| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Thirty seconds left! | 还剩30秒 |
| [00:01] | Come on! | 加油 |
| [00:02] | It’s a butterfly! | 是只蝴蝶 |
| [00:04] | It’s Mariah Carey’s lower back butterfly tattoo. | 玛利亚·凯莉后背的蝴蝶纹身 |
| [00:06] | Yes! | 没错 |
| [00:08] | Well done, John. | 干得漂亮 约翰 |
| [00:09] | And because you guessed correctly, | 因为你猜对了 |
| [00:11] | watch what happens. | 瞧瞧看你的奖励吧 |
| [00:20] | I should’ve gotten that sooner. | 我早该猜出来 |
| [00:21] | I wrote my college thesis on that back tattoo. | 我毕业论文的主题就是牛姐的后背纹身 |
| [00:23] | Yes, because remember, every picture from tonight | 没错 记住喔 今晚你画我猜的内容 |
| [00:26] | will have something to do with your lives on Earth, | 都与各位在地球的生活息息相关 |
| [00:28] | so you can get to know each other a little bit better. | 这样也好加深对彼此的了解 |
| [00:30] | Okay, Blue Team, you’re up. | 该蓝队了 |
| [00:31] | Go get ’em, chippy. | 让他们尝尝你的厉害 “奇迪鼠” |
| [00:32] | Chidi, it’s your turn. | 奇迪 该你了 |
| [00:34] | I’m a pretty decent artist, | 我画工还算不错 |
| [00:36] | but I’m not so great under pressure. | 但一紧张就玩完 |
| [00:37] | Your time begins now. | 计时开始 |
| [00:39] | Boy. Okay. | 措手不及啊 好吧 |
| [00:42] | – You got this, Chidi. – I’m sorry. | -你能行 奇迪 -抱歉 |
| [00:44] | I’m just trying to figure out how to start. | 容我想想怎么下笔 |
| [00:45] | Come on. Just start drawing, my brotha. | 画就是了 老弟 |
| [00:47] | No. | 别啊 |
| [00:48] | No, no, no, no. No, no, no. | 完了完了完了 没戏了 |
| [00:50] | No. | 输定了 |
| [00:51] | – 30 seconds! – Okay, here we go. | -还剩30秒 -我这就画 |
| [00:56] | It’s a submarine. | 潜艇 |
| [00:57] | Looks like broccoli with teeth. | 像是长牙的西蓝花 |
| [00:59] | It’s a horse with a bow on its neck. | 是一匹背着弓箭的马 |
| [01:02] | Is it my childhood pony, Daisy? | 是我童年时的小马 黛西吗 |
| [01:03] | Yes! | 没错 |
| [01:06] | No. | 坏了 |
| [01:07] | No! | 快跑啊 |
| [01:14] | What have I done? | 我干了什么啊 |
| [01:15] | You made a freakin’ Frankenstein, man. | 你神笔马良上身 变了一匹怪物出来啊 |
| [01:16] | Okay, okay, okay. You know what? | 好了好了 这样吧 |
| [01:19] | Magic Pictionary is over now, | “你画我猜魔法夜”到此结束 |
| [01:20] | so let’s all go home and get some sleep. | 各回各家 好好休息吧 |
| [01:22] | You guys want me to kill it? I’ve shot a lot of race horses. | 要我帮忙处理掉吗 江湖人称我为”赛马终结者” |
| [01:26] | Okay. | 动手吧 |
| [01:34] | Fork me. That was a disaster. | 他喵的 简直是场灾难 |
| [01:37] | How did that go so wrong? | 怎么会搞得一团糟呢 |
| [01:38] | Well, for one thing, Brent got super wasted. | 要我说 布兰特喝得烂醉 |
| [01:40] | We should’ve cut him off. | 我们就不该对他有求必应 |
| [01:42] | Nobody gets cut off in the Good Place. | 善地对人一向来者不拒 |
| [01:43] | If he asks for beer, I give him a beer. | 他要啤酒 给他就是了 |
| [01:45] | I’m just glad he stopped asking me to go to dinner | 幸好他不再缠着跟我约饭 |
| [01:47] | so we could discuss my career. | 非要跟我谈谈工作了 |
| [01:49] | Man, we haven’t done a successful activity in, like, three weeks. | 天呐 我们连续三周事事不顺心 |
| [01:52] | We’re ice cold. | 一事无成啊 |
| [01:53] | Guys, give yourself a break. They’re getting better. | 各位 别对自己太严格 他们有改进啊 |
| [01:55] | Brent stopped saying “daddy like” all the time. | 布兰特不再张口闭口就是”本大爷”了 |
| [01:58] | That’s something. | 这也是进步啊 |
| [01:59] | Something feels off. | 不太对劲 |
| [02:00] | All right, we need new ideas. | 我们得另想它法 |
| [02:02] | I say we hole up here for an all‐night brainstorming session. | 要不今晚就别睡了 集思广益想办法 |
| [02:04] | Now just hang on. | 听我一句 |
| [02:05] | We’re working really hard, | 我们一直很拼 |
| [02:07] | and we need to relax occasionally, | 也得偶尔放松一下啊 |
| [02:09] | or we’re gonna just burn out. | 不然就油尽灯枯了 |
| [02:10] | So let’s just, you know, | 要不这样吧 |
| [02:12] | clear our brain, watch a movie, or‐‐ | 我们看部电影醒醒脑 |
| [02:14] | We’ll have a slumber party. | 要不办睡衣趴吧 |
| [02:19] | What the fork? | 他喵的什么情况 |
| [02:29] | Whoever you are, show yourself. | 来者何人 速速交代 |
| [02:37] | Hold on. | 稍等 |
| [02:38] | The hood is caught in my glasses. | 帽子被眼镜挂住了 |
| [02:43] | I’m Glenn from the Bad Place. | 我叫格伦 来自恶地 |
| [02:46] | What are you doing here? | 你来干什么 |
| [02:47] | Yeah, what do you want, creep? | 你想怎样 “死变态” |
| [02:48] | No one knows I’m here, | 没人知道我来 |
| [02:50] | and I have some important information. | 我掌握了重要信息 |
| [02:52] | Eleanor, I need to speak with you alone. | 埃莉诺 我得跟你单独聊聊 |
| [02:54] | Whatever you need to say to me, you can say right here. | 想说什么 直说就是了 |
| [02:57] | I don’t think I should. | 不妥吧 |
| [02:59] | It would lead to a very uncomfortable social situation. | 当众说 大家都尴尬 |
| [03:02] | Say it. | 快说 |
| [03:04] | That’s not Michael. | 那不是迈克尔 |
| [03:05] | That’s Vicky the Demon in a Michael suit. | 而是披着迈克尔皮的薇琪 |
| [03:08] | And she’s sabotaging your experiment. | 她一直在给你们捣乱 |
| [03:13] | You see? It’s uncomfortable. | 我就说吧 大家都会很尴尬 |
| [03:16] | All right, just sit there quietly until we sort all this out. | 我们没搞清状况前 你老实待在这儿 |
| [03:19] | If it’s not too much trouble, | 方便的话 |
| [03:20] | could I get a hot glass of pig urine? | 能给我一杯热猪尿吗 |
| [03:23] | We need to talk. | 我们得谈谈 |
| [03:24] | Or‐‐I’m not picky. | 我不挑 |
| [03:26] | Whatever urine you have is fine. | 我对尿液来者不拒 |
| [03:28] | Eleanor, you have to believe me. | 埃莉诺 你得信我啊 |
| [03:30] | I’m Michael. He’s lying. | 我真是迈克尔 他骗你呢 |
| [03:32] | Calm down, dude. | 淡定 老哥 |
| [03:34] | I trust you. | 我信你 |
| [03:36] | But I’m gonna make Glenn think I don’t trust you. | 但我要装作不信你 好骗过格伦 |
| [03:38] | Somehow this has to be related to the problems we’ve been having here. | 他此次前来必然与我们实验碰壁有关 |
| [03:41] | And we need to figure out what game they’re playing. | 我们得搞清他们到底在打什么鬼主意 |
| [03:43] | That’s good. | 好主意 |
| [03:44] | I like the way you think, Shellstrop. | 你真是太机智了 谢尔斯卓普 |
| [03:46] | I mean, | 不对 |
| [03:47] | I hate the way you think, Shellstrop! | 你脑子进水了吗 谢尔斯卓普 |
| [03:50] | Is he buying it? | 骗过他了吗 |
| [03:51] | He’s not looking. | 他根本没注意我们 |
| [03:53] | I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, | 我一定会对你知无不言 |
| [03:55] | but shouldn’t we call The Judge? | 但是不是法官在场比较好 |
| [03:56] | We’re not calling anyone until we figure some things out. | 没搞清状况前 我们绝不会轻举妄动 |
| [03:58] | We have questions. | 我们有问题问你 |
| [03:59] | Yeah, for example, if you’re a devil, how come you’re not wearing Prada? | 没错 比如 既然你是恶魔 怎么会不穿普拉达呢 |
| [04:04] | Caramel! | 从天而降的牛奶糖哎 |
| [04:06] | Why would you help us? | 你为何要帮我们 |
| [04:07] | One day, you’re flattening penises, | 前一秒还是压扁小鸡鸡的恶魔 |
| [04:09] | and the next, you just decide to defect? | 一转眼就改邪归正了 |
| [04:11] | Actually, one of my jobs was to reinflate the penises | 其实我负责给小鸡鸡充气 |
| [04:14] | so they could get flattened again. | 以便反反复复将其压扁 |
| [04:16] | It doesn’t matter. | “恶魔”不提当年勇 |
| [04:16] | Listen, I loved torturing humans | 我之前以折磨人类为享受 |
| [04:18] | because I thought they deserved it. | 因为我本以为他们是罪有应得 |
| [04:21] | They said everyone in the Bad Place was evil and beyond repair. | 据说 恶地的人类都十恶不赦 不知悔改 |
| [04:23] | I don’t know if I believe that anymore. | 可我现在动摇了 |
| [04:26] | Also, Shawn is so mean, you guys. | 况且 肖恩像吃了枪药 |
| [04:29] | He yells at me all the time. | 他总吼我 |
| [04:31] | It’s, like, unnecessary. | 有必要那么凶吗 |
| [04:33] | I feel you, dog. I was yelled at my whole life. | 我懂 我以前也总被吼 |
| [04:36] | People were always like, | 大家总是凶巴巴 |
| [04:38] | “You didn’t pay for that!” “How do you plead?” | 说我不付钱 质疑我狡辩 |
| [04:40] | “He’s flatlining!” “Clear!” | 就连我没心跳了 他们还在吼 |
| [04:42] | Okay, well, if that’s Vicky, what’s the Bad Place’s plan? | 假设那是薇琪 恶地在打什么算盘 |
| [04:46] | To sow chaos‐‐turn you guys against each other, | 制造混乱 挑拨离间 |
| [04:48] | ruin the experiment. | 破坏实验 |
| [04:50] | Also, I have proof that’s not Michael. | 我能证明那不是迈克尔 |
| [04:51] | Here are pictures of Vicky wearing the Michael suit. | 我有薇琪身披迈克尔皮的照片 |
| [04:55] | This doesn’t prove anything. | 这算什么证据 |
| [04:56] | These could just be pictures of the real Michael. | 说不准你就是拿迈克尔的照片唬我们呢 |
| [04:59] | They’re real. | 绝对不是”照骗” |
| [05:00] | I know because I helped make the suit. | 我很确定 因为是我一手打造了”迈克尔皮” |
| [05:03] | I couldn’t figure out how to make it contain your demon essence, | 这身皮无法容纳你的恶魔精髓 |
| [05:06] | so you’ll have to wear it over the Vicky suit. | 所以你得穿着自己的皮再套上迈克尔的皮 |
| [05:09] | Really? You’re the worst, Glenn. | 不是吧 你这个废物 格伦 |
| [05:11] | Let’s do it. Zip her up. | 就这样吧 披上吧 |
| [05:13] | Okay, but if I melt, | 好吧 但我要是融化了 |
| [05:15] | I am gonna be, like, so annoyed. | 薇琪一生气 后果很严重喔 |
| [05:24] | Pretty well‐made. | 手工不错 |
| [05:25] | I can really feel all the musty skin folds, and‐‐ | 浑身皱纹做得太逼真了 |
| [05:28] | and the dangly bits. | 丁丁触感也很真实呢 |
| [05:30] | The voice is perfect. | 声音简直一模一样 |
| [05:32] | You sound so much like him, I want to punch you. | 太像本尊了 我都忍不住手痒要揍你了 |
| [05:34] | Are we sure it’s okay that we made this? | 这样做确定没问题吗 |
| [05:36] | I mean, what are you gonna use it for? | 有什么用途呢 |
| [05:38] | What are you gonna use it‐‐ shut up, Glenn. | 快别逼逼了 格伦 |
| [05:40] | The experiment is about to begin. | 实验就要开始了 |
| [05:42] | Let’s call the real Michael | 把真迈克尔叫来吧 |
| [05:43] | and send him spiraling down the toilet bowl like the pinched turd he is. | 把那个粪球冲进下水道以泄后快 |
| [05:47] | Well, now, we know you’re lying | 你一定在撒谎 |
| [05:49] | because Michael would’ve definitely told us | 因为迈克尔对我们知无不言 |
| [05:53] | if the Bad Place had called him | 如果恶地联系了他 |
| [05:54] | and showed him some freakin’ Michael suit. | 他看过假皮后 一定会告诉我们 |
| [05:55] | Absolutely. Of course I would’ve. | 没错 那可不 |
| [05:57] | I mean, Janet would have phone records. | 珍妮特有电话记录 |
| [05:59] | You could just ask her to pull them up. | 让她调记录 一看便知 |
| [06:00] | Okay, fine. I lied. | 好吧 我确实撒谎了 |
| [06:02] | – They called me. – What? | -他们确实联系我了 -不是吧 |
| [06:04] | I lied about that. And I’m sorry. | 我对你们隐瞒了此事 对不起 |
| [06:06] | You knew about this? | 你早就知情吗 |
| [06:07] | Yes, yes, but there’s‐‐ there’s a good explanation. | 对 但我有充分的理由 |
| [06:11] | Yeah, the explanation is that’s Vicky, | 理由就是 你就是薇琪 |
| [06:12] | and she’s lying to you about everything. | 她一直在对你撒谎 |
| [06:14] | Call The Judge and we’ll settle this once and for all. | 联系法官 我们彻底解决此事 |
| [06:16] | Or is that exactly what you wanted us to do? | 这样就正中你下怀吧 |
| [06:19] | That is what I want you to do. | 确实啊 |
| [06:21] | Exactly. | 我早看透你了 |
| [06:23] | Eleanor, perhaps we should call The Judge. | 埃莉诺 要不还是联系法官吧 |
| [06:25] | Glenn was telling the truth. | 格伦说的是实话 |
| [06:26] | No, The Judge said if anything else went wrong, | 不 法官说过 要是出了岔子 |
| [06:29] | she would reset the whole experiment. | 她就重启整个实验 |
| [06:30] | We are not calling her unless we have no other choice, | 除非别无选择 不然不能联系她 |
| [06:33] | and I am locking you two jamokes in separate rooms | 我要把你们两混球单独关押 |
| [06:37] | until we get to the bottom of this. | 静待我们查清真相 |
| [06:40] | I’m very upset about this development. | 怎么能这样呢 太气人了 |
| [06:43] | I’m serious, man. This is happening. | 讲真 我不是在演戏 |
| [06:48] | I’m very upset about this development. | 怎么会发展到这种地步呢 |
| [06:52] | All right, buttheads, what do we do? | 烦人精们 怎么办啊 |
| [06:54] | I say we trust Michael. He’s our friend. | 我们得相信迈克尔 他可是我们的朋友 |
| [06:56] | Wait, might be our friend, | 慢着 他可能是我们的朋友 |
| [06:58] | or he might be a lying trickster who just looks like our friend‐‐ | 但也有可能是披着迈克尔皮的恶魔啊 |
| [07:01] | the classic Mary‐Kate Olsen. | 外形相仿 傻傻分不清啊 |
| [07:03] | I have to say, | 不得不说 |
| [07:04] | we’ve had a lot of misfires recently, | 我们最近事事不顺心 |
| [07:06] | and Michael has been acting suspiciously. | 迈克尔的行迹确实可疑 |
| [07:07] | Like tonight, when I wanted to work, | 就像今晚 我想集思广益 |
| [07:10] | and he just wanted to have a slumber party instead? | 他却提议办睡衣趴 |
| [07:12] | To be fair to Mike, slumber parties rule. | 替迈克尔说句公道话 睡衣趴实在无法抗拒啊 |
| [07:14] | And why would we trust Glenn? | 我们为何要信格伦呢 |
| [07:16] | – He’s a demon. – So is Michael. | -他是个恶魔 -迈克尔也是啊 |
| [07:18] | – Demons can be good. – Right. | -恶魔也有好坏之分 -好吧 |
| [07:19] | Okay. So it’s decided. | 那就这么愉快地决定了 |
| [07:21] | We trust both of them. | 俩人都可信 |
| [07:22] | Okay. | 行吧 |
| [07:23] | Predictably, this was unhelpful. | 一如既往地不靠谱 |
| [07:28] | Get in there. | 进去 |
| [07:30] | What is all this stuff? | 这都是些什么啊 |
| [07:33] | Are these weapons? | 某种武器吗 |
| [07:35] | Don’t touch those. | 别碰 |
| [07:37] | Those are my special magnet handcuffs. | 那是我的特制磁铁手铐 |
| [07:39] | They make me feel silly | 我和明迪颠鸾倒凤时 |
| [07:40] | when Mindy and I are playing Upstairs‐downstairs Derek. | 能令我嗨到目眩 |
| [07:43] | They’re sex toys. | 性爱玩具啊 |
| [07:45] | They’re sex toys. | 好脏 |
| [07:46] | Dude, get out of here. We have enough problems. | 你快走吧 我们已经够头疼了 |
| [07:49] | My good man, allow me to bury the hatchet. | 好兄弟 我们握手言和吧 |
| [07:52] | Being rebooted again has evolved me | 重启多次 我已经长进了 |
| [07:55] | past any feelings of jealousy. | 不会再打翻醋坛子了 |
| [07:59] | I know that sound. | 熟悉的声音 |
| [08:00] | Looks like someone found my sex diaper. | 那是我的性爱尿布 |
| [08:02] | I’ll leave you guys alone to live that dipe life. | 你们好好享受吧 我先撤了 |
| [08:07] | Okay, explain yourself‐‐ | 自辩清白吧 |
| [08:10] | if yourself even is yourself. | 前提是你真的是你 |
| [08:12] | I am Michael. | 我真是迈克尔 |
| [08:14] | Shawn did call me, and I saw the Michael suit. | 肖恩确实联系我了 我也看到假迈克尔皮了 |
| [08:17] | He said if the experiment failed, | 他说 如果实验失败 |
| [08:19] | he was gonna use it to make you think I was torturing you. | 他就让人披上假皮折磨你们 |
| [08:23] | Why didn’t you tell us? | 你之前怎么不说呢 |
| [08:25] | Because he said he would just erase your memories of me telling you, | 因为他说会抹除我告诉你们真相的记忆 |
| [08:28] | so it wouldn’t matter anyway. | 所以我说不说就不重要了 |
| [08:30] | He knew that I would crumble under the pressure. | 他心里清楚 我一定会精神崩溃 |
| [08:32] | But a month ago, you told me you only pretended to freak out | 但一个月前 你跟我说只是假装崩溃 |
| [08:37] | in order to get me to step up and become a leader. | 目的是为了让我站出来带领大家 |
| [08:39] | Yes, that also was a lie, | 对 那事我也撒谎了 |
| [08:41] | but it was an inspirational one. | 但当时也是见机行事 |
| [08:43] | Like, “So great running into you. | 就像偶遇熟人打招呼 |
| [08:46] | We should get coffee some time,” | 假意约咖啡一样 |
| [08:47] | or all of Instagram. | 大家发票圈不也这样吗 |
| [08:49] | So to recap, you found out the Bad Place made a Michael suit, | 捋一下 你早知恶地打造了假迈克尔皮 |
| [08:54] | freaked out, didn’t tell us why, | 明明吓慌了 却不肯告诉我们真相 |
| [08:56] | and then later, you lied to me about why you freaked out? | 之后又骗我是假装吓慌了 |
| [09:00] | And then you lied again just a few minutes ago | 几分钟前还撒了一个谎 |
| [09:03] | when you said that you never got a call from Shawn. | 骗我们肖恩从没联系过你 |
| [09:05] | Yes, but that lie was only to cover my two earlier lies. | 对 但都是为了圆谎嘛 |
| [09:09] | I mean, that’s gotta be okay, right? | 很顺理成章吧 |
| [09:11] | What? | 你还理直气壮了 |
| [09:12] | Eleanor, don’t you see what they’re doing? | 埃莉诺 你还不明白吗 |
| [09:13] | Shawn sent Glenn to undermine our trust in each other | 肖恩派格伦来挑拨离间 |
| [09:16] | so you’ll call The Judge and restart the experiment. | 这样你就会联系法官 重启实验 |
| [09:19] | Well, I have no reason not to believe you, | 我没理由不信你 |
| [09:22] | other than the three very recent examples we just laid out. | 可毕竟我们发现你连撒三个谎 |
| [09:25] | Huddle. Now. | 出来商量一下 |
| [09:31] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [09:32] | I just needed to grab this. You know, it’s chime time. | 我就来拿个东西 为爱鼓掌 必不可少啊 |
| [09:37] | There’s gotta be a way to figure out if that’s the real Michael. | 肯定有办法鉴别迈克尔的真伪 |
| [09:39] | Is there a way you can make some sort of demon lie detector? | 你能不能变一个恶魔测谎仪啊 |
| [09:44] | I don’t know. | 不好说 |
| [09:45] | The Janet babies are still draining me, | 造人耗费了我太多能力 |
| [09:47] | and I just had to put down Daisy the horse blob, | 刚刚还制服了从画里跳出来的小野马黛西 |
| [09:50] | which was exhausting‐‐ emotionally and physically. | 简直身心疲惫啊 |
| [09:53] | She fought back. I won’t get into details. | 黛西拼命挣扎呀 我就不说出来吓你们了 |
| [09:55] | I had to twist her head off. Sorry. | 我不得不拧下马头 抱歉没控制住 |
| [09:58] | No more details. | 不多说了 |
| [09:59] | She did thrash. She thrashed. | 黛西血溅三尺 还在拼命扭动呢 |
| [10:01] | – Sorry. – Okay, | -抱歉 -行了 |
| [10:02] | why don’t we just get him drunk so he starts blabbing? | 要不把他灌醉 问个清楚吧 |
| [10:05] | I mean, what goes best with pig urine? | 猪尿得配什么酒啊 |
| [10:08] | – Coconut rum. – That won’t work on a demon. | -椰子朗姆酒 -这招对恶魔不管用 |
| [10:10] | I’ll try and make a lie detector. | 我试试造一个测谎仪吧 |
| [10:13] | No. Damn it. | 我靠 不是吧 |
| [10:14] | What’s going on in there? | 怎么了 |
| [10:16] | I touched the dang diaper. | 我碰到了性爱尿布 |
| [10:18] | Get back in that room. | 回去 |
| [10:19] | So Michael saw the suit. Big deal. | 迈克尔知道假皮的事又能如何 |
| [10:21] | I still think you’re forking with us. | 你肯定是在玩我们 |
| [10:23] | I think this is just like when the Bad Place sent us Linda, | 这和恶地上回派琳达来搅局一样 |
| [10:26] | who turned out to be some super‐jacked punching guy, | 让他到处打人 |
| [10:29] | and just like him, you got busted. | 但没用 这次你们还是被我们识破了 |
| [10:31] | That’s the thing. The puncher didn’t get busted. | 问题就在这儿 他不是被你们识破了 |
| [10:34] | It worked exactly as planned. | 而是计划本就是如此 |
| [10:36] | The whole thing was a diversion to get real Michael out, | 那么做就是想趁机劫走真正的迈克尔 |
| [10:40] | and sneak the imposter in on a train. | 隐藏在火车上的冒牌迈克尔就能趁机而入 |
| [10:42] | It must’ve happened during the handoff. | 肯定是交接犯人时动的手 |
| [10:43] | While Janet was handcuffing Chris, | 珍妮特拷走克里斯时 |
| [10:46] | a bunch of demons must’ve grabbed Michael, | 一群恶魔趁机抓住迈克尔 |
| [10:48] | yanked him away, | 把他拖走 |
| [10:49] | and then Vicky, in the Michael suit, walked back out. | 然后披着迈克尔皮的薇琪就登场了 |
| [10:52] | You never would’ve known the difference. | 做得神不知鬼不觉 |
| [10:54] | Also, when Chris got back, | 而且 克里斯回到恶地后 |
| [10:55] | I saw Shawn and him celebrating. | 我撞见他和肖恩举杯庆祝 |
| [10:57] | Why would they be happy if he wasn’t supposed to get caught? | 要不是故意为之 怎会高兴地庆祝呢 |
| [11:00] | Man, I love a good sabotage. | 搞破坏的感觉太爽了 |
| [11:02] | Or is that exactly what you want us to think? | 要是我们这么想 不正中你下怀吗 |
| [11:05] | Motherforker. | 去他喵的 |
| [11:06] | I knew there was something weird about that puncher. | 我早就觉得”暴力狂”不对劲 |
| [11:09] | I said that to Michael‐‐ | 我跟迈克尔提过… |
| [11:11] | and he dismissed it. | 但他无视了 |
| [11:13] | Yeah. See what I mean? | 懂我意思了吧 |
| [11:15] | Don’t go anywhere. Come on. | 老实待在这儿 我们走 |
| [11:19] | If Michael is just Vicky in a Michael suit, | 如果是披着迈克尔皮的薇琪 |
| [11:21] | let’s just take the suit off. | 我们直接把皮剥掉不就好了 |
| [11:23] | Yeah. Maybe we could sneak up behind him, | 我们可以悄悄从后面靠近他 |
| [11:25] | and try and pants him from forehead. | 趁机剥掉他的皮 |
| [11:26] | That won’t work. | 没用 |
| [11:27] | A demon can take his own skin suit off, | 恶魔可以主动脱下自己的皮 |
| [11:29] | but no one else can. | 外人无法强行剥掉 |
| [11:30] | It’s like a very complicated bra. | 就像只能自己解开的内衣 |
| [11:33] | Well, so be it. | 那也没事 |
| [11:37] | Take off your skin suit. | 脱下你的外皮 |
| [11:40] | – I can’t. – Sure, you can. | -不可以 -当然可以 |
| [11:42] | You’re either a demon wearing a Michael suit, | 要么你就是披着恶魔皮囊的迈克尔 |
| [11:45] | or you’re a demon wearing a Vicky suit | 要么就是披着恶魔皮囊的薇琪 |
| [11:48] | who’s wearing a Michael suit over that. | 外面又披了一层迈克尔假皮 |
| [11:50] | Just take off your Michael suit, | 脱下外皮 |
| [11:52] | and show us what you’re working with. | 速速现出你的真面目 |
| [11:54] | I’m sorry. I won’t. | 抱歉 不可以 |
| [11:56] | – That’s very suspicious. – I know, but I’m not Vicky. | -这也太可疑了 -没错 但我真的不是薇琪 |
| [11:59] | I just don’t want to show you what’s underneath here. | 我就是不想让你们看到我的真身 |
| [12:02] | I’ve seen a lot of weird hogs in my life, dude. | 姐姐我见过的怪物多着呢 |
| [12:04] | – Get over yourself. – That’s not it. | -别扭扭捏捏了 -不是扭捏 |
| [12:08] | I’m a fire squid. | 我的真身是喷火乌贼 |
| [12:11] | Dope. | 酷毙了 |
| [12:12] | No. | 不 |
| [12:14] | Not dope. | 一点也不酷 |
| [12:16] | I’m a 6,000‐foot tall fire squid. | 我是只六千英尺的喷火乌贼 |
| [12:20] | I have tentacles. | 长满触手 |
| [12:22] | There’s teeth everywhere. | 浑身都是牙齿 |
| [12:24] | I’m on fire, and my neck is long. | 浑身冒火 脖子贼长 |
| [12:27] | And there’s a smell, | 散发恶臭 |
| [12:29] | and lots of juice. | 滴着粘液 |
| [12:32] | There’s so much juice, Eleanor. | 浑身粘液啊 埃莉诺 |
| [12:33] | I think I speak for everyone here when I say | 我得替大家发个言 |
| [12:37] | I really have to see this. | 我太想见识一下了 |
| [12:39] | So you’re not gonna take off your demon Spanx | 你不肯脱下外皮 |
| [12:43] | because you’re shy? | 就是因为羞于见人吗 |
| [12:45] | Well, that’s convenient. | 可真会找理由啊 |
| [12:46] | Eleanor, if I take off this suit, | 埃莉诺 若是我脱下皮 |
| [12:48] | I will crash through the roof | 本体会破屋而出 |
| [12:50] | and the entire Neighborhood will see me | 整个街区都会看到我 |
| [12:52] | and the experiment will be blown. | 实验就毁了 |
| [12:55] | But it’s more than that. | 不仅如此 |
| [12:56] | You guys will never look at me the same way again. | 你们再也不会像以前那样看待我 |
| [12:59] | I won’t just be Michael. | 在你们眼中 我不再单纯是迈克尔 |
| [13:02] | I’ll be… | 而是… |
| [13:03] | some disgusting mass of burning tentacles. | 一大团恶心的喷火触须怪 |
| [13:09] | Do you really want to be friends with something like that? | 你们真的愿意和这种东西做朋友吗 |
| [13:12] | Yes. I keep saying. | 当然了 我都迫不及待了 |
| [13:15] | Eleanor. | 埃莉诺 |
| [13:17] | Now I don’t know if this will work, | 我不确定能不能行 |
| [13:19] | but theoretically, if you point it at a demon and he’s lying, | 但理论上讲 被测谎仪指着的恶魔如果撒谎了 |
| [13:21] | it’ll turn red. | 红灯就会亮起 |
| [13:23] | If he’s telling the truth, it’ll turn green. | 如果没撒谎 就会亮绿灯 |
| [13:24] | Okay. Glenn. | 好 格伦 |
| [13:28] | This is a lie detector. | 这是测谎仪 |
| [13:29] | Let us show you how it works. | 来试试看 |
| [13:32] | What’s your name? | 你叫什么 |
| [13:33] | Well, everyone calls me Glenn, | 大家都叫我”格伦” |
| [13:35] | but the name on my demon certificate is actually | 但我恶魔身份证上的真实姓名 |
| [13:39] | Snakes Pour Forth From His Anu‐‐ | 是”菊花漏汁的蛇” |
| [13:45] | Glenn blew up. Glenn blew up. | 格伦爆炸了 炸成汁了 |
| [13:48] | Or is that exactly what he wants us to think? | 这是不是正中他下怀呢 |
| [13:55] | So does blowing up mean he was telling the truth or lying? | 爆炸代表他撒谎还是没撒谎呢 |
| [13:58] | Neither. That was not supposed to happen. | 都不是 那是个意外 |
| [14:00] | I’ve never killed anybody before. | 我从没杀过人 |
| [14:02] | No, don’t worry. Demons can’t die. | 别担心 恶魔死不了 |
| [14:04] | He’ll slowly reform himself over a few months, | 过几个月 他就会慢慢塑形 |
| [14:08] | passing through all the stages of demon growth‐‐ | 重新经历恶魔生长的各个阶段 |
| [14:11] | larva, slug monster, spooky little girl, | 幼虫 鼻涕怪 鬼魅女娃 |
| [14:14] | teenage boy, giant ball of tongues, | 青少年 舌头球巨怪 |
| [14:17] | social media CEO, and then finally demon, so… | 社交媒体总裁 最后进化成恶魔 |
| [14:21] | Look at the bright side. This worked out perfectly. | 想开一点 这不正好吗 |
| [14:24] | I mean, not for Glenn, obviously, | 虽然格伦有点惨 |
| [14:27] | but for us. | 但对我们来说是好事啊 |
| [14:29] | Lying demon’s gone. | 撒谎的恶魔爆炸了 |
| [14:30] | We’re still here. All good. | 我们都还在 万事大吉啊 |
| [14:32] | No. | 不 |
| [14:33] | We’re not all good, man. | 才不是万事大吉 |
| [14:35] | You’re either Michael and you lied, | 要么你真的是迈克尔 但对我们撒谎了 |
| [14:37] | or you’re Vicky in a Michael suit. | 要么你就是披着迈克尔皮的薇琪 |
| [14:39] | Okay, I’m gonna go for a walk. | 我得出去走走 |
| [14:41] | Nobody go anywhere. | 你们都待在这儿 |
| [14:48] | Chidi? | 奇迪 |
| [14:50] | I didn’t think anyone would still be up. | 没想到还有人醒着 |
| [14:54] | Are you okay? | 你还好吗 |
| [14:56] | Yeah, yeah, I’m just practicing drawing viable horses‐‐ | 还好 我就是练习画正常的马呢 |
| [15:01] | ones that aren’t crimes, you know, against nature. | 我可不想再画出反常识的马了 |
| [15:05] | Okay, I know this mood of yours | 我懂你这种心态 |
| [15:08] | from reading your file and whatnot. | 你的资料里都写着呢 |
| [15:11] | Why don’t you take a break, and we’ll get some food in you? | 歇一会儿 我们去吃点东西吧 |
| [15:18] | Well, I’m done. | 搞定了 |
| [15:19] | I scooped it all up into one steaming pile of Glenn. | 我把冒着怒气的格伦爆炸液都倒进水缸里了 |
| [15:22] | Maybe I can put him back together. | 也许我能把他拼凑回来 |
| [15:23] | I’m hella good at puzzles. | 我可擅长拼凑线索解谜了 |
| [15:25] | I finished this word search in, like, 30 seconds. | 我30秒就搞定了这个填词游戏 |
| [15:28] | Jason, I feel terrible. | 杰森 我很内疚 |
| [15:30] | I know he was a demon and he may have lied to us, | 虽然他是恶魔 有可能还骗了我们 |
| [15:32] | but he didn’t deserve that. | 但罪不至此啊 |
| [15:35] | You were only trying to help us. | 你刚才只是想帮我们 |
| [15:36] | Look, I know this is a weird time, | 虽然时机不合适 |
| [15:39] | but if you ever want to talk, | 但如果你想找人聊聊 |
| [15:41] | just know that I’m here for you, girl. | 我一直在 妹子 |
| [15:43] | Thanks, Jason. | 谢谢你 杰森 |
| [15:45] | That means a lot. | 很暖心 |
| [15:53] | I gotta say. | 说良心话 |
| [15:55] | Out of all the human stuff I’ve been able to experience in this neighborhood, | 我尝遍了这个街区的所有人类美食 |
| [15:58] | nachos‐‐number one. | 墨西哥玉米片妥妥排第一 |
| [16:00] | – Easy. – Really? | -轻松胜出 -真的吗 |
| [16:02] | Yeah. | 那可不 |
| [16:03] | I mean, salty, crunchy, | 够咸 松脆 |
| [16:06] | cheesy, little bit of a kick? | 芝士味浓 还有点小辣 |
| [16:08] | Name one better thing humans have created. | 你能举出一件更好的人类发明吗 |
| [16:10] | The Sistine Chapel? | 西斯廷教堂 |
| [16:12] | Paint on a ceiling. | 在天花板上画画 |
| [16:13] | I mean, it’s fine, | 确实不错 |
| [16:14] | but can you eat it at the movies? | 但不能边吃边看电影啊 |
| [16:16] | Touché. | 说得好 |
| [16:18] | Listen, don’t stay up all night drawing horses. | 别熬夜画马了 |
| [16:20] | It’s really fine. | 真的不必介怀 |
| [16:22] | I know. I just… | 我懂 就是 |
| [16:25] | feel like I made the world a little bit worse, | 我感觉世界因为我而变差了 |
| [16:28] | and I won’t be okay until I make it better again. | 必须做出积极的贡献 我心里才过得去 |
| [16:31] | Making yourself miserable to ease the suffering of others‐‐ | 折磨自己以减轻他人的苦难 |
| [16:35] | about the most Chidi thing you can do. | 真是太”奇迪”了 |
| [16:39] | I’ll see you later. | 回见 |
| [16:43] | Do you want to take the rest of the those nachos? | 你要吃掉剩下的玉米片吗 |
| [16:44] | Yeah, I do. Thank you. | 嗯 谢谢你 |
| [16:48] | Okay, here’s where I’m at. | 我的想法是这样 |
| [16:50] | I just don’t know if I can ever trust you. | 我不知道能否再信任你 |
| [16:52] | I’m gonna call The Judge. We’ll start over. | 我会联系法官 重新开始实验 |
| [16:55] | We won’t have Chidi in the mix, | 奇迪不会再是实验对象了 |
| [16:56] | but he’ll be on our side again, which is almost as good. | 他能继续和我们并肩作战了 这也挺好 |
| [16:59] | But we know the humans now. | 可我们慢慢了解这几个人了 |
| [17:01] | Starting over sounds exhausting. | 从头来过简直心累 |
| [17:04] | I know, but if that’s not Michael, | 是啊 但如果这不是真的迈克尔 |
| [17:06] | he could sabotage us in ways we can’t even perceive, | 他可能会趁我们不注意捣乱 |
| [17:09] | and even if it is, I can’t fully trust him, | 就算他真的是迈克尔 我也无法完全信任他了 |
| [17:12] | so every time something goes wrong, | 每次出点差错 |
| [17:13] | a little part of me is gonna wonder. | 我就会对他起疑 |
| [17:17] | We have to start over. | 我们必须重新开始 |
| [17:19] | I have a better idea. | 我有个更好的主意 |
| [17:21] | – I’m gonna blow myself up. – What? | -我会将自己引爆 -什么 |
| [17:23] | I’ll blow myself up. | 我会把自己引爆 |
| [17:24] | That way, you can continue the experiment | 这样你们就能继续实验 |
| [17:27] | with Chidi as one of the people, | 奇迪还是实验对象 |
| [17:28] | which is our best chance to ever be successful. | 这是我们成功的最大希望 |
| [17:31] | Why not just lock you in a room | 何不把你关起来 |
| [17:33] | or in Janet’s void or something? | 或者锁进珍妮特的虚空之地呢 |
| [17:35] | But then you might worry that I’d escape. | 那样你还是会担心我会逃跑 |
| [17:37] | I blow myself up, I’m out of your hair for good. | 我炸掉自己 就没人再困扰你[的头发]了 |
| [17:39] | Well, parts of me will be in your actual hair, | 爆炸后的尸体还是会沾到你头发上啦 |
| [17:43] | – but you get it. – Michael, wait. | -你懂我意思 -迈克尔 等下 |
| [17:45] | Tahani, this is the only way. | 塔哈妮 这是唯一的办法了 |
| [17:47] | There’s literally noting I can say | 无论我说什么 |
| [17:48] | that will make you realize that I’m really me. | 你们都无法确信我的身份 |
| [17:52] | Boy. This is gonna suck. | 天呐 场面肯定很难看 |
| [17:54] | Hopefully, I will see you all in a few months. Good luck. | 但愿几个月后能再见 祝好运 |
| [17:57] | and make sure that you, get all of me into the container, | 务必把我的碎渣全装进容器里 |
| [18:01] | or I might come back way shorter. | 不然重塑后 我可能会长残变矬 |
| [18:05] | And that would bum me out. | 那样就太扎心了 |
| [18:08] | I wish I were saying this in different circumstances but… | 真希望换个场合说这句话 |
| [18:14] | Take it sleazy. | “完爆他们” |
| [18:16] | Michael, wait! | 迈克尔 住手 |
| [18:20] | Crud nuts. | 妈蛋蛋 |
| [18:24] | Jason, how did you know that was bad Janet? | 杰森 你怎么知道那是邪恶版珍妮特 |
| [18:26] | Michael said there’s nothing he could say | 迈克尔说 无论他如何辩解 |
| [18:28] | that would make you realize he’s really him, | 我们都不会确信他的真实身份 |
| [18:31] | but Janet does have a thing she can say | 但是珍妮特就不同了 |
| [18:33] | that does make me realize she is really not her. | 她的某句话让我意识到 此珍妮特非彼珍妮特 |
| [18:36] | What? | 什么话 |
| [18:37] | I called Janet “girl,” | 我之前说她是”妹子” |
| [18:38] | but she didn’t say, “Not a girl.” | 但她没纠正我 她不是个妹子[人] |
| [18:40] | The real Janet always says, | 真正的珍妮特总会纠正我 |
| [18:42] | “Not a girl.” | “我不是妹子” |
| [18:46] | That realization is the only thing | 幸好你灵光一闪 |
| [18:48] | that stopped me from becoming a pile of goo. | 不然我就得炸成泥了 |
| [18:51] | Wait, how did you pull it off? | 你们是怎么瞒天过海的 |
| [18:53] | You were outside on the platform with me the whole time. | 我们俩当时一直在月台上啊 |
| [18:55] | We brought two bad Janets on the train, | 车上有两个邪恶版珍妮特 |
| [18:57] | you dumb, dumb idiot. | 你这个傻球 |
| [18:59] | The other one distracted you on the platform | 一个邪恶版珍妮特负责在月台引开你的注意 |
| [19:02] | while good Janet brought Chris onto the train. | 良善版珍妮特当时正把克斯里押上火车 |
| [19:04] | I snuck out, marbelized Janet, | 我悄悄出现 把珍妮特缩成弹球 |
| [19:06] | and then I took over, baby. | 然后狸猫换太子 顺理成章 |
| [19:09] | Stupid Michael never knew. | 迈克尔这个蠢货毫不知情 |
| [19:11] | I had you fartknockers fooled for weeks, | 我这几周把你们这帮傻蛋骗得团团转 |
| [19:13] | until Glenn the traitor ruined everything. | 结果格伦这个叛徒出来坏事了 |
| [19:16] | That guy sucks, right? | 简直是个废物 |
| [19:19] | Shut up, Glenn. | 别逼逼 格伦 |
| [19:21] | Wait, wait, wait, wait. | 等下 等等 |
| [19:22] | Bad Janets can’t impersonate Good Janets. | 邪恶版珍妮特不能假扮良善版珍妮特 |
| [19:24] | I’ve seen them try. Their heads melt, so… | 我见到有人试过 接着就爆头了 |
| [19:27] | You’re so smart, sir. | 脑子转得真快 |
| [19:29] | Well, listen, here’s the thing. | 但有个关键 |
| [19:30] | Shawn rebooted me, like, 40 million tines. | 肖恩重启了我四千万”词”了 |
| [19:33] | Wait, tine‐him‐is. | 不对 四千万”此” |
| [19:35] | Time‐ses. These things rule. | 四千万”次”了 这手铐让人嗨啊 |
| [19:38] | Dip. This means Janet didn’t dump me. | 太好了 那珍妮特就没有甩掉我 |
| [19:40] | Her weird sister did. | 是她”邪恶版姐妹”在搞鬼 |
| [19:42] | Everything makes so much more sense. | 这下就都讲得通了 |
| [19:44] | All of Janet’s ideas were so counterproductive. | 珍妮特之前的主意都起到了反作用 |
| [19:47] | She brought the horse monster to life. | 她赋予了怪物马生命 |
| [19:49] | She forced me to antagonize John. | 她迫使我和约翰敌对 |
| [19:52] | She got us to doubt Eleanor’s leadership skills. | 她挑拨我们质疑埃莉诺的领导能力 |
| [19:55] | I was just about to launch an idea | 我之前正想到一个好点子 |
| [19:57] | where Tahani was gonna give herself an asymmetrical haircut. | 说服塔哈妮剪”狗啃刘海儿” |
| [20:00] | You monster. | 你这个魔头 |
| [20:01] | Thank you! | 谢谢夸奖 |
| [20:02] | Guys, we still have a problem here. | 各位 还有个问题 |
| [20:05] | You still don’t have evidence that I’m actually me. | 你们还是无法证明我的真实身份 |
| [20:08] | Sure, we do. | 我们可以确定了 |
| [20:09] | You offered to sacrifice yourself | 你主动提出牺牲自己 |
| [20:10] | to help a bunch of cockroaches. | 来帮助不信任你的朋友们 |
| [20:13] | That’s about the most Michael thing you could do. | 你不是迈克尔 谁是呢 |
| [20:17] | Then where’s real Janet? | 那真正的珍妮特在哪里 |
| [20:18] | She’s in the Bad Place. | 她在恶地 |
| [20:20] | She’s probably wiping her butt with her own butt. | 可能连擦手纸都没有呢 |
| [20:24] | I can’t bear the idea of poor Janet down there all alone. | 一想到可怜的珍妮特孤苦无依 我就好心疼 |
| [20:28] | What should we do? | 我们该怎么办 |
| [20:30] | I know what to do. | 我知道该怎么办 |
| [20:32] | It’s like what that guy who blew up said. | 爆炸的格伦说得对 |
| [20:35] | Shawn’s a bully, | 肖恩是个恶霸 |
| [20:37] | and sometimes, the only thing a bully understands | 有时 跟恶霸打交道 |
| [20:40] | is punch in the mouth. | 只能用拳头说话 |
| [20:42] | I’m gonna go down there, | 我要去恶地 |
| [20:44] | I’m gonna punch him in the mouth, | 揍得他满地找牙 |
| [20:45] | and I’m gonna get Janet back! | 救回珍妮特 |
| [20:49] | Sounds like somebody has a plan. | 看来有人有计划了呀 |
| [20:51] | Dope. Where is he? | 赞 谁啊 |
| [20:53] | – What’s the plan? – It’s okay. | -什么计划 -傻孩子 |
| [20:58] | You sure you can hold down the fort? | 你有信心看好家吗 |
| [21:00] | Not at all. | 妥妥地没有 |
| [21:01] | You sure you can do your thing? | 你有信心援救成功吗 |
| [21:03] | Nope. | 必然没有 |
| [21:04] | We’ll just try our best. Right? | 我们就尽人事 听天命吧 |
| [21:08] | Okay, let’s go get our girl. | 我们去救回咱家妹子吧 |
| [21:10] | Not a girl. | 珍妮特可不是个”妹子” |