时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:02] | It’s hard to find a store in a mall. They have a directory… | 我们很难在商场中去寻找某个店铺 尽管那儿有指示路牌… |
[00:06] | …but the problem with it is, even if you figure out where you are… | 但是随之而来的问题是 即使你弄明白你在哪儿 |
[00:09] | …and where you wanna go… | 以及你想要去哪儿 |
[00:11] | …you still don’t really know, sometimes, which way to walk.. | 有时候你仍然没有真正弄清楚 该走哪条路 |
[00:14] | …because it’s an upright map. | 因为这是一个竖直地图 |
[00:16] | If you had, like, suction-cup feet, then you could just walk right up on it. | 假设你有像吸盘一样的双脚 你才能勉强在上面行走 |
[00:20] | Then you could tell, you could be on it going, “All right, I’m here. | 然后你可以说,你能在上面行走 “好,我在这儿” |
[00:24] | I wanna go to the Gap. That’s down there. | “我想去盖普(美国最大服装零售店) 它就在下边” |
[00:26] | All right, I’ll just walk that way. “ | “那好,我就从那条路过去” |
[00:31] | But people would know. They would see you walking down the mall going: | 但人们会知道 他们会看到你沿着商店向下走 |
[00:36] | They’d go, “That’s one of those suction-cup guys. | 他们会说 “那就是那些吸盘人之一” |
[00:38] | I heard about that guy. He’s never lost. “ | “我听说过那家伙 他从不迷路” |
[00:46] | One left. What a joke. | 剩最后一台了 真不像话 |
[00:47] | -You can have this one. -That’s not enough BTUs… | – 你可以要这台 – 对我的客厅而言 |
[00:50] | …for my living room. This was a waste of time. | – 这台瓦数不够 – 完全是在浪费时间 |
[00:52] | I didn’t get one either. | 我也没买到空调 |
[00:54] | Why do I always have the feeling… | 为什么我总是有这种感觉 |
[00:55] | …everybody’s doing something better than me on Saturdays? | 任何人在星期六干的事 都比我要舒服 |
[00:58] | -This is what people do. -No, they don’t. | – 这就是他们干的事 – 不,才不是 |
[01:00] | They’re out on some big picnic, they’re cooking burgers… | 他们出去参加集体野餐 他们烤汉堡 |
[01:03] | …making out on blankets. | 在毯子上鬼混 |
[01:05] | They’re not at some mall in Jersey… | 他们不会在泽西城的某个商场里 |
[01:06] | …watching their friends trying to find the world’s cheapest air conditioner. | 观看他们的朋友们试图去淘 世上最便宜的空调 |
[01:10] | You should see what my father used to do before he bought a new car. | 你应该看看我父亲 在买新车之前曾经都做些什么 |
[01:13] | He’d go from state to state. He was away for weeks at a time. | 他会从一个州到另一个州 他出去一次就好几个星期 |
[01:16] | Like he’s running for president and going through the primaries. | 像他正竞选总统似的 经历着初选 |
[01:19] | We’d get phone calls from New Hampshire. | 我们会接到电话 从新汉普郡打过来的 |
[01:21] | We took a little ride, what’s the big deal? | 我们只是出去逛了逛 有什么大不了的? |
[01:23] | At least you accomplished something. You got fish. | 至少你还完成了件事 你买了鱼 |
[01:25] | Oh, big accomplishment. | 哦,真是个大事 |
[01:27] | Fish. What do they do? | 鱼,它们在干嘛? |
[01:29] | -What do you do? -Hey, this way! | – 你干嘛? – 嗨,这边走! |
[01:33] | Jerry, what time do you have? | 杰瑞,你表几点了? |
[01:35] | I have 5:00. | 我的是5:00 |
[01:37] | -Always late. Always late. -You’re not late. | – 总是迟到,总是迟到 – 你没迟到 |
[01:40] | I told them to meet me in front of my building at 6:15. | 我告诉过他们 6:15在我楼前跟我见面 |
[01:43] | -Who? -My parents. It’s their anniversary. | – 谁? – 我父母,今天是他们周年纪念日 |
[01:46] | I’m taking them out to dinner and a show tonight. | 今晚我准备带他们出去吃饭 然后看表演 |
[01:48] | -Think we’ll hit traffic? -Of course. It’s rush hour. | – 有没想过我们会碰上堵车? – 当然,现在是高峰时段 |
[01:51] | -Isn’t it the other way? -There’s no other way. | – 有没有其他的路? – 仅此一条 |
[01:53] | Everybody goes every way all the time. | 始终是每条路都很多人 |
[01:55] | -But it’s Saturday. -You got the picnic and burger traffic. | – 但今天星期六 – 你会碰上野餐和烤汉堡车流了 |
[01:58] | -There’s picnic traffic? -As my grandfather used to say: | – 有野餐流吗? – 正像我祖父曾说的: |
[02:00] | “Sometimes even a picnic’s no picnic.” | “有时候甚至野餐 并不是野餐” |
[02:03] | I always get myself in this position. Can’t be on time. Gotta rush. | 我总是让自己陷入这种状况 不能准时,弄得很仓促 |
[02:08] | What’s the matter? | 怎么了? |
[02:13] | I have to go to the bathroom. | 我得去一趟卫生间 |
[02:15] | Why do they hide the bathrooms in these malls? | 他们为什么把卫生间 都藏在这些商场里? |
[02:18] | -You want me to help you with that? -No, I got it. | – 你要我帮你抬抬吗? – 不用,我能应付 |
[02:25] | What do you think, Georgie boy? | 觉得怎么样,乔治小子? |
[02:29] | Did I need that pointed out for me? | 我需要你给我指出来吗? |
[02:31] | What is that gonna do for me? How does that help me, to see her? | 这能让我做什么? 这怎么能帮上我,去看看她? |
[02:34] | I’m trying to live my life. Don’t show me that. | 我正试图过自己的生活 别给我指那玩意儿 |
[02:37] | Well, if you like her, go and talk to her. | 哦,如果你喜欢她 过去跟她聊聊 |
[02:39] | Yeah, women love to get approached in parking garages. | 对,在停车库里 女人喜欢与人亲近 |
[02:41] | I’ll go up and say, ” Hi, how you doing? Would you like a glass of white wine?” | 我会走过去说 “嗨,你好,想来杯白酒吗?” |
[02:45] | You get within 15 feet, she’d have her finger on the Mace button. | 你靠近到4、5米内,她就会 把指头按在喷雾器按钮上了 |
[02:48] | That was a guy. | 那是男人 |
[02:50] | -That was a guy? -Where’s the car? | – 那是男人? – 车在哪儿? |
[02:53] | Well, I thought it was here. | 哦,我原以为在这儿 |
[02:55] | You don’t know where we parked? | 你不知道我们停哪儿了? |
[02:58] | -Oh, this is great. -Look, I thought it was Green 22. | – 哦,太棒了 – 瞧,我原以为是绿色22号 |
[03:02] | I remember Orange. I thought it was Orange. | 我记得橙色 我认为是橙色 |
[03:04] | -I didn’t pay attention. -This is just what I need. | – 我没留心过 – 这就是我所要的 |
[03:07] | I’m sure it’s right around here. | 我可以肯定就在这周围 |
[03:09] | Yeah, it looks familiar. I remember the elevator. | 是,这看起来很熟 我记得那个电梯 |
[03:11] | There’s elevators all over! Everything looks the same! | 这儿到处都有电梯! 所有东西看起来都一样! |
[03:15] | We’re like rats in some experiment. | 我们就像有些试验中的老鼠 |
[03:18] | It’s over there. I know where it is. | 在那儿,我知道在哪儿了 |
[03:21] | -It’s black, right? -Well, it’s dark brown. | – 是黑色的,对吗? – 哦,是深棕色 |
[03:24] | In a parking lot, you write it down. How hard is that? | 在停车处时,你把它写下来 那有什么难的呢? |
[03:27] | There it is. | 在这儿 |
[03:28] | No, no. | 不,不 |
[03:30] | That’s a Toyota. | 那是辆丰田 |
[03:34] | -I thought it was… -Hey, didn’t we come in over there? | – 我还以为… – 嘿,我们是从那边进来的吗? |
[03:38] | I thought we came in over there. | 我想我们从那边进来的 |
[03:41] | How long can fish live in one of these plastic bags? | 鱼能在塑料袋里活多久? |
[03:44] | I don’t know. Maybe two hours. | 不知道,也许两小时 |
[03:47] | You better find this car. | 你最好把车找到 |
[03:49] | Let’s try this way. | 我们到这边试试 |
[03:51] | I really have to go to the bathroom. | 我真的得去一趟卫生间 |
[03:55] | Why don’t you just go behind one of these cars. | 你为什么不到 这些车后面解决一下? |
[03:58] | -Why? There’s nobody around. -I’ll wait. | – 为什么?这周围没人 – 我再忍忍 |
[04:01] | You hold it in like that, you can cause a lot of damage to your bladder. | 你这样憋着,会对你的膀胱 产生极大的损伤 |
[04:05] | That’s what happens to truck drivers. | 卡车司机们就发生过这种事 |
[04:07] | They hold it in all the time and eventually… | 他们一直憋着,最后… |
[04:09] | …it starts to come out involuntarily. -All right. | – 不知不觉就流出来了 – 够了 |
[04:12] | Jerry, are you aware that adult diapers are a $600-million-a-year industry? | 杰瑞,你有没有意识到成人尿布 是个每年600百万美元的产业? |
[04:17] | Maybe I should just go any time I get the urge, | 也许每当有欲望时我就该立马解决 |
[04:19] | like you, wherever I am. | 像你一样,不管我在哪儿 |
[04:20] | There’s too much urinary freedom in this society. I’m proud to hold it in. | 社会上有太多自由小便主义 忍着让我觉得很自豪 |
[04:24] | It builds character. | 这很有性格 |
[04:25] | -Is that it? -No. | – 是那辆吗? – 不是 |
[04:28] | Hey! Watch it! | 嘿!小心点! |
[04:30] | Maniac. | 疯子 |
[04:34] | You sure you don’t want help with that? | 你确定不要我帮你抬? |
[04:36] | I’m gonna put it down behind that car. | 我准备把它放在那辆车后面 |
[04:39] | Worried somebody’s gonna pee on it? | 不怕有人在上面撒尿? |
[04:47] | -It’s Purple 23. Remember that. -Oh, I got it. | – 这是紫色23号,记住 – 哦,我记住了 |
[04:51] | That I’m supposed to remember. Where the car is, that’s insignificant. | 那是我应该记得的 至于车在哪儿,已经不重要了 |
[04:55] | I think they’re labouring. | 我想它们游得很费力了 |
[04:57] | Look at this place! It’s huge! | 看看这块地方!真大! |
[05:03] | All right, let me say this to you: | 好,我跟你讲 |
[05:05] | If I am not in front of my building at 6:15, when my parents get there… | 如果6:15我不在我家楼下 当我父母到那后 |
[05:09] | …they’re gonna put me on an aggravation instalment plan… | 他们将会分期向我宣泄 他们的愤怒 |
[05:12] | …that will compound, with interest, for decades. | 那将是连本带利的 持续好几十年 |
[05:14] | Parents never forget a foul-up. | 父母们从不忘记 因粗心而犯的大错 |
[05:16] | I once left my jacket on a bus when I was 14. | 我14岁的时候 曾经把夹克落在公交车上 |
[05:19] | I was flying to Chicago, last week, on a plane: | 我飞往芝加哥,就在上星期 在飞机上 |
[05:22] | “Make sure you hang on to your jacket.” | “确定你把你的夹克看好” |
[05:24] | There’s no way you can call them? | 你没办法给他们打电话吗? |
[05:25] | -Yeah, I’ll call them on their car phone. -What would it take… | – 是,我会打他们的车载电话 – 他父母怎么会… |
[05:28] | …for his parents to get a car phone? -Hypnosis by aliens. | – 有车载电话? – 被外星人催眠了 |
[05:31] | -Where the hell is this car, Kramer? -We need a system. | 这该死的车在哪儿,克莱默? 我们需要组织性 |
[05:34] | Well, it’s gotta be here. | 哦,应该是在这儿 |
[05:36] | Why are they using so many colours? | 为什么他们用这么多颜色? |
[05:38] | The numbers go up to 40. | 数字都到40了 |
[05:41] | Maybe it’s not on this level. | 也许不是在这层上 |
[05:45] | -What? -There’s four different levels. | – 什么? – 这儿有四层 |
[05:47] | Maybe we’re on the wrong level. | 也许我们搞错层了 |
[05:49] | -How long was the escalator ride up? -It felt like a couple of levels. | – 电梯乘了多久? – 我感觉过了好几层 |
[05:52] | You should always bring a pad and a pen. | 你应该经常带个便笺和笔 |
[05:55] | I can’t carry a pen. I’m afraid I’ll puncture my scrotum. | 我不能带笔 我担心我会刺破我的阴囊 |
[05:57] | I got a pen. | 我带笔了 |
[05:59] | Where is the bathroom in this mall? | 这商场的卫生间在哪儿? |
[06:01] | There’s 600 stores, I didn’t see one bathroom. | 这儿有600家店铺 我就没看到一个卫生间 |
[06:04] | What is this, like, a joke? | 这像什么话,开玩笑吧? |
[06:05] | Don’t they consult with a urologist when they build one of these places? | 难道他们造这些地方的时候 就没有咨询过泌尿科医生? |
[06:12] | -What’s with you? -My ear itches. | – 你怎么了? – 我耳朵痒 |
[06:14] | Don’t you dare talk to me like that, you hear me? | 你竟敢那样跟我讲话 听到了没? |
[06:17] | I told you, I don’t care! You’ll have to wait! | 我告诉过你,我不管 你必须等着! |
[06:21] | Hey, hey, is that really necessary? | 嘿,嘿,真有那个必要吗? |
[06:23] | Why don’t you mind your own business. | 你管好你自己的事就行了 |
[06:26] | Well, I think hitting a defenceless child is my business. | 哦,我认为打一个 毫无抵抗力的孩子关我的事 |
[06:29] | -You’re ugly. -What? | – 你很难看 – 什么? |
[06:31] | -You’re ugly. -You are. | – 你很难看 – 你才是 |
[06:33] | -You are. -That’s what you think. | – 你才是 – 那是你所想的 |
[06:35] | That’s what I know. | – 那就是我所知道的 |
[06:42] | -I found it! -He’s got it! | – 我找到了! – 他找到了! |
[06:47] | -No, no, no. -All right, that’s it. | – 不,不,不 – 够了,这样 |
[06:50] | From now on, no more calling out “I found it” unless we’re sitting in it. | 从现在开始,别再喊“我找到了” 除非我们已经坐在车里了,行吗? |
[06:54] | Jerry, look at my fish. | 杰瑞,看看我的鱼 |
[06:56] | -His eyes look a little cloudy. -See? | – 他的眼睛看起来有点阴沉 – 看见了? |
[06:58] | Oh, those are your eyes. | 哦,那是你的眼睛 |
[07:01] | Oh, they are gonna be furious. | 唉,他们肯定要狂怒了 |
[07:02] | -Who’s got the tickets? -I do. | – 谁拿着票? – 我拿着 |
[07:04] | I thought you knew this mall. | 我还以为你对这个商店很熟 |
[07:06] | -You said you’d been here. -It was easy last time. | – 你说过你来过这儿 – 上次比较容易 |
[07:08] | Okay, my fish are dying right in front of me. | 好了,我的鱼就要死在我面前了 |
[07:10] | We’ve gotta get someone to drive us around to us help look for the car. | 我们必须找个人开车 载我们到周围去找车 |
[07:14] | No one’s gonna do that. | 没有人会那么做 |
[07:17] | Excuse me. Hi. | 打扰了,嗨 |
[07:19] | We can’t seem to find our car. I was wondering if it would be possible… | 我们似乎找不到我们的车了 我想知道你们能否… |
[07:23] | …to drive us around the garage for five minutes so we can look. | 用5分钟载我们绕车库找找 |
[07:26] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
[07:29] | -Just five minutes. -Can’t do it. | – 就5分钟 – 不行 |
[07:31] | We’re not skinheads. | 我们又不是光头党 |
[07:38] | Excuse me. I can’t seem to find my car. | 打扰一下 我似乎找不到我的车了 |
[07:41] | Do you think you could drive me…? | 你们能不能开车带我… |
[07:44] | Oh, that’s funny? Is that funny? | 哦,这么好笑吗?真的好笑吗? |
[07:47] | Hey, tell me if you think this is funny | 嘿,告诉我 你们是否觉得这很好笑? |
[07:49] | These fish are dying. | 这些鱼就要死了 |
[07:53] | In an hour they’ll be belly-up! | 再过一个小时它们就翻白肚了! |
[07:57] | Excuse me. | 打扰一下 |
[08:01] | Hey, sorry to have disturbed you. Terribly sorry. | 嘿,抱歉打扰一下 非常对不起 |
[08:05] | But the fish will be dead! You do know that? | 但这鱼马上就要死了! 你肯定知道吧? |
[08:08] | They can’t live in plastic. | 它们在塑料里面没法活 |
[08:10] | That’s not me talking, that’s science! | 那不是我说的,那是科学! |
[08:14] | It’s amazing how shopping makes me have to go. | 购物使我必须方便真让人惊讶 |
[08:17] | How does my bladder know I’m in a department store? | 我膀胱怎么会知道 我在一个百货公司? |
[08:20] | Why don’t you just go. | 你为什么还不赶紧去? |
[08:22] | No, I can’t. | 不,我不能 |
[08:24] | -Don’t you get tired of following rules? -You think I’m too cautious? | – 你难道没有厌倦遵守规定吗? – 你觉得我太谨小慎微? |
[08:27] | Why be uncomfortable if you don’t have to? | 如果你不是的话 为什么会这么不舒服? |
[08:30] | -It’s organic. -Organic. So is Buddy Hackett. | – 这是人之本能 – 人之本能,巴迪・哈克特也这样 |
[08:33] | -Buddy Hackett? -He’s a comedian. | – 巴迪・哈克特? – 他是个喜剧演员 |
[08:35] | I know. | 我知道 |
[08:37] | -All right, all right. -Hey, you can go over here. | – 好吧,好吧 – 嘿,你可以去那边 |
[08:42] | I can manage. | 我能搞定 |
[08:46] | George! | 乔治! |
[08:57] | -Okay, let’s go. -But… | – 好,我们走 – 但… |
[08:59] | Come on. | 快点 |
[09:00] | Kramer. | 克莱默 |
[09:07] | I’m telling you, I’ve had this condition since I was 11 years old. | 我告诉你 我11岁就得了这种病 |
[09:10] | I’ve been in and out of hospitals my whole life. | 我这一辈子 都在医院里进进出出 |
[09:12] | I have no control over it. | 我没法控制 |
[09:14] | Doctors have told me that when I feel it… | 医生们告诉过我一旦我有尿意 |
[09:17] | …the best thing to do is just release it. | 最好马上就撒 |
[09:19] | Otherwise… | 否则… |
[09:21] | …I could die. | 我就会死 |
[09:23] | Do you hear what I’m saying to you? | 你听到我在说什么吗? |
[09:25] | I’m telling you that if I don’t go, I could die. | 我是在告诉你如果我不方便 我就会死 |
[09:28] | Die! Is it worth dying for? | 死! 值得为这种事情而死吗? |
[09:31] | -That’s up to you. -Oh, so you don’t care if I die. | – 那取决于你 – 哦,看来你不在乎我的死活 |
[09:35] | What I care about is the sanitary condition of the parking facility. | 我在乎的只是 停车场设施的卫生状况 |
[09:38] | Why would I do it unless I was in mortal danger? | 如果不是处于致命危险中 我会这么做吗? |
[09:41] | -I know it’s against the law. -I don’t know. | – 我知道这违法了 – 我不知道 |
[09:43] | Because I could get “uromysitisis” poisoning and die, that’s why. | 因为我会患“憋尿症”中毒而死 那就是为什么 |
[09:48] | You think I enjoy living like this? | 你以为我乐意像这样活着吗? |
[09:51] | The shame? The humiliation? | 可耻?羞愧? |
[09:53] | You know, I’ve been issued a public urination pass… | 你知道吗,因为这种病 |
[09:56] | …by the city because of my condition. | 我获得了市里的 公共场合撒尿许可证 |
[09:58] | Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. | 不幸的是,我弟弟今天早上 拿着它从房间里跑了 |
[10:01] | Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the place. | 他和他朋友们也许正到处撒尿呢 |
[10:04] | Jerry! | 杰瑞! |
[10:08] | Jerry! | 杰瑞! |
[10:11] | Unbelievable. | 难以置信 |
[10:13] | I’m never gonna get out of here. | 我再也离不开这儿了 |
[10:16] | Guy goes to pee, he never comes back. | 这家伙去撒个尿 就再也回不来了 |
[10:17] | It’s like a science-fiction story. | 像科幻小说中的情节 |
[10:20] | Maybe he went to one of the other levels. | 也许他去其他层了 |
[10:22] | -I’m gonna look for him. -Now you’re gonna go? | – 我要去找他 – 现在你就要去? |
[10:24] | -Be back in five minutes. -Lf you go now… | – 五分钟后回来 – 如果你现在走了 |
[10:26] | …we’ll find the car, Jerry will show up and we’ll never find you! | 要是我们找到车,杰瑞也出现了 而我们就找不到你了! |
[10:30] | I’ll be right back. | 我马上就回 |
[10:33] | What’s the difference? We’ll all be dead eventually. | 有什么区别? 我们最终都会死掉 |
[10:37] | Does that bother you? | 让你很烦吗? |
[10:40] | Yeah, it bothers me. | 是的,很烦 |
[10:42] | -Doesn’t it bother you? -Not at all. | – 你不烦吗? – 一点儿也不 |
[10:45] | Now, that bothers me even more than dying bothers me. | 现在,这甚至比死还烦人 |
[10:48] | Because people like you live to be 120… | 因为像你这样的人会活到120岁 |
[10:50] | …because you’re not bothered by it. | 因为你不会为此而烦恼 |
[10:52] | How can it not bother you? | 你怎么会不烦呢? |
[10:54] | Well, I once saw this thing on TV with people who are terminally ill. | 哦,我曾经在电视上看过 那些处于疾病晚期的人 |
[10:58] | Every one of them believed that the secret of life… | 他们中的每一个人都相信 生命的奥秘… |
[11:00] | …is just to live every moment. | 就是享受生命中的每一刻 |
[11:02] | Yeah, I’ve heard that. | 是,我听说过 |
[11:04] | Meanwhile, I’m here with you in a parking garage in Jersey. | 此时,我和你在泽西城的 一个停车库里 |
[11:09] | That’s a nice jacket. Where’d you get that? | 不错的夹克 从哪儿弄的? |
[11:11] | Some guy left it over at my mother’s house. | 有个家伙把它丢在了我妈家里了 |
[11:14] | First of all, you don’t even know, technically, that I went. | 首先,你还不知道 表面上,我是在方便 |
[11:18] | That’s for starters. | 这作为开始 |
[11:20] | I mean, I could have been pouring a bottle of water out there. | 我的意思是 我可能是把一瓶水倒在那儿 |
[11:23] | -I know what you did. -Oh, really? Do you? Well… | – 我清楚你做了什么 – 哦,真的吗?你清楚?好… |
[11:26] | …it just so happens that I did pour water out. | 碰巧当时我正是在倒水 |
[11:29] | I had a bottle of very tepid water and I poured it out. | 我有一瓶温水 然后我倒掉了 |
[11:32] | I could see how you made a mistake… | 我明白你是怎么弄错的 |
[11:34] | …because pouring water out sounds very much like a person urinating. | 因为倒水的声音 和人撒尿的声音很像 |
[11:38] | And, you know, when you think about it… | 而且,你知道 当你回想时 |
[11:40] | …it’s really quite an amusing case of mistaken identity. | 这真是一个非常有趣的 关于抓错人的案子 |
[11:44] | And that’s all it is. | 就是这么回事 |
[11:46] | And now he’s gone. I’m sure he’s looking for the car. | 现在他不见了 我确定他正在找车 |
[11:49] | Five minutes, that’s all. I just wanna find him. | 5分钟就可以了 我只是想找到他 |
[11:51] | -I can’t do it. -But why? Why can’t you do it? | – 我帮不了你 – 但是为什么?为什么不行? |
[11:54] | I can’t. | 不行 |
[11:55] | That’s not a reason, “You can’t.” You just don’t want to. | “不行”不是个理由 你只是不想 |
[11:58] | That’s right. | 没错 |
[12:00] | But why? Why don’t you want to? | 但是为什么?你为什么不想? |
[12:02] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
[12:04] | Well, wouldn’t you get any satisfaction out of helping someone out? | 你不会从帮助别人过程中 获得一些满足感吗? |
[12:08] | No, I wouldn’t. | 不,我不会 |
[12:17] | All right. All right. | 好,好 |
[12:19] | I… I want to apologize. | 我…我要道歉 |
[12:22] | I was frightened. | 我害怕了 |
[12:23] | I said crazy things, I obviously offended you… | 我说了一些离谱的事情 我明显冒犯了你 |
[12:26] | …I insulted your intelligence. | 我侮辱了你的智商 |
[12:28] | The uromysitisis, the water bottle… | “憋尿症”、水瓶… |
[12:31] | …I made all that up. | 那都是我编的 |
[12:33] | And now I’m gonna tell you the truth. | 现在我想告诉你真相 |
[12:37] | Today my parents are celebrating… | 今天我父母正庆祝… |
[12:39] | …their 50th… Well, I’m jumping ahead here. | 他们的50周年… 哦,我说多了 |
[12:43] | Their 47th wedding anniversary. | 他们的47周年结婚纪念日 |
[12:45] | And we made plans to spend the evening together. | 我们计划今晚一起渡过 |
[12:49] | They’re meeting me in front of my building at 6:15. | 他们6:15在我家楼前和我会面 |
[12:52] | What I haven’t told you… | 就此而言,我还没告诉你… |
[12:54] | …or anyone else, for that matter… | 或其他人的是… |
[12:58] | …is that my father’s been in a Red Chinese prison… | 我爸在红色中国的监狱 |
[13:00] | …for the past 14 years. | 已经关了14年 |
[13:03] | I mean, the guy had a fat fetish. | 我的意思是 那家伙崇拜肥胖 |
[13:05] | The inspector never dated a woman under 250 pounds. | 检查员从不 和250磅以下的女人约会 |
[13:08] | -Really. -What did he do with all that fat? | – 真的吗? – 他能对那堆肥肉做什么呢? |
[13:12] | Does he just jump up and down on it? | 他就在上面跳上跳下吗? |
[13:14] | Or does he gouge it like Killer Kowalski? | 或者他像科勒・科瓦尔斯基 在上面挖洞? |
[13:17] | -Who’s Killer Kowalski? -He was a wrestler. | – 科勒・科瓦尔斯基是谁? – 一名摔跤运动员 |
[13:19] | He would get down on his knees… | 他会屈膝下跪 |
[13:21] | …and he’d grab ahold of someone’s stomach… | 然后抓住对手的腹部 |
[13:23] | …and squeeze it till they gave. | 接着拼命挤压直到他们精疲力竭 |
[13:25] | Hey, hey, hey. I have to go to the bathroom. | 嘿,嘿,嘿 我得去一趟卫生间 |
[13:28] | Why don’t you just go. | 那你还不赶紧去? |
[13:30] | What, here? | 什么,这里? |
[13:32] | You and Jerry. It’s… | 你和杰瑞,都… |
[13:36] | Okay. | 好 |
[13:38] | All right, I’m gonna go down this row. | 好,我准备沿着这排过去 |
[13:52] | What? What did I do? I didn’t do anything. | 怎么了?我做什么了? 我什么都没做 |
[13:56] | Kramer! Kramer! | 克莱默!克莱默! |
[14:00] | What? Don’t you believe me? It’s their 47th anniversary. | 什么?难道你不相信我? 今天是他们47周年结婚纪念日 |
[14:06] | You know, this is gonna kill them. | 你知道的,这将会急死他们 |
[14:08] | You’re aware of that? Kill them. | 你没有意识到吗?急死他们 |
[14:10] | On the biggest night of their life. | 在他们这辈子最伟大的夜晚 |
[14:12] | Your folks have an anniversary today too? | 你兄弟今天也遇上 结婚周年纪念日? |
[14:17] | Was your father also in a Red Chinese prison? | 你父亲也在红色中国的监狱里? |
[14:20] | Red Chinese prison? | 红色中国的监狱? |
[14:24] | George! | 乔治! |
[14:30] | Jerry! | 杰瑞! |
[14:33] | Jerry! | 杰瑞! |
[14:37] | You know when you’re walking with someone… | 你知道当你和某人一起走路的时候 |
[14:40] | …and you assume that they know where the car is? | 你确定他们知道车停在哪儿? |
[14:43] | And you’re fine until you see them do this move. Once they do this: | 直到你看到他们做这个动作 一旦他们这样做 |
[14:51] | When they look back from where they came from… | 当他们回头看他们来的地方时 |
[14:55] | No, you’re in bad shape now. | 不,你现在情况不妙 |
[14:56] | Nobody that knows where they’re going does that. | 人们不知道何去何从时就这么做 |
[14:59] | Pilots on planes don’t open the cockpit door and go: | 飞机上的飞行员 不会打开座舱门说: |
[15:05] | Well, what happened was… | 哦,实际情况是… |
[15:07] | …my father was staying with one of China’s great military leaders… | 我父亲和一位中国伟大军官… 张将军在一起 |
[15:10] | …General Chang, who, by the way, came up with the recipe… | 顺边提一下,就是我父亲 给张将军提供了做鸡秘方 |
[15:13] | …for General Chang’s chicken. The one with red pepper and orange peel… | 你知道四川菜园里的 红辣椒和桔子皮吗? |
[15:16] | …at Szechwan Gardens? -I eat it all the time. Spicy. | 我一直都在吃,辣得很刺激 |
[15:19] | Apparently, General Chang is a flamboyant man. | 显然张将军是个浮夸的人 |
[15:21] | Complete failure as a general, but a hell of a cook. | 当将军完全是失败 但做厨师不错 |
[15:25] | Look at this. | 看看 |
[15:27] | Look at this. Will you look at this? | 看看,你看见了吗? |
[15:29] | He doesn’t have enough with the Mercedes, he has to have two spaces. | 有奔驰他还嫌不够 他要占两个停车位 |
[15:33] | I tell you, you know what I’d like to do? I’d like to spit on it. | 我跟你讲,你知道我想干嘛吗? 我想朝上面吐口唾液 |
[15:36] | I would like to see that. | 我倒想看看 |
[15:38] | -Should I? Should I do it? -Teach him a lesson he’ll never forget. | – 我应该吗?我应该这么做吗? – 给他上一节永生难忘的课 |
[15:41] | -Who does he think he is? -Someone’s gotta stop him. | – 他以为他是谁? – 必须有人去阻止他 |
[15:44] | -It’s against the law, isn’t it? -Well, it certainly should be. | – 这违法,对不对? – 哦,当然算是 |
[15:48] | Okay. | 好 |
[15:52] | This is some machine. | 真是部好车 |
[15:55] | Leave it to the Germans. | 留给德国人去吧 |
[15:58] | Let me ask you something. | 我问你个事 |
[16:00] | What do they get for a tune-up on this? | 这车是怎么预热的? |
[16:05] | -Jerry! -Elaine! | – 杰瑞! – 伊莲! |
[16:07] | Where have you been? | 你去哪儿了? |
[16:08] | -I was arrested for urinating. -Me too. | – 我因撒尿被逮了 – 我也是 |
[16:11] | -You what? -I have uromysitisis. | – 你们怎么? – 我患有“憋尿症” |
[16:13] | It’s very serious, you know. | 这很严重,你知道的 |
[16:15] | Jerry, look at my fish. | 杰瑞,看我的鱼 |
[16:17] | -Is he…? -No, but he’s not looking good. | – 他…? – 不,但是他看起来不太好 |
[16:22] | Please. We can’t find our car. | 求求你们,我们找不到我们的车了 |
[16:25] | Please, just drive us around the parking lot to find our car. | 求求你们,就开车带我们 到停车库周围找找我们的车吧 |
[16:28] | -My fish are dying. -Sorry. Can’t do it. | – 我的鱼就要死了 – 对不起,不行 |
[16:31] | I can see not caring what happens to us. We’re human. | 我能理解你们不在乎我们 我们是人类 |
[16:34] | But what about the fish? The fish? | 但是鱼怎么办?鱼? |
[16:37] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
[16:39] | That’s right, go. | 就这样吧,去吧! |
[16:40] | Go home to your dumbbells. | 回家练你的哑铃去 |
[16:42] | Go work on your pecs and your lats. We’re all really impressed. | 去练你们的胸肌和背肌吧 真让我们大家印象深刻 |
[16:47] | Yeah, that’s right. You heard me. | 哦,没错,你们听到了 |
[16:49] | -You got a problem with that? -Elaine, shut up. | – 你对此有问题吗? – 伊莲,别说了 |
[16:54] | Don’t worry, I’m packing heat. | 别担心,我带枪了 |
[16:57] | Hey, hey. Where’s Kramer? | 嘿,嘿,克莱默在哪儿? |
[16:59] | -I don’t know. -I thought he was with you. | – 我不知道 – 我原以为他跟你在一起 |
[17:01] | Oh, see? See? I knew this was gonna happen. | 哦,看到没?看到没? 我早就知道会发生这种事情 |
[17:03] | Look at the time. All right, that’s it. | 看看时间,好吧,只能这样了 |
[17:05] | Did we look over there? We check that side? | 我们看过那边了吗? 我们检查那边了吗? |
[17:07] | -We came in over there. -We didn’t come in over there. | – 我们从那边进来的 – 我们不是从那边进来的 |
[17:09] | -Where’s Kramer? -Look at these cars… | – 克莱默在哪儿? – 看看这些车 |
[17:11] | …they all look exactly alike. | 他们看起来几乎都一个样 |
[17:16] | The fumes. | 熏死了 |
[17:18] | I can’t breathe. | 我没法呼吸 |
[17:20] | I’m having trouble breathing. | 我有呼吸障碍了 |
[17:27] | Hey, George, there she is again. | 嘿,乔治,又是她 |
[17:30] | What are you doing? You’re killing me. | 你在干嘛? 你想害死我啊 |
[17:33] | Ask her to drive us around. There’s your opening. | 请她开车带我们绕绕 这是你的好机会 |
[17:38] | That is an opening. | 确实是个好机会 |
[17:42] | Excuse me. I’m really… | 你好,我真的是… |
[17:45] | See, what happened… | 瞧,事情是… |
[17:47] | …my friend forgot where he parked… -Sure, I’ll drive you around. | – 我朋友忘记他把车停哪儿了… – 好,我开车带你们绕绕 |
[17:51] | -You will? -Sure. | – 你会吗? – 当然 |
[17:53] | Thank you. Thank you. | 谢谢,谢谢 |
[17:54] | We’re late and my parents are waiting for me and we’re stuck here. | 我们迟到了而我父母正在等我 我们却困在这儿 |
[17:58] | Well, I wouldn’t wanna get lost in here. It smells like a toilet. | 我可不希望在这迷路 闻起来像个厕所 |
[18:01] | -People are such animals. -You’re telling me. | – 有些人跟畜生一样 – 非常同意 |
[18:03] | Filthy pigs. | 臭猪 |
[18:05] | It’s a brown Ford. | 是辆棕色的福特 |
[18:07] | This has happened to me too. It’s very frustrating. | 我也遇到过这种事 非常令人沮丧 |
[18:10] | I’ve asked several people. They wouldn’t even answer me. | 我求过好几个人 他们甚至都不搭理我 |
[18:14] | I’m happy to do it. | 我乐意帮忙 |
[18:17] | I’m Michele. | 我叫米歇尔 |
[18:19] | Hi, Michele. I’m George. | 嗨,米歇尔,我叫乔治 |
[18:31] | -Get out! -But I didn’t mean anything by it. | – 出去! – 但我说这话并没什么意思 |
[18:35] | I don’t even know L. Ron Hubbard. I didn’t know you were with that group. | 我甚至都不知道L・罗恩・哈伯特 我不知道你会是那一派的 |
[18:40] | What about my fish? | 我的鱼怎么办? |
[18:42] | Boy, those Scientologists, they can be pretty sensitive. | 伙计,这些基督教科学派教徒 她们可真够敏感的 |
[18:45] | I’ll say. | 我想说 |
[18:47] | What is it? The car! | 这是什么?我们的车! |
[18:49] | -The car! | -The car! – 车! – 车! |
[18:51] | -The car! -I can’t believe it! | – 车! – 真难以置信! |
[18:56] | Kramer. Kramer’s not here. I knew it. | 克莱默,克莱默不在这儿 我早就知道 |
[19:00] | I knew it. I knew this would happen. | 我早就知道 我早就知道会发生这种事 |
[19:01] | -Kramer! Kramer! | -Kramer! – 克莱默!克莱默! – 克莱默! |
[19:05] | Kramer! | 克莱默! |
[19:14] | Hey, look. | 嘿,看 |
[19:16] | Boy, I had a hell of a time finding that air conditioner. | 伙计,我浪费了 不少时间去找空调 |
[19:19] | You know I looked everywhere? | 我到处都找了,你知道吗? |
[19:20] | I completely forgot where I hid it. | 我完全不记得我把它藏哪儿了 |
[19:23] | You know where it was? | 你知道它在哪儿吗? |
[19:25] | -Purple 23. -Right. Purple 23. | – 紫色23号 – 对,紫色23号 |
[19:29] | I could have used you. | 我应该让你帮忙的 |
[19:31] | Sometimes it’s good to write those things down. | 有时最好把这些东西写下来 |
[19:33] | Oh, boy. What time is it? | 哦,伙计,现在几点了? |
[19:36] | 7:45. | |
[19:40] | Well, at least there’ll be no traffic. | 哦,至少不会堵车了 |
[19:43] | Right. | 对 |
[19:45] | Oh, boy. | 哦,伙计 |
[19:50] | -What time does that play start? -8:00. | – 表演什么时候开始? |
[19:54] | Well, that could be a problem. | 哦,那有点问题 |
[19:56] | Where’s your little bag of… | 你那一小袋… |
[20:01] | All right, let’s giddyup. | 好,我们开路吧 |
[20:25] | See, the problem with the mall garage… | 瞧,商场停车库的问题是… |
[20:27] | …is that everything looks the same. | 所有的东西看起来都一样 |
[20:31] | They try to differentiate it. | 他们试图将其区分开 |
[20:33] | They put up different colours, different numbers, different letters. | 他们设置不同的颜色 不同的数字,不同的字母 |
[20:36] | What they need to do is name the levels like: | 他们所需要做的 将楼层像这样命名 |
[20:38] | “Your mother’s a whore.” You know what I mean? | “你妈是妓女” 你们知道我是什么意思吗? |
[20:40] | You would remember that. | 你们会记住的 |
[20:42] | You’d go, ” I know, I’m parked at ‘My father’s an abusive alcoholic. ‘ | 你会说,“我知道 我车停在‘我爸是酒鬼’了” |
[20:45] | I know where I parked. “ | “我知道我停在哪儿” |