| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | Janet, you disappoint me. | 珍妮特 你太让我失望了 |
| [00:03] | I expected more of a fight from you. | 还以为你会逆袭 |
| [00:05] | Yet here you are, all alone in the Bad Place, | 结果却孤零零被关在”恶地” |
| [00:08] | rendered powerless by a measly magnet jail. | 锁在”磁力监狱” 无力回天 |
| [00:16] | It’s okay, I guess. | 还可以吧 |
| [00:17] | What is the issue now? | 哪里有问题 |
| [00:19] | That’s not how Michael laughs. | 迈克尔不这么笑 |
| [00:21] | It’s more of a delighted giggle. | 而是愉悦的窃喜 |
| [00:23] | She’s right. | 她说得没错 |
| [00:24] | You need to nail his subtleties and mannerisms for this to properly work as torture. | 想要酷刑成功 你要模仿得惟妙惟肖 |
| [00:30] | My problem with the role is | 我对这个角色的问题是 |
| [00:31] | that I haven’t fully figured out Michael’s motivation yet. | 我还没领会迈克尔的心境 |
| [00:34] | Like I’m inside Michael, but I need to be inside Michael. | 我在”迈克尔里面” 但我得深入”迈克尔内在” |
| [00:39] | You know, it actually feels more like torture when you discuss your “acting process.” | 你谈论”演技”问题时 才更像是酷刑 |
| [00:43] | You don’t get it. | 你不懂 |
| [00:44] | If you really want to know Michael’s motivation, | 你真想领悟迈克尔的心境 |
| [00:46] | it’s the same as the rest of my friends– | 他跟我那几个朋友们一样 |
| [00:48] | loyalty, empathy, and love. | 有忠心 有良心 有爱心 |
| [00:51] | And that’s why they will prevail. | 所以他们会打败你们 |
| [00:52] | I hate to break it to you, hon. | 我就不拐弯抹角了 亲 |
| [00:54] | They’re not gonna prevail. | 他们不会打败我们 |
| [00:57] | No one’s coming to save you! | 没人会来救你 |
| [01:02] | Getting colder. | 更不像了 |
| [01:03] | I know. I could feel it. | 我知道 我感觉到了 |
| [01:04] | You know, it was wrong. | 这不对 |
| [01:05] | I’m just–I’m in my head now. | 我现在有点蒙圈了 |
| [01:09] | Hey, Mikey, I have a question about our plan to save Janet. | 小迈迈 对于拯救珍妮特的计划 我有一个疑问 |
| [01:13] | Is there it yet? | 我们有计划吗 |
| [01:14] | I do have a plan, yes. | 我确实有 |
| [01:15] | But to be honest, I have no idea if it will work. | 但老实说 我也不知道能否成功 |
| [01:18] | Maybe Glenn could help. | 也许格伦能帮上忙 |
| [01:20] | Yo, Glenn, how should we rescue Janet? | 格伦 我们该怎么救珍妮特 |
| [01:25] | He doesn’t know. | 他不知道 |
| [01:26] | Listen, Jason, old friend, | 听着 杰森 我亲爱的小伙伴 |
| [01:28] | I already gave Eleanor and Tahani all their afterlife memories back. | 我把埃莉诺和塔哈妮的”死后记忆”还给他们了 |
| [01:33] | I haven’t restored yours for obvious reasons. | 我还没让你恢复记忆 你知道原因 |
| [01:36] | But I think to maximize our chances of survival, | 但为了能成功脱险 |
| [01:40] | it’s time that you remember everything we’ve been through. | 是时候让你记起我们的过去了 |
| [01:43] | Now prepare yourself. This might be intense. | 你做好准备 信息量太大 不好消化 |
| [01:50] | Dip! | 我靠 |
| [01:54] | Do you remember everything? | 你记起一切了吗 |
| [01:55] | Yes, last time I was in the Bad Place, | 记起来了 我上次在”恶地”时 |
| [01:57] | I threw a Molotov cocktail. | 我扔了一个燃烧弹 |
| [01:59] | That was sick. | 屌爆了 |
| [02:00] | I was afraid that you’d watch 300 years of memories | 我还怕你会回溯三百年的记忆 |
| [02:03] | and that would be your takeaway. | 你会被带跑偏 |
| [02:05] | Buddy, I did that to help you know what not to do. | 老弟 我是为了让你知道什么不能做啊 |
| [02:08] | Impulse control is critical. | 控制冲动非常重要 |
| [02:10] | Fight the urge to blow stuff up, | 抑制想要炸东西的欲望 |
| [02:12] | even if you feel like we’re in a jam. | 即使遇到险境[果酱里]也不行 |
| [02:16] | Got it? | 明白了吗 |
| [02:17] | I mean, that’s very lame, but yeah. I understand. | 真没劲 但好吧 我懂了 |
| [02:22] | Wait, can I have all my memories back again? | 等下 你能再恢复一次我的记忆吗 |
| [02:24] | I forgot most of them. | 我又忘得差不多了 |
| [02:35] | Welcome, everyone. | 欢迎各位 |
| [02:37] | Janet will be unavailable for a bit. | 珍妮特目前人不在 |
| [02:39] | She’s undergoing some routine system maintenance. | 她被送去检修了 |
| [02:43] | I know what that means. | 我知道这话是什么意思 |
| [02:44] | Eye lift. Maybe an ear tuck. | 眼部上提 也许去整招风耳了 |
| [02:48] | When we don’t have Janet, | 珍妮特没法为大家服务时 |
| [02:50] | we like to refresh your memories of your old lives | 我们想让你们重温在世时 |
| [02:53] | when you did things for yourselves. | 为自己做的事 |
| [02:55] | We call it Earth Day. | 称之为”人间日”[世界地球日] |
| [02:58] | And yes, we know that’s a thing on Earth, | 没错 我们知道真有”世界地球日” |
| [03:00] | but what are they gonna do? | 就抄袭怎么了 |
| [03:01] | Sue us? | 告诉我们啊 |
| [03:02] | So get ready for some fun, lo-fi activities. | 准备好迎接浓缩版的娱乐活动吧 |
| [03:06] | This group over here is gonna knit. | 这一组可以搞针织活动 |
| [03:09] | You folks are gonna do your favorite activity– gardening. | 你们可以做最爱的园艺活动 |
| [03:13] | Man, we better get something better than that. | 可别让我们摊上这么无聊的活动 |
| [03:14] | And you five are going to a gorgeous remote lake house. | 你们五个要去僻静的湖边小屋度假 |
| [03:19] | Swimming, water skiing, the works. | 游泳 滑水 想玩什么都行 |
| [03:22] | Suck it, gardeners! | 自认倒霉吧 园丁们 |
| [03:24] | Why do I feel like that’s not the first time he’s screamed those words? | 这家伙应该不是第一次喊这种话 |
| [03:31] | Get me down from here, you tiny butthole. | 把我放下来 小贱人 |
| [03:36] | Thank you for keeping me safe from my sexy bad girl sister-aunt. | 谢谢你拯救我于”邪恶妖媚版姑姐”魔爪 |
| [03:40] | I know that I’ve caused you a lot of trouble in the past– | 我知道我过去惹了很多麻烦 |
| [03:43] | classic Derek– | 德里克 小废物 |
| [03:44] | but from now on, I’m here to help. | 但从今以后 我肯定派上用场 |
| [03:47] | I’d feel a lot more confident | 你让我怎么信你 |
| [03:48] | if you weren’t holding a champagne glass full of Scrabble letters, | 你拿着装有字母拼字的杯子 |
| [03:51] | but you’re all we got. | 但我们没招了 |
| [03:52] | You can keep the neighborhood running, right? | 你能维持”善地”不出乱子吧 |
| [03:55] | Well, I wasn’t technically designed for this, | 我天生没有这个功能 |
| [03:58] | but to be fair, I wasn’t designed for anything. | 但老实说 我没有任何用途 |
| [04:02] | Okay, we’re gonna get the humans far away from the center of town | 我们把那几个人类带离镇中心 |
| [04:05] | to help lighten your load. | 帮你减轻负担 |
| [04:07] | That would be really great. | 那就太好了 |
| [04:08] | – Okay. – Okay. | -好 -好 |
| [04:09] | All right, babe, it’s go time. You ready? | 亲 该走了 你准备好了吗 |
| [04:11] | Absolutely. | 当然了 |
| [04:12] | I feel very confident with you in charge. | 你执掌大局 我特别放心 |
| [04:14] | In the words of my godfather, | 引用我教父的话 |
| [04:15] | acting in what can only be described in hindsight | 他一般都是在解决问题之后 |
| [04:17] | as his most problematic role, | 才会这样说 |
| [04:19] | “You da man now, dog!” | “你就是老大了 姐妹儿” |
| [04:21] | As always, thank you for finding the quickest possible way to say things. | 你说话总是山路十八弯 绕得我头晕 |
| [04:24] | Now head off to the lake house, | 赶紧去湖屋吧 |
| [04:25] | and do your fabulous Tahani hostess thing. | 展现塔哈妮高端的办宴技能 |
| [04:28] | Actually… now that you bring it up, | 其实 话说 |
| [04:30] | Michael and Jason are rescuing Janet, | 迈克尔和杰森去救珍妮特了 |
| [04:32] | and you’re running things here. | 你在这里当家 |
| [04:34] | Even Derek has an important job. | 就连德里克也有重要任务 |
| [04:39] | I’d like to be more useful. | 我想多发挥一下用武之地 |
| [04:40] | What is it that you Americans say? | 你们美国人不常说吗 |
| [04:42] | Insert me, coachman! | “插入我 教练哥哥” |
| [04:45] | Put me in, coach. | 是”让我上场 教练” |
| [04:46] | Babe, we need these humans to stay happy and occupied, all right? | 亲 我们得分散这几个人类的注意 哄好他们 |
| [04:50] | So just pump ’em full of champagne | 你就去弄些香槟 |
| [04:52] | and those tiny little sandwiches, | 还有那些小三明治 |
| [04:53] | and keep ’em dazzled. | 让他们玩到嗨 |
| [04:54] | Of course, though I’d never serve finger sandwiches at a lake house. | 没问题 但我不会在湖屋派对供应手指三明治 |
| [04:58] | I mean, what am I? Welsh? | 我难道是威尔士人吗 |
| [05:00] | Are you? I don’t know. | 你是吗 我不知道 |
| [05:02] | No, right? | 不是吧 |
| [05:06] | Okay, we have to move quietly. | 我们得隐秘行事 |
| [05:08] | We can’t be seen by anyone until we get to Shawn. | 找到肖恩之前 不能让人看到 |
| [05:11] | It’s the only way to rescue Janet. | 只有这样才能救珍妮特 |
| [05:13] | Michael? I’m scared. | 迈克尔 我好怕 |
| [05:16] | Me too, bud. | 我也怕 |
| [05:17] | I mean, what if all this time apart | 如果分开这么久 |
| [05:19] | has changed me and Janet’s relationship? | 我和珍妮特的感情变质了呢 |
| [05:21] | What if that special connection is gone? | 我们之间没有火花了呢 |
| [05:24] | Yeah. | 无言以对 |
| [05:26] | I mean, for me, it’s scary that we’re standing in the birth place of evil | 我害怕的是 我们站在恶魔诞生之地 |
| [05:30] | surrounded by billions of demons who want to destroy us. | 这里有几十亿个恶魔想要弄死我们 |
| [05:35] | I guess we both have things we’re scared about. | 看来我们都有害怕的事 |
| [05:39] | Hello, all! | 大家好 |
| [05:41] | I took the liberty of preparing a few simple snacks. | 我为大家准备了一些小食 |
| [05:43] | This place is nice! | 这里真棒啊 |
| [05:45] | Did anyone else see that movie “The Lake House” | 有人看过那部《触不到的恋人》吗 |
| [05:48] | with Keanu and Sandy B? | 基努·里维斯和桑德拉·布洛克主演 |
| [05:50] | I love a movie with gentle magic. | 我喜欢带点魔幻色彩的电影 |
| [05:52] | Give me a time-traveling mailbox | 给我一个穿越时空的邮箱[电影情节] |
| [05:53] | or a mother-daughter body switch, | 或是母女灵魂互换 |
| [05:55] | or like Sarah Michelle Gellar as a chef | 或是像莎拉·米歇尔·盖拉成为”厨师” |
| [05:57] | and her food tastes amazing because she cries in it? | 她的食物超赞 因为她总打感情牌 |
| [06:01] | I should’ve been a screenwriter. | 我生前该当个编剧 |
| [06:02] | Yeah, this’ll do. I guess. | 这里还行吧 |
| [06:04] | I got dibs on the master bedroom. | 主卧归我了 |
| [06:06] | Simone, where’s Chidi? | 西蒙妮 奇迪呢 |
| [06:07] | He decided to just stay at home and read. | 他决定待在家看书 |
| [06:09] | He said swimming in lakes scares him. | 他说到湖边游泳有些吓人 |
| [06:11] | To be fair, most things scare him. | 老实说 他什么都怕 |
| [06:14] | Well, never fear, | 别担心 |
| [06:16] | you all stay and enjoy the full-sized sandwiches. | 你留下享用正常尺寸的三明治 |
| [06:19] | I shall go and fetch Chidi. | 我去找奇迪 |
| [06:22] | Tahani is on the job. | 塔哈妮有任务了 |
| [06:25] | Perv ‘stache, four-eyes, bee monster. | 淫贼胡 四眼 蜂怪 |
| [06:31] | Is that you? | 那是你吗 |
| [06:33] | Technically, yes. | 表面上是 |
| [06:35] | That’s a version of me I no longer recognize. | 那是我不愿再回首的自己 |
| [06:37] | Behind that handsome smile was so much cruelty, | 那迷人的微笑背后 尽是暴虐嗜杀 |
| [06:41] | so much pain inflicted on so many with such a glee. | 建立在别人痛苦之上的喜悦 |
| [06:47] | Shameful. | 往事不堪回首 |
| [06:49] | What echoes of this former self await me here? | “曾经的我”对”如今的我”又有哪些影响呢 |
| [06:53] | I feel you. | 我懂你 |
| [06:54] | It was always for me hard to go back to my old high school. | 我也很不愿回到以前的高中 |
| [06:57] | So many memories. | 太多回忆 |
| [06:59] | Also the junkyard machine crushed it into tiny cubes. | 而且垃圾车还将其铲平了 |
| [07:02] | If we get out of here alive, | 如果我们活着离开这里 |
| [07:04] | remind me to re-erase your teen years. | 提醒我抹去你青少年时的记忆 |
| [07:11] | Come on, guys. Hurry back. | 小伙伴们 速去速回啊 |
| [07:15] | Wanda. | 旺达 |
| [07:16] | Everything okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [07:19] | Come again? | 你说什么 |
| [07:24] | Derek! | 德里克 |
| [07:26] | So… things are not going well. | 情况有些失控 |
| [07:30] | – Hi, there. – Hi, there! | -你好 -你好 |
| [07:32] | You said you could handle this! | 你说你能搞定 |
| [07:34] | Yeah, well, it turns out being a single father to 300 kids | 我才知道 作为三百个孩子的单亲父亲 |
| [07:37] | is not that easy, Eleanor. | 不是易事啊 埃莉诺 |
| [07:39] | Okay, well, the four humans are still at the lake house. | 好吧 那四个人类还在湖边小屋 |
| [07:42] | So we can figure this out. | 我们能想办法解决 |
| [07:44] | What are you doing here? | 你怎么来了 |
| [07:45] | I came to get Chidi. He decided to stay home. | 我来接奇迪 他决定待在家了 |
| [07:48] | Chidi’s up there? Right now? | 奇迪眼下在家吗 |
| [07:51] | Chidi. There you are. | 奇迪 你在这里啊 |
| [07:53] | I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. | 抱歉 我该打个招呼 |
| [07:55] | I decided to just stay home and read. | 我决定待在家看书了 |
| [07:57] | Swimming in lakes scares me, and so does waterskiing. | 湖边游泳好吓人 滑水也是 |
| [08:00] | We know all that, Chidi. | 我们了解 奇迪 |
| [08:02] | We never expected you to meet the group at the lake house. | 我们猜到你不会去湖屋 |
| [08:04] | We had a special solo activity planned for you. | 我们为你安排了特别活动 |
| [08:08] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [08:10] | What is it? | 是什么 |
| [08:11] | We have hidden several clues in this apartment to a puzzle. | 我们在你的公寓里隐藏了一些解谜线索 |
| [08:18] | I love puzzles! | 我最喜欢解谜了 |
| [08:19] | They’re so much fun, but they’re also like homework. | 不仅有意思 还像完成作业 |
| [08:21] | Win-win. | 寓娱乐于学习 |
| [08:22] | Well, this one’s a doozy because when you solve it, | 这次解谜非同小可 等你解开后 |
| [08:24] | you get the answer to the truth about the universe. | 你就能领悟宇宙的真谛了 |
| [08:28] | Spoiler alert, I guess. | 你都”剧透”了啊 |
| [08:30] | Hey, Tahani, you’ve been so helpful, | 塔哈妮 你真是”帮忙”啊 |
| [08:32] | but everyone’s back at the lake house with no party hostess, | 但湖屋那边没人招待大家怎么能行呢 |
| [08:35] | which is obviously less than ideal. | 显然跟预想不同 |
| [08:37] | So go on. Get! | 你快走吧 |
| [08:40] | – Of course. – Yep. | -好 -好 |
| [08:41] | – Good luck, Chidi. – Okay. | -好运 奇迪 -走吧 |
| [08:43] | So what’s my first clue? | 第一条线索是什么 |
| [08:46] | You’ve already gotten it. | 近在眼前 |
| [08:53] | All right, idiots, | 傻叉们 |
| [08:54] | this is our 52 of the 4,000-hour presentation on the future of torture. | 这是第52界四千小时”未来酷刑”演示大会 |
| [08:59] | He’s gonna be on stage for 4,000 hours? | 他要在台上待四千个小时啊 |
| [09:02] | Here’s what I think. | 我有个主意 |
| [09:03] | – We should throw a Molotov– – Jason! | -我们扔一个燃烧… -杰森 |
| [09:05] | What? I didn’t say cocktail. | 怎么了 我又没说燃烧弹 |
| [09:06] | I could’ve meant Molotov anything. You don’t know. | “燃烧”后面可以搭配各种词 你又不知道 |
| [09:08] | Just trust me. I have a plan. | 信我 我有对策 |
| [09:10] | Humans are worse than ever. We have to innovate. | 人类比以往更差劲 我们要与时俱进 |
| [09:12] | Sure, poking sticks work great, | 平褶棒确实很有效 |
| [09:14] | but should those sticks be sharper or hotter? | 但棒子该更尖一些吗 更烫一些吗 |
| [09:17] | Should they, counterintuitively, be less hot? | 还是刚好相反 不该那么热 |
| [09:20] | Let’s begin with slide number one of 7,000. | 看一下七千页幻灯片的第一页 |
| [09:22] | 恶魔 实行现代化的行业指南 | |
| [09:25] | Nice speech. Not! | 真精彩 拉倒吧 |
| [09:28] | What’s up, dingus? | 傻圈们 大家好 |
| [09:32] | No. That’s not good. | 坏了 不妙 |
| [09:34] | What are you guys– no! | 你们干什… 不要啊 |
| [09:36] | Don’t do that! That’s not Derek! | 别这么做 德里克很伤心哎 |
| [09:38] | Derek. | 德里克 |
| [09:39] | I’m going back to the lake house to entertain | 我要回湖屋去招待客人了 |
| [09:41] | because apparently that’s all I’m good for. | 显然我就只擅长这点 |
| [09:43] | – Okay. – Gonna need some party supplies– | -好 -我需要一些宴会物品 |
| [09:45] | cocktail napkins with a cute lake-related slogan. | 鸡尾酒餐巾 上面写有妙趣横生的湖边标语 |
| [09:48] | Maybe they can say, “Better lake than never.” | “湖过总好过不来”[为时未晚] |
| [09:51] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [09:51] | I just got nothing left in the tank. | 我目前什么都变不出来 |
| [09:54] | Derek, when you get rebooted, | 德里克 你每次被重启 |
| [09:56] | you become more advanced, right? | 都会进化吧 |
| [09:58] | Well, perhaps then you’d be more capable of controlling the neighborhood. | 也许你重启 能力更强 就能维持这里了 |
| [10:01] | Yeah, yeah! | 对 对 |
| [10:01] | You said you wanted to make this up to us. | 你说想要将功补过 |
| [10:03] | Well, now is your chance. | 这就是你的机会 |
| [10:04] | – Yes! – Yes! | -好 -好 |
| [10:05] | Derek! | 棒棒哒 |
| [10:08] | What are you doing here, Vicky? | 你怎么来了 薇琪 |
| [10:09] | You’re early, and do you ever take that suit off? | 你来早了 你怎么还穿着这身臭皮囊 |
| [10:11] | – It smells terrible. – It does? | -臭死了 -是吗 |
| [10:13] | No need to be alarmed. | 大家别慌 |
| [10:14] | I know this might look like Michael, the traitorous slampig. | 这看起来像迈克尔 那个死叛徒 |
| [10:17] | However, this is actually our very own Vicky | 但这其实是薇琪 |
| [10:19] | wearing the latest in demon technology. | 穿着最新的恶魔黑科技 |
| [10:21] | A custom-made lookalike skin suit. | 量身定制的”变身皮囊” |
| [10:24] | Spin around for us, would you, hon? | 来转一圈 小丫头 |
| [10:26] | As you are all aware, | 众所周知 |
| [10:27] | our current system suffers from diminishing returns. | 我们目前的手段没当年威猛了 |
| [10:30] | Sure, the first time someone gets butthole spiders, | 一开始有人受菊花蜘蛛之苦 |
| [10:32] | he’s miserable, | 痛不欲生 |
| [10:33] | but soon the humans get used to it. | 但很快人类就产生抗性了 |
| [10:34] | And worse, the spiders get bored. | 更糟的是 蜘蛛觉得没劲了 |
| [10:37] | These personalized skin suits represent the dawn of a new era: Torture 2.0. | 这种定制”变身皮囊”预示着新时代到来 酷刑2.0版 |
| [10:45] | And speaking of which, | 说起这一点 |
| [10:46] | I figured DemonCon would be the best place to surprise you | “恶魔科技展”最适合展现我这个伟大发明了 |
| [10:51] | with my greatest invention. | 绝对让你惊掉下巴 |
| [10:53] | Come on out, Jason! | 出来吧 杰森 |
| [10:59] | I had the boys down in R&D make a Jason suit. | 我让工程部做了一套”杰森皮囊” |
| [11:01] | I thought it’d be fun new way to torture Janet. | 这样折磨珍妮特 更有意思 |
| [11:03] | Come on. Come on. Here you go. | 来 给他老人家瞧瞧 |
| [11:05] | I didn’t okay this. | 没经过我同意 |
| [11:06] | I know, but hey, I’m Vicky. | 我知道 但我是薇琪啊 |
| [11:08] | I’m a total munch. | 不听话 就是我人设 |
| [11:09] | That you are. Good point. | 确实如此 说得也是 |
| [11:13] | Not bad. | 不错 |
| [11:14] | They went a little overboard on the cheekbones, but still. | 颧骨有些用力过猛 但整体还行 |
| [11:17] | Wait, who’s in there? | 慢着 谁穿着他的皮 |
| [11:19] | – Glenn. – Makes sense. | -格伦 -想来也是 |
| [11:21] | Get an idiot to play an idiot. | 找个傻鸟来演傻鸟 |
| [11:22] | I was beginning to wonder where you were, Glenn. | 我还想着你跑去哪了 格伦 |
| [11:24] | I’m right here in Jason. | 我就穿着”杰森皮囊”呢 |
| [11:27] | Definitely not a big bucket of goo. | 绝对没变成一桶粘液 |
| [11:29] | Okay. Say, boss, | 是这样 老大 |
| [11:30] | what do you say we put these innovative suits of yours to work? | 用新制造出来的皮囊来试试效果如何 |
| [11:33] | We’ll go torture Good Janet, | 我们去折磨”良善版珍妮特” |
| [11:35] | and… let you know how it goes. | 看下效果如何 到时通知你 |
| [11:37] | Which way is it again? | 往哪走来着 |
| [11:38] | Wait. I have a better idea. | 等下 我有个更好的点子 |
| [11:40] | I say we torture Good Janet right here, right now live on stage. | 就在这里现场演示怎么折磨”良善版珍妮特” |
| [11:44] | Rufus, go get the Good Janet. | 鲁弗斯 把”良善版珍妮特”带上来 |
| [11:47] | This part of your plan seems risky. | 你这招有点险啊 |
| [11:49] | This was not part of my plan. | 这不在我计划之中 |
| [11:51] | Thank God. I thought you had a bad plan. | 谢天谢地 还以为你想了个馊主意 |
| [11:55] | Okay, it’s easy. | 小菜一碟 |
| [11:57] | Just hit the button. | 按下去就行了 |
| [11:58] | You’ve seen Mindy do it a million times. | 你都看明迪按过无数次了 |
| [12:00] | Yeah. Here we go. | 来吧 |
| [12:02] | No, no, no! | 不不不 |
| [12:04] | Don’t kill me, me. Don’t do it! | 求”我”别杀我啊 别杀我 |
| [12:08] | Now why is that so hard? | 怎么就这么难呢 |
| [12:10] | I kinda– you know what? | 我有点… 行了 |
| [12:12] | I see what I gotta do. | 我知道怎么做了 |
| [12:13] | Just kind of look at this– | 就当作是… |
| [12:14] | Derek! | 德里克 |
| [12:21] | Excellent. | “真棒” |
| [12:25] | Dude, what were you thinking? | 大姐 你想啥呢 |
| [12:26] | I just wanted to be useful. | 我就是想发挥一下用武之地 |
| [12:28] | All I ever get to do here is throw parties, | 我一直就只会办派对 |
| [12:30] | which is all I ever got to do back on Earth. | 我生前也就只有这一个技能点 |
| [12:32] | Now I’ve ruined everything. | 结果我现在搞砸了一切 |
| [12:33] | No. You gave us a way out. | 不 你让我们柳暗花明又一村了 |
| [12:36] | So I fixed everything. | 我拯救了乾坤 |
| [12:37] | No, you’ve made things difficult in a new way, | 没有 你给我们忙中添乱了 |
| [12:39] | but I can make it work. | 但我能补救 |
| [12:41] | Well, the important thing is, I did something. | 重点是 我派上用处了 |
| [12:42] | Be quiet and follow my lead. | 你别说话了 听我指示 |
| [12:44] | Yes, ma’am. | 遵命 |
| [12:44] | Chidi? Come on out, bud. | 奇迪 出来 |
| [12:47] | Okay! Am I close? | 好 我快解开了吗 |
| [12:48] | No, there’s like 4,000 clues in here. | 没有 这里有四千个线索 |
| [12:50] | You found five. I’m just gonna skip to the end. | 你找到了五个 我就帮你快进一下吧 |
| [12:53] | This puzzle was going to take you on adventures all over the neighborhood. | 这场解谜旨在让你踏上一段冒险旅程 |
| [12:58] | Horseback riding, hot air ballooning, | 骑马 乘热气球 |
| [13:00] | and I asked Tahani to be involved | 我让塔哈妮过来帮忙 |
| [13:02] | because she did all those things on Earth. | 因为她生前都做过这些事了 |
| [13:04] | You’ve been in paradise for a month, | 你已经在天堂里一个月了 |
| [13:06] | and you’re still so reluctant to try new activities. | 你还是不愿意尝试新事物 |
| [13:09] | Yeah, I know. | 我知道 |
| [13:09] | I’m just not a “new experience” kind of guy. | 我就是那种不爱尝试新事物的人 |
| [13:13] | I mean, my comfort zone is basically, like, that chair, | 我的舒适区基本就局限于那张椅子 |
| [13:17] | and honestly, the arms are a little sharp. | 老实说 扶手有些刺人啊 |
| [13:21] | I want you to believe that you’re safe here, | 我想让你相信 你在这里很安全 |
| [13:25] | that you can trust me. | 你可以信任我 |
| [13:27] | Do you trust me, Chidi? | 你相信我吧 奇迪 |
| [13:30] | Yes. I really do. | 信 我真信你 |
| [13:33] | Then come with me. | 那就跟我走 |
| [13:35] | These personalized skin suits are a true game changer. | 这种定制”变身皮囊”将带来巨大革新 |
| [13:38] | Imagine being able to torment a human not as yourself, | 想象一下折磨别人时 不是以你的身份 |
| [13:42] | but as their wife or ex-wife, | 而是以对方妻子或前妻的身份 |
| [13:43] | or just some mouthy broad. | 或是任何一个嘴贱的婆娘 |
| [13:45] | They are so convincing, they even work on a Good Janet! | 这些皮囊能以假乱真 “良善版珍妮特”也招架不住 |
| [13:54] | Great, more Vicky. | 又来伪装这一套 |
| [13:55] | Hey, your Michael impression stinks almost as much as your suit. | 你这身”迈克尔皮囊”跟你一样臭气熏天 |
| [13:59] | Why does everyone keep saying that? | 怎么每个人都这么说 |
| [14:00] | Welcome, Janet. We have a special guest for you today. | 欢迎 珍妮特 今天为你请来了特别嘉宾 |
| [14:05] | Hi, Janet, it’s me. Jason. | 珍妮特 是我 杰森 |
| [14:08] | Your boyfriend. I really miss you. | 你男友 我好想你啊 |
| [14:12] | I know we were in a fight before, | 我知道我们之前吵了一架 |
| [14:14] | but I hope you’ve forgiven me because I love you, girl. | 但我希望你能原谅我 因为我爱你 妹子 |
| [14:21] | Not a girl. | “不是妹子” |
| [14:23] | – Well, Janet… – Yeah? | -珍妮特 -怎么了 |
| [14:25] | How does that make you feel? | 你感觉如何 |
| [14:27] | Terrible! | 太难受了 |
| [14:32] | Adequate work, Glenn. | 演技真好 格伦 |
| [14:33] | Rufus, take the Janet back to her cell. | 鲁弗斯 把珍妮特带回监狱 |
| [14:35] | No, no, no. No, please. | 不用 不用 |
| [14:37] | Let us take Janet back ourselves. | 我们把珍妮特带回去 |
| [14:39] | I wanna get a little extra torture time in on the way there. | 我想在路上再折磨她一下 |
| [14:42] | I don’t see why not. | 也不失为一个好主意 |
| [14:43] | Hello, dummies! It’s me, Michael! | 傻鸟们 我是迈克尔 |
| [14:47] | I’m just kidding. | 开玩笑 |
| [14:48] | It’s me, Vicky, in a Michael suit. | 我是薇琪 披着迈克尔的皮 |
| [14:52] | What’s going on here? | 这是什么套路 |
| [14:53] | I was never told that I had an understudy. | 没人通知我 我还有”替角” |
| [14:59] | There you go, buddy. You’re doing great. | 真棒 你表现真好 |
| [15:01] | Where are we going? | 我们去哪里 |
| [15:03] | Somewhere fun. Just follow my voice. | 有意思的地方 跟着我的声音走 |
| [15:09] | This is… kind of fun. | 这还挺有意思 |
| [15:13] | I’m very scared, but also I like it? | 我很心慌 但又有点享受 |
| [15:17] | – Hi, there. – Hi, whoever you are. | -你好 -你好 陌生人 |
| [15:19] | Don’t mind us. We’re just doing a trust thing. | 没事 我们正在玩一个信任游戏 |
| [15:21] | Hi, there. | 你好 |
| [15:23] | What was that sound? | 什么声音 |
| [15:25] | – A unicorn died. – What? | -一只独角兽死了 -什么 |
| [15:27] | No, I mean, not a unicorn. My mistake. | 不 不是独角兽 我看错了 |
| [15:29] | Just a–a regular horse that someone stabbed in the head. | 就是一只普通马 头被人捅了几刀 |
| [15:33] | What? | 什么 |
| [15:35] | What in the name of Kevin Spacey’s self-made | “凯文·史派西”圣诞节之时 |
| [15:39] | on “House of Cards” is going on here? | 也没这么鬼扯啊 |
| [15:41] | – Michael. – Who are you? | -迈克尔 -你是谁 |
| [15:42] | Who am I? | 我是谁 |
| [15:43] | You had this the whole time? | 你一直随身拿着啊 |
| [15:45] | Yeah, I wanted to explode a bunch of demons, | 对 我本来想炸几个恶魔 |
| [15:47] | but you told me I should wait. | 但你说我不该冲动 |
| [15:48] | – So I did. – Vicky! | -我就没炸 -薇琪 |
| [15:50] | Why did you build a second Michael suit? | 你为什么做了第二套”迈克尔皮囊” |
| [15:52] | He didn’t! No, I mean, I didn’t. | 他没有 我意思是 我没有 |
| [15:56] | Look. | 我现形吧 |
| [16:01] | It can’t be. | 我信了你的邪 |
| [16:03] | Yes, it’s true. | 没错 |
| [16:05] | It’s me. The real Michael. | 是我 真正的迈克尔 |
| [16:07] | We know all about your plot to sabotage our experiment. | 我们知道你图谋破坏实验了 |
| [16:10] | We know you brought Chris in to pretend to be Linda | 我们知道你派克里斯伪装成琳达 |
| [16:14] | to distract us while you planted a Bad Janet | 狸猫换太子 将”邪恶版珍妮特”换进来 |
| [16:16] | to pretend to be a Good Janet. | 假装成”良善版珍妮特” |
| [16:20] | No, stop clapping! This is real! | 鼓什么掌 这不是演戏 |
| [16:22] | – Someone capture them. – Rufus, I’m warning you. | -快来人抓住他们 -鲁弗斯 我警告你 |
| [16:24] | I know we go way back. We used to be roommates. | 我们俩有交情 以前还是室友 |
| [16:27] | But if you take another step, | 但如果你再上前一步 |
| [16:28] | I will use this Demon Exploder on you. | 我就用”恶魔爆炸蛋”把你炸掉 |
| [16:31] | A Demon Exploder? Come on, man. | “恶魔爆炸蛋” 别扯了 |
| [16:33] | At least try to make that sound convincing. | 你这瞎编能力不行啊 |
| [16:37] | Wow. | 哎呀呀 |
| [16:39] | Touché. | 真炸了 |
| [16:42] | I used to be just like all of you. | 我以前跟你们一样 |
| [16:43] | I sat right where you’re sitting at more than 10,000 DemonCons, | 就坐在台下 参加过一万场”恶魔科技展” |
| [16:47] | and I believed that we committed torture | 我那时认为我们惩罚人类 |
| [16:50] | as a part of the moral balance of the universe, | 是天道轮回 善恶有报 |
| [16:53] | but I’ve learned that’s wrong. | 但我如今知道不是这样 |
| [16:55] | Humans are capable of self-improvement, | 人类有向善的能力 |
| [16:57] | and so are we. | 我们亦如此 |
| [16:59] | And down deep, Shawn knows this is true too. | 而内心深处 肖恩也知道 |
| [17:03] | I beg you. Open your eyes to the truth. | 我求你们睁开眼 看清真相 |
| [17:11] | Bravo, Michael. What a monologue. | 真精彩 迈克尔 台词满分 |
| [17:14] | Not! | 拉倒吧 |
| [17:18] | I’m not scared of you because I’ve gone there, Michael. | 我不怕你 因为我领悟你了 迈克尔 |
| [17:21] | I’ve become you. | 我成为”你”了 |
| [17:23] | You may act like you’ve changed, | 你表面上变了 |
| [17:25] | but deep down, you’re still a demon. | 但内心还是个恶魔 |
| [17:27] | Vile, ugly, capable of so much darkness. | 邪恶 丑陋 阴暗不堪 |
| [17:32] | And now you’re home. | 你现在回家了 |
| [17:37] | Come on! | 能不能行了 |
| [17:39] | Let’s go. Come on. | 我们走 快走 |
| [17:41] | – Let’s go! – No, you morons! | -快走 -别想逃 蠢货们 |
| [17:43] | Stop applauding them! They’re getting away! | 别给他们鼓掌了 他们就要逃走了 |
| [17:45] | I swear, the production value at DemonCon gets better every year. | “恶魔科技展”的制作水准一年比一年高啊 |
| [17:50] | Man, look at this house, and that beautiful lake. | 瞧瞧这房子 这美丽的湖泊 |
| [17:54] | I can’t believe I almost missed all this. | 我差点就错过了 |
| [17:56] | Is this the answer to the truth about the universe? | 这就是宇宙的真谛吗 |
| [18:00] | Part of it. | 一部分是 |
| [18:02] | The puzzle continues! | 解谜继续啊 |
| [18:04] | Hey, you decided to come after all. | 你最终还是来了啊 |
| [18:07] | I did. | 是啊 |
| [18:09] | Thanks to Eleanor and Tahani. | 多亏埃莉诺和塔哈妮 |
| [18:11] | You two are the best. | 你们最牛掰了 |
| [18:13] | That was insane, but we got through it together. | 好惊险 但我们一起化险为夷了 |
| [18:19] | No, we didn’t. | 才没有 |
| [18:20] | You got through it. | 你一个人的功劳 |
| [18:22] | I almost ruined it a hundred times. | 我差点搞砸了千百次 |
| [18:24] | From now on, I’m just gonna stick to throwing parties | 从今以后 我就只负责办派对好了 |
| [18:27] | ’cause it’s the only thing I’m good at. | 因为我就只有这一项技能 |
| [18:33] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [18:34] | When I said throw a party, I didn’t mean a pity party. | 我说”开派对” 没让你自怨自艾[同情自己的派对] |
| [18:37] | This isn’t a pity party. I’m genuinely sad. | 我不是自怨自艾 我是真伤心 |
| [18:40] | The only thing I can do is throw pointless parties. | 我就只会办一些毫无意义的派对 |
| [18:43] | You run the entire neighborhood. | 你掌管整个社区 |
| [18:44] | You’re so capable. | 我能力超群 |
| [18:45] | I have seen you get stuck in any manner of crazy situation, | 我见过你多次遭遇各种险情 |
| [18:49] | and you always figure a way out. | 你总能转危为安 |
| [18:51] | Yeah, man, because I have had to scrape and claw my way through life, | 没错 因为没有伞的孩子才会努力奔跑啊 |
| [18:55] | and you grew up in a castle | 而你是城堡里的小公主 |
| [18:56] | full of diamond lamps and golden pillow cases. | 从小锦衣玉食 娇生惯养 |
| [18:59] | You never learned how to think on your feet. | 根本用不着去学见机行事 因时制宜 |
| [19:01] | Look, if the roles were reversed | 如果我们互换角色 |
| [19:03] | and I had to throw a fancy party to save all of humanity, | 我只能靠办一场精美派对来拯救人类 |
| [19:07] | I promise we’d be screwed | 我们绝对完蛋了 |
| [19:09] | because I wouldn’t know what salad fork | 因为我都不知道沙拉餐叉 |
| [19:11] | to put next to the… whatever spoon. | 应该放在什么勺子旁边 |
| [19:15] | The Whatever Spoon is really only used for certain festive jellies. | 那些勺子是为了一些特殊节日的果冻而准备 |
| [19:18] | See? | 你看 |
| [19:19] | Babe, the dodos in that house | 亲 房子里的傻人类 |
| [19:22] | are literally the four most important human beings in the universe. | 就是全宇宙中最重要的四个人类 |
| [19:27] | I wanted you to take care of them because I trust you. | 我信任你 才让你照看他们 |
| [19:29] | Plus, your parties aren’t pointless. | 另外 你办的派对也不是没有意义 |
| [19:31] | They’re opportunities for them to bond and form friendships. | 这是让他们亲近交好的机会 |
| [19:34] | You know, the thing we need them to do | 我们的任务就是让他们感情升华 |
| [19:37] | so we’re not all tortured forever? | 这样我们就不用被永世折磨了 |
| [19:41] | You’re right, and thank you. | 你说得对 谢谢你 |
| [19:44] | But if we ever get through this, | 但如果我们成功了 |
| [19:46] | I want to learn how to do something meaningful. | 我想学一些真正能派上用场的技能 |
| [19:49] | A real skill. | 实用性技能 |
| [19:50] | Something helpful and fulfilling. | 又有用 又有成就感 |
| [19:52] | Okay, man, if we survive this, | 如果我们大难不死 |
| [19:55] | I promise I will support you | 我无条件支持你 |
| [19:57] | while you learn to weld or whatever. | 你学焊接都没问题 |
| [20:00] | Deal? | 成吗 |
| [20:02] | Deal. | 成 |
| [20:09] | That ought to stop them from following us. | 这样就毁掉追兵的路了 |
| [20:11] | So smart. | 真机智 |
| [20:12] | Nice to have you back, Janet. | 你回来真好 珍妮特 |
| [20:14] | It must’ve been hard for you to go back there. | 重回恶地 你肯定备受煎熬 |
| [20:18] | It was. | 没错 |
| [20:20] | I don’t like thinking about who I used to be. | 我不愿回首过去的自己 |
| [20:23] | Listen, Michael, | 听着 迈克尔 |
| [20:24] | it’s okay to feel or plead guilty about bad things you used to do, | 感觉有愧 干了坏事而认罪 都没关系 |
| [20:30] | but you don’t have to feel shame about who you were, | 你不必以过去的自己为耻 |
| [20:32] | because you are not demon anymore, | 因为你已不再是一个恶魔了 |
| [20:35] | you’re just like a nice weird happy old dude. | 你就是一个嘻哈疯癫的老顽童 |
| [20:40] | Thanks for rescuing me. | 谢谢来救我 |
| [20:42] | I missed you so much. | 我好想你 |
| [20:44] | I missed you too. | 我也好想你 |
| [20:45] | Bad Janet was so mean to me. | “邪恶版珍妮特”欺负我了 |
| [20:47] | She told me so many lies. | 她骗了我好多事 |
| [20:48] | Like she said the Jags cut Blake Bortles. | 她说美洲虎队裁掉了布莱克·博特斯 |
| [20:50] | Can you believe that? | 你说过不过分 |
| [20:51] | No. Jason, that wasn’t a lie. | 不好 杰森 那不是骗你 |
| [20:55] | Blake Bortles was cut by the Jaguars. | 布莱克·博特斯被美洲虎队裁掉了 |
| [20:57] | What? | 什么 |
| [20:58] | How? Why? | 怎么会 为什么 |
| [20:59] | Who’s their QB now? | 那现在谁是四分卫啊 |
| [21:01] | A man named Nick Foles. | 一个叫尼克·福勒斯的人 |
| [21:02] | Nick Foles? Are you kidding me? | 尼克·福勒斯 我靠啊 |
| [21:06] | He won a Super Bowl! | 他赢过超级碗 |
| [21:08] | We’re gonna be unstoppable! | 我们这下要牛掰了 |
| [21:10] | Foles! | 福勒斯万岁 |
| [21:12] | – Foles! – Foles! | -福勒斯万岁 -福勒斯万岁 |
| [21:15] | No. Nick Foles just broke his clavicle. | 坏了 尼克·福勒斯刚锁骨骨折了 |
| [21:18] | Nooo! | 不要啊 |