想自己看看 |
| [11:18] | Yeah, of course. | 当然 |
| [11:19] | Okay. Great. | 太好了 |
| [11:22] | All right, all right, all right, | 好了好了 |
| [11:23] | – let’s get rid of this thing. – Okay. | -赶紧把它弄走吧 -好 |
| [11:25] | Adios, Brian. | 再见 布莱恩 |
| [11:32] | You’re trying to leave a snake. | 你们想留一条蛇在这里 |
| [11:33] | This happens every time a woman comes in here. | 每次有女人进来就会这样 |
| [11:37] | Look, another woman. | 看 又来一个女人 |
| [11:42] | Brian? | 布莱恩 |
| [11:44] | What? Where is he? | 怎么回事 它去哪儿了 |
| [11:46] | I think we both closed our eyes | 当时你往包里倒的时候 |
| [11:47] | when you were putting him in your purse. | 我们好像都闭上了眼 |
| [11:49] | I’ll bet he never made it in. | 它应该是根本没进去 |
| [11:51] | That means there’s a snake loose in my house. | 也就是说我家有条蛇在乱窜 |
| [11:55] | Sounds like my kind of house. | 是我喜欢的感觉 |
| [11:58] | Okay, a little tip. | 我给你个建议 |
| [11:59] | Um, you’re creepy. Stop it. | 你太吓人了 别这样 |
| [12:06] | How was car shopping with Grandpa? | 你跟爷爷去买车感觉如何 |
| [12:08] | All right, listen, guys. | 大家听我说 |
| [12:10] | I just want you to know that I love all of you equally. | 我希望你们知道 我爱你们一样多 |
| [12:12] | If I take one of you to Six Flags, | 我要是带一个人去六旗游乐园 |
| [12:14] | I take all of you to Six Flags. | 那大家都一起去六旗游乐园 |
| [12:16] | We’re going to Six Flags? | 我们要去六旗游乐园吗 |
| [12:19] | No, no, it’s too expensive to take all of you. | 不去 带所有人去太贵了 |
| [12:20] | Go read a book. | 去看书吧 |
| [12:32] | Where is the remote? | 遥控器在哪儿 |
| [12:53] | Yeah. | 好 |
| [12:54] | You better run. | 你最好跑快点 |
| [12:57] | That scream was a war cry. | 我刚才的尖叫是在怒吼 |
| [13:03] | It’s been 20 minutes and there’s still no sign of Brian. | 已经20分钟了 还没找到布莱恩 |
| [13:06] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [13:07] | Can a snake climb stairs? | 蛇能爬楼梯吗 |
| [13:09] | Let’s say no. | 但愿不能 |
| [13:11] | I can’t find him. | 我找不到它 |
| [13:13] | We may need to buy a hawk. | 我们也许得买只老鹰 |
| [13:16] | Okay, let’s just sit down and look like | 这样吧 我们安静地坐下 |
| [13:18] | we’re not paying attention and then, you know, | 假装没有在看 静待时机 |
| [13:20] | maybe Brian’ll come out | 也许布莱恩就会出来 |
| [13:21] | and, you know, try to murder us. | 趁我们不备来杀我们 |
| [13:25] | How was your big, special day with your dad? | 跟你爸单独逛街的大喜日子感觉如何 |
| [13:28] | He brought Don in, | 他后来叫了大唐 |
| [13:29] | so I think it was their big, special day. | 我觉得其实是他们俩的大喜日子 |
| [13:32] | I’m sorry, honey. | 真遗憾 亲爱的 |
| [13:34] | It’s okay. | 没事 |
| [13:35] | I’m fine. | 我挺好的 |
| [13:36] | I’m the number two son. | 我是替补儿子 |
| [13:37] | If I’m that guy, I’m that guy. | 事已至此 多说无益 |
| [13:41] | And being number two is not bad. | 当替补也没什么不好 |
| [13:43] | No, like Batman and Robin. | 对 你看蝙蝠侠和罗宾 |
| [13:45] | Sure, Batman gets all the glory, | 光鲜亮丽都是蝙蝠侠的 |
| [13:46] | but Robin… | 但是罗宾 |
| [13:50] | Who am I kidding? Robin sucks. | 我想太多了 罗宾太惨了 |
| [13:53] | Adam, you’ve got to tell your dad how you feel. | 亚当 你得告诉你爸爸你的感受 |
| [13:56] | Look, I can’t have a real conversation with that guy. | 我根本没办法跟他好好聊天 |
| [13:59] | You know, emotional stuff’s your department. | 这种情感话题是你的专长 |
| [14:01] | Well, if it makes you feel any better, | 要是这句话能安慰到你 |
| [14:03] | I’m not great at your stuff, either. | 其实我也不擅长做你做的事 |
| [14:05] | I mean, being married has made me soft. | 跟你结婚之后我便软弱了 |
| [14:07] | I mean, you do all the yucky stuff for me. | 脏活累活都被你承包了 |
| [14:09] | But I thought you liked that. | 你不是很喜欢这样吗 |
| [14:10] | Well, I did, but now I just… | 我是很喜欢 但是现在 |
| [14:13] | I’m a little disappointed in myself, you know? | 我有点对自己感到失望了 |
| [14:15] | I don’t understand why I can’t… | 我不知道我为何不能… |
| [14:16] | Adam, there’s Brian. | 亚当 看到布莱恩了 |
| [14:18] | – Get him. Get him. – Okay. | -快去抓它 快 -好 |
| [14:21] | – No. – What? | -不 -什么 |
| [14:23] | Pick up that snake, Andi. | 你去抓那条蛇 安迪 |
| [14:25] | This is your moment. | 你的机会来了 |
| [14:26] | – What? No, it’s not. – Yeah. | -什么 不是 -是的 |
| [14:28] | You want to do it, right? So do it. | 你也想自己抓 对不对 那就动手 |
| [14:30] | Well, I can’t. | 我做不到 |
| [14:30] | Yes, you can. Yes, you can. | 你可以的 你当然可以 |
| [14:33] | You remember when Teddy was little, | 记不记得泰迪小的时候 |
| [14:34] | and his nose was all stuffed up | 他的鼻子被堵住了 |
| [14:35] | and you had to pull all that gunk out? | 你当时帮他把鼻涕揪出来 |
| [14:36] | And it just kept coming and coming and coming | 结果那条鼻涕一直源源不断 |
| [14:38] | like a magician’s scarf? | 简直像魔术师的围巾 |
| [14:41] | Only it wasn’t a scarf. | 但那不是围巾 |
| [14:42] | It was a snot snake. | 是一条长鼻涕 |
| [14:44] | That’s much worse than a real snake. | 那比真蛇恐怖多了吧 |
| [14:47] | I did do that. | 确实是我做的 |
| [14:48] | Yes, you did and you can do this. | 没错 你当初能做到 现在也可以 |
| [14:52] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [14:54] | – Okay. – Yeah. | -好的 -好 |
| [14:55] | – I’m doing it. – Okay. | -我来抓 -好 |
| [14:57] | – I’m doing it right now. – Yeah. | -我这就去抓 -好 |
| [15:02] | You got to get a little closer. | 你得靠近点才行 |
| [15:06] | Okay. | 好 |
| [15:07] | Hey, little buddy. Come on. | 小兄弟 来吧 |
| [15:09] | I’m gonna pick you up now. | 我现在抓你起来 |
| [15:11] | Here I come. | 我来了 |
| [15:13] | Stay away from my eyeballs. | 别攻击我的眼球 |
| [15:16] | Look at you. | 瞧一瞧 |
| [15:18] | I know. I did it. | 是啊 我做到了 |
| [15:21] | I did it! | 我做到了 |
| [15:21] | Oh, sorry, Brian. | 抱歉 布莱恩 |
| [15:27] | You know what? | 其实呢 |
| [15:29] | He is kind of cute. | 它还挺可爱的 |
| [15:32] | Hey, maybe we could keep him. | 要不咱们养着吧 |
| [15:34] | What does he eat? | 它都吃什么 |
| [15:35] | Dead baby mice. | 死老鼠崽 |
| [15:36] | So long, Brian. | 再见 布莱恩 |
| [15:38] | There you go. | 去吧 |
| [15:43] | Hi, Andi. | 安迪 |
| [15:43] | Hey, Joe. | 乔 |
| [15:44] | Enough small talk. Let’s eat. | 不必寒暄了 直接开吃吧 |
| [15:47] | You know, | 你知道吗 |
| [15:48] | any time you make my mother’s beef stew recipe, | 每次你做我妈妈的炖牛肉 |
| [15:51] | I come running. | 我都跑着过来 |
| [15:52] | I do know that. | 我知道 |
| [15:53] | And I-I told a little fib. | 我撒了个小谎 |
| [15:55] | Yeah, you’re not here to have beef stew. | 你不是来吃炖牛肉的 |
| [15:57] | You’re here to have feelings with Adam. | 你是来跟亚当谈心的 |
| [16:00] | What? | 什么 |
| [16:02] | I smell Grandma’s beef stew. | 我闻到了奶奶的炖牛肉 |
| [16:05] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [16:08] | What’s he doing here? | 他怎么来了 |
| [16:09] | I called your father over here because, you know, | 我叫你爸爸过来是因为 |
| [16:12] | you helped me with my thing, | 你帮我克服了恐惧 |
| [16:13] | so now I’m gonna help you with yours. | 我现在也帮你克服你的困难 |
| [16:16] | This is your moment. | 这是你的机会 |
| [16:18] | Pick up that snake. | 快去抓那条蛇 |
| [16:23] | I don’t want to. | 我不想去 |
| [16:24] | No talking, no stew. All right? | 不谈心就不能吃肉 懂吗 |
| [16:26] | I will dump this in the sink right now. | 我立刻就倒进下水道里 |
| [16:27] | Okay, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. | 好好好 我知道了 |
| [16:33] | Let me see it. | 让我看看 |
| [16:39] | Damn, that looks good. | 妈的 看起来真好吃 |
| [16:42] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 |
| [16:45] | Okay. | 好 |
| [16:46] | Then I will leave you to it. | 那就不打扰你们了 |
| [16:48] | And if I don’t hear feelings, the stew gets it. | 要是我听不到你们谈心 炖肉就再见 |
| [17:02] | You got something to say to me? | 你有话要对我说吗 |
| [17:04] | You got something to say to me? | 你有话要对我说吗 |
| [17:07] | Okay, fine. I’ll start. | 好吧 我先来 |
| [17:12] | I thought we were gonna do the Burns system just the two of us, | 我以为这次伯恩斯套路是我们俩玩 |
| [17:14] | like you and Don always did. | 就像你跟大唐以前那样 |
| [17:16] | Then you brought him in and… | 结果你后来叫了他来 |
| [17:19] | I got my feelings hurt. | 我就有点伤心 |
| [17:21] | That’s what the yelling was all about? | 所以你冲我吼就是为了这个吗 |
| [17:23] | The Burns system was never a two-man operation. | 伯恩斯套路从来不是两个人玩的 |
| [17:27] | Well, then who else was in it? | 那还有谁参与了 |
| [17:28] | Some other guy I don’t even know about? | 难道还有我不认识的兄弟吗 |
| [17:31] | You! | 是你啊 |
| [17:32] | You were the kid in the car | 你是坐在车里的孩子 |
| [17:33] | that had a baseball game to get to. | 赶着要去参加棒球比赛 |
| [17:35] | You were our clock to rush the guy. | 有你在 我们才能催销售员 |
| [17:37] | Then why did Don always get to go inside? | 那为什么大唐每次都能进去 |
| [17:39] | It had to be you inside the car. | 必须由你坐在车里 |
| [17:41] | Nobody’s gonna feel sorry for Don sitting out there | 要是大唐坐在里面 头伸到天窗外 |
| [17:44] | with his head sticking out of the sun roof like a giraffe. | 跟个长颈鹿似的 没人会同情他 |
| [17:50] | So I was in it. | 原来我也参与了 |
| [17:51] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [17:54] | There was never a Burns system without you. | 没有你就没有伯恩斯套路 |
| [18:02] | I see. | 明白了 |
| [18:04] | What’s the matter? | 怎么了 |
| [18:06] | I got something in my eye again. | 又有东西进我眼睛了 |
| [18:10] | – Must be allergy season. – Yeah. | -肯定是过敏季节 -好 |
| [18:12] | You got something in your eye, too? | 你眼里也进东西了吗 |
| [18:13] | No. | 没有 |
| [18:16] | I’m just sorry that we didn’t close the deal. | 只是很遗憾 最后交易没谈成 |
| [18:19] | Yeah, what happened back there? | 是啊 到底怎么回事 |
| [18:20] | Why didn’t you buy the car? | 你为什么没买车 |
| [18:21] | It’s not important. | 这不重要 |
| [18:24] | Andi, Dad won’t tell me what he’s feeling. | 安迪 爸不告诉我他是怎么想的 |
| [18:26] | All right. All… all right. | 好吧 好吧 |
| [18:30] | The thing is, when I went to close the deal, | 是这样 我去签购车合同的时候 |
| [18:33] | the salesman said that that car would last me a good 15 years. | 销售员说这个车应该能用个十五年 |
| [18:37] | So? | 所以呢 |
| [18:38] | So, I-I realized this might be my last car. | 我就意识到这可能是我最后一辆车 |
| [18:42] | It just kind of hit me. | 就突然有点难受 |
| [18:49] | Well… I get it. | 我明白 |
| [18:54] | It happens. | 是会这样的 |
| [18:56] | I fell asleep sitting in a chair at Ikea the other day. | 那天我坐在宜家的椅子上睡着了 |
| [19:01] | That’s not something a young man does. | 年轻人才不会这样 |
| [19:03] | Listen, napping is one of the perks of old age. | 打盹算是高龄的一个好处吧 |
| [19:06] | We should go to a baseball game together. | 我们应该一起去看棒球比赛 |
| [19:08] | That’s a good three and a half hour siesta. | 可以午睡三个半小时 |
| [19:14] | Hey, I got an idea. | 我想到了 |
| [19:17] | Let’s lease you a car. | 给你租个车吧 |
| [19:18] | Those only last a couple years. | 估计只能用几年而已 |
| [19:20] | Oh, I like the sound of that. | 这主意不错 |
| [19:23] | Good. | 好 |
| [19:23] | Yeah, good. | 很好 |
| [19:26] | Listen, um, | 对了 |
| [19:27] | don’t tell Don about what I-I told you. | 我跟你说的事 别跟大唐说 |
| [19:30] | He doesn’t like to talk about feelings like you do. | 他不像你这么喜欢促膝谈心 |
| [19:34] | Because you guys aren’t as close as we are? | 是因为你们关系没我们这么好吗 |
| [19:36] | No. Because he lacks your overabundance of lady hormones. | 不是 因为他没你这么多雌性荷尔蒙 |
| [19:48] | I’m really proud of you both. | 我为你们感到骄傲 |
| [19:51] | Here, look at me. | 来 看着我 |
| [19:53] | Say “Feelings.” | 说 谈心 |
| [19:58] | That’s going on the Christmas card | 这照片要打印到圣诞贺卡上 |
| [19:59] | and you can’t stop me. | 你们无法阻止我 |
| [20:01] | She’s bossy, but she sure makes a fine stew. | 她虽然专断 但炖肉确实做得不错 |
| [20:04] | Well, she’s good at a lot of things. | 她擅长做的事情很多 |
| [20:06] | You should see her handle a snake. | 你应该看看她抓蛇的样子 |
| [20:14] | I don’t want to hear about your private life. | 我不想听你们床上的细节 |
| [20:21] | – What’s happening? – Hey, Don. | -什么情况 -大唐 |
| [20:23] | It’s stew night and nobody called me? | 今晚吃炖肉 竟然没人叫我吗 |
| [20:26] | Come on. There’s plenty. | 来吧 还有很多 |
| [20:28] | Already picked out most of the good stuff, anyway. | 反正好吃的都被我们挑完了 |
| [20:34] | What’s wrong with you? | 你这是怎么了 |
| [20:36] | I just bought a car. | 我刚买了一辆车 |
| [20:41] | The salesman offered me free Perrier | 销售员说赠送我巴黎水 |
| [20:43] | and the next thing I know, I’m driving home | 结果下一秒我就开着新车回来了 |
| [20:44] | in a new 15-passenger van. | 是一辆15座的客货车 |
| [20:49] | I don’t even know 15 people. | 我根本不认识那么多人 |