时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:02] | The thing about birthday parties… | 我要说说关于生日派对的事 |
[00:05] | …is that the first and last party you have are quite similar. | 其实你的第一个 和最后一个生日派对非常相似 |
[00:08] | You just kind of sit there. | 你就那么坐在那儿 |
[00:10] | You’re the least excited person at the party. | 你是整个派对上觉得最无趣的人了 |
[00:13] | You don’t even realize that there is a party. | 你甚至不知道这是个派对 |
[00:16] | You don’t know what’s going on. | 你不知道发生了什么事 |
[00:18] | Both birthday parties, people have to help you… | 这两个派对,都会有人帮助你 |
[00:20] | …blow out the candles. You don’t even know why you’re doing it. | 吹灭蜡烛 你不知道为什么你要这样做 |
[00:23] | What is this ritual? What is going on? | 这是个什么样的仪式 发生了什么 |
[00:26] | It’s also the only two birthday parties where other people have to gather… | 这也是唯一的两个生日派对 会有人为你 |
[00:30] | …your friends together for you. | 召集你的朋友的 |
[00:33] | Sometimes they’re not your friends. They make the judgment. | 有时候请来的甚至并不是你的朋友 那帮人自己觉得是就是了 |
[00:36] | They bring them in, and they tell you, “These are your friends. | 他们把那些人叫来,安排他们都坐好了 然后对你说 |
[00:40] | Tell them, ‘Thank you for coming to my birthday party.”‘ | “这些是你的朋友,你得告诉他们说 |
[00:43] | -=The Last Fantasy=- | ‘谢谢能来参加我的生日派对’ ” |
[00:47] | These are great. Just great. | 这真棒,太棒了 |
[00:50] | Really great. Really, really great. Don’t you think so, Elaine? | 真的太棒了,真的,太棒了 你难道不这么认为么,伊莲? |
[00:55] | Yeah. Really great. | 是啊,真棒 |
[00:57] | A coffee table book about coffee tables. | 一本长得像咖啡桌的关于咖啡桌的书 |
[01:00] | How did you come up with this idea? | 你是怎么想到这个主意的 |
[01:02] | It was there. | 自然而然就想到了 |
[01:04] | Look at this one. It’s saying, “I’m a coffee table. | 看看这个,上面写着 “我是一张咖啡桌 |
[01:07] | Put some coffee on me. The hotter the better. That’s what I’m here for.” | 给我倒一些咖啡吧,越热越好 这就是我存在的原因” |
[01:11] | You know, actually, I’ve got some work I’ve got to do. | 说实话,我得走了 我还有事要做 |
[01:14] | How about if the book came with these little foldout legs… | 这样好不好:给这本书设计 可以折叠的桌腿 |
[01:17] | …so the book itself becomes a coffee table? | 那么这本书就可以 变得很象一张咖啡桌了 |
[01:20] | That is a great idea. | 很好的主意 |
[01:22] | Really, really great. | 真的,真的很好 |
[01:26] | And that coffee table is saying, “Put some coffee on me.” | 然后这张咖啡桌就会说: “给我倒一些咖啡” |
[01:31] | I’d like to put some coffee on her. Hot, scalding coffee… | 我真想把咖啡倒在她脸上 还要滚烫的 |
[01:34] | …right in her face. I swear, this is like working with a contestant… | 就这样倒过去 我发誓,这就好像和一个 |
[01:38] | …from The Price Is Right. | 她就像是Price Is Right里面的人 (美国一档有奖问答电视节目) |
[01:42] | Yeah, that’s real interesting. | 是啊,很有意思 |
[01:44] | Listen, tell me if you think this is funny. | 听听这个,告诉我 你是不是觉得很有趣 |
[01:47] | “Men definitely hit the remote more than women. | “男人明显比女人更常用遥控器 |
[01:50] | Men don’t care what’s on TV. Men only care what else is on TV. | 男人不关心电视上正在播什么 只关心电视上还有什么别的在播 |
[01:55] | Women wanna see what the show is before they change the channel… | 女人在换台之前 想好好看看节目 |
[01:58] | …because men hunt and women nest.” | 因为‘男打猎,女持家’嘛!” |
[02:00] | Yeah, it’s funny. I don’t know. | 是呀,有意思……我不知道 |
[02:03] | You don’t know? Come on, that’s gold. | 你不知道?这可是真理啊 |
[02:06] | – Well, I don’t know about gold. – Oh, that’s gold, baby. | – 好吧,我不知道什么真理 – 哦, 这就是真理,宝贝儿 |
[02:10] | – “Baby”? Are you doing George now? – I was saying “baby” before George. | – “宝贝儿”?难道你现在在学乔治讲话? -早在认识乔治之前我就开始说“宝贝儿”了 |
[02:15] | Don’t ask me any more questions… | 不要问我任何有关笑话的问题了 |
[02:17] | …about jokes. It puts pressure on me. | 这话题让我太有压力了 |
[02:20] | Leonard Christian’s gonna be there. | 雷纳德・克里斯汀要来了 |
[02:21] | Yeah? Who’s he? | 是吗?他是谁? |
[02:23] | A writer from Entertainment Weekly. I would like to have a good show. | 来自《娱乐周刊》的作家 我可想要好好演出 |
[02:27] | – Hi. | – 嗨,我的小可爱 – 嗨 |
[02:30] | – Hey, how about that Toby? – Yeah, how about her? | – 嗨,托比怎么样? – 是啊,她怎么样 |
[02:33] | She’s a package full of energy. | 她整个人充满了活力 |
[02:36] | – She’s a package full of something. – And that something is life. | – 她整个人是充满了某种东西 – 充满了生气 |
[02:40] | You got to meet her. She’s brimming with positivity. | 你真应该见见她 她身上活力四射 |
[02:43] | – Oh, please. – Hey. | – 哦,得了吧 – 嘿 |
[02:46] | – Are you performing tomorrow? – Yeah. | – 你明天有演出么? – 有 |
[02:48] | Great. I’m gonna bring Toby. | 太好了,我会带她过来 |
[02:50] | You better laugh. I’m being reviewed. | 你最好多笑笑 会有人给我写写我评论的 |
[02:51] | – Leonard Christian’s gonna be there. – She’s a great laugher. | – 雷纳德・克里斯汀要来了 – 她很爱笑 |
[02:54] | Yeah. She’s a great laugher, Jerry. | 是啊,她确实很爱笑,杰瑞 |
[02:57] | “Really, really great.” | “真的,真的很棒” |
[03:00] | Want to sit with George? He’s coming with Robin. | 想和乔治坐一起吗? 他会和罗宾一起来 |
[03:03] | – Is that the waitress from the club? – Yeah. | – 就是那个俱乐部的女服务生? – 是的 |
[03:05] | – Is she bringing her kid too? – She’s got a kid? | – 她会把她的孩子一起带来吗? – 她有孩子? |
[03:09] | You should see George get along with this kid. | 你真应该瞧瞧乔治 是怎么和那孩子相处的 |
[03:13] | What are you doing under there? Stop that. | 你在下面做什么呢? 快停下 |
[03:15] | Don’t eat that. That’s not food. | 别吃那个,那不能吃 |
[03:17] | – He’s sucking down Equal packets. – Do you think 25 kids is too much? | – 他在吞那包东西呢! – 你觉得25个孩子是不是太多了? |
[03:21] | Twenty-five kids for his birthday party? | 25个孩子来参加他的生日派对? |
[03:24] | Don’t put your tongue on the floor. He’s putting his tongue on the floor. | 别舔地板,他在舔地板啊! |
[03:28] | Here, here. Have some more sugar packets. | 这儿,这儿,给你一包糖 |
[03:31] | So, what about entertainment? | 那么,说说娱乐项目吧 |
[03:33] | – Should I get Barney? – No Barney. | – 我要不要带巴尼过来? – 不要 |
[03:36] | – Maybe a clown. – How about Bozo? | – 也许需要一个小丑 – 波佐怎么样 |
[03:38] | Who’s Bozo? | 谁是波佐? |
[03:40] | Who’s Bozo? Bozo the Clown. That’s who Bozo is. | 谁是波佐?小丑波佐 波佐就是个小丑 |
[03:44] | When I was a kid, Bozo the Clown was the clown, bar none. | 当我还是孩子的时候 小丑波佐,波佐小丑,无所不能 |
[03:47] | – George. – With the orange hair… | – 乔治 – 他的头发是桔黄色的 |
[03:49] | …the big clown shirt with the ruffles. – George. | – 穿着大大的带褶皱的小丑服 – 乔治 |
[03:52] | – A TV show, he had cartoons. – George! | – 在一电视节目里,他还被画成了卡通人物! – 乔治! |
[03:54] | Forget Bozo, George. Bozo’s out. | 别提波佐了,乔治 波佐过时了 |
[03:57] | He’s finished. It’s over for Bozo. | 他的时代过去了,他已经完蛋了 |
[04:01] | When I was a kid, we didn’t have these parties… | 在我小时候,可没有这样的派对 |
[04:04] | …with catered food and entertainment. | 没有免费食物和娱乐 |
[04:06] | I remember my seventh birthday party. | 我记得七岁的那次生日 |
[04:08] | Blow out the candles! | Blow out the candles! 吹灭蜡烛!吹灭蜡烛! |
[04:10] | I said blow out the damn candles! | 听见没,快吹灭这该死的蜡烛! |
[04:12] | – Stop it, Frank! You’re killing him! – Blow out the candles! | – 住手,弗兰克!你要把他弄死了! – 快吹了它! |
[04:18] | Well, this time, you can blow out the candles. | 那么这次你可以把蜡烛吹灭了 |
[04:21] | No, I have asthma. Ben. Ben! | 不,我有哮喘,本!本! |
[04:28] | Hi. | 嗨 |
[04:30] | – Hi, Toby. – How are you doing today? | – 你好,托比 – 今天过得好吗? |
[04:33] | Fine. | 很好 |
[04:39] | – How are you? – Oh, I’m great. Just great. | – 你呢? – 我很好,非常好 |
[04:42] | Really great. | 真的很好 |
[04:45] | – Hey, did you hear about Bob Rosen? – No. | – 嘿,你听说鲍勃・罗森了吗? – 没有 |
[04:48] | He’s going to Knophf. He’s going to be a vice president. | 他要去科诺夫出版社了 他要去做副社长了 |
[04:51] | Knophf? Really? | 科诺夫?真的吗? |
[04:53] | Boy, that means there’s an opening here for… | 哇哦,那就是说 主编的职位现在空缺了 |
[04:56] | …senior editor. Has Lippman hired anyone? | 利普曼新雇人了吗? |
[05:00] | No. I hear he wants to promote someone in-house. | 没有,我听说他会在公司内部选人 |
[05:04] | – Really? – Maybe it’ll be you. | – 真的? – 也许那个人就是你哦 |
[05:08] | – Well… – You really deserve it. | – 呃… – 非你莫属的 |
[05:11] | – Well… – I mean, you have experience… | – 呃… – 我是说,你经验丰富 |
[05:13] | …seniority, Lippman really respects your opinion. | 资历又老,利普曼也很尊重你的意见 |
[05:17] | Well… | 呃… |
[05:21] | – Hey, it could be you. – No. | – 嘿,也可能是你啊 – 不可能 |
[05:23] | – No, really. – Really? You think so? | – 不是,真的 – 真的吗?你真的这么觉得? |
[05:26] | – Sure. – Boy, wouldn’t that be exciting? | – 当然 – 哇哦,这太令人激动了 |
[05:30] | – Stranger things have happened. – Me, a senior editor. I’d like that. | – 怪事有时候还是会发生的 – 我,主编?太棒了 |
[05:35] | You shouldn’t get your hopes up. | 你可别期望太高啊 |
[05:38] | Well, it’s a possibility. Like you said… | 好吧,这只是有可能而已 就像你说的 |
[05:40] | …stranger things have happened. Thank you, Elaine. Thank you. | 有时候还是会发生那么点怪事 谢谢你,伊莲,谢谢 |
[05:50] | – Hey, Ronnie. – Hey. | – 你好,罗尼 – 你好 |
[05:52] | Can I have a club soda? | 给我一杯苏打水好吗 |
[05:54] | – Going on tonight? – Yeah. | – 今晚还顺利吗? – 不错 |
[05:55] | – You? – Yeah. | – 你呢? – 还行 |
[05:57] | – You know, Leonard Christian’s here. – I know. | – 你知道吗,雷纳德・克里斯汀来了 – 我知道 |
[05:59] | Can I ask you something? Are my nostrils getting bigger? | 我问你个问题 我的鼻孔有没有变大? |
[06:05] | – I don’t think so. – Are you sure? | – 我觉得没有 – 真的没有? |
[06:07] | Take a look. Do they seem a little bigger? | 仔细看看 你不觉得他们有一点点变大了吗? |
[06:09] | I don’t know. I don’t know. | 我不知道,不知道 |
[06:11] | Is it possible for nostrils to expand? | 鼻孔是不是会变大啊 |
[06:14] | – Is this a bit? – Hey, I don’t do bits. | – 大概有一点吧 – 嘿,别跟我说有一点 |
[06:16] | I’m a prop comic. | 我可是个喜剧道具师啊 |
[06:18] | Damn it. I can’t find my water gun. I can’t go on without my water gun. | 该死,我找不到水枪了 没有水枪我什么也干不了 |
[06:22] | – Hey, Jerry. – Hey. | – 你好,杰瑞 – 你好 |
[06:24] | – Well, here’s Toby. Jerry. – This is so exciting. | – 这是托比,托比,这是杰瑞 – 这太令人激动了 |
[06:28] | Look. I have goose bumps. Touch. | 瞧,我鸡皮疙瘩都起来了,摸一下 |
[06:31] | Touch them. | 摸一下 |
[06:34] | – Hey. – I’ve never been… | – 你好 – 我从来没有 |
[06:36] | …to a comedy club before. – Really? | – 来过喜剧酒吧 – 真的吗? |
[06:38] | Many restaurants are serving brewed decaf now too. | 很多餐馆现在也供应 酿成酒的无咖啡因饮料了 |
[06:43] | – You are so funny. – You’ll have a good time, I swear. | – 你真有趣 – 我保证今晚你会很愉快的 |
[06:47] | He swears, like he thinks I don’t believe him. I believe you. | 他保证,就好象我不相信他一样 我相信你!我相信你! |
[06:51] | – He’s so funny. – What about me? | – 他真有趣 – 那我呢? |
[06:53] | What about you? | 你? |
[06:56] | I’m only kidding. You’re funny too. | 我开玩笑的,你也很有趣 |
[06:58] | I love to laugh. | 我喜欢笑 |
[07:00] | – Good. – So you up next? | – 很好 – 你接下来要做什么呢 |
[07:02] | Yeah. Why don’t you guys get a good table. | 对了,为什么不找个好位子坐下来呢 |
[07:04] | We don’t want some jerk sitting in front of us. | 我们可不想某些混蛋挡在我们前面 |
[07:06] | It’ll be like, “Hey, big-head, can you move? | 比如说“哎,大头鬼,你不能滚远点吗? |
[07:08] | I didn’t pay a cover charge to stare at your bald spot.” | 我可不是花钱看你秃头的!” |
[07:13] | – So you have a good show. – Yeah. | – 那么祝你演出成功 – 好的 |
[07:15] | Have a great show. Hey, we’ll make sure it’s a great show. | 好好表现,嘿,我们会很配合的 |
[07:18] | – Okay. Good. I’ll see you later. – Yeah. | – 好的,谢谢,待会儿见 – 待会儿见 |
[07:21] | He’s so great. This is so great. I’m so excited. | 他真棒,太棒了,我太激动了 |
[07:27] | Men definitely hit the remote button more than women. | 男人的确比女人更常使用遥控器 |
[07:30] | – Really, really. That is so true. – Yes, l… Yeah. | – 没错,没错,真的是这样 – 是的,我…呃… |
[07:34] | Men don’t care what’s on TV. | 男人不在乎这个台在播什么 |
[07:36] | Men only care what else is on TV. | 只在乎别的台在播什么 |
[07:39] | Yes. Right on, right on. | 对极了,就是这样 |
[07:43] | See, women… | 看,女人… |
[07:45] | Women wanna see what the show is before they change the channel. | 女人总是想在男人换台之前 好好看看节目 |
[07:49] | That is so true. Yes, yes. | 太对了,是这样的,没错 |
[07:52] | That’s why men hunt and women nest. | 这就是为什么 人们常说“男打猎,女持家” |
[08:01] | Yeah, anyway… Yeah, all right. | 呃…呃…好吧 |
[08:03] | So anyway… What was I talking about? | 所以说…刚说到哪了? |
[08:11] | – Hey. | – Hey. What’s the deal? – 嘿 – 嘿,这到底怎么回事 |
[08:13] | I invite you down here, I have an important show… | 我请你来这里 我有一个很重要的演出 |
[08:16] | …and she heckles me? – She didn’t mean anything. | – 她却在那里扰乱我? – 她不是故意的 |
[08:19] | – What’s the matter? Is she crazy? – She’s just enthusiastic, that’s all. | – 怎么回事?她疯了吗? – 她只是太热情了,仅此而已 |
[08:23] | – Hey, what is wrong with you? – Me? | – 嘿,你怎么回事? – 我? |
[08:26] | – Nothing’s wrong with me. – You boo me? | – 我正常得很 – 你老起哄!还嘘我! |
[08:29] | You hiss? You didn’t stop blathering throughout the whole set. | 你一直嚷嚷,从头到尾不停地在嚷嚷 |
[08:33] | Come on. I thought you’re a pro. That’s part of the show. | 得了吧,我还以为你是个专业人员呢 这是表演的一部分 |
[08:36] | No. Not part of the show. | 乱说,完全不是 |
[08:39] | Booing and hissing are not part of the show. | 吵吵嚷嚷不是表演的一部分 |
[08:41] | You boo puppets. You hiss villains in silent movies. | 你冲着着木偶叫唤吗? 对着默剧里的恶棍嘘嘘叫吗? |
[08:45] | That’s the way I express myself. | 这是我表达的方式 |
[08:47] | How will you make it if you can’t take it? | 如果你连这都接受不了的话 怎么当个好主持啊? |
[08:50] | – I can take it. – Let’s go. | – 我接受得了 – 我们走 |
[08:53] | Hey, man, good set. | 嘿,杰瑞,不错的演出 |
[09:01] | – Bozo? – No. | – 波佐? – 没听过 |
[09:04] | – B-O-Z-O. – Sorry. L… | – 波~ 佐~ – 不好意思,不知道 |
[09:08] | You’ve never heard of Bozo the Clown? | 你从来没听过小丑波佐? |
[09:10] | No. | 没有 |
[09:12] | – How could you not know? – I don’t know. I just don’t. | – 你怎么能不知道呢? – 不知道就是不知道 |
[09:15] | How can you call yourself a clown and not know who Bozo is? | 你连波佐都不知道 怎么能算得上是个小丑呢? |
[09:19] | Hey, what are you hassling me for? This is just a gig. It’s not my life. | 嘿, 你在这里和我吵什么 这只是个演出,又不是我全部的人生 |
[09:24] | I don’t know who Bozo is. Is he a clown? | 我不认识波佐 他是一个小丑吗? |
[09:26] | What, are you kidding me? | 什么?是个小丑吗? 你开什么国际玩笑?! |
[09:28] | – Well, what is he? – Yes, he’s a clown. | – 好吧,那他是干嘛的? – 没错,他就是一个小丑 |
[09:30] | All right. So, what’s the big deal? There’s millions of clowns. | 好吧,那又怎么样呢? 世界上有那么多小丑 |
[09:34] | – All right, just forget it. – Forget…? Me? You should forget it. | – 好吧,忘了这事吧 – 让我忘了?是你应该忘了 |
[09:37] | You’re living in the past, man. You’re hung up on some clown… | 老大,你活在过去 你对一个六十年代的小丑念念不忘啊 |
[09:41] | …from the ’60s, man. – All right. | 好吧 |
[09:44] | Very good, very good. All right, go fold your balloon animals, Eric. | 很好,很好,去和你的动物气球玩吧,埃里克 |
[09:47] | Eric. What kind of name is that for a clown, huh? | 埃里克,怎么会有小丑有这样的名字 |
[09:51] | Excuse me. You must be George. | 你好,你一定就是乔治吧 |
[09:54] | I’m Robin’s mother. You seem like… | 我是罗宾的母亲 |
[09:58] | …such a lovely young man. – Well, I do what I can. | – 你看上去真是个讨人喜欢的年轻人呀~ – 嗨,我也只是尽力而为而已 |
[10:03] | Hi, Ma. How’s everything? | 嗨,妈妈,怎么样了? |
[10:05] | This is just a wonderful party. | 这真派对棒极了 |
[10:09] | The burgers should be ready in a minute. | 汉堡马上就准备好了 |
[10:11] | Great, great. | 好极了 |
[10:15] | What’s that smell? | 什么味道? |
[10:17] | Smoke? | 烟味? |
[10:19] | Smoke. | 烟味 |
[10:21] | Everybody, I think I smell some smoke back here. | 大家听着,我觉得这里有烟味 |
[10:25] | Fire! Get out of here! | 起火了!大家快离开这儿! |
[10:27] | Get out of my way! | 让开! |
[10:33] | – It was an inferno in there! – There he is. That’s him! | – 就像地狱的熊熊烈火! – 他在那儿!在那儿! |
[10:37] | – That’s the coward that left us to die. – Let go. | – 就是这个懦夫把我们丢下不管 – 放手! |
[10:50] | I was trying to lead the way. | 我只是想要为你们带路 |
[10:53] | We needed a leader, someone to lead the way to safety. | 我们需要一个领导者 来指引大家安全逃离 |
[10:58] | But you yelled, “Get out of my way.” | 但你大叫“让开” |
[11:02] | Because… | 这是因为… |
[11:03] | Because… | 因为… |
[11:05] | …as the leader, if I die… | 作为领导者,如果我死了 |
[11:08] | …then all hope is lost. | 那么所有的希望就都破灭了 |
[11:11] | Who would lead? The clown? | 那还有谁能带路呢?这小丑吗? |
[11:15] | Instead of castigating me, you should be thanking me. | 你们应该感谢我而不是责备我 |
[11:18] | What kind of topsy-turvy world do we live in where heroes… | 多混乱的世界啊 |
[11:22] | …are cast as villains, brave men as cowards? | 英雄变成了恶棍,勇士变成了懦夫 |
[11:25] | But I saw you push the women and children… | 但是我看到你推开女人和小孩 |
[11:28] | …out of the way in a mad panic. | 慌得像个疯子 |
[11:30] | I saw you knock them down. | 我看到你把他们推倒在地 |
[11:33] | And when you ran out, you left everyone behind. | 当你跑出去之后,也没有回来救人 |
[11:36] | Seemingly. Seemingly. To the untrained eye… | 表面上是这样,只是表面上 |
[11:40] | …I can fully understand how you got that impression. | 我很能够理解你们这些 没有受过训练的人会这样认为 |
[11:44] | What looked like pushing, what looked like knocking down… | 我的推,我的挤,是一种安全措施啊 |
[11:48] | …was a safety precaution. In a fire… | 当火灾发生的时候 |
[11:51] | …you stay close to the ground. Am I right? Well… | 应该要尽量靠近地面 对不对? |
[11:55] | And when I ran out that door, I was not leaving anyone behind. | 至于我跑出去以后,并没有不管你们 |
[12:00] | Quite the contrary. I risked my life… | 恰恰相反,我冒着生命危险 |
[12:04] | …making sure that exit was clear. | 来确保出口的通畅 |
[12:09] | Any other questions? | 还有什么疑问吗? |
[12:11] | How do you live with yourself? | 你是怎么受得了你自己的? |
[12:13] | It’s not easy. | 还真不大容易 |
[12:18] | So she doesn’t want to see me anymore. | 就这样,她再也不想见到我了 |
[12:24] | Did you knock her over too or just the kids? | 你是不是把她也推倒了? 还是只推了孩子? |
[12:29] | No, her too. | 把她也推倒了 |
[12:33] | And her mother. | 还有她妈妈 |
[12:35] | – Really? Her mother? – Yeah. | – 真的吗?还有她妈妈? – 没错 |
[12:37] | I may have stepped on her arm too. | 我好像还踩到她的胳膊了 |
[12:41] | You probably couldn’t see because of the smoke. | 你可能被烟雾挡住了视线 |
[12:44] | Yeah. | 有可能 |
[12:45] | But it was somebody’s arm. | 但我确实踩到了一只胳膊 |
[12:48] | So you feel “women and children first” in this day and age… | 那么也就是说 你认为“女士和小孩优先” |
[12:51] | …is somewhat of an antiquated notion. | 只是过去的老观念了? |
[12:55] | To some degree, yeah. | 某种意义上说,是这样的吧 |
[12:56] | So basically, it’s every man, woman, child and invalid for themselves. | 那么也就是说,男人女人小孩残疾 都应该自己照顾自己咯? |
[13:02] | – In a manner of speaking. – Yeah. | 说起来是这样的 |
[13:04] | – Well, it’s honest. – Yeah. | – 你很诚实 – 恩 |
[13:06] | She should be commending me for treating everyone like equals. | 她应该表扬我如此公正的对待每一个人 |
[13:11] | Perhaps when she’s released from the burn center… | 也许她从烧伤中心里出来的时候会想开的 |
[13:13] | …she’ll see things differently. | 会从另一个角度看问题 |
[13:18] | Perhaps. | 也许吧 |
[13:21] | So, what was the fire, just some greasy hamburgers? | 那么,怎么会起火的? 因为油腻的汉堡? |
[13:23] | Yeah. Eric the clown put it out with his big shoe. | 对啊,然后埃里克,就是那个小丑 用他硕大的鞋子灭了火 |
[13:33] | – By the way, did you see this? – What’s that? | – 对了,你看过这个没? – 什么? |
[13:37] | The Leonard Christian article about my show. | 雷纳德・克莉丝汀写我的文章 |
[13:40] | Plus my gig in Miami got canceled. I bet you it’s because of the article. | 还有,我迈阿密的演出被取消了 我打赌肯定是因为这篇文章的缘故 |
[13:44] | He really does a number on you. “Seinfeld froze like a deer… | 他真的很不给你面子 “宋飞在一片哄闹声中 |
[13:48] | …in the headlights in the face of incessant heckling.” | 呆站在聚光灯下,就好像一只惊慌的小鹿” |
[13:51] | I should’ve let her have it. I held back because of Kramer. | 我真应该让她看看这个 就因为克莱默我才沦落到这个下场的 |
[13:54] | Know what you should do? | 知道你现在该做什么吗? |
[13:56] | – Go to her office and heckle her. – Right. | – 去她的办公室骚扰她 – 对 |
[13:59] | All the comedians say, “What if I came to your work and heckled you?” | 喜剧演员都会说: “我也在你工作的时候打扰,怎样?” |
[14:03] | – Yeah, that’d be something. – I’m not kidding. You should do it. | – 没错,这是个好主意 – 我没在开玩笑,你应该这么做 |
[14:07] | Wouldn’t that be the ultimate comedian’s revenge? | 那会不会是一个喜剧演员的终极报复? |
[14:09] | – I’ve always had a fantasy about that. – Well, go ahead. Do it. | – 我很好奇要我真那么做了会怎样 – 那就去吧,去做吧 |
[14:13] | – Why can’t I? – No reason. | – 为什么不呢? – 没什么不可以的 |
[14:15] | You know what? I think I’m gonna do that. | 你知道吗,我要这么做 |
[14:18] | She came down to where I work. I’ll go down to where she works. | 她来破坏我的工作,那么我也去破坏她的 |
[14:22] | – This is unprecedented. – There’s no precedent, baby. | – 真是史无前例啊 – 本来就没有前例,宝贝儿 |
[14:28] | What, you’re using my “babies” now? | 你说什么?你怎么开始 盗用我的“宝贝儿”了? |
[14:34] | Hey, nice shoes. Do you wear sandals to work? | 嘿,鞋子很漂亮嘛 你穿凉鞋上班? |
[14:38] | It’s nice to walk into a room and get the aroma of feet. | 走进一个飘着“脚香”的办公室 真是让人舒畅啊 |
[14:41] | Real conducive to the work atmosphere. | 绝对有利于塑造办公话环境 |
[14:43] | I’m sure your coworkers like it. | 你的同事肯定很喜欢 |
[14:44] | “Hey, let’s go eat in Toby’s office.” | “嘿,我们去托比的办公室吃饭吧” |
[14:47] | “Great idea. We can check on her bunions.” | “好主意,去看看她的脚有没有发炎” |
[14:50] | You know, I have work to do here. I’m very busy. | 你知道吗,我有工作要做,我很忙 |
[14:53] | Is this disruptive? You find it hard to work with someone interrupting? | 哦,我打扰你了? 你觉得被人打扰很难工作? |
[14:58] | – How’d you like it if I called security? – Security? | – 你再这样我叫保安了 – 保安? |
[15:02] | I don’t know how you’ll make it in this business if you can’t take it. | 如果你连这都受不了的话 我不知道你能不能胜任你的工作哦 |
[15:06] | You got to be tough. | 你要坚强起来 |
[15:09] | You know… All right. That’s it. | 好吧,够了 |
[15:12] | – Get out of my way. – What’s going on? | – 让开 – 怎么回事? |
[15:15] | What’s happening here? Toby. | 发生什么事了? |
[15:17] | Toby! | 托比,托比! |
[15:19] | – My pinkie toe. – Toby! | – 我的小脚趾! – 托比! |
[15:26] | What did you go out there to heckle her for? | 你为什么要去那儿骚扰她? |
[15:29] | Because she came down the club and heckled me. | 因为她先这样对我的 |
[15:31] | I gave her a taste of her own medicine. | 我只是以其人之道还至其人之身罢了 |
[15:33] | Oh, yeah! You gave her a taste of medicine, all right. | 哦,好吧! 你以其人之道还至其人之身,好吧 |
[15:37] | – I didn’t want her to have an accident. – What accident? | – 我不想她发生意外的 – 什么意外? |
[15:41] | After he heckled Toby, she ran out of the building… | 他骚扰托比之后,她觉得很心烦 就跑出了大楼 |
[15:44] | …and a street sweeper ran over her foot… | 然后一辆清洁车从她的脚上碾了过去 |
[15:46] | …and severed her pinkie toe. | 碾过她的小脚趾 |
[15:49] | – That’s unbelievable. – Yeah. Then after the ambulance left… | – 真不敢相信 – 是啊,救护车开过之后 |
[15:52] | …I found the toe. | 我找到了她的脚趾 |
[15:54] | I put it in a Cracker Jack box with ice and took off for the hospital. | 我把它放在饼干盒里 用冰冻起来,送去医院 |
[15:58] | – You ran? – No. I jumped on the bus. | – 你跑过去的? – 不是,我跳上了一辆巴士 |
[16:01] | I told the driver, “I got a toe here, buddy. Step on it.” | 我对司机说: “我拿着一个脚趾,伙计,踩油门” |
[16:05] | – Holy cow! – Yeah, yeah. | – 我的天哪! – 是啊,是啊 |
[16:07] | Then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. | 突然,一个人掏出了一把枪 |
[16:11] | Well, I knew any delay’s gonna cost her her pinkie toe… | 我心里明白,一点点的延误 就会断送了她的小脚趾 |
[16:14] | …so I got up, and I started walking towards him. | 所以我站起来,慢慢朝他走过去 |
[16:17] | He says, “Where do you think you’re going, Cracker Jack?” | 他说:“你以为 你这是上哪儿去啊,凤梨头!?” |
[16:20] | I says, “Well, I got a prize for you, buddy.” | 我说:“我要给你点颜色看看,伙计” |
[16:26] | – Knocked him out cold. – How could you do that? | – 直接就把他打晕了! – 你怎么做到的? |
[16:28] | Then everybody is screaming because the driver’s passed out… | 然后所有人都开始尖叫 因为司机昏过去了 |
[16:32] | …because of all the commotion. The bus is out of control. | 他被这场骚乱吓晕了 巴士顿时失去了控制 |
[16:37] | So I grab him by the collar, take him out of the seat… | 所以我抓住他的衣领 把他拉下驾驶座 |
[16:39] | …get behind the wheel. Now I’m driving the bus. | 放到一边,然后我开始开车 |
[16:44] | – You’re Batman. – Yeah. I am Batman. | – 你就像蝙蝠侠 – 是的,我是蝙蝠侠 |
[16:47] | Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts choking me. | 然后,那个强盗,他也走过来了 开始掐我脖子 |
[16:50] | So I’m fighting him off with one hand… | 我用一只手和他打架 |
[16:52] | …and I kept driving the bus with the other, you know? | 一只手开车 |
[16:55] | Then I managed to open the door and kicked him out the door… | 最后我终于打开车门 一脚把他踹了下去 |
[16:58] | …with my foot, you know, at the next stop. | 你知道吗,就在下一个站点 |
[17:01] | You kept making all the stops? | 你还每站都停啊? |
[17:08] | Well, people kept ringing the bell! | 因为乘客不停的按铃! |
[17:14] | Well, what about the toe? What happened to the toe? | 好吧,那么脚趾怎么样了? |
[17:17] | Well, I am happy to say… | 我很高兴地告诉你们 |
[17:19] | …the little guy’s back in place at the end of the line. | 小脚趾安全抵达了目的地 |
[17:24] | You did all this for a pinkie toe? | 所有的这一切 就是为了一个小小的脚趾? |
[17:28] | Well, it’s a valuable appendage. | 好吧,这是个很有价值的小东西 |
[17:34] | So Kramer found the toe, and they reattached it. | 就这样克莱默找到了脚趾 并且把它安了回去 |
[17:38] | – Really? – Yeah. Poor kid. | – 真的吗? – 是的,可怜的孩子 |
[17:41] | – What an ordeal. – And you know… | 真是场磨难啊 |
[17:43] | …how extremely sensitive she is. She’s gonna need our full support. | 你知道她那么敏感 她需要我们的全力支持 |
[17:47] | – Yeah, right. – Look who’s here. | – 没错 – 看看谁来了 |
[17:49] | – Toby. – Hey, it’s Toby. | – 托比 – 看,托比来了 |
[17:51] | Hi. How are you? How are you feeling? | 你好,你怎么样了?感觉如何? |
[17:54] | – I’ll be okay. – Are you sure? | – 我会痊愈的 – 你确定吗? |
[17:57] | – I think so. – Toby, what can I do? | – 是的 – 托比,需要帮忙吗? |
[17:59] | – Can I get you something? – No, thank you. | – 要不要喝点什么? – 不用了,谢谢 |
[18:03] | Toby, please let us help. We’re family. | 托比,让我们做点什么吧 我们是一家人 |
[18:05] | Well, I could use a cup of coffee. | 好吧,我想喝一杯咖啡 |
[18:09] | – She got the promotion? – Yep. | – 她升职了? – 是的 |
[18:11] | – Why? – I’ll tell you why. | – 为什么? – 我来告诉你为什么 |
[18:14] | Because of her pinkie toe, that’s why. | 因为她受伤的小脚趾,这就是原因 |
[18:17] | Because Lippman felt so sorry for her, he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. | 因为利普曼很同情她 不想伤害她的感情 |
[18:21] | – Too bad. – Sure, the pinkie toe is cute… | – 真糟糕 – 是啊,小脚趾是很可爱 |
[18:24] | …but I mean, what is it? It’s useless. | 但是我是说,这有什么关系呢? 它毫无用处啊 |
[18:27] | It does nothing. It’s got that little nail that is just impossible to cut. | 它什么也不能做 只会长出一片难剪的指甲 |
[18:32] | – Why do we need it? – That’s the one… | – 我们为什么会需要小脚趾呢? – 因为它是 |
[18:34] | …that goes “wee, wee, wee” all the way home. | 在回家路上发出“嗡嗡”声的东西 |
[18:37] | – You just shut the… – Elaine, did you hear the news? | – 你就不能他妈的闭…… – 伊莲,你听说了吗 |
[18:39] | – Toby got promoted. – Yes, I heard, Kramer. | – 托比升职了 – 我听说了,克莱默 |
[18:42] | – I work there, remember? – You know what she told me? | – 我也在那儿 工作,不记得了吗? – 你知道她怎么跟我说? |
[18:46] | Her first order of business is to put my coffee table book… | 她说她上任的第一件事就是 |
[18:49] | …into the bookstores as soon as possible. | 尽快让我的咖啡杯书上书店的货架 |
[18:51] | – Oh, wonderful. – Throughout this whole thing… | – 哦, 太好了 – 整件事的过程中 |
[18:54] | …she always kept smiling. – Of course. She’s deranged. | 她一直保持微笑 – 当然了,都快狂笑了 |
[19:01] | I went down to the magazine, pleaded with him to see me again. | 我去了趟杂志社,求他再给我一次机会 |
[19:04] | He agreed to come down tonight and write another article. | 他同意今天晚上来,并且再写一篇文章 |
[19:07] | I heard you went down to somebody’s office… | 我听说你去了那谁谁的办公室 |
[19:10] | …and heckled them. – Damn right. | 还骚扰了她 – 正是如此 |
[19:12] | – We’ve been lap dogs long enough. – How could you do that? | – 我受够了做乖乖牌 – 你怎么做的出来? |
[19:15] | Everybody’s talking about it. | 所有人都在议论 |
[19:16] | It’s about time one of us drew a line in the sand. | 是时候有人出来做件 令人印象深刻的事了 |
[19:19] | Jerry, you’re like Rosa Parks. | 杰瑞,你就好象是罗莎.帕克斯 (黑人运动中首位拒绝给白人让座的黑人女性) |
[19:24] | You opened the door for all of us. | 你为我们开启了一扇门 |
[19:26] | I can’t wait until somebody heckles me. | 我也想有人来骚扰骚扰我 |
[19:28] | – Well, it won’t be long. – Ladies and gentlemen,,, | – 好吧,不会太久的 – 女士们先生们… |
[19:30] | …please welcome Jerry Seinfeld. – Got to go. | …大家欢迎杰瑞・宋飞 – 我得走了 |
[19:36] | Robin? Robin. | 罗宾?罗宾 |
[19:39] | – George, what is it? I’m working. – Robin, listen to me. | – 乔治,你来做什么?我在工作 – 罗宾,听我说 |
[19:42] | The most amazing thing has happened. | 最了不起的事情发生了 |
[19:44] | Kramer has opened my eyes. | 克莱默让我明白了 |
[19:47] | I think I’ve changed. | 我觉得我变了 |
[19:49] | – What are you talking about? – Okay. | – 你在说什么呢? – 好吧 |
[19:51] | I mean, Bozo the Clown. | 我是说,小丑波佐 |
[19:53] | I mean, does he really need “the Clown” in his title? | 我的意思是,他真的需要叫做“小丑” |
[19:57] | As clown. Bozo the Clown. | 作为一个小丑,小丑波佐 |
[20:00] | Are we gonna confuse him with Bozo the district attorney? | 我们是不是要用这个头衔来迷惑他? |
[20:03] | Bozo the pope? There’s no other Bozo. | 教皇波佐? 没有别的波佐了 |
[20:06] | You’ll see. Things will be different now if you’ll just give me one more chance. | 你会明白的,事情会变得不一样的 只要你给我一次机会 |
[20:12] | Listen, I got to think about this. | 听着,我得再想想 |
[20:15] | – All right, but I’m serious about this. – All right. Hand it over, man. | – 好吧,但我是认真的 – 好了,快交出来! |
[20:21] | That’s why men hunt and women nest. | 这就是为什么“男打猎,女持家” |
[20:23] | He’s got a gun! He’s got a gun! | 他有枪!枪! |
[20:26] | Get out of the way! | 快逃! |
[20:35] | – George. – What? | – 乔治 – 什么? |
[20:37] | – This is Ronnie Kaye. – The prop comic? | – 它是罗尼・凯伊 – 那个道具师? |
[20:43] | Hi. I didn’t… | 你好,我没有… |
[20:45] | I didn’t recognize you. What, did you…? You get a haircut? | 我没有认出你来 你剪头发了? |
[20:48] | Nostrils. | 是鼻孔(变大了) |
[20:51] | George? | 乔治? |
[20:53] | Could I have a word? | 我可以跟你谈谈么? |
[21:04] | I was in a hotel, and the back of a door in the hotel, they have that fire map. | 我有一次在宾馆 门背后贴了一张火灾的紧急通道图 |
[21:08] | I’m flattered they think I’ll stand in a burning hotel room… | 我很高兴,他们认为 我会在一个着火的房间里 |
[21:11] | …memorizing directions. | 回忆正确的方向 |
[21:13] | I’ll go left by the stair, right by the candy machine. | 我会在楼梯口着转 在糖果贩卖机那儿右转 |
[21:17] | I’d probably get lost, have to go back to the room, check the map again. | 我也许会迷失方向 不得不走回房间再看看那张地图 |
[21:22] | They always tell you, whatever you do in a hotel fire, do not panic. | 他们总是告诉你说 宾馆着火的时候千万不要惊慌 |
[21:27] | Hey, I’ve got four minutes to live. I’ve never panicked in my life. | 嘿,我还有四分钟可以活 我这一生从来没有惊慌过 |
[21:30] | It’s my option. | 这是我的选择 |
[21:32] | Even if they find you, you have a perfect excuse. | 即使他们发现了你 你也有一个完美的理由 |
[21:35] | They saved you swinging from the shower curtain… | 他们救出你时你正拉着浴帘晃荡 |
[21:38] | …naked with the ice bucket on your head. What happened? | 赤身裸体,头上还顶了一罐冰块 别人问起,怎么回事? |
[21:41] | Well, I panicked. That’s understandable. | 好吧,我承认我很惊慌 这也是人之常情嘛 |