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瑞克和莫蒂(Rick and Morty)第5季第4集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月13日 By jubentaici_movie_user 瑞克和莫蒂(Rick and Morty)第5季第4集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
目录
S01E01
S01E02
S01E03
S01E04
S01E05
S01E06
S01E07
S01E08
S01E09
S01E10
S01E11
S02E01
S02E02
S02E03
S02E04
S02E05
S02E06
S02E07
S02E08
S02E09
S02E10
S03E01
S03E02
S03E03
S03E04
S03E05
S03E06
S03E07
S03E08
S03E09
S03E10
S04E01
S04E02
S04E03
S04E04
S04E05
S04E06
S04E07
S04E08
S04E09
S04E10
S05E01
S05E02
S05E03
S05E04
S05E05
S05E06
S05E07
S05E08
S05E09
S05E10
S06E01
S06E02
S06E03
S06E04
S06E05
S06E06
S06E07
S06E08
S06E09
S06E10
S07E01
S07E02
S07E03
S07E04
S07E05
S07E06
S07E07
S07E08
S07E09
S07E10
时间 英文 中文
[00:06] Mom! We’re gonna miss the movie! 妈,我们快赶不上电影了
[00:08] -No, we’re not. -Okay, but we’ve been here for hours. -才怪 -但我们在这待好久了
[00:11] I-I don’t want to hang out at the stupid horse hospital. 我不想待在这间蠢马医院
[00:13] This stupid horse hospital puts dinner on your table. 你有饭吃都是因为这间蠢马医院
[00:16] It wouldn’t kill you to take an interest. 试着多了解这里一点也不会死
[00:20] W-What’s this thing? I-In the middle of the room? 中间这台机器是什么?
[00:22] With — With the hole in the end? 尾端还有洞?
[00:23] That’s a breeding mount. The nurses use it to collect…reproductive material. 那是取精器,护士会用那台机器收集生殖物质
[00:40] Okay, let’s go see this latest piece of Marvel shit you kids are jizzing over. 好,我们去看让你们这些小鬼兴奋到不行的最新漫威电影
[00:43] Yeah. A-About time. 很好,总算要去了
[00:45] So, d-does your hospital ever need, like, after-school volunteers? 你们医院需不需要学生志工?
[00:49] Wow. Who are you and where did you put my son? 你是谁,你把我儿子放在哪了?
[00:52] Ha! No, no. Seriously. I-I’m very interested in — in your work. 我是真的对你的工作很有兴趣
[01:01] Morty, you dirty little doggy. 莫蒂,你这只肮脏的狗
[01:04] Ugh! Come on! 真是的
[01:08] Hey, Rick. 瑞克
[01:10] Oh, hey, kiddo. How’s your Saturday? 你好,你过得如何?
[01:12] You know, super chill. W-W-Whatcha doin’? 很轻松,你在干吗?
[01:14] Eh, nothing adventurous. 没什么有趣的
[01:15] You know that race of Underground Dwelling Cannibal Horse People that we’re always fighting? 你知道我们一直在对抗的地下食人马人种族吗?
[01:18] Yeah, the CHUDs. W-W-What about ’em? 对,地马,他们怎么了?
[01:20] Well, don’t tell anybody, but I’m working on a bioweapon to use against them, 别说出去,我正在研究对付他们的生化武器
[01:24] so I got this barrel of horse semen from your mom’s hospital 所以从你妈的医院拿了这桶马精
[01:26] and I’m just gonna, you know, subject it to some otherworldly forces. 我要使用外星力量来加强马精
[01:30] Guess I should test it, make sure it’s — 我应该检测一下
[01:31] -Make sure it’s what?! -Horse semen, obviously. -测什么?-检测是不是马精
[01:33] Okay, but it says it is right on the barrel! 好,但桶子上都已经写了
[01:35] You’re not being very scientific, Morty. 这样太不科学了,莫蒂
[01:37] Measure twice, cut once. Especially with semen. 一定要讲求精确,尤其是精液
[01:39] Did you even ask Mom if you could have this?! 你有先问过妈才拿走这个吗?
[01:41] Morty, if I wanted to steal horse semen, I’d — 莫蒂,我如果想偷马精,我就…
[01:43] Yes, I asked her. What is at stake for you here? 我当然问过她,你在担心什么?
[01:46] -Why don’t you trust labels?! -All right! Fine! I won’t test it! -请相信标签,好吗? -好,我不测了
[01:49] God damn. Your generation really picks random hills to die on. 天啊,你们这一代介意的点好怪
[01:51] Don’t get too close. 别靠太近
[01:53] I’m running an inhuman amount of power through this semen. 我要对这精液灌输非人量的力量
[01:55] Should be safe, though, since the semen itself is, you know, also inhuman. Here we go. 应该很安全,这精液也是非人的,开始了
[02:14] W-What happened?! 怎么回事?
[02:15] The sperm, Morty! 精子,莫蒂
[02:16] They’re super monster sperm now! I blame myself. 变成超级怪兽精子了,是我的错
[02:18] Unless there was something about the sperm I didn’t know. 除非有什么我不知道的事
[02:21] Are you — Are you saying that to mess with me? 你是要陷害我吗?
[02:23] What? Mess with you how? 什么?我哪里要陷害你了?
[02:24] Like, trying to get me to say something? 你想逼我说什么吗?
[02:26] Morty, I have no idea what you’re talking about! 莫蒂,我不知道你在讲什么
[02:27] -For real? -Yes! -真的吗? -对
[02:29] Okay. Good. Then — Then it’s your fault! 很好,那就是你的错
[03:04] Dad, what the hell is going on?! 爸,到底是怎么回事?
[03:05] Beth, sweetheart, Can you give me a minute? 贝丝,宝贝,可以先等一下吗?
[03:07] I’m trying to steer around the bodies of our neighbors. 我正在努力闪过邻居的尸体
[03:09] Oh, that felt like Gene. 感觉是吉恩
[03:11] That’s on you, Beth.Dad, I swear– -都是你害的,贝丝 -爸,我发誓
[03:12] Mom, it’s — it’s not Rick’s fault, it’s — 不是瑞克的错
[03:14] Space Sperm. What?! -是太空精子 -什么?
[03:15] Yeah. Space Sperm. 对,太空精子
[03:17] I-I’ve seen em’ before, but n-n-never like this. 但没看过这种的
[03:19] SpaceSperm?! 太空精子?
[03:20] Sperm from Space? 来自太空的精子吗?
[03:22] Very impressive verbal forensic work, Jerry. 你想得出来还真厉害,杰瑞
[03:24] Holy shit. How big are space dicks? 靠,那太空屌有多大?
[03:26] Don’t answer that! Damn, they must be huge. 别回答,天啊,一定很大
[03:35] Oh, shit, oh, shit, shit. 靠…
[03:43] Mr. Sanchez! 山查兹先生
[03:44] The President is very eager to speak with you! 总统急着找你
[03:50] Morty, look, you gotta do me a solid here. 莫蒂,你得帮我一个忙
[03:51] Y-you want me to keep the secret of where these things came from? 要我对那些怪兽的来源保密吗?
[03:53] Yes, technically, it’s a lie, but I messed up, 对,虽然是谎言,但我搞砸了
[03:56] and I’m embarrassed ’cause it’s, you know, science. 我觉得很丢脸,因为是科学
[03:58] No problem. I got your back, dawg. 没问题,我会挺你的,老兄
[04:00] Really? Okay. Cool. And thanks, Morty. 真的吗? 好,谢了,莫蒂
[04:02] I thought that’d be a harder sell. 我没想到你会这么爽快就答应
[04:04] Y-You did a shameful thing. 你做了很丢脸的事
[04:05] Dwelling on it isn’t gonna help, you know, am I right? 一直想也不会有帮助,对吧?
[04:07] Sometimes you just gotta wipe it off, 有时候就是要擦掉
[04:09] toss it in the trash, and head back to study hall. 丢到垃圾桶里,再回去自习室
[04:12] Uh, not getting the metaphor but I’ll take your hall pass. 我不懂你的比喻,但谢谢你帮忙
[04:14] Sanchez! Get the hell in here! 山查兹,快点过来
[04:16] Space Sperm? 太空精子?
[04:18] Jesus, how big are space dicks?Same page club. -天啊,太空屌多大? -我们想得一样
[04:21] Well, Mr. President, the theory of Cosmic DNA 总统先生,宇宙基因理论
[04:23] has been around for decades — Chupacabras, Yeti, 已经存在数十年了,卓柏卡布拉、雪怪
[04:25] Stonehenge, Ancient Rome. 巨石阵、古罗马
[04:27] Are these all myths, monsters, legends, 那些都是神话、怪兽、传说吗?
[04:30] or different names for sperm from outer space? 还是其实都是外太空的精子?
[04:32] I’ll tell you what I think, Sanchez. 我认为这场混乱
[04:34] I think either youcaused this mess, 要不是你造成的
[04:35] or it’s those godforsaken Horse People that dwell underground. 就是地底那些奇怪的马人搞的鬼
[04:38] -CHUDs. -CHUDs. -That’s them. -地马 -就是他们
[04:39] Ugh, if they’re behind this, so help me, God. 如果是他们造成的,愿主帮助我
[04:42] Morty, you’ve always been a straight shooter. 莫蒂,你向来都很诚实
[04:44] You can’t prove that! Wait, what? -你没有证据 -等等,什么?
[04:45] Oh — oh. Right.I can protect you, little man. 对,没错,我可以保护你,小子
[04:47] Blow that whistle. Toot, toot. 说实话
[04:49] Is this your grandpa’s fault? 这是你外公造成的吗?
[04:50] Here’s what I know, sir. 我只知道
[04:51] This is the greatest country on Earth. 这是地球上最棒的国家
[04:53] It invented apple pies and lasers. 发明了苹果派和雷射
[04:55] Mm. Keep talking.And that sperm…We don’t know nothin’ about it. -没错 -我们对那些精子的事一无所知
[04:58] Then the CHUDs just got themselves a war. 那我就要对地马开战了
[05:00] And you just dodged a personal drone strike. 而你逃过了无人机袭击
[05:03] Hello! Hello. Sorry, I’m late. 大家好,抱歉,我来晚了
[05:05] This is Professor Shabooboo, the world’s leading expert on sperm. 这位是精子专家夏布布教授
[05:07] -Thanks for getting here so fast. -My schedule was wide open. -谢谢你赶来 -我这阵子很闲
[05:10] I have been tracking our new sperm friends since their arrival, 我已经追踪这群精子很久了
[05:12] a-and if my calculations are correct, 我算出它们
[05:14] they have gathered here. 应该是在这集合
[05:16] Why would the sperm go to the Grand Canyon? 精子干吗去大峡谷?
[05:19] Why are you looking at me like the answer is obvious? 你们干吗都觉得答案很明显?
[05:22] Oh, you can’t be serious. Are we in middle school? 有没有搞错?你们多幼稚?
[05:25] You think sperm are instinctively heading for America’s –Don’t high-road us, lady. -你们觉得精子会本能性跑向… -少装了,小姐
[05:28] It’s where they went. 它们就是去那里
[05:30] Now, how do we deal with these… 要怎么处理这些
[05:31] “Orgasogoblins”? No takers? 精鬼?不好吗?
[05:34] Okay. These… “Cumplestiltskins?” 那精兽呢?
[05:36] No? Dumb? These, uh, “Skeet Boogins?” 不好,那精怪呢?
[05:38] Oh, yeah, yeah, Skeet Boogins. 好,精怪
[05:40] Really? Skeet Boogins? 真的?精怪?
[05:41] We’ll use it as a placeholder and beat it later. 先暂时这么叫,之后再讨论
[05:43] Mr. President, i-if I may? 总统,容我说一句话?
[05:45] Luckily, I was able to secure a specimen. 我很幸运抓到了一个样本
[05:47] Now, obviously our first steps will be to analyze its DNA 第一步当然就是要分析基因
[05:49] and figure out what these beautiful creat– 搞懂这些美丽的…
[05:52] Oh, why?!It-it had a gun! -你干吗? -它有枪
[05:55] Are you out of your mind bringing an armed sperm in here? 你疯了吗?你竟然把持枪精子带进来这里?
[05:58] But they can’t holdguns! 它们无法持枪
[05:59] The boy literally never lies! 他从不说谎
[06:01] Look, if you want these things gone, 你如果想消灭它们
[06:02] give Rick and me a plane and some nukes. 就帮我和瑞克准备飞机和核弹
[06:04] We’ll wipe ’em out and leave no trace of them. 我们会把它们毁尸灭迹
[06:06] Only one way to deal with it. 只能这样了
[06:07] He’s right. I’m a scientist. 他是对的,我是科学家
[06:08] Fair enough. Blow ’em to hell. 好吧,把它们炸死吧
[06:10] What are people gonna do, 难道大家会骂我们
[06:11] complain we made the canyon grander? 把大峡谷变更大吗?
[06:13] Jerry, we’re being bad parents. Do something! 杰瑞,我们很不尽责,做点什么
[06:15] I-is this water for everyone? 这是大家都能喝的水吗?
[06:18] -Yes, and I’d love a glass. -Comin’ up! -对,我想喝一杯 -马上来
[06:21] What are you doing? 干吗?
[06:23] And, Rick, to make sure you don’t screw anything up, 还有,瑞克,为了避免你搞砸
[06:25] I’m sending my best men with you. 我会派一群最优秀的男人陪同你
[06:26] -And women. -It’s a fine suggestion, -还有女人 -这建议很棒
[06:28] but I doubt their leader will be a sexy queen that needs to be kickboxed. 但它们的领袖应该不会是需要用踢拳对付的性感女王
[06:31] 100% male Marines! 百分百男性海军陆战队员
[06:35] They say cutting a sperm’s throat is like running a warm knife through butter. 听说对精子割喉就像热刀切奶油
[06:39] I’m gonna make these things pregnant…with death! 我要让那些精子怀上死亡
[06:42] -No fear! -No humility! -不恐惧 -不谦逊
[06:43] Zero chance of consequences! -不承担后果 -不承担后果
[06:46] Hey, gentlemen’s bet — which of these background Marines you think will last the longest? 嘿,我们来打赌,哪个背景陆战队员会撑最久?
[06:49] I’m not betting on human lives, Rick. 我是不会拿人命打赌的,瑞克
[06:51] All of these people are gonna survive, 这群人都会活下来
[06:52] but obviously that guy the longest. 但当然是他会撑最久
[06:54] Yeah, he’s my pick, too. What’s his name? 对,我也选他,他叫什么?
[06:56] Blazen? Pretty cool. 布雷辰吗?真酷
[06:59] Yeah. He’s, like, meditating through turbulence. 对,他遇到乱流还能冥想
[07:01] Psh. I bet if something fell, he’d like, catch it without opening his eyes. 他应该能闭眼接住掉下来的东西
[07:04] Totally. Should we throw something at him? -没错 -要不要对他丢东西?
[07:06] I-I got a pencil somewhere. 我身上有铅笔
[07:10] Who-who’s shooting at us?! 是谁在攻击我们?
[07:12] Oh, wow, that’s unexpected. 天啊,真出乎意料
[07:15] The sperm made a catapult?! 精子做投石器?
[07:16] A-A-Are they getting smarter?! 是变聪明了吗?
[07:18] No, you’re getting dumber because that’s a trebuchet. 不对,是你变笨了,那叫抛石机
[07:20] Nobody knows the difference! 没人知道差异
[07:21] They’re reloading that textbook trebuchet! 它们会继续攻击
[07:23] Time to fly! Aaaaaah! 我们该跳机了
[07:36] We gotta keep moving. 我们得继续前进
[07:37] -So cool. -Not even a scratch. -超酷 -连刮伤都没有
[07:38] Okay, girls, and I mean that derogatorily. 好,妹子们,我是在损你们没错
[07:40] We just took a fat “L,” and what we need is a fat “P.” 我们受到攻击,需要一个大计
[07:44] A plan. 大计划
[07:46] I take the lead here. You two watch the flanks. 我带头,你们顾侧边
[07:48] Blazen, bring up the– Hey! 布雷辰,你负责…
[07:50] Please, one person draws the plan! 不行,只有一个人可以画计划
[07:53] Skeeters! 精怪
[07:54] -Jipers! -Ropers! -精虫 -精精
[07:55] I’m sorry, but what the hell are we calling them? 抱歉,我们到底要怎么称呼它们?
[07:59] Fine. I’m dying, so I get to pick the name. 好吧,我要死了,我来取名字
[08:01] Crispy Cremes with a “C”! 精子糖霜甜甜圈
[08:09] Whoa. E-Easy there, little guy. It’s okay. I-I-It’s okay. 冷静点,小子,没事的…
[08:16] Do you…recognize me? 你认得我吗?
[08:17] Do you know you came from me? 你知道你是我生出来的?
[08:19] I’m Morty. 我叫莫蒂
[08:21] I’ll call ya “Sticky,” 我就叫你黏黏
[08:22] ‘c-’cause you’re sticky and — and you’re stuck. 因为你很黏,而且你卡住了
[08:29] Step aside, Morty. 让开,莫蒂
[08:30] It’s okay. Y-You don’t gotta do this. 没关系,不用杀它
[08:32] It’s haploid genetic code, Morty, 它是单分染色体基因,莫蒂
[08:34] a biological fertilizing machine. 也是授精机器
[08:36] W-What’s gotten into you? 你是怎么了?
[08:37] Rick, let him go. 瑞克,放它走吧
[08:41] Morty, don’t fuck with me. 莫蒂,别闹了
[08:42] What the hell’s going on with you? 到底怎么回事?
[08:44] I think I know exactly what’s going on here. 我应该知道是怎么回事了
[08:47] Kidding. This shit is totally random. 我开玩笑的,这根本没道理
[08:49] -Let’s keep moving. -W-Which way? -继续前进 -往哪走?
[08:53] When one sense is bound, the others are released. 一种感官受限,其他感官就会更敏锐
[08:58] Holy shit. He — He can smell caves? 靠,他闻得出山洞吗?
[09:00] I’m not trying to smell anything. 我什么都不想闻
[09:02] The whole planet’s a dorm room trash can. 整个地球都是宿舍垃圾桶的味道
[09:05] Sir, Rick Sanchez has gone dark. 总统,瑞克山查兹消失了
[09:06] I knew we couldn’t rely on him! 我就知道我们不能信任他
[09:08] Well, maybe the pilot got too horny 或许是飞行员
[09:10] as they approached America’s Vagina. 在靠近美国的阴道时太性奋了
[09:11] If you’re gonna hang out in my war room, 你如果要待在我的作战室
[09:12] you can’t just make snarky comments. 就不能只会酸言酸语
[09:14] At least do something useful, like Jerry. 至少做点事,像杰瑞那样
[09:16] Right to the top, just the way you like it. 我知道你喜欢倒到满
[09:19] Here’s our situation. Rick’s gone, and so are all our nukes. 现在瑞克跟我们的核弹都消失了
[09:22] Now what? 怎么办?
[09:23] -None of you have an idea? -I do. -你们都没想法吗? -我有
[09:25] That’s right, me — the girl. 没错,就是我这个小女孩
[09:27] Gentlemen, what do sperm want? 各位先生,精子想要什么?
[09:29] The same thing as a lumberjack in the morning or a fox at night. 就像早上的伐木工或晚上的狐狸
[09:32] Pants! Eggs. -裤子 -卵
[09:33] Pancakes! Eggs. -松饼 -卵…
[09:35] You want to control giant sperm, you need a giant egg. 要控制巨大精子就要用巨大卵子
[09:37] W-W-Wait a minute. Wait — wait a minute. 等等…
[09:38] Sperm are hunters. And what do sperm hunt? 精子是猎人,精子会猎什么?
[09:40] -Eggs. -Exactly. -卵子 -没错
[09:42] And what would happen if we enlargedone? 如果我们把一颗卵子放大呢?
[09:44] They’ll head right for it! Get MIT on the phone. 它们就会冲过来,联络麻省理工
[09:46] And get this guy a Nobel Prize. 颁发诺贝尔奖给他
[09:49] You became a woman today. 你今天成为了女人
[09:55] So, Blazen, you got kids? 布雷辰,你有小孩吗?
[09:58] The battlefield is myfamily. 战场就是我的家人
[09:59] -So cool. -Wicked badass. -超酷 -好屌的硬汉
[10:01] Go. I’ll hold ’em off. 你们走,我来缠住它们
[10:03] Blazen, you don’t have to do this. 布雷辰,你不用这样
[10:04] Shh. It is my destiny. 这是我的命运
[10:06] He’s right, Morty. It’s the price of being Blazen. 没错,莫蒂,这是身为布雷辰的代价
[10:08] Let him do his thing. 别拦他
[10:12] Blood for blood. 血债血还
[10:14] Cream for cream. 精债精还
[10:16] Oh, no. I can’t reach that! 糟糕,我碰不到
[10:19] Idiot! 笨蛋
[10:21] What?! They’re comfortable! 干吗?这很舒服
[10:22] You should try them! 你们要试试看
[10:26] That’ll do it. I’m worm food. 没办法了,我成了虫子的食物
[10:28] Morty, find my wife. 莫蒂,去找我老婆
[10:30] Tell her I wasn’t wearing her thong. 跟她说我没穿她的丁字裤
[10:32] That’s a photocopy of “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit model Kathy Ireland. 《运动画刊》模特儿凯西爱尔兰
[10:36] It’s — it’s my wife. We have sex. 她是我老婆,我们会做爱
[10:38] Here, hold that picture up so we can have sex one last time. 帮我拿照片,我要再跟她做一次
[10:41] I-I know how to suck myself. 我会自吹
[10:42] What?! 什么?
[10:45] Ugh, I was so wrong about this guy. 我完全错看他了
[10:46] He didn’t even buy us any time. 他连时间都没帮我们争取到
[10:49] Morty, get ready for some fireworks. 莫蒂,我要放烟火了
[10:57] Uh-oh.Oh, gross! 真恶心
[10:59] This is the first time I’ve ever regretted being taken alive. 这是我第一次后悔被抓
[11:02] Wait, who the fuck is that?! 等等,那是谁?
[11:03] Silence in the presence of me. 看到我请安静
[11:05] I am The Sperm Queen, 我是精子女王
[11:07] and youare of special interest to me. 我对你很有兴趣
[11:11] Hey, what the fuck are you doing with my stuff? 你们他妈干吗乱拿我的东西?
[11:13] A-And why do you have the horse jerkoff machine from my daughter’s hospital? 我女儿医院的取精机怎么在这?
[11:16] We need it to create our army. 我们需要用来建立军队
[11:19] Well, you need more than that, dummy. You need a horse. 这样还不够,笨蛋,你还需要马
[11:21] Oh but our stallion is already here. 但我们的种马就在这里
[11:24] Isn’t that right, Morty? 对不对,莫蒂?
[11:26] Or shall I say… Father? 还是我该叫你一声爸?
[11:28] Morty, you nasty, lying, little world-ending pervert. 莫蒂,你这恶心又爱说谎又导致世界毁灭的变态
[11:31] I-I-I’m sorry. 对不起
[11:34] -What was it like? -Fantastic! -爽吗? -很爽
[11:37] Rick, I’m sorry! 瑞克,对不起
[11:39] I-I just thought maybe I could have repeated sex 我还以为我一直用取精机
[11:41] with a horse machine without it becoming Armageddon. 不会导致世界末日
[11:42] I-I realize that’s on me. 这全是我的错
[11:44] Yeah, not exactly accepting apologies while I’m stuck here as Handjob Solo. 我被困住了,我不接受你的道歉
[11:47] This is all your fault for being ashamed of us, Morty. 都是你不该以我们为耻,莫蒂
[11:50] How many millions went to their graves for you, 有无数个精子为了你送死
[11:53] hurling themselves into the void, 努力向前冲
[11:55] only to discover a grody sock 结果是恶心的袜子
[11:58] or a carefully folded landing strip of toilet paper? 或是精心折好的卫生纸跑道?
[12:01] How do you know all this?! 你怎么都知道?
[12:03] Oh, honey, because we’re the very essence of you. 亲爱的,我们是你的精华
[12:05] We are your shame incarnate. 我们是你羞耻的体现
[12:08] And once we’re through with you, 等我们完事之后
[12:09] our sperm army will take over the world! 我们的精子大军就会称霸世界
[12:12] Put him on the machine! 启用机器
[12:14] -Rick, do something! -On it. -瑞克,快做点什么 -没问题
[12:20] -Wh-what did you do? -I got out of your eyeline. -你做了什么? -离开你视野
[12:22] Oh, no. Oh! Oh! 不
[12:24] Yes! The end is near! 没错,末日将至
[12:27] Any last words? 有什么遗言吗?
[12:31] -Sticky! -Gross. I know you’re not a wordsmith, Morty, but — -黏黏 -真恶,你语文造诣很烂,莫蒂,但…
[12:34] No, no, no, my-my sperm friend is here! 不,是我的精子朋友
[12:36] Ugh, never give ’em a name. 你不该帮怪物取名字
[12:41] Fools! You can’t beat me! 笨蛋,你们是无法赢过我的
[12:43] You didn’t bring a woman that can kickbox! 你们没找会踢拳的女人来
[12:50] Is that all you got? 你就这点本事吗?
[12:54] Damn, that’s some quintessential underdog shit. 这真是标准的小兵立大功
[12:57] Kill them! 杀死他们
[13:08] Yeah! Whoo-hoo! 好耶
[13:09] I-I should’ve told you the truth, Rick. 我应该对你说实话的,瑞克
[13:11] Let’s save the world first. 我们先去拯救地球吧
[13:12] Now, reset those nukes, and let’s turn this canyon into a can’t-yon. 重新启动核弹,把这个峡谷炸烂
[13:18] There usually earthquakes in Arizona? 亚利桑那州会有地震吗?
[13:24] They’re heading for Vegas, 它们正要前往赌城
[13:26] which doestrack on many levels, but why now? 各方面来说都很合理,但为何如此突然?
[13:30] What the? 搞什么?
[13:31] Let’s hear it for Professor Shabooboo and his brilliant egg. 一同为夏布布教授和这卵子欢呼
[13:34] Um, hello? Aren’t you forgetting someone? Oh, good point. -你们没忘记谁吗? -没错
[13:37] Big thanks to the cast of Cirque Du Soleil’s “Zumanity” 也要感谢太阳马戏团人类动物园的演出团队
[13:40] for the impressive and erotic routine. 带来了精彩又情色的表演
[13:42] Mr. President, Rick Sanchez is on the line. 总统先生,瑞克山查兹来电
[13:44] Good. Put that asshole on speaker. 很好,开扩音吧
[13:46] Well, well, well. 真是的
[13:47] No thanks to you, we’re luring the sperm with a giant human egg, even though, 你完全没帮上忙,我们改用巨大人类卵子吸引精子
[13:51] symbolically speaking, Vegas should be enough. 虽然赌城应该就足以吸引精子了
[13:53] A human egg? 人类卵子?
[13:55] Where-where-where did you get it? 那是哪来的?
[13:56] Glad you asked. It’s your granddaughter’s, 问得好,是你孙女的
[13:58] so at least you contributed somethingto this. 所以你至少还有一点贡献
[14:00] Mister President! It’s Morty! 总统先生,我是莫蒂
[14:01] It’s my sperm! I-It’s all mine! 那些精子是我的,都是我的
[14:03] -What?! -I’m a dirty little perverted maniac. -什么? -我是下流的变态
[14:05] I spent a week pleasuring myself with animal equipment, 我一整个星期都用动物设备自慰
[14:07] and my sperm got turned into monsters on accident 我的精子意外变成了怪兽
[14:09] because I kept lying about it because I was ashamed! 因为我一直说谎,因为我很羞愧
[14:12] You should be! 你是该感到羞愧
[14:13] My God, man, we were all 14 once 天啊,我们都年轻气盛过
[14:15] but it’s called self-control. 但你应该要有自制能力
[14:16] Don’t let them reach my sister’s egg, Mr. President! 别让它们碰到我姐的卵子,总统
[14:19] You’ll be making a giant — 不然会变成巨大…
[14:23] Incest baby. 乱伦宝宝
[14:24] What? Who told you that? 什么?谁说的?
[14:25] What? I-I was finishing his sentence. 什么?我只是帮他把话讲完
[14:27] Oh. Right. Come with us. 好,跟我们走
[14:29] The sperm is Morty’s! 精子是莫蒂的
[14:30] We’re about to make a giant incest baby! 我们会做出巨大乱伦宝宝
[14:33] Aw, well, now we’re all in our darkest hour. 真是屋漏偏逢连夜雨
[14:36] Launch the egg! Launch it now! 快发射卵子…
[14:38] B-But that’ll take 30 minutes. -What?! Why?! -要花半小时 -为何?
[14:40] That’s how long every space launch takes! 每次发射火箭都是
[14:42] No one realizes because they only show you the last 10 seconds! 大家都不知道,因为电视只会播最后十秒
[14:46] Uh, uh, help me out here. 帮帮我
[14:47] Hey, it was your idea, right? 嘿,但这是你的点子,对吧?
[14:50] Okay, okay, n-no need to panic, everyone. 好,别慌张,各位
[14:52] I have a simple solution. 我有个办法
[14:54] See you all in hell! 我们地狱见了
[14:57] I don’t see how that’sgoing to help. 这又没帮上忙
[14:59] Form a perimeter! Protect that egg at all costs! 快建立防线,无论如何都要保护那颗卵子
[15:02] I always knew your hormones would cause a world war 我一直都知道你的荷尔蒙
[15:04] between humans and Cannibalistic Horse People. 会引起人类和食人马人间的战争
[15:06] I just didn’t know it would be like this. 但我没想到会是这样
[15:08] I can’t change my nature. 我无法改变我的本性
[15:10] What are you, a scorpion in a Navajo fable? 你是纳瓦荷寓言里的蝎子吗?
[15:12] Everyone can change their nature, Morty. 每个人都能改变本性,莫蒂
[15:13] It’s what defines our species. 所以我们才是人类
[15:15] Look at Iron Man. 看看钢铁人
[15:16] That actor was an animal in the ’90s, 他的演员1990年代时很堕落
[15:18] literally waking up in bushes. 会在树丛中醒来
[15:20] -His agent had to catch him with a butterfly net. -Silence! -他的经纪人还得用补蝶网… -安静
[15:22] Rick Sanchez, you know why you’re here. 瑞克山查兹,你也知道我找你来的原因
[15:25] Yeah, it was my grandson’s fault. 对,是我孙子的错
[15:26] -You slept with my daughter! -I did? -你跟我女儿上了床 -有吗?
[15:28] Oh, shit, I did. 靠,我想起来了
[15:30] Forgive me, Your CHUDness. 请原谅我,大人
[15:31] I’m a changed man starting now. 我会洗心革面
[15:33] You come to the Kingdom of CHUDs for forgiveness? 你竟然是来地马王国请求原谅?
[15:36] CHUDs don’t forgive humans. 地马不会原谅人
[15:38] CHUDs eat humans! 地马只会吃人
[15:40] This is out there, even for us. 我们真的太堕落了
[15:42] They can hear you, Morty. 注意言词,莫蒂
[15:43] Boil him up! Yum, yum! 把他煮熟,真好吃
[15:45] Spice him right! Oh, boy! 添加香料,好棒棒
[15:47] Eat the flesh! Yum, yum! 吃掉人肉,真好吃
[15:49] Not the bones! Oh, no! 不吃骨头,绝不要
[15:51] Belly ache! Ouch, Ouch! 会肚子痛,好痛痛
[15:53] Father! Stop this at once! 父王,快点停手
[15:55] -Princess Poñeta! -You can’t kill Rícko! -波妮塔公主 -你不能杀瑞克
[15:58] I — I love him! 我爱他
[16:01] Right! I-I love you, too, Princess Poñeta. 没错,我也爱你,波妮塔公主
[16:04] This love is forbidden. 这是禁忌之爱
[16:06] My daughter, you are a CHUD. 女儿,你是地马
[16:07] Rick is a human and age-inappropriate. 瑞克是人类,而且年纪差太多了
[16:10] Then you leave me nochoice. 那我就别无选择
[16:12] By the 17th Article of the CHUD-stitution, 依照地马宪法第17条规定
[16:14] I offer Rícko Sanchez horsemunity 我在此赦免瑞克山查兹
[16:17] and demand a equestri-truce between all CHUDs and humans! 并宣告地马与人类停战
[16:22] On what grounds? 凭什么?
[16:25] On the grounds that Rícko is the father of my child. 因为瑞克是我孩子的爸
[16:28] I have an heir. 我有继承人了
[16:29] I have a substance-abuse problem. 我有物质滥用问题
[16:31] The Prophecy has come true! 预言成真了
[16:33] Also, did someone drop a scroll? 另外,是不是有人掉了卷轴?
[16:35] Here we go. Over here. Sorry. 是我,这边,抱歉
[16:41] Where did you get all that? 哪来这么多杀精剂?
[16:43] -It’s Vegas. -Sir! -这里是赌城 -总统
[16:44] The Strip has been evacuated, but I’m worried we won’t be able to hold the perimeter. 赌城大道已经净空了,但我担心会没办法守住防线
[16:47] Then deputize Las Vegas regulars. 那就请长居赌城的人帮忙
[16:49] Everyone’s a patriot today. 今天大家都是爱国者
[16:50] Even me! 连我也是
[16:51] Take three steps back, Amazing Johnathan. 请退后,惊奇的强纳森
[16:53] Men and their guns. Metaphorical and not. 男人满脑子就只有枪
[16:55] Tell me about it. 没错
[16:57] Get ready, boys! The last thing this world needs is a giant incest baby. 做好准备,这个世界可不需要巨大乱伦宝宝
[17:01] -Oorah! Here they come! -Nice! -它们来了 -很好
[17:03] Do not let a single sperm get through to that egg! 不要让任何精子碰到卵子
[17:10] Um, should we be concerned about that scary bomb-laden one? 需要担心身上有炸弹的那个吗?
[17:13] Honey, let the men handle this. 小姐,交给男人就好
[17:14] I think we know a thing or two about — 我们应…
[17:19] Ugh! Ready for all the responsibility 女人得负所有责任
[17:21] with none of the credit? 却没有功劳
[17:23] Let’s Nancy Reagan this bitch. 我们一起效法南西雷根吧
[17:38] Dammit! We can’t stop them. 我们挡不住它们
[17:40] We don’t have the manpower! 我们人力不足
[17:41] What about horsepower? 那马力呢?
[17:44] Sweet Lady Liberty. 我的老天爷啊
[17:46] That sonofamare Rick has ended our centuries-long war with the CHUDs. 瑞克终结了我们和地马的战争
[17:49] -We made peace with the CHUDs! -The CHUDs are our buds! -总算停战了 -地马好棒
[17:54] Rícko! The hoofless — they need us! 瑞克,人类需要我们
[17:56] Let’s do this. CHUDily dudily, ho, ho, ho! 来吧,地马地马好棒棒
[17:59] CHUDily dudily, ho, ho, ho! 地马地马好棒棒
[18:09] Mom, I promise to use condoms, even when it’s butt stuff. 妈,我保证一定会用保险套,就算走后门也是
[18:12] Okay, we have a lot to talk about tonight. 好吧,我们今晚有很多事要谈
[18:34] Is this your heart? 这是你的心脏吗?
[18:36] It’s a play on, “Is this your card?” 我只是在开玩笑
[18:37] You don’t have a heart, 你没有心脏
[18:39] uh, but this is probably some kind of organelle, in charge of pumping endoplasmic reticulum throughout your membrane and therefore, 但这可能是某种负责推动内质网运输物质的细胞器
[18:43] relative to you, functions asa heart. 所以也等同是你的心脏
[18:45] So, I ask you again, is this your heart? 我再问一次,这是你的心脏吗?
[18:49] Morty, look! 莫蒂,你看
[18:51] I won’t just be thrown away, Rick! 我不会就这样被打倒的,瑞克
[18:53] The egg is mine! 那颗卵子是我的
[18:55] Sticky! It’s all you, bud! 黏黏,全靠你了,兄弟
[19:00] Noooo! 不
[19:02] Sticky! 黏黏
[19:05] Fuck! 干
[19:07] -We got a heartbeat. -Screw that! -有心跳了 -管他的
[19:09] That’s a human life, and this is an election cycle. 那是生命,而且现在是选举时期
[19:12] -You have to do something! -Nope. -你得做点什么 -不用
[19:17] It’s space’s problem now. 就交给太空去烦恼吧
[19:19] Oh, this sucks. 真糟糕
[19:21] You’re “Sports Illustrated”‘s Kathy Ireland. 《运动画刊》模特儿凯西爱尔兰
[19:23] You were with my husband, Blazen, when he died. 我先生布雷辰死时你也在场
[19:26] Please tell me… was he wearing my thong? 你说,他有没有穿我的丁字裤?
[19:29] He probably told you not to tell me. 他或许有交代你别跟我说
[19:32] He was ashamed of it, but he didn’t need to be. 他很羞愧,但他不需要觉得羞愧
[19:35] I hope he waswearing it. 真希望他穿着
[19:37] Always be honest. 永远都该说实话
[19:39] Sometimes it will hurt people. 有时会伤害人
[19:41] Sometimes it will help. But always be honest. 有时会帮助人,但永远都该说实话
[19:44] Huh. Yeah, yeah, he — he waswearing it. 对,他有穿
[19:47] Ew! That gross animal pig! 那恶心的变态
[19:50] So, trying to boil this all down, I-I want to say it’s import– 总而言之,我认为…
[19:53] Shut up, Morty, I got my own epilogue. 闭嘴,莫蒂,我自己有准备结语
[19:54] Oh, Rícko, I love you. 瑞克,我爱你
[19:57] Prove it. 证明给我看
[20:00] Oh, I love kissing those big ol’ horse teeth. 我好喜欢亲你的大马牙
[20:02] It’s like lickin’ tile. 就像在舔瓷砖一样
[20:04] Oh! I swear… it’s time someone made an honest man out of me. 我决定要为了你而定下来
[20:08] Whatever you need, the whole nine yards, you got it. 无论你需要什么,我都会做到
[20:11] The thing is, Rícko… it’s time. 可是瑞克,时候到了
[20:13] Oh, shit, oh, shit. It’s time! 靠,时候到了
[20:15] Oh, my God, it’s wonderful. 天啊,太棒了
[20:21] Oh, wow. So we don’t have to, you know, r-raise it? 天啊,我们不用扶养孩子吗?
[20:25] Nah. They’re ready to go right out of the box. 不用,孩子一出生就能自理
[20:27] Cool, cool. So…bye? 真棒,那就再见了吗?
[20:29] Yep. Take care of yourself, Rick. 对,保重,瑞克
[20:31] Yep. Same. 你也是
[20:37] That was easy. 还真轻松
[21:10] Houston, permission to open the starboard panel. 休士顿,请授权开启右侧面版
[21:12] Permission granted. 授权通过
[21:13] Firing breach now. 开启中
[21:16] Explorer, our readouts show a pressure spike. 探索者,我们侦测到压力增加
[21:19] Everything alright? 有什么问题吗?
[21:20] Honestly, sometimes staring back at Earth 说实话,我有时候看着地球
[21:23] makes me think about the people I left behind — 会想起我抛下的那些人
[21:26] my wife, the son she had to anchor me there. 我老婆,她为了绑住我生的儿子
[21:29] I tried to be a parent, I really did, 我曾试图当个好爸爸,是真的
[21:31] but I’ve come to find I’m only suited to be a spaceman. 但我发现自己只适合当太空人
[21:34] The nicest part of being up here is there are no reminders of the guilt I sometimes feel about abandoning my family. 在这里的好处就是没有东西会让我想起我抛下家人的内疚感
[21:42] Sorry, Houston, I thought I heard something. 抱歉,休士顿,我好像听到了什么声音
[21:44] Negative on our end. 不是我们这边的声音
[21:46] No, wait, there’s something big 不,等等,有个巨大的物体
[21:47] and it’s coming right at you!Goo, goo, gah, gah. 而且正在靠近你
[21:49] Dear God. No! You can’t be real! 天啊,不,不可能是真的
[21:52] Explorer, what is it? What the hell do you see?! 探索者,是什么?你看到什么?
[21:55] My conscience. 我的良知
[21:56] Explorer! Explorer! Aaah! 探索者
[21:58] Are you there? Aaaaaah! 你还在吗?
[22:00] Geez. Not gonna miss that guy. Aaaaah! 天啊,我不会想念他的
[22:02] -Right? -So dramatic. -对吧? -他戏真多
瑞克和莫蒂

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点击预览定制截图

瑞克和莫蒂(Rick and Morty)剧集台词目录:
S01E01
S01E02
S01E03
S01E04
S01E05
S01E06
S01E07
S01E08
S01E09
S01E10
S01E11
S02E01
S02E02
S02E03
S02E04
S02E05
S02E06
S02E07
S02E08
S02E09
S02E10
S03E01
S03E02
S03E03
S03E04
S03E05
S03E06
S03E07
S03E08
S03E09
S03E10
S04E01
S04E02
S04E03
S04E04
S04E05
S04E06
S04E07
S04E08
S04E09
S04E10
S05E01
S05E02
S05E03
S05E04
S05E05
S05E06
S05E07
S05E08
S05E09
S05E10
S06E01
S06E02
S06E03
S06E04
S06E05
S06E06
S06E07
S06E08
S06E09
S06E10
S07E01
S07E02
S07E03
S07E04
S07E05
S07E06
S07E07
S07E08
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