| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Back in the ’80s, before the internet, | 八十年代 互联网出现之前 |
| [00:03] | there weren’t as many ways to find love. | 找到真爱的途径并不多 |
| [00:05] | If you were lucky, you might get on “The dating game.” | 如果你够幸运 也许能上约会节目 |
| [00:07] | If you were really lucky, | 如果你真的够幸运 |
| [00:08] | you’d run into Beverly Goldberg. | 你就会碰到贝弗莉·金伯格 |
| [00:10] | I’ve got the perfect man for you, Inez. | 我手头有个非常适合你的人 伊莱兹 |
| [00:13] | His name’s Tony. He’s 53, non-smoker, | 他叫托尼 53岁 不抽烟 |
| [00:16] | works for the city, and he is literally | 公务员 而且他真的是 |
| [00:18] | the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. | 我见过的最帅的男人 |
| [00:20] | No, I don’t know how fast I was going, | 不 我不知道我开得有多快 |
| [00:23] | but you know what I do know? No wedding ring. | 但知道我知道什么吗 你没戴婚戒 |
| [00:25] | Have I got someone for you. | 我手头有人太适合你了 |
| [00:27] | Her name is Delia. She’s 34 years old, | 她叫迪莉亚 34岁 |
| [00:30] | real outdoorsy just like you, | 和你一样喜欢常在户外 |
| [00:32] | and she is literally the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. | 而且她真的是我见过的最漂亮的女人 |
| [00:36] | I am telling you, he is literally | 我告诉你 他真的是 |
| [00:38] | the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. | 我见过的最帅的男人 |
| [00:42] | Is Lucky interested in having puppies? | 幸运有兴趣生小狗吗 |
| [00:44] | ’cause I know a springer spaniel. | 因为我手头上有只史宾格犬 |
| [00:46] | Literally the cutest dog I’ve ever seen. | 真的是我见过的最可爱的狗狗 |
| [00:49] | My mom was eharmony, | 我妈是网络红娘 |
| [00:50] | Jdate, and Grindr all rolled into one. | 犹太交友网 同志交友网集一身 |
| [00:53] | She could match up anyone. | 她为任何人都可以做媒 |
| [00:55] | Well, almost anyone. | 好吧 差不多算是任何人 |
| [00:57] | Good morning! | 早上好 |
| [00:58] | Wow, dad, don’t you look dapper? | 爸 打扮得这么帅 |
| [01:00] | Big date tonight? | 今晚有重要约会吗 |
| [01:01] | Actually, I just finished my date from last night. | 事实上 我刚结束昨晚的约会 |
| [01:04] | Was this the aerobics instructor? | 是那个健美操教练吗 |
| [01:06] | – The antiques dealer. – No. | -古董商 -不对 |
| [01:08] | This was the manager from Coco’s. | 是可可餐厅的经理 |
| [01:10] | I ordered the steak, she ordered the me. | 我吃牛排下肚 她吃我下肚 |
| [01:13] | Here we go. | 又开始了 |
| [01:13] | Kids, you know the drill. Give us the room. | 孩子们 你们知道怎么做 快离开 |
| [01:16] | Come on. This is pure gold. I gotta get this on tape. | 别这样 这消息太劲爆了 我得录下来 |
| [01:19] | – You stay, Murray. – I stay. | -你留下来 默里 -我留下 |
| [01:22] | Please help me talk some sense into this man. | 请你帮我劝劝这个人 |
| [01:25] | Mom’s been gone for ten years. | 妈妈已经去世十年了 |
| [01:27] | He’s dated at least five different women a week. | 他一周至少约会五个女人 |
| [01:29] | That’s over 2,000 women. | 已经超过两千人了 |
| [01:30] | You’re saying something that’s good, | 你明明说的是好事 |
| [01:32] | but you’re saying it like it’s bad. | 说出来却像坏事 |
| [01:34] | I just think maybe it’s time you found someone special. | 我只是觉得也许是时候你找一个特别的女人了 |
| [01:37] | Maybe someone who doesn’t wear a tube top to work. | 也许找一个不穿抹胸装上班的女人 |
| [01:40] | Hey, what’s-her-name was plenty special. | 她的名字相当特别 |
| [01:43] | What was her name? Um… Tawny? Tammy? | 她叫什么来着 苔妮 苔米 |
| [01:46] | Taffy? Ta– is taffy a name? | 苔妃 苔妃适合做人名吗 |
| [01:48] | Just give me a chance, dad. | 给我一个机会 爸 |
| [01:50] | I can help you find the perfect woman. | 我可以帮你找到你的理想女性 |
| [01:52] | I have a gift. Tell him, Murray. | 我有天赋 告诉他 默里 |
| [01:53] | She has a gift, this one. | 她有天赋 |
| [01:55] | Fact–16 of my setups led to marriage, | 事实上 我做媒的有16对结了婚 |
| [01:58] | which resulted in 37 children. | 共生下37个孩子 |
| [02:00] | I did that. I created life. | 这是我的功劳 我创造了生命 |
| [02:03] | She’s like god. | 她像上帝 |
| [02:04] | Trust me, dad. I know what’s best for you. | 相信我 爸 我知道什么是最适合你的 |
| [02:06] | – She knows what’s best. – The hell she does. | -她知道什么最适合 -知道个鬼 |
| [02:08] | Bevy, you just can’t thelp yourself. | 贝弗 你就是忍不住 |
| [02:10] | You have to mix in. | 你非得插手别人的事 |
| [02:11] | I’m not mixing in. | 我没有插手 |
| [02:13] | I’m just trying to tell you what to do, | 我只是想告诉你怎么做 |
| [02:15] | even though you don’t want me to. | 尽管你不想让我说 |
| [02:17] | Just do her thing. | 照她说的做吧 |
| [02:19] | Murray, you’re really not helping me right now. | 默里 你这是在帮倒忙 |
| [02:20] | Will you please just give him your honest opinion | 麻烦你告诉他你的真实想法 |
| [02:23] | about how you feel about this? | 说出你的真实感受 |
| [02:24] | You want my honest opinion? | 你要我说出真实想法吗 |
| [02:26] | Well… | 好吧 |
| [02:28] | I think he’s doing great on his own. | 我觉得他现在的状态非常好 |
| [02:30] | – Get out. – Good-bye. | -滚 -拜拜 |
| [02:34] | Please, dad, let me find you just one woman. | 求你了 爸 就让我帮你物色一次吧 |
| [02:37] | You could even write down what you want, | 你甚至可以写下要求 |
| [02:38] | and I’ll find it. I’m that good. | 我会找到的 我就有这么厉害 |
| [02:40] | No one’s that good. | 没人这么厉害 |
| [02:42] | Try me. | 让我试试 |
| [02:44] | Fine. | 好的 |
| [02:45] | One date, but nothing serious. | 一次约会 我不会认真的 |
| [02:48] | I think you’re really gonna love being set up by your daughter. | 我想你会喜欢被女儿安排相亲的 |
| [02:51] | See? Now you’re saying something that’s bad, | 瞧 你现在明明说的是坏事 |
| [02:53] | but you’re saying it like it’s good. | 你说出来却像是好事 |
| [02:55] | You’re very confusing today. | 你今天太混乱了 |
| [03:12] | It was October 12, 1980-something. | 那是一九八几年的10月12日 |
| [03:15] | Every day after school, I had a tradition | 每天放学后 我和姐姐爱丽卡 |
| [03:17] | with my big sis Erica– “General hospital.” | 都有项传统活动 看《综合医院》 |
| [03:20] | It was more than a soap opera. It was an obsession. | 那不仅仅是一部电视剧 也是我的痴迷所在 |
| [03:23] | God, I hate Luke. | 老天 我恨卢克 |
| [03:24] | Me, too. | 我也是 |
| [03:26] | But I’m drawn to his danger. | 但我被他的危险性深深吸引 |
| [03:28] | Who isn’t? | 谁不是啊 |
| [03:29] | Erica loved watching her stories, | 爱丽卡喜欢看这部电视剧 |
| [03:30] | and I got sucked in, too. | 我也不能自拔 |
| [03:32] | Mostly ’cause the alternative was this… | 主要是因为不看的结果就是这样 |
| [03:34] | Why are you hitting yourself? | 你为什么要打自己 |
| [03:36] | Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? | 你为什么要打自己 你为什么要打自己 |
| [03:38] | Huh? What’d your face ever do to you? | 怎么啦 你脸怎么你啦 |
| [03:40] | Get off me, Barry! | 放开我 巴瑞 |
| [03:41] | Say “I love it when Barry whoops my ass.” | 说”我喜欢被巴瑞痛揍” |
| [03:43] | – I’m not gonna say it. – Say it! | -我不说 -说 |
| [03:44] | – I’m not gonna say it. – Say it! | -我不说 -说 |
| [03:46] | I love it when Barry whoops my ass. | 我喜欢被巴瑞痛揍 |
| [03:47] | Oh! Really? Then I’m-a keep on going! | 是吗 那我就继续啦 |
| [03:51] | This was what quality time looked like | 我和我哥巴瑞的兄弟时光 |
| [03:53] | with my brother Barry– | 基本上就是这样 |
| [03:54] | Until the day that changed everything. | 直到那天改变了一切 |
| [03:57] | Erica? It’s starting. Hurry up! | 爱丽卡 开始了 快点 |
| [04:00] | Get out. | 滚开 |
| [04:01] | You get out. “General hospital’s” On. | 你滚开 《综合医院》开始了 |
| [04:03] | – Lame. – Your puppet show’s any better? | -幼稚 -你的木偶戏就很成熟吗 |
| [04:06] | He’s not a puppet. He’s Alf. | 他不是木偶 他是阿福 |
| [04:09] | He eats cats and says what he thinks. | 他吃猫 还会说出自己的想法 |
| [04:10] | Hey, you taped it. You can watch it later. | 你录下来 你可以等下再看 |
| [04:12] | Hey, don’t touch it! I was here first! | 别碰 我先来的 |
| [04:14] | – Give me this! – rica, get down here! | -给我 -爱丽卡 快下来 |
| [04:17] | Come here. | 给我 |
| [04:20] | Dude! Stop! | 哥们 快停 |
| [04:21] | Don’t move. | 别动 |
| [04:23] | Do you see what I see? | 你看到的和我看到的一样吗 |
| [04:26] | I see it. | 我看到了 |
| [04:28] | Back in the day, | 在那个时候 |
| [04:29] | finding naughty adult stuff was impossible. | 找到儿童不宜的成人台是不可能的 |
| [04:31] | But somehow, we hit the right combo of bottons | 不知怎地 我们按对了电视盒上 |
| [04:34] | on our cable box and stumbled upon | 按钮的正确组合 偶然发现了 |
| [04:36] | a scrambled channel we didn’t pay for. | 我们没付费的加密频道 |
| [04:40] | Boobs. | 咪咪 |
| [04:41] | I see scrambled boobs. | 我看到了加密的咪咪 |
| [04:44] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [04:45] | Who’s ready to check into “General hospital”? | 谁准备好看《综合医院》了 |
| [04:47] | Um, I think I’m gonna watch “Alf” with Barry instead. | 我想和巴瑞看《家有阿福》 |
| [04:50] | “Alf”? What about Luke and Laura? | 《家有阿福》 为什么不看卢克和劳拉了 |
| [04:53] | He said he’s not interested! Now leave us be. | 他说他没兴趣 你快走开 |
| [04:55] | What the hell is going on? | 到底出什么事了 |
| [04:57] | Is Barry forcing you to be here? | 巴瑞强迫你在这里吗 |
| [04:59] | No, I’m here by choice. | 不 我是自愿的 |
| [05:01] | If you’re in trouble, blink. | 如果你有麻烦 眨眼 |
| [05:05] | Whatever. | 随便你 |
| [05:07] | Guess I’ll just watch it in my room. | 我在自己房里看吧 |
| [05:11] | No! | 不 |
| [05:13] | No! | 不 |
| [05:14] | No! It’s gone! What happened? | 没有了 怎么会这样 |
| [05:17] | Calm down. We just gotta retrace our steps. | 冷静 我们重演一次刚才的情形 |
| [05:19] | – Okay. – So, yeah, you go back there. Okay, | -好的 -对 你回到后面 |
| [05:21] | – So I grabbed it… – And then I came in– | -我拿到电视盒 -我过来 |
| [05:23] | I came in hard, though. | 我用力抢 |
| [05:25] | And then we shook it about. | 然后我们抢来抢去 |
| [05:26] | We were clicking, you were tugging with it. | 我们乱按按钮 你往那边拉 |
| [05:29] | “Uh, Erica, get down here.” | 爱丽卡 快下来 |
| [05:31] | Bang, bang. Oh–oh, there! We got it! | 砰砰 有了 出现了 |
| [05:34] | Good job, kid. | 做得好 孩子 |
| [05:36] | It was the first thing Barry and I ever bonded over. | 这是我和巴瑞第一件志同道合的事 |
| [05:40] | I could stay like this forever. Agreed? | 我愿意永远停留在这一刻 同意吗 |
| [05:43] | Agreed. | 同意 |
| [05:44] | For once in our lives, | 我们这辈子第一次 |
| [05:45] | we were on the same channel. | 步调一致了[相同频道] |
| [05:48] | All right. Your perfect woman. | 好啦 你的理想女性 |
| [05:52] | Ooh, here we go. | 开始吧 |
| [05:53] | Tell me everything. | 有话尽管说 |
| [05:54] | All right. For start– | 好的 首先 |
| [05:56] | I think she should be at least 5’2″, | 我想她的身高至少要有1米57 |
| [05:59] | With kind eyes, and age-appropriate but spry. | 和蔼的眼神 年纪合适 但是活泼 |
| [06:02] | Whoa, whoa. | 慢着 |
| [06:03] | Don’t I tell you what I want here? | 不是应该我告诉你我的要求吗 |
| [06:06] | Of course. | 当然了 |
| [06:07] | You’re gonna want someone with a great sense of humor. | 你会喜欢有幽默感的人 |
| [06:10] | not someone who steals the show, | 不是喧宾夺主那种 |
| [06:11] | but she should be sweet and cute | 但她应该是甜美可爱的 |
| [06:14] | And– and have a tush like two scoops of vanilla ice cream. | 屁屁要像两勺香草冰淇淋那样圆润 |
| [06:17] | – Dad! – Could be chocolate. | -爸 -也可以是巧克力 |
| [06:19] | Are you gonna take this seriously? | 你会认真对待这个问题吗 |
| [06:20] | I’m trying to, but you’re not letting me. | 我在尝试啊 但你不让 |
| [06:23] | Fine. Tell me what you want. | 好的 告诉我你的要求 |
| [06:24] | All right. | 好的 |
| [06:25] | She should be… | 她应该有 |
| [06:28] | Dangerous, | 危险性 |
| [06:29] | alluring, and smart. | 诱人 聪明 |
| [06:32] | Like, really smart. Mensa smart. | 非常聪明 智商高到能参加门萨国际 |
| [06:34] | But when it comes to making sensible decisions, | 但涉及到做出合理的决定时 |
| [06:38] | she should be kinda dumb. | 她又要变傻 |
| [06:39] | Smart but dumb? | 聪明 但是很傻 |
| [06:41] | So dumb. | 非常傻 |
| [06:43] | And she should have a slender dancer’s body | 她要拥有舞者的苗条身材 |
| [06:46] | and be bendy like a chinese acrobat. | 柔韧性要像中国的杂技演员 |
| [06:49] | – Bendy. – You know what would be nice? | -柔韧性 -知道什么不错吗 |
| [06:52] | Carly Simon’s lips. | 卡莉·西蒙的嘴唇[大嘴美女] |
| [06:54] | Put it down. Carly Simon lips. | 写下来 卡莉·西蒙的嘴唇 |
| [06:56] | I’m sorry. Are you involved in this? | 不好意思 你要参与吗 |
| [06:58] | You said to give him my honest opinion. | 你说了 要我说出真实想法 |
| [07:01] | That’s what I’m doing. | 我说的是真实想法 |
| [07:02] | How’s about this? | 这个怎么样 |
| [07:03] | Long hair, like a mermaid. | 长发 像美人鱼 |
| [07:06] | Boom! Write it up. | 正确 写下来 |
| [07:09] | She should be exotic, | 要有异国风情 |
| [07:10] | but not too exotic. | 但不能太过了 |
| [07:12] | A latin flavor, | 带点拉丁风情 |
| [07:14] | but it should be impossible to know | 但又不可能知道 |
| [07:16] | exactly where she comes from. | 她到底是哪个国家的人 |
| [07:18] | Impossible! | 不可能 |
| [07:19] | And we’re done. | 可以了 |
| [07:21] | If this is really the type of woman you want, | 如果这是你真心喜欢的类型 |
| [07:24] | then, damn it, I’m gonna find it. | 那么我认了 我会找到的 |
| [07:28] | I really wanna meet this woman. | 我真的很想见见这个女人 |
| [07:30] | Can you imagine? | 你可以想象吗 |
| [07:33] | Marriage is nice, too! | 我的婚姻很幸福 |
| [07:35] | For the next five days, my mom focused | 接下来五天 我妈集中精神 |
| [07:37] | on her biggest matchmaking challenge yet– | 面对她做媒生涯中的最大挑战 |
| [07:40] | Finding pops the perfect woman. | 为老爷子找理想女性 |
| [07:42] | 72 years old? Are you kidding me with this? | 72岁 你耍我是吧 |
| [07:45] | Well, I don’t care how good her wig looks, Ruth Applebaum. | 我不在乎她的假发多漂亮 露丝·埃坡邦 |
| [07:48] | Don’t you call me back until you’ve got a real lead. | 没有真正的美女就别打我电话 |
| [07:52] | Stop lurking. | 别鬼鬼祟祟的 |
| [07:54] | We’re having frozen pizza for dinner. | 晚饭吃冷冻披萨 |
| [07:55] | – Go pop one in the oven. – Frozen pizza? | -去在烤箱里热上一个 -冷冻披萨 |
| [07:58] | That’s the second time this week. | 这周第二次了 |
| [08:01] | Just know, six is my limit. | 告诉你一下 我的极限是六次 |
| [08:05] | I’m not stopping till I find my father the perfect woman. | 不给我父亲找到理想女性我是不会罢手的 |
| [08:08] | Bevy, | 贝弗 |
| [08:09] | you do realize that your dad’s just giving you busy work | 你应该知道你爸只是想让你有事忙 |
| [08:12] | to keep you off his back, right? | 这样你不用再烦他了 |
| [08:14] | I know that. Do you think I’m really looking | 我知道 你真的以为我在找一个 |
| [08:17] | for a smart but dumb chinese acrobat? | 又聪明又傻的中国杂技演员吗 |
| [08:19] | I hope so. | 我希望是的 |
| [08:20] | My father has given me the opportunity | 我父亲给我机会 |
| [08:22] | to find him his dream woman, | 为他找到他的理想对象 |
| [08:24] | so I’m gonna find him my dream woman. | 所以我会为他找到 我理想中他的对象 |
| [08:26] | Why? He’s having a blast. | 为什么 他现在可开心了 |
| [08:28] | Is he really happy? | 他真的开心吗 |
| [08:30] | Very happy! Happiest person I’ve ever seen. | 非常开心 我从没见过这么开心的人 |
| [08:33] | I know what’s best for my father, | 我知道什么是最适合我父亲的 |
| [08:35] | and it’s more than likely one of these 16 lovely ladies. | 而且很有可能是这16位可爱女士中的一位 |
| [08:39] | Turns out, my mom cast a wide net. | 原来 我妈已经广撒网了 |
| [08:43] | How about that? | 这个怎么样 |
| [08:45] | She was studying to be a cosmonaut. | 她以前曾为成为宇航员学习 |
| [08:48] | You don’t see that every day. | 这样的可不好碰到 |
| [08:52] | Barry and I spent the next three days | 接下来三天巴瑞和我 |
| [08:53] | staring at the boob tube. | 盯着电视[也有文胸的意思] |
| [08:55] | And while the quality time was nice, | 虽然这种兄弟时光很不错 |
| [08:56] | it came with a price. | 但代价也不小 |
| [08:58] | I’ve had this migraine that won’t go away. | 我的偏头痛怎么也好不了 |
| [09:01] | Seriously? Me, too. | 真的吗 我也是 |
| [09:03] | Maybe squinting at the tv for hours at a time | 也许斜着眼睛看几小时电视 |
| [09:06] | just isn’t so good for our brains. | 对我们的大脑不太好 |
| [09:09] | I fell down at school today. | 今天我在学校摔倒了 |
| [09:12] | I had a scrambled dream last night. | 我昨晚的梦境都是加密的 |
| [09:15] | Maybe we should take a break. | 也许我们该休息下 |
| [09:17] | Are you insane? | 你疯了吗 |
| [09:19] | We gotta take this to the next level, bro. | 我们应该更进一步 兄弟 |
| [09:21] | – How? – I know this dude | -怎么做 -我认识一哥们 |
| [09:23] | who knows this other dude who went up to the roof | 认识另一哥们 这哥们上了屋顶 |
| [09:25] | and got every channel by jamming a pair of tweezers | 他把一个小镊子塞进了天线什么的 |
| [09:28] | into the antenna thingy. | 想看什么频道都有 |
| [09:29] | It sounds like a great idea! | 听起来是个好主意 |
| [09:31] | So it’s settled. Next time we’re home alone, | 就这么说定了 下次就我们在家时 |
| [09:33] | you’ll go up to the roof, | 你上屋顶 |
| [09:34] | and I’ll stay down here and see if it works. | 我在下面看管不管用 |
| [09:36] | – Why do I have to go? – ’cause you have tiny little fingers | -为什么是我上去 -因为你的指头细 |
| [09:38] | that make it easy to get into places | 容易找到地方 |
| [09:40] | and poke at live electrical wires. | 戳戳电线什么的 |
| [09:42] | You’re making a lot of sense today. | 你今天说的话特别有道理 |
| [09:43] | Listen. No matter what happens, | 听着 无论怎样 |
| [09:45] | we gotta keep this quiet | 这事我们得保密 |
| [09:47] | – and not attract any attention. – Agreed. | -不得引起任何人的注意 -同意 |
| [09:52] | What’s happening? What’s going on here? | 出什么事了 这怎么回事 |
| [09:53] | What? Nothing. | 怎么啦 没什么 |
| [09:55] | Can’t two best bros do a wolf puzzle in peace? | 感情好的两兄弟就不能安静地玩拼图吗 |
| [09:57] | You guys broke something, you killed somebody– | 你们打破了什么 杀了什么人 |
| [10:00] | Something’s going on. | 肯定出事了 |
| [10:01] | Off to our big double date. | 出发参加双对约会 |
| [10:03] | Burned through $100 in international phone calls, | 打国际长途烧了我百元大钞 |
| [10:05] | but I found pops a perfect dream woman, | 但我为老爷子找到了完美的理想女性 |
| [10:07] | So wish me luck. | 祝我好运吧 |
| [10:08] | I mean, wish pops luck. Not that he needs any luck. | 祝老爷子好运 不是说他需要好运 |
| [10:11] | He’s always getting lucky. Not like that. | 他总是很好运[泡妞上床] 不是那种意思 |
| [10:13] | I’ve had some iced wine. | 我喝了些冰葡萄酒 |
| [10:14] | I’m excited! How’s my hair? | 我好激动 我的发型还好吗 |
| [10:16] | Hey, dad. | 爸 |
| [10:18] | Uh… Do me a favor. | 帮我个忙 |
| [10:20] | Watch the morons tonight. | 今晚盯着这对白痴 |
| [10:23] | – What do I get out of it? – Your dad’s gratitude. | -我能得到什么 -你爸的感激之情 |
| [10:25] | – So nothing? – 20 bucks. | -什么好处也没有吗 -20块 |
| [10:28] | Love you, daddy. | 爱你哦 老爸 |
| [10:29] | – Okay. – Okay! | -好的 -好的 |
| [10:31] | Have fun, boys! | 玩得开心点 孩子们 |
| [10:33] | Be safe. | 要安全哦 |
| [10:34] | – Oh, we will. – Safety first. | -会的 -安全第一 |
| [10:38] | Falcon has eyes on the target. | 猎鹰发现目标 |
| [10:40] | I repeat– | 重复 |
| [10:42] | Falcon is closing in. | 猎鹰接近目标 |
| [10:43] | Whoa, wait. I wanted to be Falcon. | 等等 我想做猎鹰 |
| [10:45] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [10:47] | Golden eagle is on the move. | 金雕开始行动 |
| [10:48] | Oh, man, that’s way better. I’m that! | 老天 这个更好 我要这个 |
| [10:51] | Just pick a name! | 选个名字吧 |
| [10:53] | Fine! | 好的 |
| [10:54] | I’m golden falcon… Shark. Over. | 我是金鹰鲨鱼 完毕 |
| [10:59] | 10-4. | 收到 |
| [11:02] | I’m okay. I’m okay. | 我没事 我没事 |
| [11:03] | It’s kind of steep up here. Over. | 屋顶太陡 完毕 |
| [11:05] | Be careful. I love you. | 小心些 我爱你 |
| [11:07] | I mean… Never mind. Over. | 我是说 随便啦 完毕 |
| [11:09] | It’s okay. It’s out there now. | 没事 已经说出来了 |
| [11:11] | I love you, too. | 我也爱你 |
| [11:12] | Whatever. | 随便啦 |
| [11:13] | Over. | 完毕 |
| [11:16] | All right. | 好了 |
| [11:17] | I-I’m tweezing the antenna thing. | 我在用镊子夹天线 |
| [11:19] | See anything? | 看到什么了吗 |
| [11:21] | No. Still scrambled. | 没 还是加密的 |
| [11:23] | Try jamming your tweezer in there as hard as you can. | 试着用全力把镊子往里面塞 |
| [11:26] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [11:27] | How about now?! | 现在呢 |
| [11:31] | Still getting nothing. | 还是没有 |
| [11:33] | Tweeze harder. | 用力塞镊子 |
| [11:35] | As our plan was going up in flames, | 咱们的计划毁于一旦时 |
| [11:37] | Pops’ night was about to be smoking hot. | 老爷子的夜晚马上就要急剧升温 |
| [11:40] | My mom had searched every tennis club, | 我妈搜索了三州区所有的网球俱乐部 |
| [11:42] | country club, and book club in the tri-state area, | 乡村俱乐部 读书俱乐部 |
| [11:44] | and tracked down pops’ dream woman. | 终于找到了老爷子的理想女性 |
| [11:48] | Sophia. I’m so sorry. | 索菲娅 真是对不起 |
| [11:51] | My dad’s running late, but this is my husband Murray. | 我爸迟了些 这是我丈夫默里 |
| [11:53] | It’s a pleasure to meet you. | 很高兴认识你 |
| [11:55] | – You, too. – So, uh, are you from around here. | -幸会 -你是这里人吗 |
| [11:58] | No. No small talk. We’ll, uh… | 不用闲聊 我们 |
| [12:00] | We’ll cover all that when my dad gets here. | 我们等我爸来了后再聊 |
| [12:02] | – All right. – Okay. | -好吧 -好的 |
| [12:10] | Well, I guess a little small talk is okay. | 我想闲聊一下也无妨 |
| [12:12] | – Do you like sangria? – I love it. | -你喜欢桑格里亚酒吗 -我爱喝 |
| [12:14] | I’m gonna order some sangria. | 我要点桑格里亚酒 |
| [12:15] | – I love sangria. – Oh. Okay. | -我爱喝桑格里亚酒 -好的 |
| [12:18] | Two sangrias, please? | 两杯桑格里亚酒 |
| [12:19] | – I’d love a sangria. – Okay. | -我也想喝桑格里亚酒 -好的 |
| [12:20] | Three sangrias. I’m sorry. | 三杯桑格里亚酒 对不起 |
| [12:22] | – Beverly Goldberg? – Yes. | -您是贝弗莉·金伯格吗 -是的 |
| [12:24] | There’s a phone call for you. | 有电话找您 |
| [12:25] | Oh. Must be my dad. | 肯定是我爸 |
| [12:27] | I’ll be back in a jiff. | 我马上回来 |
| [12:29] | Don’t forget the sangrias. | 别忘了桑格里亚酒 |
| [12:31] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [12:32] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [12:33] | Hey, honey, uh, | 亲爱的 |
| [12:34] | I’m afraid I’m not gonna be able to make it tonight. | 我想我今晚去不了了 |
| [12:37] | I’m feeling a little under the weather. | 我不太舒服 |
| [12:39] | Dad, you promised. | 爸 你保证过的 |
| [12:41] | Down some aspirin and get over here. | 吃点阿司匹林 然后过来 |
| [12:44] | I think it’s better I stay home tonight. | 我想今晚我待在家比较好 |
| [12:48] | What’s that? | 那是什么 |
| [12:50] | Oh, uh, uh, I threw on a record. | 我放了张唱片 |
| [12:53] | You know me. Jazz is my medicine. | 你知道我这人 爵士乐能治好我的病 |
| [12:55] | Are you at Dexter’s? | 你在德克斯特酒吧吗 |
| [12:57] | No! Don’t be ridiculous! | 不 别这么可笑 |
| [12:59] | Please give a warm Dexter’s welcome | 德克斯特酒吧热烈欢迎 |
| [13:01] | to the shorty flanders trio! | 小个子佛兰德斯三重唱 |
| [13:03] | Dad, we had a deal! Don’t you dare stand me up! | 爸 我们说好了 不准放我鸽子 |
| [13:06] | Sweetie, it’s not you, it’s me. | 宝贝 不是你的问题 是我 |
| [13:09] | Don’t you give me one of your lines. | 别拿你应付女人的台词应付我 |
| [13:11] | I’d better get to bed. | 我要睡觉了 |
| [13:13] | I-I have an early meeting in the morning. | 我明天一早要开会 |
| [13:15] | A meeting? You’re retired 20 years. | 开会 你已经退休二十年了 |
| [13:18] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [13:20] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [13:25] | Are you single? | 你单身吗 |
| [13:27] | I know the most handsome attorney. | 我认识一位非常帅的律师 |
| [13:29] | Are you crazy? | 你疯了吗 |
| [13:31] | Why the hell were you on the roof? | 你上屋顶搞什么鬼 |
| [13:32] | Roof? Who was on the roof? | 屋顶 谁上屋顶了 |
| [13:34] | No one fell off the roof. | 没人从屋顶上掉下来 |
| [13:36] | I fell off nothing onto nothing. | 我没从什么掉到什么上面 |
| [13:37] | Enough, okay? Someone better start talking right now. | 够了 你们谁先老实交待 |
| [13:40] | Listen. I know dad is paying you 20 bucks to watch us. | 听着 我知道爸给了你20块监视我们 |
| [13:44] | I have something even better to make you look the other way. | 我有更好的东西 让你装没看见 |
| [13:49] | A library card? | 借书证 |
| [13:51] | Walk away. | 别管了 |
| [13:53] | Okay, you two have been acting like best friends… | 好了 你们两个突然好得跟什么似的 |
| [13:55] | all week, and it’s creeping me out, | 整整一周了 让我觉得毛骨悚然 |
| [13:57] | so tell me what the hell is going on. | 告诉我到底出什么事了 |
| [13:59] | Even if we had something to hide, | 就算我们有事要隐瞒 |
| [14:01] | – which we don’t… – We don’t. | -我们没有 -我们没有 |
| [14:02] | – We’d never rat each other out. Never. – Never. | -我们永远也不会出卖兄弟 -永远不会 |
| [14:08] | What the hell was that? | 你们在搞什么 |
| [14:10] | You have a coordinated handshake now? | 你们现在握手都有自己的一套了吗 |
| [14:11] | That’s what brothers do. | 兄弟就是这样 |
| [14:12] | It’s a bond even you can’t break. | 这种兄弟情连你也没办法破坏 |
| [14:15] | Fine. Then I’ll just tell mom. | 好的 那我只能跟妈妈告状了 |
| [14:23] | Okay, it was Adam’s idea, okay? | 好吧 这是亚当的主意 |
| [14:25] | He was the one who found the naked channel | 一开始就是他找到 |
| [14:26] | in the first place, then he got greedy and wanted more, | 裸体频道的 然后他变得贪心想看更多 |
| [14:29] | so he went to the roof. It was all him! | 所以他上了屋顶 都是他的错 |
| [14:31] | Are you kidding me?! | 你开什么玩笑 |
| [14:32] | Don’t drag me down with you, perv! | 别拉我下水 你这个小变态 |
| [14:34] | You got problems, man! You got serious problems! | 你有问题 小子 你有很严重的问题 |
| [14:38] | Son of a– | 你个狗… |
| [14:39] | I was furious my brother sold me out so easily, | 我哥如此轻易地出卖我让我震怒 |
| [14:41] | and I’d let him know with a swift punch to the arm. | 我打算以快拳揍胳膊让他明白这点 |
| [14:46] | Or not. It was a total accident, | 或揍其它部位 那完全是一个意外 |
| [14:48] | but, oh, that didn’t matter. | 但是 不重要了 |
| [14:50] | Never once had we punched face. | 我们从来没揍过脸 |
| [14:51] | A threshold had been crossed, | 跨过了这道门槛 |
| [14:53] | and there was no going back now. | 现在回不了头了 |
| [14:55] | You punched my face? | 你打了我的脸 |
| [14:58] | It was an accident! I was aiming for your arm. | 这是意外 我本想打你的胳膊 |
| [15:00] | Come on, golden falcon shark. | 别这样 金鹰鲨鱼 |
| [15:01] | It’s me. We have the brother bond, right? | 是我啊 我们有兄弟情 对吗 |
| [15:05] | I’m gonna punch your face so hard! | 我要把你的脸揍开花 |
| [15:07] | – No, no, no, no, no, no! – Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! | -不要打 -打死你 |
| [15:09] | While I was on the run, | 我逃命的同时 |
| [15:10] | pops was just getting settled for the night. | 老爷子的夜晚渐入佳境 |
| [15:17] | Ahh. Muy bueno. | 太棒了 |
| [15:18] | Okay. Fun’s over. You have a date to keep. | 找乐子结束了 你还要约会呢 |
| [15:21] | Ooh. This is some real bad timing. | 现在可不是好时机 |
| [15:24] | See, I’m already on a date. Uh, two, actually. | 瞧 我已经在约会了 事实上有两个 |
| [15:27] | Stella and Lucy. | 斯黛拉和露西 |
| [15:29] | – Sandra. – Lorraine. | -桑德拉 -洛瑞 |
| [15:31] | Well, whoever you are, please excuse us. | 无论叫什么 我们失陪了 |
| [15:34] | I gotta start bringing some nametags. | 我得开始带名牌了 |
| [15:36] | Do you know how much time it took me to find you | 你知道我花了多少时间才为你今晚 |
| [15:39] | an amazing woman for tonight? | 找到理想女性吗 |
| [15:40] | Well, I found two so-so women in no time. | 我不费力就找到了两个普通女性 |
| [15:43] | Stop working so hard. | 别再这么努力了 |
| [15:45] | Forget it. | 算了 |
| [15:46] | If you want to waste your time with women half your age | 如果你想把时间浪费在年纪小你一半 |
| [15:48] | in a pit that smells like a shoe, have at it. | 腋窝一股鞋臭的女人身上 随便你 |
| [15:51] | Oh, don’t be like that. | 别这样 |
| [15:53] | It’s just a date. There’ll be others. | 这只是一次约会 我还换女人的 |
| [15:55] | No, there won’t be. | 不 不会了 |
| [15:57] | Sophia was perfect, and you blew it. | 索菲娅那么完美 你却搞砸了 |
| [15:59] | All I wanted was to find you someone | 我只想为你找到一个女人 |
| [16:01] | who will love you and make you happy. | 她爱你能令你开心 |
| [16:03] | – Yeah, well, that’s not what I want. – Why not? | -我不想要 -为什么 |
| [16:06] | Because I already had that with your mother. | 因为这一切你母亲已经给我了 |
| [16:10] | Go home, Bev, please. | 回家吧 贝弗 求你了 |
| [16:19] | Come on, Adam! You can’t hide forever. | 出来吧 亚当 你不可能躲一辈子 |
| [16:21] | Can’t you please just forget this ever happened? | 求你忘掉这事行吗 |
| [16:23] | No! You’ve broken the unspoken agreement. | 不 你打破了不言而喻的协议 |
| [16:27] | We do not punch face. | 我们不打脸的 |
| [16:28] | You never told me that! | 你从来没告诉过我 |
| [16:29] | It was unspoken! | 都说了是不言而喻的 |
| [16:31] | But the line has been crossed, and there’s no going back! | 底线已经跨过 不能回头了 |
| [16:34] | Starting now, it’s all face punches, all the time! | 从现在开始 我们只打脸 |
| [16:38] | Adam, come out. He’s not gonna punch you in the face. | 亚当 出来吧 他不会打你脸的 |
| [16:41] | Nice. You lure him out, | 不错 你骗他出来 |
| [16:42] | and I’ll cold-cock him in the eyeball. | 我一拳揍他眼珠子上 |
| [16:44] | – I heard that! – Okay, you got me. I give up. | -我听到了 -被你拆穿了 我放弃了 |
| [16:47] | You’ll go downstairs with him. | 你和他一起下楼 |
| [16:49] | – I’ll jump out and– – I still hear you! | -我跳出来 -我还是听到了 |
| [16:51] | Just open the door. Trust me, | 开门吧 相信我 |
| [16:52] | Barry doesn’t have the guts to punch you in the eyeball. | 巴瑞没胆子打你眼珠子 |
| [16:54] | I do, too, have the guts. | 我有胆子 |
| [16:56] | I’m, like, 90% gut. | 我好歹90%像个男人 |
| [16:59] | Fine. The unspoken rule has been broken. | 好吧 不言而喻的协议被打破了 |
| [17:04] | Do what you have to do. | 你想打就打吧 |
| [17:05] | Yes. | 好的 |
| [17:07] | Here it comes. Brace your face. | 来啦 脸稳住了 |
| [17:11] | Here comes the hammer. | 重拳来啦 |
| [17:14] | It’s punch time! | 开揍啦 |
| [17:18] | – Damn it. – Told you. | -见鬼 -我说了吧 |
| [17:21] | So… | 那么 |
| [17:24] | Do you wanna watch scrambled girls? | 你想看加密的女生吗 |
| [17:26] | Nah. | 算了 |
| [17:27] | Kinda over it. | 已经有些腻了 |
| [17:29] | Yeah, me, too. | 我也是 |
| [17:31] | For the record, it wasn’t just about the boobs for me. | 声明一下 我并不是只为了看咪咪 |
| [17:35] | It was just cool hanging out with you. | 和你一起玩很有意思 |
| [17:39] | Had its moments. | 有些不错的回忆 |
| [17:40] | From that moment on, there was something different between us. | 从那一刻开始 我们的兄弟关系有些不同了 |
| [17:44] | I went from Barry’s annoying little brother… | 我从巴瑞烦人的小兄弟 |
| [17:46] | To his friend. | 变成了他的朋友 |
| [17:48] | Then I’ll see you in a few days. | 过些天我再找你 |
| [17:57] | Hey, sweetie. | 亲爱的 |
| [18:01] | Everyone alive? | 大家都活着吗 |
| [18:02] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [18:03] | Uh, nothing crazy to report. | 他们没做什么傻事 |
| [18:23] | Mind if I hang out for a bit? | 介意我坐下聊会儿吗 |
| [18:25] | What happened to your date? | 你的约会对象呢 |
| [18:28] | Eh, wasn’t feeling it. | 没感觉 |
| [18:31] | Look. | 听我说 |
| [18:34] | I know you worked hard to find someone for me, | 我知道你很辛苦帮我找理想女性 |
| [18:37] | and I’m sorry I bailed. | 很抱歉我没去 |
| [18:40] | I’m sorry, too. | 我也很抱歉 |
| [18:43] | You were right. I always mix in, | 你是对的 我总想插手 |
| [18:44] | and I think I know what’s best for everyone. | 自以为知道 对别人来说什么是最适合的 |
| [18:47] | But I mean well. | 但我是一番好意 |
| [18:49] | And that’s the only thing that makes it okay, honey. | 只有是好意时 才能胡乱插手 亲爱的 |
| [18:53] | It makes sense now why you never get serious with anyone. | 现在我明白了你为什么对谁都不认真 |
| [18:57] | They’re just… Not mom. | 那些人 都不是妈妈 |
| [19:02] | She was one of a kind. | 她是独一无二的 |
| [19:05] | Yeah, she was. | 她是的 |
| [19:09] | I just wanted you to have someone you loved | 我只是希望你能和你爱的人一起 |
| [19:11] | to make new memories with. | 创造新的回忆 |
| [19:13] | That’s what you guys are for. | 你们不就这作用吗 |
| [19:19] | Well, just promise me you won’t close yourself off forever. | 跟我保证你不会永远封闭自己 |
| [19:24] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [19:25] | But you promise me no more setups. | 但你得保证 别再为我安排相亲了 |
| [19:29] | Deal. | 成交 |
| [19:33] | But when it came to matchmaking, | 但涉及到做媒这个问题时 |
| [19:35] | my mom couldn’t help herself. | 我妈是无法控制自己的 |
| [19:39] | My god, what a coincidence. It’s sophia. | 我的天 好巧啊 是索菲娅 |
| [19:43] | You are unbelievable. | 你真令人难以置信 |
| [19:45] | Although she does have Carly Simon lips. | 不过她的确有卡莉·西蒙的嘴唇 |
| [19:47] | – Am I good, or what? – Not bad. | -我是不是很厉害 -不差嘛 |
| [19:50] | I’m probably gonna need to cancel my morning meeting. | 我可能要取消明早的会议了 |
| [19:58] | While my mom found pops a new connection, | 我妈为老爷子找到了新的感情寄托 |
| [20:00] | Barry and I went back to our old routine, | 巴瑞和我又恢复了旧日的打闹习惯 |
| [20:02] | although now there was a little more respect. | 不过现在打闹中多了一分尊敬 |
| [20:05] | My glasses! | 我的眼镜 |
| [20:09] | Why are you hitting yourself? | 你为什么打你自己 |
| [20:10] | Why are you hitting yourself? | 你为什么打你自己 |
| [20:32] | My perfect girl? | 我的理想女性 |
| [20:33] | Well, she should have big blue eyes, | 要有大大的蓝眼睛 |
| [20:35] | and big blonde hair. | 长长的金色头发 |
| [20:36] | Mmm, she sounds fun. | 她听起来很有趣 |
| [20:38] | She shouldn’t be afraid to speak her mind, you know? | 她不必害怕说出心中的想法 |
| [20:40] | I mean, she should have a sensitive side, | 她要有感性的一面 |
| [20:43] | but still be a hard-ass. | 但依然要是个铁娘子 |
| [20:44] | Oh! Sit up straight, honey. | 坐直了 亲爱的 |
| [20:46] | And I want her to take care of me. | 我希望她能照顾我 |
| [20:49] | Cook, pick up my stuff, | 做饭 收拾我的东西 |
| [20:51] | make me hot pockets. | 给我热冰冻馅饼 |
| [20:53] | By the way, thank you for the hot pocket. | 对了 多谢你帮我热冰冻馅饼 |
| [20:55] | All right, and I’m on the case | 好啦 我这就去为我家 |
| [20:56] | for my sweet, handsome, delicious boy. | 可爱帅气的儿子物色女友 |
| [21:01] | You know you just described mom. | 你知道你刚才描述的是妈妈吗 |
| [21:04] | What? I did n–oh, my god! | 什么 我才没有 我的娘啊 |
| [21:07] | Mom! I meant a brunette who doesn’t cook at all! | 妈 我是说要深色头发 完全不做饭 |
| [21:10] | And she’s gotta be super shy and not related to me at all! | 她得超级害羞 不能是咱家亲戚 |